This post is not gender selective and requires responses from both sexes.
What are the Challenges you are facing in your Marriage and why are you still in that Marriage if it has crashed and contains Violence?
If you walked,at what point did you walk?Did you get any support from Families or they asked you to go back?
There is no perfect Marriage,the only difference is that for some,the good times are more than the bad times,for some there are no good times...
You dont need to use your ID's for this post...Sometimes it feels good to talk without a face....
Mmmmmhhhhhhhhhh, this one na anonymous day post?
ReplyDeletelet the spilling begin
Pls oh...am single so i want to learn...pls tell us how to prepare before we chook head
ReplyDeleteAdvertisement
DeleteMarketing strategy specialist
Na dat name you go carry marry
You think say marriage na only fuck dey happen there?
Anon 14:42 It's obvious you just wanted to type something
DeleteAnd she really typed something reasonable!
DeleteWediehere
DeleteNa siddon dey look I dey as I never marry.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, my marriage is bliss. I remember when I was dying for my ex till God blessed me with this young caring man. He worships me and kisses the ground I walk on. Thank you Jesus! I must have something really right for God to bless me with my husband. His family loves me too! His mother doesn’t ever ever jokes with me. Do not allow tontoh and Churchill discourage you singles out there. Wait on the Lord and He will bless you. Did I mention that I married late too, at 34 when most of your friends were married. I had suitors, rich, poor, name them, but I didn’t want to settle. Thank God I didn’t. My husband loves me more than I do though, that’s what I wanted.
ReplyDeleteI like this your tori o...It teaches about the advantage of being patient. And that we should go for a man that loves us more than we do (mum told me this before😆)
Delete👏
DeleteYours is 34, mine happened at 36 just last month. I'll talk less before I'm decoded. I really must have done something excellent in my past life. He adores me, the way touches, speakes and treats me. We are friends, we tease, fight lovingly, quarrel like he-goats and gossip like pigeons on heat. I mean it's early days but today is beautiful and I pray it remains like so. We are far from perfect, we have dreams, aspirations and goals. Importantly we share very similar life principles. We are selfless but we love quality living. We aspire for growth and progress but yet very grateful and contented with the little we have today. He is not as tall as I would have liked but he says to me: you were getting impatient so God had to dispatch....I can go and on but most importantly is: ladies pls do not be impatient, look good and clean within your means, be genuine and offer your honest friendship to those around you. You don't know who is watching. Babysit for a friend for an entire day let the mum have a rest. If something is on sale and it's not your size- buy for soneone else. Just be nice and expect nothing in return. Your God who sees in secret ...Lastly do not allow society criteria govern your choice. Did I mention, i'm a single mum...hubby fresh from the oven.... I'm tossing petals of marital bliss to all and sundry. Less of marital murders. xoxo
DeleteThank you momma 👌
DeleteAnonymous 14:10, thank you for your post. I just want to correct one thing, you DID NOT marry late! You married at the correct time!
DeleteAnon 14:10, glad for you. It will continue to be like that.
DeleteAnon 15:22, wow! Thanks for sharing.
God bless both homes.
15:31 Gbam!!!
DeleteI have similar story here too, i served my married friends wholeheartedly, babysat, celebrated with those wedding, did plenty asoebis, and at His own perfect time, God blessed me with the most amazing man. singles srike off desperation, be patient and watch God do it.
DeleteMarriage of 1 month. Lol. Honeymoon phase. Come back 10yrs
Delete@jumiakundipe it can feel like honeymoon even in 10years,may your joy last forever poster!!
DeleteJumiakindipe At least she has a month of bliss,not everyone gets that so instead of being foolish be happy for her and wish her well
DeleteAmen! I know God will bless me with a good man soon
DeleteAwww 😍😍. May God continue to keep you guys together. Congratulations
DeleteI didn’t get 1 day of bliss. I feel very choked.
DeleteThese these testifiers are obviously young in marriage. Can we hear those of 5 years and upwards?
DeleteI love this.
ReplyDeleteThis is a particular topic I'm keen to learn about,Marriage looks and sound scaring nowadays..I just wanna ve kids and not be under anybody,but my family wouldn't have it my way😳😳😳...
