Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Some women are not fit to be called ''Mama''

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

ADVICE NEEDED ON HOW TO HANDLE A NON EXISTENT MOTHER

Stella, I have a burning issue in my heart and i need to share to get opinion of BVs. We all have stories to tell in our life's journey. Am a lady who has gone through so much in life. Family rejection, marital turbulence, childlessness


Mother had me out of wedlock. According to her, she tried everything possible to get rid of the pregnancy but i refused to be evacuated. When she finally had me, she dumped me with her brother's wife in the village, as she did not want people to know she had a child. 

She later got married, had a comfortable life in the city. Had children for the man. Meanwhile, her brother's wife was maltreating me back in the village. She did not care. Another brother of hers seeing the maltreatment smuggled me back to her. She was not particularly happy with this move. She hated me,told me not to call her mum but "Aunty" This is what i called her till i entered secondary school then her husband i used 'Sir" for, suddenly told me to start calling him "Daddy" So i did.

That was when she changed her mind and told me to use mummy for her. I used it reluctantly and sparingly.


I was never close to mother. Infact, i was treated as a househelp. Always using hateful words, so i was mostly in the hostel, dreaded going home on holidays as she used to beat me mercilessly at the slightest provocation. Calling me "bastard", that i have come to replace the position of the man's first child. 

Throughout my duration of 5 years in boarding house, she never visited even on visiting days. I was a depressed child in secondary school. I used to lie that my parents live abroad.

Unfortunately, their marriage crashed when i was about gaining admission into University. When i went to ask the man for Jamb fee, he bluntly told me he was not my father and that i should leave his house. By this time, mother had moved out of the house without letting any of us the children know her new place. Life became hell for us. The man was not particularly a homely type.Big womaniser. No money, no food in the house,so his children starved. I left and started fending for myself to go to school. Did sales girl in a supermarket. Neither the man nor mother ever looked for me till i graduated. None of them existed in my mind or life. To God be the glory, Got a good job immediately after NYSC.


The man remarried but had many children from 4 other women. About 16 altogether. Funny enough, am the only graduate, working and doing well. My younger ones were sent parking. One killed self. One missing till today, over 25 years now.Another, stated having children from 15years and around 18yrs with 3 children with nobody claiming any. That is the only one with her now, no basic education. 

Mother was less concerned about the welfare of these children claiming her salary cannot carter for children. Is like she sends her to mortgage her body. How else do i explain the shameful act?

She retired with good parkage as a middle management staff but misused her benefit and so living in Penury in old age. Surviving on meager pension. Throughout the period she was working ,never looked for me.

She cut off from family at the age of 17. All her siblings dead. So no family affiliation.I dont have contact with any cousin. 

On 1st January, she finally called and surprisingly the first thing she asked was if am working. I was taken aback. I refused to answer. I only said" Today is 1st, i only want to thank God for my life, God is in control"" she said ok.

The issue is as she is over 70, no money, no family, no house, nobody to turn to, the issue of who will bury her comes up. Where she will be buried. I understand she is looking up to me to build house for her now. Hence that question of whether I am working.

I am worried cause i don't want to disclose anything about myself to her and am concerned about telling her i don't have a job when in actuall sense am working. My job is my lifewire i cant use negative words about. Am not in any position to build house nor am i willing to stress myself financially. If she knows am working, omg! She will be demanding so much. She wont allow me rest.

What are the opinion of BVs on this as her sole aim of looking for me now is because she is counting her days. I intend paying her a visit soon. I am gathering what i will give to her plus a bag of rice but still contemplating on what to tell her about work.
BVs please, learn your voices on this. What should i tell her concerning my means of livelihood. Am worried too about the burden of burying her when she is finally called. As it seems the responsibility will be solely on me Hence unwillingness to disclose work. Not sure any known family member has my detail. Even the baby factory in the house does not relate with me.

*OMG,what a family?What a history!!..when you intend to marry,there will be nobody to invite as Family...so sad!!

You dont need to tell her anything...Just keep saying ''God is in control''..or speak in tongues any time she asks you..LOL

You dont need to be friends with her,just do what you need to do as a child and leave.....