Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmmm...

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...

A NARRATIVE TO LEARN FROM....

OK , I don't know where to post this, maybe chronicle or ihn gist.It is the story of my life,used to say I will take it to my grave but on a 2nd thought,someone can learn one or two things.

I am 30yrs old. My father isn't the type that likes to spend his money,he prefers to store it up the bank. My mother did the best she could while we where growing up. He never gave us money for clothes and other stuffs he sees as not necessary, except you had to tell some sort of lies to get the money from him, unfortunately I wasn't good at telling such lies so I managed the little I had.

I had my first boyfriend in 100L but lasted only 3months,had s3x with him twice.

I moved over to 200l, had a new boyfriend who dealt with me emotionally, I later got over him and moved on.l

Then in 300l, I had a boyfriend(he returned from UK after masters), his name should promise and fail, so much talk and less action, the only action was on the bed. But I was in love with him, he managed to do some few special things for me though, but not as I expected, before I knew it I already had aborted 2 pregnancies in this relationship, so many things I never imagined could ever happen to me was just happening, I was helpless,believing he will marry me,but it never happened ( I thank God for that o,cos I wouldn't want to be in his wives shoes presently).


It was time for 6months student industrial training and I was excited to leave school environment ,hoping to get a new boo. I met another guy after rejecting some,I felt I have arrived, he ticked some boxes for me. I got the shock again when I found out I was pregnant,I didn't know how it happened because I always insisted on using condoms, (I promised God I would never have an abortion), same time I got to know he was a yahoo boy and had another girlfriend,once I told him I was pregnant, he said I should keep it,but the other girl was threatening my life, she always used his phone to call and abuse me, he would later apologise and I said to myself this isn't what I want to be doing my whole life, I told one aunt my predicament and we decided to have an abortion.

 This boy was no where to be found, he disappeared, no sort of support emotionally/financially, I had a successful procedure, but I was emotionally low, I thought I would die of shedding tears, I couldn't sleep. Finally IT ended, I didn't date anybody, but had some flings. It was then it dawned on me that nobody was ever going to provide for me like I would love or like my parents never did. Because I always had this mindset that if I dated someone who was financially well I could get what I wanted but I found out I was wrong. 

I finished school, went for youth service, met some men, but I couldn't fall in love with anybody, I was just after fun,had lots of fun ( dated two married men, they were really nice persons) so no pregnancy stories any more,I was very careful this time. But unfortunately I met another single guy ,I thought he was in love with me, we started dating and b4 you know pregnancy has happened,this guy just went blank on me just after he heard the pregnancy news,he came up with stories about a fiancé somewhere and that was all I heard from him last.

 I died multiple times thinking this has happened to me again.

 I was totally broken, I thought of keeping the pregnancy but how can I explain that the person responsible is no where to be found? I confided in a male friend,nice guy,he has been asking me out,I didn't want to date him because I'm simply not a fan of dating people I see as friends. He helped me get a doctor friend and we both combined money and the pregnancy was gone.

This friend that helped me was there for me,and one thing led to another we were having s3x and all that, he even begged me to be serious with him but I felt I was not good enough for him and I let him go. He is now married.

 After him I just made a review of my life and found out that I have been letting the good guys go,he wasn't the only one, one really got to me badly, a family friend, I let him go because of some flimsy excuses about his character. I also noticed a pattern which is that I usually had flings with these nice guys before letting them go, and I never take them serious only for me to go to people that end up breaking my heart, and these good guys never get over me,they still care and call, want to still be in my life,(so tempting right?) but I always find a way not to meet up with them because I don't ever want to sleep with a married man again.


I tried dating again but the said man isn't a serious person, always about his job and not caring about any serious commitment, we barely see(well I like it that we don't see often), it helps me focus.I haven't been able to meet any reasonable man for now, plus its really hard for me as I'm not gainfully employed @ the moment,sometimes I feel God is just punishing me ,but my family is planning to set me up with something since I'm the only unemployed in my house. It has been rough all these years as long as I can remember.l feel its because of want of material things and wrong judgement that made me make so many mistakes I remain positive about life, of all these things that I have been through, I never thought of taking my life,so it baffles me when I hear of people committing suicide.

I know some people will call me gwegs or whatever but it doesn't count for me . Instead I have this to say,never expect so much from people, don't live your life thinking another will give you what you couldn't being celibate, not that people are not showing interest, but I don't want to date just anyhow,I have had enough for now.


Thank God we don't look like what we have been through, mum still thinks I'm her innocent baby girl. Girls/Ladies cover your legs, men are scum until proven not to be.