STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DOUBLE WAHALA
Dear Stella,
I was TTC for a long time and my inability to conceive even led to the crash of one marriage and another that almost ended in Marriage.....Being TTC is the worst thing that can happen to any woman..that feeling cannot be described with words..you feel lost and cursed..
Now I am pregnant with twins but there is a problem...a big problem!!!
Whilst i was TTC and after being disgraced out of my Marriage and the relationship that almost led to marriage,i decided to paint town red and sleep with any man to find out if i was really a woman.
I did it discreetly but became so serial that sometimes in a week,i had slept with more than 5men...I never used them for too long and moved on..With some i used protection and with some i did not.
I work in a company that affords me meeting expatriates and i managed to catch about three of them to sleep with.......
The problem?
I am four month pregnant and just found out I am having twins and I do not know who the Father of these children are....I cannot even confront anyone cos i cannot remember them all and it would be really stupid of me to start making multiple calls.
I am so confused..so so confused!..Do i abort these babies and try again with one man knowing i dont have any problem or risk having these babies and not knowing what to tell them when they start asking of their father or even his family?If they grow up and i tell them their father is late,what bout his family?
My blood pressure is so high from thinking...
Please i need advice,i am in my early 40's and financially able to carry this through.
*Hmmmm wow,this is serious but please keep those kids,when they are old enough,tell them you had a crazy night and they were conceived and you dont know where their father is....you will have two kids who will bring you JOY...take them out and that may be all....
In your early 40's and you are still considering taking out a pregnancy?I feel like bitch slapping you woman!!!
Tell them their father died or he ran away to uzbekistan, if they demand for a name, give them a random foreign name. Or he was a soldier n MIA.
ReplyDeleteDont even contemplate abortion!
DeleteBut NEVER tell them u had a crazy night out, that'd scare them for life & alter their moral compass, i mean if im on earth by accident or a result of one mistake in the public bathroom, whats holding me from living life on the fast lane, even my mum cant put a hold on me, shes been there!
If they turn out to be mixed race, the better for you, cus their expatriate dad died in a plane crash, same month he was on gis way back to Asia to inform them of ur pregnancy, following the marriage rights... & the family refused to acknowlege ur kids, well, take it from there.... make sure u have serious backup & witnesses 4 ur story to click n check out, save pics and newspapers of a random crash back dating to their date birth also
.... be prepared cus these iGen kids are super smart, fill all loopholes poster!
Lastly, i must say ure on Olosho sha.
I don't know if this suggestion sound reasonable...keep the pregnancy and tell them you were raped by unknown men.
DeleteNah wah! I am shocked that Nigerians are one of the most religious people on earth and they will proceed to give people double advice. Madam or Aunty, please like they have said do not abort those children. They are a blessing.
DeleteWhere I disagree with everyone is that you lie or make up a story about their biological father. now it is time to face the consequences of your actions. Since you already narrowed down to 4 men. Give birth to the children and start one by one looking for these men and begging for a DNA test. Since they are foreigners be honest there is a possibility of someone else, but look for their fathers please and close that chapter while they are babies before they grow up. You are financially capable of raising them alone, ensure you let them know you don’t need anything from them except trying to right your wrongs by finding the father of your children. May God help you and smile on you
Tell them he died nau or returned back to his country, he was a colleague,a contract staff who you had a relationship with(not one-night stand,keep that to yourself). He returned with the intention of keeping intouch but he never did. The number you had and emails kept bouncing back. You were sad but had to move on. Finito
DeleteI know a lady in her 40s that no one knows the paternity of the daughter, we just know he must be white bcos the child is mixed race. She has kept mute on the paternity, even to her family. But no one cares, everybody is just happy she has a beautiful daughter that is the light of her life.
Keep your kids, afterall you can afford to.
Who has been to living fountain orphanage in Oniru vi, 2 years ago that I visited, there was this beautiful set of twin girls,mixed race. I just kept wondering who could have abandoned those beautiful girls and they were about 2yrs old. The orphanage said they had not been adopted because they insist the two must be adopted together.
