STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..
CONFUSED ABOUT 'SIBLING' TURNED SUITOR
In a total confused state right now. I've known this guy for 14 years. 4 years ago he told me that he's searching for a wife, I introduced him to my friend.
They hit it off immediately and I was happy. But later the relationship started to dwindle. I tried my best to bring them back together but I guess distance between them contributed to it. I'm in the same location with the guy, but the lady lives very far from us. Now this guy has always been good to me, he helps me out when I need anything, we've been so close like siblings.
Last week, he unburdened his heart to me, he confessed that he has always loved me but he doesn't want to damage our friendship by confessing to me. That was why he agreed to date my friend. Now he asked me to be his girl and marry him later on.
I don';t know how to go about this, many people are aware that I introduced the lady to him and most of his friends thought we were siblings. What do I do? Because I also love him, I've been fighting this feelings..
*Fighting what feelings?You are a Joker!
If you loved him,you would NEVER have introduced him to your friend!..NEVER!
what if he had married her?
.
He wants to Marry you later on?Later on when?Are you kidding me?Are you a baby?Anyway be careful before you attempt anything with this man because it will end up messing up your relationship with your friend and a few more.
If he is not ready to marry,why is he searching for a wife?
You have known him for 14 years and four years ago he dated your friend and only just confessed?meaning they just broke up and he came to you?wicked man!!!
You better be careful of this your supposed friend.There is a name for men who behave like this
Will be reading comments.
ReplyDeleteReceived gtb dividend. gbam, the thing don dey finish. Abeg let me go and rest jare
Stella 🕪🕪🕪🕪🕪🕪🕪🕪 loud it ooo.
Delete1000 likes for this your Red Biro Comment..
Poster Receive Sense
They are both free and love each other. So why not? If you are scared because of what people will think then you are on a long thing.
DeleteThere is a name for men who behave like this. Lol
ReplyDelete#JulietIbrahim/Miracle
Dear poster, based on what you asked up there it seems you are only worried about what people and that your friend will say . Therefore, my advice is make your relationship as private as possible. Adesua and banky style.
DeleteTell him friendship is not same as romance. Tell him you want to court and get to know him and take it from there. Don't give him a time frame. Learn him as much as possible cos it seems, love is blinding you. Only then can u make a decision. Forget about what people will say. They don't matter. What matters is you. But make sure he is husband material. Love is kind, doesn't hurt, doesn't keep malice , does he love his family?.
Also, what caused the breakup between him and ur other friend? What did your friend complain about? Takeb note cos You'll taste it as well if not worse. He is perfect now cos he is in d lustful stage and he doesn't want to spoil his chances. How he treated your friend is how he will treat you. His opinions about things and his male friend s while you guys were friends won't change. He will be like them soon.
Meanwhile, I suggest you meet your friend only when you want to marry him and tell her as a sign of respect. You can still be friends if she wants to, but Keep her far from your intimate life details and decisions. Would have suggested you meet her now and know the cause of d break up, but since u mediated them, you already know.
Dear poster, based on what you asked up there it seems you are only worried about what people and that your friend will say . Therefore, my advice is make your relationship as private as possible. Adesua and banky style.
DeleteTell him friendship is not same as romance. Tell him you want to court and get to know him and take it from there. Don't give him a time frame. Learn him as much as possible cos it seems, love is blinding you. Only then can u make a decision. Forget about what people will say. They don't matter. What matters is you. But make sure he is husband material. Love is kind, doesn't hurt, doesn't keep malice , does he love his family?.
Also, what caused the breakup between him and ur other friend? What did your friend complain about? Takeb note cos You'll taste it as well if not worse. He is perfect now cos he is in d lustful stage and he doesn't want to spoil his chances. How he treated your friend is how he will treat you. His opinions about things and his male friend s while you guys were friends won't change. He will be like them soon.
Meanwhile, I suggest you meet your friend only when you want to marry him and tell her as a sign of respect. You can still be friends if she wants to, but Keep her far from your intimate life details and decisions. Would have suggested you meet her now and know the cause of d break up, but since u mediated them, you already know.