ReplyDeletePlease married peeps should come and enlighten unmarried peeps like me..lemme bring out my ipad to jot😆😆😆na afternoon school be this so😅😅😅
Emjay bring me chilled fanta abeg
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteScaring, you said?
DeletePlease if I understood sdk, this post isn't for singles to advertise they are 'not married"
Deleteit is for married to share experiences; hope I'm right?
Anon 15:56 is it your advertisement??? Leave me lemme advertise in peace biko.
DeleteAnon 15;56 as na u buy phone for us
DeleteHi dear! Marriage is BEAUTIFUL! No one is under anyone but WITH. Pray to marry your husband and possibly a man that would love you more than you love him. Try to ditch that perfect an list in your head too. My marriage is over 5years and you would think we're still boyfriend and girlfriend.
DeleteThis brings back sad memories. If I start to talk. Hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteI once shared my chronicles here.
Let me come back and read comments
Reading mode activated.
ReplyDeleteIf you're here to learn like me...let's take a çelfie
ReplyDeleteThis will be interesting..... Oya ooh our married bvs over to you. Me too want learn.
ReplyDelete..as for my marriage, village people knew my correct address from the 1st year, i warned my then fiancee not to share the booletin with our faces on it in that village, i could already see their faces saying "we'd deal with you" i prayed and we went back to the city, the 1st night of our arrival, electric fault in our apartment, just us oh on that street, hubby dont believe its all a sign, he keeps saying im too superstitious.. i kept firing prayer & things stabilized & i forgot all about my suspiciion.
ReplyDeleteThen a single lady moved to the self contain next to our 2bedroom, shes my husbands spec, im not exactly his spec, according to him marrying ur spec as priority is not a smart move, he married me cus we were compatible and i was homely & we worked as a team, but as i saw her, chei my heart did jigi jigi.. i didnt say anything sha, then couple of weeks i noticed she hates to wear bra wen drying her clothes outside or she'd tie towel to do one thing or the other outside, same time my husband is washing car outside, id just be boiling secretly, i told him my fears and he laughed, sayin he cant think of such, but he admitted thats his spec... conti
Ur husband gave u complex issues
DeleteBulletin.
DeleteThe problem started immediately I lost my life savings along with my job.
ReplyDeleteMy wife changed completely, from following men to hotels, bringing her home in their cars, to threatening me with separation, since it was not working again. We changed location and she gave birth to our second child, shortly after the first year celebration,madam came up with separation line again, simply cos the financial situation refused to improve to her taste.
I had to give in to the separation request cos I saw hell during this period of being broke.
Funny enough, she's still not happy with her life despite being financially OK. Money doesn't bring happiness, lots of things are invoked. I just feel sorry for the kids cos they are at the receiving end.
In case, you wanna know if we can come back, YES we can but that will be in the FAR FUTURE... If she wishes.
I have tasted freedom, can't go back to that lifestyle in a hurry. So many things must be put in place.
For my children, I love them like kilode! God will bless them for me
Amen @ last paragraph.
DeleteTruly, money doesn’t always bring happiness.
I am from the middle belt of Nigeria, i never really dated my wife before marriage..she was recommended by my mom...I just went ahead cos of the assurance from my mom, i initially didn't want to go with her cos I was used to the flashy kinda babes but here she was just bare, light make up...we learnt to be friends in marriage and honestly she was everything my mom said, we have been married for 7yrs with 2 kids and she has been respectful, very loving and understanding....we operate more like siblings and the love grew stronger overtime.....I have dated several girls before I met my wife but none is more honest, sincere, down to earth and loving like her...our marriage had brought so much blessing especially financially...This marriage is one thing i am greatful to my mom.
ReplyDeleteWelldone... you're a good son and it paid off.
DeleteYou’re a good man, and your good mum will live long.
DeleteI am very sure you are an Igala man, my uncle is also enjoying his marriage today because of my mum
DeleteI am very sure you are an Igala man, my uncle is also enjoying his marriage today because of my mum
DeleteYes...my brother...anon 17:11 na idoma man...abeg igala people are too diabolic
DeleteLie lie advertising fuck you. Na idoma people occultic and diabolic abeg. Stop spreading rubbish lies.
