STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
PREGNANT!!!
Dearest Stella,
I sent in a chronicle in 2015 about a guy I was dating then that seemed to be a golddigger. Thanks to your and BVs advice I ended that relationship and moved on with my life.
Since then I got a really great job in the corporate world and I’ve been dating casually, when I have time. Nothing serious.
Until this year. In March I met someone through Instagram and our chat was so interesting, he asked for my number and called me up immediately.
The very next day he called and asked to take me out on a date. I requested that we make it on the weekend because of work. We kept in constant contact every day till that Saturday that we met the first time. Our chat would flow for hours!
Turned out he was the first son born to Yoruba parents and was a Lawyer who worked in his Dad’s firm. By the way I’m 33 while he’s 34.
On that Saturday, the night of our date, he came to my house to pick me up and he took me to dinner, we saw a movie after, then went to an outdoor park where there was some live jazz band playing. It was a beautiful evening. Honestly we couldn’t keep our eyes off each other and even though his friends were there, we kept gisting with just ourselves to the extent they started “yabbing” him that “Na wa o! Is it not today you guys said you met?!” He just laughed it off.
Stella, that weekend was fun. We went out again on Sunday and it was like we didn’t want Monday to come. All through that week we would chat at work and by Wednesday, he started coming to pick me up from my office in Marina so we could go home together (we both live not too far away from each other in Lekki).
That Friday evening we went out and he dropped me home and one thing led to another - we kissed. We spent the night on my couch in the living room, cuddling. No sex, no smooching. In fact, for some strange reason my spirit felt I should not have sex with him yet. Later on he would start to push but I held on for as long as I could.
The following week I got a message that my mom was ill and I had to travel to Benin. He was with me and on impulse, I asked if he had been to Benin before, he said No. I asked if he wanted to come with me and he said “Of course!” Stella, this is how this guy followed me to Benin 2 weeks after we met, visited my parents and we even had dinner in my house. I had told my mom he was just my friend at the time. He was very respectful, and was a good guest. He stayed in a hotel near our house and my dad’s driver dropped him off there after dinner. The next day I got a call from the office and we had to leave Benin very early back to Lagos.
It just so happened that since our trip to Benin, he was always at my house; so much so that we were basically living together. We would go to his place occasionally when I didn’t have light and I didn’t have money for diesel. We would get ready for work together in the morning; he’d drop me at my office then head to his. In the evening he’d pick me up and we would go home together.
A week after our trip to Benin, we came back from work one day and he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. I was overjoyed. It was such a sweet moment. Then the pressure for sex began. I tried to explain my feelings about waiting but he later confessed to me that his friends had been pressuring him; that how could he really be sure of me; after all it wasn’t as if I was a virgin. We had started talking marriage plans and we settled on Easter next year. I met his mom, siblings and extended family. His dad has been out of the country so I haven’t met him yet.
The first fight we ever had was on this sex issue. That day I cried. In the night, I gave in to him. Exactly 1 month after we met. I remember asking him to use protection but he said not to worry, that he would use the withdrawal method. But somehow he came in me a little.
Was I worried? To be honest I wasn’t. Stella, for the past 8 years I haven’t had so much as a pregnancy scare. A fiancé broke up with me in 2011 because he insisted I conceive before the wedding. We tried everything. In 2015 I went to see a popular fertility Doctor and he confirmed that my egg reserve was low and IVF was my best option. Since then I’ve tried to bring up my fertility issues with potential suitors early enough in our friendship so that if it’s a deal breaker for them, they can back out before things get too serious.
I don’t know why God decided to remember me but Stella, I found out some weeks ago that I was pregnant. ME!!! That had given up all hope of ever being a mother. I had gone for malaria test because I had been so ill, and when the Doctor told me I just started shaking and crying. It was a task getting through work to get home to call my boyfriend. He had travelled to Accra for a conference.
When I first told him, I could feel his shock on the phone. He said when he gets back we would figure it out. That whole week, waiting for him to come was torture. All of a sudden the frequency of his calls and messages started reducing. I was worried.
When he finally came, I picked him from the airport and we went to his house. He was behaving so distant. He gave me some gifts he bought for me and we fell asleep. Suddenly I woke up, got up and picked up his phone. My spirit told me everything I wanted to know was in there.
God. What I saw till today I’m still shaking. This man who said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me was calling me derogatory names to his friends. They were discussing how he would convince me to have an abortion, and why I was so eager to get married. His cousin said I probably wanted to marry into their family for money or name! I was shocked! I earn more than he does and even lent him money on several occasions , but he was agreeing with his cousin! Let’s not even mention the chats between him and several girls he had sex with on his trip, and the ones in Nigeria he was toasting.
I dropped his phone and found my way to my house. To cut the long story short Stella, that night I called him and told him what I saw in his phone. I asked what he really felt about my pregnancy. He said pointblank that he wanted me to terminate it. He didn’t apologize for the other things I saw.
I cried and called his mother, who told me to come see her the following day. Stella, this woman looked at me and said to my face that “Pregnancy must not lead to marriage “. Wow. This is someone who calls me all the time and prays for my relationship with her son. What is even saving me now is that when we met and were living in my house together, I saw my period and we were together all through the time I supposedly conceived. Which is why he couldn’t even deny it.
