STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
AT A CROSS ROAD AND CONFUSED OVER TTC
Dearest Stella and my fellow Bv's, been a blog visitor since 2015. Am at a cross here,confused, sad and also grateful to God
I got married to a wonderful man in 2015, God blessed us with the fruit of the womb but I lost it at the 3rd month, no heart beat.
I decided to seek help from my mum and my walls came crumbling, she bluntly told me her pastor from cele said I can't have kids with my hubby, that the only way she can help me raise money is if I leave my hubby and marry someone else, she will give me the entire cash for it. She wanted to get me a car, I pleaded with her that she should convert that money but she refused.
I was shattered, my hubby isn't perfect but I love him with my all, how can she ask me to do that?? My hubby has been nothing but supportive knowing fully well about my issue and still sticking by me.
I told my mum that she's not God and I won't leave my hubby, my hubby isn't so rich but we are both comfortable, I don't lack the basic either.
I am just broken, I need advice. I think my mum is being brainwashed totally. I just need encouragement because am still so numb. Where do I go from here?
Dearest Stella and my fellow Bv's, been a blog visitor since 2015. Am at a cross here,confused, sad and also grateful to God
I got married to a wonderful man in 2015, God blessed us with the fruit of the womb but I lost it at the 3rd month, no heart beat.
Got pregnant again and it was an ectopic pregnancy so I lost it too including one of my tubes. Went for my follow up checkup with hubby and the Doc told us my remaining tube is infected(beaded) and can lead to another ectopic, though he's not writing it off because he's not God.
Hubby and I were devastated, I cried endlessly. Told him if I can't carry my own child I would rather not live.
We were advised to try IVF, between spending money for series of tests, my operation and this wonderful economy where would we raise such huge cash from? I cried liked never before, hubby felt so bad and he sold some stuff to raise some cash but we didn't get enough.
I decided to seek help from my mum and my walls came crumbling, she bluntly told me her pastor from cele said I can't have kids with my hubby, that the only way she can help me raise money is if I leave my hubby and marry someone else, she will give me the entire cash for it. She wanted to get me a car, I pleaded with her that she should convert that money but she refused.
What sort of pastor would ask one to leave her hubby and become a baby mama of some sort?
I was shattered, my hubby isn't perfect but I love him with my all, how can she ask me to do that?? My hubby has been nothing but supportive knowing fully well about my issue and still sticking by me.
I told my mum that she's not God and I won't leave my hubby, my hubby isn't so rich but we are both comfortable, I don't lack the basic either.
I am just broken, I need advice. I think my mum is being brainwashed totally. I just need encouragement because am still so numb. Where do I go from here?
*Chaiiii...you didnt play smart...you should have collected the car gift from her and sold it for the treatment you need.lol #waffysense
Why are you putting your body under pressure....whilst you wait,you can adopt child and take it easy since your hubby understands...stop focusing on your mum to give you the money and since you and your hubby are doing well,,start saving some money and gradually you will get what you need.
Good luck oh.
All will be well
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Amen
DeleteYou guys need to be careful with pastors o. My story is too bad.I have written it here before. The cele pastor might be the one that wants to marry you and using your mum to get to you. There is a case of a woman who was looking for fruit of the womb and also went to a pastor with her husband. Small time the pastor started liking her but she didn't even notice. Like play like play God answered her prayers and she got pregnant of which her husband noticed that the pastor is becoming to close to his wife and warned his wife to stop going to see him all the time. Suddenly she lost the pregnancy. She had 4 or 5 miscarriages for her husband. As usual doctors told her different stories. So she was using pills and at the same time went to see another pastor who told her that her case is not ordinary again. That in fact she would have just waited a bit that she would have gotten pregnant. But that the pastor who she goes to see is the one making sure her pregnancy doesn't stay. That if she likes she should do ivf and the likes she will never get pregnant because the mans wants to marry her. Despite knowing that she is married o. The man wants her to live her husband and marry him. The man has tried several ways to make her love him but it didn't click instead she got pregnant and he decided that he will cause miscarriage for her. Well this new pastor had to call the old pastor. Fortunately the new pastor found out that he and the old one went to the same seminary. He had to beg him to release the woman. The old pastor said he is releasing her because of the respect he has for this new pastor. As I am writing. The woman has given birth to her second child. Be very careful with pastors o. Most of them are babalawo. Once you are a fine woman. Married or unmarried, they can stop at nothing till they get you. If you sleep with them that's the end. By the time you realise it you would have left your matrimonial home or your parents house and given birth for the pastor. This so called men of god are evil.
DeleteStella has a solid point
DeletePoster,your mom might be right!...
ReplyDeleteHave you wondered why your man is still sticking around acting all good and nice?...
The problem might be from him spiritually!..
Have you prayed on your own?i mean have you seen your own pastor?...
I wish you well though!...
He's sticking around nd being supportive problem,if he doesn't it's still another problem...na wa oo!!!...is it that you think there are no good husbands left or What?
