STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHO HAS THE RIGHT TO NAME A CHILD?
Hello Stella,
I have a little problem. Here it goes.
I have been married for some years now ,blessed with 4 kids. My spouse is
Yoruba while am Igbo .i have always wanted to give my kids Igbo names but my husband always rejected it .
He keeps saying that a woman doesn't have a right to name her children. I had all my kids through operation and i know what i went through .All my kids have Yoruba names as their first name which I don't have any problem with. I have been pleading with my husband to add the Igbo names as their second name but this has been a problem.
It is written in bible,women named their children: Genesis 35 v18, exodus 2v10,1 Sam 1verse 20, Samuel's mum gave him the name Samuel. I really don't know what to do. I am a working class woman and I contribute to the financial growth of the family too.
We are planing of getting international passport for the kids by next week. please advice is needed.
Thank you
*These are things that should have been discussed before you got married..Boundaries and differences must be specified...looks like you married a difficult man.I dont know what to say in this case oh...
Do girls do courtship again.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that they do is sex; monkey and crocodile styles
Once marriage happens, they begin to quarrel over who will use the breakable cup to drink.
Biko, which one is monkey and crocodile style. I need classes.
Delete@Styledose
DeleteSee your mouth and your lies
Why are you called styledose?
Isn't it because of all the styles you do?
You wan tell us say you no sabi that one
You wey don graduate for eagle and cobra styles
Did u think before typing? How does ur comment help now?
DeleteWhat rubbish?? A child i gave birth to i can't give him the name i want? Mtcheww madam listen to your husband and don't put the igbo name on his papers but when you give birth keep calling him by his igbo name. If your husband is still not ok with that then i don't know (don't tell him that's what you'll do o).
DeleteLeave am like that, its not that serious.
ReplyDeleteJust like wat almost happen to me. I am from edo, my man is yoruba from royal family, I had difficulty having a child but to God will have it I am pregnant. It was such a suprise I decided to name my baby in my own language to thank God but oga say for were that it only the men that name their children in yoruba. I plead with him he said no so I let him be. Calm down madam take it easy wuth him. Finally he ask which name I wanted to give I told him and explain the meaning just the way explain the meaning of name he want to give to my child too. He said I can give my baby name. I was happy so my unborn little luv will be having 3 name on her passport.pls madam don't let it result to quarrel if he doesn't want name is name as long it doesn't glorified the devil. Good luck.
DeleteYour husband is a very very selfish man,are u not their mother,he must be an illiterate to say u don't have the right to give them igbo names, u better add Emeka, Amara, Chioma and Onyeka to their international passport.
ReplyDeleteGaskiya kam! Looolz!
DeleteLol..yes na.
DeleteYes he is a selfish man. My dad is yoruba from ijebu and my mom is urhobo from delta state. We all have our yoruba names and urhobo names. Infact as d firat child they call me by my urhobo name at home. But in school and on official doc it is my yoruba and baptisimal name. If u call me by my yoruba name in my fathers village sef, dey will tell u they dont know who tgat is. But call me my urhobo name, na from bua stop dey go describe our family house. Same thing with my sister her urhobo name is what we call her at home. My father likes those names pass my mama sef. During our christening all our names including urhobo names are all written on the first blank page by my dad. Your husband shld calm down. When i have my children i will give them urhobo names been d half cast i is na ijebu/urhobo. Lol wink. Urhobo wado! Ijebu wado!
DeleteI can't relate because my mum gave my 4 brothers the name we call them today. In fact, when dad have to travel a day to our baby of the house naming ceremony, he was asking mum about the name and mum said he shouldn't worry that she will take care of that
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Just take am like that. Ibo names will not carry them to heaven. So forget it. Minor issue. Some ppl have worse problems like infidelity or spouse that is fetish or infertility. Don't be angry. Move on
DeleteThat man is a beast.
ReplyDeleteSdk is so right, u should have discussed this before marriage.
ReplyDeleteThank you ooo, all these should have been discussed before marriage.
DeleteI haven't seen the man that will tell me I have no right to name my babies I carried for nine months.
Ex-fiance tried this kind of rubbish with me and immediately I dethroned him.
I don't have time for nonsense biko.
