STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED HOUSEWIFE
Hi Stella,
I've been a blog visitor for 3 years plus and never knew I would write a chronicle ever because every aspect of my life has been great, all thanks to God Almighty.
Hi Stella,
I've been a blog visitor for 3 years plus and never knew I would write a chronicle ever because every aspect of my life has been great, all thanks to God Almighty.
Pls bear with me as I believe my write up will be disjointed as I've never been this scared and confused in my life.
I've been married to the sweetest man ever for almost two years now. We were so open to each other as no secret was between us whatsoever (or so I thought). Our phone was always open for each other and all these was part of why I married him.
The problem started when I saw a chat on his whatsapp with one small girl..who I expected him to treat like family ( cuz of how we got to know her..long story).
From the chat..the girl was flirting with him, but still I confronted him and he acted shocked that I will ever think that of him..but I let him understand he was leading the girl on that's why she continued. I told him to cut all ties with her and to the best of my knowledge, it stopped.
I discovered later he pass worded his phone and that made me team Snoop.
He uses two phones but only one could record call so I set it to auto record calls; I had the password to that phone ( he doesn't know of course). So I go through all records when he's asleep. Everything was cool until I noticed another girl ( let's call her Ayomide) he calls like almost 10 times a day; she calls him too. So I heard them talking about seeing and touching each other. His best friend knows about her as he asked about her in one of their call. I got all information from the calls about that girl so I confronted him with it. He didn't know I tapped his phone cuz I confronted him like I hired someone to trace him.
He has been going to her apartment too.
He said he was sorry, that the girl keeps coming to his office and him seeing her always made him fantasize on f**king her but he has not. I asked him to cut all ties with her if not he wouldn't like what I would do..I was crazy and he got shooked. He blocked her number and I kept monitoring his recorded calls. I later got to know his other phone password in the long run.
Everything was fine until yesterday, as my usual routine, I was listening to his call records, he had a call from our family doctor saying a lady and her mum is here with him( mentioning Ayomide). That she has a lump in one of her breasts and discharge too; that he needs to run a test to check her prolactin level and they are to remove the lump. My husband asked for the amount and he promised to send the money today. Huge money o as most hospitals are on strike here so they are using a specialist/private hospital.
My heart shattered as I don't know how and when they met again.
Pls bvs advice me on the next step to take as I don't know what to do.
Pls Stella your red pen is needed.
P.S: I just discovered I'm pregnant with our second baby.
Thanks for your time and I'm sorry for this long epistle.
Pls Stella your red pen is needed.
P.S: I just discovered I'm pregnant with our second baby.
Thanks for your time and I'm sorry for this long epistle.
*Hmmm i dont know what to say na....My stand on this remains the same,,DONT SNOOP....
Once you start snooping,you cant stop and the confrontations wont stop.....
Congrats on your second pregnancy and good luck with hos this turns out
Now that you know, your life and marriage will never be the same again.
ReplyDeleteHow can a normal human being advice another human being not to check his/her partners phone? How? Why are they one? What kind of useless advice is this biko? Na wa o! Madam if you can't tolerate another woman in your husband's life biko confrot your husband with facts and prepare for whatever be the outcome. Useless men everywhere...
DeleteExactly, no more peace of mind.
DeleteMadam, maybe he is just helping the girl out with her medical bill.
You dint tell us if kids are involved. Why is she’s checking her prolactin levels if she’s not trying for kids, hmm for now just go cold on him and keep praying. Men don’t know that once trust is broken it can never be the same, start saving for yourself and your kids (if you have any) tell him you will only sleep with him with a condom cus you know they are still involved and you don’t want to catch anything. After about a month, ask him what he feels about an open marriage (you don’t mean it but men hate the image of another man with their wives) ask and then laugh so he can get jealous, let him feel your happiness and know he isn’t the reason behind it. At the end of the day live your life, don’t kill yourself because of a man, if he doesn’t change move the hell on. Men of these days don’t remember the woman of their youth
DeleteAs a very good member of team snoop I nominate you for award of good snooper. But seriously, it is now for you to try to secure yourself now that your eyes are open.
