STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DIRTY HUSBAND
Hi Stella and fellow Bvs, I can't sleep am just unhappy. I married a very caring and loving guy but am already fed up. The issue is my husband finds it difficult to bath.
If at all he does, he doesn't use sponge just soap and water. He doesn't bath or brush his mouth weekends at all. Meaning for a whole 2 days he won't bath or brush.
He doesn't think its necessary to have a bath or brush since he is not going out because most weekends he stays at home. We are in a state where its very very hot and we sweat a lot when there s no light so one is expected to bath at least 2 times a day.
I am just so unhappy. I practically beg him in subtle ways to bath but he doesn't ever listen. Just last night he said if he baths he won't be able to sleep. The thing hurt me so much because I begged him to. Now am tired already.
Even sleeping with him irritates me. He irritates me because his mouth and body has an awful odour when he doesn't bath and he would still want to cuddle at night which I always find disgusting. I am a sucker for neat guys and you need to see the way I am always all over him when he baths it would be as if I won lottery.
I don't intend to cheat on my husband but I just wish he would change so I can be able to go close to him. My husband turns me off these days and am gradually getting detached from him. I just wish he would change. Please what do I do?
*OMG!!!!....I am just imagining that he also uses the toilet and refuses to bath....What a frigging dirty man!...
Have you tried to find out why he does not like to bath?why he says he wont be able to sleep if he does?Didnt you see all these before you married him?Lets hope you get some good advice in the comment section.....
*OMG!!!!....I am just imagining that he also uses the toilet and refuses to bath....What a frigging dirty man!...
Have you tried to find out why he does not like to bath?why he says he wont be able to sleep if he does?Didnt you see all these before you married him?Lets hope you get some good advice in the comment section.....
You are such a good wife and woman and I feel so sorry for you. All I wish is just for him to change.
ReplyDeleteDated a guy who doesn't like to bath, lives in a different state, when we meet he smells like pus, broke up with him. Dated another guy at some other time, he did not use soap or sponge, spoke to him over and over but still he bathed with only water. Broke up with him. Disgusting.
DeleteWhere Una Dey find these dustbin men? Never ever dated a dirty man.
DeletePlease where do you find these kind of men? What tribe Let me know where to avoid such pigs.
DeletePoster no biggie just don't cuddle or allow him sleep with you when he dose not bath. My hubby was like that intialy, but when i denied him the congo only him started bathing and brushing 2x a day. Once he sweats he changes immediately.
DeleteMadam my advise to you is for you to start bathing him yourself. Maybe he feels lazy to go to bath room, I suggest you take him there and bath him yourself. thank you
Delete@whateverinskdblog say what?
DeleteNa wa oooo,every mallam with him kettle, if u think u ve seen it all,then u hear gbam gbam gbam,it is well
ReplyDeleteNa Mallam she marry. Them de forbid water and sponge for their body.
DeleteHahahaha Anon 15:47
DeleteThis is where for better for worse comes into play....u didn't date him? Or d attitude started after marriage? Abi u marry mallam..? Na kwesion o...lol
ReplyDeleteBB abeg I no want laugh ooh. Which one be abi u marry mallam?
DeleteAbi wan ask whether na mallam she marry cos my baby daddy neat outside but indoor,na shege
DeleteDrag him into the bathroom with you, put toothpaste on his toothbrush when u want to brush yours and ask him to join you.
DeleteWhen bathing, help him scrub his body with sponge, make it fun for him.
Inukwam!
Make bathing fun for a grown man? Tueh.
DeleteU never see neat Mallam@BB..ordinary piss them go must wash blokos. I get one as frd wey dey bath like fish sef,E go bath then exfoliate every time. I just dey pity am make he nor go exfoliate he senses comot.. It's not a Mallam thing, the man is just a dirty man
DeleteIn as much as I don't like dirty people but my dear you need to take it easy and find your way around it. Some women would even appreciate having their husband home always as you made mention he is always at home weekends and doesn't bath for being home than always bathing and being away from you like a stranger. One step at a time, sometimes people don't tend to have it all, wisdom they say is overly profitable. Good luck ma'am
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteWhat are you saying please
DeleteWhat's d essence of ur spouse being home if he will just be smelling up and down.
DeleteHe should kuku carry his smelly self outside the house.