Poster the Lord is your muscle in this situation o
ReplyDeleteLol Stella is so apt.
ReplyDeleteWhy did it take him 14 years and a break up with your friend to realize his feelings for you.
Please wait this out and look before you leap before you’d end up loosing an old friend and your girlfriend.
Of course you’d feel something for him but how sure are you that what you feel isn’t just lust or affection that friends would normally feel for each other. Put yourself in your girlfriends’ shoes, I detest men who play around while lying to women about marriage. What has distance got to do with a relationship headed for marriage if he was truthful about his intention from the get go. Don’t give in to him too easily. If he is serious about settling down, then let him go see your parents or at least make arrangements abi what else does he need to know about you since you’ve known yourselves for 14 years. A 14 year old child is in secondary school gearing up for WAEC.
engine needs to be examined na
DeleteHe wants to chop and clean mouth.. Stupid men as per usual!
ReplyDeleteMadam better forget that guy and pray that your own comes.
He had to date your friend for 4 yrs before realising he had always loved u after knowing you 14 whole years. Smh.
ReplyDeleteNow he wants to date u n marry you LATER ON?? So 14yrz is not enough time. He wants to make it a round figure in 6yrs time thats when he would realise he wants to wife u.
Better get some sense before u end up sending another chronicle similar to ysday own
Lol Stella easy Naaaaaa. U know the man?... Lol
ReplyDeleteLols...your comment is funny.
DeleteStella is on point.
DeleteHer comment sweet me die.lolz
Exactly what I thought ladybird banks. Sometimes it is really hard to tell a good friend you actually love them.
DeleteSomebody is horny.
ReplyDeleteYou poster, dont u have a boyfriend whom u love? Or you have been single, waiting for when ur friend,s man will be available..what if u date him n he doesnt marry u at last? Hahahahahhaahaa
OMG.. Stella it's not like that at all. Before I introduced him to my friend, we've always been close. He visited this girl, took her home to show his people and for them to start the marriage process. I really don't know what happened between them, but I was just getting complaints from both sides, and I tried to settle them, I truly tried but seems they both refused to be settled.
ReplyDeleteFor him to come confessing to me now, I wasn't surprised because he's been a good man to me. Even while he was dating the lady, he doesn't joke with things about me. It's really not a big deal because it's a matter of saying yes or no to him.
And yes he was over ready to wife that girl, but it just didn't work out between them.
Say yes na. Why you come dey disturb us with this your chronicles.
DeleteTo you it is yes. Oya i follow you agree YES to marriage
"You really dont know what happened between them".... & ure ready to put head there also! Are u a moth attracted to flames? or ure just being ruled by ur feelings
DeleteYou already know you will say yes
DeleteMy problem is ,if he was ready to wife her after 4years, why is he asking to marry you later after you have both known for 14 years
Please say Yes
DeleteSometimes it happens when friends who are like brothers and sisters change the tune of friendship and get married .
Its not like that, why sending the chronicle?
DeleteIf he's serious, please and please tie your legs like a mermaid. Be a mermaid till wedding night.
Nne, you have already made your decision. The only reason why you are sending chronicle is because your conscience is judging you. Good men plenty like fish for inside ocean. Comot your eye go find fresh fish and stop making yourself become second option/backup plan. Get a grip and while at it get some sense of pride too.
DeletePoster, you're the real devil BTW them, I put it to you. You schemed your way to break them up when you realized that he wasn't gonna chop your friend and clean mouth as you've expected. Ppl waiting for doom to happen to others before swinging into action. You broke them up with the roles you played.
DeleteTell us the role you played inbtw those two for their break up to happen.
DeleteYou're just stupid and senseless. "He's really been a good man to you" "he doesn't joke with things about you, even when he was dating the girl" continue o, don't cry to this blog when he'll finish using you. Ewu Hausa
DeleteAnon 15:52, God bless you for saying it the way it is. She definitely played a role. Slut
DeleteI understand what this poster is trying to say. You all should stop with the drama.
