This is a hard one alright.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHEN THE PAST CONFRONTS YOU
Please post this under chronicles as I would love your advise and those of your BVs.
I attended secondary school in Lagos there weren't lots of students so we all knew each other. While in universe I met one of my classmates from university and I was so excited to see a familiar face after so long. He was shocked to see me as I had blossomed and become prettier. In sec school I was ugly and one of the girls boys never wanted to befriend or take to the dance.
He hung out that day and had fun.
He had a place in campus and invited me to hang out the following weekend which I did.
On getting there he brought out expensive alcoholic beverages asking me to choose my choice. But I chose Irish cream as I love it.
We were watching a movie and gisting and drinking. (And looking in hindsight I realize he kept refilling my cup but wasn't drinking as much as I was). That was the last I remember next morning I found myself in my bed and when I went to use the bathroom I found lots semen on me. At first I was confused but then little flash images of the night before started to come in.
I was so furious that I confronted him. He initially denied it but when I threatened I was going to report to his parents(I know them). He admitted to the truth he also admitted to drugging my drink and he kept apologizing. I never spoke to him again after that, walk pass him, nothing!
The main reason for this chronicle is that now I reside in the US and I work for a very good company here. This same friend met up with another friend of mine and the got talking and realized they both know me. This old friend then requested my number that he needs my help with a job in my company apparently he put in an application a while back and hasn't heard back from them.
Our mutual friend called and told me, asking me to help this friend. But he doesn't know our history and I didn't discuss it with him.
I have forgiven this guy for my peace of mind, however recent events have brought this old anger up again.
What do you think I should do? Help him out or ignore him?
Please Stella I value your advise I would also love your red pen.
Thanks
*Help him if you are in the position to do...If you help him you free yourself and heap hot coals on his head...lol
Since you have forgiven him please help him if you can. You have let go of the past, free your mind.
ReplyDeleteGirls getting drunk always ends in getting pounded.
DeleteBeware!
Don't help him. If he is a better person (as some people here claim) and know the enormity of what he did, he won't even be asking you for help, shame no go gree am.
DeleteIf possible tell your mutual friend that you won't be helping him because he is not a good person. Let him get the message and know that there are consequences for being bad.
Stella shame on you. You want her to help her rapist. Omg am shocked at you. Dont pray on rape on your enemies. Talk more of helping yhem gain financial independence.
DeleteDON'T HELP THE BASTARD! HE'S A RAPIST!!! SOUND IT, SOUND THE ALARM, RING THE BELLS!
DeleteRAPIST!
RAPIST!!
RAPIST!!!
HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN SENSIBLE!
Please don't help him, he's not a good person
DeleteMy dear, I would have screamed "Don't Help him like wtf who does that" but unfortnately i just had a change of mind.
DeleteHelp him if you can and if you re in the position to cos by doing so, you have heaped coal of fire on his head.
if you have forgiven him ginuely help him and hand him over to God, if he then choose to pay your nice gesture with evil by running his mouth, God will contend with him.
Simple.
Help faya, so that he can come and start raping people there abi? He doesn't even have shame.
DeleteWhy should you help him?
DeleteIf he has committed the same act on other girls after you, you are responsible for not dealing with the rapist.
To ladies out there, if you ever find yourself in this suitable, just quietly wipe yourself with tissue and hold his semen. You can destroy that man forever with that semen.
Foolish rapist, he is very lucky. And you still want to help someone that drugged and raped you instead of thinking about how to destroy that his prick... okay ooo.
Help who? God forbid!!! Lai Lai! Poster no try am! You have forgiven! You don't need this kind of action(assisting him with a job) to prove that! Do not block his file but do not help him! If just hearing about him riled up such anger, imagine what his constant presence and seeing him daily will do to you!!! You will burst! Do not help him o! You don't owe him jack! He has guts sef! Asking for your help, obviously he has no shame or remorse for his actions...Rubbish!!!
DeleteAunty please don't help him.
DeleteForgive him if you've not.
Helping him in your organisation is like standing as a referee for him. Please don't stand in for a rapist. He might kill someone tomorrow and you will be held responsible.
Help who? Why? Please don't,how will you cope with seeing your rapist everyday? Forgive him but let him find someone else to help
Delete@Spirit
DeleteNo wonder you are "spirit"
You do not understand what happens in that human geographical space called Nigeria
Even in the USA,
The guy can simply claim that you came to his house and had "consensual sex" and that ends it!
