Have you ever been in a situation where you said NO and it sounded like YES to the other party?
Ever been forced to 'gbensh' even though you said NO?Was it with someone you are dating?An ex?A friend you trusted?Someone you liked and wanted to date?
I am referring to both Male and female here cos men also get abused....
How did yours happen?Was it with someone you trusted?Was it in their house or yours?Did you enjoy it or did it scar you so badly you cannot function well?
Or it didn't happen but almost did and you still got scared?
Getting consent before you proceed is very Important-Don't read between the lines!
You said No,your abuser heard NO but still went ahead and abused you?
What is your story?
*Please try to avoid the use of strong s§x words...This is a Family friendly Blog.
This gonna be lit
ReplyDeleteComment readers association member.
ReplyDeleteI have time today. Let me relax while I read comment 😈
ReplyDeleteSitting beside you with cold fura
DeleteMc pinky
🍷 🍹🍦🍰🍎🍜
ReplyDeleteWaiting for comments
Pls shift for me, coming with my 56d glasses to read with u
DeleteMc pinky
Let me go get my chicken and chips with pepsi
ReplyDeleteTime to get serious.
Are u sitting for post UTME ni
DeleteMc pinky
Grabs popcorn and juice "" "" "" "
ReplyDeleteIf you are a regular BV on the blog kindly share your story using anonymous unless you are ready to be taunted by it for the rest of your days on the blog.
ReplyDeleteI have never had such an experience before as I a try to be super careful with the people who I hang around with and where I choose to go with anyone.
LEP😛
Lol! Waka waka guys will soon be tamed, this one NO mid sex is a valid argument. If u know u don't wanna throw legs wide, don't crash into d male house anyhow u like. Respect urself.
ReplyDeleteIs like all the males u know are dogs. Any thing that crashes into their house must "throw legs wide".
DeleteHahahaha, yes o, proper nkita, when u see a man that doesn't have sex, lemme know.
DeleteEveryone don turn reader. We were not dating, we were not even what I'll all friends, he was just the guy living in room adjacent mine in the same apartment in sch. He was a decent guy or so I thought, till he tried to force himself on me one day in my room, it was a struggle but I managed to grab a scissor from my cart and stab him with it, that brought him back to his senses, he apologized that day, the day after et al, but that was it for me. He even turn gentleman, he'll see me in the morning and be like "good morning milady" and I'll be like milady gbokwa gi there!. He was a final year student then, so I didn't get to be tortured by the sight of him for long, once he was gone, it was easier to forget.
ReplyDeleteIn reality, in Nigeria, there are different shades of 'NO'. Anyone that has dated (male and female-if they want to be honest) will tell you it's so. I for one, once I get a 'no', or notice some reluctance, I usually leave well alone and numerous times have heard femme's say what they really wanted was for you to show you really wanted it.. whatever that means.
ReplyDeleteIt's a confusing tightrope here, we men walk.
Meanwhile, I am yet to see a femme that'll get a no and take it as a no. Especially not when she took the initiative... Sex wise
Maybe the question should be why the confusing expectations from girls
Just an honest guy's opinion.
I wanted to finish my project on time so I opted to stay back at school during the first semester break to complete my writing of the project, unknowing to me that the hostel will be scarce of people cause it was a mixed hall (female,male and post graduate student)Awo hall,university of ibadan, i thought some students stay back. I tried to brave it out by sleeping in the hall for two days but on the third day I just couldn't due to the pussy cat that refused to leave the floor of my hostel .
ReplyDeleteI went to town (agbowo) to look for a childhood friend that I saw the previous day so I can crash in his room during the period of my stay in school,met the landlady that said he just left for Lagos. On my way back to school i met one of his friends that he usually come with to my room, I then narrated my plight to him.
He said that my issh is not an issue that his friends are still around and that he will crash in his friends room while I sleep in his room,I was very happy and told in thanks severally.
I then asked him if there is any strings attached to him helping me out ?he said NO. I repeatedly told him no sex oh he said abbah" you are our sister naa shebi you always cook and give us food when we come to your room.
