These days i dont think it is still like it used to be...............Gosh i had a Father who was so strict that i hated him then cos everywhere he blocked,every move he blocked!
I couldnt do anything i wanted or use my voice...It was so bad that i began to revolt even though i knew what the consequences of my actions would be.....
I was forever lying down for my back and bum to be flogged but after a while i didnt care anymore...lol
My story might be childs play compared to yours..lol
Are you a strict parents now because of what you experienced in your childhood?
Most of us are strong today because of the discipline we received and most of us are 'damaged' today cos of same!
whats your story?
My mother was super strict but getting pregnant under her nose with sleeping by 7pm and not allowing me make friends or going out humbled her. It shocked her to her very foundation and she changed.
ReplyDeleteBeing strict isn't as common as it were in those days. My dad never hit me once but d cane my mom gave me in ds life included d ones for my grandkids Lolz. Not bcoz I was stubborn but because I was too quiet for her. I also believe life huddles plus being a teacher made it worse. I don't support being strict but be FIRM as a parent. Kids are now so disrespectful and disobedient even at 3yrs old and it's worrisome! As much as my dad never hit me once ever, I dared not touch anything he says we shouldn't touch. Like I do say, train your child d way you like n watch them grow d way they like. You will reap it at d end.
DeleteLol. E suppose humble her no b small.
DeleteThank you slikky, kids these days do not know when to talk, they can see parents having a conversation and just add their mouth, I don’t mind raising my kids how my mum did now o, abeg so that they can have some respect. Not the one that you will send a child and they will be asking you why they need to go
DeleteThe kind of discipline I got when I was growing up made me strong today, I chop beating no be small.
ReplyDeleteI will not call my father strict but protective YES, you can’t cross the road without my father feeling like all the boys wants to toast you, kai, he will wait for us after school so no one will get the opportunity of saying hello 🤣. Male classmates where never allowed over to our house, male neighbors were never allowed to say hello for the fear of the “governor” as he was nicknamed by them, but funny enough my mum was very free.
DeleteGood old days
@push up, u just described my dad up there, except his nickname was "baba soja". He once walked a guy out of my mum's shop cos he felt the guy was sipping his malt too slowly and may be doing that in order to get a chance to toast me. Kai I was embarrassed ehn and to think I was already in uni.
DeleteAll the same I thank God for the training and floggings I received because I got better and stronger.
Discipline is one thing. The infliction of physical, verbal, emotional and psychological abuse is another. Some Nigerian homes are very, very dysfunctional. I believe in correction and happily correct my children. In fact they hate seeing my and their dad angry or upset with them. But the level of abuse whilst I was growing up was disgusting and I vowed never to repeat the cycle with my children.
ReplyDeleteMy dad was strict, but my mom wasnt...just be home before 7pm...and dont bring male friends unless na marriage intro...lol..d freedom wa there but i did not abuse it.
ReplyDeleteMy mum was a Margaret Thatcher, she monitored my every move, the flogging was something else but I became used to it.
ReplyDeleteOnce she gathered my elder brother and her two brothers to beat me up in the room just because I went out without informing her.
Today when I flog my kids she would get angry ,that I don't know how to handle a child and I'm like do you remember how you flogged me.
Na their way. They pamper their grandkids to a fault.
DeleteGrowing up, my dad has never laid his hand/cane on any of us but living with a woman who isn't your biological mother can be hell. All my dad does is to discipline us with words which end up hurting more. But with a step mother who gives wicked punishments, beats with cane & do all sorts can be damaging. It's all history now, as I've embraced love & I'll never be an overly strict parent, whether to kids that are mine or not.
ReplyDeleteSDK, please do a post on living/growing up with step mothers/fathers.
Enter your comment...
ReplyDeletemy dad once hit me and a boil developed on the spot next day.
My parents were strict that till now I find it difficult to leave d gate except am going out.
and can't express myself except in written form.
I love my parents but wish the grip was less firmer.
My father never used the rod but will correct you with counsel you won't forget especially in the middle of the night. The experience made me I don't insult people or rebuke people in public. I received enough beating from my mother.
ReplyDeleteMy dad was so freaking Strick and it's affecting my adulthood till date. Parents plz allow your kids breathe, just instill in them the fear of God and good morals they will be fine.