As it is, I am in Limbo. He doesn’t call or visit. He called sometime last week that he was coming to see me but he never showed up. I called but he didn’t answer. The mom sends me bible passages once in a while and calls to check on me. At 33, should I be considering abortion?? Never! God gave me this and I have decided to keep it, whether he wants to assist me through this trying time or not.
I still haven’t told my parents, who are devout Catholics. I’m 2 months gone. I don’t know what to do. The flat I stay in is owned by my father.
Stella what do I do? BVs please help me figure my life out. Love you all.
Dearest Stella,
I sent in a chronicle in 2015 about a guy I was dating then that seemed to be a golddigger. Thanks to your and BVs advice I ended that relationship and moved on with my life.
Since then I got a really great job in the corporate world and I’ve been dating casually, when I have time. Nothing serious.
Until this year. In March I met someone through Instagram and our chat was so interesting, he asked for my number and called me up immediately.
The very next day he called and asked to take me out on a date. I requested that we make it on the weekend because of work. We kept in constant contact every day till that Saturday that we met the first time. Our chat would flow for hours!
Turned out he was the first son born to Yoruba parents and was a Lawyer who worked in his Dad’s firm. By the way I’m 33 while he’s 34.
On that Saturday, the night of our date, he came to my house to pick me up and he took me to dinner, we saw a movie after, then went to an outdoor park where there was some live jazz band playing. It was a beautiful evening. Honestly we couldn’t keep our eyes off each other and even though his friends were there, we kept gisting with just ourselves to the extent they started “yabbing” him that “Na wa o! Is it not today you guys said you met?!” He just laughed it off.
Stella, that weekend was fun. We went out again on Sunday and it was like we didn’t want Monday to come. All through that week we would chat at work and by Wednesday, he started coming to pick me up from my office in Marina so we could go home together (we both live not too far away from each other in Lekki).
That Friday evening we went out and he dropped me home and one thing led to another - we kissed. We spent the night on my couch in the living room, cuddling. No sex, no smooching. In fact, for some strange reason my spirit felt I should not have sex with him yet. Later on he would start to push but I held on for as long as I could.
The following week I got a message that my mom was ill and I had to travel to Benin. He was with me and on impulse, I asked if he had been to Benin before, he said No. I asked if he wanted to come with me and he said “Of course!” Stella, this is how this guy followed me to Benin 2 weeks after we met, visited my parents and we even had dinner in my house. I had told my mom he was just my friend at the time. He was very respectful, and was a good guest. He stayed in a hotel near our house and my dad’s driver dropped him off there after dinner. The next day I got a call from the office and we had to leave Benin very early back to Lagos.
It just so happened that since our trip to Benin, he was always at my house; so much so that we were basically living together. We would go to his place occasionally when I didn’t have light and I didn’t have money for diesel. We would get ready for work together in the morning; he’d drop me at my office then head to his. In the evening he’d pick me up and we would go home together.
A week after our trip to Benin, we came back from work one day and he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. I was overjoyed. It was such a sweet moment. Then the pressure for sex began. I tried to explain my feelings about waiting but he later confessed to me that his friends had been pressuring him; that how could he really be sure of me; after all it wasn’t as if I was a virgin. We had started talking marriage plans and we settled on Easter next year. I met his mom, siblings and extended family. His dad has been out of the country so I haven’t met him yet.
The first fight we ever had was on this sex issue. That day I cried. In the night, I gave in to him. Exactly 1 month after we met. I remember asking him to use protection but he said not to worry, that he would use the withdrawal method. But somehow he came in me a little.
Was I worried? To be honest I wasn’t. Stella, for the past 8 years I haven’t had so much as a pregnancy scare. A fiancé broke up with me in 2011 because he insisted I conceive before the wedding. We tried everything. In 2015 I went to see a popular fertility Doctor and he confirmed that my egg reserve was low and IVF was my best option. Since then I’ve tried to bring up my fertility issues with potential suitors early enough in our friendship so that if it’s a deal breaker for them, they can back out before things get too serious.
I don’t know why God decided to remember me but Stella, I found out some weeks ago that I was pregnant. ME!!! That had given up all hope of ever being a mother. I had gone for malaria test because I had been so ill, and when the Doctor told me I just started shaking and crying. It was a task getting through work to get home to call my boyfriend. He had travelled to Accra for a conference.
When I first told him, I could feel his shock on the phone. He said when he gets back we would figure it out. That whole week, waiting for him to come was torture. All of a sudden the frequency of his calls and messages started reducing. I was worried.
When he finally came, I picked him from the airport and we went to his house. He was behaving so distant. He gave me some gifts he bought for me and we fell asleep. Suddenly I woke up, got up and picked up his phone. My spirit told me everything I wanted to know was in there.
God. What I saw till today I’m still shaking. This man who said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me was calling me derogatory names to his friends. They were discussing how he would convince me to have an abortion, and why I was so eager to get married. His cousin said I probably wanted to marry into their family for money or name! I was shocked! I earn more than he does and even lent him money on several occasions , but he was agreeing with his cousin! Let’s not even mention the chats between him and several girls he had sex with on his trip, and the ones in Nigeria he was toasting.