The question is; did you girl go to his house?
What did you go to do there if he was that bad?
How do you prove beyond reasonable doubt that it was a rape?
If you must help him, Help him but not for the sake of heaping a mountain of coal on his head. He isn't your enemy ......
DeleteHe did something very bad, u have forgiven and moved on. Dats good.
He seeking for help has reopened old wound and u have every right to be angry.
If u feel u can help, do it. May God give u direction.
Halaba
Do not help him before he rapes someone in the company
DeletePlease help him. Forget the past and move on...help him because that is what Jesus would have done..
DeleteSorry o I won't be helping a rapist. I'm sure your not reporting him didn't make him better and he has probably repeated the same thing to another innocent girl.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I saying sef, someone who should be cooling off in prison. Not helping him doesn't make you a bad person. He suddenly needs your help, what if that rape made you catch some disease or something.
Anyway, you're probably a better person than I am but forgiveness doesn't mean forgetfulness. I won't help him.
You're always on point!
DeleteGbam!!! I will not help him out period.
DeleteThank You, poster, don’t help him.
DeleteIt depends on whom you worship:
DeleteRomans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Poster you have forgiven and that should be the end of it. Wish him luck. The company will call him if it's in God's plan for him. He should be ashamed asking you for help in the first instance. I don't see it as taking revenge. I'm getting disgusted sef.
DeleteAnon 15:25,it's always convenient for you people to quote the Bible to justify wrong doings.
DeleteJust because she didn't report him then doesn't mean all Is well.
Do you people even know the emotional and psychological trauma rape victims go through? Do you? Especially one who had to push it at the back of their mind that it never happened because people will judge them or blame them.
Already some people are down there blaming her for drinking with a guy and this is for the married people with kids here; according to certain people here your girls and even boys are not safe because they hang out with their friends and share drinks with them. In fact, if they get raped while hanging out and taking a drugged drink unknowingly to them they deserve it right? It's sickening to see some responses when it concerns rape and it tells me that rape culture is not going to change anytime soon.
Carry your Bible quotes to the prisons and tell them to release all convicted rapists after all they are also repentant. Have you seen someone who was caught for a crime who isn't repentant? Oh and after they grant your wish, make sure to take them into your homes where you have your children to live with you.
I am not God, I was only made in his image. If not forgiving a rapist, makes me a sinner then I'm cool with it but I won't be recommending someone of bad character to my company instead I won't do anything to stop his entrance and I won't help either let God do his will. If truly he deserves the job then it would happen. Else, all this story story is none of my business. I simply won't be a party to employing someone with such character however how long ago he committed the crime. He hasn't done time for it and I won't wait till he strikes again. If this poster had committed suicide after the incidence, you all won't be here quoting Bible but you'd first judge her for going to hang out with him before attacking the rapist. I repeat, I won't help him and I won't support a victim of rape working in the same environment as her rapist.
anon 15:25 I would love to meet you in real life. Personal reasons 😂😂😂
DeleteIf I hear say I help am.. Rape???. Naaahh.. He just acted like nothing happened. He should have started by apologizing for the past, yes! But we'll, you're not me!
DeleteDoppelganger you aired your opinion and minions crawled on it praising you. Why attack the innocent and simple opinion of that comment based on the person's faith, the bible? Disagree respectfully and move on. You're so easy to tick of, could that be why you're single? The irony is you're smart so I'm surprised you're this way. This is a sincere comment, I like you but not this intolerant aspect.
DeleteBible quoter,have u ever been taken advantage of? Against ur will? Well,I won't help that he-goat. I won't. Dnt help him
DeleteAunty doppelganger yaf vex, taking it personal, could she be speaking from experience?
DeleteDoppelganger 👏👏👏
DeleteGbagam!!! On point Doppelgangie
Delete👍👍👍
DeleteListen to Doppelgänger!
DeleteSomeone who drugged you and raped you. This is not an opportunist, he committed premeditated rape and then moved you to your apartment and covered up his crime. He made choices!
Of course forgive him and try to find healing for yourself but recommending someone for a job in a place where you work is a big responsibility. You cannot vouch for his character, in fact you have evidence that he is dishonest and violent. Why would you recommend that kind of person?
