STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHEN EXCUSES COME INTO LOVE...
Hanty Stella, thank you for this platform.
I have always wanted to share my story here and ask for honest advice, but whenever I look at some people's comments on chronicles I shake my head.Some just rain insults and terrible advice.
To my story:
In May 2015 I met a guy who wanted to marry me. We kept on talking (though the communication was kinda poor), he stays outside the country. I also had another suitor based here in Nigeria and another based in China(recommendations).
Among the 3, I refer the first one, let me call him Mr A. He is well composed and humble, his charisma is wonderful.
The 2nd one based in Nigeria is Mr B, he is handsome but kinda stingy.
The 3rd is Mr C, I don't know much about him though.
I turned Mr B and C down becus of the love I have for Mr A.
In January 2017 his people came back( they stay outside too) and did introduction, paid for almost everything in list except for dowry and a few other things which my kinsmen said it ll be paid only few days to the traditional marriage.
Mr A didn't come back becus he wanted given permission in his place of work.
This year I v talked to Mr A just twice. He claims he's busy and becus of the difference in time(8 hours) sometimes hes asleep. I've kept on understanding but recently I haven't been feeling OK with it, I don't want to get dumped, anytime I ask him when they are coming for the traditional marriage, he ll say he doesn't know.
Mr B obviously loves me and said he ll not get married until I get married so that he ll not in anyway loose me. Mr A's family has been behaving weird this days, I don't know what they r up to. I don't want to waste my time. May will make it 3 years we talked of marriage and up til now nothing yet.
My question is should I keep waiting indefinitely for Mr A or should I consider Mr B ?.
Nothing is refundable becus dowry has not been paid.(A's family).
I'm just confused pls I need honest advice on what to do.
(Mr C has stopped communicating)..
*Hmmmm if your sixth sense tells you he has developed cold feet,then hold unto Mr C oh before that one develops cold feet as well.
Hmmm.....there is a change of mind somewhere. Mr C or any other upcoming to the rescue.
ReplyDeleteSee you talking about horrible advice but u don't have sense. My friend in Canada and I chat all the time, how many hours difference is that? Two times in four months and u still dont have sense.what happened to alarm clock? Abegi Your Mr a doesn't even respect you enough to tell u the real reason for his coldness(dude could be married waiting on papers. I know people like that, but those ones are respectable enough not to have relationships until they get divorced properly). Mr cee's ship has probably sailed. Don't chase him please. Let him be. You are not the only one he is checking out or was connected to. He has moved on to his other options. You are left with only B. At this point , n.a. u sabi if u want him or if u want to widen your net.
DeletePs: the moment u get serious with another person, A will come begging. Lmaoo. Sense no go kill me oo��������������. Kwakwakwa
So we are back to this 'Mr A, B, C'... thingy? Kai.
DeletePoster tell Mr A that it's over and you can't continue with him, I believe the family did not pay the dowry deliberately,cos he asked them not to. If he wants to talk to you, he will, time difference is not a barrier atall.
DeleteStart giving Mr B attention small small and stylishly speak to him about his stingy behaviour.
This poster is in a relationship with herself. Where there is genuine love, there is commitment and you put in major effort. We relate with our friends in the US and other places, so no excuse is tenable. How can you talk to your partner just twice thus far into the year? It should be everyday, if not multiple times daily. Better move on and don't settle for less. How do you know each other, how will you get along?
DeleteThrowing my cowrie shells up to ask Ifa.... mtcheew. Are you asking Jamb or Waec que? Keep waiting na you sabi. Inukwa Mr A,B and C. Where F dey?
DeleteAnd before I forget, don't expect a stingy man to morph into something different after marriage.
DeleteMy dear stop waiting for Mr. A. Give B the chance to make it right with you.
ReplyDeleteMr. A is just playing with you and just know you are all by yourself.
Think well and no fall mugu
Why did you list Mr C at all?
ReplyDeleteMr A most likely has a woman in the abroad maybe a family sef.
If I say N you say A another man say B omo na you sabi. I’d I say O you say B another man say C omo na you sabi. If I say N another man say A omo na you sabi, if I say E another man say B omo na you sabi.
ReplyDeleteDarling, these men are not good for you. A man who likes you will climb a mast to get network to reach you. If all the supposed three men in your life are acting like wet pants, it’s time to get a Mr. D and keep it moving before you’d end up waiting on someone who has forgotten you exist. Go out, mingle and meet new people. Forget abroad Men and their theatrics.
Doppel, Are you married? Do you have a boy friend? Are you currently in a relationship? If your answer is NO to the 3 then I'll suggest you stop giving relationship advice on this blog.
DeleteLol
DeleteOr what anon 16:35? Mschewwwwwwwwwww mkpi.
