''I travelled to a state in the northern part of Nigeria and decided to visit my childhood friend IK that lives there. When I got to his house he was on call. When he cut the call he was so sad, I asked him what was wrong and he told me that Odinaka his big cousin is threatening his father (IK's father) that if he doesn't share all his lands into two equal parts and give him one to share with his siblings from his mothers side that he will deal with him and his family badly.
That the call he answered was his younger brother that called him to come home that their father no longer sleep well at night. That he is always saying "Odinaka ogini? (Odinaka what)" whenever he is sleeping.
I was surprise. I asked him what gave Odinaka the nerves to confront his father to the extent of threatening him to share his lands into two equal part and give him one.
That was when he released the bomb. He told me that Odinaka and his siblings we all know that time as their cousins are their step brothers and sister.
In Igbo, land there is this old tradition (Nwoke ikuchi nwunye nwanne ya nwuru anwu ka ngwuru ya hapu ichi) that when a man die his brother will be gbenching his late brother's wife to give birth to a child/children so that his lineage will not end.
His father's brother died without having a child , so as tradition demands IK's father will have to be gbenching his brother's wife so that she will give birth for his brother. That was how IK's father gave birth to Odinaka, Ngozi and Chima.
His father now got married and gave birth to IK and his siblings. Papa IK trained all of them, from Odinaka to IK and his siblings.
He said when Odinaka confronted his father about the land, he tried to make Odinaka understand that he only did what tradition demands to help his late brother, that his 1st son is IK not him Odinaka. Odinaka told him that he doesn't care about any tradition that he is his biological father and he, Odinaka is his 1st son. That he must share the lands like he said or there will be trouble.
I told my friend IK to go and see his father and talk with him. That he should share the lands into two equal parts and give Odinaka and his siblings one. That the other half with other properties that Odinaka is not aware of, that his father should write a will to share the properties among him(IK) and his siblings. Because if he did not settle this now he is alive, that when he is gone Odinaka might go as far as using juju to fight them.
IK said his father gave Odinaka 1M last year to support his business when he was having financial issue that he(IK) don't understand why Odinaka wants to break up a happy family. I told him that someone is brainwashing him.
He called me last two months and told me that his father has given Odinaka his own share of the land but they are not in talking terms again.
PS: the names used are not their real names .
My Question to those that know tradition more than I do, is right for Odinaka to demand the share of properties for him and his siblings? Because I'm afraid Odinaka may come back in the future for more''.
*Well,I dont think Odinaka has done anything wrong in asking for their share of Properties....What kind of tradition is this sef?I am on his side and i dont think anyone Brain washed him,he is only collecting what rightfully belongs to him.
Hmmmm....let the igbos enlighten us.
ReplyDeleteStella, is a sperm donor a father? Because that is what he did for his brother's wife.
DeleteHe is their biological father but not their reall father. They wont bare his name and they know it. Not like i blame the Odinaka sha. I am sure the uncle/father in question is a rich man and he got jealous of his cousins/bothers.
If this story is true, then His father should’ve called a clan meeting ‘on his head’. This story is somehow because as much as I detest this tradition, there are strict rules governing it and it is more than IK’s father or Odinaka... these are strict cultural rules.
DeleteAnyways, the man tow the path of peace but really, it is probably better he lets the whole village know what’s going on...that might even play a part in them scrapping the stupid tradition
Well, they say Igbos are descendants of the Israelites.. In the days of the Patriach, this tradition was upheld. God actually punished a man by death for fucking his late brother’s wife for the sake of enjoyment (he practiced the withdrawal method) and refusing to create a lineage for his brother.
DeleteThe child is, for all intents and purposes and legally the brother’s. It’s just like the one women marry other women to bear children for their son’s or husbands to continue the lineage.
These things appear strange and repulsive when viewed with modern eyes but these traditions were made to address societal issues of the time and the women were treated decently and highly valued in the family. I also have to say that things have been corrupted and men usurped the tradition and turned it into what it was not meant to be - harassing these women, using them for their sexual desires, maltreating them, abandoning the kids etc
If the man was true and did his best by his brother- kinsman (remember Ruth and Boaz) according to what he believed at the time, he should call the extended family and village elders to address the issue.
The greater question is, didn’t his brother own lands? Where are those lands? If his brother didn’t before he died, then sharing land to his brother’s children is not a factor of ‘they are his kids’ but of his continuing goodwill to his brother’... and he should do such while he is still alive so his own children do not have to deal with the acrimony when he’s gone..