@Doppelganger
DeleteAnon. 15:25 is back
Please we need to understand the meaning of "forgiveness"
and what it does not mean
It does not mean free from prosecution/blame
Even if the girl reported him and he was convicted and served time
And after that was in the USA looking for a job,
This lady can decide to help him get a job
What will that do to him?
Exactly what Stella wrote up there; coals of burning sulfur on his head!
This is the Lord Jesus' prescribed way of sending "Holy Ghost fire" (for those that are always chanting that)
to the enemies and "killing them"
That is why a Christian is different from other people
Forgiveness also does not mean that she should embrace the boy/man as a friend
If she thinks that she can cope with seeing him and his shamed self in the same employ,
she should go ahead and help him
He will even be the one dying everyday seeing his sin staring him to the face and not crushed like
many of his victims.
A colleague at work once dealt with me in a most unimaginable way.
We were doing a work together and hoping to receive accolades like we've done in time past
was my junior (slightly)
There was a mistake, an accident at work and instead of accolades, our jobs were on the line
especially the one that did it.
I was denied by (?-permit me not to mention gender, you don't know who reads)
? was expecting me to be fired but I was not due to my antecedents in the company
Had saved them millions before and maintained an impeccable professional conduct.
I know I had a problem in my hands in the person involved; the work space has been polluted and
I needed to win ?? back . . . prayed and fasted about it.
I was ready for the team work we always did and the goals we score
I knew ?? had been wanting to buy a particular brand of "electronics" that ladies like for his wife
It will cost close to a month's salary (in dollar I mean)
I ordered it online and approached his office
?? was agitated as soon as he saw me and thought I came for blame
opened my bag and dropped it on the table, he was agape
?? wanted to embrace me but was too ashamed
I did so; embraced ?? and thanked him for being a wonderful colleague
we are okay and have gone ahead to score many more goals together
Today, ?? can take a bullet for me and has actually done what looked like it!
My sister was raped by a very close friend and prompted by his family, he denied her.
DeleteShe lost a year at school, birthed a lovely boy and moved on with her life (married to a wonderful man who adopted her kid).
I was in my first job one day and the guy walked in (didn't really know much of him but recognized him base on my sister's child's face)
He had been employed to work with us and worked directly under me
He thought I was going to undue him and was "taking cover" under the big wigs of the company
I was laughing within me because I had not such plans.
One day, we were to hard pressed and being a senior colleague, I could take a break whereas he could not
Usually during breaks, he drank coke/ate buns
I usually drank a particular brand of grape that costs 1000k naira and good meal
I bought the drinks and good takeaways for him and myself; he was shocked!
We both sat and ate together and chatted
That was how I won him over
I could share scriptures with him and he's been a good pal at work
Never discussed the "sore points" and don't hope to ever do
Anon 19:34
DeleteWhy didn't you just use a fake name? Could make neither head not tail of your epistle. Waste of my time.
Not the same!!!!!+
DeleteAnon 19:34, To be honest you shouldn't have returned because your returning just shows that you lack in depth knowledge of:
Delete1. What rape means?
2. How it affects the victim
3. Giving to ceaser what belongs to ceaser.
Don't bother coming back to explain because I'm highly disappointed at your come back but please how is rape and work competition related in anyway? How do they even come close that you're using your work experience to compare a crime committed against another? Apologies, but in my organization work competition is seen as healthy so you don't relax too much and no one has gotten arrested or crucified over it.
What you and I would not do is tell a victim of rape how to react because I have never been in that position and clearly from your thought process I can say the same for you but I have seen how badly most rape victims end up while their rapists live fully daily. You also need to understand that a rapist is sick mentally and until that mentality is changed or cured, they don't wake up one day and stop and no it is not a demon that can be cured by kabashing non stop. It is not the same as embracing your please, don't bring up such references again in cases like this. I have said enough for one day on one issue. If you are not knowledgeable on sensitive issues it's best to stay off. She doesn't have to help him, he wants to get special treatment through her and she is not obligated to him because the Bible also condemns bribery and corruption. Let him go through the recruitment process like other candidates or is the Bible against that one too? Kmt.
@ doppel
DeleteYes I RETURNED
Rape is very bad
It is inhuman
But it is not "sin against the
Holy SPirit"
If you do not forgive
You succsr the consequences
*suffer the consequences.
DeleteWith all the responses I have seen here I can now safely say that there are really few Christians in this world...jeez
DeleteThanks Stella...