I dropped his phone and found my way to my house. To cut the long story short Stella, that night I called him and told him what I saw in his phone. I asked what he really felt about my pregnancy. He said pointblank that he wanted me to terminate it. He didn’t apologize for the other things I saw.
I cried and called his mother, who told me to come see her the following day. Stella, this woman looked at me and said to my face that “Pregnancy must not lead to marriage “. Wow. This is someone who calls me all the time and prays for my relationship with her son. What is even saving me now is that when we met and were living in my house together, I saw my period and we were together all through the time I supposedly conceived. Which is why he couldn’t even deny it.
As it is, I am in Limbo. He doesn’t call or visit. He called sometime last week that he was coming to see me but he never showed up. I called but he didn’t answer. The mom sends me bible passages once in a while and calls to check on me. At 33, should I be considering abortion?? Never! God gave me this and I have decided to keep it, whether he wants to assist me through this trying time or not.
I still haven’t told my parents, who are devout Catholics. I’m 2 months gone. I don’t know what to do. The flat I stay in is owned by my father.
Stella what do I do? BVs please help me figure my life out. Love you all.
*I am not one to Judge anyone,people get stuck with pregnancy for various reasons and yes like you are being accused of,some is out of desperation to Marry...You are adult enough to know what your actions will lead to and financially capable to take care of the responsibilities....
It has happened and there is nothing else to say......
Keep the baby and dont try evacuating it......Congrats
God answered your prayers through him. Abeg have your baby jejely.
ReplyDeletePlease leave God out of a fornicating life. Except you are talking about "god".
DeleteGod says "flee fornication . . ." 1 Cor. 6:18, Rev. 21:8
God also promises to "work out all things for the good of those that love him . . ." Rom. 8:28
The fact is that is this poster loves God and desist from desecrating his temple which is her body,
then God will work out this situation of "pregnancy/motherhood without a husband" for her good.
Keeping the baby and repentance from sin is her show of loving God.
Please Miss Ess are you talking about "god of thunder" or amadioha, which one?
DeleteNa so you dey open legs dey fornicate dey call god, god, which god exactly?
The girl that wrote this post knows that she has made a huge mistake and you are trying
to justify it?
Anon 15:32,and 15:38May God Bless you so much,You Children will be a Blessing. The Devil has now made many People go astray,Many people are now Devil Pleasers.
DeleteMiss Ess she didnt pray 4 dis one, it just came n as an eye opener to her.
DeleteAnon mk una tk am easy fornication is not d only thing that'll lead people to hell. Last day go tell.
Poster born ur pikin. Uve a job n from ur narrative ure not from a poor home either. Tlk to ur mum. They'll b disappointed but will come around. Stop any form of contact with uncle 4 now. Difficult but try n pls stop attributing his wickedness to his tribe. A benin man can do worse. Goodluck.
DeleteHey sister! It is done already. Mistakes have been made but I don't believe that any human being is a mistake. That pregnancy is a human being. At 33 you are no longer a baby and no man or woman can pressurised into having sex if you don't want to. You are also old enough to know what unprotected sex can do. You know your cycle. Oh my! STDs are still many out there, why are we not worried about these things? Most of these comments now are not for you but for the next person thinking about or doing the same things you did. I am glad you have a good job. KEEP YOUR BABY. DO NOT TOUCH WHAT YOU CAN'T MAKE.You can never create a human being so you do not have the right to kill one.
Yes your parents will be disappointed, you will be mocked and laughed at, things might not go as planned but bear in mind that that baby was formed for a REASON. The reason I don't know but with time it will make sense. Go home and talk to your parents, tell them you are sorry, talk about the infertility scare, accept their anger, disappointment and rebuke but I know they will embrace you. Stop calling your sperm donor, it might be a bet with his friends to sleep with you. He is not ready to settle down and is still riding on his father's horse. It is appalling that his mum took that stand, it shows they never trully accepted and loved you. It is hard but what else do you want from the guy? He doesn't love or respect you. Keeping in touch will never allow you to concentrate and move on. I suggest blocking him off. Show him you still have self love and respect. Show him you are not desperate. Him coming around will not lead to marriage but to sex and lies, then he will feed his friends with the details. Hey sister! It is hard but you have to concentrate on work and your baby. DO NOT allow sentiments make you loose your job or affect your health. Tell me, if he apologizes for what he said, will you take him back? If he agrees to marry you, will you be happy? Do you think her mum wants you as a daughter-in-law? Are you desperate to get married? These questions are for you. BVs will not provide the answers but you. I wish you all the best. DO NOT TOUCH THE BABY! HE CAME FOR A REASON!
One month and sex without condom or at least tests. Thank God you didn't contact any STDs. Personally I wouldn't keep the baby but that's just me. I don't think anything is wrong with your fertility, the ex was the one with fertility issues that's why he was pushing for a baby.
DeleteBabe at 33yrs of age you are not a baby. You are financially cable of having that child and caring for it ,so please go ahead and keep it. Find a time and go home and tell your parents. Same thing happened to my elder sister and till date that's the only child she has. And she is 50yrs now.
DeleteThumps up Zikora.
DeleteKeep the baby. Get rid of the no-good, feeble minded, small dick, two-faced man biatch. You need a real man to father your child, not someone who has multiple sides depending on the weather. He is also a disease proliferator, looking for where to sew his herpes and other traveller's STDs. you dont need him. Let him be. Move on.
