STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BRUISED OVER THE WIFE WHO STRAYED
Hi Stella, I have been a secret member of your blog for years. And now, I have decided to share a story that has been bothering me for more than a year now. I met this lady while staying in my uncle’s flat somewhere in Lagos Island in 2009. I was a part-time student in the university then while she was a secondary school certificate holder with no good results. We started dating and the friendship grew. One day, I called her, and made her to understand that I love her enough to marry her but the only problem was her educational background.
BRUISED OVER THE WIFE WHO STRAYED
Hi Stella, I have been a secret member of your blog for years. And now, I have decided to share a story that has been bothering me for more than a year now. I met this lady while staying in my uncle’s flat somewhere in Lagos Island in 2009. I was a part-time student in the university then while she was a secondary school certificate holder with no good results. We started dating and the friendship grew. One day, I called her, and made her to understand that I love her enough to marry her but the only problem was her educational background.
I told her that I was ready to help her with it, if she was interested, she agreed and after 4 months I got an admission for her to a polytechnic. She paid the school fees while I helped out with other logistics, part of which included furnishing her apartment to make the place comfortable for her. I was going to school as well.
She got pregnant in ND 2 while I was in 400 levels. She insisted on keeping the baby which I agreed to and we started planning our wedding. I rented a new befitting house in Ikorodu and I furnished the house because I wanted to give my baby the best of everything.
We got married in December, 2011 and we were happy together. She is from Akwa Ibom while I am a Yoruba man. I work on the island and I only go home on weekends due to the bad road but I was always in touch with her. She gave birth on the 20th of April 2012 to a baby boy. The birth came with a lot of complications which exhausted my savings; I spent close to 700k even though we used a state hospital. And she spent 2 months in the hospital to show how difficult the birth was. And that was the beginning of our problems.
It all started when her mother came for omugwo and she was about to go, when she was around, she ate whatever she wanted, despite the fact that I was broke then and her daughter was doing nothing. And when it was time for her to go, she counted the cost of all their traditional rites and gave me a bill of 80k but I begged her and told her to manage 30k pending when things become better. That was in 2012. After she left, my wife started showing her true self. I found out some baby cloths she bought for my son were actually gifts from one of her siblings but she made me pay for them, despite the fact that I was short of cash. I confronted her and she apologized and promised it won't happen again but the trust I had for her, had reduced.
Second, she brought a lady to my house during a festive period and told me it was her distance relation. I asked why she was absent in our wedding, she said the lady was not around then but I later found out she was her “ex-sister”. I spent money on the lady while she was with us, so I was angry when I found out the truth. All this reduced my trust for her but I love her dearly because she gave me one of the smartest boys that ever lived.
What eventually broke the camel’s back was when she finished her ND, then, the baby was small, so I encouraged her to try her hands on something since she knows how to mix body scrubs. She got a male customer through a friend and the guy started patronizing her and I was the first person to help her supply the guy. Later I started seeing some nasty messages from the guy and the messages were so nasty that I could not take it anymore, I called her attention to it, and she blocked the guy immediately. I felt relieved thinking I had quenched the fire that was about to burn my home.
She got pregnant in ND 2 while I was in 400 levels. She insisted on keeping the baby which I agreed to and we started planning our wedding. I rented a new befitting house in Ikorodu and I furnished the house because I wanted to give my baby the best of everything.
We got married in December, 2011 and we were happy together. She is from Akwa Ibom while I am a Yoruba man. I work on the island and I only go home on weekends due to the bad road but I was always in touch with her. She gave birth on the 20th of April 2012 to a baby boy. The birth came with a lot of complications which exhausted my savings; I spent close to 700k even though we used a state hospital. And she spent 2 months in the hospital to show how difficult the birth was. And that was the beginning of our problems.
It all started when her mother came for omugwo and she was about to go, when she was around, she ate whatever she wanted, despite the fact that I was broke then and her daughter was doing nothing. And when it was time for her to go, she counted the cost of all their traditional rites and gave me a bill of 80k but I begged her and told her to manage 30k pending when things become better. That was in 2012. After she left, my wife started showing her true self. I found out some baby cloths she bought for my son were actually gifts from one of her siblings but she made me pay for them, despite the fact that I was short of cash. I confronted her and she apologized and promised it won't happen again but the trust I had for her, had reduced.
Second, she brought a lady to my house during a festive period and told me it was her distance relation. I asked why she was absent in our wedding, she said the lady was not around then but I later found out she was her “ex-sister”. I spent money on the lady while she was with us, so I was angry when I found out the truth. All this reduced my trust for her but I love her dearly because she gave me one of the smartest boys that ever lived.
What eventually broke the camel’s back was when she finished her ND, then, the baby was small, so I encouraged her to try her hands on something since she knows how to mix body scrubs. She got a male customer through a friend and the guy started patronizing her and I was the first person to help her supply the guy. Later I started seeing some nasty messages from the guy and the messages were so nasty that I could not take it anymore, I called her attention to it, and she blocked the guy immediately. I felt relieved thinking I had quenched the fire that was about to burn my home.
