Hmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
RICH GIRL;POOR PASTOR
I'm in need of your advice and that of your mature BV's. Kindly post this under chronicles, pardon my long write up AND PLEASE USE YOUR RED PEN TOO.
I am a 24 year old lady with a Masters degree from abroad in a respected field (make I no get decoded abeg I will code some things). After one failed relationship with a play boy now I'm dating a young Pastor (26 years old) from a respected Pentecostal church.
Here starts my chronicle :
Stella all through university I failed to date because of maintaining my status of no sex before marriage (I am a virgin) and wanting something serious while others Played around. The lack of serious men in the university environment did not discourage me, I did my degree and Masters abroad and returned home having had nothing serious with anyone as most that came after me where still trying to play and fornicate.
I never relented praying to God for the right man to come my way in fact I even asked him to give me a provider who is well educated, wise, and good looking. I later found a job when I returned home and concentrated on working in my field, started dating too and the relationship fell apart quick because the ex was a user and a playboy.
Fast forward to this year when turbulence started in my life God brought forth my current boyfriend to give me spiritual guidance, help and pray with me.. He encouraged me and took me out of a dark place. Though I lost my job anyway in this dark place, I know God is faithful I will find another (kindly put in a word of prayer for me over this bvs).
Eventually we began to date, Stella He is everything I asked God for except he is struggling financially and not University Educated, though wise. He dropped out of University to pursue Gods calling as a Pastor which he now is and that's great because I see so much potential in him as a Pastor and businessman. He lives with his older sibling who takes care of him and except for his car, and personal belongings (clothes phone etc) he has nothing as such to his name.
Many seek him for counsel. He is wise!!!!
He is doing well in his calling but you know Pastors they live by grace only if a person decides to give will they eat and churches today receive little or nonentity terms of finances, they believe the church are extortionist (I understand). I once asked God if he will make it because it bothers me and I dreamt a good dream of him prospering.
Stella I won't lie I am concerned about this financial aspect firstly because I'm not even sure my family will accept this because they may take it as a step down on my part Concerning my Education and background, I come from a financially stable home.
My man is orphaned so no connections into business only the grace of God.
The current situation is that right now My boo cannot even provide me money to make my hair though when he gets some money he does stuff for me and takes me on dates I can tell he feels so bad about how little he can do for me and wishes he could do more though he's not a cry baby and will not make issues out of it he's instead positive always saying time will come and trying to be useful in all aspects.
I never ask him for money as I know his current situation as there are days he can even have absolutely nothing on him, though this wouldn't last long maybe just a day and God provides again to at least sustain him. I even send him credit when I can and do little kind gestures especially where he's in need ( I don't overdo biko, lest I find myself taking care of him like I did my RICH playboy ex I'm stricter now, the mumu behaviour will not take over).
I have spoken to boo about what his plans and dreams are he speaks of farming and other very good ideas. My man is not lazy at all but he lacks the means I.e land, start up capital, equipment etc.
Stella I need advice from bvs because my situation is very trying. It may sound so simple but it's not easy living on faith everyday sometimes you begin to question the situation like wouldn't God just have brought the perfect man from all angles? Sometimes it hurts to see other people do all these fancy things with their partners and get provision from their men for what they need while I try to work on ideas with mine and build with him on little to no means and connections.
What's even worse is my mom has mentioned before that she would like me to marry from a well to do family so she can "show off her glory " and so I never have to suffer in this life.
Stella You just know how In this modern world broke men are seen as nothing- you choose true love from God and find it in a man that's not financially stable and still upcoming, people begin to make you doubt your whole life and choices. BV's kindly advise:
Stella You just know how In this modern world broke men are seen as nothing- you choose true love from God and find it in a man that's not financially stable and still upcoming, people begin to make you doubt your whole life and choices. BV's kindly advise:
1. Should I hold on to hope of his prosperity and keep trying to pray for him that something comes through, will something fruitful come out of it?
2. Has anyone on this blog ever gone through this and did their faith see them through in future. Did things get better in the end or what became of it?
3. Is this how God sometimes can package a blessing? I wouldn't like to believe all my prayers and preservation fell in vain.
