STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHAT A MESSED UP STORY!
This is a story of my life Stella. Please bear with me because this
is a very long real life story. I am a 26year old trained teacher. I have
been going through alot since I started going into relationships. I lost
my dad when I was twelve years old and I was my daddy's favourite.
My mum likes my brothers more I have three brothers and due to the over pampering two turned into weed smoker and drunkards one currently does nothing whiles the other is a teacher but drink and smokes cigarettes like no ones business he spend all his money on drinks. So after the demise of my
father I didn't have alot of love. My mum would always yell at me and never
listened to me when I try to tell her something or discuss an issue with
her, my mum is such that she chooses some people to like and just doesn't
like some people.
father I didn't have alot of love. My mum would always yell at me and never
listened to me when I try to tell her something or discuss an issue with
her, my mum is such that she chooses some people to like and just doesn't
like some people.
She ever told me one time that parents cannot love their
children equally. You will love some more than some. Please parents in the
house is this true?
children equally. You will love some more than some. Please parents in the
house is this true?
Being the reason she acts that way towards some of her kids
including me. We are five kids in number am the only girl of she and my dad
plus three boys. We have an elder sister but shes from her side.
When I turned 22 I got into a relationship with a poly student I
was by then teaching and working at the same time to be able to get money
to fend for myself and assist pay my school fees. Mind you am the last
born and my mum is a headmistress but my family asked me to pack my things
and come home from the University because there was no money.
They got me a job which I was working whiles studying. I got pregnant by the boy I was dating at the age of 22 however I was still a virgin. It happened that he tried to penetrate me and couldn't so he stopped but some of the sperm
sipped through and got me pregnant. we decided to get rid of the pregnancy
because he was still a student and I was working and studying and with the
kind of relationship I have with my mom we didn't see it convenient having
the baby. So we got the drug which I bought with my own money added to
his. I took the drug that night while he claimed he was going to read and
write his quizzes.
sipped through and got me pregnant. we decided to get rid of the pregnancy
because he was still a student and I was working and studying and with the
kind of relationship I have with my mom we didn't see it convenient having
the baby. So we got the drug which I bought with my own money added to
his. I took the drug that night while he claimed he was going to read and
write his quizzes.
I nearly bled to death coupled with the pain that night so I knelt down and prayed to God to save me and that I will never do such again. I finally went to neighbours house for assistance because by then I was staying alone in a face me I face you compound. The next day when he came I asked him to buy me food because I was still bleeding but he refused saying he can't and that I should go and buy the food myself. We spoke for a long while before he finally agreed to go and get me the food.
Long story short I caught him cheating and we broke up and I stayed single for
months. Until I met the second boy. He too showed signs of abuse and we
broke up too.
The third guy I dated was a scammer but I didn't know when I got to
know I deleted him from my life. The fourth guy I dated was a drunkard a
former Cocaine sniffer and weed smoker but he told me he stopped all of
that and was now struggling to stop the smoking, whom I also had an
abortion for I took a morning after pill which find work because I was
close to my period. We broke up also.
months. Until I met the second boy. He too showed signs of abuse and we
broke up too.
The third guy I dated was a scammer but I didn't know when I got to
know I deleted him from my life. The fourth guy I dated was a drunkard a
former Cocaine sniffer and weed smoker but he told me he stopped all of
that and was now struggling to stop the smoking, whom I also had an
abortion for I took a morning after pill which find work because I was
close to my period. We broke up also.
Afterwards I went to a prophet because I realised everything
happening wasn't normal after two of my exes forcefully had sex with and
with the way all my relationships where going. The prophet told me to stay
a year without a boyfriend and sex. He agreed to help me through it and
said one of my boyfriend transferred that spirit to me.
I stayed single with no sex and no masturbation for 5 month when I
met this guy even though we used to chat on FB and speak on phone we never
saw each other. My ex too had been wanting to get back with me but I never
agreed. So i accepted the new guy and we started a relationship within two
weeks I gave in to him and we had sex. The sex was great and we were in
love it was a long distance relationship.
Then two weeks later my ex boyfriend called me and said he was sick and cannot get up so i should buy him some porridge. I made a mistake thinking he was really sick and so I didn't have to worry about anything or maybe give it to someone to send to him. When i got to his room he forcefully had sex with me. Which I kept screaming. Now I didn't want to tell my guy this but I asked for advice from someone in my church who immediately said I should tell him everything that happened and if I can't tell him directly I should send him a message.
Without thinking again, I told him and honestly I regret doing so. Because
he broke up with me instantly stating that he cannot forgive me for such an
act. Now am single all over again and regret disobeying my pastor I
shouldn't have and I regret it everyday.
