Hmmmm.......na wah!!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
UNLUCKY IN LOVE
Dear Stella, I don't know where this fit but I need advice.. Just 2 weeks ago,I celebrated my birthday, right now I am so sober and gloomy..
I am always unlucky when it comes to meeting the right guys. Ever since my university, the ones I love dearly always end up hurting me and breaking my heart, maybe because I show more affection, commitment or I just mingled with the wrong guys..
I have been in a relationship with a guy for almost 2years, I truly love and he does too(or so I thought), I reside in Lagos, he stays in PortHarcourt. He isn't too buoyant so we don't get to see each other all the time, we are both graduates, though I am working, while he is still job hunting ..
Stella I love this guy, despite the distance and financial status, I have been sincere, committed and honest but at few occasions I have had reasons to doubt his sincerity.
I once called when his phone was stolen,(he reached me with another line ,so i called much later with a different no due to low airtime)he couldn't recognise my voice and immediately he said" baby I'm at the park trying to get a bus to your place" he kept talking about things to buy, how long he'll stay and all sorts,till he said lily I'll call you back ".
Stella I cried and cried, later I called and confronted him with the info, he denied and said he knew it was me all along, I felt stupid, but out of love and I wasn't too sure I forgave him..
Stella just this night, I called him and during our conversation I heard a female voice, I was so sure, I confronted him and he quickly changed the topic..unknowingly i was recording the conversation, so I listened to confirm my fears which was true..
Stella this guy keeps lying to me, he doesn't have much but I am not after material things, just someone to love and build a future with..This relationship has affected my self esteem, even when I know I'm right sometimes I apologize just to make peace because I am very emotional..
It's clear he is a cheat and not sincere, the problem is how do I move on after the break up( cos I'm ready to walk away) , I don't want to hurt myself , fall into depression, this is the 3rd relationship which I always loose out..
Is it now a crime to be faithful and loyal.. I don't have much friends so I take my date(boyfriend) as my best friend too.. Stella, I am heart broken please advice me before I do something stupid to myself..I'm just 25..
*How do you move on after the Break up?You keep walking and dont look back.....This Relationship is non existent....You are not in the same state,that should give you the required emotional space to move on.....
AND STOP INVESTING TEARS IN ANYONE WHO IS NOT WORTH IT!
Your own will come. Please leave this guy.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard done but you can move on which is good news. No matter how sad you are, the sun won't stop shining and time won't stop ticking which means no matter what you have to move on x
DeleteOnly you can give the permission for anyone to rubbish you. He will never change. Move fast. Thank God u have a job
DeleteWEIRD
DeleteI pray to love like you.
It’s only a FAT ugly monkey face that would be crying for a riff raff like this!...
ReplyDeleteEven people with those attributes are not stupid like this poster!...
Imagine crying over a fuck boy that has nothing to offer you!...
Mtcheewww
🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂queeen u don come back with ur kolo 🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣....pls don’t disappear again...ur comment is always epic🤣🤣🤣
DeleteQueen take it easy on her. You know how some girls who are so in love act. Blame loving with heart and not head.
DeleteHaha! Chief Chief!!
DeleteTrue that.. How I dislike it when a babe carry man matter for head like this. Kai! Anyway, we learn from mistakes.
Distance is a barrier in a relationship join so let him be, cry all u can since u have got enough tears to shed and move on jare.
Foolish woman!! To think ure even married with kids makes me wanna puke in you. No sensibke comment ever comes from that ur empty head, ure the smart one eh? You Pig!!
DeleteMadam linda, fat people are not the reason you grew up wretched and poor. I understand seeing their flourished skin back then dries you up in your bones like they get it all good to eat, while you go to bed on empty stomach huh?
DeleteHere it is, trying so hard to get back your pound of flesh as an adult simply because slim is currently in vogue, will not heal you of that childhood bitterness and suffer ma'm. Only love can
One would think that your using jazz to hook a business boy will make you feel better, but no you are still bitter. Sit your raggedy ass down ma'm and get busy with managing your dirty husband's smelly mouth and studying 1001 ways to try and love an illiterate (albeit he's like you). Rather than looking for people to join you in your cessi pit of bitterness in the guise of putting down fat people.
Ps: we know all the drugs you have swallowed for succulent flesh, but e no gree come ba? Good body doesn't attatch itself to bitter souls ma
Thank you jare the fool dey always talk as someone wey get mental problem
DeleteAnon 20:59 tell another story. Linda is good looking
Deleteawwwwww...sorry baby girl..😯
ReplyDeletecome be my soul sis... i took a walk too & I'm soooo glad. Yes...you need to stop communication ASAP. For your sanity sake.. channel your energy into your job..have fun & stop communications on ALL platforms!!