Fast forward to 2016 January, I got her a decent job in Ikoyi, this made her come home thrice a week, so we hired a house help to look after our son. We both agreed not to have any more children until we are more comfortable, though we are comfortable. Then the unthinkable happened when I found out she was making secret calls and her phone was passworded. They gave her a phone in the office but she didn’t let me know about the phone. I discovered she wasn't careful with the phone but I didn’t know that was the line she was using to chat with the guy whom I thought she had lost contact with. Mind you my height and stature is the same with that of the rheumatoid guy but he is not as comfortable as I am. And he is married with kids, his family lives in another state, and they speak the same language.
As time went on she started misbehaving seriously and did not care about the home anymore. First, she stopped praying with us as a family and this happened to be the period when my work was so demanding that I usually come home on Saturdays and go back on Sunday evenings. But I still tried my best as a father and a husband by coming home late on Sunday to drive her to work on Monday morning. The quarrel became frequent. I forgot to mention that when we had a quarrel over these issues, she broke our family TV and smashed my pad and it costed me a lot to replace these items.
As time went on she started misbehaving seriously and did not care about the home anymore. First, she stopped praying with us as a family and this happened to be the period when my work was so demanding that I usually come home on Saturdays and go back on Sunday evenings. But I still tried my best as a father and a husband by coming home late on Sunday to drive her to work on Monday morning. The quarrel became frequent. I forgot to mention that when we had a quarrel over these issues, she broke our family TV and smashed my pad and it costed me a lot to replace these items.
Precisely on the 8th of June last year she came back from church and decided to provoke me by throwing insults at me in the presence of our house help, and I have warned her against this. We argued and I picked my car keys and left for work. When I returned around 10 p.m, I realized there was no food on the table for me and my cloth was left unattended to. I called her attention to this, but she shunned me.
On Monday morning we proceeded to work with her elder sister who lives close to us and works on the island as well. I decided to report her to her sister, since they are blood sisters and I could not handle her excesses anymore. Her sister talked to her and I thought it was settled but to my dismay she didn't come home that day and she couldn't be reached either. After 2 weeks she came home but I was not around. She picked my boy, the house help and the new family TV I bought and disappeared. I told her sister and she advised me to invite her mum, some of her siblings, and my family members, which I did. Mind you our pastors have also intervened but she has adamantly refused to come back home and it has been more than a year now.
I recently found out that she actually moved to the married man’s house though I was able to take my son from her.
I need people to advise me over this issue, and I also want to know if this is how marriage works. There was a time I was broke and I told her to help out with the part payment of our rent for the first time in 6 years but she refused. After sacrificing a lot for her, she ended up treating me this way. I have not been able to get over it since then. And I find it difficult to date.
Since I took the boy from her in December, she has never ask about the boy and to be very sincere, all our years together I never cheated on her for once even when I had the opportunity to do so. It is pathetic and I promised never to marry again as the experience was bad. Please help me re-arrange my mail because I typed it from my phone in the office. Thanks
On Monday morning we proceeded to work with her elder sister who lives close to us and works on the island as well. I decided to report her to her sister, since they are blood sisters and I could not handle her excesses anymore. Her sister talked to her and I thought it was settled but to my dismay she didn't come home that day and she couldn't be reached either. After 2 weeks she came home but I was not around. She picked my boy, the house help and the new family TV I bought and disappeared. I told her sister and she advised me to invite her mum, some of her siblings, and my family members, which I did. Mind you our pastors have also intervened but she has adamantly refused to come back home and it has been more than a year now.
I recently found out that she actually moved to the married man’s house though I was able to take my son from her.
I need people to advise me over this issue, and I also want to know if this is how marriage works. There was a time I was broke and I told her to help out with the part payment of our rent for the first time in 6 years but she refused. After sacrificing a lot for her, she ended up treating me this way. I have not been able to get over it since then. And I find it difficult to date.
Since I took the boy from her in December, she has never ask about the boy and to be very sincere, all our years together I never cheated on her for once even when I had the opportunity to do so. It is pathetic and I promised never to marry again as the experience was bad. Please help me re-arrange my mail because I typed it from my phone in the office. Thanks
Please knows the song AGT Angelica, Kechi and was Shania Twain sang together towards the conluding part. I also need the songs sang by Kechi too
ReplyDeleteMy help me out
You are so rude. With your head like crayfish. Is this the advise you can render to the issue above?
DeletePls I need someone with a heart of gold who knows any traditional fertility specialist in portharcourt to please drop her number or address here. Am desperately in need of it. Thank u
DeleteOga you married a calabar lady and you feel she will be okay with once a week fucking.
DeleteI don't think this lady really loved you. She was just looking for someone that will get her admission and take care of her.
Now she is stable and has a job she feels she doesn't need you.
