STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CRUMBLING MARRIAGE NEEDS HELP:
Dear Stella,
I love you blog but I often contribute as an anonymous personality
Here is my chronicle:
I got married to my wife about 10 years ago. We have had our ups and downs in life.We both started from the scratch before getting to where we are today. I have one of the most beautiful women as wife and 'godly' lady by human assumption and estimation but this was where the problem began from.
About one year ago, I discovered that she indirectly and systematically reduced her access to my phone(s) and started passwording her phone too. Being a secret security worker that she is, I thought the security consciouness of her work could lead her to passwording her gadgets like phones for security purpose, etc the only part that was not clear to me was why she stopped asking some things from me about my personal life and relationship with opposite sex as she used to do before.
I need to point out also that I come home on Fridays and go back to work on Mondays or even Sunday at times. This, to an extent, has reduced our communication and intimacy but was never a problem at the surface because we talk everyday, at least, twice a day or more.
Last year, I had many programmes that I did for growth and developments. The trainings were majorly at the weekends and they reduced my time at home with my wife and children. This seems to be a hard lesson for me as the result was a bad one.
Somehow, God revealed to me few days ago that she engaged in sexual immorality and in the revelation I saw that she did have a thing with a light-skinned man without telling me but an old man called me in that dream and told me that she has not revealed the truth to me. The revelation was terrifying and I woke up.
I called her on phone as we were at different places. I asked her of any act of cheating because of what I saw. She denied it initially but few days later she told me on the phone that it is not a matter that could is meant to be on the phone. When we met at home she broke down in tears over the weekend and started telling me how her ex-boyfriend crossed into her life again probably because I was not always available to talk to her, etc.They got talking, she was enjoying his company, etc She gave in after a while and they had sex. She later discontinued the immoral relationship and deleted the guy's number to end any opportunity of seeing each other again.
I felt like a dead man. Everything in me died immediately because I dont know of what she might want to complain about that she does not have at home. We are not poor. I have a house, cars and a relatively good job. I couldn't think straight for 2 days after this ugly incident. I am currently feeling suicidal.
She wept, knelt, cried, rolled, apologized, etc. She begged me for forgiveness and asked me to pray for her which I have done. She told me that she has always been feeling odd and always tried to tell me but the fear of what I could do next was the issue. She also said she wanted to tell our pastor but she changed her mind later. She begged me not to divorce her as her mum may die of heart attack, she also mentioned the raising of our children, etc
The problem is I keep remembering this issue and it is realy hurting to me. What can I do to overcome this? I dont think I want to divorce her, not in my plan for now. I need healing. I want to forget this bad issue. What can I do?
Please what can I do to be healed on time. She is trying to please me but it keeps on flashing to my mind.
I want mature Blog Visitors to counsel me on how to be healed in my mind. It is really devastating. i have never believed she could fall for such. I trusted her more than I trusted myself.
Please help a brother to rebuild his home.
Dear Stella,
I love you blog but I often contribute as an anonymous personality
Here is my chronicle:
I got married to my wife about 10 years ago. We have had our ups and downs in life.We both started from the scratch before getting to where we are today. I have one of the most beautiful women as wife and 'godly' lady by human assumption and estimation but this was where the problem began from.
About one year ago, I discovered that she indirectly and systematically reduced her access to my phone(s) and started passwording her phone too. Being a secret security worker that she is, I thought the security consciouness of her work could lead her to passwording her gadgets like phones for security purpose, etc the only part that was not clear to me was why she stopped asking some things from me about my personal life and relationship with opposite sex as she used to do before.
I need to point out also that I come home on Fridays and go back to work on Mondays or even Sunday at times. This, to an extent, has reduced our communication and intimacy but was never a problem at the surface because we talk everyday, at least, twice a day or more.
Last year, I had many programmes that I did for growth and developments. The trainings were majorly at the weekends and they reduced my time at home with my wife and children. This seems to be a hard lesson for me as the result was a bad one.
Somehow, God revealed to me few days ago that she engaged in sexual immorality and in the revelation I saw that she did have a thing with a light-skinned man without telling me but an old man called me in that dream and told me that she has not revealed the truth to me. The revelation was terrifying and I woke up.
I called her on phone as we were at different places. I asked her of any act of cheating because of what I saw. She denied it initially but few days later she told me on the phone that it is not a matter that could is meant to be on the phone. When we met at home she broke down in tears over the weekend and started telling me how her ex-boyfriend crossed into her life again probably because I was not always available to talk to her, etc.They got talking, she was enjoying his company, etc She gave in after a while and they had sex. She later discontinued the immoral relationship and deleted the guy's number to end any opportunity of seeing each other again.
I felt like a dead man. Everything in me died immediately because I dont know of what she might want to complain about that she does not have at home. We are not poor. I have a house, cars and a relatively good job. I couldn't think straight for 2 days after this ugly incident. I am currently feeling suicidal.
She wept, knelt, cried, rolled, apologized, etc. She begged me for forgiveness and asked me to pray for her which I have done. She told me that she has always been feeling odd and always tried to tell me but the fear of what I could do next was the issue. She also said she wanted to tell our pastor but she changed her mind later. She begged me not to divorce her as her mum may die of heart attack, she also mentioned the raising of our children, etc
The problem is I keep remembering this issue and it is realy hurting to me. What can I do to overcome this? I dont think I want to divorce her, not in my plan for now. I need healing. I want to forget this bad issue. What can I do?
Please what can I do to be healed on time. She is trying to please me but it keeps on flashing to my mind.
I want mature Blog Visitors to counsel me on how to be healed in my mind. It is really devastating. i have never believed she could fall for such. I trusted her more than I trusted myself.
Please help a brother to rebuild his home.
*My Dear Sir,please find somewhere in your heart to forgive her and uproot this thing growing inside of you...Forgive her with your eyes opened...
It is not enough for you to feel suicidal please.
Dont listen to anyone who advices you otherwise.....
Give her another chance.
We women sef, our wahala plenty..
ReplyDeleteSir please forgive her and like Stella said, do it with your eyes open! God bless your home.
Just let her go cos the truth is you will never forget and things can never be the way they were. You will only end up committing suicide because of her and she will continue from where she stopped. When a woman cheats, you have lost her emotionally. If you see how she gradually withdrew from u, its emotional transfer to her ex. Didnt start today.
DeleteSigned
Tuscany
I is okay to feel the way you do. You need to allow your slef to greive, mourn, cry and feel ad its part of the healing process. You both need to see a counselor with experience in dealing with these type of issues. Let her be aware that you are broken and the trust is gone and she will need to earn it. Wish i could tell you everything will be okay in twodays but that's a lie. Healing will come but it will take time you both need to work on rhis together. Some day it will be okay, it took some years for someone i know but they are stronger and better now, it is well
DeleteReally Tuscany,he should let her go. You do know this is a MARRIAGE with kids involved and not mere relationship.
