STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MALICE KEEPING HUSBAND
Pls make una help me ooo, my so called husband is always keeping malice on small issues. We are never happy, 7 out of 30 days in a month is the only time we are happy, the remaining days are for misunderstandings and quarrels and malice keeping.
Pls make una help me ooo, my so called husband is always keeping malice on small issues. We are never happy, 7 out of 30 days in a month is the only time we are happy, the remaining days are for misunderstandings and quarrels and malice keeping.
At the end he makes me feel I am the one that offends him even though he was the one that offended me, I had to end up begging as usual, most part of our marriage has been begging and malice. No reasonable thing to talk about except apologising on little issue that shouldn't call for quarrel. Presently I am not working, lost my job and most job I have done is always from one insult to another when going to work, I end up not been productive at work:
I ventured into biz, he collected all the money and said he can't be introducing me to people and be telling them his wife is into business, he made sure the biz collapsed, I got another job again, he even called my boss and told them to excuse me from there job if they dont want problem. Now I am sitting at home, na insult that I don't have any impact and that I haven't used my life to achieve anything.
I am tired and frustrated, he drained me till I have nothing left without me knowing. I want to leave but I need advice from you all. We have just a child. He is a manipulative man that makes everyone believes whatever he says about me. Pls help me with advice.
NB: he wasn't like this when we were courting at all, he was loving and allowed me take decisions myself, he gave me free hand but now, I can't even wear what I like or makeup.
NB: he wasn't like this when we were courting at all, he was loving and allowed me take decisions myself, he gave me free hand but now, I can't even wear what I like or makeup.
*Na wah oh......Or what could be the reason for his changing like this?you want to leave?just like that without finding out why he changed?I advice you to try all in your power to find out why things are the way they are...Initiate conversation please...let leaving be your last option if you have tried all...
Wooh.. Walk out..
ReplyDeletePeople are now walking out...
What Ku?
Everybody rush to post anything, were you blind while dating before you agreed to marry him.
ReplyDeleteLadies rush into marriage just to please or spite society and later claim victim....abegiii
You are a Complete fool, I guess your glasses isn't working well for you not to see where she wrote that he wasn't behaving like that in courtship. Ewu onye onchi
DeleteWhy is common English so hard to comprehend. Did you not read where she said he wasn't like that whilst they courted? SMH for this generation. Just rushing to comment and bash the poster. For the most part, what I read from commenters here on SDK Chronicles is very discouraging. She only shared to find solace and hear our thoughts on her problem, and not to receive bashing. We all are humans, we make mistakes, but yet we need that listening ear when it all goes wrong.
DeleteYou're obviously mad. Didn't you see where she said he wasn't like that when they were dating? Rushing to comment without reading. Shioor
DeleteMarriage no be small thing ooo
ReplyDeleteO Jesus fix it for this poster..
@ Poster you are marrying yourself period. Who does that.
DeleteThe man you call horseband is a wicked man,very selfish man.
Please go for counselling and talk to his family about his behaviour. Sit him down and have a Heart to heart talk with him.Let him tell you the reason for his bad behaviour lately..
May God see you thru poster..
Mtcheww, you are the one that allowed him, from your chronicle, keeping malice isn’t his major problem, how can your own hubby not want to see you progress? Like he just likes you stagnant, I hate manipulative people, don’t you think you need a break and let him decide if he still wants you.
DeleteGo and watch ENOUGH by Jennifer Lopez. Then you'll understand that your hubby is a psycho!
DeleteNothing to fix here! He is a dusty man! Dust his ass and leave the damn marriage!
DeleteYou didn't marry your friend poster. The love phase has passed nothing to hold onto anymore that's why it's now hard.
ReplyDeleteI think you should try to find out why he behaves the way he does. Start from there.
Hmmm...manipulators! Lord, I thank you. I think you should seek counseling maybe from your religious leader. Just exhaust all possible options of saving your marriage (but don't die in the process) and if it doesn't work, do what you have to do.
ReplyDeleteJesus fix this.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what my sister has been suffering for almost 20 years.. She has become a shadow of her self due to too much restrictions on her life.
ReplyDeleteNot allowed to have friends, no makeup/clothes of her choice,not allowed to have a job,not allowed to travel,not allowed to laugh loudly with a visitor(maybe a family member)..yea..It is that serious.