DeleteDear poster help him if you can and leave karma to deal with him...
ReplyDeleteThis one hard o, Cus he really hurt you, my Christian mind is telling me you should forgive him, but my normal mind is saying don't get involved, like don't say spoil the job for him but don't help either. Chai it's not easy
DeletePoster,help him if you wanna help!...
ReplyDeleteYes he wronged you and he has already apologized...
He was immature those days and I think you were giving him a green light...
See,being just friends with a guy no dey work in this country!...
If you don't wanna fuck a guy,don't go to his house period!!...
I don't mind your knacking pigeon comments, I take them as jokes. But this one wey you talk so na error
DeleteI don't know how some guys do this shit. Because of OTU you drug/rape a girl.
ReplyDeleteChukwu napu ekwensu ike.
Poster as you FUCKgive try and FUCKget. Help if you can. But have it in mind that he will come for you again because some guys gat no shame.
Stella, rape is always a violent crime. Poster as there is a conflict of interest, mind your business, or are you in the Hiring department?
ReplyDeleteThat's the devil looking for your trouble again. Please avoid that guy as much as you can. Do not help him. Men always think they can do rubbish and just say sorry... then boom! the evil is suppose to just vanish. Please forget you guys ever met. This should serve as an eye opener to you guys that think life is all about drug and sex.
DeleteAnd you the poster too... see wetin long throat for expensive wine cause abi?
Forget long throat for expensive wine. For the guy to have drugged her evil resides in him. That guy has guts oo.. Immediately the other guy mentioned you he should have called to apologise profusely again not ask for help. Avoid him if you dont want to write in again. Before you know it, it will be "God's plan " for you guys to reconnect. Avoid him shikenan!
DeleteWhat if she died or had a counter drug reaction to the drugs he put in her drink. If she was an other medications you arent meant to mix together.Would he have been forgiven then.
DeleteI can't stand rapist,especially those that go the extra mile to purchase rape drugs from quack chemist.
Sometimes I wonder the sort of advice dished out. I know someone that got drugged by her supposed bf in school and a pregnancy was aborted by his doctor friend. She almost died. Just because she refused an abortion.
Poster do not help that devil.
He may come into your office and start attempting such with the young girls there.
Majority of them don't change. They can get any girl they want. But they get a high from rape.
Forgive him but pls don't help him.
Forgive and forget, I mean forget him, let him find another job. Who knows what he will do once he gets that job and get a better salary..?
ReplyDeleteLass Lass you will be alright
ReplyDeleteThanks Stella for that piece of advice. While helping him, do not endanger yourself again.
ReplyDeleteYou sounded like you did when you mentioned "recent events". . .
Did you succumb to alcohol binge with a male "friend?" again?
Please girls do yourself a favor by not indulging in alcohol or drinking with a male you just met.
Imagine if this very girl had collected hiv, Hep B or pregnancy (belle; according to Stella) from this toy of a boy and probably died from disease or trying to abort, the boy will get on with his life; isn't it?
Pls stay as far away from the rapist as possible. Such ppl have bad karma which will in turn negatively affect good ppl around him. A guy that raped u,needing you? He will soon rape others close to u. Sister,run.
ReplyDeleteHelp a rapist...do 360 turn and eyes right abeeg unless you want another story to totori you mbok
ReplyDeleteGirls please learn.
ReplyDeleteThe rat should not follow the lizard to jump into a pond. Whereas the lizard may come out unscathed, same is not the story for the rat.
Do not join men to drink alcohol; it does not always end well. When you get drunk, you are vulnerable and will be drilled improperly!
Help him out as you are now the bigger person as Stella rightly said the heap of coal on his head if he has ulterior motives.
ReplyDeletePlease beware of his sweet tongue
ReplyDeleteAfter helping him, he does not owe you "marriage"
Do not be surprised when he presents such "offer"
I understand you dear, don't pay evil with evil..if yu are in danger position to help him,please do so...cos no one knows tomorrow. ..the tables could turn and it would be his own turn..
ReplyDeleteDo not lift a finger to help that rapist! Let his erring penis be his stronghold.
ReplyDeleteForget since you have forgiven but will he be working with you at the same place?that might be uncomfortable!!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, that's a question you must settle first;
Deletewill you like to be seeing the face that raped you
everyday at work?
And why do girls accept a date in a man's house?
Is that not accepting sex or to be raped?
