Why Kill Over Infidelity?

Every woman wants her husband to herself. Men can't even bear the thought of sharing their woman with another man. That is evolutionary biology for you. 

That said, all the headache associated with spousal monitoring in marriage is a fool's errand. Cheating/adultery like many sins, are situational and opportunistic. Catching a cheating man or woman in the act is not worth losing a sleep over, much less killing for it. Why take a life because of infidelity? It is insane.


In the prime of our lives, most humans yield to influences and opportunities. Most especially, we often yield to the chemicals of our lives. It is the effect of culture, social mores and religion that helps to moderate these influences.


My advise is; in any relationship, friendship or marriage, please leave room for a man or woman to be human. Leave room for betrayal. I know a woman's nesting instincts influences us to want to legislate faithfulness. Biologically we do this to protect our offsprings. We want fathers to cater for their children.


Life has taught me that the maximum number of years, a man can roam and sow is 10 years. After that, his eyes and penis go into disagreement. By age 40, most men begin to prepare for penile retirement. These days, the unusual combinations of illicit drugs, blood pressure medications, alcohol and low T, speeds up the retirement. I don't see why a woman should lose sleep over a passing phase. While a man is in decline, a woman becomes da bomb between 33 and 50. At this age, she is no longer ashame of her body and she is at her sexual prime. She does this with aplomb until the ravages of menopause like vaginal dryness starts stealing her thunder. With hormonal therapy, this phase can be elongated for another 15 years while the man thinks about Viagra, oysters or street corner Burantashi to wake up.


By middle age, male or female, everybody is gentle. School fees, midlife crisis and other demands of life does not make cheating very attractive as it used to be. So, why the wahala? Why kill a wife, husband or sever a penis? Our great grandmothers married younger wives for their husbands when they became too old and tired to wash agbada, cook, clean and have sex. There was peace. The younger wife usually became a wife-servant. We can learn a lot of life lessons from how they lived in peace. With washing machine, cooking stove, microwave and modern conveniences, we seem to have it all but less happy. Why? We must think and decide what these hypermodern demands is doing to marriage and relationships. Some people's marital requirements looks more like qualification for sainthood.


I am not a man, but I understand them enough to make informed judgement. I urge ladies to invest in themselves. Have a job, invest time in a hobby, take care of yourself, your husband, your children and your home. If you love a man, let him roam. For the men, it will take the combined effort of Sherlock Holmes and Houdini to catch a cheating woman. With birth control, mobile phone and social, don't even bother monitoring.


If you read this as an endorsement of cheating/adultery, you need to hire a tutor to teach you English comprehension.

By Bamidele Ademola-Olateju