Naija men I hail o!
I mean like really, how do you close your eyes to sleep? knowing that you just basically wasted 3weeks of somebody's time?
As I'm typing this eh, it's paining me on behalf of my colleague o, it's really really paining me... Ah ah, don't these men have conscience?
My sisters in the house, have you ever encountered a PTW, I mean a Professional Time Waster. Not the average ones o, I'm talking about those ones that when they open their mouth eh, even the devil will sit down to take notes.
But finally eh,i blame this girl small o, if she had read from the basic "Runs Handbook 101" by V.S . She would have known the steps to take on how to become a successful Runs Girl.
I'm a nice person, and I will share it here.. Thank you, don't mention.
How to become a successful runs girl.
Step 1
Profile your Client:
Have you seen the series 'Criminal Minds'?.biko, kindly go and get a copy. You must know how to profile your client, and basically tailor every format to suite them. You will be able to tell if you should form or be yourself, if you should be good or bad, in short down to if it's dating that will make the bobo drop money sef,and how long it would take. But my sister, you must be a criminal profiler o!, to avoid stories that often touch the heart.
Step 2
Dress, look and sound the part:
Upgrade your wardrobe! . You can't be pursuing someone with a 7 figure salary with clothes from Yaba. These men will size you up, and know how much you are worth from head to toe o!. Carry yourself like you're worth a million bucks even when your account balance is like Jamb score.
My sister you need accent o! British or American is okay, but if you really want to go exotic, kick in a bit of French when pronouncing French words. LOCAL ACCENTS ARE PROHIBITED!!!!!
Step 3
Be customer friendly:
Shebi you know how polite and professional MTN customer care used to be?
Ehe!!!!..
Make sure that your line is available 24/7. No too much talk for this one.
Step 4
Keep yourself busy:
My sister, you must not be always available o!, this is counter productive and damaging to the career.
Step 5
Know when to walk away:
You can't come and go and kill yourself away, whether it's when the main boo walks in OR when you just know that client is an OloriBOOruku ,know when to carry your wahala and go.
If all these steps are followed, last last you go dey alright, Just remember, VEX MONEY IS YOUR FRIEND O!!!!!
Ndewo, till we see again, I will be back soon eyeh?
P.S- If your husband's name is J*** and lives in Asokoro, and you were calling him this morning while he gave me a lift home, please what's the name of your perfume? It's very nice , I forgot to take the name down while spraying it.
This lecture is bad lol....
ReplyDeleteE don land..........hilarious read. Your P.S is so funny.
ReplyDeletehehehe..
ReplyDeleteHmmm... am not understanding this series
ReplyDeleteMe too
Deleteyayyyyyyyy it's on! Now let me go back and read😂😂
ReplyDeleteStella I'm not understanding again oo. I thought runs girls will be sending in their stories.
DeleteAnon 13:25, u like amebo.
DeleteRelax, the real amebo will soon start.
All these just to be a successful Runs girl? Lol Upgrade your wardrobe, how can an intending Runs girl afford expensive clothes?
ReplyDeleteThe requirements too much nah.
She go first dey sleep with fuck boys to dey get small small change
DeleteNice lecture
ReplyDelete"Carry yourself like you're worth a million bucks even when your account balance is like Jamb score"
ReplyDeletei don't know if this is funny or otherwise.. but best of lucks in your endeavours.
However, SDK, can you kindly enlighten us on the value of this post to the BVs and we can know how to choose our subject matter to read and engage in.. Gracias
Exactly I don't know the reason for this post, it sounds like lessons on how to become a professional runs girl. Stella says is supposed to discourage girls but it sounds encouraging if you ask me, we have young girls on the blog in universities whose peers have been trying to get them to go into runs, giving this topic a platform kinda exposes them. P.s this is simply my opinion
Delete😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteThe PS is so hilarious
the purpose is for the stories to enlighten and discourage people from runs...She is just starting and yet to find her balance but she will get here....Reading is easier than writing!
ReplyDeletePlease be patient with her!!!
Ok. Cuz i got a lil confused thinking shes here to groom intending runs girls.
DeleteExactly Sherikoko, that is what it sounds like. Entertaining, yes, but it looks like it is aiding and abetting.
DeleteSame here Sherikoko. I was reading with a strong face like, Stella can't be supporting runs na so why this? OK fingers crossed. Nice explanation Stella.
