Caught!!..HAHA!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
UNDER PRESSURE TO MARRY.
my sister is approaching 30 by January next year and yet no suitor.
she has been under pressures from many people even my parents.She is fair and pretty and they wonder why she is not attracting any reasonable man,sometimes they will even be saying her village people are after her.
She has not been in a relationship for a long time now and she is not flirty yet no reasonable suitor has come to seek for her hand in marriage.
My main reason of writing this chronicle is that there is this man she used to know when she was 25, she thought the relationship was going to lead to something beautiful but the guy left her and married someone else, the thing is that now the guys wife died in June while giving birth to their 3rd child,that is two girls and a boy.now the guy is coming back to my sister begging her to marry him and accept the children he has already.but my sister said she won't accept the proposal since the guy made her second choice but the thing is that my mum is insisting she gets married to the guy since she is already getting older.
It is bothering my sister that she is not married but this proposal from this guy is really bothering her because she is having pressures everywhere both from family,friends,relatives.
Please bvs I need a mature advice from you people on whether to go ahead and marry him or still be waiting for a better half. Stella please your red pen is needed.thank you
LOL...your last paragraph gave you away,I knew it was a direct report when reading.
No one should be forced to Marry under duress....The choice is yours,especially as other kids are involved and you will be nursing a new born child....think carefully before you make any decision.
Good luck.
Please dont do it and dont let anyone pressure you. At 30, you still have a lot on your plate. Pray to God Almighty
ReplyDeleteIf the man is rich, handsome, accommodating then you can give him a trial. Find out what killed the wife before you enter ooo.
Christmas is round the corner
She said the wife died while giving birth to the 3rd child. Lol @the last paragraph of the chronicle. Poster please dnt marry the guy 30 yrs of age is nothing
DeleteHave you tried to find out "why the wife died in childbirth?"
DeleteDo you really love this man in spite of being left out by him previously?
What do you know about him; faith, and how about yours?
Why did you have to pretend that it was your sister; is being unmarried at 30 a crime?
Even if someone is never married for life, is it a crime?
Please seek God and be rest assured, do not jump in and out
So she should give a man that dumped her years back for another woman a second chance if he's rich and handsome ??
DeleteYou should be a marriage counselor
My advise to the poster is that she should think carefully before making up her mind, as far as am concern she is still young and her man is just around the corner. What if the man's wife did not die? The man only needs someone to help take care of the children.
DeleteI really do not understand we Nigerians, why put so much pressure on single ladies? Haba, leave them and let them be, it will happen at the right time.
DeleteThe only help you can do is to put them in prayers for the right man to find them.
My parents are also guilty of this Sha.
But dem go hear word most especially our parents
DeleteThe man should hire a live in nanny and you should face front. Don't be pressured.
DeleteI alway told myself when I turn 30 and not yet married I will look for a sperm donor and have a child. Marriage for me no be do or die affair.. poster since u feel been 30 makes you too old to find love use the man as ur sperm donor.
DeletePls poster don't let them pressure you. 30 is not too old. Taking care of 3 kids won't be an easy thing. Just be calm the right guy will come your way
DeleteMy sister indeed
ReplyDeleteAt 30, no man has ever proposed to you, and you think it's ordinary?
DeleteIf you like, don't accept that man jejely before another sharp girl will take him from you, and your eyes will clear.
You think everyone is destined to marry "fresh husband"? Everybody destiny no be thesame o... shine your eyes!
Ps. I am a 26yr old proud step mom of an 11yr old boy and 5yrs old girl, my husband is in his 40s and he treats us (his kids and i) very well.
At the end of the day, it's your choice.
Right from the beginning I knew you were the one directly involved. Getting married to someone that betrayed your love is really not easy especially in a situation where you have to take care of the kids of the woman you feel stole your man. Having three kids in this economy alone isn't easy let alone having to add your kids Cus you will definitely have yours, so what if something happens to him in the future, you will have to be the mother to all these kids. If you can go beyond forgiving him and can stand his presence then fine, but if you still feel hurt by what he did abeg free him so you will not end up taking it out of the innocent kids
DeleteThe way some parents pressurize their kids into marriage is irritating.
ReplyDeleteShe should not marry that idiot, leather pray and be patient, her own God ordained husband will locate her.
Why settle for left overs?
Annoying chronicle.
Please let her wait for hers. Uncle is only looking for a nanny
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha
Delete@ omeh you are so mean
DeleteTell your sister not to marry that man, he's a bad market.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't he married her when she was 25 ? Let your mom calm down with her before she pushed her daughter into a furnace.
The mother should marry him since he's such an eligible husband
DeleteHmmm, na wa oh.