And so many other ridiculous laws.
Her dreams,career,ambitions,laughter,hope...all forcefully taken away from her.
All for marriage? She is no longer living. My aunt experienced this for 40 something years marriage. But it's late for her to walk away now.
DeleteAnd what's she still doing in that marriage?
DeleteHahaha sorry I had to laugh, but is this one marriage or prison? I love my Hapiness in this life mehn, I hate being sad, this kind of men can never be for me
DeleteI am living this right now. he is extremely manipulative and tries to invent fake or exaggerated illnesses to get sympathy from me, when i don't give into his schemes. Told his parents and his mother said endure for another 15 to 20 years and he will change. She said after all, i'm still going through the same with his father.
DeleteAnon 15"23 is your sister married to Prince Harry ? Which kind of living in bondage is that. Nonsense and ingredients.
DeleteLife is once and meant to be lived...Hian
Your sister married a sadist.
DeleteWhat endure for 15 to 20 years? Nigerians why do you do this to yourself? Is that you don’t like happiness or? I cannot understand for the life of me such marriages. Tueh!
DeleteIts as if na my story be this, to even think I just sent something similar but more complicated to Stella. Your own husband is better, mine is older than me and he uses so much authority on me like he owns me. I can't even have friends or go out. And he has millions of side chicks. I don't even know what advice I can give because I need advice myself. He gets jobs for other people but won't allow me work or do business. When you ask for money, na insult. He talks about respect and his age as if na that one go produce money. It is well. Planning on moving before I die but no savings or job. Just this morning I found out he is going on vacation with his girlfriend, coming back on Monday, left me with #500. I just dey plan on getting job without him knowing and moving out. His families and mine thinks I am enjoying because of the way he portrays himself.
ReplyDeletePoster, God will help, you call him to find out what the problem is, so as to know where your solution lies.
This thing called marriage. Na wa!
DeleteWow! Is the #500 in dollars?
DeleteWow wow!
DeletePeople of this world, manipulative & stingy .. damn!
Are you serious?Didnt you guys date?Babe,you are living in bondage ooo.
DeleteGod will help you only if you help your self. Una too like miracles even for simple things to do. The whites who brought this religion don't even believe in miracles anymore
DeleteMadam try as much as you can to amend your home. The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.
ReplyDeleteThis is a fake account. This opinion is certainly from a man not a woman. Who is behind this account?
DeleteThis advice right here is the reason why many women are with hbp and some are 6 feet below. Poster you wear the shoe and know where it pinches, if you want to leave that is your choice but please s get a job secretly so you have something to fall back too. Most sadist and narcissistic men first strip their partner of any form of financial empowerment so as to have power over them and start with the manipulation, lies, cheating, disrespect, and wickedness
DeleteStella forget about what change he's real self came to light after the wedding some people can pretend for Africa.
I really pity women the men of this generation are something else and the next is going to be worse many of you that are staying in abusive marriage whether emotional or otherwise you are only damaging your kids and the circle continues
This advice right here is the reason why many women are with hbp and some are 6 feet below. Poster you wear the shoe and know where it pinches, if you want to leave that is your choice but please get a job secretly so you can have something to fall back too. Most sadist and narcissistic men first strip their partner of any form of financial empowerment so as to have power over them and start with the manipulation, lies, cheating, disrespect, and wickedness.
DeleteStella forget about what change he's real self came to light after the wedding some people can pretend for Africa.
I really pity women, the men of this generation are something else and the next is going to be worse many of you that are staying in abusive marriage whether emotional or otherwise you are only damaging your kids and the circle will continue.
Cutest Pat,did you say she should amend her home?how?I am sure you will say by fasting and going to mountain every week to pray.Do you know that some people are actually enjoying their marriage?
DeleteStella the man might have been pretending all through courtship and just unleashed his real self in marriage. Some men do that. Poster pls involve both families and from there you can know the next step to take
ReplyDeleteI think I know this poster she sounds so much like onyinye Solomon Onyebuchi wife. Pele if you are the one the signs were there for you to see but you were moved because of money. Enjoy yourself.
ReplyDeleteAnd who are you?