We were discussing the number of kids we wanted. I said I wanted two, he said four so I was expecting him to say let's compromise and make it three, only for that ijebu fellow to look me in the eye and say how dare I tell him what to do. Immediately I exed him instanta.
In marriage both the man and woman should respect themselves abeg.
I don't know what to say to you too because this is what you guys should have discussed during courtship. But I guess you guys were busy practicing different sex styles instead of discussing important issues. Good luck with that.
ReplyDeleteHonestly. Just this evening we were discussing children names. He is ibo and I Yoruba but he Said he doesn't want language names. He choose one funny Porto Rican name and I objected and we ended up compromising and that is settled. He said he wants 6 kids, I want 2 so we compromised to 3. Omo mehn all I do is ask questions o, I cannot come and enter one chance over simple things like this.
DeleteMadam you married a Yoruba demon!
ReplyDeleteThere is no big deal in your husband allowing you to give your kids an IBO name as their middle names.
Let me mind my business, after all I was not there when you fall in love and got married to a Yoruba man..Lol
Shut up! You don drink your milk today?
DeleteMadam your husband hate your tribe with passion that's why he can't stand you giving them any igbo name.
DeleteMy brother don win... Lol
ReplyDeleteMadam you can't do anything, s'ogbo ?
Don't look for trouble where there is none. A name shouldn't define a child. I know a Child who refused her igbo name becos the combo with her yoruba surname made her a laughing stock in school. Pray for ur kids to proper regardless of the name they bear.
ReplyDeleteHow us she looking fir trouble???
DeleteAbeg park well!!!
Anon 15:45, please help me to ask them ooo.
DeleteWell if am a part of the reproduction phase and naming my kids simple and I don't need your consent before I do that.
The man here is the one looking for trouble very selfish someborri and also petty.
Lol this one follow for chronicles??? For this recession you're worried about igbo and yoruba names? You no get problem!
ReplyDeleteYou married a coconut head egocentric man. Any way most yoruba men are like that. E don be for you be that. If you guys had talk about this while dating we all wont be here talking about this.
ReplyDeleteEven my inlaw who is who graduated from a Yoruba demon to a Yoruba devil allowed his sons to bear Igbo names. My other inlaw calls one of his sons by his Igbo name. At times we forget his other name sef. It depends on the person no big deal so far the names have wonderful meanings. He should know it's a partnership. Bear your cross madam there isn't much you can do. Love your children regardless of what their names are. Name them in your heart.
ReplyDeleteMy dears forget that. So many things I discussed during courtship that changed after marriage.
ReplyDeleteIn another life I will insist on a written signed document that has bearing with the law of the land. Most African men words do not hold water
Am with you on this the men change even if u discuss heaven n earth during courtship.
DeleteWhat a selfish yaraba man your hubby is.*huh*
ReplyDeleteHe dosent even care about your happiness one bit. Like Sdk said, it's something you both would have agreed on tey tey right from when you had your first issue. Haba!!! Insist o that he agrees and allow you include igbo names on this passport matter or you change hand for am.
Which one you see to marry? Even the yaraba and fulani Brown goat refused you.
DeleteVery stupid advice!!madam,pls tell him to allow include even if it's initial of the igbo names..And pls do t listen to that change it nonsense..use a subtle voice and make him understand u re not trying to be d head that their igbo names will one day open ways for them who knows
DeleteAm sorry but don't take this the wrong way but I don't know why I kinda agree with sandy perhaps it the same thing I would have done .
DeleteWhy would a man not want me to name my children, forgive me but I do not support all these talk to him kindly.
Typical advice from a single lady.
DeleteSandy when you get married be doing fire by fire for your husband and we will see how long that marriage will last.
Madam keep taking such advice from ppl that havnt taste marriage or know what it entails. Or from wives that come here to lie and are docile in their homes.
The man is the head of the home and in Yoruba culture they name their child. And may or may not take any name from the mother. I did not name any of my kids. Either did my mother give me a name. My grandfather and father named me.
15.59 you are such an animal, anon my foot.
DeleteNna ehh...The comments I read here are annoying sometimes what has this got to do with if they were having sex before marriage....empty skulls who I'm soo sure indulge in such too will come here and drop senseless comments because their dull brains can't think of a better advice....
