Post natal depression can tear your world apart if you do not realise what is happening to you......It is horrible!!!
They called me a bad mother 
After Boobman was born I struggled to find my Happy. At the same time, I had to act happy because who isn’t happy after birthing a child?
I carried on everyday reminding myself that as a mother my happiness came second. I needed to be there for my child. I needed to love him, care for him, take care of him etc.
As he grew, I felt myself sink deeper into the hole that sat in my core. And I couldn’t express this. I remember the day the health visitor came to check on us. She asked, “have you had any unpleasant thoughts concerning your baby?”
“No, I have been so happy since he arrived.” I lied.
She asked a few more questions, checked his height, head size, weight, and was done.
As she left, I wondered if I should call her back and tell her about that night he wouldn’t sleep and I needed sleep, and as I breastfed him, I imagined what would happen if I threw him against the wall. Perhaps I’d be free from this little bondage that seemed to be running my life. But I didn’t. I feared they would think me crazy. Some who knew me already thought me crazy. Sigh. I let her go. I returned to getting by one day at a time.
The day he turned 6 months, I decided I was going to run away. Because he was breastfeeding and I didn’t have any money I stuck around. At 9 months and three weeks, I had saved a little money so I weaned him one Friday, cold turkey style. Nobody knew I was weaning him. By the next day, he had forgotten breast. I was left with swollen painful breasts but I felt it was worth it because finally nothing was tying him to me.
On the 1st of November 2015, a week before he turned 10 months, I took him to my mum’s along with a new nanny I had gotten a week earlier. I told my mum I had a spa date and would be back for him in 2 hours.
As I left the house, I headed to the airport, bought a one way ticket to Lagos and left Abuja, Boobman, and motherhood behind. I sent text messages to my family that I was gone and not coming back.
They tried to reach me by email. I was told that I abandoned my child and I was a bad mother. It was true. They were right. I had already concluded to myself that I was a bad mother long before anyone else told me so. I wasn’t going to mother, I wanted to feel alive. I wanted to feel I mattered too. I wanted to feel, period.
I didn’t want to hurt my baby. I wasn’t sure how long I would have lasted before I snapped. Leaving was the only option. I wasn’t going to come back.
A few months later we were reunited. I was told to apologize to him for leaving him. What they didn’t know was for the months I planned my leaving, he was aware. I told him every time I breastfed him that I was sorry I had to go away without him. I told him the times I was sad. I told him the times I felt lost and empty. And the night before that November 1st, I shed a tear as I told him I was leaving the next day.
I still remember my final thought before I left. I said to myself, “if I die now, this child will survive and even thrive.” At that, my mind made itself up.
I know we like to think a mother should sacrifice herself for her babies but sometimes mother wants to run away and leave everything behind. This usually starts and ends as a thought or wishful thinking for most new mothers. For me, it was the only way to live. So I took the leap.
#diaryoftheboobmum #badmother
This babe hasn't fully recovered from what d general overseer of COZA did to her!
ReplyDeleteHe damaged her psyche.
Chai....
It shall be well.
Can't say what is wrong but it seems this lady isn't really okay.
DeleteShe just craves attention so badly.
DeletePostpartum depression is real but abandon a 9month old baby?
Na wa...She writes nonsense everyday. I pray for her total recovery.
DeleteAre you sure , may be you should ask those who knew her before the saga you are referring to .
DeleteI knew something must have triggered the post nantal depression. Its doesn't just happen.. May God set her free.
DeleteAmen o.
DeletePost nantal depression is also common in single mothers who feels abandoned or uncared for.
DeletePost natal depression is real. May God save us from these weird things oh. Where was her husband in all of these tho?
DeleteFinally someone gets to talk about this. My child is almost five and I still suffer PND. Maybe because I'm a single mother but it's so exasperating I don't have a life anymore. If I wasn't strong willed I would have put him up for adoption. God help me
DeleteIt has nothing to do wit benny ark! A sick mind do not operate wiv logic and reason! I think benny has done his best. Dont wanna spill d beans
Delete@Blackberry, Blog PA and cynhamcakes you people are the reason people don't come out to share anything about their struggles whether mental or sexual.