Thank you @Ada. And dont forget that the bride price paid on the widow is by her late husband therefore any offspring from her belong to the late husband even if she got pregnant by an outsider, unless that bride price is returned.
DeleteThis can never even be an issue in Igbo lang because the laws guiding ikuchi nwanyi is strong and ancient. Simply invite the elders and it will be settled.
Odinaka is the son of his mothers late husband.
In my own family i have "uncles" too young to have been fathered by my late grandfather. But cos he died b4 his young wife had children by him, the young woman continued child bearing in his name as his bride price was still on them. No one dares say they are not my grandfathers children.
I think this uncle,i.e your friend's father got greedy and seized his late brothers properties leaving Odinaka and his siblings with non. So my dear, the story isn't complete. Your friend's father took all the lands even the ones belonging to his late brother. Odinaka is right for fighting for what belongs to him and his siblings.
DeleteMost of the time, the woman would be asked to choose from one of the men from her husband's kinsman. It's only the greedy brother-in-law that would impose himself on the widow in order to take his late brother's share as well. For example, this Odinaka's uncle. Who knows if the wealth he has today is his brother's,i.e Odinaka's late father wealth, yes your late uncle was Odinaka's father.It's a tradition wether born before or after death as far as Odinaka mother's bride price wasn't returned and she stays as a wife to your late uncle.
So poster, tell your friend to ask his father some questions....
Incomplete story....
chim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
Ikuchi nwanyi..is barbaric. It happens in some parts of IMO state. My Friend was asked to marry her B.I.L to secure her hubby',s property and she refused!! That was how she left the marriage without a dime. She had 3 kids for her late hubby
ReplyDeleteWhat? Even in this day and age?
DeleteThat's why it's good for a man to write his will cause all these can't happen with one
DeleteNo,it's not where I come from. The woman, widow decides to stay or leave. Nobody forces anyone to stay,the best they do is to PLEAD with the widow to stay so that she can born, if the widow doesn't have any kid before the date of her husband. And she chooses who she wants from the kindred. So it's a thing of choice. There are so many widows in their husband's houses today without being harassed by any in law or drove away because she refused to allow any of the in laws sleep her.
DeleteMy sister is in her late husband's house today and nobody is disturbing her like wise my mother and so many other women out there. So know your right.....
chim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
Before the death of her husband
Deletechim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
Silly tradition. Who gbenshed to birth Odinaka? IK's father...so Odinaka is his biological son. Case closed...I commend Odinaka for being a smart guy jare. It is silly how people allow outdated traditions complicate their lives.
ReplyDeleteI am Igbo and I have heard of such a tradition but the father dint have to sleep with the woman if he dint want to, it’s longer throat that made him sleep with her. If I was odinaka I will ask for the same right, I dint send you lineage message, you can’t bring me into this world with other siblings and say some should enjoy why others should suffer.
DeleteHe should have shared it since so that it doesn’t bring wahala, after all now that it has been shared odinaka cannot come back tomorrow and ask for any other thing if he gets broke again.
Next time they will leave tradition alone, it’s not all that is compulsory, he should put his unknown property in ik and his siblings names
Odinika didn't do anything wrong, in fact the father is in the wrong. Using tradition to cover up, just say you enjoy knocking your brother's wife. He still went ahead to remarry and he's claiming the children he fathered from his loins are his brother's. Women are unfortunately at the receiving end, that was how one yeye deacon in church was suspended after the niece came to church that her uncle (deacon) has been sleeping with her, getting her pregnant and aborting the babies since her father died and she came to live with his family. The surprising thing was that Mr Deacon was claiming tradition and using it to sleep with his brother's widow (the niece's mother). The widow said she has never denied him sex anytime he came knocking so he doesn't understand why he would be sleeping with her daughter under his care as well. Mr. Deacon has a PhD and is an associate professor at a federal university, so if someone so educated can be claiming tradition sleeping with his brother's widow despite having a wife and sleeping with his niece as well. Some people are just sick, why would you be sleeping with mother and daughter? So please let's forget these traditions and men should stop thinking they are enjoying themselves in the name of tradition because the consequences are severe.
ReplyDeleteThe woman is so stupid. It must be a known thing before her brother in law will sleep with her. People should stop misinterpreting all these things. Selfish men are using it to their advantages. Even the wife of the man that will 'kujie' the woman MUST be on the known and as well the husband discuss with her before involving himself.
DeleteSo many greedy and selfish men out there....