DeleteOnyinye's hater, abi.
Don't allow yourself die of BITTERNESS!!!
Chioooo
DeletePoster, are you sure we are not married to the same man? Hahahaha. Have filed for a divorce sha. I cannot come and go and kill myself because i want to answer Mrs o.
ReplyDeleteThe heart of man is desperately wicked,please just try your best to know if that is who he was before,and if he isn't,then you need to know what caused it,just try sitting him down and talk heart to heart with him,I wish you the best....
ReplyDeleteLook for this book and read "The secret of family happiness".
ReplyDeleteThis kind husband sef.but why do men pretend a lot, they change immediately they marry their women. Your husband is so insecure & manipulative, he doesn't want other men seeing you & knowing your worth but maybe you can make him change little by little.
ReplyDeletePlz poster follow madam Stella's advice o. Try the conversation thing, if he doesn't respond to you call in someone/people he respects a lot like your pastor, parents,etc. If you still love him try make the love work for you. As long as he doesn't abuse you physically.
Some of you will be saying as long is not physically abusing you Mtchew abuse is abuse o infact emotionally abuse is worse because you will just dying slowly you. Some women have turn to shadow of themself because of emotional abuse.
DeleteYou don't know emotion abuse is worse. May your own husband do all the above and as long as there's no physical abuse stay put amen
DeleteMay God fix your home.
ReplyDeleteThings some people go through in their marriage nawah, just follow Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteReading comments here..smh.. Lord I sincerely thank you for my husband. 🙏
DeleteIt's shocking to see so many women edu ring same problem as the poster. Praying for God's intervention.
ReplyDeleteHahaha reason why I don't envy anybody. Hmm thank God o pls let me start appreciating my man o, I think i'm taking his love for granted before one shaprapra babe come appreciate pass me.
DeleteLolll what is shocking here? Most Nigerian women are enduring marriage na, that is common knowledge. They are just in it so people won't mock them that they are single, or for money or kids or just to 'feel among'. Living like strangers and shining teeth in public tryna act godly couple. There are happy marriages ofcourse but few. Most are just being held together by one aso ebi called 'what will people say'.
DeleteHandiwork of jealousy. Poster it's like you're too beautiful, you left somethings out of your narration. Is he providing for you and yours like really taking good care of you? If yes don't leave o, sacrifices is part of marriage just look for a business you can do from home. Pls don't stay idle even if he's giving you everything.
ReplyDeleteBut
If he's violent plus all you mentioned there, hold your ear 👂 RUN! Forget your shoes if you can't run with them, there's nothing to work out.
Did you not read the part where he left her only 500 Naira for the weekend? He singlehandedly pulled down the business she was running? please make unu they read before giving advice so as it to confuse an already confused person
DeleteAfter having the conversation with him, Start doing your business or look for work and do. Tell him your reason. The only thing /money that can make you happy in life is your thing or your money. Bone his side. If he wants to use head knack transformer, allow him.
ReplyDeleteI dislike people that are manipulative.
C
DeleteGod have mercy! Na wa o. Pls have a heart to heart talk with him and find out why his behavior changed. And knw what to do from there.
ReplyDeleteHmmm poster I can relate.see that was how my hubby behaved few mths after wedding..I was always begging & crying but i asked myself for how long will dis continue.NNE I didn't borrow brain o I developed brain.I'm not working too but I didn't allow him push me again.anytime he start that his attitude I forget him.I will play music & be dancing,dress fine& correct makeup.if he's in d parlour I go enter bedroom dey press my fone.dey receive imaginary calls & b laughing very loud.before u no it guy man don dey find my face.now I only apologize if I'm at fault & ask him to do same of he's at fault.we are partners not king and his subject.
ReplyDeleteGbam at your last line.
DeleteBarman give this woman double of anything she wants.
Too many retarded childish Nigerian men about that should be wearing diapers on their brain. Too many. I blame you women sha. Na una dey give them hand. They've subjugated you lot for so long and you have allowed yourselves to be subjugated.
