STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
''THEM SAY THEM SAY RELATIONSHIP''
Good day Stella and all BVN.
I have been dating this guy since Nysc and things have been going well apart from little fights at times.
My boyfriend has this friend of his that stays in my boyfriend's family house (@home).At different times he has come to me telling me how my boyfriend is broke and how well he treats his girl, if he comes around to my bf's house and I am around he doesn't even ask me to dish food for him, he goes to the kitchen , dishes the food eats and dump the plate in the sink.
About two months ago, my bf got an email from an outsourcing firm he applied to. I received the mail because I added his email to my accounts.When he came back at night,i forgot to tell him till the following day.We filled the form but he didn't get a reply from them after that.
We had a fight about three weeks ago and according to him, he was angry and he told his best friend that I made him loose the job.He said he said it out of anger.
His friend went to my bf's mother to say all manner of stupid things about me and also said I made my bf loose the job.I was surprised because my bfs mum just became cold to me, stopped calling and even chatting me on what'app.I only got to know about it last night cos I snooped and saw a chat my bf had with his elder brother.
Now he is begging me that I should forgive him cos he warned his friend not to say anything about it to anyone,at the same time he has refused me from contacting his friend to give him a piece of my mind.
I just want to end the relationship and move on with my life because I feel he is playing a fast one on me.I need people's opinion on this.Thanks for this platform.
Good day Stella and all BVN.
I have this issue bothering me and i am at a Cross road on the right decision to take.
I have been dating this guy since Nysc and things have been going well apart from little fights at times.
My boyfriend has this friend of his that stays in my boyfriend's family house (@home).At different times he has come to me telling me how my boyfriend is broke and how well he treats his girl, if he comes around to my bf's house and I am around he doesn't even ask me to dish food for him, he goes to the kitchen , dishes the food eats and dump the plate in the sink.
About two months ago, my bf got an email from an outsourcing firm he applied to. I received the mail because I added his email to my accounts.When he came back at night,i forgot to tell him till the following day.We filled the form but he didn't get a reply from them after that.
We had a fight about three weeks ago and according to him, he was angry and he told his best friend that I made him loose the job.He said he said it out of anger.
His friend went to my bf's mother to say all manner of stupid things about me and also said I made my bf loose the job.I was surprised because my bfs mum just became cold to me, stopped calling and even chatting me on what'app.I only got to know about it last night cos I snooped and saw a chat my bf had with his elder brother.
Now he is begging me that I should forgive him cos he warned his friend not to say anything about it to anyone,at the same time he has refused me from contacting his friend to give him a piece of my mind.
I just want to end the relationship and move on with my life because I feel he is playing a fast one on me.I need people's opinion on this.Thanks for this platform.
*The relationship with you and his family members have been damaged,how does he hope to rectify that?And even if he does,wont the mum be too ashamed to warm up to you again?
I think this relationship is toxically messed up...My advice?...MOVE ON!
Lol.. Stella doesn't waste time to say move on.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is you guys should try and settle it. Let him clear your name in front of his family but if that doesn't help then move on.
Its complicated already. Imagine friends and family having so much say in a relationship. Just imagine whats to come in marriage.
DeleteOn point
DeletePlease darling MOVE ON. This relationship is a bigger mess waiting to happen. Its unfortunate but count your losses and walk away while you are ahead. Don't wait to be married with 3 kids nd tell us how his mother and siblings called you a witch and threw you out because of something that happened 10yrs ago. Be wise!
DeleteMbok be careful and watch your back. You don't need this kind of people. Ask yourself if you can keep up with them. Too many people in your relationship
ReplyDeleteDon’t even be bothered about that stupid friend, don’t waste your energy there, if your boyfriend wants to come back let him go and meet his people and clear whatever the friend has damaged. Make him understand that you are not interested until his mum reaches out to you. I hate when mums would be forming involved in their daughter in laws or girlfriends to their sons lives then when something comes up they will shift to one end.
DeleteI repeat do not go back until his mum reaches out to you, let him fix it
Young shidren chronicle, I have no advice.