A man you just met after years; you didn't really know him
But even if?
Was thinking same,seeing him everyday, how would that feel.Just tell him u can't do it that it would inconvenient u.God forbid bad thing! Secondly, u requested for ice cream and notice he was filling ur cup,why didn't u stop him?Anyway d deed has been done,parting ways is d best.
DeleteJust forgive and forget, help him since he already apologizes to you...
ReplyDeleteJust let go please
Don't help him
ReplyDeletePray he shouldn't be employed self
Coming close will always open your healed wound
I will advice you with excerpts from yesterday's chronicle:
ReplyDelete1. Forgive and forget all that happened
2. Be a bigger person
3. You are heartless for not forgiving after so many years.
4. Are you married? If not it's cos you have not forgiven this guy so better forgive him so God can bless you with a good husband.
5. Sit down there waiting for an apology when the guy has moved on and has even 'humbled' himself enough to extend a hand of friendship by asking you for a job
I hope you people know that forgiveness cuts across ALL sins? So please comment well cos I will be comparing with yesterday's own, where everyone suddenly became a loving forgiving saint, who bears has never borne a grudge in their life 😂😂
I laugh in Spanish!! Come, nne do you work in HR? Aunty, if you truly work in a large organization, there a procedures that do not make his employment dependent on you. I hope you remember that? He should follow due process. Apply, let the CV get screened, if he meets the criteria, he gets called in for an interview/ a test, if he passes all stages, he gets the job, you will be very happy to be his superior colleague. And then!! A way to truly forgive will be when you don't do anything to jeopardize his employment status, just because you know how to. Period! Now all you have to do is build the career you worked hard for and let others build theirs.
Let's assume that guy comes and drugs a colleague of yours, repeats the same thing, it will now be you that they will call as his referee. Do you know if he has changed? Abeg don't annoy me this afternoon.
Oh look..:: I just checked and is 2:11pm Nigerian Time 😂😂 #jokes
This is a totally different issue. She is allowed to forgive and forget and the only way to forget in my opinion is to avoid the rapist or repented rapist.
DeleteMy dear are you serious right now? This isn't even funny, like these are two different things, how can you even equate that of yesterdays to rape. Aunty RAPE? Haba this is not nice, you too think am... nawa o,
DeleteOh I see your sarcasm. Yes, no?
Delete@kiks nope! I disagree. Sin is sin and forgiveness is forgiveness. If God doesn't select the sins to forgive, we shouldn't either.
DeletePlease walk away from his matter.he is a rapist... He didn't deem it fit to control himself, he only said sorry cos you confronted him(if not, you know)he only came to you because he needs you to help him with the job.all these years,he didn't look for you at all till now.
DeletePlease,revenge is sweet,you would feel better after it than forgiving (religionish)just walk away from the negative energy he is bringing.
We are saying the same thing at the end of the day. I said she should forgive and forget all about the guy. Two different issues I said not two different sins.
DeleteI see, my darling. Just the same way poster of yesterday should forgive and forget about her in-laws right? 😎
DeleteDo not help.I repeat do not help.in fact don't even forgive him.why would Stella be preaching forgiveness to you when she doesn't see eye to eye with Linda ikeji over a mere gossip that broke them apart years ago.madam goody two shoes.nonsense.if you like post at least you read it
ReplyDeleteI am an HR professional. Lets keep sentiments aside and look at this from a purely professional perspective. Basically when you refer someone for employment in your company, you are indirectly saying that you know this person and they are trustworthy and relable. So: Do you know this person? YES. Are they trustworthy/relaible? NO. Answer DO NOT HELP HIM. You will never forgive yourself if he rapes or harasses another person, and you tarnish your own reputation if he turns out to be a bad hire.
ReplyDeleteLets analyze sentiments and religion: Forgiveness does not imply you go out of your way to help your rapist. My dear lady, forgive him but you definitely have no business being in the same environment as him. I am even more upset that he had the galls to ask you for help. If he had any shame at all, he would not even have asked you. My dear christians forgiveness means you let go of the past. But this past definitely has no business in your present. You DO NOT need to see this guy and be reminded of an incident that you barely got over. Do you guys understand that this is somebody that deliberately raped her. He wasnt that young, he knew what he was doing and drugged the poor girl. What if he is still a rapist??? They say once bitten, twice shy. It would be a colossal mistake to be in contact with this person again. I say OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND. And all you commenters asking this lady to help him. If you were in her shoes, would you refer the person that raped you for a job in your company??? I guess not. So poster, please whatever you do, stay as afar away from this guy as possible.