ReplyDeleteYes I'm shouting
I haff vex
This woman does like the peace she is enjoying in her home. Keep look for trouble where there none
ReplyDeleteThank you. What a chronicle.
DeleteMadam quit looking for marital problem where there is known.
Must your kids bear igbo names. You for kuku marry your village man na.
I am Yoruba married to a non Yoruba man. And my child doesn't bear any Yoruba names. Though he was given one by my ppl on the naming. But the name isnt even on any document.
But he bears his fathers exact name in their dialect and an English name as 2nd name. Those are the two names on his birth certificate and I'm okay by it.
I would advice you leave this matter. After 4kids you want to start fighting it.
Pls let peace reign in your home and drop the matter pls.
Bed and Roses, thank you.
DeleteThank u Bed of roses for this comment. I think u better let this rest @poster.
DeleteLet it rest if all ur pleading fell in deaf ears. It's no biggie since ur husband is that type. All men cannot be d same
Yoruba names sound more posh.. Also alot of igbos speaks and understand yoruba but how many yorubas speak or understand igbo language?? I cant marry igbo, i can only date them😕
ReplyDeleteAm sure no Igbo man is even pricing you not to talk more of wanting to buy you and oh yes if you give us your Otu we will fuck you and it ends there, I wonder a lot of the Igbos you know that speak yoruba except for maybe those who live in Yoruba land. if they say travel una no go gree yet you will stay in your back yard and be quoting wrong statistics up and down. Asi na onye njenje bu onye Amamuihe.
DeleteYoruba name posh keh? You must be dreaming,names that sounds like olodo
DeleteU should have discussed that before marriage but that doesn't stop u from loving ur kids for who they are. Let it go
ReplyDeleteYour husband is too selfish, when it comes to inter-tribe marriage selecting of names should be from both sides the man choose his choice same goes to the woman. Since your husband is stubborn just live like that.
ReplyDeleteIgnore all these people telling you that your husband is selfish, egocentric, wicked, heartless etc. Before you go and resent him for nothing. Yes he is difficult on this issue, but aren't most Nigerian men difficult in one way or another?
ReplyDeleteMadam, na your fault small. Cos you should have discussed this during courtship. After deliberation, you would have been able to deduce two things: 1. That you accept his stance and live with it 2. Withdraw for this reason.
You know how inter-tribal marriages can be. And the truth is your husband isn't entirely wrong because he might not want to sound as if they are shuttling between tribes. Maybe he wants his kids to identify with his tribe first through their names, cos frankly children are usually emotionally closer to their mother's side of the family. My advice is that you give them igbo pet names and/or English names that are in-between. There's a Spanish name: Adora. Which sounds like Adaora when called. I think it means a girl child that is cherished/adored. Find those names, if it will purge you of your anger. You can get a few if you look online. Position them as English names and explain to him before you go for the passport. (Im guessing they dont have English names already)
Conclusively, I don't see the big deal. My mums bestie is married to a yoruba man and her kids don't even have English names. However, when they cook and relish our native dishes you will ask them the full story and that's when you will hear that their mother is 'Calabar'. You can still pump your igboness into your kids on other ways. Like making your sons take care of women the way igbo men do, not to be yoruba demons.
P.S: Anyone that turns this comment into a tribal war is on their own 😂 me I dey wedding dey chop jollof rice 😁
Chikito darling hope you will insist on giving una children Efik names when you and my brother Chike got married?.... Lol
DeleteThank you chikito
Delete"got married" @sexy daddy they are married already?
DeleteGod bless you for this.... Poster please don't listen to people saying your husband is this and that, let peace reign. The names on my children's birth certificate is the name my father inlaw named them, I call them the name I gave them anytime I want to pet them.
DeleteMy dear all those talking about making decisions before getting married don't know Nigerian men. The only thing you go into marriage certain about them is their HIV status and genotype/phenotype. All the rest na wash.marriage is truly a package that you don't know what's in it, until you open it.
ReplyDeleteNne, your parents would have given them igbo names and he'd have had no say in the matter...lol.
That being said, let it go, I know it hurts.