Please move on. A woman that can stay 6momths and not look back without asking for her child is an irresponsible marriage.
She probably entered marriage early and now wants to have fun
Move on sir.
Anon 16:49 Calabar and Akwa Ibom aren't the same. Go and look at your map.
Delete@Anon 16.44, where do u stay?
Delete@ anonymous 16:44 20, Afikpo street mile 1
Delete07084168789 and 08140008819
Calabar and Akwa-Ibom is the same, just like Rivers and Bayelsa, Bauchi and Gombe... you get?
DeleteBy the way, cheating has nothing to do with tribe, it's a personality issue.
Oga your wife never loved you, you were more in love and more dedicated (from your story). She was just a young girl who needed help, you could have ended it there but i guess she is very beautiful and good in bed, so u couldn't imagine not having her for life. Unfortunately, she doesn't feel thesame way for/about you.
Please move on with your life cos even if you forgive her and bring her back home, she will not stop fucking that guy, SAD BUT TRUE!
Please move on
Your story is really pathetic, bad character is not exclusive to any gender. Dust yourself and move on, i pray you find someone that will change your mind set towards love
ReplyDeleteEayah you are really a good man. Most of these ladies like fuck fuck too much just like their men.
ReplyDeletePlease don't let what happened discouraged you from getting happiness from another woman
Oga, you are suffering from heart break, it hurts from the pit of your stomach and leaves a stab in your heart, but my dear such is life, not everyone will appreciate you. If you did not do your part they will say you are wicked, she has moved on please do the same, you don’t have to start dating right away or else you may be harsh to the next person. Heal, take care of your son, when she’s filled she will look for him.
DeleteHow long ago did you say she packed out and you last saw her? I feel that there’s more to the story. (I’m by the way not saying her actions were good or even ok but you sound too perfect even in the midst of her constant ingratitude. I feel things were garnished a bit and other things were ommitted..... just my thought). With all you’ve listed up there, no one should even have to tell you to move on. I feel like you got the child so that she can come back looking for him and you can thereby punish her for whatever you felt she did to you. She hasn’t even surfaced and you can’t rest because the opportunity to “show her” isn’t materializing. You need to first be honest with yourself and accept whatever faults you had in that marriage. Then identify her faults and consciously decide to forgive yourself and let her go - punishment or no punishment. Let her go so you can move on. I know you keep saying you love her etc but I can see it all over your post, you’re stuck on vengeance-mode and not getting the opportunity to deny her of her son is eating you up. Be honest with yourself, let it all go, get a divorce if you’re legally married and move on with your life. You fought to get your son back, take proper care of him, don’t use him as a pun in your revenge mission. You say you can’t date again but once you free yourself of the hurt, anger, bitterness and the need for revenge; you’ll leave room for a better relationship to blossom. Just make sure you’re honest with yourself first......... Just Me
DeleteHow long ago did you say she packed out and you last saw her? I feel that there’s more to the story. (I’m by the way not saying her actions were good or even ok but you sound too perfect even in the midst of her constant ingratitude. I feel things were garnished a bit and other things were ommitted..... just my thought). With all you’ve listed up there, no one should even have to tell you to move on. I feel like you got the child so that she can come back looking for him and you can thereby punish her for whatever you felt she did to you. She hasn’t even surfaced and you can’t rest because the opportunity to “show her” isn’t materializing. You need to first be honest with yourself and accept whatever faults you had in that marriage. Then identify her faults and consciously decide to forgive yourself and let her go - punishment or no punishment. Let her go so you can move on. I know you keep saying you love her etc but I can see it all over your post, you’re stuck on vengeance-mode and not getting the opportunity to deny her of her son is eating you up. Be honest with yourself, let it all go, get a divorce if you’re legally married and move on with your life. You fought to get your son back, take proper care of him, don’t use him as a pun in your revenge mission. You say you can’t date again but once you free yourself of the hurt, anger, bitterness and the need for revenge; you’ll leave room for a better relationship to blossom. Just make sure you’re honest with yourself first......... Just Me
DeleteOga forget that woman and move on with your life
ReplyDeleteShe will soon come back with one sob story after her lover must have dumped her
Imagine not asking after her child for so long
So she chased out the man's wife and kids or she left her home to scatter another woman's home?
They are made for each other. Two wicked people
The way I am seeing all this chronicles is like some women prefer men who are irresponsible and also beat them on top of it,it's like the man she left you for is just good in bed so just MOVE ON it is easier too say but she doesn't love you and maybe not satisfied with a responsible man
DeletePlease move on with your life. It's only the beautiful product you both owe each other. Take care of it and be happy. Best of luck
ReplyDeleteEyaaaah, na wa ooooo
ReplyDeleteHope your boy is fine sha??? God will help you raise him!!!
Which pastors actually "intervene" for you guys without telling you that fornication/sex before marriage is a sin?
DeleteSo they should kill the child because he was conceived pre wedding?