My people, spend nights and weekends with ur boo while still dating but no, they will say we that do it are trying to form wife!
Nigerian women tueh. She should be thankful she is being exposed to real life staph virus that can kill just like AIDS. What are you saying? Give advice and dont encourage useless behaviour. Poster, your husband needs to see a therapist something is deathly wrong.
DeleteSo Eka after all the night and days you have spent, why has he not wife's you??? He hasn't even proposed meaning he doesn't mind if someone else takes you. A man who genuinely wants you will tie you down with a ring. Most especially if you stay apart. Be wise dear
DeleteAnon, sha watch this space. The ones they gave ring and collected back nko? Abi the ones wey dem even marry, divorce nko???
DeleteBiko, its not how fast but how well. Watch this space.
U think its beans for a young man to spend a good amount of money taking his babe outside the country to meet him, not once but twice barely 3yrs after leaving the country???
Just watch this space abeg. I can't shout
Eka, I wonder why you are trying to validate yourself to that anon, you don't owe them any explanation as to what happens in your life...before them go carry your matter go their coven.
DeleteYou would have noticed all these dirty habit of his while dating but you probably ignored thinking he will change. I once checked on a guy who's seriously disturbing me to date him, was having cramps that day and I went to his toilet, he used the toilet without flushing and so many dirty things in his house. That was the last time I saw him, can't deal with dirty people or dirty environment, can't just manage to cope
ReplyDeleteMaybe you mandate it that if he's not taking his bath regularly, there won't be anything like intimacy between you
*Larry was here*
Thank you Larry. Treat this man like you would a child who refuses to wash up.
DeleteLike 2days no bathing. Jesu!
ReplyDeletePóster how many rooms do you guys have just move to the other room and be staying there he will get the message. Like wtf!
my own brushes ones in a day,at night i will just tell him straight up,if u dont brush ur mouth don't even dream to come near me.him ma know who i be.and to say this guys are the most sincere set of specie.
ReplyDeleteyeah very sincere. But dirty. Mine will b sweating, yet e no go gree bath.
DeleteHaha haha 😂, haha where una dey meet all this type of boyfriends 🙆🙆
DeleteWhy are you complaining? He was this way before you married him. You married him out of desperation when you knew he was a pig. Abeg stop complaining and carry your cross. At least he made you a Mrs and the society has more respect for you now as a married woman, you are no more a laughter stalk
ReplyDeletePeople with this kind of mentality is the reason Kanye said what he said....
DeleteSo much stupidity in 1 comment
DeleteDidn't you notice this during your dating days? So why are you complaining now
ReplyDeleteCharacteristics of Nigerian ladies;
ReplyDeleteWhen money stops flowing, it is either;
He has become a monster
His balls smell
He lasts for 1 minute
He does not say "I rove you"
He is not romantic
He does not take his bath . . .
Sorry to say but you are very stupid for this comment, I pity the people around you
DeleteMadam you've done everything humanly possible to change him, but don't Stop, keep trying and put it in prayer.
ReplyDeletePlease is there a bowl called prayer that people put things?
DeleteDo they "put it in prayer"
or pray about it.
Everything na prayer, na wa o
DeleteGod thinks Nigerian women are the laziest of his children (call me Assistant Jesus if you like). we think everything is "put it in prayer" and then sit and complain. How about take steps after that prayer. God honours such more than the lazy attitude.
DeletePray for someone to have their bath? Like seriously? Have we now become a nation that lacks common sense because everything seems to be "put it in prayer" so God has not finished dealing with all the wars in the world now he has to deal with a woman who didn't date her husband enough to notice that her husband was a pig.... Now we are saddling God with useless prayers. As in... Make una grow some freaking sense man... Basically your husband is a pig.... Stop being subtle... Tell him no bath.. No kisses or cuddles or even yAnsh... After u stop banging him... After I'm no receive arse for five times... No be person go tell am to brush mouth and baff... Stop being subtle... Tell him... Nigga u stink.. I can't bang u or kiss u.... But please Ehn.... God has too much on his plate to be receiving dumb arse prayers like urs ehnm
DeleteJohn 14:14. Ask 'anything' in my name and I will do it.
DeleteI support you @Becky Naka,people only think to pray on the BIG issues,if shes about to loose her home/happiness over ordinary BATH why can't she pray about it????she's almost disliking the man!