DeleteNow you the kind of man ya horseband is Oya oooo start saving for rainning days ooo...
DeleteFor how long would you continue this way. Madam stop snooping, it would keep your home in peace. At the long run he would find out how you know and change tactics. May the Lord heal your home.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Delete'Home in peace'?? What home?? The way some men knowingly put their lives and that of their family in danger ehnnnn.
DeleteKeep her home in peace? Is she the one trying to destroy the home abi her horseband
DeleteKeep her home in peace? Is she the one trying to destroy the home abi her horseband
DeleteWhich peace when his side chic is running fertility tests and prolactin levels?
DeleteI'm sure he was the one that discovered she had galactorrhea and a breast lump.
Her home would be in peace until she later finds out that her hubby has another family living on the opposite side of town. The way some of you like fooling yourselves ehhhn...
DeleteNonsense peace...madam confront him but know he's a cheat so you decide what you want.
DeleteShe is talkinglike a saint now, foolish woman. Oya, your husband is cheating, deal with it.
ReplyDeleteWhat's that supposed to mean or you just feel like typing trash
DeleteUfodi umu nwanyi na enwe ndidi, some women get patience walaaiii. I have been married for 15 years and I can swear that my husband has never cheated on me. I'm tean snoop but to be honest there hasn't been any need for it. I have the password to my husband's phone, i answer his calls when I want. I have his passwords to all social media accounts. His salary, I know when it comes in and how is gonna be spent.
DeleteHe asked him, he said nothing, it happened again, you asked him , he said nothing. I no fit abeg. God knows the kind of temper I have, that was why he blessed me with my husband.
Madam calm down what do you even know.Is not by gara gara, is only his grace ,I tell you if it comes to you u won't do anything but cry finally finally as far as Africa is concerned you will be the one to loose,trust me so shut the fuck up
DeleteAnon 16:21. D worse thing a woman can do is boast with a man. I pray he remains so 4 u. A men.
DeletePoster how I so much hate to snoop. Knowing what ur man is up to does nothing but steal ur peace of mind. If ure not ready 2 leave ur home, marriage n husband then stop searching 4 reasons 2 b unhappy. As 4 ur present situation Tessy nor get advice.
May you find what you are looking for, I guess you have found yours. What level of depravity will make you to be listening on your hubby's phone conversations. You should protect what is yours by all means, but what you are doing will kill you. Then Ayomide will come in and your children will suffer. Haba madam take it easy.
DeleteSince he's ready to foot the expensive medical bills of his side chicks, then I'll clear his account with my own fabricated financial issues and heaven will fall if he doesn't foot them, padlock my pussy and we will live as flatmates in the house.
ReplyDeleteInfact, I will build a house under his nose, own properties and shame him with my success. Stupid man!
Who your pussy help ?
Delete@Anom,I concur.
DeleteMy kind of woman. Who fighting EPP??? Babe, milk him as much as you can, because if you keep fighting, the more access the other woman have to him. Kindly play the fool to fool the fool.
DeleteExactly. She's not spending all the money that's why he has change to spend on side chicks.
DeleteMadam better come up with an incredible lie to swallow all that money. Prolactin ko, progesterone ni. With her shameless mother.
Stella you say don't snoop? HIV/aids, herpes is real
ReplyDeleteDon't mind her. What you don't know it's a killer. You think knowledge is expensive? Try ignorance.
DeleteThere are a lot of women that are carrying STDs about and popping pills because of their cheating husband
Delete*drinks water *
ReplyDeleteSweetest man indeed...
If I had told u to activate ur shock absorber cos that sweetest man is a smooth operator, u for say my self esteem is below par, hahahahahhahaaa...until u catch ur own, they will be saints in yo eyes.
Either u stay put or u pack.. Is he will continue in a more coded way.
Are u minding them. I just lol when I read the chronicle. Saint ko saint ni.
DeleteMen know the game. When we ask you ladies what type of man you want and you tell us, we morph into it. A sensible lady will never give that info away and thereby the man will act out his true colours and it is up to you to notice. Men can only pretend but for so long. You ladies are the serious pretenders (not said in a bad way)
DeleteStop being a slave to sadness.