4. Is it a waste of time being with a broke man though he has a lot of potential?
5. Should I just kuku Change direction and find myself a Mr. B is there hope to find another guy who's not having hardships like this? A very rich guy with Gods love?
6. Can a parent understand an only child that tells them that she fell in love with such a guy or would the average parent be disappointed?
I think of leaving him sometimes because it's truly not easy
Kindly advise concerning those questions and add any other advise you see fit.
Thanks Stella.
*My dear,leave this young Pastor alone and move on cos your expectations of him can even make him falter in his calling in trying to meet up ...
You sound like a nice person but for the thought of leaving him to even cross your mind shows you have not found the one for you because if you find him,you will stay no matter the condition.
As an only child I understand you are under pressure to do your parents bidding. but this one looks like ''ko le werk'
If he is a full time Pastor,why are you trying to encourage him to go into Business?will that not interfere with his calling?
A man or a pastor that does not buy you pant when you are dating him, will never buy you pant after marriage. That means you will be the one spending your money on him.
ReplyDeleteNothing stops your man having his education. My Bishop is a graduate and if he wants to venture into any business he can but with his calling, he stopped to focus more on God's work. If you are convinced you can manage him, go ahead. If not leave him.
Go to mountain to know if he is the right person for you notwithstanding all that you have spoken about him. You might just be the person that will take him out of the wood.
Keep praying oo, i know it is not easy. It is well with you.
This is the vain mentality in the minds of Nigerian girls.
DeleteYou are from a RICH home and you expect a man to give you money to "do your hair?"
In spite of all your education, you are still native?
If you are not ready to leave your high horse and your high mom and be joined to
This "poor man", please do not pull him down.
Your mom can as well marry you if nobody from "a rich home" comes along
She can show forth "her glory" in the marketplace
If you face the map of Nigeria,
DeleteYou sound like someone from the "left place"
That's how your mommies reason.
You must marry a rich man even when there is none to love
Do not watch your mother ruin your life for you
@ anon 16:10 why are you so bitter! You are the same people who will crucify her if she comes back with a chronicle after marrying him..Dear poster your concerns are valid
DeleteMarriage is not clear cut.let him down gently and let him go
You are not the one for him and that doesn't make you a bad person..i wish you luck.
Thats a lie, my hubby then my boyfriend dis not buy me anything while we were dating coz he did not have, we are now married and he takes a very good care of me and buys me gifts when I did not even ask for them...
DeleteMarriage is serious business. Pls go back to ur cl9set n pray n ask God to direct u.
DeleteYori your advice make sense die.
DeleteStella is very much on point.
DeleteYori Yori YOUR BISHOP IS FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteQuote me anywhere. Bishop that tells lies, too hell with him. He better tell you what he is into,because it’s not God the alpha and omega that he serves.
Poster the only that worries me is that your guy might be a big liar. How can he say he quit his university education to be a pastor? God's call doesn't prevent anyone from getting an education. Pastors are among the most educated people, you will see them have PhD in old testament and another in the new testament. His not having money shouldn't trouble you as much as this does. Something doesn't feel right.
DeleteI will read comments on this. Queen and boss ur attention is needed here.
ReplyDeleteKikikiki
DeleteYour chronicle dey one kind, it's like eating amala and okra without adding stew lol, I had to stop reading for a while. You already know the kind of parents you have and you fell for a poor man, who isn't even educated. You wanted to eat your cake and have it, you wanted a man that will not ask you for your virginity and yet you are complaining about being broke. Most rich guys will ask you for punani so the ball is in your court, you can't say you love him and yet not believe in his future, marriage is hard without money so if you are going to leave please leave now
DeleteHow do you girls manage life with a broke guy? What gave them the courage to even approach you? Or are you the ones that do the toasting? God forbid bad thing!
ReplyDeleteSame thing I use to wonder About, until I realised that broke guys asks girls who are well to do out because they feel you won't disturb them from anything and you can assist them and besides simply because they are broke doesn't mean they don't have taste. Yes I said that if not why cant they go for a lady within their rich. Come on people let's be honest even this guy will never allow his daughter who he trained so much with a masters degree to go for someone without a bachelor. We should stop all these sentiments My ex was very broke but I didn't mind because na love matter.