My heart breaks to read so many comments of women going through the same situation. Ladies, marriage is not prison and no grown woman should have to endure such. My three yr old niece has more freedom than some of you have as married women in your own homes. I implore you all to separate if you have the immediate means and some place to immediately go. Some of you self-esteem is probably already on the floor so you believe you have no way out. Please speak with someone at a women's focused NGO or charity and see what kind of skills training you can take advantage of or safe house that you can move into. Never let a man tell you not to work, this is often a method of controlling you through poverty and dependency. Money is freedom and power, if you have no money of your own you have neither freedom nor power, as many of you now realize. Even God has given you complete freedom through free will so why should any man keep you in bandage? One of you wrote of your husband heading off for the holiday weekend with his lover while he left you with 500 Naira to make do with. I bet his woman on the side will be wined and dined and eat way more than 500 Naira of food and drink this weekend. That is complete wickedness. Some of you who will decide to endure will suffer until death. Please seek to the Goddesses and the divine feminine God energy for help. The divine mother will help you because she is female energy and she understands your plight. Get up and find your inner power and believe in yourself that everything you need to succeed is already within you. Tina Turner left Ike Turner in the middle of the night with barely any clothes on her back and not a penny to her name and she survived and made it even greater than she was with him. Believe in yourself!
ReplyDeletePlease what is godesses and divine feminine god? I need to add it to one of the ITK feathers on my cap. Thanks😁
DeleteChikito seems you are not a Catholic. She is referring to our mother Mary who intercedes for us.
DeleteIf the poster is a Catholic she can say a novena to her most pure heart begging her to intercede in her plight.
Stella, no need to find out why he changed. There is obviously no reason. This is the real him being made manifest. He was only waiting to get married to her before he shows up his controlling nature.
ReplyDeleteHow do you women do it, getting into a toxic relationship and staying put expecting a miracle to happen ?
ReplyDeleteThis is not love, this is no marriage but a prison.
I am currently experincing this in my marriage as we speak. Why are some men so wicked and manipulative. They just want to cage women in a box and make us dependent on them 100%. I am doing very well in my business carrier and now my husband wants a woman who is more at home. Even when you are more at home one day they will still insult you and say you are not adding value to the home. Now he is asking for a separation. If you guys here the flimsy excuses he is giving for wanting a separation, my pple you will laugh. Me I suspect there is a woman involved in this whole matter. I will see my parents this weekend to give them all the low down happening in my home and thereafter I can decide if to end this whole fiasco called marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou are still waiting to decide???
DeleteLol. Better leave the narruage and save yourself from high BP.
Na wa ooo. I'm not married o, but I can't take this bullshit even from boyfriend. Stop indulging these kind of men. They do it to those who can take it. When they are wit someone else, they will behave. Don't start what you can't finish. When you notice things like this, put them at their place. If you indulge them, it gets worse. My father married two wives. My mum indulged him, acting like a typical Nigerian wife, he disrespect my mum, yet my mum will apologize. He married second wife, and he even fears her. He shouts at her, she shouts at him. He insults her, she insults him. My father is actually scared of her now. Men looking for who will take their trash, when they know you can, they keep heaping it.
ReplyDeleteMummy Louder!!!!
DeleteI say LOUDER for the ones scratching buttocks at the door waiting for miracle to knock on her door and do something.
As in eh! The things I read on this blog sha.
DeleteThey will still come and ask mumu questions when they already know what they want to do.
Hmmmmmmm. Story of my life. If you are not ready to leave then you better fight back. Mine was soooo bad I went to law school with just three skirts and five tops, one pair of black shoe! Money was zero I had to beg popsi for money.
ReplyDeleteMy dear I do not have strength to type all but just know that i decided enough was enough the day him and his mum ganged up against me. I kuku dash myself brain and started fighting back ooo. Now I start trouble before him. See ehnn these type of men can kill walahi, I just find solace in my daughter I don't even hear him some times when he starts oooo I have become immune to him. He knows so he's calm down small. Better fight for your freedom dear. Enjoy your life and ignore him and watch him come begging.
my dear im going through the same thing,he is manupulative ehh,he hit me last week and i told our marraige counselor and they caution him and told us to apologise to each other which i did,but he refused to apologise and is keeping malice,he travelled this morning and did not keep a dime for us,and im breastfeeding,mind u he was not lyk this during courtship.
ReplyDeleteWe’re you not working before giving birth?