DeletePlease accept this man. Sometimes what we need is something right in front of us. There was really no need to send this here and receive insults. Say "yes" to him.
Girl you is a dreamer!!! Lmao!!! Look at you accepting the role of backup plan/ contingency plan/"last last" position. If you know what is good for you, you better wake up and don't make a fool of yourself. Ask him why now? Afterall you have always been his friend. What does he mean by "soon". My lady you are in for a long bumpy ride if you say yes to this man. People looking on the outside and advising you are not foolish.
DeleteIf 'it's not a big deal', just 'yes or no' then why did you bring it here.
DeleteSay yes or no na and let somebody hear word. Abeg.
Dear Poster, as angry as this your mumu chronicle made me and as irritating as your response to Stella, I just couldn't help but say this. If a man wants you, it will not take him up to fourteen years to realize it.Stop deceiving yourself, you have already made up your mind to date him. Continue!
DeleteYou are still writing and defending this senseless feelings you think you have for him right? Go and tell him yes na. Leave us to think about people who are willing to listen to advise.
DeleteMy dear follow your heart. That it took him 14 years to ask u out is not an issue. All these years yes he did not see u as wife material but now that he has nko abeg say YES!
DeleteFrom what you wrote up there, it's glaring you contributed to their break up. You knew he was going to marry your friend and you thought you should be the bride instead of your friend.
DeleteGo into it and see what's waiting for you. He's not going to be rosy just the way you have pictured it because it's shows that you are ready to say yes to him no matter what we tell you here just because you have heard marriage.
Just get ready, e go do you like film
I think you guys are over judging the matter. Things like this do happen. Poster if the feeling is mutual and he is indeed serious and a good man and you love him, why shouldn't you go ahead?
DeleteI think you guys are over judging the matter. Things like this do happen. Poster if the feeling is mutual and he is indeed serious and a good man and you love him, why shouldn't you go ahead?
DeleteHow do you think your friend will feel when she find out that both of you are now in a relationship?
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything good coming out from this. The guy will just gbensh and dump you with time.
If eventually you go ahead with it, you should be ready to do a whole lot of explanations to everybody.
Exactly my point
DeleteSome girls shaa
ReplyDeleteJust be careful, if this man is truly searching for a wife, why did he date your friend for four good years without marrying her. Use your head girl, don't go into an advance friends with benefit relationship.
ReplyDeleteSo after he poured his heart out to you, what was your respond? "You need time to think about it"? He must have observed youre harbouring feelings for him, b4 he confessed to you, guys have that intuition.
ReplyDeleteMost friendship dont survive when the friendzone is crossed to the dating realm, its more like a freshwater fish crossing the Mediterranean sea. Dating him will reveal sides of him u never saw as friends, maybe good/bad sides i cant tell. You know best.
Like seriously? What was her "respond"?. Say after me now, What was her response?
Deletewhat was her response.
DeleteGood you listened.
DeleteAnonymous take time just loling at your comment.
DeleteKikikikikikikikikiki
Kikikikiki. I refer to this set of people as 'Familiar spirits' 😂 they come with the whole 'we know each other' bullshit. Before you know y'aff done 'brother brother' and y'aff open leg- fiam!
ReplyDeleteOnce they are that y'aff grow breast, they wee line up and say they've always loved you. Bla bla. Before you know, everything haff scatter. Friendship, kosi. Boo, kosi. Y'aff now hang like ripe fruit.
He may be genuine oh but MAKE sure he marries you first. Until then, make sure you love with the brotherly love of Christ because if you are of age, no right thinking man will be telling you 'in future' or 'soon'. He will just propose since he knows and loves you. And make sure he is worth all the stress Stella mentioned up there.
KPAKAM!!! oya chop kiss
DeleteCorrect babe
DeleteThis is why I don't support having good friends of opposite sex. My boyfriend has a girl to who theyve been friends since childhood. Told me of recent that the girl is catching feelings and he doesnt just see her that way. Na one eye i dey use look them. Its usually like that. Sooner or later one person will be catching feelings. Guess what, it never ends well. There is a reason why both of you were friends for a long time. If you people decide to date like someone wrote, you will see sides you never saw while being friends. Last last you guys will break up and become terrible enemies . not all friendships should lead to relationships.