So I went to my hostel to pack my things and go back to his room in town.
It was getting to 10pm he was still in the room with me , I then asked him guy are you not going to your friends place again? He was like I will but he wasn't making any attempt to stand up, I kept asking him repeatedly to leave that I want to sleep before I could say jack Robinson I saw myself struggling to evade the guys mouth (he was trying to kiss me) I was like I told you no sex and you agreed to it so why this?the guy replies.....baabe I have always liked you it is just that I don't want to offend myfriend by asking you out please bear with me.i tried to pacify him by telling him calmly that he should stop then in the morning we will revisit the issue of us dating.. that's how he changed it for me ...baabe do you think I am joking if you don't undress now I will send you to your maker in pieces he then brought out a very sharp knife.
Who wants to die early I undressed and he had his way I only begged him to use condom.early in the morning before 6 I left his house.
When school resumed and my friend came back I narrated what transpired to him and my friend being who he is treated his fuck up big time (story for another day) since then I have been wary of promises made by men.
Oh dear... I can only imagine what u want through. He had no right whatsoever. Karma is still going to get him
DeleteThank God your friend dealt with him because knowing Nigeria police they would probably set him free if you reported him to them.
DeleteI pray God grants you the grace to heal
DeleteI felt bad reading this...... You'll be fine
Boyfriend turned ex, I went to his house to see him and we got into an argument and it something normal for us to have sex and get over the issue but I wasn't having any of that.He started with the foreplay and I kept saying NO and my actions too showed NO, I got up to leave and he dragged me back(it normal for me to always do that though) but he dragged me back so violently and tore my bra, my no turned to please and lots of crying. I was raped by my own boyfriend and all I could get after was "dey form like say u no enjoy am". Just happy I sent thugs to rob him, they broke his car windscreen and stole his money for his house roofing
ReplyDeleteWow...
DeleteHa, no stories yet? And bvs have started taking seats and reserving space, others already are untop of drinks, pop corn etal.
ReplyDeleteAbeg Stella monitize this gist, so that we get them coming in all shapes and colours.
No money, no show.lol
Stella I want to add that this your blog is a charity organisation. Pls feel free to list it as such.
ReplyDeleteYet on top of that UWA EZI OKE.
no matter how good your intentions are, you can't please everybody.
It is IMPOSSICANT.
Have never experienced it, am still a virgin with just few gbensh...hehehehehe 😂😂😂. OK let me be serious, nop have not experienced it before but as a female, we should all be careful and SMART! You can't trust a guy when it comes to sex (konji tinx) self control is like fuel scarcity in Nigeria, it is not easy to find among men... But am sure we still have few men that will RESPECT your decision no matter how horny their are. But still being careful when it comes to this issue is not expensive... Let be wise 😎
ReplyDeleteLooking back to that day makes me smile to my self and not being able to explain to any one not even my hubby the reason for my smiling. I met this guy in my working place and I can't even explain cos he did not even asked me out but all of a sudden from friendship we started calling each other sweet names and viola we are dating. I made it clear to him that I was not gonna gbensh and bobo accepted.six months into our relationship,I had to visit him for the first time in his house ,infact,I went to spend a whole one week in his house for valentine.Clueless me,how was I to know that our no gbenshing law stood because we never stayed alone behind closed doors. The first day,we slept nothing,inside my mind I was already battling weather to believe if the guy is just being a gentle man or has some medical issues.Then,second day,bobo went and bought one movie called "forbidden fruit", that was how I relaxed and was watching movie with bobo mi,I didn't know he has a plan. He already hide condom beside his chair. Before you say jack,we were already kissing and cuddling and I was saying no no no ,bobo was busy removing my shorts.the look in his face was so scary that I was screaming it's my first time,he did not even hear me at all. When he hit the hymen,his eyes cleared," Baby,are you still a virgin?" I did not say a word,"Jesus Christ,I am so so stupid,baby,my queen,nkem,obim,my everything,I am so so sorry" this time around he was shedding tears. Well I am married to him with three kids.forgive my gbagums,I didnt have an English teacher during my secondary
ReplyDeleteAm a student, a northerner,I decided to go buy clothes in Kano market so that I could resell to staffs and some interested students when the school is in session.
