Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

I have never read anything like this before....

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

THE EFFECTS OF A REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD MARRIAGE:

Thanks for this platform,Stella. You are doing a great job. I am a visitor of your blog. And I appreciate your blog.

I suppose this will qualify as a narrative chronicle on your blog, because I urgently need as much help as I can get.Please understand that I am trying to hide my identity on account of the nature of my job; a job I can now barely do because of my ill health.

For over 3 years, I have been suffering from anxiety disorder;it now gives me heartburn. I have been admitted in the hospital severally, and used drugs to no avail. Doctors and pastors have attributed it to my marriage.
Please, if you are reading this and know the best cure for anxiety disorder, without side effects,please help out.

I met my now enstranged wife in the southern part of Nigeria, and invited her to join me in the north.We were in the cab home from the park when she quarreled with me over the name of a certain town.She would argue with my friends she was just meeting.About 3 days after she arrived we argued again over where things should be positioned in my house. 

In an effort to explain things to her,she flared up and asked me whether my sister is better than she is? I was shocked because she does not even know the person she was casting aspersions on. To calm the situation down,I went outside the gate.She came out and demanded why I walked out on her, and further continued to insult my sister and myself. So,I asked her to leave my house the following day. But she said she was not leaving, as long as I have slept with her. A friend came and settled the matter telling her to at least show some respect to me and family members.

She eventually left after about three weeks. And shortly there after, she called that she was pregnant. I didn't want to have a child out of wedlock, though I knew she is trouble yet something was urging me on. My friends and neighbours told me not to marry her but I just had this belief that she would change if I continue to reason with her. And especially because we speak the same language, I felt we would at last understand each other,and if I keep on taking her to the church.

The constant quarrel and fight continued till date. I see for the first time how a man suffers domestic violence. She announced she will no longer attend my church and began another Church. She would fight with neighbours,fight her siblings in my house.She locked her phone with a code and searches my phone everyday I close from work.If she asked for money,and I can't give her complete, she would come to my place of work to fight me,boasting that I should know she doesn't have shame.

A lot happened, there is no space here to tell it all.She had told me that I should understand she is stubborn, and when she is talking or angry I should just keep quite but it was that suppression of anger and frustration to gave me anxiety disorder. I couldn't sleep properly for about 2 years. She would raise issues for the little things. Brought lots of her siblings to the house,and refused my siblings visits. My people protested and came to the house to join issues with her,and that was when they actually quarreled for good.The whole issue began to affect my work. She got angry because of my people's quarrel with her,and made the house a living hell for me. She would go to my friends' house and would tell them the secrets I told her about them,a secret I told her so she would know how to relate with them. 

Even my friends were shocked that a wife could actually betray her husband like that because they try to put themselves in my shoes. And because I suffer from anxiety disorder, I can barely speak. I was just frustrated, and was looking for a way out.She wound argue with her own pastors, though she was the one that called them to come and chastised me.The pastors will be telling me they can imagine what I am going through. She complained I don't have money,and that she was supporting her family before the marriage, yet she was selling in a caravan,broke like no other. Though I opened a shop for her to sell male clothes, she said she preferred to be visiting Dubai to buy. I don't have the money.The father calls her everyday reporting and complaining to her how her brother is using drugs and threatening him. 

We barely have time to live our lives.In the process of those calls,she will be shouting on the phone,so I could hear,telling her father that she is not happy here either, as I have stopped sleeping with her. I keep on telling her that the anxiety disorder dissuades me from having sex,not because I cannot sustain an erection,but the fear that I might collapse while at it. She had told neighbours, my friends and family members that I have been depriving her of her right to have sex. The disgrace was excruciating.

The tension in the home reached a level that she broke a bottle and wounded me with it. She threatened to poison me. It was this fear that I asked her to go meet her people, so I can come with my people for settlement. She was a month pregnant at this time. She insulted my family, took her shoe off,holding it with her teeth and swore that my family cannot say anything to her. So,sensing that things have become dangerous, because I didn't want to be attacked in my sleep, I left the house. This is after calling her father,explaining her violence to him and the father was talking like he was about to weep,saying that he cannot tell her to come home. My elder sister asked her to come to her house in another city and stay with her,till we settle, she refused. 

I was sending upkeep because I still had some savings and can still do some work. I sold my car,so we won't starve. Yet,she kept the quarrel up,saying she would deal with me. I cried,pitying my child. Afraid for my life and his. Nobody could help. She said nobody can settle the matter. Things spiraled out of control. I began loosing jobs faster than I can imagine.Troubles here and there. She changed the lock in my house. Until she came to say she was travelling, she needs money to travel. I gave her money twice till she left,by which time she was about three months to due delivery. I kept on borrowing for her upkeep. My health worsened to the extent I cannot leave the house. I am afraid of almost everything. 

I jump when I hear voice. Nightmares almost everyday. Dreams about writing exams. Sometimes, I see her in my sleep coming to me through the window. People are saying she has this spirit,I don't know. I discovered that almost all her siblings are afraid of her. I have begged her to please let go of whatever the problem is but her tone of defiance remains the same. She went to the village to gather crowd against me,threatening that she has not started to deal with me. And she has two kids for me. Some village people called me,shocked that I married somebody that could do that to me. 

Friends called that they stopped picking her calls because when they try to advice her,she does not allow them to talk.
I can barely work these days,much less raise the money to take care of my health to go look for my children. If I called and try to talk to them,she would hurry me off,saying, send money,send money. I am heavily in debt,because family members have their problems too.

I spoke to her uncle,and he told me he has heard everything through his own senior brother and when he tried to advice her, that she insulted him. I also spoke to her aunty who from all indications told me that,she got her behavior from her mother. Saying that her mother troubled her father so much that they were not in good terms. I didn't know these before the marriage. I was surprised because during the marriage,they were all insulting each other,and I was the one settling her father and his older brother, together with another brother as they had argument over what I didn't know.

Painfully for me is my children I have been unable to see because of my health. I struggle everyday to be able to come out of the house. Anxiety disorder is a terrible thing. I feel pains in my chest. Acid reflux comes out of my mouth,if I talk for a while. I am depressed and can hardly sleep.

Please somebody out there,indicate if you know the best cure for anxiety disorder.I have tried psychiatric drugs as prescribed by doctors to no avail. I have these negative thoughts. Heartburn each time I suffer fear. I am afraid to ride in a car. I have not done so for over 3 years. Doctor say it's in my mind. I fear to eat certain food also. Thank you.

*wow,i actually thought i was reading something from a Nollywood movie.....Oga how can a woman break you down like this?