DeleteAbeg carry your holy self go one corner!
Abeg go sit down Are they not married now Alika..oga you really sound Nice and caring o, why you come meet this kind devil wife, please move-on and keep an eyes on Son.. give Love a chance All will be well..
DeleteLife will humble her and she will learn the hard way. Let her go!!
ReplyDeleteTake care of your boy, hopefully you meet someone deserving and if your ex returns send her back to her father's house. She's bad news.
Move on with your life and don't ever accept her back,she doesn't deserve you,give love another chance.
DeleteDont worry, She Will Comeback Begging
ReplyDeleteJezzz.. Umu nnwanyi Calabar bu ikpu egbara! She followed the guy because of gbenshing.
ReplyDeleteOga return her dowry and move on. I'm happy a Yoruba man wrote this kind of chronicle
Someone clearly stated Akwa ibom, you said Calabar. How silly.
DeleteThey are all the same. Ndi nmowu!
DeleteOga boss, as a man, you gave your wife too much leaverage and grounds.
ReplyDeleteThis should serve as a serious lesson to other unmarried young men. You give woman wey you put for house a yard, she will take a mile. It's in their nature. I won't go into detail about how you messed up because no time for that and no need. All you gats to do now is move on. She is already after the next conquest, your game is too small for her already.
Take heart bro.......#okbye
Mba, he would have locked her in a cage
DeleteWoman wey you put for house indeed
Kitikpo lacha kwa gi anya there
Anumanu
As you buy wedding rings, also buy whips and chains inugo?
Ozu nwuru anwu
Na your type woman dey feed for house sef
Idiat!
Chai, see insult. NNE, take am easy.
Delete
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂,ogini @RSQ,ife nka king delu ewegi ncha.
Do you have any personal issues with King? His reasoning is myopic but your insults are just too much.
DeleteHis or her reasoning. Because many women are kings these days.
DeleteMeanwhile oga move on with your life. Your marriage has ended unless you are willing to accept her when she comes back to her senses. They always do men and women when their juices have been sucked dry. It is well with you and your boy.
@king nwuru anwu...upper cut👊👊 lower cut 👊 take slap👋👋👋
DeleteStop sounding like a frustrated midget
@ retired slay queen, no mind am. his will end up training another man's children on top of all his controlling behavior. u people think women don't have sense
DeleteBut @king is right. I thought same too. It's not good to cage a woman, but not many women manage freedom well.
DeleteLmaooo @RSQ u are mouthed biko😂 ife nkea ewegbuo gi..
Delete@Chikito-chikitoto......I sight you. Your bromance this evening is well acknowledged and most reciprocated. King Miyake buries the hatchet.
DeleteAs for the other anonymouses and sundry, I only reply sensible comments. Not everybody that can read and write that has internet and can use phone are worth abusing.
Hmm poster I feel pity for you just same way I feel for my BIL
DeleteMy sis ran away from her matrimonial home with her son and house help to where a married man rented a flat for her
Someone that is nothing compared to her husband
She was jazzed. We don't know where she is right now
It's been a spiritual battle and I know God will always win
Poster, dust yourself off and try again. Love is out there for you
Oga lets say you caused it by getting her a job in Ikoyi, you would have left her in Ikorodu. She is expose now , so she felt that she is missing sometrhings. But I do not know what she saw in the other man that will make her abondon her son? This na real waaa. Meanwhile you can get a side chick while you await her return
ReplyDeleteSmh
DeleteCaused it how?by wanting a better life for his wife biko don't even say that
DeleteNow I know that your foolishness no get part 2...get a side chick indeed and also getting a better job for ones wife is a sin now abi?
Delete@ Whatever, you're just empty. I hope you won't hand down this terrible character to your kids
DeleteThere is always two sides to a story but if things truly happened the way you narrated it , I will advice you to end things with her legally, move on with your life because it seems she has done the same. She can only come back when her married live in lover throw her out.
ReplyDeleteDon’t let her use as a second best.
I agree with you that there is always two sides to a story, but what on earth will make a mother not ask after her child after one or two years. I will like to say I believe the man's story until I hear otherwise. A woman is supposed to show respect and be submissive to her husband. Gosh, I have heard so many stories about women from that part of the country and this is one of it. It is well dear poster and God will send you a woman that will make you believe in love again. I believe true love does exist. Its a pity though, I am equally separated and I was all I could be to the man I married and bore a son for. I assisted him, was submissive and respectful to him and his family. I had like five of his family members living with me, solely took care of them, myself, my son my maid and the home front without anything from him and it wasn't like he ddnt have the means to take care of us. He just never bothered, I got tired and left with my son. He never believed I could leave. Being a single parent was not what I ever wished for myself, but a whole lot happened that I tried to tolerate but just couldn't anymore. I still believe in love and I know my own man will find me one day. Poster if indeed you were a good man, you will be vindicated. It is well! It wont be easy to move on ooo, if you deeply and truly loved her, but heyy life goes on. You will be fine.