DeleteYou are entertaining no doubt
ReplyDeleteBut a correct runs babe will never sleep in a married man's house, pilfering madam's perf. Nah
A correct runs babe sets her standard, either they sleep out in 5 star hotels, or the man rents and furnishes an apartment for her, and visits her there
Men that sneak in babes to their matrimonial beds are very bad for business, too stingy.
There is a big difference between being a runs babe and a f*ck-a-bout.
She said the man gave her a lift
DeleteHmmmmm you are so right
Delete@ The Obeserver, so she met a man for the first time today, entered his car for a lift and started spraying wifey's perfume immediately abi? As she did not spray before leaving her house. OK o. Very wonderful somborri she is 😁 😁 😁
Deletelololololololololololol @ the P.S.
ReplyDeleteAs I no wan be runs girl na, this one no concern me.
ReplyDeleteHandout 101
ReplyDelete😁😁😁😁😁
Stells it'll be nice to hear narratives from runs girls too. Real life stories so that people can learn from them. Should be more interesting that way.
ReplyDeleteThese steps are seriously serious
ReplyDeleteHmmm nothing comes easy o. Even to become a runs girl requires so much money. Let me come and be going.
ReplyDeleteScuse me, SDK, i thought this particular write up will entertain us with the escapades of a runs girl. Abeg which kind tutorial be this na?
ReplyDeleteOriegwu!!
ReplyDeleteNice...i like ur write up...
ReplyDeleteThese can only be news to naive people na! well I didn't know this column is just to lecture us on how to become a runs girl. If that is the case then it won't just be interesting . I'm guessing the main just will come later,maybe I should be patient
ReplyDeleteWanna join diz runs something buh don't know aw to go about it.Runs z beta Dan tucking a stingy bf for free.
ReplyDeleteLWKMD @ the last paragraph...Babe you're mean.
ReplyDeleteInteresting read btw
There's this married guy that's been on my case, we met on a flight from London to lagos. He calls me and just gives me loads of cash at random. We've never been intimate but I'm just worried. He says he just likes me🤔
ReplyDeleteYou see those cash
DeleteAnother ladies life paid for it
You are about to pay with your life for it to keep flowing
Keep "enjoying" blood money
A lady NYSC member serving in the north tasted and sampled until she got hooked on an alhaji all because of the huge amount of money the young alhaji was doling out (imagine giving a corps member 500k monthly). She was planning to marry him after the service year. The lady had noted that this man always wore a glove in one hand (the left hand). On inquiry, the alhaji told her that his doctor in London told him to wear it so that he does not get a chronic wound infected. In the last month of their service, she visited the man's house for the first time (they've been meeting in a particular hotel all the time). Permit me to quote her verbatim from hence; ". . .He asked if I wanted to see his wound and I said yes. He slowly pulled the glove . . . and I let out a scream . . . I wondered how on earth such aggregation of maggots were in a man's hand and never crawled out. he asked if I loved him and I said yes . . . He told me that I should lick his wound to prove my love . . . and when I declined, he sprayed a bottle of perfume on me and that's all I could remember . . ."
DeleteWell lady fi. . .(her name) was met while having maggots coming out of her vagina for 6 long hurtful years. She was so afraid of death that she couldn't believe she will no longer die even after prayers and fasting and she was healed (maggots stopped coming out). She understood from her then Alhaji boyfriend that her death after 7 years was to shore up his wealth for another girl to enjoy since another girl paid with her life for the one she enjoyed during her service year . . .
Mmhh collecting money?
DeleteYou've taken the first step towards opening your legs
and breaking another woman's home/collecting curses
Stella, please drop this series. The message is wrong . This is teaching any impressionable young girl on how to be a runs girl. Ur platform should not be used for such.
ReplyDeleteIf the writer wants to help then she should change it to "The perils of being a runs girl" so to discourage girls from doing it instead of encouraging them . Thanks
Ehnn, awon holier than thou. Dey don come. If you don't wanna read pls waka pass.. thanks
ReplyDeleteNo be small thing
ReplyDeletePoster pls fuck off with these stories. I hate this column with my body, soul and spirit. I hate the glorification of prostitution. Next thing will be posts glorifying homosexuality and beastiality. Only a matter of time. Gosh
ReplyDelete