ReplyDeleteHmmm! @ never ends well.
DeleteThere are times when two great friends ended up breaking up with their significant others, just to be together as they couldn't hold the feelings anymore.
Stella is on a para level and the story because you well well. Poster do what you like abeg,this like too short to dey carry person problem
ReplyDeleteStupid question. Put yourself in your friends position. Na you sabi, he will fuck you and leave you and say he can't marry someone who betrays their friend.
ReplyDeleteBefore nko? The bloke will be so shocked at her betrayal to her friend. Stop breaking friendship codes, hoes won't hear
DeleteLol. My dear pls date him so that you guys will be doing brotherly and sisterly gbenshing. After that God will then reveal his real wife to him. after all you friend has told you about how sweet he is in the oda room. Mumu don't go and receive sense. Be asking us stupid questions.
ReplyDeleteStory of my life as at 2weeks back.....but in my case I was the friend that was introduced and the two of them suddenly realised they were in love;wants to go into a relationship but didnt want to lose me as a friend lol(story for the gods).....I'm still trying to overcome the hurt and betrayal I feel but definitely no room for friendship.
ReplyDeleteDear poster,strive harrrrrrrrd not to lose both friends....
Poster, go ahead and marry him if you both love each other. After all, we have been there with him and you were the one that even introduced them. if you're okay with it, go ahead biko
ReplyDeletePoster you can give him a try, you never can tell
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, before you conclude on whether to date him or not, you have lots of questions to ask yourself.First things first, how would you feel if you were your friend when she discovers you're in a relationship with him? How come all these years, he didn't mention to you that he was in love with you? He agreed with your plan to set him up with your friend and still didn't say anything. Honestly, both of you are extremely heartless because you put your friend in the middle of the whole mess, playing with her heart and taking her love for granted. If he had gone ahead to marry your friend and you guys find yourselves alone as "friends", you would definitely sleep with him. Your friend was on her own, you decided to bring her out in the open and strip her naked...you're wicked! Put yourself in her shoes. You may think he loves you or you love him, girl you're just infatuated. He's gonna get fed up with you sooner than you think if you guys become an item so save yourself the drama and move on else you'd lose both friends. We all have enemies we don't know are enemies, don't use your hand to create more. Kill whatever feelings you have and move on.
ReplyDeleteWho has watched Burning bridges-the one that featured Ken Erics n Ivie Okujaiye. Poster, if you haven't watch it, am recommending it for you now. Go watch it and figure out the result. Goodluck to you!
ReplyDeleteHunnnnnnn. Beware! Beware!! Beware!!!
ReplyDeletePoster, if u love him and he loves u more and deep in ur heart, u know that, the both of u connects, Pls go ahead and marry him, don't mind all these girls calling him wicked, if them see ur opportunity ,they will jump into it fast. So Pls follow ur heart and be happy, I wish u luck o jare .
ReplyDeletePoster..is dat u up there as anonymous telling urself what u want to here?
DeleteWhy should it be? Must we all think alike?
DeletePosterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Flee from that guy if you want to maintain the relationship you have with your friend.
ReplyDeleteLike James would say, is his Long something drawing you like agbono soup? He will romance you and stick his Long thing and do for one hour and after that he will be done with you. Flee!!
Please don't listen to Stella!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen Stella gives a piece of advice, other pieces of advice given on the blog follow the trend of her advice; it is a psychological thing, cuz bevees hold her in high esteem.
To the issue at hand:
I understand your situation. There is nothing wrong in a guy telling you years after you became friends that he loves you; it takes some of us that long to realise( it also took you a while to profess yours, so it isn't strange or a ploy to get into your pant)
Sometimes we suppress our feelings, but it refuses to be suppressed after a while.I have had that experience before. The guy was my friend, loved me but didn't know how to tell me cuz he didn't want to lose my friendship, he told our mutual friends who told him to date my younger sister instead who would most likely say yes. He asked my sis out, she said No and he still had his eyes on me. That's history now Sha........
