STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
LOVE AND BUSINESS TRIANGLE
Hello Stella and blog visitors, I am in a potentially serious situation. My ex and I started talking again after I blocked him 2 years ago after a string of petty fights that was fuelled by long distance (UK and Nigeria).
When I got back, I added him back on Facebook and he accepted immediately. The following day after we started talking I asked if he was in a relationship and he was honest with me. He's in a 7 month relationship. We got talking again and he says he still likes me.
I have 2 degrees but still no work. I only went to study, so I can't go back. I wrote a business plan and he has paid a developer 350k to start work on it and he has promised to fully fund the business. He complained about his bad phone once (I was the one who asked) so I'm sure that this was a sacrifice for him. We have never been intimate, so this whole business deal looks like I jazzed him to an outsider.
I don't think a man can give without expecting anything back. I have envisaged and envisioned ulterior motives but I'm not seeing any. Sometimes he promises to call but he won't call, so I believe this girl is still in the picture, though he's a busy professional. I have heard and read funny stories of how "no man is single, you either snatch him from someone... bla bla bla". I wonder how people do this snatching, I am tempted to do it. I have made it clear to him that I can't be with him if he's still with the other lady.
I don't want him to be a married man and still continue pursuing me. His girlfriend is from Kogi. I don't want anybody to come and jazz me. I like him but I'm emotionally mature enough to let go if I have to. Is this something I should pursue? I am 31 years old with fibroids and AS genotype so things are not looking up for us here lol.
I have seen her picture, I am finer than her. I don't look my age and I'm from a good family background. My sincere apologies if that sounded superficial but I think that detail is necessary. Most times I want to face front and concentrate on the business side of things but I still want to keep my options open. He'll send me a good night and good morning text, sometimes I won't reply and he'll continue to text or call me. He talks to me for 1 hour sometimes but for all I care he has probably done introduction with this girl.
This is also an advice to anyone just starting a relationship. You should investigate the ex and find out how they broke up! Lol. I know I sound confused and that is exactly why I am writing in. Is there anyone who can make sense of this?
What should I do?
*Couldnt deal when i got to where you said ''I have seen her picture,i am finer than her''.....It is not about beauty,if this man likes you,he likes you,its got nothing to do with the other person being not as good looking as you are....
*Couldnt deal when i got to where you said ''I have seen her picture,i am finer than her''.....It is not about beauty,if this man likes you,he likes you,its got nothing to do with the other person being not as good looking as you are....
I suggest you leave him alone to sort out himself and decide on whom he wants to be with......
Though he still likes you but it seems he has moved on, do same.
ReplyDeleteYeah, poster just move on.
DeleteBia poster. Go find your own boo. Don't let him put you on a long thing...
Deleteyou lost me at 'you are finer than her', you clearly already know what you want to do,asking advise is only hoping someone else says the same thing in your thought so you can go ahead. Quick question,if he wasn't a working professional on arrival- would you have reached out? age is making you desperate.
DeleteDear poster my ex left me for his present wife and i am finer than her.Seriously is not by outward attributes, you better face your front and go find your own bobo before cry go be your portion las las.
DeleteOga madam,abeg,face front and let the bobo enjoy his girl so as not to send another chronicle later
ReplyDeleteKeep deceiving yourself with beauty that no one knows about. Let me make you understand something, most men do not only marry someone cus of beauty or back ground, many other things come to play.
DeleteSecondly don't be too sure of any man, the way you are already forming like you can get him if you really want (aunty it will shock you that he may not be interested in you for marriage)
Thirdly let him do the chasing, he is chooses you fine, if not please waka, he hasn't even asked you to marry him and you feel you can snatch him, weldone ma
Hmm Hajia Toyosi, it is well
DeleteAunty, are you job hunting or dick hunting? You clearly do not know the one that is doing you else you'd focus first on earning a living instead of day dreaming. The distance thing that made you two break up is still there so why are you suddenly interested? Because of money? Poor man probably has no ulterior motive but here you are feeling like you're all that and plotting to make him yours.
ReplyDeleteLet a man do the talking before you'd end up chasing shadows.
Sort out your personal issues first and stop doing longer throat but I blame him for even indulging you in the first place.
She is sweet on the guy. I understand her, and his help with the buisness is confusing her further. Poster if a man wants you he will come for you. So move on. If you both are meant to be he will let you know.