ReplyDeleteBeing strict as a mother can really derail the path of a child,i can categorically say i was flogged once by my dad,once by my grandma who brought me up but my mum......may almighty God forgives her,i hear some say once u start flogging a child,it will master d child,not in my mum's case,cos u can never know d dimension of d next flogging,d previous may be koboko,or pankere or belt and d later maybe bread knife or omorogun or plant abi fan belt,make i just keep quite abeg,once in a while dt i do flog my girl seriously, i will just look at myself and say,is dis how u want to raise urs too?then will start crying cos what she did might not warrant that much beating
ReplyDeleteStella those who grew up damaged is not because of strict parents. They became damaged because their parents didn't know when and where to draw the line and it turned to abuse not necessarily beating but psychological and verbal abuse.
ReplyDeleteCorrecting a child in love is different from deliberately trying to break his/her spirit.
I grew up with strict parents. My father never beat me for once but his voice can make you pee without awareness 😂 and he left the caining and kneeling down punishment for my mom 😀.
They loved me, I knew they did but at the same time they commanded respect as my parents which they got because I knew they deserved it.
My mom will say when I was small that she has a voice of authority over my life and so will mould me to become a child worthy of the family name and one who won't bring shame to her and God.
You see any parent who will never pray that their children will be bigger & greater than them? Check the lives of such children...serious abuse is at work!
I'm in awe of my mom, how she did what she did and still does is unimaginable. I owe her and my dad a lot!
My mother tried to beat rebellion out of me. It didn’t work. It just made me more rebellious..lol
ReplyDeleteI didn’t like her growing up, we only became close after I entered Uni.
Hmmmmm... My mum wasn't strict, but when she talks and talks and u Dnt listen then she reacts but my dad is another story... He can flog for Africa, even D cane breaks he can use anything around him to hit u...am just surprised dat he has mellowed down now..in as much as D flogging was too much,i know he loved his children cos he always gave us D best he could and his been strict really helped me not I for don join bad gang tey tey but if I remember wat my dad will do to me... I go mellow...am married now with a kid, I won't be dat strict o but I will be firm cos children nowadays are something else...
ReplyDeleteMy parents were so strict especially my dad. Oh mehn, to have friends na wahala, go out nko, you must say 2 weeks in adavance that you want to go out so so day and they will drop you and pick u in like 2 hours.
ReplyDeleteThe staying home all day pushed me to start reading books i wasn't suppose to be reading at that age, got novels from my neigbours. I learnt things people way older than me right now don't even know. you cannot even have a friend that is a boy, you cannot even talk to boy self. Took us to boarding school than missionary universities.
But then again it made me disciplined. Now that I have the freedom, If I go out and it's getting dark i become uncomfortable and unconsciously want to go home.
But recently I realized that my parents was learners when it come to this stuff. A colleague at work still goes through this. Yes, at work, in her 20's. Sometimes she comes to work without her phone, they seize it at will, sometimes she wouldn't come to work bcuz she got back mayb 7pm the day before and anybody that calls her they will pick and question the person.
They didn't even let this girl go to school. She was home schooled and took a 2 year course online. Some parents tho. With all this things I think the babe is even pregnant sef.
Please parents being over strict can sometimes force your children in the wrong direction. If not for the Grace of God in my life, right now I would have been overcomed by the voice in my head turning me against my parents.
My friend's dad gets her bank credit and debit alert on his phone. Each time someone sends her money, he'll call her to ask who it was and to return the money. She opened another account in a different bank.
DeleteThis was me during my Uni days. I still have that account but I do my transactions with other accounts.
DeleteI was raised by a super strict mom but a kind and understanding father.
ReplyDeleteMy father loves me more than his own life. He taught me to think,speak,walk and act like a princess. He told me that I can do whatever I set my mind to do. He made me believe that I am the most intelligent person on earth and I must never stop learning. He taught me to never be a second best to any man.
I remember one day,that this particular boy was talking to me on the road while I was sent on an errand, a neighbor saw me and reported to my mom,my mom kept shouting at me and calling me names without asking me what happened. She reported me to my father when he came back so that my father can see what his darlyn daughter is up to. My dad called me,he said he believes in his upbringing and that he is sure I was only been harassed by the boy,he told me that he understands that I am a beautiful girl and that boys will want to flock around me but I should understand that I am a princess and I am reserved for a prince and nothing less.
I told him that the boy was harassing me but I only stopped to talk to him because I need to put him in his place.
My mom was so angry,she shouted at my dad that he is allowing his love for me to blind him,that can't he see that he gave me an answer for him on a platter of gold. She told my dad that one day,his love for me will bring him shame,that she is sure I will get pregnant out of wedlock. When my mom left,my dad told me while looking into my eyes,that he loves me a lot,and I should always remember whose daughter I am and never cause him shame.
I vowed to myself that day to make my dad so proud of me. And I did. Years later I got married to my prince as a virgin,and he has been the only man in my life,and he has never treated me any less than a queen.