DeleteWho is above mistake. It is obvious she has a good heart because me can never own up to cheating except I am caught red-handed with much evidence attached to the claim (though I won't cheat) becos men will never forget it for the rest of the marriage,they can even take it as license to do theirs to another level. She is remorseful,she has asked for forgiveness, the fact she has confessed and is taking necessary steps to fix the marriage. ....please forgive her. Afterall we women forgive you men all the time.
Uncle oga sir,
DeleteIt's like your peninsula is very tiny hence the gentlemanlyness. You shoulda married a tear rubber broah. These hoes are loose and ain't loyal kaka - ex bfs & okafor's law b reaping d punany 2 shreds since 19gbigidi (Fact). That being said, d deed has been done, ain't no real nigga commiting bo suicide over delapidated kponmo!
Stay calm and give it time, tell no one else other than us this sacrilege. Hopefully una fit dey alright laslas, if not, divorce the bitch on one condition that you sef never ever play away match before.
Ps. Some men dey try sha! The things good decent men cover for family and the sacrifices we make yet we're underappreciated!! #clicktsk - drops mic
But this woman mumu sha! For the ten years they have been married, can the man boldly say he has never cheated on her? Did he ever confess to her???
DeleteAnd just this once with an ex she is confessing upandan. Confess fire!
If I happen to have the opportunity to cheat on you, I'm taking that secret to my grave mehn!
Who confession EPP?
Whatever the goose enjoyed, the gander has equal right to partake too,
Oga, forgive her, same way she has been forgiving you for both the known and unknown, now you know the hurts we married women go through when cheated on and we are told to forgive and even pray for the man.
uncle poster, have you ever erred? have you ever cheated? You said it yourself that initially she used to complain. What did you about it? probably call her a nag!!! what you men don't understand is that it is better for a woman to complain, when she does she cares. But when she locks up, she may be up to no good.
DeleteMost of you think after providing for the famiiy then that is it. The short time you were spending at home you could have made the most out of it , take her on a date, compliment her, make her feel wanted.Some of you would rather spend that your leisure time with gfs and friends. You neglect your wife.
My husband when we dating used to be very romantic, light candles etc but now , my birthday could pass and i won't get a card. Meanwhile, I constantly buy him gifts but i am going to stop all thatm
Anyway, please forgive her and try and mend your marriage. The next person you probably ditch her for is not any better. Forgive her please and try and forget abd bring back that sparkle, make her your friend, lover and confidant.
it is well with you guys and all the best.
Miyake so virgins don't cheat? The fact that you married a woman a virgin doesn't mean she can't cheat with a new guy.
DeleteTo the poster please forgive your wife I know it's not going to be easy to regain back the trust and affection, but pls just give it time she allowed her emotions that was all over the place get the best of her pls give her another chance sir.
Just as bed and roses said Godforbid I cheat and tell my spouse I will rather ask God to forgive me and move on because men don't have the mind to bear such news but this is what most women deal with and they are not dead.
@ 16.01, the woman is a super natural being who is supposed to forgive the man for any wrong doing but let the reverse be the case, these serial cheats can't forgive.
DeleteWhat is the big deal? Men cheat everyday emotionally and sexually! Oga forgive her it rains everywhere abi na?pray for her Check yourself too, are you a nag? are you dirty? are u romantic? Do you buy her gifts? take her on dates? give her money regularly? Dont worry just pray u hear? the enemy is the ex! He cannot destroy ur home, its just womens nature to cheat there is nothing more to it. The fact that she is still with you means she loves you more disregard the outsider and face your home build it again. Its in a womans nature and there is nothing you can do. God will help u overcome. be strong.
DeleteDon't mind that poster. Prostitutes were once virgins. Anyone can cheat. It's just discipline and the fear of God
DeleteHello Poster, I can tell you I know exactly how you feel 1,000%. My wife of 11 years cheated on me twice. First was after our 9 years anniversary. I was broken. I mean broken. I gave her freedom to express herself, allowed her girls night out, Supported her aspirations, funded her business. When she cheated, she claimed I was not available to her emotionally. I nearly died. Wanted to jump off a bridge and end it all. Until, I confided in 2 women I respect so much and I believe are of high moral standing. In fact each of them opened up to me separately that even they have come that close. That when women to don't get the desired attention, they seek it elsewhere. That was the message that helped me heal. When I evaluated himself, I also came to agree that since I got promoted and now heads a department, though I make money, spend more money but had less time. You are even lucky, your wife still has conscience. Don't lose that woman. She is genuinely sorry. Mine didn't confess ooo. I noticed it from change in her behavior. She became more withdrawn and always wanted me out of the house. She will pick little quarrel so she would have excuse not to sleep in the room we share but guest room. Not even the children's room. It was until I caught her red hand on video call having sex chat that she admitted all she had been up to.
DeleteI had to change my work ethics. Close earlier. Spend more time at home. Stopped working weekends. Spend more money. Credited her on every occasion, anniversary, mothers day, birthday, Val day. Took her out. But later this year, I found out she was having cyber affair with an ex. Though, there was no emotional withdrawal from me at all. She has apologized yet again, but I just came to understand that somehow people just want to have someone that can talk to and just laugh. Someone they can fun around with and be crazy. Anyway, I have allowed her have her fun. I can't even think of divorcing her, we have 4 kids together and apart from this issue, she has been a wonderful wife and mother to my kids.
I know we men can't believe our wives can cheat. Upbringing and society didn't prepare us for it. But women were fully prepared from time Immemorial, their mum and the mum after their mum, the the mum after had always told women their men will cheat that it's in their nature. So some how women have a stronger shock absorber on cheating issues. Because men aren't prepared for it, some could die or kill their wives.
Poster, your wife is a good woman who just made a bad mistake. Please forgive.
Forgive her, ur healing is a gradual process, it will pass. Forgive please
DeletePoster hard luck.
DeleteForgive her but don't have sex with her anytime soon. Watch her from a distance and see her reaction, remember a chameloen can always change her colour. she might go back to that act any time soon when she realise how quickly you forgive and forget.
I know how it feels when a woman you call your wife for over 10years sleeps with another man under your roof all bcos husband is out to town, now you wanna make love to her you will always have a flash back, this P***y that another man has eaten? it hurts man..
Secondly how are you so sure she won't repeat this same act anytime soon maybe with your gateman? That's the height of how loose a wife and be.
Forgive her but let her know you need sometime to forget about it.
Also watch how remorseful she is that will determine how soon you might wanna forget about it.
Be Strong.
Stella u r calling someone "sir" if na u dey call ma" u go dey form vex! I kw u will delete this comment as usual
DeleteWhy is it that guys can't stand their women cheating on them when they are the highest cheats yet we forgive them? Oga poster why did yu ask her about it when yu know yu can't handle the truth? Because she told yu about it yu now want to kill yourself...ngwa kill yourself na....mtchew...