DeleteI'm really interested in this. I have been single for a couple of yours now. Ready to give relationships a bite but it seems I don't even know how to go about it.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I've discovered is that there is no manual for relationships and also, I have subdued my 'checklists' while praying that his will alone be done.
No one should choose a spouse with the human wisdom, as it has led many astray, me inclusive.
God help me on this journey
Stella I hold on because of my kids, I have shop but not enough goods to cater for their needs, he cheat with his sales girl and still confirm it, the girl is still working with him, he refused to sack her am now an object of ridicule in her presence, he even stop me from coming to his office, whenever I ask him money is problem, I can't go back to my parents house because they are leaving from hands to mouth, where can I go with my three kids? What do I do? Only God in his infinite mercy can wipe away my sorrow.
ReplyDeleteMarriage sha mtchewww biggest mistake I ever made wish I listened to the people who tried to advice me. My man can be caring one minute and the next he is beating me in public and in split seconds he is prostrating and begging its the devil.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't pay school fees, and when he is suppose to drop feeding money for the month i will start hearing stories and he ends up dropping like 7k for the entire month!!!
I tried getting out but he is dangerous and the only way I can walk away is to leave the country.
As for family hnmmm they keep telling me to stay and plan how to run, ONTOP WHICH SAVINGS??? Wey I dey pay school fees I have borrowed money from Branch, Kwikcash etc can't even pay back wooo it is well oo.
Marriage is beautiful I see couples around me and although I do not know what goes on behind closed door but I don't see them running after eachother with weapons. Lol
And please before you ask am not perfect, I have my flaws too but the reasons we fight are;
1. Children fees
2. Feeding money
3. He is a chronic cheat
If I was getting even children's fees I won't even bother him the little I earn can sustain my kids and I.
It is well ojare
The only way you can run is to leave the country?
DeleteNigeria is big, so if you leave to another state far away from where he is and you did not tell your friends and relatives where you live, he will still see you? It's like you don't value your life, this one that you said he chases you around with weapons and beats you in public. You said he is a chronic cheat too, when last have done HIV test? The earlier you know your status and start treatment the better for you. Sit down there and keep suffering while giving excuses.
Hope you didn't have plenty children because that is what most of you do. You will be suffering in marriage yet keep having kids like rats.
Lol @ running after each other with weapons. It's well.
DeleteSorry. But weapons got me 😂🤣
DeleteY dont u turn him to a vegetable before he kills u...so u can run away with ur kids...
DeleteI know this is not a laughing but that "running after each other with weapon" line is really funny 😂😂
Delete@Fuck you,she should turn him to vegetable? Later you will say other tribes are diabolic. Idoma witch, be showing yourself small small o. Na so God dey take catch una.
DeleteStella
ReplyDeleteI should have listened to you, sorry I threw your help back in your face. I thought I could make it work but sadly a leopard never looses it's spots.
S helped, you helped but I thought I could help the situation alone
Hope its not u flora ....cos I no pity u.
DeleteSpeed on....no time for nonsense man.
DeleteStella I am still in this marriage because of my kids I am the bread winner for the past 14years out of 17years of my marriage. I married a very lazy man , he was working before but after he was sick and lost his job he refused to get a smaller job very proud person. Claiming Charttered accountant and very unsupppotived and when you refuse him sex it will be war. I am just counting time. Marriage nor favor me at all.
ReplyDeleteMy first year was so trying from mother inlaw wahala to cheating with Chioma(may e i shld even write her name in full) anyways. It was so trying nights of tears nd fights. But thanks to God he brought us together. With patience, u can rule ur marriage. I was patient its was very difficult to endure nd say sorry even when u are not wrong. Nd took the back seat. Now this same man calls me his God. He clearly has changed. My secrets are prayers patience nd keep loving him
ReplyDeleteAs for chioma i was not patient oooh. I showed the gurl the real me. Dragged her and sure she was scared. Nd my hubby too was scared. But in all i thank God for silencing my enemies. As for MIL as soon as she left my house. I pick her calls or call her wen ever i feel like. Sometimes once in 3months.