DeleteWhat has her past with Coza pastor have to do with PTSD.
Women of all colours go through it everyday yet she is not alright because she once shared her personal experience about someone she termed an abuser.
Let us read and comment with appropriately this 2018 in a way that encourages people to share their struggles and not die silently with it.
We are all women and I hope that when you eventually share your struggles in other to educate people on them your past isnt used to check your mental stability.
LEP😛
For all those mums going through postnatal depression especially those living abroad and dont have anyone to help them out, just hold on a little more and before you know it, you will overcome it.
DeleteSearch for Children Centres near or close to where you live and attend baby programmes. You will meet mums going through the same thing and the more you go for baby programmes and share your stories of what ure going through with other mums the better you will be.
I went through PND with my first child and my MIL even made life unbearable for me but God saw me through. I have had other children and it becomes easy after the first one.
PND is one of the worst things a new mum can go through because we are not prepared for the stress or do i say challenges that comes with child birth.
Only that i dont understand how the lady ran away for months and left her child?? 😎.
Wishing everyone going through PND goodluck and please hang in there for your babies, go out with friends at any opportunity you have if you find anyone to help babysit the baby. 😘😘😘😘
LEP thank you
DeleteLep well said..but wait o,After I suffer carry pikin 9months, push am ( bw life and death) I go come dey get suicidal thots? Hianu, not in my case oooooo. My Oguguamakwa? Obim? My body my soul my heartbeat? Ifemyoruchukwu?Oooooh kwa, biko isi na o bu PNA or what?I reject it for every Mum IJN. pls I breathe and live my child biko. I remb one night I was so tired, hubby was in 9ja me alone inside cold I hate, I was tired like tired, I hold pikin dey sleep, breast out,her cry alone jolted me back to reality, I told God pls, give me d power to do it. And fiam! My powers came back. Biko nothing pass prayers nnem, prayer prayer prayer, don't ever get tired of it.
DeleteThat it was easy for you doesn’t mean anything. My first is 6 yrs and I still have it!! I feel like the more I try to kick it the farther I fall.
DeleteI went through Postnatal depression with my first child even though i would never have left my cutie for one day but i dont know what her situation was? Child services would have even taken my child away if i tried that 🤷😩.
DeleteTo all mothers going through PND, look for new mums around you so you can share experiences, at every opportunity you get help; relax, go out for few hours alone with friends if you get a reliable person "close friends or family" to babysit for you.
PND depression is VERY real, especially those of us living in the abroad: "you just think ure loosing it" i used to cry a lot with my first child, i became miserable, looked like a dry fish but thank God for my patient and loving husband who would take baby off me when hes back from work "9-5pm". Can you imagine what single mums who dont have anyone to help them go through?.
Please speak out to reliable people, PND is REAL and mums please ignore or avoid those friends or people around that know it all and make you feel ure not a good mum or doing things the right way, babies dont come with MANUAL: you learn each day and always tell yourself you're the best mum.
May we enjoy the fruit of our labor in JESUS name.
Post natal depression aside, this Ese is a very troubled soul
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't seem alright at all and everytime she shares something, it's always bad bad things
I pray you get help, Ese.
When you give birth and you don't have good support from people around you, trust me you will almost snap and slip into depression.
DeleteThe lack of sleep is enough to drive one insane.
At some point, I was almost asking my mother in law why she was in my house. I was very sick, down with cough and catarrh to the extent that i infected my 6 weeks old baby, I had a Csection , my blood pressure was high, my mother in law who claimed she was coming for omugwo will sleep till 10am, she wasn't helpful at all.
Though I never wished my baby dead or felt like smashing him on the wall but I wasn't happy that i could not do a lot of things ago.