Deleteposter i feel so bad for you. the fact is you didnt know him well enough. chemistry and evrything does not mean it would have been a good relationship you might have found out later he was a cheat and broken up. but why did you not use protection? he could have had aids, ghonorhea etc only 1 month in?
Deleteyou are 33, but since they said small chance of baby in the future maybe you should have the baby. dont worry about the guy, it doesant necessarily mean hes a bad person, he just hasnt had the time to fall in love with or have any loyalty to you. he probably feels trapped. 2 months was too short a period to actually gain any compassion from his mum or family too. you are actually a stranger. of course they would think you are a gold digger, though they are wrong. what matters now is the loyalty to the child. will he accept the child? period.
have your baby. if you are worried about men not wanting you as a baby mama, just stay in shape after, bad as e bad you go abroad men abroad dont really care who has a baby. that is just african mentality. Nigeria is one tiny country in this big big world. you can find love and companionship anywhere. goodluck
I suggest you keep ya baby and take legal actions against him and his family to make sure they never come around ya child. Congrats on your child. Keep it. Love it and in future, be wiser in ya relationships.
DeleteIt will a waste of time to start telling you about how you had unprotected sex...blabla...
ReplyDeleteYou earn some money, you want to keep the child.
Ignore that man and his family. And focus on having a healthy child.
Tell your parents, if they ask who he is, tell them he is out of the country or maybe dead sef.
Bear the shame if there's any... your father might say you should move out of the apartment, move.
Don't become a baby mama taunting the man please.
Here is your cross; bear it.
Exactly!
DeleteDont become a baby mama that will be taunting the man.
You have made a conscious decision to keep the baby, and you must be prepared to bear the consequences.
Being a single mother is hard, and if i were in your shoes, i would have an abortion. You can still meet a better man at 33yrs, even 35yrs old. It depends on how you carry yourself.
My sister tried this and 7yrs later she is living in regrets because the man hasn't stopped reminding her he never wanted the baby from the get go, he always tells her it was her decision and she has to deal with it.
Forget about what you see/read via social media, being a mom is hard, being a single mom is even harder.
I wish you goodluck with your decision, and i hope you dont blame th man for not being there in future, it is your decision.
And nobody should even tell me he refused to use a condom. That's nonsense! Two ADULTS ENJOYED SEX, not the man alone, you should have taken care of the situation, seeing it's the woman who suffers morning sickness, labour pain, saggy boobs, stretch marks, weak pelvic muscles, sleepless nights etc.
Chop kiss! I’m a single mom and I need you to know that it is serious work!! I totally love and adore my son and he keeps me going. But just know that your life will change totally after the child. You will not only think of yourself , you have another human being to lie, think and plan for. There will be tasking days and there are lots of days that only your child’s love drives you. It keeps you going. You need to think through and decide this is what you want. You will think through nannies, as crazy and irrational as they can be to good schools and minders. School runs, medical insurance etc. the list is endless, but at the end of each day you feel blessed for the beautiful gift of your child. I pray God helps and guides you. E-love and hugs
DeletePls keep the baby and don't try terminating it.
ReplyDeleteMadam you pple will also say, one thing led to another and we kissed or have sex, please what's this one thing that always lead to another. I WANT TO KNOW.
DeleteI want to know too o... One thing is always leading to another... Hian!!!
DeleteWhy are men like this... Plz keep your babe
ReplyDeleteOga oo, please keep this baby already after the report that you c only get preggers through IVF and you go this. My dear its a miracle and thank God you are capable.
ReplyDeleteThe things we see when we go through their phones. Sometimes I don't even know which is better. Knowing problem not knowing worse cos they lead you on.
ReplyDeletePoster I think he feels you are trying to pin him with the pregnancy but at 34 he's old enough to want to settle down naw not like he's struggling. Biko keep your child. May your pregnancy journey be a smooth one with lots of understanding people around you. It is well.
To be honest, she should have known it was too good to be true when they were discussing marriage and thy hadn't even had sex yet. It would take an extremely religious man or a pathetic non-religious one to have such a thought process.
DeleteI have a huge feeling she really was desperate to marry and the guy took advantage of that.
Rambo ure correct. She practically dragged him 2 benin 2 see her parents 4gt d mummy is sick gist. Guy is not a doc. Sounds more like if u want 2 ve my pussy cm see my parents 1st n men can go any length 4 their foolish games.
DeleteShe shud ve her baby period. Nor b she start am.
Same here.
DeleteShe really was desperate and met a "yoruba demon" who led her on. I am sorry Madam, but this is your cross
A married man has asked to see my mum before. Brother did not know I had investigated him on facebook and found out he's married with 3kids.
DeleteSeeing of parents means nothing to me, except you are coming for introduction and coming to pay my bride price. Even then I will not still get pregnant till we are joined in a church as husband and wife.
At 33 this girl fell for this trick yakata.
You see them say, I met his mother, his grandfather, his ancestors even. Like that matters, so does the next girl they bring.
This one said the mum sends her bible messages, Giiiiiirrrrl...……. welcome to lagos.