Delete“Gosh I have heard many stories from women from that part of the country....”
DeleteMadam Anon, you spoilt your tale with this singular line. A bad wife is not synonymous with any tribe. It is person-dependent!! I age. Also heard many tales of similar behavior from Yoruba women, Igbo women, Edo women, Kalabari women, Hausa women, Nupe women, Name it!!! Your man that treated you the way he did, was it because of where he is from? Would you now say people from his place are like that? Two of my brothers married ‘Calabar’, I know how our family was against them, now they’re the best of our wives.... I just hate to hear such statements!
“Gosh I have heard many stories from women from that part of the country....”
DeleteMadam Anon, you spoilt your tale with this singular line. A bad wife is not synonymous with any tribe. It is person-dependent!! I age. Also heard many tales of similar behavior from Yoruba women, Igbo women, Edo women, Kalabari women, Hausa women, Nupe women, Name it!!! Your man that treated you the way he did, was it because of where he is from? Would you now say people from his place are like that? Two of my brothers married ‘Calabar’, I know how our family was against them, now they’re the best of our wives.... I just hate to hear such statements!
Hmmmmmmmmmm this is really a pathetic one, dear Poster pls try to move on but make sure the marriage is properly dissolved by returning the bride price and legally divorce her,also find a psace in your heart to forgeive her, then move on.
ReplyDeleteYou can heal by mixing with people, go to function, take away all the things that can remind you of her in the house, even if its to relocate from the area, delete her no and block any means of seeing the traces of her.
Sorry i have to be tribalistic , Try to date sumone of your tribe incase it will lead to marriage.take your time and see watever you did for her as its meant to be.
Trust me beautiful ladies and all over looking for hardworking men.
lastly do not date a lady that is not doing anytin, either shes into business or shes working.
everything will be alright .
Dear Anonymous,
DeleteFor a while, you made sense; but you messed everything up with the tribal sentiment. People of same tribe also have marital issues- infidelity, irresponsibility, et al
Dear Poster,
May God grant you wisdom on the best action to take.
File for a divorce and move on with your life. Make sure that court gives you custody of your child. Try to love again.
ReplyDeleteAkwa ibom/calabar ladies don't stay in their husbands house especially if they're married to people outside their tribe.Mr poster just move on and search for happiness else where.
ReplyDeleteI'm in my husband's house. I'm from Akwa Ibom my husband is Yoruba. This your analysis is wrong .11 years and counting...
DeleteThey do. They soooo do. On the condition that they have to love you.
DeleteThe problem is that because they are very hospitable, most men from other tribes mistake such levels of hospitality for love. Old trick they (or should I say we) use when we want to get something from a man - money, child, support, etc. Why do you think people are usually all afraid of 'calabar' women? In those days your husband will have 2nd wife and/or more children if he is posted to calabar for work. We will coin anyone to a corner, if we mean it. No jazz like some other tribes! Just old tricks.
So you are Calabar? 😳.. sorry Mr. Teflon, as a Warri boy I must clear your leg for this matter..
DeleteThis is not how marriage works ? That's the answer to your question. Divorce is allowed when a woman cheat on you. N is clear she is sleeping with that man. Divorce her and move on for your sanity. All women are not thesame and there are lots of women out there looking for a good man. Forget all you ever did for her n be on the look out for your real wife.
ReplyDeleteDivorce is allowed when ONE partner cheats on the other! #beguided
Deleteso sorry for your predicament. some women are ingrates and dont appreciate. take your time before you open your heart to another lady. She wasnt matured and have not experience much of life when you started dating her, thats why she is doing like this.
ReplyDeleteYoruba would say, Oge ti kose ni gba ti koyi marry, lon se ni sin.
Dont take her back whem she realises her mistakes.
Hmmmmmmm. So pathetic. But try and move on. She will come begging
ReplyDeleteYou should fill for divorce first, to have full custody of the boy, the court will grant that, your relationship life, I really have noting to say on that. Than to cheer on, shit happen but life still goes on, pick up the remain of your life and move on.
ReplyDeletePoster, don't feel bad. the most important thing is that you have your son with you. If she can forget her son then yours is a small issue. Forget about the incidence and move on. Very unfortunate that cool guy always met wayward women.
ReplyDeleteOga move on with your life you will be fine OR you watch war room, pray and drink Lucille coconut oyel...😀😁 #najokeoh
ReplyDeleteBrace up man and move on.
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't want to do again. Move on. By the way, I don't understand quarrelling with your wife and expecting to come home to food on the table. As in...it's not a restaurant
ReplyDeleteThought no one noticed that line, well poster you sound very domineering and too possessive. Let her go, look for a hobby you enjoy doing to help take your mind off her.
DeleteMumuuu talk. Mtchewww, see ya mouth. I'm sure you're a lady.