DeleteSir, you guys should take time out to go on a vacation. Just the two of you, you need it at this time. Consider that your wife is repentant and she really loves you. You have a beautiful hime, don't let the devil pull it down. And keep praying that God should cleanse your heart from the thoughts.
DeleteThank you for this post. Soo, women crave attention. And cheating is not exclusive to men. I am not here to judge you and your wife. I am a happily married woman that came VERY close to cheating with an ex cuz i got bored and felt that my hubby was no longer emotionally available. My ex sensed the crack on thr wall and stepped in. He told me all I wanted to hear and listened to all i had to say. Before I knew it, i fell flat on my face for him. It took divine intervention not to have sex with him as i have come to realize that that error would have been costly. Your wife obviously has a conscience. She could have denied it and cleaned up her acts, but she came clean to you. It won't happen overnight, but allow yourself to heal and forgive her. God bless your marriage.
DeleteDream indeed. Joseph the dreamer. Instead you to say that you had her followed or investigated, you are coming here to talk crap about dream revelations. Why won’t snakes and monkeys swallow money? And when are you Nigerians ever going to get tired of deflecting or accepting your actions to avoid taking full responsibilites? Just to avoid bashing you had to come up here with your bullshit ass divine intervention. Vision my left bumboclat bottom.
DeletePlease and please find a place in ur heart to forgive her,try and plan a vacation, just the both of u so dt u can spend time together.
ReplyDeletePoster, somehow you have a hand in making what happened, happen. That's why you don't undermine the time you spend, not just with your children but ur wife also.
DeleteWhen you neglect spending time with her and giving her the attention she needs, there is bound to be an emotional lapse. You both grow distant and she is likely to tilt towards an old flame who gives her the attention she seeks from her husband.
I am not justifying what ur wife did, nothing justifies infidelity. But I want u to see that u failed to do ur part. A woman needs more than houses, cars, money. She needs u to be there. She needs affection. She needs to know she is loved. You need to show her she is admired and valued, not just saying it to her.
She lacked it, and the devil brought the temptation of her ex-boyfriend along and unfortunately she fell for it.
But what's done is done. The question is how is she now? Is she repentant? Remorseful? If u were in her shoes would you want to be forgiven? If yes, then do likewise. Do unto ur spouse what u want ur spouse to do unto u. Forgive her.
It is not expected to be easy, this thing called forgiveness but it can be done, by God's grace. So take it easy. The healing is a process, it's not automatic. It takes time to heal, step by step, day after day as u are determined in ur heart to forgive her, the pain ebbs out. Now, it may not go away completely, the thought may not go away completely either but God will give you the grace to overcome and forgive totally.
Do your part. Don't take ur marriage for granted. Spend an alone time with wife please. She needs you. Do ur part and let God do His.
Get some space if u need it, to pray, to think. Forgive deliberately. I pray God heals you cos I know this is terribly painful but stay determined to make ur marriage work. Don't let the devil steal it.
God bless u.
Mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com
I hate when a woman hides stuffs and only confess if she is caught but lucky for her you are ready to forgive her.
DeleteI love your kind of heart.
Please make sure you focus on her good part and also ensure you have her password going forward.
Also try to keep paying surprise visit back home and check on her.
@pure inspiration
DeleteA loose woman is a loose woman if he likes he should go for one year vacation or resign from his job and sit at home cuddling the wife, the fact doesn't change that she is a loose woman simple!
What will you say about women whose husbands work in the riggs? She is aware of his kind of Job,not that she's not aware
"Poster don't be surprise this might not be her first time cos for you to have that dream means she has being sleeping around".
There is a huge difference between forgive and forget. He should forgive but to forget? She really need to prove him wrong. He need to have a CCTV in the house, watch her movement for a while if she is genuinely repentant, that will determine when to forget.
Poster be strong oo no go commit suicide bcos of woman cos when you are gone, she will marry another man and move on quickly like the speed of light and your children will bear another man's name.
Like I said be strong.
I've asked, I've searched, I've asked,,why do women hate women? Don't get me wrong, I'm a woman too and the reason I generalize is because it's very common. This man is searching for healing and a woman like his wife is calling her 'loose'. Is that the advice to give? Do you know her? Have you worn her shoes? It's always easy for us to sit on our high horse, look down on people and judge, we forget that even Jesus forgives when we are truly sorry. I don't know what the poster or his wife is going through,but he called her 'a good woman'. If she's good enough to be remorseful,then I think she should be forgiven. Being caught alone may seem like enough punishment for her. All I'm saying is if we women would support ourselves, take care of ourselves and love ourselves more there wouldn't be so much hate out there.
Delete#One love
At poster. Look for someone to gbensh, then both of you will be on the same page.
ReplyDeleteUna go dey alright las las
It's funny how bitter and suicidal man feel wen cheated just once whereas they cheat everyday. Dear poster, in your ten years of marriage, have u cheated on her? Even if it's once? The answer is likely yes coz ure a man.if u hv, plsss dont ever raise this issue again. If uve not, forgive her but if forgivn her means using it against her in future, pls divorce her now...shikena
DeleteTheyve been on the same page long ago,ofcourse guy man cant say he hasnt tested another pussy for 10yrs going!
DeleteBut no one will listen to her side if they hear shes cheated, shes a woman, and she'd definitely lose more if word gets out, even her kids will grow up to blame her...
My advice to him is, give it time... you'd be surprised how many men have xperienced such and cried in their rooms then come out smiling, men dont reveal that their wife cheated, its a blow below the belt.. Have i watched Richard Geres Unfaithful? although he killed the wifes lover sha, lol... dont go that way sha but he 4gav the wife sha, but its so damn HARD!! The pussy will irritate you, it will feel wider even if the ex dick is smaller, she'd suddenly develp body odour 2u.... You need to punish her somehow b4 u can trully 4give her! Yes, if youve not punished her, you'd NEVER 4give her, maybe punishment by fucking her friend or someone she hates then make sure she knows or leave home for some months.... just look for a mild punishment sha, or ud harbour hatred 4her, that suicidal thought just PISSED me off to hear.... C'mon man up and get rid of that thought.
Oga if you have never cheated on her (which we know isn't possible) then carry on, but if you have my dear, this is just how hurt every woman feels plus you left your family alone, no intimacy, no companionship. Even the Bible says it's not good for man to be alone, that's why eve was also created. Forgive
DeleteLol
Delete😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋
The good thing is that you both are talking after the exposure.
ReplyDeleteNow, God did not reveal this to you to make you "feel like committing suicide"; no! He revealed it to you to heal your marriage and save the soul you love. This is a test of Love; and you know that love forgives . . .love is patient and kind, and does not keep record of wrongs.
God to that same God almighty in fasting and praying and meditation on the word. If you can get a leave, go on a vacation with you wife. Your marriage is injured and needs healing and you will be healed!
