STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSING SITUATION
Good day Stella of God and life, I am ardent and silent reader of your blog and i need your advice with a little bashing is all i can manage.please hide my email address.....long post alert
To my story, its about my hubby and his i want to help people, I don't have problem with him helping people, but this one he said he is helping has been causing rifts between us.
Good day Stella of God and life, I am ardent and silent reader of your blog and i need your advice with a little bashing is all i can manage.please hide my email address.....long post alert
To my story, its about my hubby and his i want to help people, I don't have problem with him helping people, but this one he said he is helping has been causing rifts between us.
He is close to a family but this family have so many issues, spiritual and all, yet he decides to help one of the family member(a girl of 23 years), she is estranged with her father being the only child and she wants to reconcile with her dad, l have no issue with that, until the day he brought her things and took it to his friends place that she will be staying for few weeks so he and his elder brother can sort things out with her father......
l was angry and said ''how can you make such a decision and not informing me'' weeks has turned to few months, yet the father and all involved are dragging feet about the reconciliation.
My anger is that my husband goes out with her every time, no family time, where we hang out he doesn't take me out again, he is self employed, so when he leaves the house he checks on her and when coming back, and it was getting to a point whereby he comes home and says he is not hungry and he will only eat before 6.pm, yet you don't come home until past 7 or 8 and i insisted he must eat at home and pointed all this out to him, in fairness he changed.
The latest that got me pissed off was she got admission at the open university and my husband paid her school fees, and when i asked for the kids own he said it In order of priority and i got angry and didn't talk to him till he paid half of the money.
My anger is that he will say things and change it after few days, he told me the girl will rent an apartment, that she is looking for money only to tell me she will be there for some time and she will use her house rent to start business and we continue to have issues. the truth is when he says her predicament l feel for her but its affecting my relationship with him, cos he makes some comments once in a while and also tells half truth about them sometimes, i want to find out if i am paranoid or i open my eyes and allowed mumu kill me(all in name of handling things gently).
Thanks
*Did you say his family member or his side chick?hmmmmmmm
Madam shine your eyes wella.
ReplyDeleteGod help you
Ahh Mogbe, Poster if your heart is telling there's more than what hubby tells you then definitely there's more.
ReplyDeleteKuku begin dey pursue black goat for daylight o, because when night come, both the goat and darkness will align and you won't see anything again.
No go stay in plenty water make soap dey enter your eyes join. OK bye
Dude maybe having affair with that lady. Mind you I used the word 'May'. Though some people naturally could be that way placing other peoples need above theirs, not trying to exonerate him here but again whatever cost your peace and happiness in your is too expensive and shouldn't be taken lightly. Keep talking to him about it and how it is affecting your joy.
ReplyDeleteNagging is not the solution
ReplyDeleteThe man is on a tempting journey
Make the home conducive and know that you have to stand your ground in prayers for him.
Watch very well to know when to talk and not always.
Any little attempt to antagonism will drive him to "gum" to the girl.
He is married He is married He is her husband. What is do not drive him away. Did she drive him to go and form Father Christmas for this lady?
DeleteMadam how can you be this naive? The girl is your fellow wife in the making! Jeezzzz!!!
ReplyDeleteAs innnnn..... I consider myself naive but this here is down right 'daff'...how can you not see it?
DeleteThey are negotiating her bride price instead of reconciliation with the family! How did your husband get to know of her predicament?
Deletehahahahahaha stella you said it. Na side chicken be that ooo.
ReplyDeleteMadam your mumu don do. Better take hold of your marraige before your horseband give that girl belle. The helping has entered another stage. When a man does not carry the wife along, things get spoilt.
If you know what to do, better do it or you will welcome another iyawo at home. Afterall some patriarch in the Bible marry more than 1 wife, so your horseband is no different as the HELPER he is
When a man and a woman see often, a relationship is just a stone throw away.
ReplyDeleteGet Involve in d "help" too.
Visit her often & find out stuff yourself.
Most importantly, ask God for wisdom on how to handle this. Cis ur hubby is into her.
That see often you said is so true. We need to be on guard, exercise self control and discipline. House girl, colleagues, even shop attendants and fellow worshippers, proximity engenders intimacy. Be close to your spouse, confide in your spouse, work hard at it!
DeleteVisit who? These men always get involved with little girls that are risk averse. She needs to keep her children and herself away from the girl before she starts to think if she gets rid of the man's wife and kids...horseband will be all hers.
DeleteMadam have you actually confirmed that she's a family member?
