In an interview with Genevieve Magazine, Toolz shared her miscarriage experience for the first time since it happened in 2017.
“From the point we found out something was wrong till when the process was over was quite harrowing, but the parts that really broke me were going through the pain of labour knowing my baby was already gone,” the 35-year-old said.
“I also had a mini-break down when I had to get a death certificate so we could have a burial. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in my life.”
A situation where the foetus dies in the womb before it is born is called intra-uterine fetal death. In most cases, it occurs in the third trimester and the mother would have to go through labour to deliver it.
Toolz said she was bedridden in the hospital for a while and while she hated it, it gave her time to work on her newly launched lingerie line, Sablier.
Explaining that she was, “shaken, broken, rebuilt,” Toolz said “ultimately it strengthened my relationship with God.”
“It made me realise how delicate life is, and as much as we say ‘I will do this or that’ it is inevitably down to God’s will.
“In December I wrote that everyone will go through trying times, you just have to pray for the strength to get through it. That’s what God gave me – strength to get through a very horrible experience.”
Describing her husband, Tunde Demuren, as an incredible source of support, Toolz said: “I actually went into labour whilst I was making his breakfast. I tried to finish because he is such a big foodie, but the pain was too much and I was bundled off in the ambulance.
“Maybe it was the gas and air or temporary insanity, but I remember asking the medics to stop so we could get some food for him. They thought I was mad. We can laugh about that now.
“I think this experience brought us closer, and also made us realise how much we love each other. He made me pray, and he didn’t give up till I had emptied my heart out.”
From the Cable
“From the point we found out something was wrong till when the process was over was quite harrowing, but the parts that really broke me were going through the pain of labour knowing my baby was already gone,” the 35-year-old said.
“I also had a mini-break down when I had to get a death certificate so we could have a burial. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in my life.”
A situation where the foetus dies in the womb before it is born is called intra-uterine fetal death. In most cases, it occurs in the third trimester and the mother would have to go through labour to deliver it.
Toolz said she was bedridden in the hospital for a while and while she hated it, it gave her time to work on her newly launched lingerie line, Sablier.
Explaining that she was, “shaken, broken, rebuilt,” Toolz said “ultimately it strengthened my relationship with God.”
“It made me realise how delicate life is, and as much as we say ‘I will do this or that’ it is inevitably down to God’s will.
“In December I wrote that everyone will go through trying times, you just have to pray for the strength to get through it. That’s what God gave me – strength to get through a very horrible experience.”
Describing her husband, Tunde Demuren, as an incredible source of support, Toolz said: “I actually went into labour whilst I was making his breakfast. I tried to finish because he is such a big foodie, but the pain was too much and I was bundled off in the ambulance.
“Maybe it was the gas and air or temporary insanity, but I remember asking the medics to stop so we could get some food for him. They thought I was mad. We can laugh about that now.
“I think this experience brought us closer, and also made us realise how much we love each other. He made me pray, and he didn’t give up till I had emptied my heart out.”
From the Cable
*Dear God,Please Bless this woman with double for her Loss,Please dear God...
Let there be cries in her home by next year in Jesus name....
This made me really really sad and i wonder what reading the whole interview would feel like....She has healed and moved on,I pray she never has cause to talk about this again.
Oh my God! Toolz, I pray God double your blessings and joy.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine the pain of birthing a dead baby, that must be hardest part; after carrying your baby to almost full term.
Strong woman happy mothers day.
Is quite painful and there can be really no amount of comfort to make people who experience this feel better...
DeleteGod will give her double for her troubles, amen.
Sorry to hear this, babes. God has replaced who was lost, in the name of Christ Jesus. Congratulations on the birth of your next child - a healthy child, who is called blessed, who is first amongst peers, Godfearing and goal-getting; nations call you blessed because of this child who will herald the coming of more children from your womb and your heart. These will begin to come to pass before the end of September and cursed shall be anyone who dares to counter these prophecies in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
DeleteSmile, and wait and gather your strength - motherhood has come.
Honestly!! Its soooo painful reading this.☹
DeleteAmen to Stellas prayer.🙏
Awwww bless you darling - sending massive hugs your way. All is well xx
DeleteAwwh bless your sweet heart tools. God knows best..
DeleteSome pple make me laugh, so u rather a job over a child/children???. Na wa o. I got a job but it wasn't my prayer point at d time,I jeje turned it down.
DeleteA month later I took in ,had my baby that is still giving me serious TRILLS. Pls wen u pray, b mindful of ur priority.... Tools take sometime off and go mk sweet babies like mine biko.