ReplyDeleteHow I dislike girls dat go and form best friendship with a boys mother that hasn't even engaged them.
Gbam. Poster how are you again? Next time date only your boyfriend and not family. Move on
DeleteYou said my mind cos I see them as desperate girls
DeleteDont break it off completely, just distance yourself from them all... keep forming busy or out of town if possible, but open doors to other guys.
ReplyDeleteclose friends who are toxic in nature can ruin a beautiful thing.
ReplyDeleteIs the relationship salvageable? Yes provided that your bf sets the record straight with his family concerning the job issue and mama draws you close to her again and he severely limits how his friend dabbles into your relationship with him. Anything apart from this nne forget it.
Stella mama can decide to warm up if she wants to,there's no shame in admitting a wrong. My mother in law had apologized to me when she made and then acted on a wrong assumption concerning me and we all moved on. So babe if his mother is too proud and egotistical to correct her wrong not necessarily verbalizing the apology but by her actions and subsequent words then leave her son jeje because she will make life hell for you if you marry him.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"Were" not "where", papa use of English
DeleteRemove the speck in your eyes first.
DeleteNah you come do “use of English”? Remove the pencil in your eye, before worrying about the log in another man’s eye.
DeleteLook at pot calling kettle black. Did you read your own english before posting. Mr/ms correction fluid. It is WERE not WHERE. Onye British english.
DeletePls end it n move on...
ReplyDeleteNa real wah!! I concur with SDK, move on babe!! You aren't married yet & friend/family is already causing issues. Move on real fast or this is what you'll face for the rest of your marital lives.
ReplyDeleteAnon 15:08. God bless you for that comment. Only low self esteemed girls does that. He hasn't married you & you're already doing mz goody-goody wife...to what extent??
Get some self esteem girlfriend.. you don't need this!!
Next time you get such mails,send him a message immediately.
ReplyDeleteI dunno how u guys manage to relate with bf family, ur family remains in d dark till u are ready to marry me next week..only then will i allow myself to be introduced...that being said, u are now an enemy of progress in their eyes, and stop adding ur bf mails to ur phkne, dont he have a phone? All na to closemark d guy o...if i were him, i would open another email n hide it from u...
ReplyDeleteBB you just said it👍
DeleteMeanwhile aunty poster, that your BOYfriend needs to do away with that his snitch of a friend then must take you to his family house and clear the allegation, if not call it quit and find a real man.
How many platforms will you send this to?? The advice you got on BOM and joro wasn't enough?
ReplyDeleteso she has been opening her Yansh all about.....wonder how people reason what if ur Bf get to read it....
DeleteOmosexy
Thank you, I was about to say the same thing. She already sent this chronicle to Joro and BOM. What other advice she needs again. This is how people start accusing these platforms of stealing stories from one another. When in reality is the one who send in the chronicles that send it to everyone, hoping for what I don't know😤
DeleteYou need to sit him down and have a talk with him on how he is handling his personal affairs.
ReplyDeleteIf as a man he has to relate everything that happens between you two to his friend then the relationship will never work as you will always have problems of leaking informations to friends and family.
He needs to be able to draw a line between how he handles his relationship and his family.
If he wants to make things right then he should go and repair the damage to your reputation in his family and explain the truth to his mother.
As for his friend you need to stop playing nice to him,let him no that he is no longer a factor in your relationship,so he should stay away from your bf and yourself.
Your man needs to stand up to his family and friends by protecting his relationship like a real man would.
IF HE DOESN'T DO THAT THEN END THE RELATIONSHIP.
LEP😛
Dear if you were very close to you bf mum, call her n tell her that she been so cold to you n that you know why that you want you guys to talk about it. After explaining yourself tell her how much you miss those calls n messages, win her back oh or just wave bye bye to the relationship n as for your bf friend staying in their family house just ignore his character but still be friendly to him to me he still has influenced oh to use his family and break you guys up oh. Be wise don't mind Stella she like my sister that has no emotions then she was so lucky in terms of relationship just 2nd trial she married a good and successful man. While some of us has to take shit up and down before it finally OK.