Poster don't even think of giving up your kids for adoption, you will regret it forever.
keep your kids, doesn't stop you from still getting married.
Abortion at 40's is a No No, keep it. Life goes on. D kids will be fine.
Deletegood morning poster. please dont be fooled into thinking you cant make multiple calls. Do you really want to know the father of these kids? then stand up and take control of your life! God has blessed you do not abort.
Delete1. Make a list of all the guys u slept with, the date plus circumstance eg condom or not. bar or house.
2. correlate your cycle to those dates, that will narrow them down.
3. Find their details: check text, watsapp,emails, business cards anything you have.
4. Attempt to contact all, check that all of them are still accessible try and get their office or home address - for example make sure the expatriates have not gone back home etc. JUST ATTEMPT DONT CONTACT YET.
5. determine their current situation - who is married etc that will inform you on how to break the news.
6. sit down and wait till babies are born. - any mixed race baby will narrow them down.
7. get babies DNA and contact all the men 1 by 1 tell them it might be their baby but there is one other person. get DNA test done.
I ain't beating about something you already did.
ReplyDeleteLet's focus on the future.
1.)Keep those babies.
2.)Be ready for a lot of gossip, I hope you have a thick skin, if not, start growing one NOW.
3.)The only people you owe a true explanation are those kids, when they are old enough, tell them.
Who knows? They might come out looking like one of dem men that you will be able to know which it is.
You could even do a calculation around the month to zero down the list...
Congrats Poster. Just carry your twins. You proved you are not the cause of your ttcing. Since you are capable, enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteWhen your children ask who the dad is, then you will tell them na accident the thing take happen. Ha na wa.
It is well with you. I would have advised you do DNA but whwere you go see those oyibos who give you belle. Does it mean, you no get diary?
DNA for what?
Deletewho go follow an olosho go hospital?
shes lucky shes not wit HIV
I don't get, so you were free styling with all these men without protection? I don't think the worse thing that can happen to someone having unprotected sex is pregnancy but diseases.
ReplyDeleteYou're 40, you have passed through so much to be blessed with the fruit of the womb. It's simply silly to think of aborting when people are in your shoes begging for just one. Worse, have the babies and put them up for adoption or what's your problem exactly? You are an adult and should have known better. Have the babies because you apparently aren't broke and can raise them alone or give them out to people who would value the babies. Don't piss me off biko, mama mmadu like you acting like a secondary school girl. Kids would ask questions but even adopted kids get an answer that takes them through the days they miss having the other parent. When you get to that bridge you'd cross it but for now have the babies.
Miss goody two shoes...we know your type...
DeleteIn as much as u don't know the father, please keep the kids,in ur 40s u say? Since u are capable of financing everything, abeg keep them, my former boss was d randy type as well before she bacame born again,she had a fling with a foreigner in d 80s and gave birth to a white lady,for good 23years she doesn't know who her of her was,d mother later died and she was opportuned to travel to d country where d man came from,to cut it short, she finally met her dad 2years after d mother died,dunno how oyinbo do am but she has relocated since 2016
ReplyDeleteThis poster must have at a point used the cliche frustrated women employ here "all men are dogs". Madam you are a dog. Not a Rot or Alsatian. You're a bingo. The type of pigs available for us to pick a wife from discourage many of us from such venture. I trust no woman. Will never trust any. Imagine the dirty story I just read! And her fellow pigs are giving her nice pieces of advice. If a man had sent this, you all hags would have descended on him with your shallow minds.
DeleteYou made a mistake and want to correct that mistake with another mistake? How do you even think you will feel after aborting those kids? How do you know for sure that when you abort them, you will get pregnant again? You want to abort twins? As in twins? At your age? Early 40s? Keep that pregnancy. When they come of age, tell them you honestly do not know who their father is and narrate your story to them. Leave the sleeping with plenty men out of the story. Just say you slept with a few. When the kids come, they might even have a striking resemblance to someone you know you slept with
ReplyDeleteplenty men and "a few".. wats the diff? Its so shameful
DeleteMadam pls keep the pregnancy. Remove the thought of abort from ur mind and start preparing on how to give them a beautiful future.