Anon 14:32 So she should leave her job and just stay at home having sex wehdone ma!. Who told you she can't have a job and still have children abi you will provide for them when the babies come
DeleteSorry baby girl, God will triple your blessing next time. Make sure you give yourself enough time to heal.
ReplyDeleteSorry dear tools....that is so sad. God will give you multiple for your loss.
ReplyDeleteNext time you get pregnant, just stay away from public eye. Go and hide in the UK until you give birth. Same thing happened to Funke Akindele.
Anonymous8:39, Na wah for you. So she won't go to work again.
DeleteChaiChai.
Trust me, she can afford to go for one year sabbatical. Nigeria is a dark place and dark things are happening. Once the pregnancy starts to show, hide away. Just come back with a baby like Ivonne Nelson.
DeleteIs the news about Funke Akindele' miscarriage true?
DeleteBoth women are high risk pregnant women due to their age, which is a major factor. Next time they are pregnant , they should go on bed rest and less work.
DeleteMAY GOD BLESS THEM SOON WITH MORE BABIES.
Anon10:10 Yes, it is very true. Twins to be precise☹️☹️😢 she is a very strong woman. I pray the good lord answers her soon.
DeleteSo sorry about your loss, you shall receive triple of what you lost in Jesus name.
ReplyDeleteOh come get a hug,this is really sad. God will give you a testimony soon
ReplyDeleteONE THING I KNOW FOR SURE IS THAT SHE WILL ALLOW THE PREGNANCY ANNOUNCE ITSELF NEXT TIME, women that don’t announce their pregnancy to the whole world are not foolish. It is God’s work, it will show itself in the fullness of time.
ReplyDelete8:55 You just sound like a WITCH! Like you are happy she lost that baby, so you could come out and say ntoorr like you just did. Smh
DeleteBut there is no Anon 8.55?
DeleteI meant 8:55, the WITCH 👺
Delete8:56 anonymous 8:56!!! You sound like a freaking witch.... AJE!
DeleteOri yin ti daru !! You are the witches, you people that cannot advise them to keep it under wraps till it shows, you are the REAL WITCHES. You are the wicked ones.
DeleteMy mom that has enough kids but took in by mistake (family planing failed) birthed a fresh still birth, see us consoling then. She cried for several days and refused to eat bcos she her baby. When I asked her why she was crying and refused to be consoled over the dead child when we're here for her. She said" my daughter, you won't understand, the worst thing on earth to happen to any woman is to carry her pregnancy to term and up delivering a dead child " chai,I wept that day no be small.
ReplyDeleteSo dear Tools, I pray God replenish your lost with double portion of beautiful babies. Am inspired by this interview. May God bless your home.
You will not bury another IJN, Amen. God bless your home with healthy babies IJN, Amen.
ReplyDeleteAmen to your prayer for her Stella.
ReplyDeleteRemember ye not the former things. Behold I will do a new thing and ye shall see it. Says the Lord.
ReplyDeleteToolz God will double your blessing.
ReplyDeleteThe problem I have with most of them is that they talk toooooo damn much, why would you announce to the world that you are pregnant? We are not oyinbos, hatred/jealousy/witchcraft is real in Nigeria, fools rush in where even angels fear to tread. Whatever you announce prematurely to the world, you must be ready to lose that thing, be it a job you are just being interviewed for, visa you are yet to get, contract you are trying to get, pregnancy that has not fully shown, house you are planning to buy but have not actually bought it outright. Allow God to announce your good news for you and see if Iyalaya anybody can take it from you. I am so pissed off with people’s LACK OF WISDOM.
ReplyDeleteNo vex anon 09:13. This life is a mystery. Some peopeople make announcements and still get those things. What happened to Psalm 23 verse 5? Many people ran to the abroad and they returned as mad men. Some people made their relationship and had their introduction discreetly but everything still scattered. What works for A may not work for B. Haven't we been seeing Celebs that show off their baby bumps and still birth healthy children. I believe in witchcraft but mostly the people "doing" us are those that are very close to us and not your social media fans, followers or friends.
DeleteOf course it is only those who know you that can harm you. Toolz you need to change your circle of friends.
DeleteNot only friends, she comes from a polygamous family. People who come from one or are married to spouses who come from polygamous family need to be extra prayerful.
DeleteThank you ,anon. Its people that know you that can harm you. Not the social media people. Except maybe robbery buy all these juju tinz, e go beta close person.