Ese you tried sha, you walked away from your baby for months? hmmm I can not leave my baby for a day self despite all the stress. When i am upset and stressed , his smile and baby talk cheers me up.
I totally agree with you.
DeleteAmen ! Truly troubled soul thought since she said no more God she will be better but alas #sighs . The man de try may be their town crier freeze can counsel her
DeleteEse is sick, very sick.
DeleteI went through Postnatal depression with my first child but i wouldn't have left hee for a day. I looked like a dry bone, sleep deprivation na war, baby crying, changing nappies, feeding at intervals, breastfeeding with sore nipples can make one run mad.
DeleteI live abroad and dint have anyone to help me, MIL made my life unbearable for me. Wouldn't wish my enemies what my inlaws did to me but i have had other children and i did it all with joy. After the first: you dont get stressed like the first one.
New mums abroad, please look for children centres near you. You will meet other mums going through similar situations and when you talk it eases the pain.
Good luck
I went through Postnatal depression with my first child but i wouldn't have left hee for a day. I looked like a dry bone, sleep deprivation na war, baby crying, changing nappies, feeding at intervals, breastfeeding with sore nipples can make one run mad.
DeleteI live abroad and dint have anyone to help me, MIL made my life unbearable for me. Wouldn't wish my enemies what my inlaws did to me but i have had other children and i did it all with joy. After the first: you dont get stressed like the first one.
New mums abroad, please look for children centres near you. You will meet other mums going through similar situations and when you talk it eases the pain.
Good luck
I remember when we went to church 7days after my baby, I was so tired and sleepy, my boobs were engorged and all. My sister in law and a family friend asked me if I was okay, and I just burst out crying. Our friend held me and asked me to be strong. She bathe and massaged me with hot water, and I felt better. I'm sure if I didn't have a hubby as supportive as mine, who was with me every single step of the way, who still wakes up with me when I get up to BF at night, I would've had PND. I pray every lady going through PND, finds the help they deserve. Motherhood is beautiful, every woman deserves to go through it.
DeleteAnd Pastor Fatoyinbo is yet to give us the robust response.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have one inch of common sense at all😈😈😈😈
DeleteLEP😛
When I had my first child, I was so happy and I loved him so much, but months later one devilish innermind will tell me to harm him,i will rebuke the thought and pray immediately.
ReplyDeleteAnd I could not tell anyone not even my mum, but it never happened to me when I had my 2nd baby.
Thank God I am an overcomer
I'm not a mother yet but motherhood ain't easy. This is one of the many things our mothers wont tell us. God bless all mothers and baby dust to our ttc sister's may this year not pass you by
ReplyDeleteA woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. John 16:21
ReplyDeleteThis is what God says in the manual of life concerning child birth and the aftermath. If the opposite happens, the adversary had come in and someone opened "the doors" for him. Please ladies, look into your lives and know the things to correct, repent of or relationships to mend before embarking on pregnancy. Permit me to mention a few things I know from "experience and scriptures"; sexual immorality, abortions (Prov. 6:10-16, Gen. 9:6,Matt. 26:52), unforgiveness, cultism/covenants with devils (Psalm 16:4), etc.
Please you mustn't agree with this. And please I know the medical aspect of it too . . . but know that if the mad man of the Gadarene had gone to a hospital, the doctors would have diagnosed "severe schizophrenia" and referred him to the psychiatrists. The woman with the issue of blood could have been diagnosed with "uterine malignancy" etc.
God bless you
Delete@ANONYMOUS ORUBEBE
Load of bulshit , you must be high.
DeleteMinister of abortion! U dey try o lol!
Delete@anonymous 15:17
DeleteI did not read "b-word" there. You must not like it or comment. If you don't have opinion, scroll past.
God bless you...
DeleteBut in the case where you laid out the supposed causes, I may not agree a hundred percent. There is more to that. It may just be a case of leaving a door open either ignorantly or willingly.
DeleteWhat nonsense are you talking? Wake up to reality. Not everything is manipulated by the occult or spirits. Post partum depression is very real and people deal with it differently. It's better she left and sorted herself out then harm that child. If u haven't walked her walk shat ap.
