Saturday Laughs

Time for the usual laughter session....

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Please Mind how u save numbers. I wanted to change the chairs in my sitting room so i went to bedmate furniture . A lady took me round to see what was available . I saw some nice chairs so I then told the lady who is a staff that I will come back . I decided to take her number for follow up . I them saved her number as Joy bedmate. At home the phone rang and madam picked the phone . I don't  know how I got to the place I am now with drips on my hand. I was not given sufficient time To explain that she works at  bedmate furniture
#copied😀😀😀




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Five things baffles  me a lot. 
1. NEPA Office using a generator.
2. The Chairman of Okada Union driving an SUV.
3. The Chief Executive of Tecno using an Iphone.
4. The CEO of Innoson driving a Range Rover.
5. The Nigeria Police using a chain on their generator to prevent theft.
. 😜😝😅🤣😜😜🤣🤣




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See Strategy!

A man returns home from a long tiring day at work. He goes to his room looking blank. Reaches out to his bag and gives his wife 2 tablets of paracetamol. His wife is dazed and asks what it's for. He responds that it's for her headache. The woman still shocked replies with speed, "but I don't have head ache". The husband suddenly lights up - "You have said it, thank God, no excuse tonight". Lol.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Lesson: Be Proactive.
🏃🏾🏃🏾🏃🏾🏃🏾




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 I just heard that because of ​VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS​, some girls are even apologizing for what they Didn't do wrong.
They Be Like ​''sweety,I'm Sorry For What Watford  did to Chelsea 
😂😂😂😂😂



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The way female bankers explain account opening is so sexy.....
They will be like.....
I will open it for you so you can put something inside okay
Whether big or small just put something.😂😂😂😂😂



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Please if you are a stammerer. 

I take God name beg you. Don’t  tell any Nigerian woman that her Toe is big. 



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People de craze oooo😄😄😄

During s3x some ladies be like; “pls baby don't cum
inside!"
They think it's easy to jump out from a running vehicle.😃😃



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God has decided to take over some activities of 2018

 *14/2/2018* (Valentine's Day) is Ash Wednesday

*1/4/2018* (April Fool Day) is EASTER SUNDAY
It is the year of the Lord
   Hope am the first to tell u this.




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The keke I entered today wanted to overtake a trailer. The trailer blocked him, the next thing the keke man started warning the trailer driver "I WILL JAM YOU O!!! That was when I alighted without reaching my destination. You want to jam him with what? You see weed! Fear weed!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭




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A guy brought out water to wash his keke , then saw his ex-fiance coming from afar , then he shifted the water to the nearest Lexus Jeep there ,and started washing the tyre ,the ex came close saw him ,laughed and snapped him with her mobile phone and then pressed the car remote she's holding and  the Jeep door opened, she got in and  drove off. The guy didn't die that time...😩😩 
until she went to Facebook to post the pic and wrote: 
God always bring my enemies to wash my feet!

The Guy is still looking for where to Faint




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I was just minding my business when I
saw this status update on Facebook..
"To hair is to human,
to forgive is design"
I was like "hair ko, attachment ni"
so I became curious and decided to
go down to view her timeline..
No be small matter oo...
Come see
more
updates...
**"I hate guys with
low selves of steam"
**"I am a blessing to my generator "
**" I'm a soccer to guys with six pack"
**" My BB charger is no longer
walking "
**" Anybody who supports killing is a
carnival"
**"Love is in the hair.. Valentine tins
rolling "
**" on my way to school, please play
for me"
**" Finally I've been admitted in to
the univasity of sense and
technology...



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 Lol.. Someone said Liverpool bought Danny Shittu in white colour for £75m. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂



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That awkward moment when the 5 star Hotel attendant tells you a bottle of coke is N1,500.00...

You'll start explaining and describing coke like "I mean coke... Not the alcoholic one, the mineral type, I don’t mean cocaine or codeine ... I mean the normal coke that looks like Pepsi... The one Coca-Cola produces, the one when you open & it makes shuuuu....."??????"

🙄😂😄😁🤣😜😘




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My friend says: 

"I don't understand women!
Over the weekend my wife insisted that spending time playing games with her was far much better than watching football, Basketball, Soccer and hanging out with the guys. I begrudgingly succumbed to her wishes. 

Game : she said let's make a list of 5 people that we each could date if  allowed by either one of us to date  and given an opportunity.

She picked :
1.Brad Pitt, 
2.Tom Cruise 
3.James Bond
4 Leonardo De Caprio
5.Will Smith.

Me, being a simple guy as I am, I just picked:
1.Sandra -  her sister.
2. Janet - her cousin. 
3. Mercy - her best friend.
4. Cynthia - our nextdoor neighbor and
 4. Mrs Brenda - our son's school teacher. 

To my surprise up to now the game has not ended as am still explaining my choices while I didn't ask her for any explanations for hers!" 

Why are some women like this Sef? 🙄




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