ReplyDeleteDo you love the man, are you at peace around him.have you told God about him,will your family be there when issues arise as a result of marriage out of pressure. At 30, you should know better my dear.
PS, taking care of a child isn't child's play, let alone children and you already have this mindset.
Think deeply
I'm a lawyer 30 and going to 31 by January, pressure left and right but I'm not buck instead I look up to God and I will marry the best, let it tarry I don't care but I know I will marry with kids to a good man, imagine the baggage you want to carry cos of bearing Mrs. It like you don't understand what marriage is. My dear relax n call on to God, fast if need be n relax he will do it, right now I have no one but I'm keeping March for God to be in my husband house
ReplyDeleteI love your faith and that good man you shall find in Jesus Name.amen
DeleteWow I like you you already,ive picked 3rd Saturday in April for mine,I'm yet to meet him but i trust God to orchestrate it.im a doc,can we be f friends😁..
DeleteFirstly,go for deliverance!!...
ReplyDeleteIf you are a single girl and no guy has ever taken you serious,please go and get delivered!!,...
Come to my church and see testimonies of single girls getting married after being delivered from all these marine spirits attacking girls!...
Secondly,marry the guy if he is wealthy!!...
It's only money that would make me to go for an okirika husband!...
Me I like dem new and young!...
None of my sugar sons is above 25!...
I don't eat shit!!...
🤣🤣😂😂😂😂🤣😂😂😂😂🤣 queeennnnnnnn ohhhhhh...okrika husband 🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂...u are too funny
DeleteLmaooo😂😂 @okirika man. Queen abeg i never chop..
DeletePoster If you don’t want to marry the man don’t do it. Better single and happy than married and suffering.are u very sure of the woman’s death? Cos it’s possible the man beat her while pregnant.
Queen Queen!!!
DeleteLol
Na wa oo, so a woman can not die during child birth again? @miss juliet
DeleteQueen.. l just love you.. You crack me up so much. Thank you for the laughs.
DeleteThe Queen which one is okirika husband again? This woman no go kill person with laugh.
DeleteIfe ka na agba m iyara mi iya bu ka mmadu ga esi bia na Blogu enweghi onye ma ya na asi asi na obu mmadu siri ya dee ya bu edemede Chronicle.
ReplyDeleteOnye Chronicle, oburu na ina aghota ife mu na ede, ife mu nwere igwa gi bu "imara aka di gi mma, were ye finye n'isi".
Nwanyi Onitsha ga asi "na aru gi ebe".
Ogwu ka oha mu na onu.
Elastic manchi come and translate what ur brada typed here.... Chike keep it up! 👏
DeleteAnonymous Rasta
So he left her to marry someone else and now that he's after 2, he has crawled back to her?
ReplyDeleteHe chose someone else cause he felt she was not good enough, now what?
He's a user and I think your sister should not marry him.
After 3 sef
DeleteDon't mind the yeye man.
Ehya poor baby you were trying so hard to deflect the insults from BVs to you by using your "sister".
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you're turning 30 not 50. It's always funny to me when people assume that once you get to a certain age, marriage should be the next thing. As far as I'm concerned marriage should happen because you've met the one and you both are ready. You clearly do not want to play second fiddle and God forbid I do that either. He could have made you his first choice but he didn't, so make him no choice at all. So you're not good enough to be number one madam but number two madam to come and take care of baggage. I like Chassis and tear leather if I can help it so why settle.
Please dear don't do it,wait for your own man and tell your mother to calm down. By the way, you shouldn't have told your mother about him if you knew you really didn't want him since you already know how pushy she is.
Also, I noticed how most of the calls from older people that I received yesterday to wish me a happy birthday kept talking about bringing man home soon and getting married next year. No one bothered to ask me if I even want to get married and to be honest the more they hammer on it the more irritating the idea sounds to me. I will marry when I want and at my own time. I'm not even close to 30.
Darling, you're an adult don't let anyone make life decisions for you.
Who is going for AKE festival? I'm ready.
Nice!!!
DeleteDoppel, are u serious. You going for Ake?
DeleteWanted to go but logistics held me back. Make sure you enjoy urself. And gist me when u come back
Doppel are you that young? I'm officially in love!.
DeleteYeah thought you were in your thirties too.
DeleteGreatlady, yes I am but on Wednesday and you'd get the gist.
DeleteAlternative facts, Hmmm okay love you right back.
Shut up Doppel! You go soon join level one runs with your fat ass. Playing saint mary shit! How many count you don registered as present?
DeleteJabo of life! Not like your email will be exposed, Stella guards that a lot. You should have just come out plainly.
