Life's Lessons

How l found out I’m not the the father of my 4 children after 22 years of marriage

#copied from whatsapp.

He’s a 52 year old civil engineer. And his wife, a pharmacist, 50, both raised four children – 21, 19, 16 and 13.

The couple met in 1993, and married in 1995. And raised their four children to the best of their abilities with all the resources at their disposal… Until October 2017.


That’s when he discovered that all four are not his biological children! After DNA tests proved that he’s not in anyway related to the children that meant the world to him.

Here’s the distraught father’s narration of how his world collapsed…

This is my story:


''On the 20th of September 2017, my 3rd child who happens to be a female was critically ill in the hospital and the doctor informed us that she needs an urgent blood transfusion.


My wife and I were in the hospital and we both decided to have our blood tested in other to know who has the same blood group with our daughter. But to our surprise when the result came out, we were informed that none of us has the same blood group with our daughter. We had to find a way out as soon as possible.

Fortunately for us, our first son came and he happened to be a match. I was innocent about the whole thing because I didn’t know the implication of a child not matching either of the parent’s blood group. After the whole thing was taken care of, the doctor called me in privately to ask if I was the real father of my own daughter. At first, I was furious but I calmed down and answered him by saying, “Of course, why would you be asking me such question?”


He went ahead to explain how a child can have either the mother’s or father’s blood group. I was confused and I asked him what he was trying to tell me. And he said it’s either I’m not the father of the child or my wife is not the mother because one of us is supposed to match. But since none is a match there is a problem. I didn’t take it seriously because it was sounding odd to me. When I informed my wife about it, her answer was, “Don’t mind that stupid doctor.”


After 3 days, our daughter was discharged from the hospital. My mind was no longer at rest because I didn’t know what to do. I went back to the doctor and asked for advice on what I should do. He told me that if I wanted to be sure of everything, I should have a paternity test done on my daughter. When he mentioned that to me, I almost collapsed because I know what that means. It was too much for me to handle. But I had to be a man and face whatever is about to happen. I asked him if I should do the same thing for the remaining 3. He told me that will be a good idea if I can afford it.



I decided to take the bold step even though it was not easy. I asked him if he has an idea of where I can carry out the test here in Lagos and the cost. He advised me of 2 places and their prices. Coincidentally, a friend of mine told me that he saw an advert on Facebook about a companythat they offer the cheapest DNA Paternity test in Nigeria. I quickly called the number they put on the advert and I spoke with the CEO of the company just to confirm if it’s actually true. She was nice and helpful and booked an appointment for me to come in with my 4 children in order to take samples from us. I asked her how accurate the result can be, and she said 99.99% if am the father and 0% if am not the father.



When we all arrived at her office, she told me to come in alone. She asked me for my story and if I was ready for this because the result could be either way and especially 4 children involved, the eldest is 21 years old. At first, I was scared and she asked me if I wanted to take time to think about it before making the decision. I was surprised and asked her if she doesn’t want money. She smiled and answered me by saying: “ Sir, it’s not just all about the money, I think of my clients’ psychological well being first.”



I had to be a man and I told her I was ready. I asked her when the result will be ready and she said 5 working days because she is yet to start the analysis in Nigeria. So, for now, she sends the samples to her partner company in Canada.



The waiting period seemed like a hundred years to me. When the results came in, she called me to come in for them. I was scared but at the same time, I wanted to know the truth. When I got to her office, counselling began even before giving me the results, I just knew the worst has happened but I didn’t expect it to be all my children that I have laboured for all my life, giving them the best in life. But unfortunately for me when I opened the results all the 4 children were not mine. 3 sons and 1 daughter. I couldn’t hold it as a man, I broke down in tears.



At first, I taught I was dreaming and waiting to wake up from sleep. The trauma was too much for me.


When I got home, I called my wife to the bedroom immediately and gave her the results. She denied everything. I wanted to believe her to make myself happy. I went ahead to call the CEO to ask her if she was sure about the result. I spoke with her with an angry tone, but she was calm and told me she is very sure and referred me to other places I can try doing another test. She informed me that although the prices are higher.




I didn’t know what to do and I went to the doctor that advised me to go for the paternity test. When he saw the results, he told me this can’t be a mistake because DNA does not lie and that the 22 loci region is the highest in the Paternity test. I felt more convinced and went back home. I told my wife that if she does not tell me the truth I will go ahead to our church pastor and show them the result. After hearing me say that, she broke down into tears and confession started.


She had all my supposed to be children for the same man. That was why our son had same blood group with the sister. She has refused to tell me the man and the reason why she did what she did.


We are yet to tell the children and our family members. I’m in great shock and don’t know where to start from.

Here is a short interview with the civil engineer…

Were you always travelling when the children were conceived?


I was travelling a lot, but the maximum time I spend out of the house is 2 weeks. I do not keep track of when my wife gets pregnant.


Do you know the father of your ‘children’?


No, my wife is holding on to that.

Can you have babies?


I have never doubted that. So, I didn’t have any reason to check if I’m medically okay to have children.But I do not feel any abnormality in himself. I will go for a test to check, but I’m not in the right state of mind now.


What do you do? And your wife?

I’m a Civil Engineer, my wife is a pharmacist.


Why are you still living with her?


I am no longer living in the house now, I’m staying in the hotel.


When were the tests done?


Samples were submitted on the 3rd of October 2017 and results received on the 10th of October 2017.

What did you tell the children when the tests were done?


We told them they were going for a general checkup for genetic testing since HumGene Limited offers the services for that.


What kind of samples were taken?


Buccal Swabs.


Were the children not curious?


Not at all. We didn’t give them any reason to be curious.


Who have you told about the result?


Only my wife and the Doctor that suggested the test.


What’s your wife saying?


Just crying as usual and refused to tell me the reason behind her actions, I moved out the next day because I don’t want to be in the same house with her. The more I see her, the angrier I get, and I don’t want it to lead to something I will regret.


Are you not scared for your life?

I’m not, but this question is now making me think if I should be scared, I can’t think straight right now.



What do you want to do now?


To be honest with you, I’m yet to come to a decision. It’s very difficult. I have worked so hard to give the children the best anyone can imagine giving to their children.

How much did the tests cost?


For myself and one child, it was ₦60,000.00 and an extra child was ₦40,000. In total, I paid ₦180,000 for myself and the 4 children


Blood group: Husband (A), wife (AB), first child (O+), second (B+), third (O+), fourth (B+)