DeleteThis queen and boss, be like you think upside down
DeleteWell crafted. Give her free ivf already.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you. You need to move closer to God. Believe God is able and can do the impossible which he does always. Relax your mind and body. Stop worrying I know it's hard but you can do that. You can also read supernatural childbirth it's a good book.
ReplyDeleteYou will definitely be encouraged.
Don't mind that cele pastor, cele? Crooks!
ReplyDeleteMy dear, flush that tube, beaded or not, take serrapeptase for some months n flush it, hope for d best.
To avoid unforseen issues......spiritual and physical.
ReplyDeleteFake reasoning with your mum. And go adopt a child while you and hubby get enough money for ivf. If possible don't collect the car nor the money from your mum.
Just play cool with her.... I am scared for you and hubby as your mum is Cele 🚣🚣🚣🚣
Adopt a child or get a surrogate; just talk to your husband about the latter. It doesn't make you less of a woman if you use a surrogate, find out all there is to know about it.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you
If she can't afford Ivf. Is surrogacy cheaper?
DeleteSurrogate ko! Did she tell you her womb has issues?
DeleteYou would rather not live, cos u can't carry your own children? Not having your own children does not make u less of a woman. Your husband standing by u" knowing fully well og your condition, is not a favour. That's what responsible people do. God is in control.
ReplyDeleteI love your what you’ve just written anon.👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾
DeleteIf the man refused to stand by her, will you get him arrested? Learn to see the good in others.
DeleteThank you Mama Nobi
DeleteI was praying for years for my cousin who was trying to conceive. One day, I had a dream where she was removing her underpants. As I watched, she removed it and two placentas fell out in turns; with the attached umbilical cords. I shuddered and when I asked her she confirmed what I thought. We began to pray for forgiveness and mourn for the two kids. Continued that prayer till I left the country. Almost like forgot it. The next year, I got an email, she had delivered a baby. I was overjoyed.
ReplyDeleteMany times, we pray the wrong prayers but God is merciful. He wants us to be contrite with regards to any issue and free our conscience. He will answer.
Lol... Madam Abortion you don't get new format? Eku ise
Deletesorry about your condition. but you have to put your trust in God,all these are trials. The only way to get your miracle is if you and hubby stick together. Also,look at adopting, your miracle may come from caring for another person's child.
ReplyDeletePlease recommend an adoption agency in Abuja where I can adopt a baby girl. I have been trying the social welfare for sometime but keep getting frustrated. I just needed to give shelter and basic needs to the adopted child and make her part of our home. Any help will do dear
DeletePoster you've already identified the problem - your mom belongs to Cele & they want you to marry a Cele person. Don't be surprised if they have even locked your womb for fetish reasons.
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid or feel sad - God will help you. Please RUN to MFM or OMEGA FIRE Ministries as fast as you can with your husband for Deliverance - You will be shocked at how God will bless you with fruit of the womb
Mfm abi omega fire abi? Yeye so that’s where God lives?
Deleteit is well with you poster
ReplyDeleteGbam! Stella I thought same @ car gift 🤣🤣
ReplyDeletePoster can you do that? If not wait and keep focusing.
I don't like advising TTC people because they are usually emotional and feel no one understands them. But an ex colleague called me the other day to say his wife has finally taken in after 9 years of struggle cos of hormonal bla bla. Both in their late 30s, two first borns. He now told me that as much as he's not finding it funny, he thanks God. Because now, anywhere that child is born and whatever happens he is financially balanced enough to give the child the very best. For 6 years plus of their marriage they struggled financially. Cos of so many bills on his salary. His wife too had own on her side so her biz wasnt growing. Plus the fertility treatments weren't cheap. About 3 years ago he got an amazing job and they decided to chill and take vacations and just grow her business, settle pending bills like finishing his fathers house and setting provision stores up for his mum and MIL to relieve them. The last of their younger ones just graduated last year and they are free. Like joke, belle just enter. Scan showed twins. Doesn't that sound like 'perfect timing'?
Calm down don't believe anyone's report. God's ways are His ways.
My dear it is well,you made a mistake by telling your mum about your condition,you would have ask her for cash wuthout telling her the reason,you don't have to feel so bad or depressed,start saving for the ivf,never leave your husband because of any prophecy from a so called prophet,celestial church brainwashing people since1900.
ReplyDeleteStick with your loving husband whilst he tries his penis with other ladies and ends up with babies by another woman ............but atleast he ll still be married to you and you will sha be understanding to his plight...afterall man must norn pikin
ReplyDeleteYou will get pregnant and have your own kids IJN.
ReplyDeleteAmen!!!! Poster, calm down okay? With your womb you shall carry your babies, with your hands, you shall carry them, with your back, you shall carry them. I’ll be praying for you today.
DeleteI’m also ttc, but I know that by Gods grace, it’s settled. I’ve decided to stop stressing myself and let it happen when it happens. I’m very opened to adoption because so many children need love, and a Yoruba proverb says ‘it’s a child’s head that calls forth another child to the world’. It’s well with you my sister
This is so sad, because as what i can understand, your mother is also adding to your issues, but my dear, all i want you to do is to be very prayerful and good will direct you on a right path, this is somehow bad.