Thank you. Anonymous 15:08. We really do not on our own have the strength to forgive. Ask the Lord to take away the hurt and pain you feel. Tell God you truly want to forgive and ask His help. And He will.
DeleteFor by strength shall no man prevail.
You can forgive her and God can heal your marriage. What if she hadn't had the mind to confess, you won't know. Has God forgiven her? By all means He has.
What if it were you, would you want her to forgive you?
Her mistake or sin is not excusable. But she can be truly forgiven by you. And you can have a great marriage.
She was vulnerable. And we all are at one point or another. Our strength and weaknesses are not the same.
thanks annon 15:08 and 15:51, pls dear poster take their advice,I assure you it will go a long way ok.God be with you.
DeleteWhat about women whose husbands cheat on them repeatedly ? Do they commit suicide ? Do you know how they feel? They still have to fake a smile whenever they see their husbands. Cool for him to eat. Do you think money can stop infidelity ? You weren't there. She needed someone to talk to. Men do this non-stop. Your wife did n it became a chronicle.
ReplyDeleteSolution
Make yourself available at home
Gbam!!! Plus watch War Room ,fast and pray for her .
DeleteExactly. 1m likes for your comment. Make yourself available simple. She is very good woman for stopping the extra marital affairs. Some wont even frel bad about it. If you lose that woman, its your loss. She is a good woman
DeleteYou are a fool!! If the money is not available in the house you would then blame the man.Try wearing a man's then you can judge
DeleteAnyhow una try to compare both, it'd never be the same! Right from the bible a cheating man is easily 4given but a woman is an unheard story.... society and time has imprinted that in concrete, ask ur mothers, she'd throw my light on this matter! Its a BIGger betrayal for a woman to cheat than a man.
DeleteYour response is so on point. The ONLY question i have for the poster is, Sir, have you ever slept with another woman since you got married? If No, then see this as a test of love,that you can overcome. Women go through these most of the time...its a lot funny to see the mans reaction to same thing. Not justifying though...but all the same...youve got to make your marriage work.
DeleteWeed chic you must really be stupid and dumb.
DeleteHe should make himself available and sit at home doing nothing.
Or do you think he wished to be far from home from what he said.
If a man has no job and stays at home always, fools like you would be the one to label him lazy....
Now this hardworking daddy is doing everything he could to work for his family and the disappointing wife yet you still want him to stay at home... provide jobe for him at home na ode oshi
@ poster Sir, am surprised that your wife only begged you not to divorce her because of her mum ( so her mum wont have attack at the heart) so if not for the mum, she would have considered divorce? ( just asking)
if you are convinced that she wont do it again please forgive her sir.
Still wondering why she is still passwording the phone after a year ( is she still hiding something, or she sti has the Ex-nude on her phone?)
You know is truly she wont do it again, if you are convinced she wont do it again, please forgive her and let go> I pray that you shall enjoy your marriage in Jesus mighty name.
This phase shall pass.
Which nincompoop insulted me? What I said it fact. If a wife were to be working in a different state and her husband cheats, won't people blame her?
DeleteGood day Sir,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are going through this pain. First and foremost, you said she is a good woman, who made a mistake because of the gap and distance.
If you truly love her as Christ loves the church, you ll find forgiveness in your heart.
Suicidal!!! That's very selfish thought... Look at your kids and erase that thought. It is never a way or solution to any problem.
If possible, both of you should see a marriage counselor. Primarily forgiveness is something we find inside us. Let go of all the pain, let her know she disappointed you.
Be willing to rebuild the marriage again.
None is without a sin!!
Aha, all the girls will now be shouting "forgive!'
ReplyDeletehE HAS ALready forgiven but is looking for ways to forget. If it were the other way round, same girls will be shouting "divorce, divorce!" as if divorce is easy. God hates divorce and God is kind.
Poster, you are a very sensible man and reading the word of God and praying will help you heal with time.
Sharap! Is it your forgive?
DeleteI can see this weed don enter ya brain well well
DeleteYou sure say them no go rush you go emergency
For nothing at all, you go just dey halla for efrybodi?
So sorry sir for how u feel...
ReplyDeleteBut pls forgive her cause if the table were to trun she will do the same..
Pls everybody deserved a second chance.. Find it in ur heart..let it go..
Just curious.. All the time u have been away... Have u been faithful?
ReplyDeleteOde... imagine the question you asked.
DeleteIt just shows you are a cheat.. I pity any man wey marry you.
Mumu x2
thats the the question here... Tell him how he can 4give and 4get and save his marriage!
DeleteSomeone gets to ASK this question...My exact sentiments!
Deletetaa sharaap, you are the moron cuz she asked a good question. Of course he hasnt been faithful. He thinks providing everything is what a happy marriage is all about.Madam was dying in silence and craving his attention. She snooped and discovered oga was cheating and also started her own.
DeleteWho is this stupid anon she asked a simple question ? Men do this all the time and their women take their sorry ass back. Yes oga in all the yes of your marriage have you been 100% faithful to your wife ? most of us do things to others we can't even take
DeleteWho is this stupid anon she asked a simple question ? Men do this all the time and their women take their sorry ass back. Yes oga in all the yes of your marriage have you been 100% faithful to your wife ? most of us do things to others we can't even take
Deleteyou are really a big mumu lady bird nonsense... So you mean you cant be away and still be faithful.
DeleteGrow up and get brain.
Stella and all the ladies on this blog are playing double standard. If it were a man that did this you all will be shouting divorce his stupid a*s!
ReplyDeleteThe man has already forgiven.
Nice one guy. You will heal!
She cheated and your marriage is crumbling? Do you know how many marriages will be standing if all infidelity led to divorce? Do you men have any idea what wives of unfaithful men go through? How it feels to let a cheating husband make love to them? How many times they think of killing him?
ReplyDeleteHow is this supposed to help him??
DeleteFoolish person
Mumu like him, why comparing this faithful man to some senseless men like your dad probably... If not you wont be this pained
DeleteWell, since she owned up to her sin, the right to do is to forgive her. You are a good man with a kind heart, so don't make the mistake of bearing the incident in your mind. Forgive and nurture the love you once shared. . .
ReplyDeleteDear brother,
ReplyDeleteWatch war room oh,and pray for her again,you'll be fine.
You can loose weight if you're fat and look sexy for your wife all the time so she won't cheat again. May GOD save your marriage.....Amen
Amanda Nwanne m dalu so! U gave him same advice dat dey will give a woman😂 Poster do u nag? Are u fat? Please lose weight , watch war room and pray every night for 40 days!!
DeleteAmanda nwannem Nara nsusu biko. Inukwa....
DeleteIf reverse was the case now , we no go hear word here.
Hahahaha@Amanda....oga ngwanu inugo ya....go and watch war room u hear...get on your knees and pray for your wife....try and make to urself available to her...money isn't everything....