Me I will not hide my ID.
ReplyDeleteGod knows I will gladly take a walk if I am comfortable enough on my own (financial wise) who wants to die in marriage, definitely not me.
I know I have hot temper (I dont know how to go about anger management) .
Stella the things women go through in marriage eehhn! Godddddddd yes I am screaming and I am crying cos I know I need help. No happiness, no money, even the so called school I am going whenever he does not give me money Na to siddon for house, missing lectures and tests like play thing. I shall never miss my exams even if it means trekking a whole many kilometers.
I am tired, just at 26 with two kids, I look so old facially. I cries till there is no more tears left. I don't know what makes me happy anymore. The only smile on my lips is looking at my children 's face.
Oh God I thought I found a right man, I thought he will remain sweet like he was for the 3years we dated. I thought I thought I thought.
Ladies empower yourself if you have the opportunity before getting married oh. So that you will not be like RR Bello . Love yourself and never let any pressure lead you to any marriage. Have self esteem, secure your future financially and walk into marital bondage with your head and shoulders high. So that even your mother in-law will know that you have not come to play with their son not to talk of them. But respect respect her and him. I know it is well with my soul. Cos I shall not stay like this forever. I will be happy, I shall have peace of mind. I shall help those like me someday, (I pray soon). And never cease to help any one in need even if it's 20naira worth of help. I am ranting and yes I did not go anonymous.
Kai! This is so sad. May God heal your home.
DeleteMaybe you find a little job even if the pay is not much that will distract you a little instead of sitting home all day thinking.
Its well with you poster.
Wow...it is well even in the well...u dont have to go anonymous for anybody ok
DeleteI walked away when I find out he does not give a fuck about how I feel, he brings women to the house, fuck them, sleep outside the house, refusing to drop feeding money,tells his gfs he is not married or engaged, that our wedding pictures was taken for an event, when I saw that chat OMG I got dada.when I explained everything to my family and told them I want to walk away they all agreed with my decision, am happy I did cos I was almost developing HBP. A man don't cannot have sex with his wife, he is never romantic don't ask me if I did not see the signs cos we did Christian relationship,i never knew he came for my money and family money but when he could have it OMG he changed it for me less than a year marriage broke up, am happy is over six months and I have moved on already.
ReplyDeleteNa wa! It is well with your soul.
DeleteThanGod u left
DeleteMy story
ReplyDeleteI am married to a broke man
He has been broke right from when we were dating and I contributed more than half of the wedding expenses.
I thought we could make it work since I earned well and he was hardworking and had a good heart. I miscalculated my people.
After the these years, he is still broke and I foot most of the bills. He is frustrated and angry. Taking out his frustrations on me. Always complaining and cussing me, because of finances, he relocated us and rented a house in an undeveloped area of the town and I couldn't get a good job. He refused me learning a skill too but I'm still trying and hustling to earn money, he also does menial jobs. Now after seven yrs of marriage, no progress, just a child and moving in circles with debts here and there. God knows why more kids did not come #crying#. To pay this one's school fees plus house rent and feeding is problem. I regret getting married, I would have just had a child or two with one man when I get rich. I cry seriously when I think of where I would have been if I hadn't gotten married, my mum is suffering in the village and I can't do anything about it, someone that I used to send enough cash to. I was just 27. I married for love, now I don't even love him anymore cos of the way he treats me and all the financial problems.
Pls ladies NEVER MARRY A BROKE MAN because of love or because he is decent and hardworking.
This one was decent and up till now, he doesn't have a girlfriend and only drinks one or two bottles occasionally. I'm crying as I type this. If only I can get a good job to take care of myself and my child, I would not bother much. It's like his village people are after him, all the businesses he tried out did not work out well and he is honestly hardworking. He did not attend higher institution but speaks and writes good English. He tried several businesses and even now, he has properties for sale as a property agent, no single buyer upon all the adverts and awareness since over one year. I can't leave him as he doesn't beat me, what would be my excuse? If he is doing well, he treats me well. His village people would not allow him to be great and it's affecting me badly
You think his village is the problem, you may even be the problem here. Leave him and see how God will turn things around for him. People should not marry for love but for the money cos u out husband is broke.