ReplyDeleteOn that fateful day I took off from Minna,like two hours later our bus developed a fault,We were delayed for more than 1hour.Finally it was fixed and we continued our journey. We were almost entering Kano when arm robbers cornered us took all our money,phones,jewelries from people wearing them. That was how I could not reach My aunt;the person I was suppose to crash in her place. Had the address on my phone,wish I had written it on a piece of paper,wish I had backup.
Getting to this bus top,we all alighted everybody was furious,I was just thinking of where to crash for the night. Fast forward........I got a guy to help me out,he said his family house is not far from here if am interested I could come along. Hearing the word family self made me happy,followed him. When we got to the "Family house",I didn't c any family, it was just one room apartment. I asked him where are they?he said he was referring to his younger brother and he travelled. He was like am I scared? That I shouldn't be,promised me nothing will happen that he just wished to help me. What choice do I have?We slept and just as I imagined in the midnight he started with these funny moves,I was like bros na beg I beg am still a kid,I just have big stature. Bros no gree,we wrestle and my big stature really helped me. I saw a Saw a bottle Just by the side of his table,pick it and smash it lightly on his head removed the key from his pocket quickly took my handbag ran away,and I returned to our bus top. Kai the journey was a really bad one,but I still thank God,who took me back to Minna. But one quick question why is it hard for guys to keep their promises when it comes to SEX?????
You know if you had killed him with that bottle strike,
Deleteno one will believe he wanted to rape you.
You would have been in the condemned cell.
mine is the yoruba mama put and stew. I repeatedly asked her not to put stew in my egusi, she still put. Iya skye no means no, haba!
ReplyDeleteFear Yoruba and stew hahaha
DeleteThat was in 2008 when I was 18.
ReplyDeleteTravelled for the holiday to same state where my uncle resides with his wife and her youngest son which are his step child but the senior one doesn't live with them but comes visiting.
So me now thinking we are family called him (my uncle's senior stepson) that I was around and we stayed very close.
He ask I come pay him a visit.
So on this fateful day, I called and told him I would visit that day he said ok.
I asked my cousin to let's stroll and go visit him and she was forming she don't want to go anywhere. So I went alone.
On getting there, he gave me his pix to feed my eyes on, before I knew what was happening, he'd locked the door and started wrestling me.
Mehn, I fought him with my strength and was overpowering him then I lost my strength and he held me badly.
I started shouting that Jeff is raping me ooo.
His yard people were outside o but none even made a move.
He said I was wasting my time that nobody would come.
I fought till couldn't fight again.
I told him I was HIV positive so he could let me go. He then brought out condom and he had his way.
I couldn't tell anybody of what transpired cos of judgement though the incident never and would never make me down but he's still on my black list. From then till date I haven't set my eyes on him.
Though if it had happened now I would have shouted it loud to the world till everyone hears.
One day, day go break for him.
This reminds me, let me go check if he's on Facebook, if I see him I'll come let you people know.
Jeff are you here? Remember Thursday 20th July 2008?
Let me check if the date is correct sef.
I forgot to mention that he said he was going to kill me as I fought him.
DeleteI was 23, a virgin when I went to see a friend I met online, we've been communicating for over two years so I took the risk to go to his base since his job wasn't giving him free time. I got there and that night it was hell for me, I told him no but he kept coming on to me, I fought hard but in the end I had to give in because I was tired, I had no fight left in me.
ReplyDeleteLadies please don't be naive, if a guy assures you that when you visit him he won't disturb you for sex Pls don't believe them, they have their own hidden agendas.