I laugh@ Sandy who is saying that you should change hand, maybe you think marriage is bf and gf. When a man brings out the animal in him you won't withstand it.And mind you that it takes God for a man to practice what he say in the courtship when he gets married. dear writer please I don't think you have problem, you mustn't include in their names buh be calling them the names. I remembered when I was younger my grandma use to call me a name that is not even in my baptismal card, just no that Yoruba men are like that... kpele
ReplyDeletePlease bone da talk. Which one is animal in him, that is because he hasn't met a witch on heat, a woman wey her head day touch.
DeleteIf a man say "A" because he wants to trap me into marriage then later tries to dictate for me, that means he doesn't want to experience peace of mind.
I will frustrate his very existence into submission and am not bragging, will send my chronicle in soon.
Not every woman can be tamed.
If ole boy is looking for someone to dominate then marry yourself am not subservient.
Don't mind her.
DeleteThat is how she changed hand for all her suitors.
Madam you can't win all battles.
Na 2day!!! @ Juan.
DeleteLoool @ anon 18:23!
If you believe God can do all things then pray about it.
ReplyDeleteThere is someone that keeps moving around this blog typing really nasty replies under people's comments.The day you come under my comment to talk nasty i will curse you and it will cleave to you like a second skin.
ReplyDeletePoster you should be allowed to give the children their second name at least. I am married into a traditional ekiti family, my husband is the first born and i still gave my children their second names. Your hubby should relax.
Wow what's in a name? I'm Yoruba and my brothers married from different tribes and the resulting children were given two or three names from their mum's tribe eventhough it is not what they are called by. I plan to name my children myself God help me, I feel after being pregnant for 9 months, pushing or going through CS naming the child should be a courtesy afforded to the mother. Poster many people are right, you should have discussed and compromised even if it will be an English name. I can't say its a non-issue because I know how you feel but marriage is about compromise and this should have been reached long ago and not after 4 kids. I know people on this blog are quick to insult Yorubas with the unflattering "Yaraba" but please the poster is in a unique situation. How many igbo husbands for instance will allow their Yoruba wives to give their children Yoruba first names and even insist on calling the children the Yoruba names? Let's be sincere it's a Nigerian thing not necessarily a Yoruba thing but I admit the stupid proud behaviour Yoruba men display. It all depends on the man though.
ReplyDeleteThank you,my mum is Igbo and we all have igbo names,my husband is Yoruba, and my kids have igbo names my mother gave them and we call them by that sometimes. It's not a tribal thing,it's just your husband being selfish. Also poster,do you speak Igbo to your kids,maybe they are leaning towards speaking the language more than Yoruba and your selfish hubby feels threatened.
DeletePoster it's no big deal. If your Mum is still alive then this is the job of your mother, because I have in laws who give my niece and Nephew names. Even Yoruba's do same. My Grandmother calls me....... Though it wasn't on any of my official document but since the name is so cool and shows my roots I had it included to my names instead of packing English names upandan.
ReplyDeleteChikito alas fire for fire, you is crazy
ReplyDeleteWhat nonsense!!
ReplyDeleteI married a Yoruba man too.our kids have both Yoruba and Ibo names,yoruba being their first name though...
If choosing a name would make him more of a man let him have his way, you wouldn't die if they don't answer igbo names would u? At least you know the type of man you married. Make sure you pencil down the name and call your kids the name as they grow up too. How big of a deal is that now?
DeleteWhat were you guys doing during courtship, woman. Please take am as you see am.
ReplyDeleteMost times we are just over sensitive.I'm married and had my son through cs.He bears an English name and Benin name.I have my own name for him but am not bothered he must bear a name from my end.Having a yoruba name and Igbo isnt that confusing eneough.Please must not be written in thier official documents.You can call them your own Igbo names and stop being overly sensitive over trivial issues!
ReplyDeleteThis one sef join for chronicle? So naming a child is now an issue?
ReplyDeletePoster, stop looking for issues where there's none.
Its an issue for some. It will be sweeter when they combine both names jor.
DeleteSweeter? The name Segun Arinze looks and sounds weird to me.
DeleteDo I need permission to name my own children?What rubbish is this?He should have married a Yoruba woman if he doesn't want his children to have Igbo names.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you should not be selfish
ReplyDeleteAs for me I name my kids o up to the surname! My husband and inlaws opposed the surname part initially but I insisted I didn't like idea of giving my kids a name that had a long history! When they saw I wouldn't bulge they accepted the new surname!
