Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmm......

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

ADVICE NEEDED ASAP

Hello Ma'am, greetings to you and yours. Had to send in this chronicle
after much deliberation, moreover I need your red pen and I think the
opinion of fellow BVs will help bring the closure I need. I'll try to
be brief, chastise me but please be lenient.

I'm a 26yr old lady, graduate, working and living with my parents. The
pressure to get married began when I was 24 but I convinced my family
to allow me finish school and earn some money considering how Nigeria
is, but now the pressure has heightened.

Mid-July, I met a 35yr old single dude through a married friend who
invited me to a wedding, we exchanged contacts. This dude had already
told his friend that he's looking for a serious relationship that'll
lead to marriage hence the introduction, well we became friends. He
works on a federal govt. parastatal and was averagely comfortable. We
went on few dates after the close of work, asked necessary questions and
we were satisfied, then we started dating.

Mid-august, he took me to his mum and brothers(dad's late). In my
presence, he told them to start preparing for introduction as he has
found his miss right, His mum gave her blessings.
I work on Saturdays while he doesn't, but I try to squeeze time to be
with him after close of work & on sundays. One weekend, he requested
me to do his laundry & I told him I won't be able to considering my
tight schedule(I work 8am-7pm Mondays - Saturdays). Sundays, I do my
home chores then go to his place to spend the day with him. I told him
we'll find a way around it.

One Saturday night at his place, I soaked his clothes in detergent (it
wasn't much) with the intention of coming the following day to wash
it. Got there the following day(Sunday), he was shocked to see me,
later I found out there was a lady in his apartment. I kept calm,went
to meet her in the kitchen where she was trying to make lunch, I told
her to finish up whatever she was doing and leave. 

My bf came and was pleading with me to calm down, that she's just someone who comes around to do his laundry in order to impress him, because she had
always crushed on him but she's not someone he can settle down with. I
knew it was all I lie and I kept telling him I'm not fooled. Well, the
lady went to the bathroom to wash the clothes I soaked..oh well..,
good riddance, afterall., I need the rest. After washing she left
while my bf carried the clothes to spread on the line then he started
apologizing.


Following day, I started receiving calls from his friends pleading on
his behalf, well I let go and decided to tread carefully. Then he
proposed to meet my parents. I told my dad and he gave his go ahead. The
Sunday he was supposed to come meet them, he developed cold feet and
changed his mind. I let it slide but we had a serious argument and he
said he's yet to make up his mind, moreover his mum felt its too
early, then he wants to take time to know if I'm the right
person...blah blah..


Two weeks ago, I feel ill to the extent I collapsed at the office and
was rushed to the company's hospital for treatment, moreover my period
was a day late. I was scared, the doc advised I come for pregnancy
test the following morning to ascertain the situation which I did. I
tested negative, in the midst of this this, I was carrying him along and
he said if I should get preggy, I'll get rid of it considering the
fact that he's presently broke.


That was the straw that broke the camel's back,I fought him. After
about four days, my period came and I felt relieved. I refused to pick
his calls because from my end, the relationship was over. I became
very ill again to the extent my dad thought I was preggy not until the
doctor told him he has confirmed my status negative. I was admitted and
he was aware. He refused to come visit me at the hospital claiming
anniversary at church.. I was crazy. Our mutual friend that introduced
us came to the hospital to check up on me and he declared his hands off
our relationship that he's not sure my bf is as ready as he initially
claimed. 

He told me to move on and I started preparing to.


The following day at the hospital, he came visiting and I gave him the
cold shoulder. He apologized endlessly and waited till I was discharged
at night. Well, I was given 2days off work to recover and he came to
take me out. We had long talks, he apologized, gave excuses but I told
him I already reconsidering the whole thing. He begged that I should
give him time, that he also doesn't want to get it wrong maritally
that's why it took him this long to settle down.


My dad's birthday was on Sunday and he promised to call him (I already
gave him dad's number when he tried to reschedule a date to come meet
him but dad instructed me never to talk to him about an unserious bf
but ask me to give my bf his mobile number to call him if my bf has
anything to discuss) well, he ended up not calling my dad.


I'm hurt because this is a guy I've made lots of sacrifices for. Many
times I've made dinner for him from my pocket because he was broke,
not to impress him but to support him. (Sometimes he refunds me, other
times he didn't).

In all this, I've let go, trying my best to move on. My mind is
settled and free because the handwriting on the wall clearly points to
his unreadiness. I'm not without flaws too, I'm confident to say I've
worked on myself to a great extent.

My aunt, my mum and my friends already told me to leave him and walk
away for my sanity sake but my heart is fragile. I've decided to be
patient till December ends and weigh his level of commitment.
He's all I want in a man but his attitude speaks volume.
I'm worried I may meet someone worse. Please advice me like a lil sis.
I'll be reading comments.

Million thanks.

*What is there to advise?You want commitment and Marriage and he doesnt...Move on my dear!!!..Waiting until December ends makes no difference,your present boyfriend is the type referred to ask time waster...Before you know it ten years would have passed and he will still be there apologising !!!