The funny part of this life is having no idea that certain things will happen to u. If i had woken up 7th November 2015 knowing that i would be raped by a friend then maybe it wouldn't be much of a shock to me. But then again that's why is called rape. Its unexpected. See this thing called raped damages someone for life. It will leave you with constant fear. Fear of going for a HIV test. And then making up the result in your head. The Fear of male contact. Of someone grabbing your hand or subconsciously pushing you. Then the most scariest of them all is the consent. You really want to say no but the fear just holds you back. Nd u re like even if i say no it will then result to force. Then u just lay down there numb. I once didn't know a direction to a place so a driver said he would help me. I was the only one in the vehicle nd the next thing he started touching my laps. He had no right to, right? Then the flashbacks came again. At first i was numb then i just don't know how got out. I couldn't even scream i just quietly told him to stop the car. It might seem like a minor issue right? But it's my body he has no right to touch it. The whole part of my body is mine. I can do whatever i want to do with it . So you can't just demand it as if it's yours. I too ve a say my no is my no. I know all that but its just the fear. The fear of being locked in with a guy. The fear of him calling you up in the blues again or even seeing him again for the first time in public. The fear of not being able to say no again. I really want to say no but am always tongue tied. Flash back of The beatings, the screams nd the struggle keep coming back again. Nd i just go numb. Look at me typing incoherently to strangers. Pardon me i ve never talked or typed abt it till today. I hope my 21 years will be better.
ReplyDeleteI don't really know. But i think parents should teach most especially their male children that is okay not to be wanted by someone. That is normal for someone to say no to you. Nd they shouldn't ve their way all the time. Nd most especially teach them to ve great respect for the female species, Honour them nd treat them like their sisters.
ReplyDeleteI'm sad reading some stories
ReplyDeleteHorrible
These stories are heart breaking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen some men are aroused, their brain stop functioning....That's why we hear all this news about grown ass men raping babies and toddlers......WTH
ReplyDeleteEwwwwwww. #paedophilealert No...that's paedophilia. A baby t toddler should ordinarily NOT arouse a grown assan sexually. Any man that is aroused there of is sick, sick, sick!! There is nothing normal about that one.
DeleteI feel so bad reading others stories. I have had several attempted rape encounters, never have I actually been raped. There was this one that happened between my ex and I, we had a little disagreement that led him to beating me, he was on top of me giving me heavy blows on my face, before you know it he started tearing my clothes and said he will show me the lesson of my life after all he knows I won't come back to him after that day. He tried penetrating but I wasn't having any of it and struggled with him with all the strength I had in me, he tried kissing and I bit his lips very hard and it started bleeding. On seeing the blood he started slamming my head on the tiled floor, I almost died! My face was swollen I was weak but I still didn't allow him even though he was my bf as at then. He got tired and dragged me outside and locked his door, it was midnight so I slept outside in the dark that night. I am married now to a very good man but the memory still haunts me. Emeka my God will judge you!
ReplyDeleteMy sex doll will be delivered soon. Who kind of losers care about women in this 21st century. Just to stick my dk in a hole. Thanks but no thanks. I no do again
ReplyDeleteMehn were do i start...is it even considered rape? so before I started dating my bf I told him I am a virgin and would like to remain that till after marriage and he agreed.
ReplyDeleteOne year later I travelled and one of those nights when we had sexy chats he said he was ready to have sex with me...hmmm oga, it's not the matter of if you are ready or not. I am not.
Okay now, I came back, went to his house as usual, made out and dude tried getting on top of me. Guy no now, he refused and after much pressure he stopped.
Next day same thing, this time around he just wants to touch blah blah, he kept pushing his d** inside me but it was impossible. I kept pushing and pushing and he was saying he knows it's because of the pain and it would be over soon.
The pain was out of this world, I kept telling him to stop, but he kept telling me to relax
Finally I felt my hymen give way and felt a strange feeling inside me.
He kept saying he thought I was pushing him beacuse of the pain.
Mayb I wasn't firm enough, maybe I didn't show him I meant it. Maybe, maybe.....we will never now. May 18th 2017.....I guess my no wasn't firm enough....