Delete@lovetoloveu
DeleteYou can make your points without insults. Which one dey pain you like utari; the abortions or fornication or unforgiveness or mamaiwota cult? Abegi make you tell us.
Why are people so insensitive, i dont know much about the lady cos av always never been interested in her story with that Pastor but comon women go through Postnatal depression.
DeleteI went through it with my first child even though i would never have left my cutie for one day but i dont know what her situation was. Child services would have even take my child away if i tried that 🤷😩.
To all mothers going through PND, look for new mums around you so you can share experiences, at every opportunity you get help; relax, go out for few hours alone with friends if you get a reliable person "close friends or family" to babysit for you.
PND depression is VERY real, especially those of us living in the abroad: "you just think ure loosing it" i used to cry a lot with my first child, i became miserable, looked like a dry fish but thank God for my patient and loving husband who would take baby off me when hes back from work "9-5". Can you imagine what single mums who dont have anyone to help them go through?.
Please speak out to reliable people, PND is REAL and mums ignore or avoid those friends or people around that know it all and make you feel ure not a good mum or doing things the right way, babies dont come with MANUAL: you learn each day and always tell yourself you're the best mum.
May we enjoy the fruit of our labor in JESUS name.
@Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA,till date never give us ROBUST reply...There is God
ReplyDelete@Ese,I thank God for your life PPD is real....Lord have mercy...The same thing happened to @Miss Petite
@ANONYMOUS ORUBEBE
Mumu, be waiting for Robust Reply.
Delete...and oh yes my wife still thinks this way. I provide for the family and also take care of the children (as in bath, feed, nutures them infact). I pray i don't collapse someday i just pray. She does'nt care if heaven fallsssssss...
ReplyDeleteAbeg which kind name be boobman? Still don't understand this whole post natal depression thing. I have so many questions
ReplyDelete1. Is this not the same girl that was involved with that coza pastor?
2. What about her husband?
3. What did the innocent child do to her?
Abegi she's just seeking attention.
Husband's,please you guys should support your wives...These things no easy..From this her write up,where her husband role there sef?
ReplyDeleteMen don't leave it for your wife alone..support her....I think this same thing made @Tonto to suffer acute depression and her husband @Mr church thought she was crazy,before Dem know,marriage Don pack up....Thank God they are rebuilding it for the sake of @Andrea.
@ANONYMOUS ORUBEBE
She was messed up before she met the COZA guy and she just became more messed after that experience. I think she still needs deliverance from whatever demons are inside her. Poor girl.
ReplyDeleteWow!!! For me who many call 'nne oha', i have never thought of harming or abandoning my children. Yes motherhood can be very challenging, stressful and sometimes annoying, but that will never make me want to leave my kids. A single day without them is like I've lost something precious. I really don't blame ese though, chic seems to have alot of issues, but then I've heard so much about pmd and its really scary.
ReplyDeleteEse needs help,psychologically and mentally,I understand a little bit of what she might be going through,she's yet to get justice from what Coza pastor did to her,and she must be thinking God is yet to punish pastor biodun,things seem seemigly well with pastor Coza,from this writeup, I strongly doubt that Ese is still with her hubby,it's well my darli my,keep writing it's therapeutic,and I pray you find the happiness that you seek..
ReplyDeleteMy dear they are still very much together and going stronger with two kids! You can check her out on fb. She’s also a published writer who loves to share her experiences. So the write up isn’t about seeking happiness buh creating awareness and passing a message about PND.
DeleteHi Ese! Aka Virus
DeleteEse is very happy and yes she is still with her hubby and has a 2nd baby too.
DeletePls leave Pastor Biodun of Coza alone.
@anon 18:13 you must be silly to think I’m Ese. If i was Ese you think i would have time educating thwarts like you who shame people for sharing personal experiences? Anyway, we will have that conversation after you must have acquired your blog ID.
