Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chimamanda Adichie Says Opening Of Doors Should Be Both Ways And Not Just For Women

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Friday, June 08, 2018

Chimamanda Adichie Says Opening Of Doors Should Be Both Ways And Not Just For Women



Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was a guest on Trevor Noah’s show where she touched on topics like chivalry.





The celebrated author said chivalry, for example opening doors for people, shouldn’t be gender-based and women should also open the door for men.

She said this shouldn’t be so because there are women who are stronger than men, and as such, priority should be placed on the weak and young not based on gender.

She told Trevor Noah:

“I think gestures like holding the door shouldn’t be gender-based. I think it’s a lovely thing to hold the door but we should hold the door for everyone.

“Like, I hold the door for men and for women. And so I think the idea of someone holding the door for a woman because she’s a woman… I have trouble with it.

“I’m quite happy for people to hold the door for me. But I’m like, hope they’re not doing it because of this sort of idea of chivalry.

“Because chivalry is really about the idea that women are somehow weak and need protecting. But we know that really, there are many women who are stronger than men.”

Speaking of women being thought of as weak and given preferential treatment in crisis situations, the writer said:

“So really, what I think is that the people we should protect are people who need protecting, whether men or women.

“Which is also why I sort of have trouble with the idea of women and children. When women are classified in the same… I mean, when there’s a tragedy and we say, women and children should leave first.

“I think, actually, it’s the people who are weak, unwell, young… who should leave first.”
from informationng.

74 comments:

  1. I’m a woman, a highly accomplished medical doctor and director in my organisation. I will hold open the door for anyone coming behind me because it’s the polite thing to do. However I still like to be treated like a queen and would appreciate my man opening/holding doors for me when we go out. The woman is chatting nonsense. She needs to calm down.

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    Replies
    1. This woman has really lost it. She needs to tell the world she prefers to be a man instead of chatting rubbish all over the place.
      Chiamanda or whatever you call yourself, please speak for yourself and not for us women because you sound like a crazy person.

      Delete
    2. Nigerians are over sensitive sha. Why do you want to shut her up when she's only saying her mind? We all have different opinions of life so i don't understand the uproar over this woman's comment, it's not like she held a gun to your heads and forced you to live by her rules so i don't get it 🤷🏾‍♀️

      Delete
    3. Madam accomplished, we hear you.

      Delete
    4. Oh high and mighty medical director, it's called an opinion. Something that everyone is entitled to. If you don't agree with her opinion, that's fine. I could very well say you are chatting nonsense as well, while reading your opinion. But I won't, because even though I may not be a high flying whatever whatever in my organisation, I do have some manners.
      *and no I'm not Chimamanda.

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    5. You saved me the stress. #apt

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    6. She’s saying the same thing, don’t get it twisted. As an accomplished medical doctor and director, go back and read the article again for a deep understanding..

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    7. Jelousy people I agree with anon 10.13.
      Dr has worked hard to get to where she is, she is established and wealthy yet she still wants to be treated like a queen.
      Why will that statement make some people uncomfortable..
      Dr I agree with you and will take your words with much respect than I will from Chimaamanda.

      Delete
    8. This chidimanda is doing the most nowadays. And who told her women don't also open doors for men and even a fellow woman as courtesy.
      I do open doors and hold elevators for men coming after me as a sign of courtesy.
      I offer seats to pregnant women,I offer seats to old men or even a young man with a baby or someone that looks ill. Women do this all the time. It shouldn't be a topic.
      Why won't they evacuate women and children first. Will they evacuate a 6month old baby by itself or who wld take care of the child. A weaker man that knows nothing about kids.
      Pls we women are not complaining. I will be damned if I went on a date and the guy doesn't have the courtesy to open the door for me or give me his jacket when I'm cold. It's all part of wooing which women enjoy.
      Pls since we want chidi's kind of equality pls let's be sharing everything 50/50 with the man in the house. Pay half of the rent,half of the kids school fees etc. And when your tire gets flat and you are stranded. Pls reject help from any man in changing it so you don't feel weak. And if your husband wants to take few years off work to raise the kids don't complain. That may be his calling. Your own calling may be to be the provider while he is the house-husband.
      A man has his role, the woman has hers. Some things can't be interchanged. No one is weaker than the other. A woman can't protect the home the way a man can. A man cannot nurture a baby the way a woman can.
      Throughout my working career I have never faced discrimination.in my company there are even more women head of departments than men. We all rise and get promoted as at when due.
      A guy me and him even started together I was promoted before him. Maybe some women have experienced gender based discrimination, I can't take the fact away that it exist. I have never just experienced it.
      Chidimanda we are in 2018 pick another struggle biko. We have gone past all this.