If you love him and he loves you and you've known him for years and he has stayed true to you, my dear ask yourself what else is the essence of marriage? It is friendship my dear and you have that already.
There is a context of every relationship, persons who are not a part of that context would NEVER understand it. Switty this is your relationship, yes!!!!!! You've nurtured and benefitted from it unknowingly, so start nurturing it consciously.
Call that your friend, and tell her this guy is asking you out, you're single and you think you love him enough to give it a try, that you need her approval.
Then tell your guy to define the relationship abegiiii,before he turns you to Queen of the rings.
That girl ZARA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poster read this comment and go to sleep!!
DeleteDon’t mind all those talking nonsense about the guy using u, if he wanted just sex he won’t wait for 14 years to get it. Follow ur heart and be happy.
I agree with you.
DeletePoster,listen to this advice o
DeleteSense making. I am wondering why they are all after the guy with a pitchfork.
DeletePoster don’t mind others and follow this advice, you only get one chance at true love in this life, it may take years but when it’s true it’s pure and real. My dear please marry him, but keep sex @ bay to be sure it’s not just infatuation. Love like this is usually awesome. I know from experience
Deleteif you follow this advice it will lead you to destruction. Don't take it.
DeleteGo ahead and date him . Marty him sef. Your friend will marry someone else. If she decides, she won't be your friend again, don't worry. Na today. If your mind us clear, go for it
ReplyDeleteThis thing is paining me for this poster cos she don't have sense. If it was the guy who hooked u up with his friend and you guys didn't work out after 4years, do you think he'll ask you to date talkless of marry after dating his friend? Borrow yourself brain o. You've been cheating with him while he was with your friend that's one thing I know. You guys have been having inappropriate conversations while he was with your friend and you've been badmouthing your friend to him. You're evil
ReplyDeleteYou did connect him with your friend right? Let ur friend be the one to connect u both this time. Abi nau. Kikikikukikukiki
ReplyDeleteDear poster like someone suggested watch the movie burning bridges. I have had a first hand experience, we were wonderful friends talked every day all day all night. I would even encourage him to date people. Then one day he flipped I've been looking too far for something close. Me too na c infatuation in the name of love but when we crossed d lines it was obvious we were not compatible at all, we were very opposite, i hated all he loved, we did not survive one month, in short it ended badly cos for the first time we argued and cursed at each other. I came down harder on him in the end trust was broken and our friendship damaged. Now self we don't talk any more i just blocked his calls. So what r my saying, some relationship are best as just friend and its difficult to transition into lovers. You could loose both friends in this case. Well what do i know there are some exceptions and urs might be one. Best of luck on your decision.
ReplyDeleteEyaaahh....
DeleteLook, if you like him just date him. Yes, as strange as it seems sometimes it takes years to realize what is right under your nose, him just coming to you to le tyou know how he feels is not strange to me. No more strange than a woman who has been in an abusive relationship for 20 or 30 yrs who finally decide to leave for good one day. Sometimes you just have to face the truth.
ReplyDeleteIf you do decide to date him please take baby steps, get to know him! Knowing someone as a friend and knowing them as a romantic partner are two very different things. If it works out it works out, if not, then so be it. Life is too short not to take a chance on the possibility of finding love, even in the strangest of places. Four years is a long enough time for your friend to get him out of her system, and I cannot see her being resentful if you end up marrying him, they did not work out for their own reasons. Now, if they slept together this would make things somewhat uncomfortable, you have to decide if you can handle knowing that, she will also have something to rub your face in. If love truly exists between you too and you can live together in harmony then I cannot see any mountains you won't be able to climb. But you must take baby steps, do not rush into anything with the confidence of knowing him long and being sure a relationship would be successful between you two. He is still a stranger in many ways, and may have habits you did not know about that you couldn't live with, so date him fully and get to know him deeply, do not jump in bed with him! Court him like you would a brand new suitor.