DeleteI love your response @ virus detected 👍👍👍🤛👊👌 but don't come and infect me oooo 😂 😂 😂
DeleteThis lady' s psyche is so messed up, dunno if it has to do with her coza experience or not.
ReplyDeleteI pray you heal completely Ese.
Yes, PPD is real , but it might be triggered or made worse by some underlining factors.
Post natal depression is getting so deep and serious
ReplyDeleteEmeh of miss petite wrote she experience same
What I am confused about is why they can't share their ordeal with their partners?
And don't their husbands notice their withdrawal?
How do others overcome this and come to love their child?
They married for the wrong reasons and probably don’t see their husbands as people they love and trust.
DeleteHer life is an open book, and perhaps in sharing she can help others who do not want to talk about their struggles in life. Her message is not for me, but hopefully someone going through this same thing can find courage and hope through her story and know that they will make it.
ReplyDeletePsalm 16:4 4 Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
ReplyDeleteI will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
or take up their names on my lips.
When someone left Christ and went to Buddha, what were you expecting? i understand that according to her, "pastors" put stumbling blocks on her way but she has got to come back to Christ and stop trusting pastors but Christ.
Maybe she was never with Christ.
DeletePerhaps you should both act as Christ would and pray for Ese’s return to the Christian faith. You both sound judgmental which is definitely not Christlike behaviour.
DeleteOnce someone quotes the word of God, you tag it judgmental. Make I quote my own join;
Delete1 Cor. 5:12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”[d]
I have never felt that way about my babies.... Seeing them crying in baby is a thing of joy to me
ReplyDeleteBad mother indeed. I can never ever hurt my child
ReplyDeleteshe is right in some way it took me time to bond with all my kids I never experienced the love at first sight kind of feeling with dem,the first few month is always filled with different emotions. but I never feel like hurting or harming my kids but I just keep asking my self if I will be a good mum,if I can cope very well with taking care of the child,my self and hubby but with time I just stop thinking about it and tell God to take care of everything for me.like Stella will always say it has a lot to do with individual mindset.most things you think about always come to reality
ReplyDeleteEse I pray you one day find inner peace someday and that you return to tell us you finally triumphed over all ur inner demons. Loads of love and thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful prayer... U re one of d good ones
ReplyDeleteShe needs healing
ReplyDeleteEse,I have always wondered what happened to you. I will continue to include you in my prayers. I know one day,you will find that peace that passes all understanding.
ReplyDeleteEse is a cursed and disturbed soul. This hs got nothing to do wt d coza man. Ask ppl that knw her from way back. Always one controversy or d other. From lesbianism to fornication to depression. God save her soul
ReplyDeleteWhile I know post partum depression does exist. I believe this girl has some psycological issues she needs to sort out.
ReplyDeleteI wish she kept this information to herself,her family and her friends. Because we havnt gone this far in Nigeria to understand this. Even her family called her bad mother bcos they didn't understand. Moreso Nigerian public.
Pls where is her husband and her mother. This girl needs some support. Pls help her in caring for her son once in a while. Let her have a day weekly,she can go out and do smthn for herself. It is not easy.
I'm wondering why some of you had to bring the coza issue here. Post natal depression can happen to anyone. Even people TTCing get depressed, so what is it? Some of you just come and conclude stuff as if you have perfect lives.
ReplyDeleteNigerians!!! You talk, problem. You keep shut, wahala. *hiss*
God bless you i thought I was the only one pissed off with people bringing in Coza issues on a clear case of Post natal depression.
DeletePeople will read a case and comment based on something not only totally unrelated but stupidly disgusting.
To believe that the people asking this stupid questions are regular Bv's who are women themselves.
Bv's post natal depression has nothing to do with her past or anyone's past,it can happen to anyone saint or past where.
LEP😛
I wasn't a single Mom. My Mom was around.
DeleteI was dotted on by everybody...
I had a beautiful healthy baby... no complications. Lovely home with everyone playing their roles.
