Mama Tee Series -Reaching Out.

It took a lot of strength for me to put this together.

In my last series I talked about having two good friends in secondary school and one of them relocated. I also said we lost contact because there was no means of communication.

Let's call her Demi.

I and Demi were very close as young girls, she was the quiet, nice and peaceful type. I wasn't quiet, I wouldn't say I was peaceful either back then but we got along quite well. We were both known and loved in both families, we were like sisters. Even my other friend was jealous of our closeness. Then, her family relocated and we lost contact. No mobile phones, just a few land phones in those days which we didn't have.

Years passed, her thoughts would cross my mind occasionally. I would be down any day I bumped on the picture we took together. I missed her but I moved on with my life. I was still friends with this other girl and we talked about her sometimes.

After over a decade, I was on a visit to my family in the city where I grew up and I saw a mutual friend. This friend told me she saw Demi's sister at a programme in another state and that Demi got married, had kids and then lost her husband. She also gave me Demi's phone number.
I was in a bad shape when I got home. 'Why did God allow her to become a widow at such a young age? She was too peaceful and kind to pass through that. Oh poor Demi!' I cried.

I got home and told my folks about Demi amidst tears. They urged me to call her when I'm fine which I did.
I can't forget how we both cried on the phone for several minutes. Hmmmm

She told me where she lived and worked in a neighbouring state and I promised to visit.

Sadly, my family and some other people I told advised that I don't go visiting her, they told me point blank to stay away from her and limit our contact to phone alone.

Some of the reasons being given were that:

1: Over ten years had passed and she may not be the Demi I knew back then anymore. people change.

2: I don't know the truth about the circumstances surrounding her husband's death.

3: Her in-laws may be at war with her and seeing me on a visit, they may think I came to fight for her and thereby start attacking me. Hian!
There are so many other reasons given to me by both my family and in-laws on why I should stay away.

Our other friend too wanted to visit her, she had made all preparations to go when her husband stopped her from going. Some of the reasons given to me were the ones he gave her too.

It's been over two years since we reconnected, I have not set my eyes on her asides her Whatsapp profile picture and it breaks my heart when I see her deep sad eyes on my phone.
I wanted to sit with her and ask her how her husband died as I couldn't ask her over the phone, I thought it wasn't proper, now I wish I did back then, I'm just curious. Should I ask? Is it too late?

I wanted to ask how life had treated her all the years we were apart, listen to her fears, pains and dreams. I don't know how to do it now. I can't even encourage her to come visit me, it's sad. I feel like I'm a terrible person. I'm confused.


Mama Tee

*Why reach out half hearted?your kind words may be all she needs to get by....if you are scared to visit her,a call whenever it is possible is also OK.