STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRYING SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT SURE OF....
Good day Everyone,
I need help in making an important decision. I will like to hear from people that have been in similar situation in the past.
I have someone in my life he is nice and really cool he proposed to me, mind you we arent in a sexual relationship we are more like courting. He proposed i told him i am not in love with him so he decided to give me time.
Good day Everyone,
I need help in making an important decision. I will like to hear from people that have been in similar situation in the past.
I have someone in my life he is nice and really cool he proposed to me, mind you we arent in a sexual relationship we are more like courting. He proposed i told him i am not in love with him so he decided to give me time.
Its been a month now i still havent made up my mind. In the past i have been in a similar situation i turned him down, later on i started wishing i accepted. So in this present situation i wonder if i will regret it in future.
I know blog visitors will want to know if he is rich, he is not rich he is a civil servant that also does business by the side. I on the other hand will finish NYSC next month and i have plans of leaving the country, though he said he is ok with it.
My question is to ladies who married someone who they werent sure of , how did it turn out? Any regrets?
Regrets or not, if you are not sure, don't do it! Break up now and give yourself time to think instead of being in the relationship wasting time and hoping for the best
ReplyDeleteMy husband was disturbing me from 2014. I didn't like him.gave him a chance early 2017 and he proposed3 weeks after. I married him but I didn't really love him. But now, I think I love him more than he loves me. Your story might be different, but pls focus on how he treats you and how he treats others around him. You would find your answer
DeleteYour problem is you don't have any other person in your life. Don't rush into marriage to someone you don't like just because of pressure. U will regret it for sure. U obviously do not like this guy enough but cos there is no one else there you are telling yourself he'll have to do.
ReplyDeleteLady, your information is scanty; there is nothing about this man's character or what you know of him. You seem to have been "brainwashed" (permit me to say so please) by the ugly trend of looking just at a man's pocket or worth in making marriage decisions. Ask yourself questions:
ReplyDeleteHow long have you known this man at an interactive level; hot tempered, stingy/selfish, promiscuous etc.?
If this man should win a 50 million contract/jackpot today, will you "fall in love?" yea since you are only looking at his worth?
How will it work out with him having enough ties to Nigeria in job and business whereas you are facing "abroad"; which abroad and what are you going there for?
You are a graduate but it is shameful how lady graduates reason a times when it comes to marriage. If you don't look at the characters the man exhibits, you will write a lot of chronicles of pain.
Marriage will be unsure ni yen
ReplyDeleteI personally would have required a little more light thrown on the details... like;
ReplyDeleteHow old are you?
How long have you known eachother up-close?
Have you secured a VISA? & 2 which continent??
Is he your "Spec"??
Age gap between you 2?? .... etc.
...but lemme work with what i have 4 now, 1st of all entering a marriage with a head full of doubts is ill-advised, marriage naturally comes with bumps from time to time that needs stability to jump off, thats why stability, stamina (not the one in lucozade or energy drink oh) & conscious state is very required.
Secondly, throwing such a question to BVs wouldnt produce genuine positive responds, cus their map is diffrent from yours, you'd most likely be misled even if theyre being sincere 4 once lol...
in hindsight, finding a close to ur "perfect" man is almost impossible in these hard & times whr alot of men out there are very flexible with the truth. I'd say a bird at hand is worth..... u can complete it sha if u like.
Mr 18 going on 40 how far?
DeleteDon't mind Mr.18 Atheist
DeletePls, let me enjoy my birthday 2day, no negative comment welcomed... If u refuse to see me as ur younger brother & pray for me, then pls shift far!
DeleteAnon 17:23, me sef open mouth 😯😯😯 He is more like 18 going on 68...see the mature and experienced advice na, 18 indeed 😒😒😒
Deleteit is either you don't feel financially secured with him or your village people are using your destiny to launch their new Juju.
ReplyDeleteabi oh, if he was dangotes son that doubt will fly on 1st class far away to Indonesia, money just has a way of deciding for us.
DeleteHer village ppl don subscribe her life as one steady channel for DSTV
You make it seem like he is the only one giving you attention which is why you regret when he gives you space.
ReplyDeleteBetter leave the man so he can find someone else who will love him- you are holding up some else’s treasure.
Enter street and find the one that you will love
How do people marry without seeking for God's face? To me no one should tell you who to marry apart from God. That's the only confirmation.
ReplyDeleteHow do one recognize Gods face? face i havnt seen b4! abeg leave that thing its all our conscience & desires towards a particular person, we get to dream more about him & hear voices, then relate it to God talking to us! mind you there are loads of marriages broken up & they claimed God spoke to them.... how bout the pastors with 2nd wife? You mean God didnt intervene?
DeleteI beleieve when it comes to marriage, God has given us freewill.
Atheist so it is really you. You don show ya self. But I like your name Erased Ink. We are nothing but pencil in the hands of the Creator. Lol
DeleteWhy be in a relationship with someone you don't love? Whatever rocks your boat
ReplyDeleteYou just need to make up your mind as to if you are ever going to get married or not. If you aren't, fine but if you are, give marriage a chance and accept his proposal because your problem is that you are indecisive. Between, you should grab that guy fast o cause I can't imagine me as a guy and a girl telling me no after a proposal and I'll still try to convince her when she no be the only lady for this naija.