DeleteYour own village people may even be the problem here. If you can't cope, no need to frustrate the man, just leave him peacefully with his village people.
This where prayers come in... go on your knees because he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God stop complaining
DeleteMarraige is patience and perseverance especially those first years...if you can survive those first years,the rest will be history. Marraige is not easy at all ..but with patience,prayer and tolerance ,we shall overcome.
ReplyDeleteOne stella beer for stella. You are too much. I've learnt a lot from this blog. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteContinues reading.
Fought endlessly with hubby and there was no peace until I decided to invite the God. Holy Spirit took over and I smile now.
ReplyDeleteMy story
ReplyDeleteI'm not anonymous, no need. We're many like this
I am married to a broke man
He has been broke right from when we were dating and I contributed more than half of the wedding expenses.
I thought we could make it work since I earned well and he was hardworking and had a good heart. I miscalculated my people.
After the these years, he is still broke and I foot most of the bills. He is frustrated and angry. Taking out his frustrations on me. Always complaining and cussing me, because of finances, he relocated us and rented a house in an undeveloped area of the town and I couldn't get a good job. He refused me learning a skill too but I'm still trying and hustling to earn money, he also does menial jobs. Now after seven yrs of marriage, no progress, just a child and moving in circles with debts here and there. God knows why more kids did not come #crying#. To pay this one's school fees plus house rent and feeding is problem. I regret getting married, I would have just had a child or two with one man when I get rich. I cry seriously when I think of where I would have been if I hadn't gotten married, my mum is suffering in the village and I can't do anything about it, someone that I used to send enough cash to. I was just 27. I married for love, now I don't even love him anymore cos of the way he treats me and all the financial problems.
Pls ladies NEVER MARRY A BROKE MAN because of love or because he is decent and hardworking.
This one was decent and up till now, he doesn't have a girlfriend and only drinks one or two bottles occasionally. I'm crying as I type this. If only I can get a good job to take care of myself and my child, I would not bother much. It's like his village people are after him, all the businesses he tried out did not work out well and he is honestly hardworking. He did not attend higher institution but speaks and writes good English. He tried several businesses and even now, he has properties for sale as a property agent, no single buyer upon all the adverts and awareness since over one year. I can't leave him as he doesn't beat me, what would be my excuse? If he is doing well, he treats me well. His village people would not allow him to be great and it's affecting me badly.
He needs to let go of his pride and support you to be the best you can be. Maybe when you are doing well, you can also help him up. He is sabotaging himself and his luck by sabotaging you! It’s high time you stand up to him and move back to where you can find work. Go and look for work and then find accommodation close to work till you find your own place. Don’t let any human bring that cannot take care of you determine how you will survive.
DeleteMarriage is what you make it to be. This man bashing, 'marriage ain't sh.t' mode everyone's on is the reason for the majority of problems especially as it affects us on a subconscious level.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is work..marry right or be ready to live with 'IT'.
I remember my wife getting it into her head that a friend of mine was a side chic...caused a strain for weeks especially after she confronted and embarrassed the girl. Funny enough, that period..girls were suddenly on my matter.. brazenly so, and it took God's Grace and Resolve to not finally cheat (not her cos if I had followed my emotions, I might have).
I learnt a big lesson then.. marriage is a triangle of both partners and God and we need to keep the bonds strong and not let the opinions of the 'outside' lead our decisions.
Stay focused..
Hmmmm! Marriage and all the stories that one have been reading and hearing. Well, I believe that I will enjoy my marriage whether the devil likes it or yes. He is really out to destroy people and families and the best way that he can go about it,is to destroy homes. The moment the home is destroyed,the kids are affected and on the long run, the reaction is felt in the society.
ReplyDeleteParents,most especially mothers should please train the boy child as well. The foundation of most successful marriages,is in the upbringing of both the MALE child and the female child. Yes! Emphasis on the male child because most times they are left out of the grooming process.
