.Please sit back and soak in all the details....This is a true life story.
For the most part we don't even want some people's husbands. And the ones we want so desperately aren't even as Randy and those two-for-a-penny ones. Those ones hanging on a thread? They just can't keep their penis in one place!
I do not have car of my own (yet ). Not like I can't afford one but damn responsibilities!! And my younger sister lives with me. She may not know how much I spend on clothes and accessories, but trust me any big thing will definitely make the news at home. And then mum starts calling and making extra demands because she would feel I am loaded enough to foot them.
My point is, every damn day I walk down the street; one neighbour or another is eyeing me.
The other day it was Fola, the next door neighbour. His wife? Prayer warrior. We don't sleep at night. I try to respect her, him and infact the whole neighbourhood by being in my small space. But what does he do every time I walk past? Stares at me smiles and until, it graduated to winks. Was he expecting me to get the memo? Lol, I did. But every runs girl knows not to 'shit' by her doorstep. There are levels to this shit and frankly, if you're living in a similar apartment as mine, you definitely are of no use to me.
I was only at my gate waiting for my uber driver who was running late. I had kept chairman waiting and I was getting edgy. Decked in my leggings, sheer sleeveless blouse stopping on my hips and my strappy heels. Fola was driving out and stopped to offer me a lift. I quickly cancelled the uber and hopped in. He asked where I was going, I told him. He asks what I was going for; I gave him this ugly stare that made him know I wasn't in the mood for such a conversation. I went on to tell him to let me get down, if this was going to be an interview. He apologised and we continued the ride.
There were 5 minutes of silence before he asked me where I was from, and went to to say more about himself. Turns out he is from the same village as my grandmother!! But we arent related or anything. Anyway, we started analysing music playing on the radio and it was a nice drive actually.
Chairman sent a text me that he had only one hour because he had and important meeting. I replied that my driver ran late and I was on my way. Wait oh??! You think i told chairman I don't have a car?!! Haha! Chairman believes I have 2 cars, a driver, I live in my own house in Gwarimpa, and I'm about to own a newer bigger home in Apo from my 'international business'. Abuja na packaging oh! But don't worry, he's about to make all that a reality *giggles* I hope my plans pull through. Today is the day I show him my business plan for possible expansion of my 'business'. I'm definitely not coming back without that N50m as first deposit.
So we got to Sheraton and he was kind enough to drop me at the valet area. I gave a nice smile and said thank you. As I came down, he squeezed my butt just before I slammed the door and drove off. Oh God! I felt very upset. Damn butt in these leggings always causes wahala for me. As I turned to walk in, chairman's PA was just exiting the building and spotted that scene. I said hello to him and quickly rushed to the elevator.
I got to chairman's designated suite, and security opened the door. I walked in, and sat waiting to be called in. Finally he got a beep and told me 'you can go in'. Immediately I opened the door, chairman stood facing the window, backing me with a lit cigar in his hand.
"Good afternoon darling". I dropped my bag to jump on him as I had planned to do.
Chairman sent a text me that he had only one hour because he had and important meeting. I replied that my driver ran late and I was on my way. Wait oh??! You think i told chairman I don't have a car?!! Haha! Chairman believes I have 2 cars, a driver, I live in my own house in Gwarimpa, and I'm about to own a newer bigger home in Apo from my 'international business'. Abuja na packaging oh! But don't worry, he's about to make all that a reality *giggles* I hope my plans pull through. Today is the day I show him my business plan for possible expansion of my 'business'. I'm definitely not coming back without that N50m as first deposit.
So we got to Sheraton and he was kind enough to drop me at the valet area. I gave a nice smile and said thank you. As I came down, he squeezed my butt just before I slammed the door and drove off. Oh God! I felt very upset. Damn butt in these leggings always causes wahala for me. As I turned to walk in, chairman's PA was just exiting the building and spotted that scene. I said hello to him and quickly rushed to the elevator.
I got to chairman's designated suite, and security opened the door. I walked in, and sat waiting to be called in. Finally he got a beep and told me 'you can go in'. Immediately I opened the door, chairman stood facing the window, backing me with a lit cigar in his hand.
"Good afternoon darling". I dropped my bag to jump on him as I had planned to do.
"Does your driver now spank your butt when he drops you off"
I knew it! Damn PA didn't even ignore that. Oh Fola!!
"Baby....Won't you at least offer me a seat?"
"Answer the damn Question!!"
Wetin I wan talk abeg? I was quiet oh. I took a seat and lit my own cigarette. I even went on to pour myself a glass of wine. No matter how it was gonna go down, I deserved a glass of wine.
"You mean you're one of those easy Abuja babes eh?"
I was still quiet.
Chairman wore his shoes, his cap and glasses and walked out on me.
I didn't know when I burst out laughing in anger. What a day!! So what will I do with this my business plan now eh?
Security man knocked and says "Ma you have 10 minutes to exit the room please"
I told him that was okay. As soon as he shut the door I said to myself "Why is this Fola so stupid? Later that his wife will be blocking my ear instead of her to give him hot knacks so that he will free innocent neighbours like us". I made sure I left with the bottle of wine and the bottles of champagne on the cupboard. I need to entertain my friends when I call them to come and hear this gist.
Guess today wasn't my day..... And I guess that's what happens when you don't decide to ignore people's husbands too.