ReplyDeleteStop snooping.your Horseband is a professional cheat so live with it
All these side vultures that fork other women's horsebands, how una carry dey sleep? I dey talk to them in this blog.
ReplyDeleteThey sleep with their eyes and pussycats open.
DeleteThey sleep well. Why can't the men sit in one place. Are they mad?
DeleteMost of them don't know these men are married, most married men lie about their marital status.
DeleteThis is really sad. Please let him know that u are aware of all the deals, afterward concentrate on your health cos u might be harming yourself. You can't stop some men from cheating, they will only change strategy to continue and eventually jump to next prey. Just hand him over to God and pray for peace of mind. Take care of yourself and your baby.
ReplyDeleteOne spouse can never be enough for world people.
ReplyDeleteYou're pregnant, so I'd advise you to take things easy and don't get high BP on top your husbands wandering third leg.
As you've been doing, talk to him calmly, and madam, be gathering enough firewood against the rainy season.
Don't slack, request same amount from him, let's see if he'd give it to you or not.
My advice? Take care of yourself and your kid, it takes the special grace of God to bring back a prodigal d**k.
Tell the man that you need that exact amount to go to hospital as you are expecting his next baby.
ReplyDeleteTell him that you "know about the breast lump" and stop there. Keep quiet and watch.
Lovely! I like this! Let him do the 'wondering'. hahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahhaha
DeleteBiko take hand! What is all this weakness. Tell him that unless he wants to marry a second wife, he needs to let you know why he is financing someone behind your back. Marriage is not slave and master, it is husband and wife and since she is not working they should own the same purse and he should not be giving to anyone without consulting her. Ayomide my foot.
DeleteThis is nice too. I was going to say find a way to mention something you know calmly. Don't fight. Request an equal amount and see what he does. Men are not loyal so save for the rainy days. Keep yourself busy too and earn your own money. They say once a cheat always a cheat so...
DeleteWatch and pray.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm....why do men cheat? Why?
ReplyDeleteSorry madam take it easy,
congratulations on your bump, try and ignore him. We need you and your baby safe and sound.
I keep wondering how a perfect love goes wrong.
For your family doctor to know the girl and her mom is something...The lord is your strength
ReplyDeleteposter do the normal thing "snoopers" do, confront him as usual.
ReplyDeletecongrats on your 2nd pregnancy. obago
Poster when you keep looking you shall find. When you were snooping, You didn't plan on what to do when you find what it is you are looking for?
ReplyDeleteDon't snoop you people won't hear. You've laid your bed; please lay on it.
Here is another sob story of how my husband is cheating on me. NNE u din't marry Angel Gabriel, you married a man, not just anyhow man but one with two big balls and raging hormones. If I talk now u people will come write plenty stories telling me how its only my reality. Abegge deal with ya randy goatband by knacking pigeon on his head or by letting him go since u can't buy him a condom to fuck his side chicken. Don't kill yasef over how a man uses his penis and blockos oooh.
ReplyDeleteBut you were so worried and almost your man for cheating on you too
DeleteYou should really try to be classy for once in your entire life and add sensitive to it if your mind will let you.
DeleteStop projecting your insecurities and your cheating boyfriends inability to finally keep their wandering dicks in their dirty boxers and do you the honour of marrying you. So now you are stuck with taunting married women and while wallowing in self pity.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
King XOXO stop bothering yourself please.This awusa whore can never be classy not even in her next life..
DeleteOooh please xoxo shush it. You who is classy how has that stop your randy useless husband/boyfriend from dipping his useless tiny Biro cover dick into any dirty hole he finds around the corner? I will always air my opinion, call it what ever you want, but don't come under my comment spewing thrash like I forced the useless men in your life to cheat on you.
DeleteAnon shey me and ya mama are roommates who have the same profession na. Bloody daughter of a bitch. Come for me again idiots.
DeleteThis one, apart from taunting married women her other job is trolling pretty ladies. Very jealous being. Always nasty. Check her everywhere, shes busy abusing celebs everywhere. If u didn't hv insecurity issues, why r u listing things u learnt from yr Ex? Why shud u even hv an Ex or Exes since u knw it all. Thats why they pass u arnd frm one single and mingle to d next. Alcoholic!