@Rambo and tessbaby you guys don't get it! I had this discussion with my friend last night. There's a reason why Yoruba guys are termed 'yoruba demon'. It because when they want you, they face you. They are sweet, loving, caring, emotional, as long as you are giving them EXACTLY what they want.... and they usually do it with alot of girls at once. Don't complain, demand or stress and you're the best. The moment you change anything that inconvenienced them and they aren't ready, they do a 360! Especially these ones in Lagos. They fake romance so much that if you don't know your stance, you will fall. They are only consistent with the girl they like.
Delete@Rambo not all men are the same. I discussed marriage, fixed date, did introduction and traditional wedding before we slept together.
DeleteFor those who don't like the term 'yoruba demon' I wasn't the one who coined it. Please fight Google.
DeleteHahaha@Chikito,I guess the men from your side are angels,lol!!
Delete@lagos shopper as a matter of fact they aren’t! Didnt you see how two of them disgraced themselves and families in bbnaija2017? If you follow my comments you will know I don’t do ‘my own good your own bad’, I dey talk am as I see am for ground. Yoruba boys are just like that, you can’t say they really like you until they marry you put for house.
DeleteThis chikito girl no well at all. See the way she aptly described a Yoruba demon. Omo you are really experienced in Yoruba demon affiars
DeleteLol
@anonymous 17.19 but it was not under a month sha.
Deletewhat nonsense. how can you be planning marriage in less than a month? recipe for disaster
If i were you, i would have left him when he said his friends were pressuring him to have see with you. That show he has no mind of his own
ReplyDeleteExactly. That should have been a major red flag. How he even conceived of those words, let alone, uttered them is beyond me, and Aunty Let's Marry let it slide just like that. I guess the thoughts of appearing in Bella Naija beclouds rational thought.
DeleteI also thought the same thing 34 yr old man telling you that and you were doing what?
DeleteKeep the pregnancy. But seriously, i wonder how some people do it. U enter a new relationship, no blood test to confirm that u are both free from STD and the next thing is to start having unprotected s£x. AIDS, HERPE7 IS REAL!
ReplyDeleteJust shut up judgina
DeleteThis is not a matter of shut up dear. HIV is real. What about the genotype?/
Delete@Lolo
DeleteAre you a nymphomaniac?
@Posh
So a blood test is your free passport to forking and
admitting every Harry's "deek"?
Your tohtohs must be itchy and unstable!
See who dey talk... Blood test my foot 😎
DeleteLolo are you for real? The number of people with diseases walking around and you think she should shut it. I pity the men who mess around with some of you
DeleteCall her whatever you like...but what she said is the truth or can you advice your daughter to be opening leg up and down without protection,madam,lets leave sentiments and say the truth biko.alot are guilty of this though including me,but it doesnt mean we should not still say the truth
DeleteKeep your baby, surround yourself with positive people and take your mind off him.
ReplyDeleteYou mean deceptive people,why are women selfish you keep thinking of Biological clock but you don't mind bringing a Child in a crooked way while leaving the Child to suffer the shame and pains of being a Bastard.
DeleteDo you still call any child a bastard in this day and age? @anon 15:52.
DeleteFor the poster, the deed has been done. If you can go through with it, have your baby and be prepared to shoulder the responsibility because he has clearly said he doesn't want the child. I hope your family will be very supportive too. If you can't go through with it sincerely, weigh your options very well my dear and do what you have to do. I hope you come to a decision where you will keep it. All the best. If this is how it happened, that guy will live to regret it.
Do not terminate the pregnancy!Ask God for mercy,afterwards let your family be in the know of what is happening.It might not be an easy journey so you know. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteGod has already granted her Mercy,wetin concern God when she will be the one to bear the burden for the rest of her lives.God's laws are to make our lives easier,you are not helping God by being Upright,you are doing You and Your generations good.
DeleteNice saying @15:54
DeleteWhen opening legs, they think that God will suffer for not being obeyed?
I think you are capable of taking care of a baby so I will advice you keep it. Don't worry about his action there is always a day of reckoning. People like this will give the innocent Yoruba guys bad names. That child will be your testimony believe me.
ReplyDeleteBaby you are not "in limbo", you are in a limousine!
ReplyDeleteKudos for making up your mind to keep the baby. You have been played like every other Nigerian girl get played.
No player after scoring a goal stays in the goal post, he goes to his own side of the pitch and game continues. If you still open your legs, he will "pound" and move on.
Seems you had concluded on marriage to this man; so fast? You opened legs; should never have been done. If a man wants sex, he does not want you. Learn from this and move on. Hope "your spirit" is also telling you to stop fornicating?
All the best in your self-imposed nine month journey!
Girls taya me.
DeleteGuy go dey chop dey clean mouth
as long as una no wan learn una lessons.
Please keep your pregnancy... i wish you're my friend.. we'll rock this journey with happiness...
ReplyDeleteForget him... he'll come back to apologise.. Dont risk your chance to being a Mother
She doesn't need friends like you who would deceive her with sweet lies, she needs friends who will hurt her with the truth and make her a better person,if a man can follow you to your parents home then what stops him from marrying you? The sad thing is she will have the baby and still keep hunting for husband. Women act like having a baby is more important,but when their wish is granted,they will then realise having a husband is more important to them and will then abandon the baby to search for husband. Fish brains
DeleteAs in ehn,serious happiness. The mistake has been made already,thank God you are financially comfortable. Tell your parents, they will be angry but they will still love you. Rock your pregnancy and take care of your baby. Leave unku and his mother
DeleteYou took a man that hasn't proposed to you home? Hia, you dare not try that in my family. The first call to my parents was Daddy, mummy, so so person want's to marry, could you please do a family background check as usual.