ReplyDeleteDon't let anyone pressure you into marriage. Do what you know is best for you and follow your instincts. Instincts rarely fail.
I will not even advice you to marry that guy. Someone his wife died barelly six months is already looking for a replacement. It will not take him time to replace you too. If a woman does this, the castigation she will face will be out of this world. There will be insinuations that she killed her husband. In short babe run away from that man.
Exactly. Barely six months and he is looking for a replacement. Rubbish! No respect for the late wife's memory.
DeleteBia chike and the river be careful and comment in English
ReplyDeleteYou won't treat those kids well, so save them d torture n don't marry their dad before u transfer aggression of being second best onto d kids, cos they won't be able to do anything if u starve them.
ReplyDeleteBlackberry, you are one funny mama.
DeleteYour reasoning is out of order.
DeleteBB is so right. Don't go there at all before you go and start punishing innocent kids for what they don't know anything about.
DeleteThis is just d bitter truth!
Deletehahahahaha the Queen. You are just too funny. Please dont eat shit at all
ReplyDeleteMarriage is hard work, real hard work! I got married at age 32, I am beautiful with a charming persona yet there was no suitor in sight. My mother disturbed me a bit then finally relaxed. Today I am happily married to the man I desire and not a man I just want to "manage in order to answer Mrs.". My dear, think with your head first about what is on the table and envisage what the future may look like so that you can carefully make a decision.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you dear I love ladies like you
DeletePoster your sister's problem ?
ReplyDeleteNumber 1......Character!
Number 2......Character!
Number 3......Character!
As for marrying her ex?I believe she knows what she wants.If she can cope with the man's children she can go ahead and marry him.Then, if she can't no need.
Sexy pastor I doubt u read the confession.. What is character ³?? This is likely a spiritual problem or her time never come to marry.
DeleteTo the poster answer this question.. Are u a second hand clothing?
U better run away from that man cos hes only looking for a maid... U will change diapers, u will cook, clean clean clean clean etc
Anonymous Rasta
Sexy daddy why do u like yarning okpata. See your teeth like ndi Ezza.
Deletemarriage is overrated.
ReplyDeletePls do not mind the man but if you love him tag along. I wonder why he didn't come for you initially. Wait on God and He will direct your path.I am 43 and believing GOD for the best.It is well with you
ReplyDeleteAnd you shall have it, amen.
DeleteI'm 38, single, still praying. I won't even marry such a man who left me as an alternative.
ReplyDeleteShe is old enough to know what she wants, they should not put hr under any unnecessary pressure please. Every one has his or her own time for marriage.
ReplyDeleteVery wicked man just six months wonder why men cannot mourn their wives for even a year.Let me ask you a congent questions if his wife did not die will he rememeber her or why did he dissapoint her since every thought they will end up together.Is your sister a standby generator she deserves better.
ReplyDeleteThis man doesn't love you, you shouldn't even give it a second thought. You'll marry the one whom God has destined for you if only you can be patient and trust in Him. You are only 30 madam, have a free mind, don't let anyone pressurize you. The funniest thing is when you finally find the one, you'll look back at those days you were so desperate and laugh.Be patient poster!(hammering on the word patience because it seems you are already giving in).
ReplyDeleteMy honest advice is for you not to marry that man. 30 is quite a young age to settle down with a user with baggage. It is too early to replace his late wife, that tells you the kind of a man he is. If it is for the sake of his kids, he is marrying you to be their unpaid nanny. As for your mother, when she disturbs you again tell her to do what other mothers do to ensure that their children get married. Most mothers go to the mountain for their daughters. As for other people, tell them when you are getting married is your private life that is too expensive, beyond what they can afford. Enjoy yourself and have fun, your own man will come.
ReplyDeleteGod's time remain the best, so i will advice you to wait for it.
ReplyDeleteI am 35 n still waiting........Abeg take your time. Omo if you marry this guy......no honeymoon for you. This guy thought is how he will hustle to feed his children. While you become nanny. You will be preparing three children for school. I do not think he will allow you work.
ReplyDeletePoster I know you will still go ahead and do what you want to do,but I would advice you don't give in to pressure when it's marriage. You are the one that will live with the man and not your parents or friends.
ReplyDeleteThat he left you then may be God's way of telling you he isn't for you.
Go for deliverance,and pray to God to send your own. I married at 32,and have a friend who married at 37+. Some guys that left her for other women are struggling today,while she is enjoying in a better country.Were both happy and fulfilled.
If you like being considered as leftover, go ahead and marry.
ReplyDeleteJust know that all the people 'pressuring' you won't be there for you when the chips are down.