DeleteNa wa o.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all madam, calm down. Take a big breath n exhale out.
Your husband is just fanitizing about laying the girl n that's bad n disrespectful to u his wife.
Tell me,how will he feel if its you that is fanitizing on sleeping with a hot dude across the street.
My advice to you is to tell him how u feel about this ish with the so called Ayomide. Also,how about you insist on meeting the girl with him in attendance n give her the warning of her life to stay clear from ur hubby.
You believe that lie :-D :-D :-D Gullible 4.0. He is only fantasizing and I am the CBN Governor.
DeleteSeems you don't have anything doing other than snooping your husband ?
ReplyDeleteWhen you snoop... prepare for the worst. If you can't take it don't snoop. I feel for you sha, but... he's seriously involved with that girl.
ReplyDeleteI say when you feel the need to snoop just know that your spouse is cheating. If your spouse is cheating, it is safe to snoop and stay ahead of the game so you do not get caught unawares. As most of these women will die in their marriages, they better know what will kill them.
DeleteHe damn right is cos for her mum to be involved in the mix, she has been in on their relationship and supports them. Poster they may even be conniving to take your home. Afterall she is doing prolactin tests n all, probably trying to get preggy. I won't encourage you to keep taping him but be sure to not get caught in the act! Confront him only when you have RECEIPTS!
DeleteYour head is there 16:36
DeleteWhat if he lied to her that he's single
DeleteMadam whatever you do, don't deliver your baby in your family doctor's clinic. Look for the nearest general Hospital or another good private hospital. This one he's managing both you and your husband side chick abeg ✋
ReplyDeleteAs in! Before dem go mistakenly give you "injection". Don't take your child there for treatment too. And you say your marriage is just two or three years old! Madam, the day is still young o. Na like this una go take do this marriage with STDs and STIs for 10years? 25years? Start saving money like a maniac cos you now have a co-wife. Your marriage don enter limbo already and anything can happen.
DeleteApt
Deletewhat is happening to married people of this generation..Tueh
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm! O ma ga o!madam d Lord Is Your Strenght! It's well with u! Pls just pray! Then watch war room!God Would Definitly See U Tru!
ReplyDeletePray AND ACT. What sort of evil advice do some of you give these women. Women are not helpless fish, encourage them to get busy and secure themselves and their kids not sit and be watching a movie that has no bearing in this case.
DeleteYou will have to cope with a cheating husband for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteEhya! It can be very painful to know ur man cares for another woman even in a way he doesn't care for you.
ReplyDeleteSorry madam, the bitter truth is that your husband is in love with this 'Ayomide'.its such a pity u stopped & found out if u hadn't snooped u would have been really happy with ur self now. & no matter what you say he still gonna pay that hospital bill without you knowing. U can't control his life entirely.
My advice ?Just take a chill 💊 & calm down, see it as if he is helping a less privilegded sick person. & after that have a serious talk with him to curtail his cheating habits. Plz stop recording his call, u only get hurt, stop snooping.
Once a cheat always a cheat.
Love enthusiast, when you marry come back and read this your comment! Rubbish advice @ helping less priviledged!
DeleteI will rather be hurt and informed than ignorant and blissfully happy
DeleteWhat I dont know can kill me o
Which one is less privileged?
Just two years of marraige and the man is already footing another girls medical bills
How long will she look the other way
Let her make hay while the sun shines o
Poster don't focus on his cheating alone o
Monitor his accounts, family conversation
Una go still dey pay rent while he will buy house for the babe
If you were my sister, we for join hand swindle am of better money.
99 percent of men cheats, no too ways about it.
ReplyDeleteSHATAP WOMAN WITH ZERO ESTEEM! You have none left. Maybe Stella should open a section for women and men in happy and faithful marriages to send in their stories.
DeleteNow cutest Pat, go back to your randy boyfriend.
And you insult women who cheats too
Delete@Anon 16:27,it is in this same blog I will read about your own cheating husband. Don't worry time will tell.
DeleteKnowledge is power!