Dude is a joke!!
I wonder how some people love n trust a mere mortal wholeheartedly... Like you think that person is an angel? Even Lucifer,an angel betrayed God...shine ur eyes in love, give room for doubt, pad ur heart with foam n always brace for impact, that way you won't be hurt when or if the accident occurs...
ReplyDeleteThank you my sister,you have said it all. Love is not worth killing your self for. Use that mind, heart and soul to love Jesus Christ. And for your future relationship shine your eyes well and watch out for same character traits with your ex relationship to determine the kind of lover/boyfriend they will turn out to be which will save you from having the same bad experience with the last three men in your life.
DeletePoster it is well with you. You will be fine at last. Just move on and stop loving man with all your heart, with all your strenght and with all your resources. It is well again.
ReplyDeleteNo cry too much...... i am sure distance is the curser for this
Stella, thank you o imagine the question.
ReplyDeleteThe person you’re wasting your time on is enjoying himself. Don’t ever think that long suffering with a man would make him love you more. While you’re busy ‘managing’ with a man, he is busy building with another woman.
Darling, this too shall pass and you’d look back soon wondering how you ever thought it would never getgood. Just ensure you don’t settle for less, a good man would find you. I am tired of these chronicles from women everyday, aren’t the men also going through stuff? Please women, learn to move away fast from bull shit and always demand for the best. Women who are getting loved and adored by their partners have one head, stop lowering your standards in a bid to keep a man. Only a man who wants to be kept would be kept. Focus on work, If you don’t have friends and you genuinely want to make new one’s that isn’t hard at all just keep an open mind when you meet people with like minds. You’d be fine.
You record your conversations with your boyfriend??? No wonder they keep leaving you. The problem is you!
ReplyDeleteYou didn't see the part she wrote "unknowingly"abi English is your problem? So out of all she wrote that's all you saw. Really!!What's bad in recording a conversation sef? If you don't have any good thing to say don't comment. It's your type that make excuses for guys even when dey are wrong,I pity you
DeleteI'm trying to understand how you made that correlation between unknowingly recording a conversation and her boyfriend cheating on her.
DeleteIf you believe anyone can unknowingly record a telephone convo, then you are even more stupid than the poster.@Anony. @Ralu....No one wants a clingy partner with trust issues. That's why they find someone else who gives them peace.
DeleteKikki, receive sense in Jesus name!
DeleteAmen!!!
DeleteWhy not change your strategy.. Go for ready made guys not fresh graduates.. . Guys around 30 to 35 yrs 😊
ReplyDeleteI agree
Deletethe problem isnt their age, but i wouldnt recommend distance relationship again, nothing yeye pass distance relationship
DeleteAbi now..Just move on already.Money he no get..Ko wulo fun oyinbo o shot fun ijoba..mtshewwww
ReplyDeleteposter you no dey hear "don't put all your eggs in one basket"
ReplyDeleteI have said this here before "if you are not married you owe no one(boyfriend/girlfriend) faithfulness"
there is nothing like cheating in boyfriend/Girlfriend relationship. Always have plan B boyfriend/girlfriend maka heart attack egbuo gi na breakup.
100million likes for this your comment👏👏👏👏👏...who faithfulness epp😕😕😕
DeleteTomorrow better don't come and call any girl who does such loose or keziah.
DeleteHaba Chike😉 Loooooooool! Toooooor
DeleteLmaooo @Ralu M
And the people with same IQ level with Chike will applaud, cus they cant stay faithful.
DeleteZero self control and longer-throat, thats why u need more than one boyfriend/girlfriend.
Dear Poster, I'm very single and searching and I'll treat you right.
DeleteDid I send this? Just that mine is very very rich, 3rd relationship going down the drain just like that, and this my last relationship have never ask him for a dime but I love him more than the others.
ReplyDeleteFor now I need to rest from dating even when I'm not a kid but need to rest n do more of praying and see what God will do before I will come n die for man matter. The God I know can make the right man miss road and just come knock on your door.
My cousin the hussy God revealed to him his wife my cousin in the dream n he never met my cousin ever before in his life, the day he saw her he said you my wife and cousin just left her relationship so all road where so clear they married in 3 months, as the guy too needed a wife and was seriously praying for one.
My dear you see this man Jesus? He can work magic for people oh so relax OK.
talk true?
Deletehe works magic?
why didnt anyone tell me since na?
Jesus Christ works miracle not "magic"
DeleteMagic na Satan's work; fake -the more you look the less you see.