DeleteHalf of the married and dating women on here act like they loose their senses when men enter the picture so maybe the singles with clear eyes need to give advice ANon 16:35
DeleteIn my candid opinion, i dont think Mr A is still on this matter.
ReplyDeletePls move on. All these away guys are not too sincere.
Pls listen to your instinct before its too late. Though you did not say your age, but that is immaterial in this circumstances. 3 years is not a joke. He has changed his mind.
Give love a chance with another.
Exactly give love a chance. Life abi love can't be this complicated.
DeleteMy dear, since Mr A, B and C get as e take dey, please kindly go for Mr D.
ReplyDeleteThere is always a third option.
Thanks.
PS. I hate girls with entitlement mentality. What's the meaning of “he is stingy"?! Make your own money and stop being parasites to our nigerian men...... still yet to meet a man saying that trash talk about women; yet they want equality.
Tell me A it's over tonight and come and see him begging. When you know your self worth and tell men to go to hell, and possibly let them know they have rival. They will adjust (if they love you though), they will begin to drool and beg. Talking from experience
ReplyDeleteGuys like wasting ladies time... God punish all time wasters
ReplyDeleteWhich name should I call you,'siddon look'no 'siddon wait' is appropriate for you.
DeleteMadam better finalise things with Mr B and tell him what you want re his stingy behaviour o before you write another chronicle sis
ReplyDeleteAny man that loves u,even if it means to stay awake to talk to u,believe me he will...that mr A has a family there,give yourself brain
ReplyDeleteI just hate stories like this... Haha for God sake. You love him or you chose him cos he stays in the "abroad"? Truth is most ladies are gold diggers and want already made men, are Nigerian based guys bad or what?
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why I will choose someone overseas to someone I can see almost anytime. You better start looking out for another man that is if you're lucky and this time around, a Nigerian based.
Looks like Mr. C changed his mind. Nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn’t want to hurt you wants you to use your tongue to count your teeth...Simple. Even ordinary friends don’t keep quiet for that long.
Consider Mr. B and C. Some stingy guys can be very responsible my sister married one. He is stingy but all the kids studied abroad for University. Ask yourself what really counts in the long run.
After introduction and its three years yet no sign of him paying the dowry or planning for the marriage Smh..... And you are still asking for what to do. I think is obvious Your Mr right abi Mr A isn't serious about it anymore. He may have seen someone else or probably may have gotten some information about your family as the reasons you said the family are behaving some how. Three years is so long a time after introduction to do the needful. First thing I will advice you here is to remove emotional sentiment and attachment here and face reality. If B is still much available and ready then give him a chance since you said C has stopped communicating.
ReplyDeleteThe answer for Mr A was at the beginning. They did not pay dowry. What are you still waiting for nne?
DeleteMy dear, Marry the person you see. Forget Mr. A. If you decide to stay with Mr. A. make sure your papers are ready to move with him immediately so that he will not marry you and leave you to stay with his parents. My dear, run with your two legs.
ReplyDeleteMy dads younger sister's fiance did all that Mr, A did to your people for my people (marriage rites except dowry. He stayed for 3 years after that before he came back. When he came back, he came to our house, bought plenty things for her and told my people that my aunty has changed,she has added alot of weight. Next thing we heard is that he married another woman from a neighboring village secretly and traveled back. My aunty nearly died. But Thank God that never sleeps. She is married now to another man with children.
Mine did exactly all that yours did to your people. As per marriage rites. I waited for two years for him and he did not come back as promised. His people started mounting pressure of completing the marriage rites (paying dowry and doing traditional/white wedding in his absence). My people refused. insisting till he comes back because of what happened to my Aunty. Its been more than 7 years since then, he has not come back. To say I loved that man eeh lol.
Don't ask me what happened next. The story is endless. My dear, marry the man you are seeing. So that someone will not tie you down here.
This story is somehow Mr A, B, and C, and you waited for three years wow I can not even wait for five months you are really patient you that long the MrA must have children by now, if it's abroad person better find the one you can see and talk to.
DeletePS: Do not wait too long for a man you might just regret it.
My dear, time waits for nobody, move on as dowry has not been paid and even if it's been paid, it can still be refunded.
ReplyDeleteLet Mr B know he is stingy that's y u are restraining from being with him, before u start a relationship with him coz its obvious Mr A don't want to do again.. Break it to Mr B, break his ego by telling him he is an Akagum.. He will change 😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster, keep waiting for Mr A you hear. Since you want us to be nice and not bash you. Shebi the handwriting is not legible enough for you, wait till they spell it in clear terms.
ReplyDeleteCiao baby girl.
My dear Mr A is no more interested, are you even sure he was that much into you? Hold unto Mr C oh forget A. But don't discuss anything with A or cut off any relationship with him still hang around in case this B is all this men distraction. Hmmmmm wish I can double date or keep much people like this around.