DeleteYou don't take boyfriend home. How many are you gonna take home till one finally proposes. Una get heart oooo
Hmmm. The days are evil. Last last you will be alright. You know it’s a bit funny though and I’m sure you must be shocked with your self giving up the cookie just one month to meeting a guy. The games men play but it takes two to tango. Ask God for forgiveness though.
ReplyDeleteOne month is really too long to wait when there's already dinner, movie and park dates, at least, speaking from a man's perspective. So, what happens if she decides the guy is not the one for her after six weeks? Investment gone. Lailai. One month is an eternity
DeleteYou allowed a guy to sleep with you after just one month of meeting,hmmmnnn,i'm not judging you but i think you are grown enough to take care of yourself after sex since you didn't insist for condom.you're lucky it's pregnancy he gave you.like his mother said,that you are pregnant doesn't mean the guy must marry you,the relationship is just too early for that,it's almost like you tried to trap this guy with pregnancy as i'm finding it hard to believe this your story of low egg reserve,my advice for you is to keep your baby,if the guy wants to be involve in his child's life,allow him please,he may later have a change of mind and marry you but if he doesn,never mind,keep your baby,move on and be happy,and learn from this,that a guy is so loving and always there for you doesn't mean he loves you and he's loyal,some men are very good at deceiving women,don't make yourself a prey to these selfish heartless men,be over wise,wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous Bug
pls keep your mouth shut, just shut it. Who are you to judge her, I had a friend that had that same issue never knew what abortion was cos she was never preggy, trap what do you know what some people are passing through? So what is she slept with the guy after one month, have you not seen a girl that sex a guy after 4yrs of dating n still get dump? I understand her carelessly when you know na ivf be your matter. For that one month have you not read the closeness they had? Take your time oh n carry your fake worst judgina out of here.
Deletewait o,
DeleteWhy did you go reporting to the mother?
that's a show of desperation.
You wanted the mother to force him to marry you; and you would have agreed
to marry a player?
So if he comes now and asks you to marry him, you'd agree? what a pity!
Please learn from this and move on with the lesson. keep your legs closed until
a man pays your bride price. Pregnancy does not make a man marry you. The fact that
he chants marriage does not make him marry you. And please go for complete STI screening
so that you will be alive to raise your child!
Even after one decade of meeting, if he hasn't paid the bride price,
Deleteshe should not allow him to have sex. sex comes with genuine commitment!
Anon 15:50, only a foolish man will pay bride price before sampling his babe. In today's world where there are almost zero virgins? Why didn't the previous samplers pay bride price? Who be mumu?
DeleteYou shouldn't have even allowed him into your house. It was damn too early.
DeleteRambo my husband didn’t not Samome before he paid my bride price. He’s not foolish, but only a guy that respects God.
DeleteKeep that baby. He might come around he might not. Maybe he scared of commitment, if only the mum was on your side, just blank him, expect nothing from him, also you guys just met yourselves and trying to get to know each other, it normal for some men to freak out. If he calls pick, send messages reply.And also never take drink or anything from him cos some of these men are not loyal oh. Hope you're ready to carry that pregnancy alone, be a single mum but also be prayerful he might as well come around.
ReplyDeleteLater una go say Naija girls no dey chop p*nis?
ReplyDeleteIn spite of all the chronicles we read here,
once a girl hears "marriage", her legs are asunder and
tohtoh go dey run like tap. Tufiakwa!
Please keep the baby.
ReplyDeleteMay you not experience GTC it's traumatic
Ask God for mercy and take care of your self and the baby
Tiwa
Please and Please keep the baby. Do not terminate it. Explain to your parents, they will be disappointed in you at first but they will later come around and accept you. As for the guy, just let him be, if he comes around to accepting the pregnancy, fine and if he doesn't then so be it but please do not force him to accept it as he will make life a living hell for u.
ReplyDeletePlease keep the baby. If you need someone to talk to or some form of encouragement, ps send me an email. I'm 38 and a mother of 4 beautiful kids. I'm not a single mom but I understand you and can be a big sis to you this period. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteWhatever you decide, pls do not abort
ReplyDeletethat pregnancy.
A condom would have prevented all of this but no you boys and girls are fucking so allergic to condom right? Girls get a damn condom and keep in your purse, so that if he says I don't have a condom bring out yours. I remember telling my friends this same things years ago but they yimu me, only for these 3 ladies to get pregnant and be aborting up and down , go get a fucking condom a bottle of coke is fucking expensive than a damn condom.
ReplyDeleteCONDOM ADVOCATE!
I tire, I am 29 and I keep a big packet of condom in my drawer and atleast 3packs of postinor. I really don't care if anyone sees it and calls me ashawo.
DeleteI have a boyfriend iv been dating for 1yr and a half. No matter how much he grumbles and says how can I be using condom with my woman, do I not love him. I don't care, I stand my ground. Even when i go spend the weekend i carry condoms with me, so no story of not having.