At 25, you should ve many toasters. Moving on should not be a problem for you in this modern age...go get some nice dress, take yourself out ,go swimming or watch movies. Trust me, you gonna meet so many persons out there who are ready to be your frd.And don't tell me you are ugly because nobody is ugly nowadays, all you need is correct packaging..
ReplyDeleteI know it's not so easy to move on but you sounded like a good gurl who deserves better , go out there and be happy. Goodluck.
but Kidjo after your packaging, still yet nothing oh
DeleteHahahahahaha. . My dear, I'm no longer in the habit of flaunting my blessings on social media o, before those my village people will remember me...Sorry eh, private life ti take over,even if I born ,nobody go know for here unless one bird come whisper am here
DeleteDump his cheating ass and move on! Haba! U want to develop hbp nitori okunrin lasanlasan..
ReplyDeleteNigerians just dont get it at all, humans are not all built to withstand crisis on same level, some of us can be very emotional & soft hearted, if its easy for u to just dust urself & look the otherway after a breakup, its hell for others!
DeleteSaying "Move on" "Move on" sounds easy 2u but its not for everyone!
I know what heartbreak did to me few years back, i couldnt get over this girl for almost 2years, i wasnt sitting at a dark corner crying or looking helpless but i walked around with this heavy n broken heart, everything reminded me of her which made it worse, even if u gave me Beyonce that time to marry, i wont agree... i just wanted her back, it was so painful cus i didnt cause the breakup! Gradually, time did the healing & at the end i was glad it didnt work out.
Stella moving on is not that easy for some people while some it as easy as, like my sis that one can love on within 2 hrs self I mean someone she was madly in love oh while on my part it can take 1year self as I'm highly very emotional that I wish I was like my sis.
ReplyDeleteMy last relationship was long distance and I'm from a very strict home, so you can imagine. Just try and move on look for a guy friend and be chatting with,with no time you will be fine.
Try and concentrate on your work for now, the right man will come at the right time....
ReplyDeleteMy dear wipe your tears and move on. Port Harcourt guys are not faithful at all. Most of them are chronic womanizers.
ReplyDeleteJust do you know, you are not alone in this. Just give yourself sometime and hopefully a nice guy will come your way. Try to hold back on your part when you meet someone else. Don’t be too lovey lovey all over the guy. Give him some space. Some guys get too overwhelmed and girls too want too much too quickly. Take it slow!!
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteThis man is not good for you. You have explained perfectly why you keep getting into bad relationships. You keep investing in men who are not available. In two years, this man has given you many reasons to doubt him and YOU keep apologizing to keep the peace. He knows you are desperate so he will continue on. Once a man shows you he can not be trusted, you forgive and keep it moving. Do not be too quick to jump into a relationship, actually get to know these men before you devote your time. heart. body and finances to them. Do not act like he is your saviour from heartbreak. Men will use all sorts of words to get you and they can sniff a desperate woman from afar. You are 25, now you need to start making good decisions before you gather unnecessary baggage. The right man is out there but you need to work on your self confidence and outlook on life. Get these straightened out and you will stop settling for any tunde, danladi and iheanyi.
Lover girl...las las u go dey alright...just replace ur heart with stone
ReplyDeleteU are just 25 but you mate are busy grabbing councillor in UK receive sense & move on
ReplyDeleteHmmm! You remind me of the one and only room mate I tried to have in uni. Like.... moving from one bad news guy to another. At a point, she will be talking and you will be wondering if youre the one who is stupid for not understanding what she's saying. Her confidence had been sooo badly destroyed that it was infectuous. I quickly moved out when it was beginning to affect my finances. But then again, it came from alot that was rooted in her childhood.
ReplyDeleteSo my dear, even if you break up with 1 million guys, you will most likely land in the same spot because you have some deep rooted issues. And all these comments here won't help you answer those questions, you have to sit down and ask yourself how you got to this point? Are you naturally needy or you were brought up to always attach to people for happiness? How were you raised? What is your love language? Do you hang around people that feed you that language? Are you lacking love from family, that you always pour all these emotions on guys you date, even when they aren't committing to you in the same way? Cos even in marriage, you don't offload on a person. Why don't you have friends? Are you one of those who say 'friends are bad' and so you don't want one? Or is it part of the confidence issues that have made you cave in and believe a guy will fill that vacuum? Are your parents divorced? Who trampled on your confidence at the start? Have you dealt with that hurt or you're rolling it over? These are examples.