*I have modified the headline to suit anyone sending in stories.....So it would be good to assume it wont be just Abuja runs girl writing in.
hahahahaha i love the picture chai Runs girl?
ReplyDeleteCongrats to any runs girl. I know it is not easy
Fola is a typical example of "acoba adaba, olorunmaje a ri"... Lol.
DeleteMake una summarize
DeleteHehehehehe had to read jare, very funny
DeleteProstitution is never a wholesome activity. The man there is a prostitute as well as the woman.
ReplyDeleteWhereas the woman will be at the receiving end socially and morally, the man goes unscathed. It is not new. It happened in Jesus' time; Jn. 8.
The point is that we women should be wiser to comport ourselves and decry greed and damn the wayward husbands that will not stay with their wives.
Lol! Don't do jealous men o! They are road blockers.
ReplyDeleteGbam! Big road blockers nne
DeleteKpeleπππ
ReplyDeleteAll the packagings waste!!!
Another day go come
Welcome back dear
Deletenice this will soon be my fav post. more please.
ReplyDelete*hangs leg on the roof*
*Your runs leg you mean?
DeleteLmao kikikikiki
DeleteThat your neighbor is a true definition of oloriburuku..stupid Man, so how will you go about executing this your business plan? The thing pain me pass you sef.
ReplyDeleteAs in eerr, a very stupid neighbour. Madam runs make sure the idiot pays that money ooo, he can't make you lose like that and go Scot free. Silly somebody.
DeleteHaa see how the stupid Fola messed u up and that running mouth PA nko. Eiya! Oburo obele ife
ReplyDeleteRuns!
DeleteNa to set the useless P.A up o if na me.
DeleteEveryday for the thief but today is for the owner.
ReplyDeleteRuns girls always thinking they have more class or levels than prostitutes. No matter what you call yourself, either runs girl, prostitute, ho' or a harlot, alla yall are the same. Classless and despicable women of easy virtues.
ReplyDeleteChai,easy naaa
Deletewhy are you shouting?
Delete*hangs leg on the roof*
hahahahahahahaha aswear broke men with tiny penises have no right to cheat whatsover.
Delete*hangs leg on the roof*
Biko carry your judgemental self out of here.your type naim dey fuck ashawo for free.
DeleteThe thing wey de pain me be say de spoil the word "hustling " for the legit babes striving hard for success
DeleteLol. A better chairman will come.
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
*Deep breath baby girl, deep breath*
ReplyDelete*Oya exhale sofly*
*Oya Comment*
First of all why do y'all two-a-penny hos get all antagonistic and disrespectful towards people's wives
You can just drop your fake ho story and move da Eff on but no, you have to mock, slander and malign wifey who is on her own lane
So in the end you got nothing from Chairman
You see why I said you are a learner, smart babes can wangle out of any situation but not you. Time Wasted = 100%, Effort = 100%, Work Done = 0%, Result= 0%
Find a day job boo, this your runs aint just cutting it
Can i like your comment, that's what they do here mocking and insulting *the wife* as if she forced them into runs
DeleteNo 1 rule:professional runs girls don't go about disrespecting wives,Some even become friends with the wives of the men they are fucking because they re there for their own share of the money except for those that re sent from hell to break homes.And na those ones dey do jazz pass.
DeleteHmmm...why would fola squeeze your butt, what kind of familiarity is that?
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this piece thoroughly
ReplyDeleteYou are a professional. No need arguing with Chairman about what useless PA has said. Just enjoy your wine in Peace. The quack in me would have declared Fola to be my brother. I might have even offered him knacks so he is well motivated to do the job convincingly. What do I know eh?
ReplyDeletePs: Ashawo na work o
Alright
ReplyDeleteIf some married men have not succeeded in disgracing themselves and their family, they will never rest.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why I have a problem with broke men with small dicks cheating. And some chics will just lose respect for the dear wife unto see the rubbish dick this woman dey chop and she still dey form.
Men stop cheating abeg na, especially if you are broke.
But why will kola squeeze your butt after that small conversion? As per handshake don reach elbow. Mtcheeeew!!!
I like that you didn't argue with Oga Chair make you no come too fall the hand wey already dey ground.
#Ashawonawork #Ashawodeybuildempire ππ
And the vexing chairman is also a married man. Abi?
ReplyDeleteLol
You could given the stupid man hot slap how dare he spoil your business plan,I no dey like this kind thing at all...
ReplyDeleteImagine, as if the Chairman is not married....
ReplyDeleteππππππ.....better luck next time dear.
ReplyDeleteMen can jealous...To all runs girl out there, more packaging to u name body jor. Its not easy
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha...
ReplyDeleteThe Fola guy has transferred his badluck on you!...
Don't worry,another chairman go come!...
Hmmmm
ReplyDeleteu pple are confused set of human beings,jst imagine hw sm hel dis RsD. i pray d nxt chairman shld be ur husband dat will waste such a huge amount on usless girls,then,u will cm here nd tel us ur husband cheat's on u,u wnt 2 sek devious
ReplyDeleteHIV is real...play safe or close up.
DeleteDnt get bothered Annon, this might not be a true story
Deleteπ€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£
ReplyDeleteThis cracked me up so badly that I have tears in my eyesππππ
I can’t imagine what you will do/say/feel the very first time after u set eyes on Fola after todayππ
Why do some parents burden their children so much? If only they knew what their kids get up to to meet their demands. It's a shame really.
ReplyDelete