I wish to start all over again to stay single for one year without
a boyfriend or sex as my pastor advised and reject any guy who comes my way
as am only 26 years old. I have been suicidal after the last incident
because I have gone through alot in life and feel I finally deserve
happiness.
I have been physically abused by my brother and verbally abused
by my brothers to but still stay at home because I can't move out. Two of
my brother drink and smoke heavily and cause alot of trouble at home. And
the relationship with my mum is nothing to call home about. Life is
definitely not easy.
by my brothers to but still stay at home because I can't move out. Two of
my brother drink and smoke heavily and cause alot of trouble at home. And
the relationship with my mum is nothing to call home about. Life is
definitely not easy.
As at now I have completed school and working full time but
single and intend to be till a year's time and reject any man who comes my
way. Please dears advice me on what to do. Sometimes I even think
marriage is not for everyone and decide I want to be single for life. But
then again no one respects single mothers where I come from. Am in a
dilemma.
What should I do?
Am I under any ancestral, generational curses I don't know of. My local name means to sit back and my mum asked me to stop
using the name because according to her any lady with that name who gets
married comes back to their fathers house.
using the name because according to her any lady with that name who gets
married comes back to their fathers house.
Has anyone been in this sort of a situation before and how did
they tackle it? thank you.
I have No family, love no bf and I am suicidal.
*Which ancestral or generational curse?Please leave your ancestors alone..
You need to discipline yourself my dear!...you are sleeping around looking for love...You need to love yourself properly before anyone can love you ...LOVE YOURSELF!!
You are also in a bad environment which is affecting you negatively....you may need to save some small money and move out of that poisoned atmosphere so that you can BEGIN TO FUNCTION POSITIVELY:
Whilst you do that,my dear close those legs of yours and stop letting yourself get abused...
Hmmm..spirit don suffer!
ReplyDeleteHe couldn't penetrate but he still stayed there to ejaculate??? Anyway, let me go back and continue reading
DeletePlease what God commands all that worship him to do is to "flee fornication and not sin against their bodies" (1 Cor. 6:18). Any "pastor" that is limiting fornication to one year is in error "not knowing the scriptures nor the power of God".
DeleteMourn for those kids you killed so that your conscience will be clear to appreciate God's love for you and so that you will appreciate yourself properly. Christians mourn by fasting. Give yourself some discipline. GOD LOVES YOU IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED. He created your life and he alone can repair it. When you fast, you should be able to resist the work of the flesh called "sexual immorality"/lust (Galatians 5:19).
Above all, fill your mind with the teachings of Jesus which will grant you a renewed mind. You can listen to the New Testament in your smart phone by just typing any book/chapter in your search engine.
To all the girls chanting "close your legs", who dey f*ck all those *uck stories in Anonymous night posts?
DeleteSTELLA I DON TEE WE YOU YARN US ANONYMOUSLY
Hahahahahhahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
In fact since this year you never yarn us na!
Fucklicant!
ReplyDeleteClose ur legs n stop longing after men pls, na so so yeye guys u dey attract!
F*ckli*** Like blackberry
DeleteMadam close your legs and close it for good...I pray the spirit of mermaids legs will overshadow your legs so there won't be any penetration....
ReplyDeleteYou are just a stupid girl trying to blame your ancestors for your mistakes, where in God's name do u eet these kind of useless men, u obviously attract your kind, your pastor said u should keep punani for only one year, u refused, did u tell us before opening your legs for your fb boy friend, ode, small small girls of 18_25 are collecting good money from men, u dey there dey do osho free with drunkards & gbana boys, ewu..
ReplyDeleteAnd u are quite stupid for insulting her. Most people that grew up without love end up this way cos they end up looking for the love that is lacking at home everywhere.
DeleteThere are some ppl that deserve insults and some that deserve kindness. Just thank ur God u didn't face all she faced as I'm sure ur kind of person would have turned out worse
@ANGELRAY4SDK,I want to believe you read through that trash you typed up there and felt good for calling her "stupid" but consider this:"small small girls of 18_25 are collecting good money from men, u dey there dey do osho free with drunkards and gbana boys,ewu.."
DeleteNow with those words by you, do you still think she's more qualified to be called 'stupid'than you do?