DeleteJesus told those men that wanted to stone a lady to death if any of them is with no sin...let him first cast a stone at her....so if really yu are faithful and have been faithful to her all your ten years of marriage....den yu are free to cast your stone at her.
Time heals, but u know as a guy that u will hardly forget that anoda man Pounded ur wife n came in her(sorry)!
ReplyDeleteUr wife is a weakling sha!
What happened to not telling u?
Mtchew, forgive her cos she would've forgiven u if she had caught u too.
Blackyyyyy!!! Lol.
DeleteSir, the truth is you can't forget. I don't think it's possible.
Mental and Emotional Maturity is needed here. She is a good woman... Embrace her.
you're adding fuel to fire.
DeleteThe ex didnt pound her jo...
He didnt even cum then guilt made to push him away, it ended and she wore her dress in the dark room
Am not too sure she would have forgiven him because she would want to revenge if she can make the first move like she did with her ex.....
DeleteDont forgive her because you think she would frgive if she was in your shoe, please forgive her because she is still your loving wife, she made an error and she realized her mistake and she would not do same again.
It is well
Lol! He even gave her doggy, I can imagine her moaning,squeezing n cumming plus d hot sperm d guy deposited in her!
DeleteOga no vex o
Stella post this last one abeg! Hehehehehe
Hahahahaha this bb is wicked.
DeleteThe woman is really mumu to go confess. Does she know what the man does mon-Fri.
I will never confess such. Even if you show me video evidence I will say it is my twin. Hahahahahaha
Men never forget that thing o. Imagine him saying he wants to commit suicide. If woman commits suicide after every cheating. Half of woman go don leave mother earth.
To Err is human and so I ask that you find a place in your heart to answer this question sincerely "if God could forgive us 77 times for our sins" then why can't you forgive her?
ReplyDeleteIt's hard I know but find a way in your heart to look back at the old times you have had,forgive her and hopefully address the issues that made it feels like she needed someone else in her life other than you.
Every morning pray for strength from God to move on,pray for her and your family.
In all you do share this incident with no third party,protect your home and time heals all wounds.
LEP😛
This is wow! As much as I hate cheating, I will plead with you to please forgive her. I know trust has been broken and things might never be the same but please make an effort. Remember that forgiveness is not for her, but for the sake of your peace of mind.
ReplyDelete...and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us... Please forgive. Take her away from home for a night or two. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit for help, express yourself to her, not because you want to hurt her but because you need to unburden your heart and watch God do the rest.
It is well with you and yours.
Peace!
What came to my mind as I read this is, forgiveness in God's eyes, makes us act as though we have never sinned.
ReplyDeleteSee your wife through the eyes of God and forgive her, ask Him for the grace to help you heal and work on your marriage.
Poster, pls forgive totally from the bottom of heart and try to forget it. I am sure she would forgive u too if it were the other way round. And pls be very close to ur family.
ReplyDeleteYour wife is only sober for getting caught. She would have taken her misdeeds to the grave. You need to go on a personal journey of healing so that you don't react to her in a way you will forever regret.
ReplyDeleteRight now, you dont need her continuous pleading, what you need is to take as much time as you need to be alone and heal, then make a decision on your marriage. This might mean living separately for some moment.
Her cheating is her choice, don't put any blame on yourself.
She didn't get caught. Forgive her but start by forgiving yourself. You're hurting because of guilt . You abandoned your wife for money and career and now u see person body no be firewood
DeleteOga she didn't get caught. Do u know what it means to b caught? She could have as well dennied. And d man is to b blame cos it's not easy to b left alone.
DeleteGetting caught bawo ? did you read the chronicle upside down or you jus came to that conclusion on your own ? Okay let me gist you that part since you didn't get it
DeleteHe said he had a dream that his wife cheated and he asked his wife which she said no she didn't cheat, but she called him after some time that what she want to tell him can't be discussed on phone so she eventually told him the truth and apolomaybe because her conscience couldn't take it anymore or maybe she felt bad and remorseful for doing that to her husband. So pls she wasn't caught she confessed to her husband and that is a huge step she made a mistake that's all.
Her confession was not out of her own volition but the husband's questioning as a result of the revelation he received. She needed not to wait for her husband's approach on the issue before confessing if she was truly sorry.
DeleteAs long as the confession only came out after her husband asked, then she was caught. You don't have to be pants down before you get caught.
To anonymous 16:37: "And d man is to b blame cos it's not easy to b left alone."
DeleteYour character is who you are when you are all alone. Assuming you are broke, will you go rob a bank knowing that you won't be caught? If your answer is Yes, then you are a thief innately.
Same assumption can be applied to cheating in this case. If you will cheat because you are alone and won't be caught then you are character deficient.
Suicidal that means 70percent of married women in Nigeria should be lying cold in their graves.Men that cheat alot if a woman should do it is always a painful pill to swallow.Watch war room and forgive him if you can
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteHmm. It not good for a man or woman to be alone. Most times we sacrifice our relationships on the altar of our finances/ careers. Both of you should see a relationship expert for counselling. Forgive her not for her but for you. Your wife is not a good cheat I must tell you. A good and unrepentant one wont blurt out everything at the slightest opportunity to make a confess. A good one will deny even if you play a video recording of the act.
ReplyDeleteForgive her and start afresh with her. Like you two just married. Think about the good times you've had. Remember the sacrifices she may have made for you in the past. Forgiveness is not easy, but it is very possible.
I pray God visits your home and heals your marriage In Jesus Name, Amen.
Poster to err is human, to forgive divine.
ReplyDeleteSince she has sincerely apologized please try to forgive and forget.
It is hard but give her another chance. It takes a lot of courage for someone to admit that he/she did something wrong.
Also, try and create time for your family. During the weekends that you are always around at home, try and have fun with them.
You can go on vacation with your wife and have a good time with her.
Also put your family 1st before work. Women need men who can pamper and carry them like egg.
Biko don't listen to that voice telling you to commit suicide.
Poster, please listen to Chike. Weldone dear.
DeleteThank you!
DeleteSociety has made you men to believe that women sleep with men only for money. Im referring to ur statement abt u having everything, and being comfortable. You gave her everything but time and attention. U forgot that she has emotional needs. Talking twice daily on phone is not it attimes. A woman needs to constantly see d 'boyfriend' in u. Not d 'husband' always. If u had a new love interest, how would u treat her? Thats what ur wife lacked.
ReplyDeleteI am not blaming you for what happened in ur home, she is an adult and is responsible for her actions. Please do not divorce her. She seems truly remorseful and wants to be pardoned. If u cheat on her, wouldn't you want her to forgive you? Consider your kids, the possibility of re-marrying someone who would mistreat them, or of them becoming 'wayward' in future cos they lacked d discipline that comes from having both parents train them together...
You might have to restructure your time and activities so that you will have more time for your family, u stated in your post that u dont spend much time with them and u regret it...