I know a girl presently having this issue. The guy sends her a mere 20k monthly. And its like she's begging him to look after his own child. All the guys that approach her run when they find out she has a child. i can never beg a man, you want raw sex. You marry me.
how did a 33year old mature woman fall like a mugu like this.
Anon17:43 continue taking post in or ooo. By the time you find it hard to conceive, e go over you.
DeleteHypocrites
DeleteShut it at @uberhaute. Is it your conceive. I keep it as back-up incase condom tears or slips off.
DeleteIs it your body. Is your type that has had 10 abortions.
I refuse to force a child on a man before marriage.
Many people will abuse you, many will call you names but i want to beg you, please dont terminate the pregnancy no matter what.
ReplyDeleteAbort it. Having bsny with hediot is not beans
ReplyDeletePlease keep that pregnancy and without expecting anything from him, later you can tell ur parents.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what happens. Pls leave the pregnancy. Congrats.
ReplyDeleteDon't terminate the pregnancy please. Travel home and have a talk with your parents,they will definitely get angry but will come around.
ReplyDeleteAnd for the guy leave him alone. Build yourself,face your job and your pregnancy..you will scale through. Incase amebo people ask tell them you went to a sperm bank..shikana,cause the guy is as good as a sperm donor..
Children are a gift from God. I'm not a fan of abortion but the choice is yours to make. Whatever decision you make stand by it and don't look back. I wish you snooped earlier at least before having unprotected sex. All that glitters is not gold. #teamsnoopdog
ReplyDeleteAm in d same situation just that my bf and I have known each other for more than a year.we suppose to go and remove it last week Saturday, BT he went to Benin.hopefully this Saturday cos no money at all
ReplyDeletePoster, you have made the mistake already. Please, keep the pregnancy and damn the gossips. Let your parents know what happened and tell your story to people that will comfort you and not pull you down. Let this be a lesson for you in future. Be wise.
ReplyDeleteDon't consider terminating the pregnancy because of your history.
ReplyDeleteThat's how guys behave cute and sweet until they finally taste the cookie then you'll see their true self.
When he told you his friends said he shothave sex with you,that's when you should have closed your legs.A responsible man who loves you doesn't discuss your sexual issue with his friends.Please keep you pregnancy,7 months till delivery.May God see you through
ReplyDeleteFirst of all lemme congratulate you for the baby growing in your womb, I thank God for that cos only God knows what some folks have done to achieve this.
ReplyDeleteNext to this supposed boyfriend of yours, forget it, he is a scumbag, an idiot, a fool who will regret his actions when it is eventually too late.
You might have been/appeared desperate @ some point but I don't blame you for that, some points you meet someone who someone makes you feel you have found 'THE ONE' but end up founding out its all a dream. Forget him & focus on your baby & your health, your job & every other important thing.
Finally you wouldn't expect his mum to force him to marry you, pregnancy mustn't be the reason why you end up marrying someone, so she did nothing wrong by pointing that out to you. Hold no grudge against her, rather check if you can count on her support in which ever capacity she can offer.
Finally, happy pregnancy months, u will make a great mum, don't ever let any human talk you into abortion not even your parents, don't fall for any tricks, be strong, the Lord is your helper.
As a tip, of you decide to keep the pregnancy until full term - DO NOT WRITE FATHER'S NAME. Write mother's name ONLY and give her/him your surname. This will give you the upper hand when deciding what happens to the child, not the lying scamming Yoruba demon. When they come for their child ask them which one? That the child us yours please.
ReplyDeleteYou will thank me later.
Did did a Yoruba man break your heart? The poster did not mention the tribe of the guy, yet you concluded it must be a Yoruba man. Take it easy hun.
DeleteChikito you know you can comment without mentioning Yoruba demons all over the place.
DeleteDid they force you or any dumb girl for that matter to date them.
Some of you get played because of lack of sense. A man can never use me like this. This poster is too slow. At 33 you don't know this man is playing you. You are planning wedding with a man you have known for 2months. You now go ahead to open leg without protection.
Pls leave the Yoruba demons for the Yoruba witches to marry.
I'm not even married to a Yoruba guy but it's displicable how you reference people demon for your own lack of sense worth. Keep allowing men use you and keep shouting demon.
That guy probably has a serious relationship somewhere. She got played. Let her learn from her mistake. Next time if you see Yoruba you will run. Since that is what you want to hear by mentioning tribe.
Go for that edo man his wife celebrated their divorce in US. Maybe he will be better for you. Mshewwww.
@kemi ade let me help you since you think everyone is like you that cant read: 'Turned out he was the first son born to Yoruba parents and was a Lawyer who worked in his Dad’s firm. By the way I’m 33 while he’s 34'.
DeleteSo, please don't ask me any silly questions again. Carry your not-straightforward yoruba guys for head. Not all of us give them that much space. Ciao
By d way, my ex was Yoruba. By the time I was done shocking him, he was confused for at least 6 months. Demon ko, demonic ni.
DeleteI agree with you. guy is obviously a fuck boy. The 2015 dude may not have been a bad option compared to this Y demon
DeleteLollll Kemi Ade, face front o. Unless you feel like rolling in mud. This midgets' mouth is like iberibe, watery fufu. Always keen to insult her generations. Lmaooo.