Poster u have deep seated psychological problems. Reflect on ur life and u will see what’s up. Then move on. All this prophet and blaming others is just a way to waste ur money and time. They r defense mechanisms. Forget the past and improve on ur future. U keep choosing useless guys cos u r hung up on the past. Pls get introspective and make improvements. Good luck
ReplyDeleteThis one time let's not accuse the devil falsely. You lacked love growing up and thought you could find it in a man. That's why you've made too many mistakes.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your pastor. Stay off sex, develop yourself, heal from all the hurt and pain, buy small sense and work harder so you can earn more money to get a place of your own. Jeez!' Your house is toxic mehn. I feel sorry for you.
Please forget men exist for at least one year. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. It is well.
Chikito is right! You need to move out of that house. Develop a relationship with God. His presence in your life will help you see yourself differently. I pray for you that Gods love will serenade you completely. God bless you dear and show you the right way to go.
DeleteI so love you Chikito. You always always make sense.
DeletePoster if you remember that HIV is real you would know how to arrange yourself. Getting pregnant is not the only consequence of all this sex you are mentioning.
DeleteWhat do you really need a boyfriend for? They don't help you spiritually, financially, morally, psychologically ati be be lo and you are still there forming relationship?
Love does not involve sex. Love yourself first. Forget about being suicidal those that committed suicide did they find peace? I don't know and you don't. Forget about your family and live for yourself. Read sdk especially the comment section. Learn to laugh and really practice your religion from your heart not because pastor said this or that.
I pray you read through all the advices given here and decide to be a better you. God bless you.
Even the men you sleep with know you are cheap..... Sorry to say that.
ReplyDeleteLearn to say no! No!
And zip your tohtoh........ Sex is completely over rated.....
When your husband comes you will know. And let your past remain in the past.
but wait o, forcefully had sex with me, that one na rape na abi? or when u put up a little fight in the initial instance and then u give in, its not rape? #confusedface.
ReplyDeleteGirlie, you need to cleanse urself, theres a dark cloud following you around, dont blame village ppl, their hands are clean this time around, maybe prroccupied with ur neighbour.
Stella really nailed it.
ReplyDeleteBut in addition, your mum is not a good woman. How could a woman, or anyone blatantly show kids that they hate them. Your upkeep is somewhat affecting you.
There is no need to whine on the fact that you have poor upbringing.
Dear:
1.Dont believe in any ancestral names manifesting in your life. It may be hard, but activate your faith. If you can believe there is such power, then the power of the almighty is greater.
2. If I were you, I would stop dating for now and try to define my life more, the more you rush to men to show you love, the more disappointed you will, because no one can show us look love if we aren't showing ourselves.
3.Love isn't sex and sex isn't love. I think we've all heard this enough to allow it make us wiser in certain relationship choices we make. Sleeping with almost everyone that comes your way isn't going to do you good, at the end, your self esteem would decline. Be wise
All the best, and don't forget to work hard so you can succeed and show your mum what it means to love.
You spoke my mind Stella. Poster, you need to love yourself. You feel lonely and get into any and everything without thinking bout you. Please pause and make your decisions. YOU come first, YOU come second and its YOU,YOU and YOU
ReplyDeletePoster you are the causer of your problem, you are desperate to find love, allow love to find you instead, live your life, work on your self esteem, do not allow any guy to mess with you. Set a standard for yourself, read this book why men love bitches. Focus on your job,love yourself, save up some money and change location. Where you lie can also make you to always find broke as guys. Stop thinking of marriage all the time, is better you are single than being married and crying to run out. We too na married women way the fast make oga go collect him bride price back oh. Relax good man will find you soon, stop falling cheap.
ReplyDeleteTruly truly, until we have more research houses than religious houses, we will remain where we are as a people.
ReplyDeleteAbeg must everything be spiritual?
Leave your ancestors alone joor. They are sleeping, allow them to sleep.
Truth is, you are too lazy to work on yourself and want to leave the work for someone else,hence the nerd to push the blame elsewhere.
Madam, wake up! You do not need any pastor or prophet in this situation. All you need is your mind. Use it well, I'm sure it still functions
This is clearly a case of one not having directions in life. I was so amazed reading this.you sleep with any one that comes your way with the intention they will marry you. Smh. Apart from being pregnant, do you realize that there is std and you could get it without knowing it. This life style is dangerous. That's the least I can say.
ReplyDeleteHope u 're also checking ur hiv status as u re sleeping around so n getting pregnant anyhow. U want us to advise u to wait one year and after that what happens? U resume where u stopped. Get some respect for ursef and Work on ursef angels dont attract demons. U attract what u re. Get u some standards and close your legs. A man that comes to u for rlship n insists on sex b4 marriage is not ready to wife u. U're 26 n not too young to b wifed
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say but be disciplined and focus. It is well with you
ReplyDeletePoster, Just as Stella said, you need to love yourself first before seeking for someone's acceptance. Discipline yourself. You can do it. My elder sister is 46. No husband. no lover of any kind. She has not been with a man for over 2 years now despite the men who want to be with her. She values herself so much you will think she is a married woman.