Thank you and God bless you. Sorry I have to be all over this post because apparently some people work in companies where they trash integrity and good virtues. Imagine, if rape wasn't what he did but he murdered someone. Would they be asking her to still help him? That's how much we look down on how heinous rape is and why it's important to get rapists to do time. Wo, I'm done before they'd say I'm the one dropping the comments but I still expect them to say so because no sense.
DeletePhew! Thanks for breaking it down.
DeleteTrue talk cos u don't know him too well to trust him better not to endanger itself trying to help him. Forgiving him doesn't mean u should trust him again. So pls tell him straight that u wish to help but u cant cos u don't trust him again. Period
DeleteStella you obviously didn't think think it through. This is the best comment here. I don't usually do repetitive replies on this blog. I just sieve through comments that align with my thinkubg and this was just perfect.
DeletePeople forget the trauma this girl will be facing everyday at work seeing this guy. It's obvious she hasn't fully healed. So imagine an incident one is trying to forget. You now see that face daily.
DeleteNo rape is worse than the other but I have a true dismay for those that spike people's drinks. They are murderers. And it is pre-meditated rape.
That also isn't his first time. It is probably his pattern
Do you know how many girls this monster has spiked their drinks?
I'm annoyed sef.
Thank you
Delete@Anoymous 15:44 thank you for this comment. If only the poster knows the danger and implication of referring people to organisations.
DeleteThank you
Deletehelp him but keep him at arms length. all the best
ReplyDeleteNa wa. Poster thank God you are in a better place. Forgive him as you have said but don't help him at all. Tell your friend that there is due process to follow. If he is lucky he will get the appointment.
ReplyDeleteYou can pretend you are helping out.
Foolish guy that spiked your drink all to lash your otele and enjoy ponyor.
This is like karma. Nonsense
Let me give you my humble advice. Am a man so you don't get confused from my own stand on this issue. It's simple....DON'T get involved. You will be sticking out your neck for someone who is not to be trusted when he is comfortable. He didn't apply through you so why pull strings on his behalf. If you want to influence his application will you tell the personnel in charge he is a good person? Let it slide. You have forgiven him. If anyone is indebted to anyone it's him owing you some form of compensation. He once took advantage of you don't give him the opportunity to do it again. Let him sort himself out through his application and let the human resources deal with him like every other applicant. A word is enough. Don't bring back an unpleasant past into your stable present. Can you handle seeing him every morning at work? Can you feel comfortable seeing him flirt or get comfortable with female colleagues at work without suspecting he is doing something wrong to them. Will you forgive yourself if you discover more of his exploits after he has joined your company knowing that you influenced his appointment. Just DON'T get involved if you want peace of mind. It's that simple. Forgiveness is from within not by using some good deeds to validate it.
ReplyDeleteThank you and God bless you.
DeleteGbam! @deal with him like every other applicant. Wurz now her own? Hian!
DeletePoster Pls follow dis advice, don't help him cos you know he is not trustworthy, he took advantage of you once trust me if you give him opportunity of that job he gonna take advantage of you again this time it may cost you ur job.
DeleteOshey
DeleteIf you know you have forgiven him ,pls help me and live him to his conscience.
ReplyDeleteIf you know what is good for you, better shift away from that rapist. Help him out and he will offer a 'relationship' with you in 'appreciation' but most importantly, to level the awkwardness of that previous dehumanizing act.
ReplyDeleteDon't bother protesting the thought of it, you won't even know when you fall.
He will present himself as a selfless and changed person, Love will happen and in a short while you WILL end up in a psychiatric hospital with what he will make out of your life.
If you like, form christian and heap coal no one sent you to pack. Bible said you should resist the devil and he will flee from you. See the devil trying to mess up your peace. You are already angry, an indication that your equilibrium has been tampered with, na here you wan form born again. You should be watchful about that mutual friend incase they share similar values. Don't be a bloody pleaser, create no space for toxic people or situations.
YOU COME FIRST.... Protect yourself!!!
Forgive and move on.... not bring close.
If you appear tomorrow with a deadly chronicle, Stella will scream OMG! OMG!! OMG!!!