DeleteNot saying that was the case here..cos this happens , even here in the US. It happens everywhere. Not so common in the developed world but it does happen and thing anybody can do at that stage
Sorry Toolz. Ask your mother how childbirth was for her and if she had any still births/miscarriages. If she says yes, you must tell your UK doctor this history. Some women have blood clot anomalies that cause miscarriages. These disorders have a genetic marker that can be passed on from mother to female child. It may not be witchcraft or people's evil eyes. Even your granddaughter can have it. I think there's an injection they will give you. Given her weight also, let her do a vaginal ultrasound to rule out PCOS. At 35, a woman's ovarian reserve starts to drop fast. Let her not waste time.
ReplyDeleteShe seems like an innocent free spirit. Imagine, almost stopping the ambulance to get food for her husband? Nigerian men are going to screenshot that part and start disturbing us with it on social media.
Don't mind them. Nigerian men know nothing more than food. I blame our rubbish society for making them feel like demi god that a woman is almost dieing and still think of feeding the over grown baby.
DeleteThat is how my father was too. My mother will be sick and very weak sometimes just out of hospital and this man will still be demanding for pounded yam from a sick woman. She will be slaving for this man. Okay come and get your food downstairs in dinning room. There is no child around. He will insist she carry a heavy tray upstairs again to come serve him and she has bad back isn't suppose to lift smthn heavy while climbing stairs.
Your last paragraph got me rolling 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣The only thing I agree with is the age factor...women’s biological clock ticks faster than you think and it affects our reproductive health.
DeleteI had a similar experience last month. Its by God's strength I was able to pray through it and can talk about it now. Dont worry dear. God's got us!
ReplyDeleteGod's got you,sis. Affliction will not arise a second time. Do not let the spirit of fear rule you cos of what has happened. It may be difficult cos of what people will try to advice you. Just put your trust in God and take it as His will. He WL give you double for your true in Jesus Name
DeleteIt is well with you Tolu. May God reward you with double blessing for your loss.
ReplyDeleteLabour pain is not easy to forget when the baby does not live.
ReplyDeleteOMG
ReplyDeleteTolu this is so sad
God will give you double for your loss
This journey is not easy,may God bless our wombs
Amen.
DeleteFor your shame/pain,you shall have Double!
ReplyDeleteSorry dear, it's well with you.May God bless you with children soon and give you a reason to laugh again
ReplyDeleteSo sad. Tolu, God will surprise you very very soon with healthy babies in Jesus name. Amen.
ReplyDeleteIt is well.
ReplyDeleteGod will give you double for all the trouble.
Next time HIDE. Omalicha(Anita Isioma Isede-Hughes) was pregnant same period but was off social circle while doing her OAP job quietly.
Be like Isioma.
The Bible doesn't encourage allowing people see your testimony before it comes.
Is Anita Hughes in Nigeria? I thought she married a German?
DeleteShe is the wife to Alex Hughes DJ X_El.. that is working in Rhythm 93.7 together with her,. she is carrying out her office work no noise about marriage and newborn baby.
DeleteXhlrted p everything isnt spiritual biko. What of de-mure Reekado banks brothers wife that shared her pregnancy journey didn't she have her baby?Toolz issue was health related
DeleteAmen to your prayer Stella.
ReplyDeleteGod will give you double for your trouble in Jesus name amen
ReplyDeleteIts not easy.Especially when you resume work and those terrible colleagues will keep reminding you every week "ohh you have put to bed" even when they know oooooh.It is well with us
ReplyDeleteMine was terrible,he has this cute heaven smile when i looked at him.But born at 25 weeks in nigeria?is a no survival am still trying to heal last night was terrible because i keep having fash of that moment it was difficult for me to sleep.7 months down the line am still in pain
ReplyDeleteI lost a 28 week and 4 days old pregnancy (girl) late 2016 becos I had PROM and I was blessed with my baby boy February this year (don't try this at home :) ). Even last night, her face flashed before my eyes. You never truely forget, I remember every joy, pain, kick, emotion, all the episodes until I had the ceasarian section that brought her out.
ReplyDeleteI actually asked for a boy as my next cos I didn't want to be reminded (not that I forgot sef). Do you know how it feels having a below bikini CS scar but no baby? And those of you saying she should leave work; it doesn't work that way, I went back to work about 10 days after my surgery cos that was my coping mechanism so allow her.
Toolz is you ever see this, take solace in the fact that God is and still is! It will happen for you in HIS time!
Ajebo confidential's comment above is so apt! Please make sure all underlying factors are checked and kept at bay.