ReplyDeleteEven though the circumstances of their conception is not so good you must keep them
I so wish I can see u look on ur ex when he finds out you are pregnant
Madam at early forty believe me those children are your miracle from God. Keep them safe.
ReplyDeleteOnce they start asking question just tell them you got them through sperm bank..cefini..case close. Sorry about what you went through in your ttc days. May God comfort all TTC women all this blog and bless then with multiple conception just like yours.
Miracle from God?
DeleteSo God rewards wayward lifestyle of promiscuity with a miracle? well, thats good to know sha! Kids are always nothing short of a miracle sha, but i dont know about this one!
Did you just say miracle??? I am not surprised it came from you.
DeleteYes kids are miracles irrespective of the circumstances surrounding their conception/birth. Remember King David?
DeleteThank anon 18:31 That terrible record of adultery produced king solomon. The wisest recorded king of Israel.
DeleteChildren are a blessing. It doesn't matter the mistake that happened before they were born. Don't condemn a child just because.... They are a blessing and God has a purpose for their lives.
DON'T ABORT! Keep the babies and when they are old enough open up on your TTC struggle and how it drove you 'nuts'. You can tell them he didn't take responsibility or something... lol. I'm happy for you. Now that you have children you will not be as careless as you previously were. Good luck!
Bring them let me carry abeg.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletemumu
DeleteAre u for real! Why bring d Holy Spirit into this? Advice her and move on abeg. You people just call God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit anyhow. No respect at all. Why u no advise her to say na Prophet Muhammed impregnate her for dream? Fear no go gree u talk dat one. Na Holy Spirit be ur mate abi?
DeleteWhat do you mean @paul okah she was impregnated by the holy spirit. Pls don't say blasphemous words,don't bring a curse on yourself
DeleteMadam poster,keep the babies and pray to God for mercy and also you need a miracle to show you who the father is ,if you really want to know
Paul Okah never you in your entire damn life blaspheme against the holy spirit bcos there is no forgiveness to that. Read your bible and confirm that. It is sacrilegious to speak against the holy spirit. You no dey hear the name? 'Holy Spirit'
DeleteU have bot market from bitter people 😂😂😂😂
DeleteOkay, noted. Comment against Holy Spirit delete and wrath diverted to the perfect saints here,lol!
DeleteSay no to abortion. Keep the pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations for being pregnant
ReplyDeleteBut shame that you ever thought about killing those twins!
When a woman has illicit sex, her problem starts after the sex; pregnant or not, who the man is, wanting to "own" the man, marriage thoughts, depression/anxiety if she is not able to claim ownership of him etc.?
For the man, sex ends his problem of wanting to have sex; sex for him ends with ejaculation; no qualms, no strings and he looks for another foolish woman that will open legs when he is hungry for sex.
Now lady, you made a reckless mistake by "playing the field" but you can't afford to make another mistake to cover the old one; it will never suffice.
Ladies go to sperm banks to get pregnant . . . now you can confirm that getting pregnant is never a solution to your problems.
Solution?
Knowing and loving God is the solution to your problem of prodigality. God loves you even in this state. He wishes to help you overcome every negative feeling you have presently for he says that "in all things, he works for the good of they that love him . . ." (google it pls. and read more). Making Jesus the Lord of your life will give your life a direction and meaning.
If you abort those kids, the guilt of conscience will not only shoot up your BP but can kill you!
ReplyDeleteWriting from counseling experiences.
I work in a hospital and the most cases of "septic abortions" (abortions that get infected etc.) that we see is usually during the first quarter of the year; a fallout of vaginal pounding during Christmas and valentine. Chai, come and see beautiful dead girls, lost wombs, bedridden ones and so on. What pains me most is that these girls will continue denying that they had abortion as if the doctor is a magistrate that will sentence them to death. One denied aborting till she breathed her last only for the nurses that were to prepare her body for the morgue to pull out a mangled baby's remains from her vagina.