I was still very unhappy, sad and extremely moody.
I’m writing about this. It is not a spititual problem people.
I know a woman that killed herself, her husband came home to a dead wife and a crying baby. Prior to the day she killed herself, she had tried to drown the baby in the bath tub once.
No, she didn't have a run in with Pastor Coza.
No, she didn't have previous mental issues.
The only problem was that people ignored her cries for help and made it seem like she was ungrateful and silly for feeling the way she felt.
PND is real.
Hello Chikito👍
Of course post natal depression is very real, reminds me of a successful lawyer that had it all, I mean had a lovely flat in central London , very beautiful woman that jumped into the river Thames because she was depressed and was feeling suicidal, and she just had her baby too...
DeleteThis depression thing is for real i'm going through it now. Just that when I look @ my son I fill fulfilled. It's not easy taking care of a new born. Especially when your husband is far away from u.even the depression of thinking ah my Tommy is look ugly and my Vjay is not looking dsame I just hve the fear my hubby won't enjoy me as he use to. I'm trying hard to make sure everything returns to normal.
ReplyDeleteFellow BVS pls lets try to undastand that a husband is not a superman with magical powers, he to, is human and subject to thesame presures n emotional feelings women have. Hence, a 'husband' cannot carry all ur problems in life, only God can do dat! Ese is married to benny Ark of cool fm.abuja, he has been there for dis lady when d whole world was against her, he married her after her predicament wit d coza pastor and he stood by her to d best of his ability. I remember a wedding they attended, and if you see the sneer and disgust people had for her u wud cry for her. I saw people goin 2 say hello to benny and behavin like he came wit a bag of 'kashi', she was snobbed and dissed, I pity her, but me cant go n say hello to her n turn the enemy of the day. Pls her husband has done his best, he is human, her can not treat a mentally sick person! He can only try to manage n help n cope. So you dat are shoutin 'where is her husband' hw much can you endure living with a depressd and unstable person? Hw long can you stand by sumone with depression, especially one that believes there is no God?? Remeber this is a woman who says 'there is no God' n no one shud dare talk to her about Christ, do this sound like a mentally well person???? I twalleh for her husband bcoz I am fortunate to know him, n the struggles he went thru.
ReplyDeleteThat is what a husband does. He stands by the wife you, monumental asshole.
DeleteKeep your vagina to yourself and stop sharing it to married men ...Ms knower.
Post Natal Depression is real but you are so narrow minded and so busy interfering in other people's marriages that you can't pick up a book and read or just google
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Your inability 2 express your self without insults says much abt u! Her problems did not start when she gave birth!!! As it is difficult for "wide minded" syncs such as ur self to reason and undastand, dat I knw dem dont mean I meddle in their business, who said anythng abt her opening leg??? Mr. King u sound so bitter, I pray u find happines and ability to read and understand.
Delete‘Her husband has been there for her’ Where else is he suppsoed to be exactly?
DeleteWho cares if people look at her with disdain in their eyes?
Mtcheeewwwwww
Amebo, you see your life? Mrs I don't want to spill the beans.
Deleteshe has just said what she went thru after giving birth, to be frank it is not easy at all. I knew what I went through during my post natal periods.
ReplyDeleteThis is 2018 you guys and it won't kill anyone of you to broaden your thinking about certain life issues. Mentally balanced women who have it all have been diagnosed with this issue. What concerns her past with this? And saying "I can never feel this way or that about my child" good for you but don't belittle women who slip into depression after childbirth because like all sicknesses nobody gets to have a say so in what befalls one. It doesn't make her evil or a bad mother. Leave her alone to create awareness over an issue so many women go through...somebody somewhere will read it and get the courage to seek help. This is and new year abeg we can do better than this.
ReplyDeleteIt's this "hypocritical and backward" ideologies of a typical Nigerian that has made that country stagnant.
ReplyDeleteWhat this girl is creating is an awareness about PND which is something people may or may not be aware of.