ReplyDeleteQueen and Boss will say marriage is a bale of okrika. My dear even when we love na gamble. You fit win you fit loose. But if you never play, you never know.
DeleteU r not sure, leave him before u marry him n dribe him crazy. Again, after leaving, when he finds another babe, pls dont begin start calling n texting. Abi is he d only toaster on ur radar?
ReplyDeleteFollow your instincts. Your question to married ladies isn't necessary. What works for them, might not work for you. Rat wey follow Lizard enter rain, na later e go hear am...
ReplyDeleteRemember, When in Doubt. DON'T...
Good Luck...
Lol.. that quote said "When in doubt, follow love" betta lie!
DeleteIf you are really not sure about your feelings for him then one month is not enough, tell him to give you more time for friendship.
ReplyDeleteMarriage comes with enough baggages which it's only true love between the mate can help. If you are in doubt, not in love or not comfortable with him, it's better for you to quit now when you can. As the marriage journey goes on, there will be problems which is only true love between you two that can sustain your marriage. Apart from that, with someone you are in love with, you will be able to cope and tolerate him or her. But with someone you dont love, just a match-stick can turn your home and marriage to rubbles. That is why you see some marriages that will just break down and nobody will be able to salvage them. If you look closely, there are cracks, even before the consummation of such. Best wishes.
ReplyDeletepray about it, you might definitely learn to love & appreciate him in future, just give it time
ReplyDeleteAs other BVs have said .wat works for one married woman may not work for the other. I didn’t love my husband when I met him because we didn’t court much. There were things I identified in him that were endearing to me also we could communicate easily and were open right from the beginning....we became friends..we had a number of common interests and a good number of differences. 14 years after even with all those differences do I love him? Yes I do but I am not in love with him: I love a lot of the things he does and how he loves me and can do anything for me. This has made me to love him in return.
ReplyDeleteHe was not my desired before and after we met but I looked beyond and those things I saw have been helpful thru out our ups and downs. I also made a decision to love him no matter what and always communicate no matter d problems. This na ‘loving with the head’ so it lasts longer even when I have been hurt,. Today we are best friends and our marriage is doing as good as it can at this stage.
Identify the good qualities in him cos that is what will keep your marriage. I met my hubby when I was earning 4times his salary but he always still showed he wasn’t stingy by giving me housekeeping even though I supplemented,. He insisted on buying my. Very expensive Gown too. Most importantly he has a conscience and has the fear of God. Today he is doing very well and takes care of everything not minding my own cash which is of course now far less than his lol.
That is the kind of man you should take home to your parents😆😆.
P. S I rejected someone after some trad rites had been done and I don’t regret I made that decision.
If you did plan to travel outside the country, don't accept any proposal please....
ReplyDeletechim-oma aka Miss Kapusu
Abeg I am in a similar situation.
ReplyDeleteHe is not the only one asking....or being serious.
I declined one cause he is AS and I am AS..I connect with this one he is doing fair enough for himself though i earn like 50k more than him
The second one is a widower with 3kids...Rich and all. Was introduced to him by a mutual friend. Met him a few times but then I can't say I love him enough to marry him..if I say yes to him that means its cause of money. Truth is yes, I will like to marry a man that has , I can still make quite a lot on my own.I may not marry someone very rich but marry someone okay as me will be very very okay sef.
Then the 3rd...all so serious and shit..doesn't know how much i make monthly. I'm not really into him ..I don't hate him and I don't love him I think I am just living for the moment wanting to see if there will be that spark and he stated he has a short temper. he is a civil servant and with a basic of 60k I can say I earn 4 times his salary..
Mind you he doesn't know my financial standing cause I always act like I am totally broke and ask him outrightly for money..he does all the calling..
Mind you I don't mind doing all I can but that's when I get married. I can't say he is totally with me for money cause he has never asked for money.but he is talking marriage and I have known him for barely 4 months agreed I am in my early 30's but its tiring
I just tire sef. I would have preferred the guy who is AS but then I am AS and I can't risk it. I have friends who have risked it and have AA kids. Heads are not the same.
You also want to travel!? Aneg shift
ReplyDeleteYou ladies amaze me sometimes. You know what you want, but then again you don't know what you want. This your story is not complete, "MAYBE" there is someone there still confusing you not to love this serious guy. I ask you why love and not love completely? Why hold back on your love for him, and then you expect things to change? You probably haven't stated the full reason behind your cold feet for him. That was how one lady wasted my time for close to 3 years we courted, I proposed and she was forming not ready, not knowing she enjoys being a side chic to a married man, and me wasnt financially stable cos my business was still at an infant level. Thank God I borrowed myself sense and moved on, after so much heartache and sleepless nights( wasn't easy, I must say). Now, I'm blessed beyond my dreams, and the chic wants to comeback, saying she wasn't sure then. Now, she is sure because there is finance on my side. I'm never gonna give up on true love. But if you can't love me when I was nothing, then that ain't true love.
ReplyDeleteSo my dear, I sense something is missing in this your story but I hope you will make the right decision fast or at least set him free to gain his sanity cos your type would give a man emotional trauma when the chips are down.
Dooh my brother. Come my side na, I fit help you 😁
Delete