DeleteYou didn’t save up money as an expectant mother? How do you get penniless to the extent that your husband has to give you money to eat?
Poverty conversations!
On the contrary, I like the spate and rate of divorce emanating from this blog post mehn.
ReplyDeleteWomen's dependence on men for survival in this country is alarming!
Imagine a side chick quit her job because she met a cash cow in me!!
Get yourselves empowered and depend on the work of your hands......
Anyone(man/woman) who cannot take care of their family is worse than an infidel...... having a penis doesn't mean we have three heads.
#whomarriageepp #hehehehe
I strongly disagree. It's the reverse, that's not what happens in my place of work, many career women are bread winners. What do you think the husbands do if not to spend their money on side chicks that are still trying to get a career?
DeleteI deeply wonder when Men say women dependence on them is too much. This same men beg me for money on a daily basis. Not small money oo. It's too confusing.
What I know women depend on men for is marriage but that has even begin to dwindle, with the high rate of divorce now. I am not even thinking of marriage.
Will society most especially men let women be for once? Especially single ladies?
Normally, I won't reply or come back to read responses but seeing how cordial you tried to oppose my point, lemme reiterate...... just know that we may disagree with each other eventually but that shouldn't stop us from being logical.
DeleteOn a second thought, this Spain vs Portugal match is too intriguing to interrupt - maybe some other time/day. #chiao
Ehen, you were saying?!
DeleteAhaaaaa, indirectly insulting me that I spend money on side chicks who are trying to get a career, hehehe - I jump am pass! Forget being personal, if not that I got married in church as well as court and I am a Christian, I for marry enough wives. Don't you fuck? Well, you are a Christian too and you shouldn't!
Hmmmmmnnnn..... lemme continue with this match.....
@King, also watching the match, it's 2 for Portugal and 3 for Spain now. 🤣
DeleteYou know it was just last week my friend told me of his friend colleague I used to ride with.
This guy na Banker that used to yarn the same dust you yarn about ladies bla bla bla. Guess what?
I wasn't shocked when I heard he got a lady who gave him her savings of 1.5million with the promise of marriage. (Like I said that is the dependence not money). He has bought a car for himself and now glued to his cash cow. Even his mother has given blessings, and the former fiance been told to go. 🤣
Abeg, leave story, how much is the peanut you spare on your side that make you go type Shit here?
You said logical? Even P. Daddy wey be billionaire pimped a sugar boy for Kris Jenner, so he can feed of her. Why didn't he get him a job?
Hold up Ronaldo just scored the third goal!!!!
It's 3-3 now😉😉
This paper king seriously u are suffering from low self-esteem. Ur type can only make noise about doing big things whereas na handicap u be dependent on others. Bee gave u an unexpected jab below d belt. U got pinned.
DeleteOur society is such that leaving a marriage is not a walk in the park. Families, friends and neighbours will beg, preach and even make it seem like you are committing an unforgivable atrocity whereas you are just trying to save your life. Well, I decided not to talk about leaving anymore, and choose to fight. Tell you what, I am winning the battle little by little. My overbearing husband is now mellowingredients cos I no longer ask how high when he asks that I jump. I now keep friends, I am saving even though he can swear I don't have a dime. I have refused to look like a grandma just so I can massage his ego, I look good for myself. Poster, scratch leaving and fight back. Bullies are usually cowards, when you stand up to them, they back down. Sister, fight back.
ReplyDeleteNice one
DeleteMy ex wife to be soon, was always telling people how selfish and wicked
ReplyDeleteam and telling every of my friends how protective and heartless am to her,
but she refused to understand that i was trying to protect my home and our
marriage becos i wanted to give her alots of time to repent and change for
good,cos i see her as my sister that needed my protections when doing wronge,
,i knew all her secrets at work and with her friends,but i pretended that
i dont know all she was doing,both fleeting with her boss and my friends,
i know all and still pretend and dying in silents just to protect her image,
untill that day she insulted me much and was acting innocents on my face,
i got upset and ready to ends everything with her,,
i told her all her secrets i knew about her and when and how,,,hehehe wiser
woman,she did not believe it that i know all and im ready to go public with
it,all shame on her face and since then till today she have never face my face since that
very day,,when a man is trying to put things together and to protect a woman
with time and silents to repents she see the man as a cowards,,
ask the man what you are doing wronge and repents from its,,
any real man that allows his wife to work or doing bussiness always watching
her back,,but she dont know,,asked and,change ,,madam,
Hmmm Oga u sure say no be ur grammar make ur wife dey misbehave. U really love letter "s" no be small.I can imagine how u go dey baff person with saliva when talking with "s" in every word.