      Delete
    9. I guess you all are misunderstanding the opening of doors issue. Sure she wasn't talking about holding door for people coming after you, which is the polite thing to do. When you hold doors for people coming after you, most times you don't allow them to go in first, we hold, when they get to the door, you go in and the person comes after.

      What I think Chimammanda was referring to was some guys do hold doors for ladies coming after them, and then allow them to go in first, some even say ladies first when you insist. This happens to me alot a lot at work. Most of my male colleagues hold doors for me and then insist I go in before them. To be honest, I don't find it disrespectful, it's just courtesy from well trained men. I do hold doors for anyone coming after me but normally go in before them.

      In addition, Chimamanda's said she has issue with the intent not the act. In other words, don't hold the door because you feel women are weak.

      BANK.

      Delete
    10. Lolll is it that people are intentionally dumb or its a genetic thing??? Chimamanda isn't asking you to follow her lifestyle or even agree with it. She's just stating her opinion. Why are women all shaking like jellyfish under hot water? Have you noticed that men are silent? Because it's an opinion. In other words just calm down and keep doing you. That's all.

      Delete
    11. @Bed&roses, I would have said you have sense but this one post is not enough for me to conclude. Hehehe

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    12. Bed and roses plenty hugs for you

      Delete
    13. But we are also stating our opinions anon. is that not what feminism is all about. My right as a woman to choose. We can interpret what she says as we like.
      Let Chimamanda live as she deems fit and let us as women live as we deem fit.
      Who told her there aren't certain women that love being a damsel in distress. It is their choice.

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    14. Beds and Roses.... more hugs for you also

      Delete
    15. Stella stop eating my comment. This woman is a butch lesbian who wants to be a man. Shikena.

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    16. She really needs to! This whole Feminism movement has gone crazy!

      And I’m also a well accomplished hardworking female

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    17. Bed abd Roses I just love you.

      Please can somebody tell Chimamanda that women are not complaining about opening doors?
      She is beginning to sound lost these days. She's losing it.

      Delete
    18. Chima 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
      Bed and Roses how i love your comments 😗😗😗😗😗😗😗😗

      Delete
    19. Too much talk,from Adichie. Even when it comes to my brothers, I allow, expect them to show chilvary for their sister -me- , talk more of the man in my life!

      If she doesn't like to be pampered, I do.

      Next!

      Delete
    20. Anon 11:26 - how can you even determine someone’s intent! Ilaw, we say that even the Devil does not know the intents of a man. So how can you then intensely fashion out such arguments based on intent. That’s presumptuous. You’re assuming that’s why the person is carrying out a certain action and that says more about you than that person


      #foodforthought

      Delete
  2. So this is what she said and Twitter people are going in as if she said “men shouldn’t open doors for women” when all they are relying on is excerpts from her speech. Chimamanda, should keep giving them headaches. Comprehension is really a problem in Nigeria.

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    Replies
    1. No she’s giving herself headache...
      Chimamanda will keep deceiving u people and go home and cuddle with her husband n child

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    2. They feel like talking now. Most of them have issues with comprehension.

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    3. The headache is your inability to comprehend the excerpt which is enough to artive a conclusive understanding of argument or thesis. One important, I mean very important ‘thing’ Chimamanda ignores in her argument is physiology. Yes, there are many strong women out there, stronger than men, but to what ratio to men? Chivalry is not just for the sake of politeness, it goes beyond that. It is about the true nature of our being. Not just a social construct. Her counter natural disposition argument is just a kind of cosmic disruption. If we decide to live and apply such notion to life, it will only cause us civilizational and behavioural conflict especially for the generations to come. Theories are not practical.

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    4. Well said.gbam on point

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    5. @Anonymous10:56, normally, I understand most English words. Though my French is still very rusty, I comprehend the language better than this your imgbatigbati.
      No doubt your tenses and grammar construction is top notch, but please bring it down to earth for everybody to understand next time. No be all of us get dictionary for phone or office.
      PS. This my lecture is boring, I will use my time here to read blog until closing today. Hehehe

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    6. Most of them will never achieve what sh es accomplished

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. May be I am wired differently but not even this woman says is true and perfect (even with a PhD) same way not everyone loves Beyoncé’s songs

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  4. Enough of this already. She is really stretching it.

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    Replies
    1. She is not. It’s just a polite thing to do, whoever approaches a door first, hold for the next person.

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    2. I always find it funny that a woman who gets to a door first will wait a few seconds for a man who a man who clearly steps behind her to catch up and open door for her...as the cripple that she is.

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  5. Very good responses.Since feminism means equality for most people then chivalry should go both ways as no gender should be considered weaker than the other.


    LEP😛

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  6. I love chimamanda but she's really going overboard with this feminism of a thing... SMH

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  7. All I know is if Chimamanda were here, her career would have been dead on arrival. This is a country of educated dunces. Critical thinking and comprehension is rocket science.