POSTER: one, why is she not attracting good men except good for nothing people when she's pretty should be a source of concern for both you, your sister and your mother. Ask your sister to go to prayer city for serious and hot deliverance because something is definitely wrong somewhere.
ReplyDeletesecondly, let her pray and ask God for direction. God knows the beginning and the end. Although i don't like the idea that the man left her and married another. And come back after the demise of his wife. let your sister pray because its not easy to take care of another woman's children.
For me, i cant marry him because of the circumstances involved and let your mother stop pressuring you into marriage. There's still room for a better offer.
Let me give you my humble advice. Am a man and married for almost two decades and with children. Please don't marry him. It won't work. My reasons are as follows. At 30 you have never experienced marriage and motherhood. It takes a supportive husband and the grace of God to help even his wife to go through pregnancy without breaking down these days. Now the man has 3 kids within the age range of 5 to less than a year. This is the age kids make you go bunkers especially if they are not yours. They will throw tantrums and they need a lot of attention. Plunging right in the middle of this with the intrusion and interference of his late wife's relatives will break you down in no time. Mothering other people's kids at that age will totally wear you out physically,emotionally and psychological. You will never be good enough in the eyes of the man's friends,relatives and judginas. Already you feel angry and disappointed that he chose his late wife above you. You will always have that pain of being the other available option in his eyes. And if you end up marrying him when do you intend start having your own biological kids. What if he tells you he is not ready to start having additional kids now. And even if he is ready can you handle 3 kids while battling with your own pregnancy drama of hormonal changes and conditions. I hope the first wife didn't die as a result of the child bearing rush....I feel 3 kids in 5 years is a lot for a woman these days. I hope you look at the facts on ground and let reality be at the forefront of what your decision will be. But for me it's a No!
ReplyDelete# come back and thank me later.
I thank you now my dear. U make sense jare. Wise words
Deleteyou hit the nailbon the head... In the bid to bear mrs. Some people jump from frying pan to 🔥 fire
DeleteOrelaaaaaa! Your husband don lock you for house since then. How nursing market dey go for you?
DeleteI want you to ask yourself the following pertinent questions as that would guide you in making the right decision.
ReplyDelete1. Why didn't he marry you when you guys dated? Did he give you any reasons? Were you unserious with him or did you display any attitude that put him off?
2. After he got married did HE keep in touch? Did he ever indicate that he regretted not marrying you instead?
3. If you guys kept in touch, did he give you reasons to believe that he was still attracted to you or that he still likes you a little?
4. You said nothing about love and feelings. So the question is do you love him?
5. Would you ever get over the feeling that he chose his deceased wife over you; will you be able to forget that he refused to choose you when he could and chose another over you?
6. Somewhere down in your heart, do you feel that he is choosing you now because he knows his children need a new caregiver/Mother?
7. Do you think he loves you?
8. Can you be a loving mother to three children whose father chose another woman over you?
9.Would you be able to forgive him for not marrying you in the first place; would you be able to truly love him?
10. Why are you considering getting married to him? Do you feel that no other man would come your way, Do you just want to hold on to this man who might not really love you but just needs a mother for his children?
11. When you dream of marriage, is this what you see? A step-mum to three lovely children?
12. Have you braced yourself for the challenges that might come with this kind of marriage?
13. Do you have a relationship with God? What have you heard him say about this?
All the best Lady, but NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS JUST BECAUSE YOU FEAR YOU MIGHT NOT GET SOMETHING BETTER.It will turn you into an unhappy lady when you realise that you could actually have gotten better.
The thought that you could have had something better will always make you discontent unhappy and unfulfilled
even JAMB no dey set 13 theories at a go. haha watappen?
DeleteShe was still sucking and riding his dick while the man was still married. He didn't just pop out of a sudden. Just thinks mr/ms preacher.
DeleteShe's a bitch and a whore! I can bet that she killed the poor innocent woman
#Never make anyone a priority, who makes you an option*
ReplyDeleteApt.
DeletePoster always remember this
Poster...... watch before you leap . I won't say don't marry him oh but think it through. Because with toddlers in the house how will you cope as a newly wed.
