STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
SHOCKER BEFORE THE WEDDING...
Hello Stella,
Kudos to you cos you have been saving lives since 1900. I have been reading chronicles and never knew I'll be writing mine this soon. Please I need you and BVs advise.
Hello Stella,
Kudos to you cos you have been saving lives since 1900. I have been reading chronicles and never knew I'll be writing mine this soon. Please I need you and BVs advise.
I met a guy 2 years ago and we have been talking on phone fast forward to this year June we became serious, he proposed after I visited him and we are planning to get married in January only for him to call me yesterday that there is something he wants us to discuss.
I started guessing and he told me not to bother that he'll tell me when he comes to Nigeria for the wedding. My dear Stella I started guessing and asked if he's been married before and he said YES. That it was a contract marriage and he has since been divorced. Before now I always told him of my reservations about getting married to a man who has been married before.
I told him to give me sometime to digest and think it through and also discuss with my Pastor. He got upset that does it mean my pastor will always make decisions for us even when we are married? That he should have listened to his friends advise of not telling me until after marriage. To say I am heart broken is an understatement. Pls what do I do?
I need to make a decision fast.
*Hmmm before you go forward,find out if there is more secrets waiting to spring at you after the wedding...
Let him show you a divorce certificate.
All this abroad men!!
ReplyDeleteYou will never know what they are up to cos they live very far.
Can't marry "abroad man" local is better 😂... see me I see you.
If you don't feel up to it anymore take a walk.
Babe even some local men are one chance bus rides. You think you're seeing them? Mba...it's the more you look the less you see. Just pray for a man that has the fear of God.
DeleteMust all of you girls marry men from "Abroad?"
DeleteOf course, you are getting what you bargained for
More shocker awaits you like electric shock
I stay abroad and to be blunt about it, a lot
of Nigerian men are engaging in this shame called contract marriage
A lot of them aren't divorced for fear of losing their lives or funds or both
A lot of them are already in Nigeria trying to tie the knots with a victim
who they will keep in Nigeria as "the Nigerian wife" and breed kids for their selfish ends.
Will the girls open their eyes? No "greed" is its name!
Redbotafly story story story, when u see am abroad guy you wull rush him many of u live fake lives on blogs ,which one is if u see abroad husband u wont marry,what if he wants to take u abroad, u will say no? Anakogheri.Nigerian lafies wey like Abroad giys like anything come here dey pretend. Mtchwww
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Delete@chikyclassymee Not everyone is like you. I turned down a man who is and still is abroad to marry my husband who lives and work in Nigeria, because I didn't have peace about him. Not everyone lives fake lives on blogs where they are anonymous. Y will I lie on a blog, cos of you? Do I know you?
DeleteChickyclassy Mee, not every one is crazy about abroad. Though we may be few, but the 3years I stayed abroad didn't make me desperate to settle for contract marriage. I wanted it to be real. Sure, I met a couple of men, two were Ghanaians, one was doing his PhD, the other was my landlord, didn't like any, met a couple of Nigerians, only one stood out, that I like, but I wanted to know who he really was, so gradually I asked him all the questions Chikito highlited down 👇. I found out he had a 10 year old son and he was just 34! The baby mama with his son was in the UK but where he wouldn't say. He just relocated from London to Manchester. He was comfortable, that was a red flag. I just felt there was more, so I left.
DeleteI am back to Nigeria with a paid job, this was two years ago.
So not everyone likes abroad or contact marriage.
Bitch keep quiet.
DeleteOld hag. No one will even want to marry a trouble maker like u
Chikkyclassyme dont mind her. If u see her ehn u will understand better lol she will so jump at the opportunity stupid bitch
DeleteI hope say you never enter one chance.. All these "Abroad " men one needs to shine eyes.. .
ReplyDeleteThey are preparing to come home this Christmas to deceive gullible people
Our MUmu don do
@ANONYMOUS ORUBEBE
Hmmm. Why do the men that want to marry have baggage? Imagine him, sayinghe would have listened to his friends but you can't pastor? On the slighter side, this is why men lie cos they want to smooth operation, they don't want the woman freaking out, at least not before they have gotten what they came for.
DeletePoster, decision is up to you, If you know you can't cope, take a walk now.
Poster even if your guy is a divorcé pls don't ever contemplate marrying him. Most divorced guys have alots of bad altitudes and baggages that's what chased away their first wife. If divorcé altitudes are awsom why did their first marriages crashed.