ReplyDeletePoster come to Abj. A lot of hospitals here are running promos on ivf for 550k. No joke...just get here and make enquiries. ..
ReplyDeleteHow about you give the info of the hospital or is it a secret? Or drop your email (takes min to create one) so she could enquire from wherever she is rather than go there with no concrete plan or will you accommodate/feed her ?
DeleteDo not kill yourself off trying to conceive, your husband will simply remarry and get his children through another wife. Give your body a break, go take a vacation and forget about baby making for a while. Give your body and spirit a chance to heal from the traumatic pregnancies. Have sex just for the fun and physical bonding with your husband and enjoy each other again like when you just met. Your body and mind has been through a lot you need rest and healing. Eat healthy and alive foods natural foods, keep away from processed foods. Do not consume anything made of soy, no matter how small, absolutely no soy in any capacity. Soy does affect fertility in women of child bearing age. As for your mother love her still, understand that her words are not her own, but spoken under the brainwashing, pray that she sees the light and move on from that church. But, take it easy and give your body and mind a break. Allow your reproductive organs to heal before you jump in again. Also, go seek a second medical opinion.
ReplyDeleteA genuine pastor will never ask you or encourage you to leave your husband especially when the man has not done anything to warrant that. Your mother is not the giver of children but God so shift your focus from her to God. The same that made you to conceive twice will do it again. Check other hospitals where you can get it cheaper. In all, don't relent in prayers. Baby dust on you.
ReplyDelete@Poster, your mother does not like your marriage and wants to scatter your home at all cost. She is even ready to sponsor the breakup. Stop telling her about your TTC journey, in fact stop giving her details of your marriage, period! The only thing that they will give you is high BP and misery. This is between you, God and your husband. I am experiencing the same thing. My mother is not cele but she bad mouthed ivf and dragged me from one pastor to another, each one telling me different stories. What did I not hear from these pastors, from 'spiritual husband' to 'husband not the one God chose for me'. It was the last one that made me say enough was enough. I come to you for assistance and you now attack my marriage that has no problem. Mba nu! I warned my mother not to bring any more pastors near me and I have stopped telling her about my TTC journey and even my marriage. Hubby and I are gradually saving for ivf. With prayers and steadfast belief in the Almighty God, I leave all in His hands. Have faith and do not underestimate the power of getting down on your knees in prayers to God.
ReplyDelete@Poster, remain calm. Stop crying as it will put your body under alot of pressure which is counter productive. Discuss with your doctor the various options you can take and have an open mind. Don't forget to take care of your health. Live a healthy lifestyle and take regular multivitamins and add supplements like Cellgevity and Royal Jelly.
Baby dust to you and I wish you all the best.
This is one of the reasons I have concluded that whatever the outcome of my holiday extracurricular activities is, I will damn the consequences and keep my baby. People who legitimately want kids are having difficulties having them and then some are flushing everyday. Not condemning anyone. We have to face the consequences of our actions. Poster just relax, pray and live healthily. God will show up for you and your DH soon.
ReplyDeletePlease and please be patient.....my friend just had a baby with similar birth condition as yours... only one fallopian tube...infact I thought it was her writing the post initially. God will not let you down.
ReplyDeletePoster.....The Lord is your strength. Keep on believing, your miracle is on my way.....don't give up on God please
ReplyDeletePoster you must be stupid to say if you don’t have children it’s better for you not to be alive.....who told you your case is hard with God? Honestly that your statement got me angry...I waited 10 years and I never one day wanted to die cos God was yet to answer....yes I wept, begged, sowed seeds, prayed, saw all sorts but I believed God would answer me someday.....I also took a step of faith and started buying baby stuff.....also have you prayed for God to reveal things to you? When a particular prayer is yet to be answered God has a purpose....in my case after much prayer and fasting God revealed my mother in law was the cause..lord have mercy, I just changed prayer points and got people and my cousin to pray with me....I told hubby our delay was spiritual but he never believed me cos he felt I was being too spiritual, more so he was not as prayerful as I was....the lord also told me not to tell hubby When I get pregnant cos if he told his mum she would scatter it again like the last 3.....he or his mum did not know I was pregnant till I was 3 months gone, and as God worked it out he travelled abroad after the egg transfer with IVF...he blessed us with twins...and you know what? It was after MIL died a family member confirmed to me she had actually gone to a cele pastor who did jazz for her to separate hubby and I so they could continue using him as ATM......funny but true but God bears me witness.....so my dear poster, God will not ask you to divorce your husband and ask you to marry another....your mum (am not saying she is) could be the cause of your problem for reasons only known to her....go pray and fast and ask him to reveal or speak to you...he will.....go to a bible believing church and speak to a respected pastor..
ReplyDeleteDelay is not denial and your case is not too big for God...keep trusting him..if he did it for me after 10 years he will do it for you....
Hmmnn... all these pastors and their fake prophecies
ReplyDelete