DeleteAre you for real?it would be a shame if you are a lady and you typed this rubbish
DeleteTaaa. Women that their husbands beat at home and they still beg him will now come online and be forming warriors.
DeleteOga work hard and make plenty money
ReplyDeleteFile for divorce and move on
If possible change your house and take very good care of your son. And yourself too. Life is too short to pick beans
Oh no, this is sad,I'm really speechless .in this era when people are trying to save their marriages,someone is throwing 6 years to the mud.poster your wife wants to be with someone from the same tribe,he must have brainwashed her.my advice for you is to move on with your kids and give them a better life.
ReplyDeleteGod I need my own sweetheart please.
ADA LAGOS
Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteMarriage tire me.no gender is spared.
oga move on and divorce her properly.
This may seem difficult but i'll advice you forget about her and move on. Focus on your child and career, clear your mind of this pain and let sweet love find you.
ReplyDeleteIt is well bro.
Please just concentrate on your self and your son.Soldier go soldier cone back but when soldier comes back don't take her back,shikina
ReplyDeleteTake Heart poster. If you are yet to divorce her, please do.
ReplyDeleteGet yourself together and move on with your son. She was never ready for marriage when she became pregnant. She never loved you enough to stay .
You Shall meet a good lady who would restore your faith in marriage.
I can't even imagine how a woman will leave a man that has shown her much love & care to go be with a lesser man. Hey man she doesn't deserve you. Forget her for real, move on & take care of your son. Don't allow her access to your son. By the time her stupidity & foolishness will end she will come crawling when it is already too late. She's a gutter woman.Ashawo
ReplyDeletePoster I'm so sorry about your predicament. This life is so ironic. Good guys always seem to end up with mean chicks... Same with good girls. We can only hope that fate and God leads us to our soul mate. Please move on. I hope this experience gives you a hard edged drive to build up yourself. Make more money, boost your conference, polish up yourself and have a social life....(gals love that s#!+) Then watch in humour as she crawls back... Don't take her back but be polite. And Don't stop being good.. All the best!
Delete#shyartsygal#
Oga you forgot to tell us the part where you beat her numerous times and where your people made her uncomfortable as well as the times she complained to you that you could come home more regular but you choose not to.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know this?abi do you leave with them or you think some women ain't capable of things like this
DeleteOr the part where he came home at 10pm at night expecting food and his laundry done. God sake if you are coming home that late, please eat dinner before coming.
DeleteAlso mentioned coming home once a week and she was living somewhere else too and coming home once or twice a week. Your son was left with a house help for at least 5days in a week, there was no marriage to begin with
Sir , am short of words but to be sincere,,I see no reason why you should kill ursef over unnecessary issue..please take good care of that bundle of joy given to u by God,forget about her and wait for God to do the rest...
ReplyDeleteI don't know about others,as for me,that's final,accepting her apology is a no no
Mc pinky
A woman who will not ask after her child is strong. You do not want to force her to come back for yours and the childs safety. Please focus on healing your heart and taking care of your boy. Do not bad mouth his mother in front of him. God will give you the grace to parent him at this time. Help him with his confidence so he does not ever feel a certain way about his mother leaving. Some people are unbelievable with their nonsense.
ReplyDeleteShe is a very foolish woman... Anyways I don't want to judge because it is always good to hear from both parties.
ReplyDeleteForget her and continue to live your life, that can't stop you from getting married. She used her hands to park her things so you are free to re-marry.
Pls move on with your life and forget about her. Keep your son away from her
ReplyDeleteYu really deserve all d happiness in d world as yu have tried to make things work out but she doesn't. Get yourself a maid that would be taking care of your boy, do stuffs that can make yu happy,find yourself a girlfriend, atleast sm1 who's smart and educated that yu know can make yu happy and please don't close having a relationship cos of d previous one. Since she refused coming bck,take your family to return her bride price if yu paid for it cos I didn't see yu mention that and live your life to d fullest.
ReplyDeleteHer bride price was paid to the last kobo
DeleteThe greatest mistake you will make is to accept her if she ever come back.... She will kill you.
ReplyDeleteMove on with your life, stop brooding over a woman, there are many women out there.
@ Poster please take good care of your son and move on with your life, a day will surely come when she will resurface with one SOB story then you will take your decision. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteTheir are so many ungrateful and horrible people out there, we all need to be careful about the people we choose to live the rest of our lives with But I hope this your story is true and you are not your own faults in the union...Oga move on with your life and soon love will find you again.
ReplyDeleteLEP😛
Jesu!!! I am so ashamed to call my sef an akwa ibom babe after reading this chronicle. All my life this is the first time I am reading this kinda rubbish and evil by an akwaibom lady. Kai I feel for you, for a moment I believe u when u said u have never cheated on her but that is by the way sha. What surprises me the most is the fact that u are a Yoruba guy self aaaaargh. Oga borrow ur sef sense and divorce that woman asap. If u were my brother I will have landed you correct slap that will reset ur brain then apologize later. Abi she wash give u ni? Bcoz a lot of Ibibio girls can do that thing a lot. You need to loose your sef from the hold of that evil Ungrateful daughter of the devil.