Sit down, cry, be depressed for a few days. Hitting an emotional rock bottom is allowed soemtimes, so you see how bad it has become with you. Then come out of it and start tracing the genesis of this problem. If you don't, you will fall for the same type of guy and still make the same mistakes and still land in the same spot. You're 25 my dear, you shouldn't be dating a jobless guy at this stage, there many single good looking guys putting their life on course. And you feel you dont deserve better? You should be building your personality and looking for the perfect match who will complement you. If you don't take time off the dating scene to address these issues, you will end up marrying a riff raff who will mess you up. Then you wake up years later saying 'men are scum'. I've told you oh!
Ewooo. See epistle always having someone that similar things happened to... Wonder why you don't have anyone that has the same problem with yesterday poster....oya send robust reply
DeleteAdadoran about what is that your name thanks for firing miss fire for fire
“Cos even in marriage, you don't offload on a person”- Word 👍
DeleteAndrodidirin stop hyping yourself as anonymous your begining to make a fool of yourself.
DeleteShatap Anonymouse18:58.una go find trouble come dey claim victim when person fire back.Kudos to the androgirl & if u like,say na me be her.Compound fool.
DeletePlease wipe your tears and quit the pity party biko.
ReplyDeleteIt's not your loss baby, it is his.
That energy and money you used to invest in him, now is the right time to practice self love.
Put your thoughts together and spoil yourself.
Laugh more.
Be open and friendly to other people.
Treat yourself right.
You are just 25years and not 95!
Don't ever think of going back him because the joke will be on you.
All will be well soonest.
When you go into a relationship with a serios mindset you will fail. Always go with the mindset you want to have fun. Not every relationship ends in marriage.Your Mrs serios scare men away from u. Who said only men have fun in a relationship. N date a guy in the same state with u. Who faithfulness to a guy who is in another state help ? He is not even picking up your bills n you are so bent on playing with your hrt. Untop of this, him go chop your indomie clean mouth.
ReplyDeletehmmmmmm, please poster move on. The relationship is a bad news already.
ReplyDeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeleteI know you will go back to him, even after advising you. 'you confronted him and he told he knew you were the one' and you believed him|? lmao. The guy will be like this one na real mumu. That's how you girls see fire and intentionally jump inside, thinking the guy will change.
I know it's not always easy to move on, but you must move on. Don't ever go back to that again. That guy is bad news.
Dear poster, I have realised one thing about men, they don't like ladies that are too emotional, and I guess that is your problem. You are too emotional.
ReplyDeleteMY dear from what u r saying wether u move on or stay u will be miserable and depressed so chin up and move on. Being without a boo is not the end of the world. Good luck!!!
ReplyDeleteI think you should...
ReplyDelete1. Don't tell him it's over, don't say anything.
2. Get your shit together , face your job seriously, get a makeover if possible. I'm talking fashion, make up, et al.
3. Hang out with your friends, take pics, flood social media.
4. Appear busy
5. Keep being busy, let him be dropping comments like,' you no longer have time to check on me abi'
6. Start dating someone else , you are a young girl, it's not cheating.
When you do all these , two things will happen. He will either notice and complain or not notice nor give a fuck. If he does , that's when you play your finishing move, hopefully it will include your pre wedding photos that will stun him to fear God. Or you will finally understand that he never ever cared about you, in which case you have moved already. My money is on the latter.
Never carry a man on your head like gala, not to talk of a broke ass, you go break down!!!
uhhhhhhhh I feel your pain sister girl but you gats run before its too late
ReplyDeleteIt is always "difficult to move on" when you've been sexually active with him, aborted
ReplyDeleteor contacted sti or he dis-virgined you. These are my findings in my years of counseling.
The way to move on is to move on and take the lessons along.
Make up your mind not to indulge in any of the above as you go.
You'd be okay.
Rule number one NEVER DATE A BROKE BROTHER.
ReplyDeleteRule number two never give too much you can't afford to lose.
Rule number three never forget rule number one.
And the last but not the least rule. Never love a man more than u love ursef.
I would love to tell u so many things but as it is I am really enjoying this rum and I would have loved to send u some shots to help ease the pain for a moment but I can't.
First of all, how do you date a guy at 25 who ain't working? And you kept saying you weren't making any demand from him all in a bid for the guy to see you as a good girl? Really? But that's not how it works, I don't care how much I have or make, it's my guy's responsibility to take care of me . Call me a gold digger I don't care. It won't make him love you more. Don't you people learn things from this blog? Me in I've learnt quite a lot. It's a man's duty to provide and it's in their nature to do so,willingly o. Stop emasculating them by acting all independent and shit. Get some respect for yourself. You're in a relationship for chrisake! Do your part and let the man do his. No man is broke or stingy, if you're his priority, he will move the earth to make you happy. Stop forcing things and being pretentious all in a bid for a man to choose you. You're good enough! @RONALDA, Thanks for your teachings. I learnt a whole lot from you.