I can go on and on( I hope you understand what im talking about) but the major thing is forgiveness. You have to forgive your wife and try to take away the pain of her action. She's making efforts to please you, pls meet her halfway and also try to thrill her. With time, u will forget it, or maybe it will not be so painful when u remember it. I dont mean to do this, but thats how women feel wen their trusted spouse cheats also. Just that society quickly tells us to shush it n lick d man's ass, after all, 'she has no choice'.
My advise to you would be:
ReplyDelete1.Start afresh- What were those things that initially attracted you to Her, revive that.
2. Make out time- You agreed to the fact that you got too busy for the family at some point due to work/some personal development courses, cut down on work and spend time with them.
3. Take partial responsibility- Sir you also need to understand that you contributed to her being lonely, share the burden with her, allow the both of you heal together.
4.Revive your sex life- Take the kids to a trusted Friend/relative, take your wife out, both of you should spend the entire weekend together maybe in a Hotel, bring back memories of "the good old days", make Her want you again.
5. Prayers: Prayer can never be overrated sir, both of you should knee and pray for each other, ask God to take over your home, attend Church/Mosque together.
6. Share passwords- If you have to password your phone make sure she knows your password and vice versa.
Everything will be fine sir, don't allow the Devil use you to take your own life this is a phase. You'll be alright.
A man that stays in another city from his family is on temporary divorce.
DeletePls poster, look up to God and pray that God will give you reason to smile again. Talk to her and please do not commit suicide because God has not finished with you yet. Men cheat, women endured, please put yourself in her position. God will sustain and revive your marriage. See, the evil one has limited time hence he's using the little time he has to cause havoc in marriages. Embrace Jesus.
Try focus on the word of God and pray about it. Pour out ur heart to Jesus. He will heal you n ur marriage
ReplyDeleteYesterday and today's chronicle are for dreamers association. God really talks through dreams, people pay close attention to your dreams! It does save.
ReplyDeleteI dont support women cheating on their spouses mbok. You need space, seeing her around the house will keep pissing you up. Leave the house for some time. You need clarity of purpose at this time. The next few weeks is gonna be hard but you will scale through it. But i must warn you that a trust once broken most times cant be rebuilt. It will take time before things goes back to almost normal so dont force your sef to heal, healing will come naturally and slowly. forgiveness is key. You need to be able to forgive her before you can heal. wishing you well in your marriage. Sorry ehn
ReplyDeleteI think him leaving the house was what caused the cheating. He wasn't available emotionally, physically, he was only available materially.every woman loves attention. She loves him that is why she is truthful, told him and beg. If he decides to give space, things may go wrong. I am not justifying cheating but be there for your wife and kids.
DeletePoster let me tell you this story, a redeem pastor in the area where I live said many years ago he caught his wife and another man on their matrimonial bed. He was bitter, he was shattered. But he kept praying to God and the wife was just begging him to forgive. One day this man came back home and started parking his things ,including the wife's own. He took the wife into a new house and the started all over again.
ReplyDeleteHe found closure in the new apartment . Poster pray to God and travel with your wife. God will heal you. Remember she was good enough to admit that she cheated. The likes of me will deny it forever. lol
Torr poster u do hear? Don't renew your rent, move into a new apartment.
Deletei know why this seems difficult for him...women equate sex to love while me dont. its easier for a man to have sex with any woman without feeling anything for her and still love his wife, but not always so for the woman, if she has sex with a man most times it means she has deep feelings for the man. am sorry this happened to you sir but forgive her. this goes to show you guys what women pass through when you cheat on them.dont do anything irrational ask God to heal you, you guys will be fine again.
ReplyDeleteMen feel is ok to give a won a a home, a car n kids. They forget that women need to be shown love always. Is not okay for you to work, work n work always. Now all you have to do is forgive her. Pele for your pain
ReplyDeletePoster be a man and be strong.
ReplyDeleteladies cant be trusted in this generation.if you have cheated on her,forgive her but if you have not cheated on her..let her go.had it been you didnt question her,she wouldnt say a word.truth is,that marriage will never be the same.not easy for a guy to know his wife is cheating on him..even if u have so much money..it hurts the ego..let her go.since she feels she can cheat..let her go..she would learn from her experience better and advice other ladies well.
"If you are cheated on her forgive her if you have not let her"
DeleteThank God God is not man where do forgiveness come to play so it is do me I do you now ? Mtcheew Christian for mouth
Well done 'Mr. let her go'. He won't let her go, you unforgiving being.
DeleteWhat rubbish are you spewing? If you've nothing good to say, shut up. So men are the trusted ones abi? Radarada!
DeleteFrom your Chronicle, it is obvious that you love your Wife. As they say, Love Conquers all. You may feel eve worse if you make divorce that woman or separate from.
ReplyDeleteThe difference between here and there is T and T stands for Time. Time healeth all wounds.
i advise that you see a shrink too for counselling for your mental wellness since you are contemplating suicide.
finally, remember that shit happens, that we are all human and no man is perfect. no not one.
Women experience this everyday, if they contemplate suicide that means 80% of Nigerian women would be dead by now. What your wife did was very wrong but just find it in your heart to forgive her. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteThe bitter truth is that you were not available. Family first please. A woman loves attention. That moment you realize she stopped asking you questions about things is when you should have suspected. Be there for her, don't wait for her to beg for attention. Keep your home
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I know you and your wife have come a long way, she's only human and can make mistakes, have a heart to heart talk with your wife, tell her how disappointed you are, infact say all you have in your mind. You are probably feeling suicidal because you still have things bottled up in your mind. Also try and re ignite the spark in your marriage. May God give you wisdom.
ReplyDeleteIn a way I'm happy this is coming from a man. For a change....
ReplyDeleteOga if cheated women can forgive, you too can. Ask God to help you and leave it all in his hands.
Also check yourself for areas you might be lacking. Ask her what she saw in the guy that you weren't giving her. Maybe more time or warmer company. It's possible she was just tempted as body no be firewood and as you said your intimacy had started suffering as a result of your new job. Take it easy, grieve and pray to God to heal your marriage.
He will heal but he can't forget d image of her grinding n riding that guy, plus d one corner on d table! Just my humble observation.
DeleteI really pity you, why are you mocking the guy,I just hope karma doesn't come knocking at your door. When Men don't demand for virginity before marriage (except she is a divorcee or widow)you are indirectly going against God's law on Fornication, so you will have to deal with whatever comes your way because Fornication shows sexual weakness.
Delete@19:43 pity who? Some of you just line up here and write trash as if you don't know how to read.
DeletePoster you are good man, I see your wife as a good woman too....but the devil want to use her to cause confusion in your marriage. Please do find a place your heart to forgive 🙏 her.... Pray and move on.
ReplyDeleteOga am so sorry for what has happened. Pls i know it's not easy but with time I know u will heal. I want u to have this at d back of ur heart that if she was not remorse she won't have confess to doing it. Remember u didn't catch her red handed, every other person would have denied it. So plz forgive and forget for the sake of the children. Am sure she won't do it again. She only did it cos she was lonely, pls learn to spend time with her more OK. D Lord is your strength.