DeleteStruggled all through to read your comment.
DeleteBTW, where is that mumu anonymous that focus on grammatical errors and wanna bes? You won't comment now because Oga 👆 is a He.
Hmmmm! Eleyi gidi gaaan🤔
DeleteSuch atrocious writing!! I lost brain cells trying to read.
DeleteGod what kind of prisons are these????????????
ReplyDeleteGod kill any type of vermin like this that will attempt to come my way.
Let him be destroyed to ash.
Let nothing like this ever come my way to take up one micro second of my time.
Amen!!!!!!
Scary stories here mehn,and I'm engaged to someone who's barely even around for me to see him.
ReplyDeleteLol..everybody, s marriage ain't working. But who are those slaying with their hubby and children on Facebook and instagram?
ReplyDeleteMine isn't rosey Sha but God is on the wheel.
I think I will do 7 days dry fast naked to pray against these type of men. Before you can find one decent, faithful, intelligent,hygienically sound, honest Nigerian man who knows what it is to be a husband and father it is like looking for an item in mud.
ReplyDeleteYour post is serious but I had to laugh at "hygienically sound"
Deletelmao. Girl you are right
DeleteSeems like a lot of women on this blog are really poor, or like being poor.
ReplyDeleteHow can an adult be ok with being fed? I am also very sure that most of you are educated.
Why won’t you jam men last this when all you people think and talk about are man related issues from morning till night.
You will finish school instead of finding how to make something of yourself, man na the next thing, and all you hungry lot will open your dirty mouths and insult single women that have their shit together.
Why won’t they disrespect the lot of you?
What value are you adding to this your relationship/marriage?
Sex is cheap and can be gotten anywhere, there’s no value in that. Most of you don’t even know what’s happening in the world around you, can’t hold conversations, really low iQ.
Lots of you women refuse to develop yourselves , lots of you are without ambition or purpose, just hungry people looking for man to carry all their problems.
A man that meets you as a boss, as a woman that is going somewhere and know her worth, will think twice before trying to control you.
You’ll deceive yourselves and at the end of the day suffer for it.
Complaining that your man dropped 500 naira, or he didn’t drop money and you’re breast feeding.
It’s the value he placed on you that he has dropped, the earlier you all start behaving like adults the better for you.
Some body will be reading stupid poverty related chronicles here all the time. Msctheeeewwwww!!!
My brother my sister, what brand of drink do you consume? A trailer load of whatever is on me. Thank you for saving me the stress of typing.
DeleteHahahahahah at your 3rd paragraph. Na as their IQ reach na no vex. You hear? Lmaooo @povertychronicles
DeleteThank you,most of the ladies here have very low IQ.
DeleteSpot on
DeleteWho raised these set of Nigerian men. Our generation needs to do a better work in raising our sons
ReplyDeleteHow will your generation do 'a better work' when your generation are clueless on what it takes to be a father.
DeletePoster must you be married?
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for what you've been through but honestly men like this never change. Is he physically abusive as well cos it's in him. He is a narcissist and also manic, I'm talking from experience. Worst part is they can pretend but not for long, if you courted just abit longer you may have seen his true colors . My advice get a job! Get contraception! Start saving up and planning your exit but you can try counseling and prayers first but they never change. If you stay back you will become a bitter depressed unfulfilled woman. I suggest you leave before it's too late. Thank God you are educated , you can get a job and take care of your child. I don't think they've given birth to the man who will call my boss to make me loose my job! This contracts ends that day! Did her train me in Uni, am I his slave? Poster get your life back. It's not worth it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for all you're going through. Your hubby has narcissistic personality disorder. Google it and learn how to manage these types. But it's common knowledge that they rarely change. Although with God, nothing is impossible. Stay strong and pray for the Holy spirit to lead you. Pls try and get a job while you're on it.
ReplyDelete