B. Vs will blame you, the story will tingle the ears and you may never forgive yourself.
Empress CHO
Don't help him. You will regret it. In fact if your company ask for your thoughts say you would not hire Hime. Someone that went thru the process of adding drugs to your drink. He planner it. He's not your friend. He's evil
ReplyDeleteHelp who? Don't try that oo. He will do worse to you I'm that workplace if you do. Forgive him but please cut all ties with him.
ReplyDeleteDon't think because yesterday's poster was bashed you are the same please.
If all u hv narrated id nothing but the plain truth, don't hlp him. I guys that takes advantage of ladies, who knows hw many ladies he has done this to. Foolish rapist like him don't deserve anything good.
ReplyDeleteDON’T HELP HIM!!!! You helped him enough when you didnt report him to the police.
ReplyDeletePoster don't help him even if you can. let fate deal as it pleases. let him & his application speak for him.
ReplyDeleteYou have forgiven him & u won't be committing any sin by not putting in any word for him. Just tell the friend that told you abt him that the HR will decide if he gets the job. don't lie abt anything nor bring up any past issues, just act normal like you have always been @ ur work place.
Your only requirement for your sake above all others, is to forgive.
ReplyDeleteEverything else is extra.
Do not allow people to emotionally manipulate you either through religious verses or guilt to do what you clearly do not want to.
Would he have reached out to you if he didn't need a job? Shameless animal.
Any rapist I catch, I will push a hot iron rod through that hole in their penis let them know how it feels. Beasts.
POSTER, don't help me but forgive him . You must not pay him with kindness to show you have forgiven him. In fact, give distance yourself from him. Some offence is punishable. That you were kind enough to let it go does not mean what he did is right. Don't attach silly emotions to this drama and you don't know if he has changed to a better person. Let him realize that karma exist that will make him rethink and regret his actions. If both of you are that close and you knew his parents and he has the mind to do that to you then let him pay for his sins my dear. Don't help him but its your decision to make
ReplyDeleteDo not, I repeat do not help him. Point Blank Period!!!!
ReplyDeleteDO NOT HELP HIM...DO NOT GET INVOLVED... A rapist? are you kidding me? I am not asking you not to forgive him... please do afterall we live forgiven by God but stay away from him and don't refer or stand in for him in anyway. Who knows how many more people he did what he did to you and how many more will occur when he gets into the company "with your help". You are not God and you can't know these things so let him apply and let God sort him out if it is his will.
ReplyDeleteIf you know what is good for you, better shift away from that rapist. Help him out and he will offer a 'relationship' with you in 'appreciation' but most importantly, to level the awkwardness of that previous dehumanizing act.
ReplyDeleteDon't bother protesting the thought of it, you won't even know when you fall.
He will present himself as a selfless and changed person, Love will happen and in a short while you WILL end up in a psychiatric hospital with what he will make out of your life.
If you like, form christian and heap coal no one sent you to pack. Bible said you should resist the devil and he will flee from you. See the devil trying to mess up your peace. You are already angry, an indication that your equilibrium has been tampered with, na here you wan form born again. You should be watchful about that mutual friend incase they share similar values. Don't be a bloody pleaser, create no space for toxic people or situations.
YOU COME FIRST.... Protect yourself!!!
Forgive and move on.... not bring close.
If you appear tomorrow with a deadly chronicle, Stella will scream OMG! OMG!! OMG!!!
B. Vs will blame you, the story will tingle the ears and you may never forgive yourself.
Empress CHO
If you know what is good for you, better shift away from that rapist. Help him out and he will offer a 'relationship' with you in 'appreciation' but most importantly, to level the awkwardness of that previous dehumanizing act.
ReplyDeleteDon't bother protesting the thought of it, you won't even know when you fall.
He will present himself as a selfless and changed person, Love will happen and in a short while you WILL end up in a psychiatric hospital with what he will make out of your life.
If you like, form christian and heap coal no one sent you to pack. Bible said you should resist the devil and he will flee from you. See the devil trying to mess up your peace. You are already angry, an indication that your equilibrium has been tampered with, na here you wan form born again. You should be watchful about that mutual friend incase they share similar values. Don't be a bloody pleaser, create no space for toxic people or situations.
YOU COME FIRST.... Protect yourself!!!
Forgive and move on.... not bring close.
If you appear tomorrow with a deadly chronicle, Stella will scream OMG! OMG!! OMG!!!