DeletePoster i pray for more patience for you,unfortunately it won't be a day's job to help him change(that's if u don't have to chase him to bath for the rest of your lives)draw the lines with anger sometimes and with nudge another time,if you love him and don't wish to leave,u have to help him for ur own peace of mind!communication is important,let him know how disgusting it feels .......
This is so serious. Why would a man behaved in such a way? Or is there something behind such act? Or is it that he is being lazy. I can imagine the kind of smell that will ooze out of the armpit not to talk of the pubic area or even the mouth. And he will want to kiss you with such mouth lol. Pls dear keep talking to him about it with pampering. Promise him each time he takes his bath very well and brush his mouth, you will treat him nice in the oza room and if that didn't work out, then try talking to his people but don't engage him in a quarrel over it. Let him know he can get infection by not taking his bath and transfer to you.
ReplyDeleteHe is a grown up and being very lazy as a lot of men can be. He is not a child to be pampered, he is not a baby. Tell him frankly that he stinks and he is putting you and your kids (if any) in danger. If he is a good man and an adult, he will snap out of this foolishness.
DeleteIf she was dealing with a 2 year old, the pampering may work.
DeleteBut a grown ass man who doesn't see anything wrong in walking around in filth and odour and leaving his mouth unbrushed for over 48 hours while eagerly eating food and drinks untop of all the food already passing down his throat?
No.
Your husband is unmotivated and this always stems from worry and depression. You just don't feel like doing certain things you should do except you have no choice. My advice is that you have to find out what worries him. He might be depressed but not showing clear signs of it for you to notice.
ReplyDeleteLet me give you an instance. I've been overtly worried and unmotivated throughout last month. But yesterday, I had a chat with a good friend and her words helped in a great way to lift my spirits. Do you know I've been so unmotivated that I've not washed nor changed my bedsheets for months. I also stopped going to church. Sundays I'll lie on my bed and be rolling up and down till evening. But today, I was so happy that I went to church, came back and washed all my dirty bedsheets and the happiness is still within that I feel I can do just about anything now. So find out the root cause of your huaband's anxiety/depression. It could be financial troubles.
I'm happy you are ok now 🤗🤗🤗 however, her husband might just be dirty. There are people like that.
DeleteIs there courtship anymore?
ReplyDeleteOnly sex, f8ck, se8, f8ck
And uploading to instagram;
No time to learn about each other's
characters.
and they jump into marriage
2 weeks into marriage they are bored.
Of course you can't f0k all through marriage.
Take it easy poster woman and if possible, get a soft absorbing sponge and scrub him on the bed etc. Your marriage must work o!
I had a friend who had same issues but he later confided in me, is body itches so bad whenever water touches him even if he gets drenched by rain or sweat heavily. so, his always scared of bathing, not until we got a Fulani man who gave him a local herb to kill bacteria in his body. Now he baths at will.
ReplyDeleteIt's a medical condition and it has a name. Hospitals cure it.
DeletePoster if he has this issue, get him help. Thing is a dirty per son is a dirty person. Leave Matter.i have a friend like this. Sponges itch him. Guess what. This guy bathes more than thrice daily with soap and water. If your husband doesn't have allergies. Please stop enabling him. No cuddling, no kissing, . Start sleeping in d living room. Tell him plainly that he smells. Gosh. The older generation did a bad job raising kids. Most Nigerian men are something else and d women are bitter. Always competing
DeleteI suffer from acute hives when I'm exposed to cold yet I wash like a fish even in the coldest of winter.
DeleteAnon 16:35..it's called "Aquagenic pruritus"...boiling the water before bathing can reduce the itching a lil bit.
DeleteOh God! You are trying Kai. I can't deal with this for a day let alone weeks. I cant kiss a guy in the morning self if he hasn't brushed. But all these my talks isn't necessary in this case but I don't know which advice to give to you that's why. Sorry my dear but single ladies should learn, court him and stop learning different sex positions when you are suppose to learn about each other...