ReplyDeleteDont move on try n make things right relationship were not meant to be too beautiful all the time.
U'v got some good old low self esteem going on there.
DeleteDear Lord! What manner of sadness is this? Your type ends up dying by the road side from bottled up grief and their sytems full of all the shit eaten over the years. What?!?! Even albino dwarfs with Down syndrome don’t reason as bad as you do.
DeleteThis is all shades of desperation
Deleteoh lawd.. I give up on some ladies
DeletePlease ignore this advice
Desperados
Omosexy
Where is your self esteem? She should equally go with her entire family, roll on the floor and beg the woman.
DeleteÀnon 15:32 I fear for your state of mind...the zero self worth & groveling/ doormat vibes is damn too much. Have some self esteem and worth ok? It will do you a lot of good.
DeleteEveryone deserve a 2nd chance.
ReplyDeleteWhen most people are angry, they say things they might regret later. And they most times, talk to people around and close to them. Talking to his friend isn't the problem; but the jealous friend who is out to destroy his relationship.
That his friend is a snake. His aim is to divide d guy's family.
Since u love this guy, with time find a tactical way to dissolve this friendship or bring your man to seeing Hus friend for who he really is.
For the mum, every mother will react same way or worst if fed such information. She was will come around, when ur man counter his friend's report and defends u.
Since he is genuinely sorry, it's time to maximise d opportunity and state ur expectations and desires and d way forward.
Too many fingers in the pot and it seems your boyfriend can’t separate friendship from relationship.
ReplyDeleteUnless you are not totally being honest about your attitude which might have generated the new animosity then I would say it’s time to end this and look for a better situation.
If your boyfriend can come out openly to his mother and clear your name, you can continue if not tell him to shift
ReplyDeleteAnother boyfriend/girlfriend wahala. Why should your boyfriend badmouth you to a third party? No matter how sorry he is, there is a high tendency that he will do it again. Also, I don't think your relationship with his mum can be restored.
ReplyDeleteThe ball is in your court. It's either you give him a second chance or you end the relationship.
My dear my own bf tells everything about him to his sister, any woman he date and sleep with, gives her money or sex her. No woman is good only him has a good character. And the sister being an illiterate will not want to ask him questions he supposed to and so that he won't be angry, that why he can't even try that with the 2nd sister cos that one says it as it is.
ReplyDeleteTho hé sais good things about me to her and the sister says for the first time the brother has something good to say about a woman and started pressurizing me to get pregnant so to tie down her brother who has refused settling down I outrightly told her me I can't oh,cos if the brother marries cos of pressure I will have myself to blame and regret the marriage, I'm 32 this year but you see that risk I can't take it. And knowing everything about me will be heard by the sister even when we have sex is reconsidering.
So poster you only know whether you can sail that in the midst of great storm
I agree with Stella about moving on. I am not even pissed at your boyfriend's friend. I am pissed at your boyfriend who blamed you for loosing the job opportunity. Why did he not also check his email? Why rely on you or blame you for that. For someone looking for a job, he is supposed to check his email daily. if he hadnt blamed you, or discussed you with his friend, the friend wont go telling his mom anything. My advice is to move on from that family, because the mother will always blame no matter what. The damage has been done
ReplyDeleteIn as much as moving on is the best option,
ReplyDeleteto many girls it is not as easy as it sounds
When the vj has been receiving some strafing,
with possible terminations, stis etc or perhaps
the brat was the one that collected her "virginia"
the girl is stuck and sulking.
Moving on?
Don't move alone;
Move on the the lesson from this!
The only thing filling up girl's brain aren't far from these three;
ReplyDeleteSocial media
Marriage
sex
Otherwise, tell me how a sane girl will forget an invitation to job
interview; the very thing that will fast forward the No. one up there?
Learn from this and move on.
Lol
DeleteOmosexy
Any sane person can forget anything, but she should have texted him immediately about the email. I have been on job interviews and did not get the job, blaming her is wrong because it's not like he was sure he would have gotten hired. I am not sure why his email address is connected to her own though, that is somewhat bizarre in the age of smartphones.
