STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED
Hi Stella, keep up with the good work you are doing.God bless you. And to all bv's you guy rock your comments are all wonderful I have learned a lot. God bless you all.
Hi Stella, keep up with the good work you are doing.God bless you. And to all bv's you guy rock your comments are all wonderful I have learned a lot. God bless you all.
Reading comments about people's palavas inspired me to share mine.
I am confused about my relationship don't know what to do.
I have been dating this guy for 2yrs plus now. We are so in love that we can't do without each other. I have met all his family and he has met mine except my dad. He is still a struggling guy and I am also ,we have been planning on getting married this year.let me go straight to the point.
He played one chance and impregnated a girl which was a mistake according to him. The girl refused to abort the child and eventually delivered a baby boy.
He tried telling me about it and took it back due to my mad reaction.His mum and sister kept pressuring him to tell me but he could not cause he was scared.Anyway the sister's friend whom she confided in called me to come to her house and told me .
I was devastated, infact it was as if my world was crumbling before me.
My problem now is ,him and his family are all pleading that I should forgive him and marry him.Am still in love with him I won't deny it. He is my best friend.
Can I still marry him?am scared cause we hear stories about the child outside creating problems and so many others.am really confused now.
Pls I need matured and sincere advice...
*You dont want to marry him because of this?My Dear forget it and move on..Give love another chance!
If you still love him and he has realy realised hia mistake, remorseful then give him a second chance.
ReplyDeleteHope this ur guy is not from benin?
DeleteBiko how does one mistakenly impregnate a woman. So he was cheating behind your back, and scored while at it aka! He has been exposed and you are considering accepting him because of love and family begging
DeleteJust accept him because you want to settle!but get ready to lay in that bed you’ve laid.
Stella, did you really call it "that"??. Smh. A guy that is struggling and is yet to find his feet, cannot even stay faithful..what would he do when he is buoyant??
DeleteYou can't call such things mistakes please...he wasn't taken advantage of. It speaks volumes of the kind of husband he would be.
Give "love" a chance.. Love is not selfish..does not put himself first. That, dear poster is not love.
Ask him what he would do, if you were the one that got pregnant for another man. There you go.
You will find a good man dear. Faithful and True men still exist...it may seem hard and confusing right now, but try hard to stay true to yourself...don't complicate your life in future.
All the best.
I would have asked you to accept him if he was a rich guy. Since he is still struggling financially. Please move on with your life. To meet another struggling guy isn't difficult na rich handsome bobo hard to meet.
DeleteHe tripped and fell on her and bam 💥 belle happened.
DeleteYou wan ask our permission to marry the guy? Na wa oooooo
DeleteI would say find someone else because his family knew and didn’t tell you. Even the sisters. It was the sisters friends that told you. That one is more of a sister to you too. He had 9 months to tell you. Meaning he starting cheating a year and some into the relationship. Pls A year is to early to die there the remaining 9 months you were dating yourself. Any good mother in law would have made him tell you. So pls find someone else. Don’t listen to Stella. You know her values are not the best. Xx
DeleteAtleast u now know he won't be faithful in marriage, hopefully after he marries you, he won't impregnate another girl.
ReplyDeleteBingo
DeleteBlackberry I have to disagree with you on this.
DeleteMy sister in law and her husband have this exact same story... They're still together and waxing stronger, they somehow sorted all this out, the man caters for the outside son but their marriage is still intact, hasn't cheated on her as far as we know.
Poster if you are sure he loves you as much as you love him and you think it won't occur again, stick with your man. Y'all should come up with a solid plan how you will cater for the child from afar... Don't let the baby mama come within a thousand miles from your family.
But your sis hubby Is able to take care of the boy and his family too. Did you read the part that he is a struggling guy? It's not the same situation. This guy is bad news, he forgot to use protection too? Get yourself screened for stdsand move on! Bv chyluv
DeleteIf I'm a girl, would never accept such ridiculous excuses. What mistake? If you accept him, you're settling for second hand material.
ReplyDeleteWait for your own man to locate you and allow him to mistakenly marry the girl he impregnated.
But they said men are scarce, lol
DeleteIs this an old thing or he cheated on you to have that baby?
