Marriage Diaries...

We want to share what some women/men go through in marriages but can't share with people around them...

Whatever it is,you are not alone!

STATUS - Married housewife with a baby. 

I am taking you through some marriage hassles I had during the week. Please ride with me and your feedback is very necessary.

My baby needed new clothes because she has outgrown the current ones plus she needed church and party wears.
So I told hubby and we decided to go for the mini shopping. But due to past experiences, I knew hubby was not going to give me the money. I knew we were going together.

Hubby is not stingy but he likes to pokenose. Lol

I know some might say that's caring or romantic. Well, it was supposed to be until hubby started exhibiting his manliness, dominance and I know it all attitude. I am not perfect but please allow me to vent. A Man should NEVER be petty. 

There is a clothing outlet where hubby likes. Its sort of expensive and the clothes have a lot of replica that you might see a lot of Tom, Dick and Harry wearing.

However, I believe that we could have gone to the popular Balogun market and get better trendy cloths and quality at less prices.
Another option was to also get first grade wears. They are as good as new and very unique too. But hubby will never agree. He says our child must wear new cloths.

So as a submissive wife and penniless one at that, I let dear hubby have his way.
I have a good idea but no money but in Nigeria, an idea without money backing it is void(Abi. I lie?).
With what hubby earns, we cannot afford to shop all the time for our child. We can only do that when it is HIGHLY NECESSARY. 

We started to pick clothes ( both of us).As a lady who understands some things about fabrics, I know I should not pick nylon material or some particular type of fabrics for her because of discomfort and heat.
You know some materials prick the skin for children of her age. We also attend a church that is just growing that has little or no ventilation. All these I explained to hubby.

Another thing I put into consideration is colours and designs of the shoes, sneakers and sandals she has at home. I wanted to pick cloths that can match with them so that she can rock it together as we were not getting any new feet wears.

I also want you to note that hubby is in no way a fashion person. He cannot match colours and don't know what goes on what.
His own idea of clothing in is "I just want to cover my nakedness". But I am the opposite. I am not a fashionista. But at least fashion conscious and I dey try,(Allow me to put on some shoulder pad.lol).

Our child does not have much clothings but with my packaging and combination, you will think her wardrope is huge and our bank accounts fat.
He picked fabrics I didn't agree with because of the reasons I mentioned earlier. But I stood my ground. I could bulge for myself but not my daughter. No way! She must have the best with whatever we can afford.
So I went on to choose some stuffs. In other to be fair I picked one of the cloths he picked and added to our basket.

Our budget was Ten thousand naira. While the cashier was calculating, fortunately, she calculated my own choices first. The total was 8,500 naira. She went ahead to add the gown he chose. The balance rose to 11,800.
So I consulted him that what do we do. He said we are sticking to our budget.
Remember I didn't like the dress so I gladly dropped it.

Please note that he sat in a corner a bit far from the cashier. I had to inform him to come and see and later call him again to come and pay.
All the while Oga was fuming, he didn't say it but I knew. I no send. Though I played safe by chatting and all that.
We had 1500 left so went inside the Balogun market to buy socks and if possible sandal(even if na rubber).

That's when Oga displayed another attitude o. He will stay a bit far away from me. I will do the pricing hassles and call out to hubby in Loud tone to come and pay.
Hubby will come and ask me like two times how much he is paying, before he will dip his hands into his pockets and pay.

I am very sure Hubby heard me the first time. But in other to display his egocentric nature and "I am in charge attitude" he chose to do that. (Am I over reacting?)
I found it embarrassing. He could have given me the money and let me pay. He is indirectly telling everyone that I am not earning presently (that's how am seeing it. Or am I the proud one?).

When we got home and we both cooled off, I told him how I felt.
That was when oga exploded o. Well he didn't agree with me and I didn't agree with him either. And No we didn't quarrel.But we were both not happy with each others behaviour.

He saw it from the perspective of I didn't like anything he picked.
But really,who was wrong?
For those who will say I should also work. Am presently undergoing training and by His Grace will be starting something soon and will be adding petty trading when we have the capital.


PS...
I know this situation is avoidable if I have my own money. I will have gone to the market to buy it. The time is coming when this sorts of petty something will stop. ......