As a plus-size and curvy girl, you tend to feel out of place - my body type wasn’t the hot thing back then. I just didn’t fit in. I became very self-conscious – I thought my hips were too wide… my bum was too big, and I was on the short side.
As a teenager, you are dealing with a lot, especially when it comes to self-identity and accepting yourself. And you often get confused about what beautiful is. My self-consciousness got so bad at one point that I had to cover up all the time.
As a teenager, you are dealing with a lot, especially when it comes to self-identity and accepting yourself. And you often get confused about what beautiful is. My self-consciousness got so bad at one point that I had to cover up all the time.
In the middle of summer, I would wear a light coat to cover up my hips, and people thought I was weird. Clothes shopping was a bit of nightmare, not to talk of shopping for lingerie. Most of the lingerie in plus sizes were quite unattractive; boring styles and colours with super thick straps. Sadly, inclusivity wasn’t such a big thing when I was growing up, you were basically stuck with what was available.
Later in life, I began to notice and research curvy/plus size models like Tabria Majors, Candice Huffine, Anita Marshall and Ashley Graham – her confidence is incredible! In an industry that is notoriously discriminating about anyone above a size 8, seeing this beautiful and curvy ladies flourish was magical. I was extremely inspired to say the least.
Later in life, I began to notice and research curvy/plus size models like Tabria Majors, Candice Huffine, Anita Marshall and Ashley Graham – her confidence is incredible! In an industry that is notoriously discriminating about anyone above a size 8, seeing this beautiful and curvy ladies flourish was magical. I was extremely inspired to say the least.
Being in the public eye also had a big impact on my ‘acceptance journey’.
I have been bashed and shamed about my body on so many occasions, I can’t even count. The first few times it happened, I was very hurt, because there was always so much venom behind the attacks, and I would be at home in tears thinking what did I do to anyone to warrant this? Unfortunately, this comes with being in the public eye, and I soon managed to get thick skin.
On the positive side, as I got more popular I began getting messages from women who admired me for being one of a few plus size women in the public eye. I would get messages from young women who had contemplated suicide because they looked different, and they were being bullied for that. They would write and say how seeing pictures of me boosted their confidence - making them accept themselves and their bodies. These comments made me realize that my presence and visibility in the industry was having a positive impact on at least a few people.
My experience strengthened me and gave me a voice - one which I have decided to use in empowering and boosting the confidence of plus-size women like me – those who are currently in a physical and psychological battle to accept their own bodies.
I am Tolu Oniru-Demuren. You probably call me ‘Toolz’.
Welcome to this journey with me.
On the positive side, as I got more popular I began getting messages from women who admired me for being one of a few plus size women in the public eye. I would get messages from young women who had contemplated suicide because they looked different, and they were being bullied for that. They would write and say how seeing pictures of me boosted their confidence - making them accept themselves and their bodies. These comments made me realize that my presence and visibility in the industry was having a positive impact on at least a few people.
My experience strengthened me and gave me a voice - one which I have decided to use in empowering and boosting the confidence of plus-size women like me – those who are currently in a physical and psychological battle to accept their own bodies.
I am Tolu Oniru-Demuren. You probably call me ‘Toolz’.
Welcome to this journey with me.
Loving yourself just the way you are is key.
ReplyDelete- Shut up
Delete- Watch what you eat/ eat healthy
- Hit the gym
1. PUBLIC EYE- I thought she works with a radio station so which public is she talking about???
Delete2. Omawunminis slim and curvy so stop making it look like fat is synonymous with being curvy.
3. 'Lingeries for fat people are look boring and unattractive'. - unattractive to who exactly or where you sleeping around. If I remember correctly, you got married last year or 2 and you've been fat since I knew you.
To the 2 anons, why so bitter?
DeleteAnon 13:54, my thoughts exactly. It's purely a case of hatred. Stop hating.
Deletepls just my observation- she photoshops all the photos she posts. I mean all!
ReplyDeleteIs she really fat?
DeleteThank You!
DeleteCynhams I met her once . but mehn she is fat . as in fat . but hey I love thick women , so I loved her
Deleteshe fat gan. In fact. fatishously fat!
DeleteWoman of substance.
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
Toolz,stop encouraging obesity!...
ReplyDeleteAnd who says you are hot and sexy?..
Hian
I miss ur comments
DeleteI love this comment!
DeleteLol
fools like you two are the ones who encourage this mumu to talk rubbish...in your stupidity you think everyone like skinny? how is telling someone to be comfortable in your body encouraging obesity? queen or house girl uncouth is your middle name...
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteBut she’s still photoshopping? 🤷🏾♀️ So who are you playing? Yourself or nvm...
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteNice one tools, I admire your confidence
ReplyDeleteHoney your fat-simple! lose the weight. Dunkin Donut fatty
ReplyDeleteYou are not your.