ReplyDeleteIf you're marrying him, then have it at the back of your mind that his slogan will be "all men cheats"
ReplyDeleteWhat an insult? Were you in a no-sex relationship?
Please I can't tell you to forgive him because you're the only one that feels the pain. But still, if you can honestly forgive him please do
*Larry was here*
My own daughter is not a problem to her dad or d wife cos she no even know him that well not to talk of visiting him,anytime i told her to please visit d dad,she will just tell me big No,so if u get mind and love him,marry him,as we dey preach here,having a child is not a disease but if u can't cope with d boy or d mum showing up,end it now
ReplyDeleteWhenever I hear girls say "we are deeply in love and we can't do without each other . . .", it is actually "we can't do without sex with each other . . .". It is lust and not love. Love is not selfish like this guy has shown, love does not hurt, seeks not his own . . .
ReplyDeleteThink deep, if you are this girl that has had a baby boy for him, will you want him to dump you and wed another lady? Won't you go to any extent to exact vengeance including hurting the girl involved?
Think, girl think
Do not throw away your senses because of the craving to get married.
Bingo.
DeleteGod bless you!
DeleteWhen you hear often "we cant do without each other" it doesn't mean love. It is lust and perverse co-dependency. Very sick minded people who feed off on each other, with twisted excuses to cover up unfaithfulness, betrayals and sabotage on each other, and yet for someone obvious weakness reasons, they are stuck together there "suffering & smiling"
Ndi ara!!!
A broke ass young boy and girl are here still confused about what being unfaithful means in a relationship and the consequences for it. As if the child born outside of wedlock is not a human being with a right whether or not to have relationship with his biological dad if they wish to.
What has they fact changed that the man who fathered such child is reckless and wicked by refusing to marry the mother of their child???
Yeah.... everyone will be caught in that turmoil of hate and resentment whether you like it or not. Especially if the mother of the child becomes ruthless in her own way to shun & delete the existence father of her child forever.
There's no such love lost between any man who fathers a child and chose of bastardize it, with the mother of the child. It is a mutual feeling no matter they use to express it.
This is the world's largest sign that says it's over in flashing lights.
ReplyDeleteHis paycheck will go to that kids child support for 24 years or more. If he decides to be in its life, it will always be a reminder you can see that he betrayed you. This girl will always be in his life. There is no way to forget or pretend he never betrayed you.
Even if you love him, this isn't love keeping you here. It's lack of self respect.
Lol mistake! I will never accept him back. Will never have such a man in my bed again. Lai lai mistake my fresh bum.
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteOne chance and mistake Kwa.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I have got to tell you is that the child and his baby mama will always and forever be in his life.
If you can stand it, then you are good to go.
Mind you, they may still continue gbenshing oohhh... and maybe, baby number 2 might come along.
Are you ready?
*my honest opinion though*.
Poster if you know he is truly sorry aND you can deal with babymama wahala go ahead.
DeleteShe refused to get an abortion? He made a mistake? Sis forgive him if you want but that child is not a mistake. What do some people expect when they have unprotected sex? A Car? You should make sure if this happened while both of you were forming love, you ensure your man is truly sincerely apologetic. He is very careless. The child was had outside but he is not an outside child. That is your mans first child. If you can not love that child as yours, allow your easy pants man the chance to find a woman who will! If he is still making mistakes with this woman and not drawing boundaries, she will always be a problem. So its up to you to forgive, learn to accommodate the woman and your soon to be step son, and then hope your man is not a constant cheat.
ReplyDeleteThat guy is not discipline atall
ReplyDeleteAnd that is he continued to be doing one chance up and down..just be ready to be forgiving him all the time..I believe in second chance but this is a life time mistake...so he can sleep with baby mama without protection but he can't marry her?
What if it was HIV that he gave u?
Seek the counsel of God concerning this. It may or may not work for you in the future. Personally,i won't marry a guy who already has a baby outside marriage because I do not have any myself. Just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteIf you marry dis guy just wait for another baby from same girl or another. let's turn the situation around if it was you will he and his family be begging you to marry their son with another man's child?
ReplyDeletemove on with your life you desire better and do not turn your back on love move on with your life take care. #2cent
Funny enough, my ex-bf got married to his ex-gf that had a son for her bf. Now they have 2 sons making it 3 boys.