ReplyDeleteWhy so many lies? Why so many half-truths? Why is her wellbeing more important than that of his children?
Madam don't you see that there's fire on the mountain?
Snoop and be prepared for the outcome. Go down on your knees and fire prayers and tell God to sever any unholy relationship between your husband and anybody.
Hope you have a source of income?
Also drink plenty coconut oil.
DeleteStella i was about to ask the same thing
ReplyDeleteSecond wife loading...
ReplyDeleteThere is 🔥 on the 🗻.
DeleteYou're just a jealous and Angry woman...
ReplyDeleteIs that what you will tell her? If she is your sister, will that be your response.
DeleteLolo take ya time o
Lolo e be like say na you be d side chicken
Deleteside vultures plenty these days.
DeleteIdeato orobo hope say u don marry oh...
DeleteFor u to talk to this woman pike this...married women go theu alot and I always feel for them
DeleteLike
DeleteLoLo it seems you are the devil's advocate on marriage dissolution and destruction.May thunder fire that hand you used in typing that rubbish.
DeletePigeon to the reacue jare.
ReplyDeleteMadam your boo has got a boo.
ReplyDeleteI feel there's more to it than just helping, your children should be your 1st priority, how can he not pay his kids school fee nd he can pay for a stranger's tuition fee. Madam shine your eye
ReplyDeleteImagine. The girl is now his priority. Big problem dey
DeleteWhat nonsense, i was gently reading and nodding till i got to the Children's school fees part, is he okay? which order of priority? your family comes first. Madam i smell a rat here, biko remove monkey hand from pot of soup before it turns to human hand....she is pushing to be your co-wife ooo. women always follow your instincts.
ReplyDeleteIt seems the husband wants it. It is not just about the girl
DeleteNnaaaa..this woman, your dumbness is unparallel...
ReplyDeleteYour husband is fucking that girl...
Chooooooi...
Fish brain..wise up.. Haba..family member my foot
Haha 😂 😂, I was scrolling to see your comment .
DeleteMadam your mumu is top notch SMH
Na your husband side chick be that oh!!! Hmmmm
In as much as I don't know you, but with what you sent my dear it is clear that girl is pregnant for your husband hence the open university school. Mostly on weekends or she can even stay at home so far she has internet. The family feud was getting pregnant and the father sending her away and your husband being responsible is doing everything possible for her to be OK. If na lie FIND OUT YOURSELF. GO PAY HER AN AUGUST VISIT.
DeleteAll I see is a pregnant side chic.
ReplyDeleteI may be wrong though.
poster i think you know the answer to your question. thats all i can say
ReplyDeleteThe younger the cat, the tighter it fights. How do you expect the man to reason clearly . Now his priority is her school fees not his children school fees. Story that touch the hrt. Go n nack pigeon on his head. This men are beginning to make me belief pigeon nacking makes more sense
ReplyDeletePigeon nacking does not work on these men. How about women better be prepared financially and mentally. And keep your finances separate for when these silly men think they can start sponsoring the entire village.
DeleteIts not bad to help people..but sometimes helping people have to be in a reasonable and not at the expense of your wife or family's happiness
ReplyDeleteAbeg madam,theres more to it than meets the eyes and you know the answer to it..
If you don't help people with sense these days, ya help go turn you to mumu
DeleteKeyword: In order of PRIORITY.... I hope thus explains it for you
ReplyDeleteU are blind folded
ReplyDeleteMc pinky
Madam that girl is PREGNANT for your husband!!! This is exactly my story!!!!!! OMG! Only difference is mine happened 3 years ago.The whole school fees ish and hanging out with the girl. The same story of the girl has really suffered bla bla bla. Mark my comment,she is pregnant and your husband's brother knows and wants to cover your husband's ass. Oh madam, my heart breaks in a million pieces for the hurt you are about to experience. Replace your husband's elder brother with elder sister and bam!My story. She is his mistress,I guarantee you! May your God see you through. I am separated now, waiting on my slow ass divorce lawyers to get things moving. Everyday is one family member or the other to come and beg and plead with me. Not gonna happen. When he thought he was superman that could joggle two nuclear families at the same time he didn't think of the kids and the marriage and the love he has for me. Now that everything is open "I love you" up and down. Lmao!! I have started dating again o and in his face I would get married again not that I am interested in that even but it is a possibility. May God be your strenght. You better start your own investigation privately and don't sleep on that bicycle.