A man that is well brought up and a woman alike has more chances of building a successful home. Believe me, if the home front is good,the society will be a better place.
Dated my hubby for 6years before we got married 4years ago. Blessed with 2 beautiful and amazing children.
ReplyDeleteBut I am not truly happy in the marriage.
No communication.
No warmth.
No teasing.
No smiling like teenagers.
He does the shopping for things in the house, or commissions someone to buy it.
Takes good care of the children. Loves them very much .
But me?
He doesn't give me money.
If I want to shop I go to his friend's shop and pick whatever I want and he settles the bill.
Buys me luxury perfumes and takes me to posh hotel for lunch or dinner, depending.
Doesn't give my family anything(financially).
And being that I don't work, it's eating me up.
My husband is well lemme say he has a flourishing business, and have 4 landed property. We are living in our own house in a very posh area in the State that we reside. He's just stingy and I resent him for it.
So last year I decided to do away with the pity party and take charge of MY LIFE. Resit for the Bar Exams which I failed 2years ago. Unfortunately, I didn't pass it last year.
Rewrote it again this year, and I am really optimistic that I will pass because I gave it my all.
Once I get my Certificate, I will look for a job but in the meantime, I will get attached to a Law Firm where I will be 'learning the ropes'.
So I believe that once I start earning my own money, everything will fall into place.
I have a good relationship with my in laws.
But in all, I still believe in marriage.
You have passed this year by Gods grace.....
DeleteAwwww.... I pray you pass oh. There are many men like this. Rich buy don't take care of their wives and in-laws. You see a big man's wife can't afford to even buy herself nice clothes and you be wondering. It happens jare! No matter what a woman needs her own money
DeleteThats the way to go girl.... Make something of your life, trust God and everything else will fall into place.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy marriage is dead already and I believe nothing can revive it except we part ways, ladies please know and study your partner before planning your life with any man,we didn't date for long,i got pregnant and he decided to marry me, I thought I had seen Mr right,the first year was bliss,i gave birth to my without lacking anything few months after my daughter's first birthday I snooped and discovered he was dating an older woman,i confronted him and got the beating of my life,this man even uses Viagra and one spray like that which he keeps inside his car and uses for his numerous babes, then he loves to masturbate.the day I caught him I felt really disgusted,then financial crisis hit him and he really started misbehaving denying me of so many things, he doesn't pay my children school fees,call women right in my presence without caring how I feel, my daughter and son lack fatherly love,he doesn't respond to my greetings in fact am tired of this bondage called marriage, am saving heavily I will take a walk very soon,my advice to single ladies don't be too desperate for marriage and settle down with one useless public dog.
ReplyDeleteGod will deliver you
DeleteGod has been GOOD to me,I'm indeed blessed!been married for almost 6years but we have never needed anyone to solve our issues for us,do we fight?definitely but we never let the day end without trashing it,we had once calmy argued each of our points till 2am and he'd go to work for 5:30am!God blessed us with COMMUNICATION,we talk about anything and everything,are we perfect?NO,we know our flaws and try to help each other to be a better person!we are our ride/die,we know we are in this for the rest of our long life,he's very calm so I am d winchi (lol),its not all rosy but we pray about everything,no matter what we hold hands and pray every night,we don't keep grudges and we are trying as much as possible to make the home peaceful at all times!!
ReplyDeleteMy advice to the young ladies/gentle men is to know that nobody is perfect but do not marry anyone who has a flaw you cannot live with,let the flaws be minor things not a certain trait you have seen in courtship and think you will change in marriage!
If u begin to see something's after marriage,correct with patience and love,give it a LONG time and u just might begin to see a change.FORGIVENESS and PATIENCE comes after GOD!!
Thank u ma your last paragraph
DeleteI just want to thank each person who took time to write on their personal experiences.
ReplyDeleteI'm single, will soon be married and learnt a lot.
Thank you.
I learnt a lot here, hmm can't take ife niyen or kola sef
ReplyDeleteThis ife that you've been crying for for years now, are you not tired?
DeleteSeriously?
Dude is an unrepentant SnM prowler. Babe, you dodged a missile.