DeleteYou know
Funny enough my ex-bf got married to his ex-gf that had a son for her bf. Now they have 2 sons making it 3 boys.
Poster, it's left to you to leave or not.
So..niccur is broke and still cheats? How many abnormalities do u intend to keep up with?u better use ur head in this situation and allow ur heart pump blood in peace!
ReplyDeleteI taya o. Broke cheat???? Nah!!!
DeleteWe are all humans and the flesh is weak,but the problem I have with this story is,have you spoken to the baby mama? Did she tell you also that it was a "one" off thing that got her preggos? And why don't you have an issue is your guy skin diving another babe? What happened to protection against incurable diseases like HIV and a whole lot of other STDS? Ponder on that. A word is enough for the wise...
ReplyDeleteShe don't have any business with the baby mama, this simply show that getting pregnant can not & will never keep a man, poster if you love him marry him, with the condition the child will live with your fiancee mother, where the baby mama will be allow access to visit her son in your mother in-law to be house,
DeleteAmacastel, you're a very wicked person. So the child should be taken away from his mother and she would only visit her own child? If you don't have any meaningful contribution to this Chronicle, you move the fuck on. You people sha are so dark hearted and mean.
DeleteYou must be a fool to think that it will work out this way.
DeleteHe met everyone in your family except the only person that matters; your dad who is supposed to receive the bride price from him.
ReplyDeleteAnd you said he wants to marry you? He only wants to have sex and you just saw one conquest; because she got pregnant. Even at that,
it was the pregnant girl's friend that informed you and not the guy or his family. How many more girls has he sprayed his semen into; that probably did not get pregnant or had aborted?
Just helping you to reason because it seems as if girls have brain failure when what seems like marriage is at the doorsteps. And for your information, that baby mama knows how to get acid!
It's actually a friend to the guy's sister that told her. Read it again
Delete*Larry was here*
@Starry Larry
DeleteDoesn't change any point made there; the fact that the guy did not say it himself nor did his sisters.
It's a two way thing: you can either marry him because of love or you dump him because of his "mistake". No matter the type of advice we give you, you will still do what you have in mind.. .
ReplyDeleteAfter maarriage,hhe will still play away match.
ReplyDeleteLove my foot.
If he can impregnate a girl while dating you, he will show you pepper when he eventually marries you...infact expect more children out of wedlock from him.
ReplyDeleteLEP😛
What kind of love do both of you love that he played away match without protection and she got pregnant and had a baby. If u like follow Stella's advice and marry him. He would have others too like this one. Shine ur eyes.
ReplyDeleteD nigger is broke and still has d nerve to cheat? Omo na heavy liabilty u won carry so o!hope u ready?cos u gonna be dia meal tickets!am sure he wants to marry u cos u doing financially well! If u whr a broke ass am sure he won't contemplate marriage at all!anyway it's ur choice! U lay ur bed,u lie on it!goodluck!
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm and I also believe when the girl was heavily pregnant he was still telling you I love you and still sleeping with you, with no conscience mydear I read a quote Never advice a girl in love, and love can be so stupid as well. Only you can make that decision cos nothing we say will work out.
ReplyDeleteYou boyfriend had the guts to cheat on you and without protection that a baby resulted from it and you are confused. If you been the one that had done this, both him and his family that expect you to swallow this bullshit, would have discarded you like a used sanitary pad. This affair is just the one that you know about. Borrow yourself some sense and move on. If you like marry your randy boyfriend and be prepared for him to have more like this. Also beware of the STDs and HIV that he will be exposing you to, he may not even inform you of those.
ReplyDeleteMy mom always said "person dey pick/select him suffer." So he's broke and he's also a cheat? That's two sufferings my dear pick one, you can't pick both. If you had a whole baby on him while you guys are together do you think he will accept if your family pleads with him to? He is a cheat, he prolly wanted to dump you for that other chic but along the line discovered that you had a better future or she lied about who she was to him, so now he's reconsidering you. One part of a story is not the whole truth o, you'll be surprised to hear what the said baby mom will say o, she'll prolly say they've been dating for as long as you guys have been together too. Tomorrow he will see another woman he fancies and if you're not up to the persons level in terms of education, finance e.t.c he will dump u. Open your eyes , even his family will want to confuse you with beg but open your eyes because the future is pregnant.