ReplyDeleteForget A, forget B, forget C.
ReplyDeleteLook for a DEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
Even if he sends his people to pay dowry tommorrow, is dis d kind of marriage u want? D diff. In time will still be der & d busy schedule.
ReplyDeleteCan u stay dis far apart & be more of a baby mama than a wife? Or he plans taking u along w him.
Also, is Mr B considered bcos d desirable is not available? Is how now generous?
It's not only these two men that are in d world. Look very well, study, ask questions, observe before u leap.
An honest advice will seem like an attack or insult as you call it. Maybe after 5 years into this journey your eyes will be open or you can continue as Gollum in lord of the rings.
ReplyDeleteLia pleaseee don't wish that on your worst enemy ooh
ReplyDeleteOla pleaseee don't wish that on your worst enemy ooh
ReplyDeleteTell Mr A that you are no longer interested. Marry Oga B but first trash out all existing obstacles, you can tell him this one he is talking about marrying you like this, hope he can care for you cos you noticed he is stingy, proceed from there.
ReplyDeleteAs for Mr C aka Onyeoma na Beijing 😂, Biko ugbo agharala gi, so just forget it, inugo?
✌🏾️
Some men don’t just like spending on you if you’re not dating them exclusively. When my boyfriend now husband was still asking me out, if I ask him for money or anything he won’t give but when I finally agreed to date him, anything I ask for, he will give me. I was greatly surprised because I used to think he was very stingy.
ReplyDeleteSmart man!! That is how men get used by women.
DeleteWise Man.
DeleteHoney...
ReplyDeleteMr A is treating you like a commodity. You have spoken twice in 2018...TWO TIMES. Twice in one month would be horrible let alone in almost 5 months.
Mr. B is your fall back plan but you do not like him
Mr. C is not interested.
All this A, B, C business do you work? Are you done with school? Marriage is important but a serious woman doing A, B,C and Z with her life might not be as busy as she should be. Please marriage is not just about answering Mrs. You should know what you want before you step into this institution. You are actively waiting on a man who hardly speaks to you and whose family is marrying you for him in 2018. You do not know if he is an abuser or a womanizer or has some compatibility issues. You are still considering him.
I do not care if you are 45, please understand who you are as a woman and what you need from a man and what you have to offer and go back to the drawing board. Pull up all the chronicles on here and understand that marriage is no child's play. If you enter a bad situation, it can destroy you if you are not strong at heart.
In my humble opinion, you are not ready yet. This is not said from a bad place. Please reconsider evaluating your needs and wants and ideas of marriage AND THEN start considering suitors.
Your Mr.A is probably in prison that is why he can't call you always.
ReplyDeleteAll these A, B , C stories. All the best. You may just find your G someday
ReplyDeleteHow did you conclude Mr. B is stingy? trust me a guy who earns his money legitimately won' spend on a babe that doesnt have his time. I cant's call any guy stingy because, sometimes It takes the right things and right approach to make them spend. As long as you aren't his he would most likely not spend.
ReplyDeleteMr. A is forgettable. 3 years??!! Una dey try oh! If he was even the type who calls everyday and visits when he can steal time to, I would have asked that you ask him real questions. But as e dey so, just tell yourself he doesnt exist. Ignore his messages hencefroth cos my dear you are very single. That is no relationship. NONE.
Give Mr. B a try. And remain a mermaid.
Calling Mr B stingy got me pissed off with her story.
DeleteYou never give him attention but you want him to be spending on you. Nonsense
You know what? Wait for Mr D.
ReplyDeleteHmm na wa ooo. This story be like say e dey refer to me. My main bf going to U.S saying I should wait for him. Am 27yrs already.I have anot her banker who I think is stingy. Nd one other guy that has bad legs but doing well.if my main guy no engage before e go. I move on
ReplyDeleteIn this age of Whatsapp, messenger, IMO, Insta dm, Twitter dm, text messages, FaceTime (add your own) ... someone still has excuse for poor communication? When a man isn’t into you, my dear, he cannot be bothered...
ReplyDeleteTrust me, I know what I’m saying
I'm sorry about the wrong impressions I got about the com enters. I'm really encouraged, thanks for the constructive criticisms and sincere advice it ll go a long way in making my life meaningful. Thanks for helping a sister, I'm very grateful.
ReplyDeleteYou are going to be alright dear.
DeleteDon't go with Mr a. He's lying. I live in America and I talk to friends in Naija weekly. Not to talk of if I have a girlfriend there.
ReplyDeleteTHIS BITCH IS A GOLD DIGGER WHO HAS NOTHINH TO OFFER IN A UNION. FROM HER STORY ITS ALL ABOUT FINANCE AND PAYING UP DOWRY AND WANTING TO BE MARRIED DESPERATELY. FOH
ReplyDelete