ReplyDeleteThank God you now know, knack him your own medical bill na
Is it not a man that has excess money that will spend on side chicks
Knack him with bills upon bills
If he complains ask him if he is now a charity organization that is sponsoring people's surgery
Its possible that the family doctor, the babe and her mum want to join hands and scam your husband
Three can play that game.
Dont stop snooping o
You will always be a step ahead
Exactly. So if she didn't snoop, she would be having peace of mind when her home is burning. Which kind of yeye peace is that? Poster snoop on, be steps ahead and secure yourself.
DeleteAnonymous 15:17 has said it all. For your family doctor to know her and your husband talking to her mother, it is no more conventional cheating. This one is getting dangerous. What can you do i don't know but something in me thinks u went too far switching on the recording mode on his phone. If i were him i would be mad at you if i ever find out about it. Hope you find solution to nip their relationship in the bud, truth is only prayer might help cos this your husband is an ogbologbo cheat.
ReplyDeletemadam , you are just giving your self stress
ReplyDeleteShe's just giving herself stress abi? Till the husband comes home with HIV, then you will know what stress is! You must be a randy he goat or an ugly woman who has no other hope that's why you settled for a cheating husband.
DeleteMadam don't give yourself hbp. Thank God for your second pregnancy, use it to collect same amount he wants to drop for her surgery.
ReplyDelete1. Stop having babies please. Do not think they will keep you busy or bring him home. You ladies need to stop bringing in babies into broken homes (a philandering spouse has broken the home, this is the real definition of a broken home).
ReplyDelete2. Your man has always been cheating, you just never took note of it. Men will do whatever it takes to snag a good woman. He told you secrets he wanted you to know.
3. NOT ALL OF US CHEAT, do not listen to the lies. Your husband has a problem with boundaries. I would advice you to protect yourself and allow him to enter trouble by himself. He is very lousy so he will definitely fall into the hands of a woman who will mercilessly deal with him. My prayer is it does not extend to you and your babies. Men like yours will not stop until he is almost destroyed unfortunately. If you do not have work, please do not sit at home and wait on him...get yourself an income. You might need it with the way he is forming father christmas.
You do not work so unless your husband respects you (which truly he does not), you can not make any strong threats.
Ladies, cheats have no respect for themselves. If you continue to pander to them they will not stop. You need to use a strong arm and tell your husband that he will face consequences if he does not stop. The question is...are you willing to follow through?
Hmmmmm, poster read and digest this
DeleteThis one na anonymous wey sense dey pain! So much knowledge in on comment. Madam poster, please copy and paste.
DeleteLook for a Bill in that amount. I did for my husband recently. I found out he slept with one new catch. I calculated the amount of hotel and the thanks for coming money making 40k. (cheap people) I don tell him things I need. Na person wey get money dey sleep upandan. Oya na, make we dey play the game.
ReplyDeleteI think it's about time women reevaluated their reason(s) for getting married. Is it for procreation or companionship? Leave love out of it first. Apart from the fear of contracting venereal diseases from a philanderer, do you mind not being the only woman in your man's life? Can you cater to the needs of your children without financial support from a man? What are you most afraid of? Diseases, miscellaneous children, a side chick? If any of these would bother you, then leave marriage alone. Get "screened" sperm from a bank, have children and use a condom whenever you hit the sack with anyone. There are absolutely no guarantees in marriage both then and now. And in the final analysis, marriage is definitely not for everyone; most especially the jealous, clueless and snoop-without-a-backup-plan people. The new code is be gainfully employed before marriage and always save in a coded account in case things ever go south. And before you snoop, be ready to take that famous long walk. Don't die before you die.
ReplyDeleteI advise every woman to snoop.
ReplyDeleteYou need to know what is rising against you other wise you are praying in vain.
As we speak there are some homes where the husband is planning to kick the woman out, madam doesn't know because she feels ignorance is bliss.
There are some homes where the inlaws hate the wife with a passion, she doesn't know because she feels ignorance is bliss.
There are some homes where the man is sleeping with anything with a hole, madam is shining teeth like a hyena...yes...according to her ignorance is bliss.