ReplyDelete@number1. Correct talk. So you be Eyen-eka? is good to know.
DeleteHmmm... what if this isn't the truth?
Deletehe kinda painted the lady bad and himself good... in fact very good. He understands SDK blog readers and women leaders have issues with men and infidelity....wait for it..... he ends the story by saying he has never cheated on her....
I find something wrong with this story. She left with her son; she didn't abandon the boy. He went and collected the boy from her... maybe embarrassed and threatened her.. probably denied her access to her son.. now he paints her as the world's worst mother on earth.
Something just doesn't add up.
Thank you ooo, that was something I noticed about the man, and almost everyone who comes here to ask for advice .
DeleteAlways painting themselves like a saint but others like demons, forgetting that for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction.
Poster you are a Yoruba man, so I believe you know this adage" someone who hears one side of the story and judges, is the worst person there is", so based on that I refuse to advise You.
I am sure you have your own in your body for her not to come back for her child as a mother that she is.
You can't be all nice yourself, am sure there are some things you left out.
I felt you were trying to make it look like without you she wouldn't have amounted to anything in life.
You had to mention her poor grade and how you sent her to school by furnishing her apartment with pots and pans and bedspread I suppose, because you admitted she paid her school fees herself, who knows maybe you remind her all the time of how she was a church rat before you met and thanks to you for being there she would have been zero, who knows?.
You said she "insisted on keeping the baby and I agreed" not "we" both insisted, does that mean you weren't in support at the onset?.
Well I don't know just trying to look at it from another angle for in all this you had not even one single fault, and am like how come?.
E no wash put anything! If she wash put he would not be financially stable. The guy na lagos hustler, e come meet woman with those our manhandling tricks to cool his temper down. Ordinary student see babe for him brother neighbourhood, his life changed course for good. Started picking bills. Heheh
DeleteHeheheheheh @chiki I don't know what to say. But that woman do him shege sha.
Deleteyou said it yourself...a Calabar woman
ReplyDeleteMeaning?????
DeletePlease move on, mostly people change when their level change I guess she now have a job so her taste of men change too.
ReplyDeleteAnd she forgot her husband got that job for her.
DeleteHello Poster, so sorry to read your story. I understand how you feel now about marriage but time will heal you. You will get married again and this time it will be peaceful and beautiful. Don't let anybody change who you are.
ReplyDeleteOga let her be. She's not worthy of your love and attention and frankly speaking she deserves to be with the man who chased out his wife to accommodate her.
ReplyDeleteThere are still good women out there though I know that your wife have wrecked your psyche over that.
I suggest you relocate to the island since there's nothing tying you to ikorodu anymore and to save your self the stress. Get a small self con and find a school with after school hours for your son. File for custody and have all your facts intact so that the courts can award you full custody for your child. You can ask a female family member to stay with you to help your case...no matter what you do don't allow her go with your son because she's likely to treat him anyhow based on the whims and desires of her new lover to avoid stories that touch.
Forgive her not because she deserves it but so that you can move on and feel lighter within yourself.
Life happens...move on and pepper her with your success and happiness because I have the feeling that the yeye man shacking her now will so deal with her and that she will come back with crocodile tears and insincere apologies.
Thanks.I have relocated to island already as the shame was
DeleteThis is just my fear about marriage..marrying the wrong person.
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't like judging without hearing from both side,I wish she's here to tell us her own side of story.Anyway poster, move on
ReplyDeleteThis is on a side note; You said you came back from work and your food was not on the table, right? Oga this is 2018 not 1840. How about going to the kitchen and dishing out your food. Again, your clothes were unattended to, brother please don't make me laugh. Like seriously! I guess she used to help with your clothes and food and then you let hell loose because of that one day.
ReplyDeleteOga your wife is not your maid. Please hurry up to 2018.
Other than that the afore-mentioned, you did nothing wrong in your marriage. You sound like a good man. I recommend you return her bride price and continue to take good care of your son. God will bless you with a woman after your heart ok.
BANK
Why dont I feel sorry for this poster? U were coming home from work for a couple of days. She was coming home for a couple of days from work. Where were both of you sleeping on the days you did not bother to go home? So you both had a second home closer to your work place?
ReplyDeleteI believe there is more to this story and you have painted yourself in good light. I did this for her, I did that for her, I bought her Polytechnic form, I rented house and furnished for her but u were not living in the same house with her. Biko where were u living?
U spent 800k on hospital bills.... She did this, she did that. U nko? Which one did u do? I will reserve my comment until I hear her side of the story.
As u have collected your son from her what next? U want her back? Abi u r smarting that another man (Supposedly) wants her? U men know how to hang the cheating tag on a woman when u r actually the one doing all the cheating. (I am talking from experience - that ishow my husband attempted to hang cheating tag on me only for me to discover he had a side chick for the past 4 years and wanted to marry her so he said I was cheating as an excuse to divorce me but God disgraced him big time).