ReplyDeleteHmm, this one pass me. Only Jesus can save this man o.. .Maybe when next he falls ill you can come arrange with a doctor to claim his illness is due to his dirtyness or just look for a way to report him to someone he holds in high esteem to cancel him. .U try o,u said u a sicker for neat guys ,didn't u notice when u both were dating/courting? This story is gross. That ur husband needs to be locked up in a cell for abusing u with his dirty odour .Jeezzz! Human being plenty o
ReplyDeleteMadam are you sure this your husband head good? That how I visited my bf in his based the first time if he not going to work he can stay till evening before bathing he doesn't smell Inshort if he doesn't tell you he has not bath since morning you won't know, but latest 4/5 he will bath but he brushes.
ReplyDeleteI was brought up to brush morning and evening that I can wake up in the morning no smell in my mouth and can talk very close to you n kiss no irritation, I noticed my bf doesn't brush to sleep and you know na Tho no much smell but there must be I stopped kissing him he complains oh, wetin concern me, I never talk to him about it but he knew now before sleeping he brushes n we can kiss for 2 hours cuddle n sleep, smell and dirtiness can pursue me from a guy oh.
And this my bf is neat oh he can only use white bed sheets n duvet so to know when it dirty. Just ignore him or you let him know you not happy about it. 2days and not brushing n still eating n going as in how
Women...because the man has money that's why you married him..if he's poor and durty would you have married him,nne make we hear word abeg
ReplyDeleteThe annoying thing is that these sorta men are the most sincere type. You better stop telling him in a subtle way. U gatta be harsh mhen. Tell him his mouth and body stinks and u cant stand the smell straight up.
ReplyDeleteSincere wetin?!? No other babe fit stand him stench that's why e siddon for house. He most likely married poster because she was the only babe that could put up with his stench...
DeleteMadam in all ur rant i didn’t see where u sat him down and talked to him about it. Like telling him in a loving way that u are not happy wt his level of hygiene. If u cnt talk to him face to face, wen he goes to work, chat hin up, tell him ur mind straight up or snd him a txt msg. I know some people find it hard to express theselves face to face, they are better off messaging. Gudluck!
ReplyDeleteNot surprising to me because I know of someone who acts same way. Sister, you just have to keep begging him to and keep praying too for him to change some day.
ReplyDeleteMy experience living with many white guys is just like this. They usually don’t take their bath as we do regularly. They tell you that they didn’t sweat or feel the need to do so. They take their bath like three to four times a week. How do you wake up in the morning, dress up for work without having a bath? Your husband’s case is difficult to fix immediately but hope it will fix itself with patience and gentle counsel from you.
ReplyDeleteAnon 16:07, most whites shower once a week. You are very lucky to have met those that shower more than once a week.
DeleteHad the same experience when I went to do my masters degree. During winter they will bath like 3 times a week, can wear the same shirt for 5 days. Naija man as I be I can not imagine leaving the house without showering, no matter how cold.
DeleteThe white women are the same, babe will come to your house have sex and won't shower after or even the next morning, just wear cloth comet again. Can't deal with dirty people abeg.
Just wake up at night for next few nights start acting drama screaming and forming ur suffocating.make sure he wakes up and sees you then start crying uncontrollably....tell him d odour from him is beginning to affect ur lungs.make sure you're very serious! I'm sure he loves you and wldnt want to see you hurt.he'll do the needful.keep asking God for wisdom on the matter.
ReplyDeleteNice drama.
DeleteTry this advice!
Lmao!
DeleteNollywood at dawn lol
DeleteMadam,kpele oooo.
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle no be child's play..
Madam may God fix it for you.
My relative that lives with me acts this way, very dirty young man.had to beg him to bath one day when I couldn't bear the body odour.
ReplyDeleteHave you talked to your husband expressly on how his poor hygiene makes you feel, not the subtle-hint dropping, start giving him ultimatums like no bath no sex, no brushing no kissing et al
ReplyDeleteIf e no work carry water pour am for body, he go enter bathroom by force
You must've seen all the signs but i guess you assumed it will go away.
Hit d nail on the head and tell him straight up he stinks. Body and mouth odour is like living in prison.
ReplyDeletePoster, I feel ur pain. I know it's not easy to say that kind of thing to your partner. But I have a suggestion, whenever u want to have ur bath, playfully take him along. Bath him and have him bath you. If this doesn't work, tell him exactly how u feel.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck!
As it is with most chronicles, you chose to be with him like that.. You overlooked what you couldn't stand, so you actually don't have the right to complain.