Even Serena Williams shared her experience about something quite similar, though not in the same magnitude of Ese.
These challenges mental/psychological like a few other symptoms that bother in the category earlier stated are real, and the victims need our love and support. Wonder why western countries progress daily? It's simple empathy and kindness. Any issue you have at all..even financial there's always some sort of help and resources for them. Whether govt or private owned.
Women let's learn to support each other for a change instead of tearing each other down. Take a cue from the men..they'll throw blows this minute and the next, drink whisky together.
Thank you Lep and other understanding BVs. Postpartum depression is real, that you have not been a victim does not give you the right to minimise what others are going through. Some are even driven to kill or commit suicide, that is how serious it can get. Why bring Coza into this? Na wa ooo. I hope Ese can overcome this, the best is yet to come, this is just a phase and it will pass.
DeleteEven after having ttcd for a year, i still had PPD in the form of baby blues, i was sad, had terrible weeping spells, i was exhausted and anxious. My hubby noticed he told me, i think you are depressed, i said No i cant be, I'M just exhausted! Days later we called 911, I had a panic attack while asleep, ran out breathless, heart racing fast and I had the feeling of impending doom, told my hubby, goodbye take care of my baby, i love you both....the paramedics came with 2 ambulances, 5 hefty men rushed into the apartment, they arrived in less than 5mins, it had subsided and my vitals were fine.... i would hide in the closet to cry so my hubby doesn't feel bad, i still loved my baby, so i didn't notice I was going into depression! Overwhelmed with exclusive breastfeeding which was the best for my baby, hormones low, and dazed that my world had changed suddenly, with no sleep for almost 2 weeks! It was until the first baby check when my hubby told the paediatrician my symptoms, i was speechless. He adviced me to leave the baby and go to the mall alone, take morning and evening walks alone. i did, it worked! For the first time, I felt so happy being alone, looking at beautiful clothes and make up, shopping, i took my time. After about a month, i felt better and things got back to normal, had it lasted 6 full weeks it would have been full blown depression, and I would have needed to see a psychologist. New mothers go through a lot, everyone asking only about the baby, no one really cares about you, only a few sensitive people notice and give support. Post partum depression is real and very common. All they need is love and support especially in the first few months. Some result to severe depression, and even psychosis and would need medical intervention and treatment.
ReplyDeleteEven after having ttcd for a year, i still had PPD in the form of baby blues, i was sad, had terrible weeping spells, i was exhausted and anxious. My hubby noticed he told me, i think you are depressed, i said No i cant be, I'M just exhausted! Days later we called 911, I had a panic attack while asleep, ran out breathless, heart racing fast and I had the feeling of impending doom, told my hubby, goodbye take care of my baby, i love you both....the paramedics came with 2 ambulances, 5 hefty men rushed into the apartment, they arrived in less than 5mins, it had subsided and my vitals were fine.... i would hide in the closet to cry so my hubby doesn't feel bad, i still loved my baby, so i didn't notice I was going into depression! Overwhelmed with exclusive breastfeeding which was the best for my baby, hormones low, and dazed that my world had changed suddenly, with no sleep for almost 2 weeks! It was until the first baby check when my hubby told the paediatrician my symptoms, i was speechless. He adviced me to leave the baby and go to the mall alone, take morning and evening walks alone. i did, it worked! For the first time, I felt so happy being alone, looking at beautiful clothes and make up, shopping, i took my time. After about a month, i felt better and things got back to normal, had it lasted 6 full weeks it would have been full blown depression, and I would have needed to see a psychologist. New mothers go through a lot, everyone asking only about the baby, no one really cares about you, only a few sensitive people notice and give support. Post partum depression is real and very common. some result to severe depression and even psychosis, which can result in suicide and infanticide if not treated. New mums need alot love and support especially in the first few months. #memoirsofanewmum #metoo #PPDisreal.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is so real....we nred more awareness and support groups in Nigeria
DeleteWow.... E-hugs dear. We really need more awareness in Nigeria then.
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