ReplyDeleteAnd these boys just continue to prowl on the next victims -any vagina that opens! Girls, there is no "rest in peace" if you did not let babies find peace in your womb when the "mistake" of premarital sex was made. If this is your case and you survived it; repent, we all make mistakes.
The guilty ones who do not want to repent are those that will come under my post to rant. Having said it, they will perhaps hide under anonymous and talk about how "nothing happened"! It takes just one day for the thief and murderers to be caught!
welcome
DeleteStella biko pls stop posting this write up. First na lie. Abortion cases does not increase first quarter of any year secondly she / he is too judgmental.
DeleteSame old thrash
DeleteThis same story again
DeleteAll of una don read am, abegi allow us wey never read am digest the thing. Im dey relevant to the discussion.
DeleteAbegi scroll past.
As in all these anonymous have committed abortions?
DeletePlease do not abort those kids, just pray that the kids look like their father so as to at least know who to refer them to as their father when they grow up. I know this isn't easy at all but don't forget you've been eager to have your own kids for so long and this is it happening. In other news, I'm happy for you but please next time sex responsibly.
ReplyDeleteSince you are financial capable of taking care of them, why not have them then. God has finally blessed you with two for that matter and you are considering aborting them because you do not know their biological father. When they grow up tell them the truth I bet you they will understand.
ReplyDeleteI can see you have a double barrel ready to murder those kids and probably murder yourself too. I lost a very dear patient to abortion and I am yet to recover from the shock of remembering her lifeless body on the couch. She was brought to the Teaching Hospital A&E after having abortion in a private clinic. She practically bled to death because the fetus (unborn baby) still had her parts in her and was causing the bleeding.
ReplyDeleteIf you are worried about who to tell them the father is, how about those that go to sperm bank to conceive? That of course was an option you could have taken. But now, please go and do full STI tests to make sure that you and these babies are safe.
Riding and "chopping" raw strange penises was most reckless of you.
True sperm bank is another excuse. Afterall the men were sperm banks. Lol
DeleteTell them you went to the sperm bank. End of story.
ReplyDeleteChop kiss!
DeleteLies
ReplyDeleteJust assume & convince yourself that you went to a sperm bank & it doesn't matter who the father is. We understand. Keep your head up. Life goes on...
ReplyDeleteWhile I'm happy that God smiled on you, I'd tell you the truth, you have uncontrollable sexual appetite.
ReplyDeleteWhile TTC, what were your findings? Did the doctors tell you your case is so hopeless that you threw caution to the wind?
You mustn't abort. The kids will look like their dad, (but if 2 different sperm cells fertilize 2 different eggs, you are in for Gulder Ultimate search) but seems u are too loose to remember those you laid.
If na one of those expatriate, lucky you. You will have less to explain.
May God guide you thru. Don't abort. Joy comes with pain sometimes.
Please do not bring God into sexual immorality of the most banal order.
DeleteShe exercised her freedom as a woman to sleep around and is facing the consequences.
She should live up to the responsibility of what she started.
Killing the children is when she will dare God for only he has the right to take a life.
First of you are a fool for this statement "i decided to paint the town red and started sleeping around to find out if I was really a woman." That is the statement uneducated nitwits make and if you actually think like this then you are the type to think women who don't have children are "men" or barren without even knowing if they want to have children or not.Idiot! I have no advise for imbecilic women who think what defines their womanhood is using their uterus to breed. I really shouldn't have read this chronicle. Nigerians have a long way to go with their idiotic and daft mode of thinking. Like can you imagine to see if I was really a woman. No! You are a breed of old world monkeys cum gorillas.
ReplyDeleteAunty Agnostic, God bless you for your comment! I thought nobody could spot the real issue here. I can only imagine the training she will give her children with this type of thinking at over 40 years old!
DeleteAunty Agnostic, exactly what are u angry about?!... you made no meaningful contribution even though no one forced you to comment, you only came to insult the poster.
DeleteMay whatever u believe in having mercy on your soul and allow you some Joy.