DeleteShe's big but she carries it well. That's all that matters. Fine woman.
ReplyDeleteYes,Toolz,embrace yourself and live healthy!
ReplyDeleteTolu Oniru what were you eating till you weighed 112kg, God forbid bad thing.
ReplyDeleteGo lose the fat you look like a whale
I have never commented here, however seeing your comment has forced me to. This is totally unnecessary, it's bitter and your haven't made a point or a difference. Don't bash people. Fat isn't healthy we all know that, I have been preview to her making efforts to be healthy through exercising..she's written a piece..its just a piece...
DeleteI am not fat either before you think I am san advocate for it. I am just appalled by your early Monday morning, negative bullying antics.
May God forgive you. I hope you are perfect...😏
DeleteHahahaha...Una no go kill me for here.
DeleteThis is sooooooo insensitive.
DeleteDo you think loosing weight for some people is easy. I have a friend like Toolz size with very wide hips. Her mum, her sisters all same shape with large hips. For some ppl its nature so its takes a whole lot to come down.
I can categorically say I eat more than this girl right from school. I and this girl attend a gym together. While me I'm doing the exercise lazily and crying to the trainer. She's all in and serious. Mornings she's on ikoyi bridge jogging at 6am before work. something I cant do.
She's like a size 16 now, down from about size 20. But she can hardly go below size 16 in trouser, that hips just wont go down, even though her top will go down, but the hips.
Luckily she has a very pretty face and a supportive husband.
Stop body shaming fat ppl abeg. Its this my friend that makes me know what big ppl pass through. She will juice cleanse, that one cleanse. Me that cant do without eating, yet I'm in shape.
Something its peoples biology, their metabolism is slow. So they have to work extra hard to loose weight.
Beds and roses
DeleteThere’s a difference between fat and curvy. Toolz is naturally curvy but unfortunately, she’s also very fat. Her hips are naturally wide but she’s also very fat. She needs to come down in terms of size, nobody is asking her to reduce the width of her hips 😂😂 look at josleyn dumas with her beautiful wide hips, nobody would ever call her fat irrespective of how wide her hips are because she’s simply not fat: flat stomach, trim arms and body. But you’ll be shocked if you see her before photos, she was almost as big as a whale.
Your friend that come down from a 20 to a 16 doesn’t have two heads. Losing weight is not easy at all and requires long and hard work. If only Tolu could just pity herself, she can achieve a much healthier weight. What I hate is when people who know that they can actually be better give up easily and tag is as “self acceptance”. That’s bullshit. They’ve just accepted to continue to live fat, unhealthy lives.
Anon 15:13 you are just an illiterate.If you saw Joselyn Dumas before pictures,your sense will tell you that she had Liposuction. Tools and women shaped like her can only loose few pounds and just exercise to keep fit and healthy.Unless she's going to do Lipo to get the skinny waist and wide hips that all those fake IG girls have now.Please talk with sense sometimes .
DeleteEeh yah!!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, the amount of bashing, shaming, hate and bitterness among Nigerians is alarming, especially for one of the world's most religious countries. Both from parents to children, from friend to friend, strangers to strangers, relatives and inlaws.. its just too much. Fine. Not fine. Ugly. Too tall. Too Short. Acne. Never. Blabla. The just concluded BBN is a case study. The game abi show is over, as in, it haff END but I know some that will carry the hate from it all to their graves. That's why many Nigerians become aggressive or defensive, defining strength as the ability to fight everyone around them. It is just a reaction to years and years of being shamed and bullied, years of verbal abuse. That's our sad reality. Heal, Nigeria. Breathe and heal!!
ReplyDeleteNa you sabi. We just don’t like what we hate.
DeleteWhy are you always yarning trash?
DeleteLol hot and sexzy
ReplyDeleteUpon all your preaching 'you love yourself, you are confident bla bla, you still photo shop all your pix to look curvy. Why don't you leave them like that if you are truly proud of your self? Mstheeew
ReplyDeleteMy dear
DeleteIf that’s how she looks real life, who would bash her? That photoshopped picture of her up there depicts her as thick, not fat. But real life she’s huge!
Thank you, was about saying same thing, if she truly love hersef or accept her fatness/biggy, she wouldnt be doing photoshopped of all her pictures.
DeleteSnap and post them simple. Then come back to preach about being proud of yourself.
If you have ever watch my 600 pound weight show -i swear you will hate fat people.How in God's name do pple eat to the extent of getting to 803 pound- fat is a disease, please if you are fat get help and lose the weight.
ReplyDeleteThat disgusting show. I usually asked myself that question, how would you literally eat yourself to stupor that you render yourself useless and immobile until I found out that they also had some sort of genetic disorder that made them gain weight astronomically plus their crappy diet doesn’t help matters at all.