ReplyDeleteA thousand likes for analysis.
Deletesleeping with her without protection is a proof to validate your point. And shes still here claiming we love each other?
instead of her thanking God for exposing the broke ass CHEAT, saving her from future chronicles and drama, she's there forming "we love each other".... She obviously has self esteem issues.
DeleteThank you Aproko.
DeleteHe's broke and he cheats to the point where he has a love child while still in a relationship with you???? And you claim to love him? what exactly is there to love? Is it his cheating ass or the poverty??? I get angry when women say they love a man who isnt good for them. Is it the sex? there's great sex everywhere, you dont have to be in a relationship for that.
ReplyDeleteIm sure you have self esteem issues. You think you have to manage him cos nobody else will love you but thats a lie. Learn to love yourself so much that you wouldnt accept anything less from someone else
If you say your love for each other is very strong, why did he go and play away match? My advice I have for you is that you shouldn't into marriage with him immediately, take your time to study him and see his relationship with his baby mama to be sure if it's just that.
ReplyDeleteYou should not vouch for another’s love for you. If he indeed couldn’t do without you then how come he played away? Unsafe for that matter .
ReplyDeleteIf you are young please move forward but if you still want to go ahead with him just know the possibilities of him cheating will always be there.
This brings memories...
DeleteIt works for some and it doesn't work for others.
He had a child claimed mistake, I foolishly forgave and he cheated with some other girl . I saw the pictures he snapped of the both of them after sex and I asked him if he will continue dating me of I did this. His answer was no...this is someone who cheated on me had a child and still went on to cheat with some other girls. Relationship was 7 years and barely a year after I broke up he gets himself engaged and married to some other girl asides from the babaymama... Babymama actually stated he can marry someone else but not me stating if she looses him then he has to loose who he was dating then.
I am better of now but I wish I never wasted 7 years on him.
I find it difficult getting into a relationship now...guys are there o..no guy drought but then..it ain't easy..
I will advise you to forgive him and let him go ..
Haaa Stella its enough reason to break-up,whc kyn mistake be this?if you are able to move on from it please do and get married to him,I don't think I can ever recover from such especially when its not that u guys are married already!!
ReplyDeleteDid I hear you say he played one chance? Are you sure he wasn't dating the two of you together? A guy will never say he's still in love with his girlfriend who got pregnant for another guy. You said that you two can't do without each other, yet, he 'did' without you by "doing" another lady and got her pregnant. Shine your eyes abeg.
ReplyDeleteThis your story is paining my chest 😁😀
ReplyDeleteOk. On a more serious note... Tell me, is it the marriage talk that's tripping you or his D game? He mistakenly fell into her privates and impregnated her? Open your eyes madam! They were(are) dating!!!.
Stop stressing yourself. If he truly wants you, He knows what to do.
Talk to the baby mama that woman is going to be a large part of your life now. You will be st p mother to her kid one day if you marry him
ReplyDelete1. Check if it was a one time thing
2. Check if she is in love with him or happy to walk away
Go and visit her talk to her one on one.
Remember first child in Africa is not beans boy for that matter.
You don’t want a situation you guys will fight he will go and sleep in her house. Hian
"Once a man is in love behold a fool is born. My dear don't be that fool
ReplyDeleteWhen I was reading your chronicle you sounded like you 're defending him already..he played one chance without condom.haaaa..aunty wise up..use your tongue to count your teeth...dump his ass..his sisters and mother don't love u..perhaps they don't like the baby mama..that's why they are begging you like you are the mumu naaaa...dump him and move on
ReplyDeleteSome girls just have gosh brain, aswear
ReplyDeletegetting another girl pregnant is unforgivable. meaning that you lack respect for your partner to fuck another skin to skin. its s NO for me. pls move on
ReplyDeleteYour mans sister and mother do not like his other girlfriend. You seem easier to control and desperate. Perfect recipe for a subservient daughter/sister in law. You need to get some self esteem. You need to love yourself more, no way should a man treat you like you are cow dung. He did not make a mistake. He most likely is dating this Aunty and you are the one willing to finance him. Please wake up, love yourself enough and leave this man and his new family alone.
ReplyDelete