ReplyDeleteI know you may not take this advice like all the rest you've received but will still put in my bit.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was your age i only cared about love so I dated guys who weren't on par because I felt a broke guy would treat me better. For a rich man is synonymous to an arrogant one in this vain world of ours but alas I was wrong.
A man who is broke isnt necessarily humble or faithful as we have been conditioned to believe. It's a trap set for we women so as not to have standards and to continually settle for less.
The scale did fall from my eyes, i instantly made a u-turn and stopped loving with my heart, but my head.
I started treating relationships prospects, like job applicants at an interview vying for a post at my firm where I was the boss.
Men kept coming, albeit not to my new acquired taste but they kept coming and I didn't budge.
I was single for four years , mind you I was rebranding myself and kept blazing trails in every aspects of my life , didn't care whether I got married or whether a man liked me or not.
Guess men could smell a confident lady from afar same as with a desperate one. Now am married to a man who values me more than a goldsmiths values diamond and pamper like am an egg, why?, because he knows he didn't do me a favour by snagging me up, for if he had wasted time someone else would. Mind you he is also a total package i wouldn't have dreamt having if I had continue to tow that line I once did in the past.
My advice to you is this
Now if only you would just listen, Focus on your life, pray like your life depends on it because it actually does for God's got you, be unapologetically yourself.
Know this, your time, attention even stares is a luxury any man would be blessed to have and darling don't ever settle because men don't settle so why should You? But because most especially you serve the best.
Old ass trick! But they never hear. Be following man like he's a demi-god.
DeleteI've told her up there, if she tows this line she would end up with a riff raff. If you don't place value on yourself, no one else would.
Kinda feel sorry for her though....
I was in this situation before I gave my life to Jesus Christ. I stayed away from sexual relationship with every day midnight prayer. Sometimes, I cry and ask God why me?.... On the 7th month, i was on my way back from work one beautiful Monday evening. I came down from Keke, and this black geep kept following me. The guy signal me, and ask me to join him in his car so he can drop me. I refuse. He ask for my number, I gave him. He ask me my free days, I told him Saturday and Sunday. He then said he will call me on Friday. He Called as promised and told me his intentions, and I told him I can't build my relationship on sexual ground bcs of my past experience. He said he is cool with my decision. He ask me to come visit him, I told to come to my house instead. He came with all my fav food and drinks. And a love card. He told me he wants to settle down with me. I thought he was joking, until his next visit. He told my mum his intentions and ask for the bride prize list.... I started crying " Tears of joy......."
ReplyDeleteThis man "my husband " is more than I wished in a lifetime, even more than I hoped and prayed for. He has been the reason I am this happy and great. There are many reasons to be sorrowful but he filled my face with an untold gale. There are so many reasons to give up but he stand as a sure friend. I can shout of his love on the mountains. I can hire a thousand orchestras to sing of his care because he is so special to me.
He always know how to make me smile, even when I’m down.
He is such an interesting man and He knows so much about everything. He is such a chivalrous gentleman when he is with me. I enjoy his company more than anyone else’s in the whole world. I never feel like I need to hold back while talking to him. If I got to relive my whole life, the only thing I would change is that I would have met him years ago. Only my heart could tell him how much I love him, my words aren’t enough.
I feel so protected and safe when he is around me. I wish him All of heavens best now and forever!
What is his occupation?
DeleteHis faith?
Or he just drives a "geep" (sic.) and you said "yes" and married?
Supposing he did not have that kind of car,
Deletewill you have married him?
Supposing you found out that he was indebted of millions
will you have married him?
Are u sure is not my bf you are talking about? ?? Am lily and he is in ph and am in lagos
ReplyDelete20:36 You don't need to know his faith and occupation bcs you are irrelevant. Yes, he drives jeep and I said yes! If my happiness dey pain u, go hang urself. Jealousy dey make person life dey stagnant.
ReplyDelete20: 27 When you follow God with all ur heart, he give you a complete package, not a counterfeit husband.
Poster what are you saying that you are thinking of how to walk away if we could walk away from a broken marriage that the three type of marriage was done and we survived it what is it with just an ordinary relationship break up. Lady last you will be fine tine heals all wound,just give yourself some time, at first I tot I will die but here am I today doing better, am happy, I love my new self, every man is a cheat, they all come from the same family of cheaters.dont end your life cos of a man, someday love will find you and you will be happy you walked away. Be strong dear, cheers.
ReplyDelete