ReplyDeleteAdvice; be wise and find a way around it.
He probably stayed abroad and medically sha, bathing 1ce every 2 days is allowed 😋
May be the poster can try something romantic like suggesting showers or baths together, just to get him to have a wash. Buy him a men's grooming gift set with perfumes etc., and see if this gets him into the habit. A little encouragement could help....
ReplyDeleteCultivate the habit of both of you bathing together. Once, you're ready to bath sweet tongue him to follow you. That way he will start enjoying it. Stylishly tell him you both will take time to scrub each other.
ReplyDeleteGosh things dey happen oo.
ReplyDeleteDidn't you see it before you married? You did but it wasn't a deal breaker. Right? Exactly!
ReplyDeleteI think at this point, you become a mum for a bit. You know.... being all lovey and wifey isn't helping, so change small. Have a hard talk with him and ask for real reasons. If they are tenable give solutions, if they are not be very clear about your stance to him. Note that yoir children can pick from this habit and overtake him self. I feel bad for you mehn.... Jeez! Some type of dirtiness is a demon, we learnt that in deliverance school. Like.... minor possession that's not interrupting your life but e.g reducing love from your loved ones. Please be firm about it. Its well.
Also check his family. Are they dirty people?.
ReplyDeleteHave a heart to heart talk with him, let him know you are not happy with his attitude, is he a Yoruba man? Most men don't like to bath once is weekend since they are not going out.
ReplyDeleteMen are babies, men are babies...what do you do when your child decides to not wash up? since you are handling this with kid gloves. This grown man is being a straight up health hazard. you sleep on the same bed with an unwashed human in this our Nigerian weather? Are you sure you bath as well? No sane human can tolerate filth that they dont understand. Please take your man to a therapist, a doctor and his mother...in that order.
ReplyDeleteLet her return him when she has worked on him. Personal hygiene is non negotiable.
Poster please form a habit of birthing with him in the morning and once he comes back from work before serving breakfast or dinner, likewise the brushing of teeth, as you put your pest, you put his own too and give him, not waiting for him to come and take it.
ReplyDeleteContinuous practice of this May go a long way to help
So what makes you think she's a full time housewife? So imagine if she has a 9-5. She will still now be dealing with kids and an overgrown toddler in the size of an adult? Cajoling him to bathe? Begging him to brush his teeth. Putting toothpaste on his brush and waving it before his nose?
DeleteSeriously?
That's why Nigerian Married Women never amount to much in life. Once you get that ring that's the end of you. If you are not sleeping in church praying for your husband's wandering penis, you are battling side chiks or evil inlaws or dodging domestic violence or pampering a full grown man called your husband to eat your food, have is bath, brush his teeth, change his underwear regularly, wash his clothes, be alive to his to his responsibilities etc. Is this life???? IS THIS LIFE????
Shior!!! Tufiakwa!!!!!
Just keep accidentally spilling things on him every weekend. Palm oil, bleach, engine oil, paint, etc.
ReplyDeleteThis kind of lazy person will just use one old shirt and clean up. Lai Lai water will not touch him.
DeleteImagine the odour coming out of that mouth. Tounge will just be like white carpet grass. Nigerian women you are trying.
I think the bleach is best. It will kill the smell in case he still refuses to bath.
DeletePlease don't spill anything on him
ReplyDeleteWhy all the questions of didn't you notice this before marrying ? People can change after marriage like fim!
ReplyDeleteMy sister stop complaining. Be on top of the game always. Try many methods and see how things will work out. Once he is back from work just tell him to come with you to the bathroom so that both of you can have a bath. At weekend,use good oil and massage hell out of his brain then take him to bathroom,use sponge and soap and wash him to your taste. Use many methods ok. Set his bathroom on fire,you can lure him to come have fun in the bathroom with you in the guise of bathing. Have you introduced bathroom sex to him? Common stop complaining gurl. Your man is even manageable biko.
ReplyDeletegosh cant stand dirty men....hope he wont expect you to give him a blow job? eeewwww...pls sit him down and tell him how you feel, no holds barred. tell him no bath no sex, period.....
ReplyDeleteWow! Dirtiness is real bad because your kids might decide to emulate him. Aftetall, daddy doesn't bath
ReplyDelete