As we speak, there is a wife married to a full time gay. She doesn't know she is his full time beard.
There is another one running from pillar to post because she has not conceived,not knowing that the husband's sperm is 30cl 7Up.
Ask people who have snooped what they have saved themselves from, STI's, STDs, ritual killing, homelessness, incurable diseases,husband's girlfriend's taking over the home, inlaws throwing them out etc.
Information is power is not a slang, it's the truth. This is not 1918. Times have changed. Even devil has upgraded his terms and conditions. You too move with the times and stay one step ahead, the only way you can do that is with INFORMATION.
Since parents have refused to train the male child and focus all attention on the females, we will continue to see men who don't understand what mantle of headship in a home means (for those who subscribe to headship balh blah)or the values that define them as husbands and fathers.
Me,I am team snoop.
And since I have no skeletons, my phones are not passworded and my mails are usually open on my computer.
But if you're gonna snoop, always make sure you have well prepared plan A,B,C even D. There is nothing sweeter than a partner in absolute confusion once you start firing your well prepared missiles from every direction, especially when he doesn't know the missiles are coming from you.
I never confront anybody,ever, you will crawl and beg me.
Move in SILENCE.
A round of applause for your wisdom 👏👏👏
DeleteI read your comment and what came to my mind was Ezenwayi has finally landed.
DeleteI dey snoop but no shaking.
Madam try collect your own share of equal amount. Save and save. Go and give yourself a treat small.
Anon 16:53 YOU ARE TOO GOOD!!! You are the bomb!!! Your advice is the best so far. God bless you plenty
DeleteYour comment is the most sensible so far.
DeleteYou deserve a bottle of champagne. I'd rather be in the know than be ignorant. Ignorance is no longer an excuse. I will snoop if and when I need to. You can imagine how this man's friend go dey 'yimu' ontop the wife. Stupid men everywhere.
DeleteYou deserve more rounds of applause. I was on the fence but you convinced me with your valid points.
Delete👏👏👏👏👏. I hereby elect anon 16:53 president of our club. Bia BVs Ayam selling forms. But seriously ignorance being bliss is foolishness. Those of you who want to continue as ostriches burying their head in the sand at the sight of an oncoming bus are free to get hit.
Delete@anon 16:03 calm down na! Will my comment determine whether the horse_band will finally pay the hospital bill or not. I like facing reality o, that man is so involved with the side chick & the only thing madam need to do is to try to be calm & look for a way to live a happy life.
ReplyDeleteShe should be calm for money that should be used in the home to be siphoned to the sidechick. Smh
DeleteThe only advice I can give you which I'll also give myself is confront him if you want, it may not change anything he will only be more coded, just try n be more independent, get something doing, save and milk as much as you can, double your allowance and think of businesses he can invest in for you, so that at the end of the day he doesn't have enough for his side dish. Be independent for your sake, after this child get yourself a job so you ain't always the available housewife and also try to get him tested as well. You can try war room and counseling it may help. Cheers
ReplyDeleteMaybe ur husband is just trying to help her and there might be nothing attached to it , but if ur still suspicious why don’t u reach out to the girl and let her know u are aware of she and ur husband and she should respect ur home.
ReplyDeleteSomeone who said he fantasizes about f$$king her. Poster be wise.
DeleteWhy do we always abuse women who snoop? If the husband leaves her now all of u will abuse her for not seeing the signs. I beg free her. Snooping has saved marriages. Anyway poster how do u do this auto call record??? I am interested o.
ReplyDeletePoster, your husband is dumb. If he's not, he's really careless. When his calls end, doesn't he see the "recording saved to..." message? Some phones even ask if you want to save the recording. That said, my people say "okoyomde? Edikutde?" Meaning that you sought, you've seen. Now, what? I don't have any advise other than to tell you to calm down and think of your kids.
ReplyDeleteBut why will people deceive others into a marriage they really have no intention to honour? Polygamy isn't outlawed at least in our tradition. Be a polygamist and marry as many as you want. No one is stopping you. Let stop the pretence pls.
ReplyDeletePlease don't confront him go to MFM for prayers at
ReplyDelete