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    Replies
    1. Very correct😂😂😂

      LEP😛

      Delete
    2. Honestly,people are getting ignorant everyday despite the fact that Internet is available! Comprehension oooo my people !

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  8. Some people will not undertsnad this now and go on a ranting spree.
    It simply means that you should open doors for PEOPLE cos you are empathic. Not cos they are female and viewed as weak.
    You can open the door for a sick person.,A pregnant woman, an elderly person, a child, A person. Just do it cos you want to help. Not because you think it is an act of chivalry. Rescuing a damsel in distress kinda thing.
    If I see a stranger(Man) struggling with a taxi door, I would stop and assist.
    Its just a summary of being Humane.

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    Replies
    1. Best comment! Abeg tell the educated illiterates. The so-called accomplished medical doctor is up there languishing in her ignorance. Weak and selfish vessels..

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    2. Iphie but people do this already. Its a non issue, I open doors for old people, both sexes, I open for a man carrying a baby.
      In all this her talks, I am yet to see one change Chinamanda has lobbied for women as a feminist. What laws/ bills has she changed, what causes has she championed.
      Let her use her voice for women causes, disadvantaged girls etc then I can take her serious as a feminist.

      Delete
    3. Darling, I’m honestly tired of people and their need to always pick one part of a discourse to analyze rather than the whole context with which that point was made. They keep telling her to shut up as if she invites her self and ask these questions. If Trevor didn’t invite her and asked that question she wouldn’t have had a need to respond.


      In Falz voice “person wey no get work dey check if my watch na original”.

      Delete
    4. Ogbeni dats not what u mean and its u who don’t understand but want to feel like u understand....
      She’s practically trying to coin out anotger meaning of chivalry and trying to equate women and men as the same link...
      Chimamanda is getting full of herself nowadays...let her keep confusing u people while she goes home to ger husband who opens d door for her

      Delete
  9. They opened doors as a sign of respect na. Love me some chilvary Biko. Love Chimamanda too.

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  10. The way people misinterpreted her speech I had to watch it many times to know if its the same video everyone has
    From my understanding she's saying holding the door for a lady ain't bad as long as the guy is not doing it because 1)he thinks she's a woman 2) he sees women as weaker vessels.
    In totality is should not be gender based

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  11. I am in support of what she said helping the weak, sick, and vulnerable not based on gender. imagine this scenario where there is a need to help or open doors for an elderly man or a young pretty lady. who would you offer assistance to at that particular moment. Think about it. People should read and comprehend first before criticism,

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  12. Chimamanda is gradually running mad by turning herself into an "angry black" woman. The other day she was criticising Hilary Clinton for some nonsense issues & here now she's saying women should be opening doors for the men. Meanwhile behind closed doors to the general public, she's happily & legally married...oh & mother also to a child in a legit family home life. Talk of a hypocrite, Chimamanda is one crazy hypocrite who is misleading black girls & ignorant women with her brand of very dangerous "feminism something"

    Every girl & deserves a relationship where they r treated with respect, dignified, cherished, safe, protected & loved!!!
    Not to be fighting & challenging a man as enemy for some stupid & hypocrite ideology as Chimamanda brand of feminism.
    Follow her crazy ideas or listen to her at your own loss!!!

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    Replies
    1. thank you oh, even Beyonce that sang "to the left, to the left " and all is still living with Jay-Z after the cheating saga... Hmmm. All this feminists eeh

      Delete
    2. Just accept you’re the weaker vessel. There’s one gender in heaven. Chimamanda is right..

      Delete
    3. Both of you need to go back and collect all school fees paid from creche. Loll see how proud you are in your ignorance with your pot bellied heads.

      Delete

    4. @anonymous11:31 is the most foolish anonymous I ever witnessed. No, she's the most foolish anonymous in mother Earth.
      Are women not the weaker vessels? Do you claim to have same strength as a man?? The Bible acknowledges that you are weaker vessels........... this feminists shit is just a merry go round shit.
      You want more than equality, you want to dominate man without having the capacity.....onyeara

      Delete
  13. Can this woman stop being in my face already.🙄

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    Replies
    1. Lol 😀😁. I love to be treated like a queen Biko, pampered and all . I don't like this brand of feminism

      Delete
  14. Instead of this woman to just say she is a butch lesbian, she is covering up with nonsense talk.

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  15. Mrs. Chimamanda adichie, it is acceptable that in d face of tragedy, women n children should leave first, it doesn't mean women are like children....don't read unnecessary meaning into that phrase pls.
    Las las preek will still make una scream.

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    Replies
    1. Don't mind the shegoat. In time of war now, she will be the first to follow women and children gbaga. Her life is two-faced, do as I say, don't do as I do..... and na there most people go miss am!