DeleteBiblically, its a sin to marry a divorcé, if you so you're living in formication. Its better widower that a divorced man.
Run poster, run run ..start running intact borrow usain boot shoes.
Thought it was autocorrect and you went and repeated it again. Attitude, attitudes not altitude.
DeleteIntellisomething please write correct English naa
DeleteThe only real question you need to ask is if he paid the lady or had her consent or tricked her into believing it was a real marriage. People who trick ladies are a different kind of evil. If no trickery involved, then you have found husband. Don't let contract marriage stop you. Go ahead.
ReplyDeleteLike stella said,ask for a divorce certificate.
DeleteAlso ask about kids so that it won't be that he has kids over there and child support will stop you from enjoying him well.
Also ask him to spill all his guts now or else he will receive your bad side if you later find out.
LEP😛
Men and lies like 5&6.
ReplyDeleteBabe please take your time and do more findings.if u aren't satisfied with how much u know him or the Revelations coming please opt out no use hurrying into a dead end.
Although i think he's only trying his best not to lead u in deceit which I think is a good thing.
You don't have to tell a man everything you should have just asked for time to think the news through. whether u wanted to discuss it with whoever u please shouldn't be his concern
Hear your self "you have been talking on phone and he proposed after you visited him" and your desperate self opened mouth and said yes.
ReplyDeleteTBH you sound like you were desperate to get married and I'm sure you were one of those girls denying potential men when they were toasting u when you were much younger just cos they didnt have money.
What else can i say to you? I'll see if I can put you in my prayers
The poster might have been desperate to say yes to someone she has seen only once.
DeleteBut this stupid misconception on potential men toasting her should not come up. Most of those potential men are looking for who to devour, what is the guarantee it won't be misery too? Amongst the girls you've dated, how many have you married? So stop all this trash about potentials.
You just reminded me of a guy friend I know that just got a job, and I asked him how far marriage, he only laughed and said not anytime soon, though he looks like he got "potentials" in his gf's eyes but he will default Though this his gf's is new, and I only laughed and told him, if he doesn't have potentials when he has a job, is it when he had none, he had the potentials? All these are tales of guys to date as many girls until they are ready.
And no girl is ready to be one of this girls, unless there is money involved, to relieve the pain. Tell me, who wants to suffer for nothing?
Chai🙆 for a guy to be this mouthed 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
DeleteAbeg free the man Jor... What about me that is 30 with 2kids forming 26yrs and single. Right now he is setting up my own company and we are going car and ring shopping... I can't shout. Am I married? yes... Is he married? Yes. But I presented myself as a single girl. At least my children can feed/ clothe and school.
DeleteSometimes we do things we never intend to do...
So it's either you deal with it or move on. No-one is perfect.
Hahahahaha welcome to this side Stern. I look forward to reading more of your hilarious comments.
DeleteBut wait why do I always believe you are our own James? Are You? (Never mind; I know you won't answer that).
Why are you guessing her age? How can you guess her age by what she wrote? #offkey
DeleteWhy does anything age tick you off Chikito? Shebi you're claiming everyday youngie, meanwhile old age is setting in and you keep pretending not ready for marriage when in the actual sense no marriageable man has come
DeleteThings people will do for papers. My sister please let him go, God acknowledges that marriage as a marriage. Yours will be an adulterous one. I'd advice you to let him go and see how you will be rewarded with a much better tear rubber guy.
ReplyDeleteFrom this write, he is obviously an abroad husband. My dear, You can hardly get one without baggage. Its just few of them that are clean. Either you take ur time and look well before diving in or you walk away. Na management everybody the manage them. Lols
ReplyDeleteBE CAREFUL AND INVESTIGATE BIKO
ReplyDeletePlease can someone be kind enough to drop USA whatsapp link. I just learned about it.
ReplyDeleteThanks,
What do you need it for. Get busy with more important things abeg. I guess you just want to hurriedly join to look for 'abroad husband' before you return to your Naija. Well done
DeleteDon't marry a liar. He probably has kids, debt, diseases that he's not telling you about
ReplyDeleteIt's a lie. Marry him. Don't let him go. Adulterous ko. Joyce meter is on her third one
ReplyDeleteAkuko. Is she Joyce Meyer? Their cases are very different.
DeleteIf you are not or you have never accepted a man with baggage, don't go ahead. Respect your premonition. It could be your life saver.