Aunty Agnostic you don't have sense oh. Advise her without the insult. Haba na by force to advise person. Useless goat. Na your type dey fuck anything. You come sdk come dey form holy. Hypocrite.
DeleteHian ooo, no be she cause your problem ooo
DeleteWho be this one? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteMadam, God has finally answered your prayers and you are still thinking of termination. Shey stella wan bitch slap you, me na wooze i wan wooze you make you brain for reset.na joke o.
ReplyDeleteI know so many aunties both blood aunties and street aunties most above 50 now that do not have a child and here you are with twins, so maam keep the pregnancy and enjoy this second chance.
And you mean "the god of this world" who instigates sexual immorality and abortions?
DeleteSurely you are not talking of Jesus; are you?
Pls keep the babies. When the time comes, u will find a way around it.
ReplyDeleteStella, thats a ridiculous advice!!
ReplyDeletecrazy night out???
Don't tell lies to them because one way or the other they will definitely get to find out. Keep your babies and enjoy motherhood.
ReplyDeleteTwins- loves them load.. Thank God you conceived although not in the right way. Please keep those cuties. By the time you deliver your twins you will definitely trace their father or the man will locate you one way or the other. Please, keep them. Safe delivery
ReplyDeletePoster...just know that abortion is not an option. Please give birth to those kids already. They are not the cause of your recklessness. And like someone said up there🖕, be ready for a lot of gossip. People will gossip about you (that is the price you have to pay for running ahead of God). Be good.
ReplyDeleteGagaga my personal person, lol.... -T
DeleteAnon 17:17, I see you my PP, how you dey?
DeleteThis is a serious one!
ReplyDeleteMadam, please keep those precious gifts you've got. OK?.
If you were to be all those small small girls that does piom piom piom, I would have advised you to abort, but, you see, you need them.
You have the money to take coffee them so you have got not much problem.
When they eventually grow up and start demanding for their dad, just tell them you two were just lovers for a short while, you haven't known any member of his family or friends and he only have you his name as ***** without a surname. Then all of a sudden you couldn't get in contact with him again even before you knew you were pregnant.
Tell them every of your effort to reach him were futile.
You will be fine.
Don't even touch those beautiful babies...
ReplyDeleteU already know that TTC is not a joke,don't use one mistake to correct another.
You wanted pregnancy you have gotten it now you don’t want it again you are a cinfusionist and confused human being you were not afraid of aids or diseases you don’t know if the family of the man who own the pregnancy are all criminals or mad no nothing I fear who no fear you ma
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteKeep those babies. Don't abort.
ReplyDeleteBut don't be such a cheap axe
If you really wanted to know if you are a woman like you said why didn't you go to hospital to do check up. Instead of putting yourself in this situation.keep the babies don't abort!!God will take control
ReplyDeleteMadam you are 40 not 18 God loves you enough to shut the mouth of your enemies, e bi like say those counting calendar days no pain you . Sister ROCK your pregnancy, snap photo full FB tush those KIDS up when they arrive as per their father ? You will answer is when the time comes we weh get the papa how far
ReplyDeleteHave ur kids. When people ask for now, just say you're not talking about it. Once the kids come, use your detective eye to see which one they look like. Meetup up with him discretely and ask if he doesn't mind test. Men like babies more than wen know sometimes. The owner may be very happy. He may even narry you see. You never know
ReplyDeleteDon't ever think of aborting those precious gifts!
ReplyDeleteYou don't want to have that evacuation that's why you're to see if you can be talked out of it. Well, here's my own contribution to the already growing chorus, "Please, know that abortion is not an option". At 40 with no husband and a long history of fertility issues? Madam, it is a no-brainer. Collect your children as consolation abeg. I am fully persuaded you will regret terminating the pregnancy. I say this as a man who strongly detests promiscuous women, but we have to be realistic here. Children are not something you can just order online.
ReplyDeleteI would shame on you, but I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. Congratulations in advance.
Seeing your story, I honestly feel like playing outside to know if I will take in as hubby is my first n only man I have had sex with. In my early 30s already. 2failed iui. Told to do ivf. No cash for that. So fed up. I want to pack out. Presence of his family in the house put more pressure and stress. Hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteMadam, keep those babies less u live a life of regret.