ReplyDeleteIf you think you can care for the children like they are yours, go ahead. But be prepared to exercise a lot of patience and tolerance
Poster you don’t have that confident in you, that’s why you started with it’s your sister buh ended up being you. Think straight being 30 yrs is not the end of the world, and don’t be desperate about men rather be desperate with your prayers while talking to God. That man left you because he didn’t not find you worthy of been his wife, now the woman is dead he is coming back to marry you. Now LISTEN UP no man is doing you a favor by marrying you, you are way young to act desperate go on your knees and check your behavior work on it the right man will come because you can’t keep being good for friendship and not worthy for marriage, search your heart and you said you are beautiful work on your behavior and ask God to break every chain holding you down because when it comes to marriage no man looks at the face rather they look at the heart, good luck the sky will be your starting point....you will come back and testify
ReplyDeleteHe left you and married another person now bcos that one died he want to come back. Babe borrow sense small okay. My question is why did he leave u and marry someone else and what if the wife did not die will he come back to you?
ReplyDeleteYes oh!
DeleteU dont eat ur cake & have it.
Just tell him as God hates divorce, so U hate widowers🙌🙌🙌
The year is almost over will be 36 years old in January still no boyfrien. I trust God completely. It's is not easy waiting on the right man. People will say Don't rush but being lonely can drive you insane. Born again Christian and celibate for 4 years. It's well. Poster don't marry a man that abandoned you please. You are God's latest not 2nd best.
ReplyDelete...and will u remove the wife's pictures in the house when u get there? Cos definitely, the children will resent u for that. They will always believe u came to replace their mother.
ReplyDeleteLet's not even talk about the world people, a lot will even accuse u of killing the woman so u can take over her home.
There are those that will swear that u were dating the man while he was still married to his late wife.
Then let's talk about his children. Do u think it's easy to bring up kids that are not yours? Especially with all their tantrums and stubbornness?
I can't even marry the man even if the wife was my sister not to talk of when I have no blood relation with the kids.
Remember the woman's people will always come to check on the children, so they will be a constant presence in your lives.
U will be accused and called a lot of names like witch, husband snatcher, wife killer, children beater, etc. On top of these, u will be expected to be a good mother and wife.
But if u think u can love those kids as your own, be patient with them, keep a shut ear to all the criticisms and just face your and the kids life, then go ahead as those children are still quite young, if they grow to love u, I tell u in the next 10 years, nobody will know they weren't yours biologically.
U can go watch 'sounds of music' its an old film but it teaches a lot. St. Maria ended up being the best nanny and subsequently step mother to seven kids and they loved her dearly after all the treachery they meted out on her.
But rem, we are not whites, Africans face far much greater challenge than whites in this situation do.
That man did not see you as been worthy as his first choice rather a second option. Infact,he still doesn't love you rather he want to make you his nanny.If you marry this man poster you will regret it. Please go to mountain of fire for their weekend or weekly deliverance then follow up with 21days mid night prayers and thank me later.. That marriage is a capital NO to me
ReplyDeleteDon't marry him. He is looking for a nanny.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, don't try it o. Next time that thought crosses your mind, just bind the devil kiakia. Even the real mum of those kids would get worn out taking care of them how much more you that has no experience. You would never enjoy being a new bride or a first time mum . That man just wants a nanny he can trust not really a new wife. You would be bitter and unfulfilled most likely in that marriage. Abeg this option is suitable for a 50yr old not 30. Those mounting pressure on you may even have worse things to deal with, you just do not know. My cousin once gave me a pastor's number bcos I was 29 and unmarried, funny enough we had picked a date for intro. 3years after my mum had to settle a rift she had with her husband, she then lamented they hadn't had sex in 4years. Meaning 3years ago when she gave me number, she hadn't slept with her husband in a year. DON'T EVER GIVE IN TO PRESSURE. it's your life and yours alone.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the advice I really appreciate and I want to correct the impression of you people saying its me.please she is my elder sister me am just 23.i just pray she gets married soon.thank you all,love the advice,i will make sure my mum sees all u people have said so that she can stop pressuring me that is 23 and my sister that is 30 to get married.thank you all once again.
ReplyDeleteYou are lying bitch! Its you home breaker
DeleteMbanu!
ReplyDeleteReject him too now same way he rejected u before & went & married another girl. Politely tell him that ur not interested in widowers or interested to become maid / helper for another woman's children. Instead better go & adopt own from orphanage!
Shikena!!!
Sorry, it's fair to also snub any man who rejected u in the past. And tell him now to go to hell!
*i personally have a thing of checking up on past boyfriends to see what & where they r now. And believe me my prayers of curses r very powerful upon them 🙌
Either they r now broke, married & unhappy or divorced or sick, or in serious trouble in their life.
I laugh & say Ntoor😝😝😝 to them.
And if any ask me again for relationship, i just trash them mercilessly & openly shame them with curses & embarrassment.
I'm a believer that u don't eat ur cake & it again. I never consider any man I've dated in the past!!!
she should go with her mind,her mum wouldn't be the one living with the man
ReplyDelete