ReplyDeleteGbam........ that's how they'll be forming she is my sister n be gbenshing her..... poster ur own good, mine she was leaving with us n even got pregnant.... right now I don't even want to hear she's my mother's daughter.men sha
DeleteHappy for you
DeleteExactly, why isn’t she living under your own roof if the help is serious, she is very pregnant and if she’s kept under your roof you may start noticing the changes, that’s why she’s kept away, plus why was the house rent money now changed to business money, aunty open your eyes.
DeleteDon’t disturb him for like a week about it, when he thinks you are comfortable then you start snooping still acting like all is well until you find out.
They are looking for the right time to move her in, probably when it’s too late and you can’t say no. Hanty open thy eyes
As painful as this sounds, I am proud of you. These men will continue to be irresponsible until they see that women will not condone this nonsense. Hold your head high and know that you did the right thing in the sight of God. Let him go and build a new family with his mistress. As for your children, they will be fine. You have shown your children that there is no reward for evil deeds. Women who are coerced into staying and covering their evil husbands teach their sons to continue the cycle of irresponsibility and teach their daughters that their health, safety and esteem mean nothing. Just make sure you are not bitter towards him, if he wants to be a father to the children then encourage it. Let the children also know the truth but do not bash the man.Your story resonates with so many women in Nigeria. It is sickening.
DeleteGo and do detective work. She don born or abort for u and your hubs
ReplyDeleteThe girl is not a family member.. The man is close to the girls family.. so he decided to help... that's the excuse he gave his wife. so she can use her hand and accept this woman and the man attitude
ReplyDeleteIt could be anything, it could be nothing. Why don't you call for a family weekend get together inviting her along and observe how everyone relates. From there, you can decide to go ahead and call for a family meeting on their matter or not.Give them benefit of doubt one last time.
ReplyDeleteNothing kwanu. And he is taking girls fees as his priority over his own kids?
DeleteMadam, the truth is that your husband has a soft spot for that girl but nagging and getting unnecessarily upset is not the solution to the problem. The more you complain about that girl you are pushing your husband to her.
ReplyDeleteTry to befriend that girl, show her acceptance and treat her like your kid sister. Win her trust and let her make you her confidant.
You cant win it by nagging my dear but with love, patience and prayers all will be well.
Your stupidity has passed be careful
DeleteWhich one is nagging and unnecessary upset?..
Love, patience and prayers my foot
Till she finds out she’s loving her co wife.
Which trust should she win?
Your comment makes absolutely no sense whatsoever..
What is this yeye madam saying.nonsense
DeleteHoney...if your husband is ignoring family duties then this is his side chick. Even if he is not, he should ask you to handle this lady for him. Unless you are not someone who is open to help a lot. Either way, your husband is overdoing it. I would ask you to investigate more but it will not help. I hope you are working. I also hope the funds are not from funds you contribute to for family upkeep? If your funds from your sweat are included in this his philanthropy mission then you need to speak up. If not, then you need to have a sincere discussion with your husband (not the begging and crying type, the serious type). Ask him if he would be alright with you doing for someone else behind your back like this. Also, please watch out for your children. Men like this are so silly that they expose their families to danger. Tell him that this lady is an adult and he should allow her concentrate on school and this new business he has set up for her.
ReplyDeletePS...she did not jazz your man, do not even get that in your head. Your husband is doing some funny business. He has either prepped this girl to be his side chick in the future or he has scored with her.
That's how it starts. I am telling you from experience. I was staying with an uncle and felt unloved. My parents stay far and won't believe me so he came to help. I did not know and still don't understand how I fell for about 2 years. Mere thinking about it irritates me. I was trained better you know. But that gap of being unloved was filled ABI so I thought.
ReplyDeleteIn short poster.....they are fucking. And your husband is emotionally attached to her.
Pray
Try to show concern in her. In fact call her set so she knows
Show hubby more love.....the boyfriend and girlfriend type......seriously
Pray continually
Create situations that will call hubbys attention......ypu need to be a good actress say like me😁
Keep praying
This is what I hate, if you too complain it will look like you are wicked. What is his business with a girl and her father to the point of taking her to live with his friend. What did he introduce her as to the friend? All these end time friends, they will be smiling in your face and doing devious acts of betrayal behind you.
ReplyDeleteMadam, matter has gone beyond snooping. The time has come for you to collect his phone (s) and check his communications with the girl and that friend, to know what's up. Cos I don't know how a father will be comfortable letting his daughter stay with a man in the name of whatever.
Shine your eyes and demand answers.
She is his side chick if not his secret wife, poster did you have male children if yes how many cos if you have a son then the girl might likely be pregnant
ReplyDelete