DeleteOnly for him to start asking me about my parents profession, how much I have in my account and he always hinted about having financial problems which he truly did. He was always asking for money but i didn't give, if i don't ask you dont ask me. Funny enough i looked rich then but i was also struggling. When he realises we were almost on the same financial level, (though I was better for i never asked him for anything) he moved on to a new chick That was when I realised that he came with the belief that having me will make his life comfortable. they feel you wont bill them if they date you since you can take care of your self and also them. since that day I promised myself not to date any broke person again. Broke men should date down and move up together with their future partner simple.
Lolzzz,
Delete👏👏👏... well said anon 19:41. Na dem tear eye pass...
DeleteI just had to clap for this anon again...👏👏👏👏
Deletelol some guys are so courageous. Like they’ll look at themselves look at you and still open their mouth to say hello. Bloody Leeches! As if I don’t like good things too.
DeleteBabe u fall my hand, u want to start life with a struggling pastor who cannot even afford to rent one room, it seems u like poverty, I don't pray to have a mumu daughter like u, pastor business is not lucrative like before oh, daddyfreeze has opened the eyes of people to identify yahoo pastors, better tell him to go and look for a job.
ReplyDeleteA struggling pastor today can be a very great one tomorrow. Many of them started small. Many of them married women who supported them till they could stand very well on their own.
DeleteI was working with a multinational company when I met my husband, I was comfortable in my own right. Time for wedding came and realized uncle doesn't have Kobo to his name. I funded the wedding, resigned from my job and moved in with him. Now, I wish I could go back and not make the decision of dating him at all. We are swimming in debt and cannot even have a decent meal. We borrow/beg from every one. Poster, do not marry a man that you have doubts about, don't marry a man with a dead end job. "Regret comes every day off the week, and twice on Sundays" Be Wise.
DeleteLies. Pastor business is not profit making so no he cannot start small and becoming mighty in this said profession because even if he prays for others and they give him a little token from time to time that wouldn’t still make him mighty.
DeleteExcept he goes into another business (causing him to deviate from his original calling ) but then again since that isn’t Gods plan for him he wouldn’t still be mighty.
Pls tell me one pastor who is mighty and not a scam pls don’t say adeboye etc.
Poster, what you are seeing in the relationship now would be what you will endure. You will end up been the bread winner in that union,
So I ask you, pick your two legs and run. You two aren’t compactible.
Sister choose a struggle, you cannot have it all. Please do not derail this young man from Christ calling sha! before you ogo de break him heart
ReplyDeletePoster listen: never marry a man u don't believe in or u will spend most of ur marriage wondering if he will ever succeed. You love him, I know, but marriage has taught me that love is never enough.
DeleteWhen I started life with hubby, he had nothing but his certificate and a dream. I wasn't bothered cos I saw 'beyond the now'.
I believed in his dreams because I believed in His God. Today, that faith paid off and we are still waxing stronger and moving higher. The world will hear our story.
So sweethrt, do u see 'beyond the now' or is ur heart doubtful about this young struggling pastor? If u have doubts and fears, please don't venture into it. But if you believe in his dreams and are willing to start small with him like I did with my hubby, then trust God to take care of the rest including getting ur parents on ur side in ur decision abt marrying him.
Make up ur mind. There's nothing wrong with letting him go if u think u can't deal. But my advise to u is this: when choosing a spouse, keep ur eyes on his internal attributes than the external. Cos in the end, no matter how bouyant he may be, without character(the internal attributes), u may not enjoy ur marriage.
God's grace as u decide!
Mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com
poster did you say He dropped out of University to pursue Gods calling? if i send you e slap now someone will say Lucy have come again. when has going to school stop one from answering Gods call? what will the likes of Pst Chris Oyhakhilome with his Phd and Pastor Paul Enenche be doing as pastor? live that lunatic alone, he is a lazy dull boy who thinks being a pastor is an escape root to riches. he was dull had plenty carrty over and was withdrawn tell him to give you the whole gist or better still go to the said school he dropped out from to confirm my facts. yeye useless boy. how can a fine girl like you, yes i said fine bcoz i have seen how pretty you look, with all your qualification and class want to end up with a riff raff who has no future ambition? how can you use your two hot legs to enter poverty? you really need koboko to wake you up from this slumber.