ReplyDeleteJesu Olugbala, you mean you changed their surname? As in Father's name? If this is true, then you must be the husband in the relationship.
DeleteMy husband and I are Igbo and our kids have beautiful Yoruba names (we call them by their Igbo names though). We both agreed to that before we got married and our extended families don't even mind. The Yoruba names are on their birth certificates.
ReplyDeleteVery Good.
DeleteMake sure you teach them Yoruba Language and dedicate them to the Yoruba gods.
Meanwhile I'm yet to meet one single Yoruba (in all my years on earth) that can speak Igbo language not to talk of giving their kids igbo names(even the ones that have half igbo spouses sometimes don't allow it.
You people should continue making ur language and culture a second fiddle,shebi some organizations have already predicted that Igbo language will go extinct in the next 100years or so.
You guys are doing a good job at that,Wetin concern me lol
😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
DeleteEleyi gidi gaan!
Na una be the real ONE NIGERIA.
DeleteI also hope you're not pro-biafra. Cos if you are? Hehehe
I know about seven Yoruba couples that gave their children igbo names. Four of them even call the children by the igbo names and it is their first name as well. Chioma Adebisi, Uche Olaribigbe. The interesting thing is that the couples have no igbos in their lineage so Yorubas are weird and tolerant like that.
DeleteYorubas do not discriminate like this. I know 3 Yoruba couples that gave their children igbo first names and the children are called by those names by everyone. I named my sisters three children and her husband has no problem with it. Those are their first names in their birth certificate and everyone calls them by the names I gave them. Guess what? My brother in law is a Yoruba man. I guess some can be so rigid but I guess Yorubas can also be the most flexible and forward thinking.
DeleteI named my kids first before my husband!!! Your hub difficult Sha. Am not surprised, na Yoruba man.
ReplyDeleteWell it all depends on you and your husband understanding.Am married and we have two cute boys.We never discussed it before marriage who will name our kids.My hubby likes English names,while me as original proud igbo girl I like igbo names with great meaning and conditions of my 9months pregnancy.So hubby gives the English name, while I gave the Igbo name.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster, goodmorninnnnnnnnng. So after 4kids you just woke up to reality. Just let sleeping dogs lie, you swallowed it from child 1 to child 4. So leave the names as it is.
ReplyDeleteWhy 'll one person chose to name a child,when both parents are alive??????
Haba poster after the hefty bride price your people collected you want to call the children igbo names. We need to do something about our bride price in igbo land, it has so many unintended consequences if we want to be sincere. Some of my friends have suffered DV and still their parents insist on them going back because of the bride price. I think serious issues like naming one's child that seem so petty to some can be traced back to this bride price issue. It upsets the balance a woman should normally have had in her home.
ReplyDeleteI thought about the bride price too.
DeleteMaybe as the man as paying he said: ok! Make i hear say una wan intefere for my matter 😂 awon omo ibo
Africans and their mentality. In US when a child is born, the forms for birt certificate are mailed to the mother .Even if she is married. She has the right to list who the father of the child is, as well as to name the child.
ReplyDeleteOkay. Thank you aunty US. For this graaaaave earth-shaking mind blowing info.
DeleteGlad to know morons like you can have their empty skulls filled with info. U can kiss my ass too while at that....
DeleteGlad to know morons like you can have their empty skulls filled with info. U can kiss my ass too while at that....
DeleteYou don't win a battle w a man especially a husband by challenging him or his authority.
ReplyDeleteYou find a way to make him reason w u, & do what u want, any other good way than challenge.
If u add d Igbo names to their Passports without his consent, when he finds out, the repercussions will be terrible. It might even cause u your marriage.
This mistake has been made from before u wedded or after ur first child. Obviously, ur husband is egocentric and proud. So, if u know someone he respects, fears and listen to, talk to the person to speak w him. If He still persist, please let it go.
They will still be whatever they want to be irrespective. And when they are adults, they can add or even change their names
Don't don't dont do ur will. Don't insist on ur way. Pls, try to make peace reign in ur home.
Madam talk to husband about adding igbo names to their names if he refuse, allow him do his wish but make sure you stop helping him fianaciallly in the house let him to it alone, since he claim 100% dominance without considering your opinion let him take care of the house alone
ReplyDelete