You shall write a new chapter and tell a new story. Your womb shall be opened up and you shall bear your own healthy and loving fruit of your own vine. I declare victory and abundance in your life and your name shall be honour and glory.
DeleteFirst off, you owe no one an explanation, you are a grown woman and you are financially capable to raise the kids on your own. Now stop beating yourself about your wild period, we all deal with issues differently. Focus on your health as you are not very young. Secondly, I am a 38year old woman, happily married with 3kids....i do not know my father, never met him, never will. My mum simply told me she did not know his whereabouts and I did not kill her for it. Your kids will be fine, raise them well, they are all you've got. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteI sincerely find this chronicle hard to believe...sounds like a movie script. May God forgive, guide and grant you wisdom poster if this is really true.
ReplyDeleteTell the kids and everyone that ask na sperm bank. Case closed!
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I totally understand your situation. I may never have been in the same situation, but I understand the urge to prove a point, to prove a point so bad that you go all the way. Rejection can make a person do anything to gain acceptance. But, this can only happen when you don't know the Almighty God. His acceptance and validation is the only one that matters. However, the mistake has already been made, DO NOT ABORT NOR GIVE THOSE KIDS UP FOR ADOPTION, NO MATTER WHAT. Turn your life around,put your trust in God,let Him into your life,so He can take control, and I promise you poster,the father of those kids will walk into your lives someday,I PROMISE YOU. It may not be soon, but, Focus on GOD,GOD and GOD,and watch things fall into place,I promise you. Turn your life around, this situation is a warning,DO NOT DISREGARD IT. TURN BACK AND RECONNECT WITH YOUR CREATOR.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations,and may God be with you.
Contemplating abortion makes you a stupid person. I'm sorry o cos u no be my mate but how can you even think of aborting twins? Are you okay at all? Even if it was rape, you that was TTC got twins and you're here sending chronicles and asking if you can abort. You jammed correct sperm and you want to waste the man's effort, even at 4 months. You no get conscience o and u no get appreciative spirit.
ReplyDeleteBirth your kids joor and continue to praise God for vindicating you that you are not barren after all.
Even those that are always advicing people to pray are the one asking her to
ReplyDeletelie,there papa has die,,,what a wicked heart,,,children are now suffering for
the sins of there mother?evil in higher places,,
some time some woman dont get pregnant after there marriage becos another man
collected her bride price,not her real father,look for those men and ask them
that you has make alots of mistakes in the past you wanted to correct,a real
man will fellow you to a hospital or to his own doctor,,asured them that you will
never ask for a child support from them,you can even put it into writing with them,
So you don't want people to see your belle and know you are not barren? Pregnancy happens when you take off your mind from it, please keep those beautiful souls should knows if that will be all the kids you will have. Thank God you can take care of them, don't worry you will smile someday.
ReplyDeleteWoman, have your children, this may be the last chance you get to have kids, bout abortion at 4 months pregnant. Get real! Don't you have a name of your own? Just give them your own family name and be done with it.
ReplyDeleteI do not judge your actions because I understand doing reckless things especially when you were humiliated so terribly. Just prepare for motherhood and enjoy the ride. You received a double blessing so give God the glory for taking away your shame and live for your children. Eat well, exercise and keep yourself prayerful and positive. When they are older let them know you used donor sperm and do not know who their father is. Get your father, brother, cousin or close male friend who you trust to be a masculine influence in their lives until you get a husband of your own, and if you never remarry that is alright too. You have had an unconventional life and that is completely okay. Be joyful and received the gift of new life that you have been blessed with.
madam still think deeply, the ones you slept with after your last period. definitely yo have their numbers. tell them that you are pregnant, all of them. when you give birth do a DNA for the kids to ascertain their paternity but plssssssssssssssssss do not abort for any reason. at 40+ no way pls. i am 37 and not married neither do i have kids. any belle now na to born am, papa or no papa
ReplyDelete