      Delete
  16. She's compounding her woes tryna justify shit. She's a sick manipulator.
    In no distant future this bitch will say bride price is wrong and men shouldn't be the bread winner of the home.
    No need for maternity leave if there is not going to be paternity leave. Only a nitwit compares a man to a woman. If women are so strong then why don't they contest in sports with men.
    If any of my daughters ever turn up to be feminists, I will disown the rifraf without second thought.
    I have said t before and I will reiterate it again; all “Nigerian" feminists are scum. You think they are helping your gender but they are actually fanatics.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They spill this rubbish because no man wants them.

      Nonsense.

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    2. i pity who will marry a chauvinistic pig like you...some of you will never get her point

      Delete
  17. whatever makes her relevant...in as much as i understand what she really meant here, her opinion is women and men should be treated equally which is very nice to the ear, but in my opinion no matter how far these feminists go they will still find themselves at the starting point lol. its the nature of women to be treated as queens because of what we go through as women. we are meant to be loved and not looked down on because we are termed as weak. of course you can hold the door for a man "IF" that man in question is not physically able to hold the door at the moment for example carrying a luggage. I deeply appreciate Chimaamanda's opinions, but some women found love this way, they saw such men as Gentle men. so my opinion men keep holding the door for women.

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  18. Alot of bv's are very slow and unintelligent.

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  19. When there's war or crisis,women and children are considered for evacuation before the men,women didn't ask for that but that's just the right thing to do, you want to know why we have female sports teams playing against themselves? It is science, biology explains that men are stronger than women. That doesn't mean we don't have some few cases where some women are stronger than some Men.

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  20. It's obvious that most of you did not read the full interview or perhaps have a problem with understanding multisyllabic words so you latch on the the shortest possible sentences, look left and right for where te flow is and then jump in...and sink.

    I got this from Facebook, copied and pasted because I honestly don't have strength to explain the most basic things to people.

    Marian Mmili Onugbu Nwaokolo

    A pregnant woman is vulnerable.
    A sick old man is vulnerable.
    Someone with chronic sickle cell disorder is vulnerable.
    Suckling babies are vulnerable, that's why their mothers are rescued alongside.
    You will not leave these vulnerable people and come to my rescue before rescuing a man just because gender.
    Or are they supposed to die first because they are men?
    The fact that we have to break this down for you is worrisome.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls during a fire be sure to tell your husband to be evacuated first. let you and your baby remain last.

      Delete
    2. Simply put “treat every one equally and with respect irrespective of gender” don’t get to a door first as a woman and wait for a man to open it for you because he is a “man”.

      King Stella, next time post the video because reading is really a problem at least some people missing the point might be able to understand a bit of English when spoken.

      Delete
    3. You is a very rude ‘child’!!!!!!

      Delete
  21. Auntie chi' I am waiting for when you will say ladies shouldn't expect upkeeps from their boyfriends and men should no longer pay for bride price anymore because it is chivalry.

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  22. THERE ARE DIFFERENT KIND OF FEMINISM

    CHIMAMANDAS KIND OF FEMINISM FAVOURS MEN

    SHARE IN WIVES SALARY

    NO NEED TO BE BREAD WINNER, LEAVE AM FOR WIFE

    LAY CLAIM TO THE HARDWORK AND SWEAT (PROPERTIES, INHERITANCE, SALARY, BIZ PROFITS) OF WIFE, AND YET STILL BE RESPECTED AND HONORED AS MR MAN.

    OLD GENERATION MUMS AND GRANDMUMS SILENTLY SUFFERED THIS, NEW GENERATION WOMEN DONT NEED THIS SAME FATE. chima dresses conservative and is married with kids, she appears like a fraud.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Nigerians o! Leave people to their opinions. Do you. This woman don hear am from una, make una leave madam Ngozi alone.

    ReplyDelete
  24. If everyone is treated equally, I swear, women will not like it.
    There are things I don't just like my female colleagues do. As sales team, I handle the driving, 80% loading and offloading. I can't imagine allowing my female colleague to do most of those things cos she's strong.
    Attending to customers and zealing the deal are her callings. Our combination is so synergetic and we achieve a lot as a team cos we all play our roles.
    I will even encourage her to take a nap while I drive, someone that her baby won't allow her to rest well overnight.
    Women.... If you want everything equally, we will give you but don't come back here and complain.
    Make up your mind and let's move on.

    ReplyDelete
  25. All these so called feminists and their chronic inferiority complex over their gender. Learn to truly love urselves as women. However u may hate to hear it, u are the weaker sex. If a man chooses to help u based on that, what really is the big deal? Who doesn't know that the sick, physically challenged, young and tender, elderly and the likes would take precedence over a capable woman, in certain circumstances, with regard to chivalry. Pls let's not get petty about this feminism stuff before it turns to a joke.

    ReplyDelete

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