ReplyDeletehahahahahahaha...... but Luci u make plenty sense
DeleteOh my God! Lucy ehn!
Delete.. Jesus is my worth!
What are u people even talking about? Is being a graduate one of d qualities of being a pastor? How many well known pastors are graduates? Is pastor Suleiman a graduate? Is Tb Joshua a graduate? Is Lazarus Muoka a graduate? My own pastor is not a graduate but he is doing well for himself. There are many of them like that. Being a graduate is not a guaranty that u will be successful in life. I have seen many broke graduates..
DeleteDropping from University doesn't make him a lazy man..There are many many people who are not patient enough to undergo d four years of tutelage in the University.They find d routine of going to lectures boring..
My younger brother is a university dropout but right now he is doing his own business and fucking rich. He employed graduates to work for him cos he can nolonger handle d expansion of his business..So why are u all screaming like he is a total write off bcos he isn't a graduate?
Poster u don't love dis guy bcos if u do,dis chronicle won't be here.. Pls leave him alone to find a woman who loves him enough to overlook his shortcomings.
***Chy Ozo ***
Lucifer abeg chop kiss, don't mind the stupid girl making excuses for a lazy dullard, i pray ur parents disown u any day u bring that lazy ass home.
Delete@ Lucifer.. as funny as this is you are right..
DeleteThere is no entity called "lucifer"
DeleteWhat exists is Satan; the devil, the tempter
I can see that you are there to scatter congregations
Everyone must not have the same calling or training.
This one tight o
ReplyDeletePoster sounds nice though
First, focus on getting a Job.
ReplyDeleteSecond, you have to be very sure he is the one.
Ask God to show you signs. If you get a positive answer...start to invest in him. I know it is daring and uncertain, but do it. If he is as wise as you claim, get him to start writing books for sale, taking people on life-classes.
The conviction you get from God should make you stand firm with your parents.
Don't start a marriage on the wrong foundation, if you finally marry a man who has all those qualifications your mom wants, she will show you off but when you start to get beaten or treated like a necessary evil, she won't show it off.
Finally, don't push your man into starting a business (church) because of you.
I just love u for this comment Bipolar...poster pls listen to this advice, it will do u no harm
Deletehahahahaha you this lucifer. chai i dont want to laugh jare
ReplyDeletePoster you are a wicked girl. This guy helped you through a turbulent time in your life and because of money, you want to dump him. You girls never learn. Please leave the guy alone to marry a God fearing woman that will pray with him to his own financial breakthrough. Continue following the world so ti gbo? The world will lead you to marry an 'otokoto' man and the man will use you and your mum for ritual. Then the same world people will call you olojukokoro.
ReplyDeleteKisses to you for this your comment.
DeleteHe helped her out because he wantes to toast her. Some pastors be using their position as an excuse to get a sister.
DeleteHe wanted her and he saw her vulnerable state as an opportunity to get close to her. He didn't do it for free na. After all they got into a relationship at the need of his so called help
Iya, did you have to insult her and her mother??? Same you who objects to people insulting you? Really?
DeleteYou know you could have still 'advised' her without some words you used up there
@gorgeously human. Pls read my comment again, i never insulted the poster and her mum. You were probably receiving/giving head when you read my message so u bungled it up because you young people on this blog, sex na your food.
DeleteIya mi yen, shun na! No vex abeg say I late small to stand your back.
DeleteDis gehs, I tire for them o. They can't read, can't get a husband can't cook but can attempt to tackle iya mi! If not that its Thursday, I for tell shanpona to kiss am! Awon omo jatijati.
A 26yo pastor? My dear, face front.
ReplyDeleteNna ehn!!
DeleteI don't understand the kind of silly chronicles these people send here jare. @ 26 he's out of school because he wants to "answer God's call"
I hope this your pastor boyfriend is not "Ugochukwu" in Bayelsa state? Nonsense!
The best thing you can do for this guy is to advice him to write jamb and get back to school.... He's still young. By 32 years at most he should be done with school.