DeleteDon't mind the girl with low self esteem...Smfh@i don't look my age..Who is lying to u? Work on your self esteem, and leave the guy and his gf alone
DeleteEnjoy the business plan you are working on since he is funding it and also remove your mind from him since he has a girlfriend in Kogi. Abi you want the girl to jazz you. Dont go and use your reggae to spoil someone blues.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you
Side chicks always think they are finer. Lol.
ReplyDeletehahahaha anon they are finer na.
DeleteYou're 31 and you don't have a job or business.... But you are quick to say you are a pretty and from a good home. Well guess what? Those two things dont qualify you to be a better than the kogi babe. If the babe is hardworking and has her shit together and (worst of all) is younger than you, a practical guy would take her more seriously than you that's coming with gbese. Then to add cherry on the cake, she could also be from a good home as well.
ReplyDeleteAnyhoo, I'm not up for women who don't have their own money getting married in today's world. No matter how small, have your own! I advice you to focus on the business and stop this drama. At 31 you're still playing with your life and finances? 350k isnt money that a man can't give you without demanding anything in return, please drop that mentality. How much is it in pounds? 800?? That's one designer shoe! Appreciate him and appreciate him if he does more. He is part of a success story and he must not sleep with you to be a helper. Get your priorities right biko and use your head.
See why i love you?
DeleteThis is for you Chikito 👏👏👏👏👏
Delete💋😘👍👍👍👍👍
DeletePoster, Please read this over and over and over till it sinks into your subconscious.
DeleteAbeg face front and don't spoil somebody's relationship.
I just fell in love with you Chikito.
DeleteOh wow! I see you guys like me today. ✌
DeletePoster please take this advice serious. Get your priorities right and everything else will fall into place. 💖💖
DeleteUgegbe chyko you kill it damn
DeleteYou really sound confused.
ReplyDeleteWhy are u seeing light at the end? Like u said, hes done introduction with his girlfriend, you think he'd leave her for u? He'd have done so if u mean that much to him. Hes just being nice to u.... or has he said anything more than that?
You're 31 and you don't have a job or business.... But you are quick to say you are a pretty and from a good home. Well guess what? Those two things dont qualify you to be a better than the kogi babe. If the babe is hardworking and has her shit together and (worst of all) is younger than you, a practical guy would take her more seriously than you that's coming with gbese. Then to add cherry on the cake, she could also be from a good home as well.
ReplyDeleteAnyhoo, I'm not up for women who don't have their own money getting married in today's world. No matter how small, have your own! I advice you to focus on the business and stop this drama. At 31 you're still playing with your life and finances? 350k isnt money that a man can't give you without demanding anything in return, please drop that mentality. How much is it in pounds? 800?? That's one designer shoe! Appreciate him and appreciate him if he does more. He is part of a success story and he must not sleep with you to be a helper. Get your priorities right biko and use your head.
BETTER SNATCH HIM NOW BEFORE IT WILL BE TOO LATE FOR YOU. FOR HIM TO GIVE YOU MONEY FOR BUSINESS MEANS THAT HE STILL LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE GO FOR IT GIRL
ReplyDeleteSnatch bawo? If d guy no love her again nko?
DeleteNo! It's called enticing strategy, show appreciation with the cookie and fiam there goes the love.
DeletePoster leave this man alone
See your nonsense thinking and you had to shout it well
Deletesnatch wat?
Deletethem de snatch breeze? You feel it & it dries ur sweat dont mean u can get hold of it and take it home with u.
Chei! So giving her money equals to love? Again I say Chei!
DeleteWhy am I not surprised that a human being will think like this.
DeleteSerious Nonsense thinking
Lols....he will chop and clean mouth
DeleteTHIS IS WHY YOU ARE ALWAYS HERE LIKE A HOUSEFLY BEGGING LIKE YOUR VILLAGE PEOPLE ARE BEATING DRUM ON YOUR HEAD.
DeleteSEE THE IQ OF A HUNGRY MOUSE.
STRICKEN ONE AT THAT.
@whateverinsdkblog, I’m not surprised that your mentality is wired like this.
DeleteEven with 2k they can climb you tire.
Beggi Beggi oshi.
Tueeeh
Dumbo!