ReplyDeleteany man who comes her way will know you cannot toy with this one. She has her well paying job and is not depressed by her singleness. Please treat yourself good so others can value you.
Prove to your mother you can make it even without family support. Mothers tend to love their sons more while fathers cling to their daughters. I am very close to my popsy but my brother is mumsy's favourite. I think this is common, not perculiar to you.
It is well with you
Poster, Just as Stella said, you need to love yourself first before seeking for someone's acceptance. Discipline yourself. You can do it. My elder sister is 46. No husband. no lover of any kind. She has not been with a man for over 2 years now despite the men who want to be with her. She values herself so much you will think she is a married woman.
ReplyDeleteany man who comes her way will know you cannot toy with this one. She has her well paying job and is not depressed by her singleness. Please treat yourself good so others can value you.
Prove to your mother you can make it even without family support. Mothers tend to love their sons more while fathers cling to their daughters. I am very close to my popsy but my brother is mumsy's favourite. I think this is common, not perculiar to you.
It is well with you
I am going through heartbreak currently
ReplyDeleteregretted ever allowing him into my life after 2years
feeling used,been crying and I feel relief coz I can't possibly kill myself over one that is too possessive all in the name of a relationship
I wud feel better after a while
plz dear poster stay away from Men abeg
they ain't just worth it
when u were setting dogstyle u didnt knw men arent worth it abi? Dont be too hard on urself, you've learnt a valuable lesson from that broken r/ship, now you will cherish urself and be on ur guard.
DeleteA broken hearted boy/girl is not in any position to give relationship advice, maybe wen ure fully healed
DeleteKai aunty virginia,ur hilariously hilarious.
ReplyDelete'I got pregnant by the boy I was dating at the age of 22 however I was still a virgin. It happened that he tried to penetrate me and couldn't so he stopped but some of the sperm
sipped through and got me pregnant'
Oh God!!
ReplyDeleteIm seething.
Young lady, does a relationship validate you as a human being?
Why re you jumping from from boy to the other?
I understand that your foundation is weak but you gotta make something out of your life.
First dump that prophet. Don’t ever go seeking ‘answers’ from these questionable characters.. Pray for yourself.
About the situation in your house, just go to work, come back home, read, do what makes you happy and over look whatever mischief your brothers are up to. That way, you can atleast keep out of trouble until you get your own house.
Madam please go on a Man fast.. You have been used,abused and trampled on.
Ps: For the young adults out there, Pre cum pregnancy is real... half penetration even when you are a virgin can get you pregnant. Be safe🙌
Hmm, you're a teacher and you write like this? It's a pity. You're under no curse, close your legs until marriage, focus on developing yourself and drawing closer to God. I didn't have sex until marriage at 24 and i wasn't particularly showered with love either. Stop looking for excuses for your promiscuity, accept responsibility and work towards being a better person. God loves you.
ReplyDeleteWhat does what you did have to do with this woman. Are we supposed to present you with a prize for remaining a Virgin until marriage. Why is it that you can speak God in one sentence and lack love. You do not know God and should not be calling God's name, because to know God is to know love. Sleeping with four men is not being promiscuous, anymore than sleeping with one makes you a wonderful human being. We are all sinners and none is better than the other in the sight of God. Ppl do not write coherently when they are emotional, some cannot even speak a proper sentence in this state, do you think she would be in her right frame of mind writing all these Things? Do you think she was happy and joyful while writing this? If you cannot give loving help without criticisms then give none whatsoever. You also need to take responsibility for lacking in love and being a lacklustre Christian.
DeleteKai aunty virginia,ur hilariously hilarious.
ReplyDelete'I got pregnant by the boy I was dating at the age of 22 however I was still a virgin. It happened that he tried to penetrate me and couldn't so he stopped but some of the sperm
sipped through and got me pregnant'
Poster you are not under any ancessaral cause. Just close your legs, face your job, pray like nevery before and even if you must be in a relationship stay away from sex. Then the environment you stay in is nothe helping you, if you can move then do but if not just stay focused and forget about sex. SEX is not love.
ReplyDeleteLearn to love yourself and stay away from all this your situationship.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have problems, you are the one creating wahala for yourself.
Dress well, do things that make you happy, learn new and stay away fromm pastors.
what concerns you with your brothers that smoke weed, how does that affect your life ? Abeg go sitdown .