DeleteI watch the show and I don't hate fat people. I only hate the fact that some people know the right thing but will not do it. I have struggled with weight myself. From being stick thin growing up to getting size 20 at one point. I am at 14-16 now. I fall by the way side in terms of eating healthy and exercising but I know what to do any time I look in the mirror and not like what I see. It's a struggle and we can only encourage people not body shame them.
DeleteI watch the show and all I feel is pity!!alot of people lack the will you and I have to push ourselves to be who we want to be.if u haven't been watching with disgust,ud see they all had a problem/lost someone before drowning in food,don't try to feel what they feel of think their thoughts,you are not them!!
DeleteShe should go meet the island doctors that burns their fat through surgery na.
ReplyDeletePlease, who are you fooling? After having plastic surgeries, liposuction, Brazilian butt lift, sculpting and what not, you people will come and be preaching body acceptance. Abeg shift may we see road. Acceptance ko, deceptance ni
ReplyDeleteSo true.... I can see some plastic touch up 😯
DeleteThe very same thing she is talking about you all are doing. Body shaming. Why? Must and can we all be a twelve and below. All yee key pad voltrons who look nasty in real life continu.
ReplyDeleteare you minding the foolish humans here.....they just sit behind keyboards and insult people anyhow...some people are just naturally plus sized and will always be big...big bones and all...i have a daughter who is almost 4 and already wearing size 30 shoes, wears almost 7 years clothes...meanwhile her twin is smaller and eats more than she does...so if she grows up and big sized one idiot will now come and be insulting her for being big abi..body shaming is a nasty habit and sadly some people who even call themselves good Christians do not consider it a sin.....
Delete12:58 lift this your comment and push it under Queen and Boss comment. Coward
DeleteSome people don't even eat much yet are so fat, and once you are on the big side, mehn it's not easy working out to be slim. It takes so so much of sacrifice, most importantly is for u to luv urself and have a good carriage because last last na small world and all na vanity
ReplyDeleteTolu dear as long as you love yourself the way you are,our opinions do not matter.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget to continue to eat healthy darling.I went from 99.8kg to 75kg,I gained some kilos(8kg) again this year but I'm giving myself a target of one month. I look so wonderful in my uk size 8 and 10 dresses.
Bv ada-lagos
Biko easy with the lies hanty hadaku!!! How can 75kg wear UK size 8? Even 10 will be tight. Chaiii hanty you can lie oooh.
DeleteU can never be 75kg and wear 8-10
DeleteImpossicant
Loll Aunty Ada I'm 58kg and I wear size 8. Maybe you meant UK 12-14 or US 10-12.
DeleteTo think that fat "orobo" was once in vogue in this nigeria. They made skinny people like me want to commit suicide. That was when people were taking dezacotin, wate-on, super appetit, cyprigold and even birth control pills to add weight! Chai, this life eh! Now, it's d other way around and people beg me to tell them d secret of my trim stature. And when I tell them there's no secret, some get angry. If only they knew what bullying I suffered back then. I'd gladly trade places with Toolz just to experience what it feels like to be "orobo" with huge breasts and ikebe for just one day. The ultimate secret is to be so confident and successful that people look and see beyond ur weight whether fat or slim.
ReplyDeleteTrue. @last sentence.
DeleteSo many wicked comments on here. Not nice at all. Who says she's not working on her weight? Everyone can't be slim na. Smh.
ReplyDeletedon't mind them. how do they know her hubby doesn't like big girls.
DeleteI know one Tope girl her husband dated before Toolz, shes also big with wide hips and big breast.
Nobody is talking about being slim. Just have a healthy weight and lifestyle.
DeleteI understand her joor,me that is lepa right from time that is how they looked down on me, until I added some Lil flesh & they started singing oh she's so fresh. You just gotta move on & keep being yourself
ReplyDeleteAkpa akpu better goan loose weight 🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteWhen they’re tired of taking slimming tea and diet pills that don’t work, they’ll comman be disturbing our ears about how they learnt to “love and accept their fat selves”. Oshisco to the power of 100🙄 Better hit the gym and invest in a personal trainer. Shebi una get money na😂
I'd really like to see how you look.
DeleteDefinitely not like a baby whale
DeleteYou may not look like a 'baby whale', but you sound extremely daft.
DeleteExtremely.
You've littered the comments taking petty jabs over and over. We're you dumped or sacked by a fat person?
Is this like payback time?
Are you ok now?
Oh and I'm not fat, I honestly wish I could gain a few pounds though.
Keep functioning ,impressive job!
ReplyDeleteWhats up very nice web site!! Guy .. Beautiful ..
ReplyDeleteAmazing .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds also?I am satisfied to search out numerous useful info
right here in the put up, we need work out extra strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing.
I think this site holds very good written content blog posts.
ReplyDelete