DeleteBabe please move on you are just his side chick
ReplyDeleteOooohoo forget good looking or not,the heart wants what the heart wants,if the man is in love with his girlfriend I tell you,even miss world beauty can't change that,he will just sleep with you and remain in love with his heartthrob,and I'm a lady saying this,let me use myself to feed you more on this,I've been dating this very very good looking guy here in Texts for 3yrs,he's got this model look 6ft4 very clean look and his dick game is so great I thought I was happy and the relationship was heading somewhere,but I met someone else not so good looking as my guy though,I fell madly in love with the guy that I can't even tell my boyfriend I love him anymore cos I know the feeling is not the same anymore.its not about looks either be a man or woman,it's about who you are,what's inside of you,your personality,people that go after only beauty will later realise it's just lust not love,that's when you'll see a guy dating a very beautiful babe and will just dump her later.
ReplyDeleteA million likes to this comment.
DeleteAnon 15:18.
DeleteI forgot to add... Your hormonal/honeymoon phase ended with the 6ft model, & you most likely sparked up with the nezt guy u fancied, after awhile, same feeling will evaporate from this new guy.... how long will u keep changing guys like handkerchief? youre not a stable person, you should knw about the stages of love and the attributes, u dont press eject after the 2nd stage, it passes.
So in that case you're fucking two men at the same time! Abeg women too cheat, I tire! Ashawo everywhere.
DeletePlease leave someone’s boyfriend alone. You broke up with him and he’s moved on with his life. Why do you want to spoil it for them. From your write up, you still want him and don’t mind taking him back. Forget about the lecture of finding out the real reason of breakup. Move on and leave them alone. If you’re more “beautiful “ as you stated then it’s won’t be hard for you to get a man???
ReplyDeleteAnother reasonable comment again.
DeleteWell, you're doing the right thing. Just see where it goes . Sounds like he has unfinished business with you. He's not married and he hasn't promised the girl marriage so he can still choose another. Keep your options open with him and others.
ReplyDeleteperson wey don do intro already
Deletetrain your mind to face only the business aspect biko. let him be. he would have chosen you if he loved you.
ReplyDeletemore importantly, she should train her punani to respect itself.
Deleteyou sound like an insecure girl. pls focus on substance rather than forming "i'm finer than her"
ReplyDeleteIt is only a dog that goes back to its vomit. You blocked him for two years and came back to him and he sincerely told you he is in a relationship but you still go ahead, are you okay? How desperate can you be? Dear pls I will beg that you walk away now with all sanity now you can before you get emotional derain. There is something worse than being single and this are one of those situations you are trying to put yourself into. There are still good and available men out there that will fall for you but first kill off your pride and ego, it stinks.
ReplyDeleteKnow how to use that phrase "Its only a dog that goes back to its vomit".... Ppl break up and make up all the time, time apart sometimes heals, reveals and teaches alot, & a giving a union a 2nd shot might be the best option, depending on circumstances & the individuals involved... So when it comes to matters of the heart, its a tricky slippery slope, that quote dsnt stand firm.
DeleteYou should understand the context in which that phrase was writen. Quite understandable people make up after break up but not in a make up that endanger your happiness. So you get it now?
Delete...well, if its clear that it'd endanger their happiness, there'd be no need even contemplating going back to an ex, thats why i mentioned "depending on the circumstance".. that line shouldnt be used for every breakup, in this posters case, if the guy is willing to rekindle the 2yr gap flame, thrs nothing wrong it that, it wsnt a blatantly disastrous breakup! So u get it now?????
DeleteSee person ,, my dear it's never about fine face, in fact it is not about anything but what the guy wants in his heart, so shift one side on that issue first.
ReplyDeleteNow about your business plan, hope there is adequate paperwork to protect your self and your business idea. I'm sure you know where I'm heading to cos I don't have energy to type epistle.
But just in case the guy is just a nice guy trying to help out an old friend, please keep off his relationship!! Don't throw yourself at him, cos you will just end up in a mangled heap at the feet of his babe dancing into the reception venue on their wedding day. Poor girl may not even know about your existence and you are here accusing her of sorcery on international blog.
The reason you guys broke up is none of her business. Stay out of her business. If he wants you he should come for you, but don't hold your breath girl.
You sound like a foolish looser who is too much binded in your own delusional thoughts that you can't see that there is no future for you and the man. He may have moved on...