And the stupid daughter.....gosh
Anyway, it's the only the stupid and lazy women that can be treating that way....
chim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
Can be treated that way
Deletechim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
See the bad advice u have your friend.Why do Africans believe people can not think on their own? Everyday somebody is brain washing him or her...mtcheew. The boy has the right to claim his share of the property. Smh..How did his dad helped his late brother? How are the kids his late brother's now? Stupid tradition. Wasting the poor woman's (widow) life just like that.s
ReplyDeleteThe man is delusional using tradition to say Odinaka is not his son. That said, Odinaka has entitlement mentality. Why threaten a man over properties? What happened to hustling hard and shaming the man? My people don't practice this tradition though.
ReplyDeleteOdinaka is the man's responsibility. He didn't ask that man to have sex with his mom. It ok to have an entitlement mentality, when it has to do with your parent. That's the only time entitlement mentality is ok. Any other is not important
DeleteThe man is a wicked man. That is how he would have created long generational dispute between all the children because of his selfish act. His sperm produced Odinaka and his siblings, so they are his children. I wonder why Odinaka mother couldn't go and remarry outside the family. Very stupid tradition always making the women to suffer while the men will just be enjoying anyhow they want
DeleteIn some parts of Igbo land, not in Igbo land because in my place, your brother's wife is your sister.Infact, no other member of her family can marry from yours because by tradition,her family and yours became one through marriage.
ReplyDeleteThat there is an age long igbo tradition just like in the bible concerning the jews. If u dont know or understand it pls dont expose ur stupidity thinking its wisdom. Its optional n never forced on a man to help continue the lineage of his late brother under the condition that the children belong to the late brother hence they can only inherit the late brother's properties not the man's . But if the man wants them as his then he must perform some traditional rites n pay the widow's bride price otherwise for as long as that bride price was paid by the late brother, the widow n any offspring from her belongs to him.
ReplyDeleteThank you beautifulsoul. I've been replying comments up there and didn't get to yours before that.
DeleteI think so many things have to be written down so that people would know their right.
From what I know it's NEVER A FORCED THING but A THING OF CHOICE....
chim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
Silly old man, so he can perform his late brother's duty by gbenshing his widow to give birth but he can't continue the duty by giving them properties? Thief!
ReplyDeleteOdinaka did well by demanding for his right, the father is very wrong on this one. What a tradition
ReplyDeleteBuh what happened to his late brother's land?
ReplyDeleteExactly the point.
DeleteHe can as well return his brother's property to his kid's. U can help in d other room but run away when it's time to truly show your love for your dead brother. Some men are so wicked.
He got greedy by seizing his late brothe's properties and that's where the problem started. He thought Odinaka wouldn't ask questions as where his late father's properties are.
Deletechim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
From my own opinion, Odinaka did the right thing,he asked for the share of what belongs to "them ".Hope he doesn't become a 'prodigal son '?
ReplyDeleteIt happens o. It happens in delta state sef, not all parts tho. The igbo speaking part. Odinaka is right, normally if the brother is unmarried before the death he's not supposed to marry another wife other than the inherited wife. Odinakas father is the selfish one. They usually do it when the wife is young sef not just all wife. Because they believe it will be difficult for someone else to marry her and they don't want such a young person to go through that trauma. Odinakas father also have the right to reject the offer it's not by force o.
ReplyDeletePoster, take only what the Igbos here say. Stella's red ink isn't what is.
ReplyDeleteIn the core Igbo tradition, Odinaka is not the man's child but belongs to his late brother.it was good that the man shared the land though to let peace reign.
His late brother should also have land to his name.
The man should have called the villagers to be a judge in the matter.
This is why i don't like all this ancient culture and tradition.
His 1st son still remains IK.
This was also practised in the bible.
Anony which igbo speaking part of Delta state? It is better you state the exact tribe where it happens before you deceive people with this your comment cos I'm from Delta ibo and it doesn't happen in my own place.
ReplyDeletePls am shocked that some people here is trying to place tradition over science! Odinaka is the man's first son and not I.K. DNA will prove that! All Odinaka has to do after his father's death is go to court and ask for paternity test. So he tried "helping" his late bro's lineage with 3kids? Who is fooling who? The man has done the right thing..
ReplyDeleteIn Naija as someone testified up there, even PhD holders claim tradition and culture to perpetrate evil. When you see people who should know better hiding under tradition, check well they are being dubious in some way.
DeleteIf the man did not pay the dowry of the woman after her husband's demise. Odinaka is not entitled at all to his wealth.
ReplyDeleteAda did a very good Justice to this story. It's not just a tradition, it was also practiced in the Bible by the Israelites like she stated above.
ReplyDelete