B. Vs will blame you, the story will tingle the ears and you may never forgive yourself.
Empress CHO
If you were in her shoes, would you refer the person that raped you for a job in your company??? I guess not. So poster, please whatever you do, stay as afar away from this guy as possible.Thank you so much anonymous 15:44 for this last paragraph,if you were the one @those asking her to help would you help a rapist?i wouldn't and wouldn't ask you to help,it doesn't mean you have not forgiven the guy but keeping him at arms length is better, that way you avoid him costing you your job or doing something in future that will bring you shame and disrepute.
ReplyDeleteBringing a rapist closer just because he asked for forgiveness?how do you guys do it,it doesn't even have anything to do with forgiveness but it is dangerous period!
plz help him, i believe that God knows everything.
ReplyDeletePlease walk away from the negative energy.
ReplyDeleteReferring someone means you can attest to the persons good Behaviour and integrity.can you do that?please fuck people preaching forgiveness and walk away my dear.
ReplyDeleteAnon 15.44. You deserve a big hug from me.
ReplyDeleteWhat if he rapes someones else Mrs.Referral.....abeg go sit for your mama kitchen .
ReplyDeleteWhat if he rapes someones else Mrs.Referral.....abeg go sit for your mama kitchen .
ReplyDeletei am so disgusted by all this comments, this man DRUGGED her, and RAPED her. I want you all to imagine hanging out with a friend, and then the person drugs you and rapes you. Think about it well, including you Stella. If we are in a normal country, that man will be in jail and on the sex offenders list.
ReplyDeleteMy advise to you, you have moved on from the negative past, I suggest you keep the past and the guy where it belongs, which is the past. Having the guy work in the same environment with you, will mean you have to see him every day. Do you really want that?
Think am well.
Poster.....The ball is in your court assually but I would advice that you leave to be treated like other applicants. Don't carry his matter on your head biko unless you're looking to start a relationship with him ohhhhhh
ReplyDeletePoster please be careful with recommending people for jobs especially if you don't know them. Thank God this one has manifested himself and has no shame for him to even think of asking your help now. He was is a user! If he rapes again or does something else they will come and carry you! You are practically his guarantor if you help him in this regard. Pls be very careful.
ReplyDelete*He is a user
DeleteYour not helping him now doesn't mean you haven't forgiven him or that you hold a grudge or that you have sinned. No. Go and read what the bible says on guaranteeing people talkless of those 'you don't know' cos you don't know this fellow.
ReplyDeleteStella, please in the name of everything you hold dear, DO NOT offer this kind of advice AGAIN.
ReplyDeleteHelp him if you can but no special treatment treat him like a normal person and keep your distance from him
ReplyDeleteBabe you are a strong woman and a better person just ignore his full existence on earth
ReplyDeleteDO NOT HELP HIM!!!
ReplyDeleteDO NOT ENTERTAIN ANY FAMILIARITY AGAIN OR INTIMACY WITH PEOPLE FROM THE PAST WHO WRONGED YOU!!! This is called MOVING ON...AND HOPEFULLY FINDING HEALING OR PEACE WITHIN YOURSELF.
Nigerians are very crazy and dysfunctional people who believe that once they beg, or contact you again after wronging you, then all is well????
No!!! KILL THEM IF YOU CAN & THEN FIND CLOSURE IN THAT WAY!
SHIKENA!
Don't help that fool.i helped a Nigerian to get a job in my office here in the US too but guess what?I tried to push me out.i will never refer or recommend anyone especially Nigerians not to talk of a rapists.scum bag
ReplyDeleteDONT HELP HIM SO THAT WHENEVER HE THINKS OF YOU, HE WILL; REGRET HIS ACTIONS. IF YOU DO, SOON HE WILL FEEL COMFORTABLE AND BE ROCKING SHOULDER WITH YOU AND POSSIBLY TELLING OTHERS WHAT HE DID TO YOU WITHOUT REMORSE. ALLOW KARMA TO VISIT HIM. IGNORE HIS CALLS AND TELL THE THIRD PARTY THAT THINGS ARE TIGHT AND THAT YOU CANT HELP HIM. SIMPLE
ReplyDeleteHelp fire, what's dat Stella mind yourself oo.
ReplyDeleteone has to walk in those shoes to serve any advice, cos the bible also condemned rape in it's own ways,
ReplyDelete