ReplyDeleteMove on too with your life. Real love is not considering yourself as being finer or more educated than the other woman. Unfortunately the luckiest married women today in love does not possess 2 degrees, nor phd holders, nor Miss Universe or Miss world beauty queens. They are the girls and women who found mutual love with a man who is also well rounded (highly successful, eligible) and in tune with that woman.
So don't mock or scorn another woman thinking that it will make you feel better with your very pathetic & miserable life now.
I will advice you to focus on yourself, learn a trade skills or how to make money regardless of your educational level since you can't find a job. Look for a suitable man (considering your AS status) who is in tune with you emotionally, spiritually, financially and all round good for you in terms of your most needs.
DO NOT COMPETE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN HERE!!!
OTHERWISE YOU COULD BE WOEFULLY HURT IN THE END EVEN IF YOU END UP SUCCESSFULLY.
Good luck!
Thank you Anon 15:50. Poster, listen attentively!
DeleteGod bless you anon 15:50!!! Poster, here's all the advice you need☝☝☝
Delete💖👏💖
DeleteSince you're beautiful and from a good home, getting a man should be easy for you. Why bother with this guy? Abi?
ReplyDeleteSee me see trouble oooh 🤷🏽♀️
DeleteSelf exaltation. You have seen her picture and you're finer. Oya, clap for your self. You're so qualified yet no job or business. The man has compensated you so you can disappear yet you don't want. The wedding IV will reset your brain
ReplyDeleteLolzzz
DeletePoster, you guys were in a relationship for two years before breaking up. Do you know why the guy accepted your request as soon as you sent it?? He has unfinished business with you. Yep!! Unfinished business. He has to taste that pekus. From the way things are going, he knows he has you where he wants you with all that good morning and goodnight texts. He will make his move soon and due to the fact that you are emotionally drawn to him now, you will not be able to resist him. He will chop and go marry his Kogi babe.
ReplyDeleteDo you see how good Beyoncé looks?? Her hubby still cheated on her. I bet you Beyoncé is finer than the girl he cheated on her with.
Leave that Man alone. He became your ex for a reason. If you can’t let him go since your destiny is tied to his, have a talk with him. Tell him how you feel. Watch his reaction and body language while you talk.
I wish you good luck!!
Correct
DeleteKonji dey hold this poster bad, this guy would drill u very well n still be with his girl...ur beauty no fit get u anothet man? Lol
ReplyDeleteLemme read and learn 🤔 nothing to say but know it's not about looks
ReplyDeleteFocus on the business. Many of us are jobless with no business plan and no capital, you have both. Forget fibroid I had them at 27, every woman eventually gets them, surgically remove it if it's disturbing you. AS genotype, lucky enough you don't get malaria often. Better collect enough money for your business and set yourself up before wifey influences him otherwise.
ReplyDeleteA man knows who he wants, he would choose you if he wanted you.
Gbam!!
Delete*not every woman gets fibrod please.
💖👏💖
DeleteNot every woman get fibroid!!!! Where are you getting this wrong information?!?!! Poster don't listen to this fibroid statmstat abeg.
DeleteStatement*
DeleteDear poster, I think the man is not interested in you. That is why he told you about his relationship. Let go of your emotions and focus more on the business.
ReplyDeleteThough you don't look your age, start acting your age. Grown women should leave being superficial to teenagers. I see you getting hurt all by yourself. Let business be business. You just might find that you don't like this guy the way you think you do.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHoney you are 31! Let that sink in for two minutes. Do better. Focus on getting your adult self stabilized and stop plotting like a teenager. Women are not man crazy any longer? Do not be so naive to think you are better. That decision is for the man and if he has not broken things off with his woman, you have now sunk from ex to side piece. Men can help because they want to, stop showing your thirst. If this woman gets wind of your excess desperation, your source will be cut off. Collect the help and respect your age bikonu
ReplyDelete💖👏💖
DeleteThese UK boys. Omore forget that guy jare. Uk ladies go Don born for am. I wonder if my guy won't leave me when he get to US
ReplyDeleteSome of us sound like going abroad is such a Herculean task. It's 2018!! 😆😆 You can find out by visiting.
DeleteDos yhas I even read the story? It’s the girl that went abroad
DeleteYou think is by beauty, certificate, degrees? Nne pack well joor man knows what he is looking for. Just enjoy the business and hope for good, remove your mind from that guy, focus on your life, polish yourself more.
ReplyDelete