I could do this because,I was not alone, Jesus is always with me. He was my best friend,he is my best friend,He will always be my best friend.
In summary,my mother who thought being strict,is the best way to raise a daughter has never stop praising my dad for being the best dad she has ever seen.
Be lovingly strict. That way,your daughter will understand you more.
Truimphant Zion.
Wow! Your father was hand picked by God.
DeleteMy mum was very strict on us that if you commit any offence you will have to stay outside and wait for the ever understanding daddy that will sit you down and talk senses into you .
ReplyDeleteMy dad was very strict....any slight rubbish...cane go reset our sense. Despite that, my younger sis was put in the family way under his nose....tho she's married n in d states now but i was so mad at my dad then that despite his overdo....shit still happened. I thank God 4 everything today...
ReplyDeleteOne day my father told me that he will just kill me and then commit suicide by driving off a bridge. What did I even do? My mother had gone to give him one exaggerated story about an atrocity I allegedly committed and I guess it was one too many. That woman really worry me ooo. Now we all cool but damn those where dangerous years.
ReplyDeleteMy dad was a very strict parent. He can flog the living day out of u. My brothers they really saw shege from his hands. He would go as far as putting pepper in your eyes. But my mum will just shout at u and give u one kind epic stare that would freak u. In all sha, my dad flogged me only once.
ReplyDeleteBut these days, we parents are not too strict with our children. We do more of talking than beating. Yesterday, I heard a little boy of 3 insulting a girl of 11 years. He said your head, see your dirty yansh. I just shook my head.
May God help us parents to train our children in the right way.
My father was very strick,growing up was hell little mistake na cain will reset your brain after that na to lock you inside and ask you to go and sleep..
ReplyDeleteMy mother was only strick whenever she sees you with a male na beating and mouthwash go settle the case.
Chai!!! Menhhh it was tough then but na everyone don mellow Down.
What's strick?
ReplyDeleteStrict is written up there.Just copy and paste.Simple.
Hian!
Mom soft one, dad hard one. My father was a disciplinarian but not strict. He'll respect your decisions if you make him see reasons.
ReplyDeleteI remember the first time I was to attend an all night party, after telling him, he just told me that if I ever get pregnant, he withdraw me from school, open a shop for me and I'll take responsibility of raising the child without help from both of them. He said it calmly but I knew he meant every word.
Mine is more of strict siblings.
ReplyDeleteMy mom wasn't that strict.
chim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
My mum was the disciplinarian maybe cos she was a teacher but they were not too strict, my dad always made it known he was so proud of us and somehow we just never wanted to disappoint . My mum ca shout for Africa choi . I remember those days of land line when someone calls mama would tell you to pick the phone and refuse to drop extension lol . My siblings would ask me to go and check if she is listening on their convo or really just forgot to replace the handset . In all I’m grateful for my upbringing and if I can do half as much for my kids would be Glad
ReplyDeleteAll the beat beat parenting and what do we have to show for it? More runs girls, more physically abusive men, more verbally and emotionally abusive women and people who think the only way to correct is by beating or inflicting bodily harm. How does a parent put pepper in the eyes or private parts of a child?
ReplyDeleteAre there stubborn children? Yes, the 3 year old insulting the 11 year old did not hear it from the womb, he heard it from his parents or close family. If you are firm and instill discipline in your children, it will take a great deal of work on your part as a parent. A lot of communicating and giving the children a voice. Barking and Beating does absolutely nothing but satisfy your own frustrations. I appreciate parents for communicating more these days, that is difficult parenting and not as easy as beating to "reset".
My parents.... Hmmmn.... My growing up was horrible. First of all, my parents were enemies. Both of them hated each other but my mum refused to leave. The result was we the children becoming the object of their venting and frustrations. My father will intentionally set traps for the children to err to he can beat the living day light out of us with those wires used to connect light from poles.back then, when he is done with you,the blisters would seem like you were bathed with hot water. Today,i basically have no relationship with him. We don't talk or even acknowledge the existence of each other, and he is still very much alive. Now my mum (God rest her soul) on the other hand was savage! A WWE wrestler! She will use her hands to do you justice! Wrestle u to the ground, sit on your chest and pound you like yam! Then put pepper in your eyes and vagina and walk you around naked! How I didn't die or even grew up a sane human being is still surprising. Growing up was hell with my parents. I hated them with some serious passion, left home at 16 got an education. Today I am a Chartered Accountant, married with children and I am scared of laying a finger on them for the fear of all those supressed deamons coming out. Instead of beating, i speak to them and pray for them. I eventually made up with my mum years later, but i was still broken by what she put us through as children.
ReplyDelete