ReplyDeleteFor God to reveal this to you shows you are a true man of God loved by God..and God also knows you can handle the situation that's why he gave you the revelation. You'll gain nothing by using your emotions, ego as a man to destroy your investment in 10years...for the love of Christ and the innocence of your kids in this matter please find it in your heart to forgive her and may God heal the hurt and strengthen you/home.
ReplyDeleteFrom what you've written I can see you truly love your wife and it's quite unfortunate that she had to cheat on you.
ReplyDeleteYes, you have a demanding job that takes you away from your family but technology has made it easy for us to always communicate with love ones through various medium e.g Skype, video calling and the likes. Even if ur work will take you away for weeks always open the line of communication
You need to erase the suicidal thoughts that you are having and try to rebuild your home. Reignite your love and passion you once felt for each other and with time everything will fall into place
Pls do forgive her.
Oga, hold that woman well, she is a good woman and has conscience A hardened adulterer would not have confessed even if you drag her before angel. Gabriel. If you have cheated, take solace in that, if you have not, take it as a challenge on your marriage. To heal psychologically, both of you should pray and fast together, after which you annoit her body with olive oil for cleansing. God will heal your pain, all you need is time. Also, try to be more available to her.please never talk about it again after the cleansing. Many women cheat.
ReplyDeleteSorry sir your wife blackmailed you by using ur kids and her mum as a reason to keep her in that house.smart woman she knows you are a good man.but u know she wouldnt have told you if you didnt ask, maybe she thought you had evidence which is why she confessed,if not she for lock up.i bet she wont be able to tell that pastor any thing all na wash!Now if you can have her stay with you good if not let her go.
ReplyDeleteAsk God for help only Him can help you forgive and not keep record of the wrong done you. Do not discuss this with anyone no matter how close except to a trusted marriage counselor who will help you both navigate this bad turn in your marriage. Infidelity is not so easy to deal with it breaks trust and brings devastation into a family but you can rebuild the trust and together seal the broken edge. It is well with you sir.
ReplyDeleteSir please listen to me. Ask for a temporary separation. Take a break, just you. Don't come home on the weekends just be alone. If you prefer being alone then ask for a divorce. If you miss her and want to fix this then go back home. By the time you miss her, you'd stop thinking about what she did. Let me inform you that your marrriage can never be the same. It would always be lopsided, that is she would always be trying to make up for this and you'd always be expecting her too. She would get tired of trying to constantly please you and walking on egg shells and you get disappointed. It's a long road ahead if you choose to forgive because even forgiveness does not erase memories. Your wife should have thought of her mother and her kids before she cheated on you. Just a heads up, people like that don't easily stop. There would always be one reason or the other to cheat and in the heat of the moment she would always justify to herself why it is okay for her to cheat. That ex might come knocking after everything dies down. It's up to you but I can not imagine the pain you're in right now to know the life you have led has been based on trusting somebody who turned out to not be trusted. In the end it might be easier for you to divorce. This would change you and in advent change the marriage for worse most likely. I would keep you in my thought and hope you pull through. In the mean time, take a break from her and process your feelings and hurt.
ReplyDeleteThis is the worst a woman can do in marriage admit to cheating. C ur wife is truly sorry. Forgive her and watch her be the best wife ever. She will never ever repeat it. Like a poster said take ur time and let your forgiveness be total but if u can't forgive her completely please let her go.
ReplyDeleteYour feelings are normal. Not blaming you but the gap in communication and intimacy led to this somehow.
ReplyDeleteForgive her. Take time off from work. See a counselor together and work on the healing process.
Poster.....you're the head of the family, show leadership by forgiving her. It's not easy but you can do it by God's grace....
ReplyDeleteJust too painful Bro! Pls can you forgive her with the Agape love of Christ, Read the scriptures it will help you a lot 1Peter4:8, Proverbs 10:12, 1CORINTHIANS 13:1-13. Also pray and ask the holy spirit to comfort you because He's the one that revealed the hiding secret to you. God bless you bro. Pls NOTE:(1) God hates divorce so, don't ever think about it. (1) don't ever tell your both Parents, siblings you are closed with about or even your close friends too. about your home
ReplyDeleteI'm bewildered by the comments have gone through. A man is at fault when a woman cheats but when a man cheats, it's because he is naturally evil despite what the woman has done to please him.
ReplyDeleteUncle, don't accept blame for your wife's action. Women naturally blame men for their failures so ignore the comments that are heaping the blame on you. Right now, you must take actions that will lead to your personal healing. Only that will eventually heal the marriage. Love yourself right now and do whatever it takes to come out better and stronger. At the end of it all, you have the right to continue or end the union. Don't comtinue the marriage because of blackmail, public opinion or the children. You can successfully co-parent the children. You only have one life to live, don't stay in a marriage for other people but yourself. You got married for yourself and you can also leave for yourself.
Dear Poster, you came here because you know the right thing to do. Stella said it all however, takeout the kids, her mother and your wife from this equation. Stand before your God now and ask Him what He expects from you. When Mary Magdalene was about to be stoned for adultery, the Lord knew what she had done. He knew everything but He took His time to respond. I am sure you remember what He said. That would be a good example for you to follow. Painful as it is. Sucidal is from the devil. Unforgiveness is also from the devil and this can barr you from entering heaven. God gave you that home and you are the head. Take one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Trust the God in her that she will never do it again and believe in her again. Keep your home and love her through God's eyes. I pray wisdom and strength is given you and that you put away worldly counsel that the enemy has set as a trap for your marriage. Stay strong and on her behalf we say sorry. Please forgive her.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you.
It seems you have a strong relationship with God. Pray to God to give you the strength and power to forgive. We offend God and He forgives us so please forgive her think about your children, do it for them. We woman sacrifice dor our kids pls pls do the same.
ReplyDeletePast experience leads me to believe that cheating is not a mistake. To actually have sexual intercourse with someone else takes a determined effort, a lot of people have come close to cheating but after kissing and making out(though that is also cheating) they come to their senses. To actually go as far as sexual intercourse means its no mistake.
ReplyDeleteSo I personally don't agree you should forgive anyone that cheats on you, be it husband or wife. That person went out of their way to make a mockery of you and your relationship. You will always remember the hurt when you look at the person, and you will always doubt the persons motives.
This woman was bold enough to tell you the truth and I know at some point you must have been unfaithful too. FORGIVE HER!!!! This life is simple , she was bored and you were not there for her makeup for your relationship, spend more time with her, mend the cracked walls between the two of you. Find closure in building a good relationship between you two
ReplyDeleteI know men who decide to forgive always want to keep things like this under wrap. Please try to go for counselling . Trust is definitely broken and coming from that place I know it’s haes you would read meanings in to every little thing? You would doubt all the things big or small you once believed years ago. However hope isn’t lost , if you both seek counselling and talk about things , don’t sweep under the carpet , she would also need to help you build trust in her again . I wish you the best
ReplyDeleteGod heals!