Many of them do it for paper, so far they have parted ways, you have no problem
ReplyDeleteTruth be told, some unstable 9ja men go into contract marriages with a white lady just until they can get on their feet.
ReplyDeleteYou should be happy that he decided to come clean with you before taking you to the altar(most people won't), now it's time for you to dig in and exhume everything. Make more inquiries and know the exact situation of things before having/canceling the wedding.
Wish you all the best.
Pastor pastor everytime
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. You have to do further investigation.
ReplyDeleteThis kind guy can stand you up on your wedding day. Shine your eyes.
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ReplyDeleteI thought my browser said this comment didn't load? 🙄
DeleteLet it sha load my comment to that anonymous idiat up dia 😏
My dear. Run away from this man! He can kill.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking you were going to say discuss with your parents. ..pastor? So you you are one of those? Well I understand the man from.his point of view.
ReplyDeleteYou need to do more homework, wait for him to come back, do more research before you say I do.
Trust me , i will give it to him, he's honest, compared to the lying lots we have today. That doesn't mean he's completely clean.
I put it to you that you will still marry him, leave the gragra, no be abroad man again? *flings hair*
Ah! Na wa for some of Una oh..... If Na to form calmness for blog Una go line up. When it's time to apply that calmness in real life kosi.
ReplyDeleteYou too why did you mention pastor to his hearing?!! Don't always be dramatic. Master the art of staying calm when God is bringing you gist that is like fresh fish and plantain porridge. Cos in life many-a-sudden news from hubby and kids will shock you.
When you meet a man who lives in the abroad ask him HOW he got there. Was he born there? Was he offered a job there that got him residence permit? Did a relative file for him before he turned 18? Did he go through a visa lottery? ASK first. Don't just assume. And when asking don't ask as if you will be upset at the outcome. Be calm and ask that way he will tell you the truth and stay smiling. When you hear it all, then you can look for a reason to leave if you choose to. If you did this you won't get to this point before you have this information and you would have been able to slip away easily on the grounds that you had asked and you were told a lie. But I guess you were too carried away to ask?? As usual?? 🙄
This is my advice: If he clearly married the woman in a mutual agreement, for papers and they have long gone their separate ways, then chill. See, many Nigerians do that to live abroad. Be not deceived. Both men and woman do it hush hush. I know someone who 'married' his elder sister just to port and her husband was very aware and gave his consent. Esp cos it relieved her with the kids and nanny bills for sometime. If he tells you now will you now vex? When his life is faaar batter today than when he was here jobless for 7 years after grad. You never know how desperate a person can be when Nigeria frustrates them. I also know someone who condemned it, but 2 years later they were doing the same thing after bank sacked its staff.
The only part that I don't like here is his response after you got upset. Getting upset is expected but his response no be am. And that's the major issue for me. Maybe he's hiding something else. And you would have been able to get all the information, if you stayed calm. Now that you've mentioned pastor how he won't say the rest so easily.
Hope when you were gbenshing him you talked to pastor about it too? You didn't? I see.... 👀 when situation no too favour you Na it you remember pastor abi? #oshisco
Madam you try too hard. You're 31 so act your age.
DeleteI sha like that he told you first cos if he told you after the wedding it would have been a shocker. If you leave him in his next relationship he won't stay so long and keep quiet about his previous marital status
ReplyDeleteStella gave u the right advice ,ask for divorce papers, I don't like men that marry for papers sha, what if the white woman appears out of anger.well look well cos some Nigerian men marry cos of papers and he should have told u
ReplyDeleteIf it is a contract and already divorced, please go ahead but ask for divorce documents. Naija guys used arrange marriage to get kpali. All the best.
ReplyDeleteObodo Oyibo husband, you better take a break and be sure he is not telling lies. Be sure yet before you enter one chance.
ReplyDeleteSomething seems off about this guy in my opinion. Dating someone for two years and the person not mentioning he has been married before till few weeks before the wedding would take anybody off balance,so don't beat yourself up for being upset. This guy might want to emotionally blackmail you into ignoring everything and going ahead with the wedding like that,don't. Marriage is a lifetime thing,take your time to make your findings about this man, what else could he be hiding? What were terms of the former marriage. Also,do not take his word for it that the marriage has ended, insist on seeing the divorce papers. If he is a good man with nothing funny up his sleeves, he would go out of his way to quench your fears. Shalom!
ReplyDelete