DeleteRemove social media and put money
DeleteSo the guy doesn’t check his own email? Is he since? Was she his accredited mail checker? I wonder the kind of relationships you people have and the kind of men you deal with... a young graduate leaves his life in another’s hands so he can blame her if something goes wrong...
DeleteThis is all shades of immature to me.. I would break up with hthe m for that singular reason!!! Not to mention all this chò chò chò upandan.. I cant deal mbòk
There are too many people in this relationship, trust me you don't want to be in it, take it from someone with an experience, this one is boyfriend/girlfriend itch, after i gave them the long rope to do as they like, wedding finished it became worse,oh yeah no body would believe i will file for divorce after just three months and for something they assumed was a trivial ish, mehn his brain reset, everybody waka their lane from that day and left me and my marriage alone, now we all get along, my call excites everybody now, we moved to Europe so where you want for see me? POSTER IT IS NOT AN EASY SOMETHING O, IF YOU CANT DEAL PLEASE WALK AWAY NOW COS IT WILL DEFINITELY GET HOTTER.
ReplyDeleteGbam! Brain-resetting move 😎😎 come and hug me 🤗🤗
Deletea relationship consists of two parties first then they get married and both the parties family get involved and becomes the external family. It's step by step not all at once there should not be a third wheel and a fourth wheel in a relationship or are you guy's engaged
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading this I kept remembering the Shakespeare play, Othello. Be very careful of friends who carry news. Othello ended up doing the unimaginable to the supposed love of his life because of the whisperings of his trusted friend. You have seen and you have heard, you will not win in the end if you pursue this relationship. Desdemona did not get any warning of the true level of deception in Othello'friend, you have gotten a very clear warning so please call it quits and move on. Better a broken romance than ending up a statistic.
ReplyDeletewhy did he not assess his mail himself?
ReplyDeletewhat if you did not have access to it?
Nne just move on already,your bf is not a man
ReplyDeleteSee your mouth like he's not a man. So he's a woman abi?
DeleteThe way you people advice that someone should move on sha.
ReplyDeleteSmall quarrel and everyone is saying that she moves on.
Poster please kindly ignore them and sort things out with your boyfriend.
Please do not underestimate the intelligence of the BVs who respond to these chronicles. Where you see simple quarrel we are looking deeper and at all players on the stage and their roles. If she takes your advice and meet her waterloo eventually please tell her not to disturb us again because she was duly warned which side of the road to stay on.
DeleteLet me use my case as an example to you poster....... I had an issue with my boyfriend in school (now Hubby). He embarrassed me in front of a lady he told me was disturbing him, i felt so hurt that i slapped him. I walked out of the relationship and he came back begging. I got to know he told the mum of the issue and the mum said she did not want me but he went back and said he lied that i slapped him so she will accept me.We ended up married but i later got to know that he lied to me because any small issue we had and still have, he informs his mother and she is damn well good at reminding me that i once slapped her perfect son. This has made me apologise for even the most stupid things just to maintain peace, even when her son is out rightly wrong what she tells me is i must apologize even when its wrong. (I have once sent just a day event of my many marital woes to Stella, may be one day i will tell it all but it will most likely be in batches cos my story plenty). Now I have adopted the silence approach, let him and his family do whatever they like while i better myself and pray God blesses me the way i yearn for. So my dearest poster i will advise you the way i wish i got someone to each time he came begging and apologizing...........PLEASE MOVE ON FAST!!!! A man who will not treat you bad or badmouth you based on what he hears, sees or what you do to him does not start in marriage, it starts from the first day he chose you as THE ONE. A man who nurses a hurt or pain that would rather tell his friend or mother rather than sit you down to talk about it is not a man but a baby not willing to grow. I just wish mothers will stop reacting based on what their sons tell them....their reaction usually does more harm than good in most cases. Please dear move on
ReplyDeleteMY dear if your man is not willing to settle this thing with his mumand thag friend of his to clear your name know you're doomed for life that is how outsidepartoes will just be sitting on your happiness so for a clearerconscious give it a grace period if he doesn't doright by you go!!!
ReplyDelete