ReplyDeleteHe can take the hurt away.
Acknowledge your part in the matter, it'll help. Absence and weak levels of intimacy can reduce some people's threshold in the face of temptation.
The pain from betrayal can be numbing but God can take it away. He loves you and forgives you always in spite of the many wrongs you may have done. Ask for His strength totally forgive and forget. That is where your healing lies.
Yo have a good heart.
Are all this comments coming out from a married woman or from single ladies?
ReplyDeletecos if all those comments are from married woman,then my people marriage
is not for nigerian woman,,that was the reasons of everyday divorce,,
,some guys has being sleeping with every kinds of girls when mention marriage
to her,,all they want are that name marriage nothin else,,
even if a spirit ask a nigerian girl to marry him she will marry without knowing
where the man spirit come from and family village too,,
,,,oga,,its pains cos you find out urself that she was cheating on me,,
maybe if she has told you by herself its could have been so easy for you to forgive
her,,and she knows about children and cares about her children and went ahead to
cheat and use such hand to cook for her children its evil and wickedness of her,,,
but for the sake of GOD who revealed such act to you and becos of the devil you
knew and for her remorse and her sincere sorry to you,please forgive her and
warned her with ur eyes wides open,,,ask her to tell you what u are not doing
right and change from it,,,,
cos as you can see must of those comments above,are such ladies with such
comments are the kind of woman you will wish to marry and divorcing the devil
you know?and as she has repented?,,use this cheat for ur advantage cos she already
knew you will find out any of her secret in future,,forgive and love her back,,
and use those things that u are not doing right to heal urself fast,,its works,,
remember,,,the devil you know,,,,shallom
It is never easy for men to deal and forgive cheating but women are compelled to do so every day. Please take the blow and roll over she really loves you. If you no catch me proof it beyond reasonable doubt . I deny die
ReplyDeleteBefore anything else
ReplyDeleteDo a DNA test on all your kids. Take her for STD test and pregnancy test.
That's all
I wonder why you men don't travel with your wives when you have training. Your parents can stay with the kids those period. You have free hotel room, it is opportunity to bond with your wife but No, you prefer to go alone. What do you think women are made of? They don't have feelings. What is your classification of a good woman? Because she wears no makeup, only wears long skirt and seems dedicated to the children...I hear. Once you marry a woman like that, you feel you have won lottery. It is opportunity for you to cheat because your wife will never do same but you don't know such women are #ogbologbo.
You neglected your wife.
I was listening to a man of God and he said, it is not every open door that is for you. Some women pray their husband to be so rich, the man gets a job outside the state they reside in and is earning millions, she agrees for him to go, next minute the marriage is broken. Stop helping God.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Poster you are a good man, I know is very difficult for a man to forgive but for the fact that your wife has confess her sin, she is repentant of her sin if you can forgive her please ask the holt spirit to help you and do do. You need some time to heal off, is not easy at all. You ate also human, the tot will keep ringing in your head daily and the trust is dead between you two. Your wife's own is better compare to what my husband did to me,mine brings girls to our matrimonial home, when am in the office Oga is at home enjoying himself, with the food I cooked, I clean the house, wash your boxers yet you did not fear God to cheat on me, all my compound people knows about his cheating yet no body said anything to me, Oga Stave me of sex, no romance, his money I don't see it, no love, he doesn't touch me when am on my fertile windows, he finally move out of the house himself without any fight
ReplyDeleteLord I thank you cos you have given me second chance to make another choice of my life.i cannot forgive him no matter what, he mocked me, spit on my face, Oga if you can please do but don't use it against her in future.
Hehehehe madam you too funny ooo,,you will not forgive and you are asking
Deletesomeone to forgive?,,i understand ur pains but you will heal faster when
you forgive before moving on,,,is not easy though,,,maybe he move out cos
ur work dont give u time with him for him to be bringing girls at ur home,
Sir, there is a big error in your statement. You like many men think your money will keep a woman. It never has and it never will. There is something missing at home and it is true communication and intimacy. She lacks discipline and the fact that she could not tell you that she needed you more is probably because both of you do not have a good relationship. She is godly is the typical thing you men say about a woman. What else is there about her? What else aside from raising your kids and serving your meals? She messed up big time and since you want to forgive, work on your marriage with her. She needs to earn your trust and you both need to learn to communicate. Many African men today have wives who follow their exes because those men talk to them, and take interest in them. The number of wives having emotional and physical affairs will shock the devil. Not to blame men though. If you want to heal...GIVE YOURSELF TIME. That is all I can tell you. Do not go talking to any of these over zealous preachers who will only help you push the woman further away from you.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I am a woman, married for 10 years with 3 children. I love my husband dearly and I know he loves me too. He provides adequately for us. I have cheated on my husband and am not proud of it. Just after our wedding I noticed my husband's emotional absence, this has plagued my home. Just like you, my hubby feels money is everything. Wives need emotional support, constant compliments and affection. Your job is very important so also your marriage, finding the balance is the issue. My hubby does not see the importance of proper communication, I cheated because someone else was emotionally available, someone I could talk to and laugh with. Please forgive your wife, give yourself time to heal don't rush it. Read books that will teach you about dating your spouse even after marriage. You can live in another state but how many times do u call her in a day? The bitter truth is you where not emotionally present. God will heal you.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster. Please forgive her. She definitely wants the marriage. I believe she is sorry. However talk with her. Come to an agreement for a way forward. Before you resume sex with her,let her do sexually transmitted diseases and infections test
ReplyDeleteYour wife is a better woman than I because I would never had confessed to anything. I guess she was feeling rotten on the inside since she did it. She sounded completely repentant and now you both have an opportunity to fix your marriage with a certified and licensed marriage counselor. Please go for marriage counseling. You also need to be on the same page. Sometimes married ppl end up living separate lives. It is always important to have a check in to make sure you are both on the same page and both party feel fulfilled in the marriage. Not everyday church or mosque, sometimes a date, movies and dinner, dinner and dancing. Sometimes a little weekend getaway just the two of you. Some of you make life take over too much and neglect what is important. There are things to do at every price point. If you can't afford dinner date, then just an ice cream cone outing can happen. Free evening at the museum, free movie night somewhere. But dating should never stop in a marriage, couples need to always have quality time alone. The marriage is always the primary relationship and should never be placed on the back burner. The Queen deserves her full worship just like the King does. Let us start putting the magic back in marriage, the bills will always be there, so will the demands of life, but no marriage should suffer because of these things. A deep kiss can always be given each night before bed, a deep hug can be given each morning you wake up together, these actions are completely free and every couple can do this to each other no matter their economics.
ReplyDeleteI have seen your comments and I appreciate you all. Thank you.
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