Stella is so spot on...like spot on.... move the hell out of that place..... I dont get....how do people end up with guys like this.....seriously......haba.....also check yourself, is there somthing about you that attracts these kind of guys to you (physical now) and vice versa
ReplyDeletePoster Stella has given you the best advise. I think you are suffering from low self esteem. Dust yourself, pick yourself up and love yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think you are looking for the love of your father through a man. Since he was the only one who ever truly loved you, you are trying to replace that love through a relationship. Life is very complex and you will not be able to find a man who will love you as your father did. Stella is right, you are suffering from low self-esteem and self-worth. You are actually acting in a self-destructive manner and outwardly projecting what you feel on the inside. The prophet is right, you need to look inward and heal from within, you will not be able to do this if you are caught up in a relationship. Self healing requires focus and the strength to go through the pain that will rise to the surface. You must focus all your energies on healing and it is better to do it now while you are still so young. If you can overcome this you can reset your mind and inner being and then attract a decent man into your life. If you do not do the hard work now you will continue to attract men that are at the same level of your self-esteem and continue to suffer. Get up and work on your healing today, it is an act of love and when you do not have ppl around you who love you it means you will have to love yourself three times as much. Start loving yourself from within and your life will change. As soon as you can move from your family place and find an environment that you can thrive in. Very few human beings are capable of hearing negativity about them daily and being abused and thrive in such a place. Turn all your energies inward and empower yourself through healing the inner woman so you can have a victorious life in the end. May God grant you all the wisdom you can take.
ReplyDeletePoster you are cheap and that is why those guys keep dumping you. No ancestral curse is following you. I hope you aren't a nympho? Because your love for sex is on another level. You need to discipline yourself by closing ur legs. You can even still date a guy but stop sleeping with them till when you know they have genuine plans to marry you. Open ur eyes and be smart. The ball is in your court. Close your legs and watch God bless you.
ReplyDeleteCheap goat.
ReplyDeleteLmao at Stella's response that is the truth.You own your life.You're not living a decent life.Desist from all this and see the mercy of God upon your life.
ReplyDeleteWhat a hilarious story! You strategically made yourself a rag doll; a passive observer who everyone forcefully had sex with and even impregnated.
ReplyDeleteBetter take responsibility of your actions and stop blaming ancestral spirits who are resting peacefully wherever they are.
Please what God commands all that worship him to do is to "flee fornication and not sin against their bodies" (1 Cor. 6:18). Any "pastor" that is limiting fornication to one year is in error "not knowing the scriptures nor the power of God".
ReplyDeleteMourn for those kids you killed so that your conscience will be clear to appreciate God's love for you and so that you will appreciate yourself properly. Christians mourn by fasting. Give yourself some discipline. GOD LOVES YOU IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED. He created your life and he alone can repair it. When you fast, you should be able to resist the work of the flesh called "sexual immorality"/lust (Galatians 5:19).
Above all, fill your mind with the teachings of Jesus which will grant you a renewed mind. You can listen to the New Testament in your smart phone by just typing any book/chapter in your search engine.
It's sad reading through comments. This poster is clearly looking for love but in the wrong places. As a woman who grew up without a father I can relate with this story. Until u experience a situation, don't jump to label anyone. None of u is better, just because she put out her story seeking help does not mean she should be ridiculed. Dear poster, seek the face of God and love Jesus whole heartedly, study what the bible says about the love that the Father has for us, when u begin to understand how deeply Jesus loves us then your healing is sure. Leave ur past in the past, no One is blameless or perfect. Love will find u, stop looking, u r still young u've got ur whole life ahead of u. Prove everyone including urself wrong. Don't forget to forgive ur family...i know it's hard but try. God bless.
ReplyDeletePlease change your name to something better like move forward Or always ahead biko nne. If you can please move out from that abusive.
ReplyDeleteYour name is your destiny. Also change your sphere of contacts, and friends. It will do you alot of good. Love your self and build your self confidence, a good man will come along. When you wake up in the morning, say to you self,i am beautiful, i am unique, i am special, i love myself. Big hugs, dear. You will be fine.
ReplyDeletelife is a teacher,the more you live the more you learn.
ReplyDeleteMy der you need JESUS
ReplyDelete#abusive environment
ReplyDeleteStella God bless your wisdom. Poster you need love your self first, that’s the whole 9yards. And please stop playing SOFTWORK for your self and dancing one corner to it. Stop being a play tool in the bed before you end up aborting all your babies and TTC (God forbid ) eventually when you get married. Above all discover yourself and put on some Shakara shoes.
ReplyDeletewell advised @Chikito
ReplyDelete