DeleteI stand with his mum. Pregnancy should never be the reason to marry someone. This story is not exactly the way you painted it. Your actions show desperation even to the blind. You just met this guy. Even if he offered to follow you to Benin, you should have declined, instead it was you who suggested it. You had to call his mum? For what to happen exactly?
ReplyDeleteThe truth is you were already building castles in the air and guy man is very smart. Don't even consider having an abortion. Raise this child and you will forever be grateful you did. GOOD LUCK
Poster I read your story but I didn't get mad. I'm happy for you, it's not bad at all. Please don't abort the pregnancy. That baby is going to be a blessing to you. Please don't force him to be a father, don't taunt him or his family members, if they call good if they don't their loss. I know it's going to be difficult at first but when you get used to him not being there you'll be fine. Don't give your baby his last name, let your child carry your last name. The reason I said so is since his family is kind of influential they might want to fight dirty for custody later on. You are your strength be strong for your child don't let stupid man and family give you a negative pregnancy experience.
ReplyDeleteGbam! She should not even fill father's name. Just put ------ there, so you can avoid all the associated drama now and in future. If he decides not to be there for the child, when you marry another man (i believe you will) hopefully you will choose a better guy, so you change the child's name as you change yours. Na wetin babes dey do now. Not that you will want to travel with your daughter, they will be asking for fathers consent on top father wey no dey pay bills. Please don't slack on this.
DeleteI don't offer an opinion with how people use their private parts, because it's not my business.
ReplyDeleteBut I always wonder why women are so bloody daft when they meet men.
Your first red flag should have been the money he was constantly borrowing from you. Money that he never even returned.
Your 2nd red flag was when he told you his friends were pressuring him to have sex with you. What grown ass serious man says that? Seriously??? What kind of 'friends' are these? How did they know he hadn't had sex with you? And you used your ears to hear this? I'm so disgusted I'm literally shuddering. Didn't that freak you out and tell you something? That this leaky mouthed dude has been discussing the most intimate parts of the relationship with his 'friends'? Maybe even sharing videos and intimate pics. These type are everywhere. Them boku. But women 'in love' are always all shades of daft so kpele, take it as you see it.
Anyways cheer up, deed's done. You can afford to take care of the baby and you don't seem hard up since you're living in daddy's flat and have a great job according to you. So congrats!
PS: Please be careful, if he doesn't want the child, he will poison you or kill you if you refuse to abort. And don't say, ahh no my babym he is too gentle to do such etc etc.You clearly don't have sense. Go and read that post where somebody's son used his friend's heart to boil beans and ate it.
PS: If you plan to resign, please be a darling and bring the vacancy here. Thank you.
Poster e don happen sky nor go fall? Abeg keep d baby and if your office get branch outside Lagos seek transfer and concentrate on your baby. It is well abeg block d guy and any mutual friends una get. Thank God you can take care of yourself and d baby.
ReplyDeleteFirst, any sane thinking Mom will tell you the same thing his mother told you regarding the pregnancy including your mother!. From the story, if u the first he introduced to his family or if his mother was always praying for you, he must have said some good things about you to her, simply put, he might have good intentions.
ReplyDeleteTruth be told, you might have some issues he does not like about you, pls try and think inward.Abortion is not on the table..Pls dont abort!!! Talk to your F8 and move on with ur life. Thanks
When would some girls ever learn to love themselves...be selfish in your love...Men think of themselves,thats why they will sleep with you ..dust up their ass and move on with NO attachment! You, woman sleeping with a man not your husband whats in it for you???Think Think Think! Make your choices bearing in mind its consequences. He who has ears let him hear!
ReplyDeleteMy dear after the infertility scare don't abort this pregnancy. Thank God you are well to do so you can take Care of this baby on your own, I'll advise you cut ties with the dude and family and focus on your child...congrats
ReplyDeleteSorry I'm posing innreply to this comment I couldn't find the individual comment section... I know I'm late but I didn't even finish reading I had to pass my comment.
DeleteSisters you better listen up together with poster!!
Dear poster you could've made this whole love story up in your head oooo ... the way you painted it so sweet!!!! There are always 3 sides to a story my dear your side my side and reality / the truth. There are always the signs and for you it was the pushing for sex thing.
The way you said you were gisting all day hope you were not there telling him about the type of man you want or desire because men will pretend to be that guy they will ride you until your wheels fall off ...
Your honesty probably made him believe he can use you and most importantly you will never get pregnant for him so stress free or pressure free using til he's done
A real man at 34 wouldn't mind no sex because that one is definitely ready to settle and KNOWS what he wants. This is why if someone has reached that age my sisters question him if he's not settled or fathering children nobody wants to be taking kids to pre-school at 40
LADIES it does not hurt to be GOOD it does not hurt to set boundaries and do things right this predicament would not even be in contemplation if you had stood up in your Godly stance and done things right it's never a bad time to do right biko !!!!!!!
Please do things right Ladies
Poster keep your child if he wants to move out of the picture find a stepfather for that child it happened but Gods timing is never a mistake !!!! He gave you that gift not man! Better nurture it it willnring God glory
The man is an asshole at this point of you keep him in your life na you enter onechamce woth your two eyes
everything happens for a reason. keep the baby and be happy it wont be easy but you shall overcome it
ReplyDelete