Oga reconcile with your wife. If you do not want to, ask for divorce and move on. Or better still, watch war room, pray and fast that God will change her heart and she will come back. Dress up good and look good for her. Do midnight fast and prayer too while u r at it. Shikena!
You've said it all. Exactly my sentiment
DeleteOnly a fool will judge when he has not heard the other side(s) of the story. Wife can come now and tell us something entirely different.
ReplyDeleteSince you have custody of that boy, treat him very well. If you remarry, find someone who will treat your son as her own. No need for unnecessary talk.
Omg why do good men meet horrible people and vice versa, gosh!
ReplyDeleteSome people can't recognize a good thing even if it slaps them on the face. Oga na so o, most AK women that marry out of their tribe still find a way to fuck around with a man from their tribe! Na their way!
until you men know how to give your significant others the attention and affection they crave they will keep cheating
ReplyDeleteOga take your time to heal before thinking of moving on to another woman. Get legal custody of your son first. Work hard and establish yourself. It will take a while to regain trust in another woman but don't take out your heartbreak and pain on them. Find a well educated, established God fearing woman who will appreciate you. Men sometimes like training a woman up so they can control and dominate them in a negative way. They say the first cut is the deepest. She was probably your first love and her betrayal will be devastating. For the sake of your heart and your son, give it time, forgive her and move on.
ReplyDeleteOga I can see that you love this babe badly,you will find it hard to love again just like me, I also faced similar problem with you but my marriage did not last up to a year, no pikin, guy man has gone his own way to date his babe the one he was cheating with on me, me I don't even want to hear I live you or I want to marry you from any man, those words just bring out the beast in me, love,marriage,relationship is not by force, if a person does not want to be with you if you like kill yourself they will still never love you, I will advise you love your self more, put all the love you had or still have on that lady on your son, you are lucky you have something tangible from this marriage a son than me that wasted all my money, time, integrity,patient,love and got nothing. Am so broken that I can't even see anything good in a man anymore, trust is destroyed, I pray I heal completely from this mess, is not easy to love,invest on people you are married to and they treat you like trash, do not go back to her, does not worth you, nice on with your life,let God and your son give you comfort. May love find you someday, may you be happy, may money fall on you, focus on how to make money,let her be with her new guy, someday she will regret it. Am picking up my little pieces, trying to mend it, trying to start afresh, the shame, disgrace, disappointment, waste of money, time is something one cannot replace. What can I do than to move on? I pray you find strength in your son, give me some kisses for me.
ReplyDeleteLook at a woman with a good man and she is messing up, God what did you not exchange this man with mine to this woman? Sorry if am getting emotional over your issues, I was just unlucky with my marriage, I pray you will love again as me has crossed my mind, heart never to love again, I don't even know if I will ever marry again, cos the last time I checked marriage is not for the weak, am already weak,take it easy, God will soon lift you higher.
Anon 18:08 stop asking God for what you cannot carry. You have no idea what the wife actually faced. Don't believe everything you read on social media. As for your case, when you have finished grieving, learn your lesson, pick yourself up, dust yourself and next time use your brains rather than your emotions. Most times people see the signs and ignore them, then later cry wolf. Don't worry, you can get a better man if you don't fall for another low life.
DeleteYou can overcome this experience. Ask God to show you the way. Let go the woman. Your true one is on the way. Di not let this expwrience block your blessings. Remember, you can overcome this experience and grow from it.
ReplyDeleteStay blessed!
True one kini? He should work on being a true man first. Abeg e don do make I commot from this yeye chronicle.
DeletePoster.....please, try to have a talk with her to see if there's still a chance to safe your marriage. If after this she didn't come back then move on.
ReplyDeleteif this girl show up in your life tomorrow, you will still take her back but that will be your biggest mistake.
ReplyDeleteYou're the one loving the girl, she never love you. Move on and live your life. and never look back.
Poster for some reason, which I will deliberately not highlight, I don't believe you. I am with the very few that saw the holes in your story. You come off to me as a seasoned manipulator that is used to telling tales. Well done sir. You look so responsible and speak so well so you are used to making people believe you, abi? Why have you come here for advice, you have your son, and your life and you are free to divorce. Your ego needs to be stroked abi? Narcissist. Those who come under to abuse me, poster included, all I will say is return to sender. This poster ain't no saint. Poster you are shocked abi, hehehehe. Some of us can see through the stunts some of you come to pull here. I bet your wife is happy to be free of you. Tueh!
ReplyDeleteOga pls u need closure.. Try I mean try very hard to get over her...even if it means locking yourself up and recall all the things dat happened, read your bible then and find that inner peace and strength and cry if u feel like crying... Also try to get involved in some physical activities and try to do dat in a group
ReplyDelete