God didn't call him ooo.... In fact God no flash am sef!
GOD BLESS NIGERIA.
Dear poster, I understand your plight especially since I'm just coming out of one of such situation myself even though mine was very educated, only just refused to work. If you truly love him, let him go. Look for someone in your 'class/pedigree', in holding on and constantly talking to him about a situation that he already tackles, you might push him to do things in a bid to please you, things he'd regret. And then he'd resent you! In my case, I held on for 2 years but had to go when I realized I was just an enabler and he saw a 2nd mum in me instead of a girlfriend. I was the girlfriend that could unearth a mountain in his way just so he wouldn't have to go around it like everyone else. On our 2nd anniversary, I told him the hard truth and let him go. Talk to your man, let him know your fears and the expectations of your parents as an only child, then let him go! It's his choice to still be in talking terms with you afterwards or not. If you keep waiting, next year you might just turn 30 then you'd realize how much of your time you'd wasted. ALL FOR NAUGTH!
ReplyDeleteWord@
DeleteI was in a similar situation, my man was living with his mum in a small apartment. Throughout our 4 years relationship all my man had in terms of money has never been up to 70k.
ReplyDeleteBut 2 months ago God turned things around,it was more like a dream. Today my boo is a millionaire, we are getting married very early next year.All this things I would never have imagined in my wildest dream.
If finances is the only problem you have in your relationship just keep faith money is coming.
Dear poster, I have seen first hand what God can do. Just hold on, keep praying and trusting God. There is a miracle on the way. I am a living testimony.
Don't mind her.. Let her continue to ask stupid questions till she loose this guy.. By the time she clocks 40yrs without a man,her body go tell her.
Delete***Chy Ozo***
Ewu!
DeleteBe deceiving yourself o.... You hear?!
GOD BLESS NIGERIA.
'By the time you reach 40' 😂😂
DeleteNow we know who it was 😎
What got him the millions?
DeleteHe was living with his mom only that? Your story is different from posters jare, Park well
I didn't even finish reading because it is too long however i already get the gist. A broke ass pastor is your BF and you want to marry him.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm feel free to marry who you wish but understand you will be the main provider in the marriage whether you like it or not.
Why will you date someone that is not even in your class, you are already asking for trouble.
Date within your class in order to avoid stories that touch. All broke men are nice, honest, loyal , faithful, God fearing, intelligent, kind etc until they make small money.
U said it all
DeleteThank you ooo,she should go for someone in her class. I mean that her boyfriend has a very high standard to even ask her out in the first place. If a broke drop out could date a graduate, with msc who travelled out, then how much more you yourself with all these qualities. I think you have developed such a low opinion of yourself that you believe you can't get a man who will wait till marriage that you decided to settle. Am sure that was how he got you by agreeing to your no sex stance. There are other girls like you around why did he have to get so close to you in particular, what do you have that they don't?, have you asked yourself that?. Am sure you already have your answer.If you were a drop out like him trust me he won't even look your side. He is only broke according to your standard, because you are way up there. Trust me, he is not broke according to other girl's standard, who are in his league. but am sure he avoids those girls too. All those empathetic moments during your low period was brother simply trying to get your weak point and he succeeded.
DeleteI have been in this your situation before, when I saw that most guys just wanted to chop and clean mouth I avoided them and said yes to the next available guy who agree to wait till marriage. Mind you he was dirt poor too and they were lots of girls like him who wanted him but he refused, why because he felt he was better than most of them. I later broke it up because for most relationship to work out people need to date Someone in their league not above or below maybe slightly but not too much. Or else it just won't work.
A drop out? That a no
ReplyDeleteBill Gates
DeleteSteve Jobs
Mark Zukenberg
Do you know what they all have in common?
DROPOUTS!
Really? Were they all broke drop outs. I don't think so.
DeleteYou see how Nigerian girls think
DeleteYou have added "broke" to the "dropouts"
because you saw those "rich men" up there
Yes they were BROKE and dropouts
go and read about them in wikipedia
at some point, Steve job did not have shoes to wear
Bill Gates did not have money to rent a workshop and
used his dad's garage.
You see, you bereft girls want "ready made" without
thinking about "how the money was made"
If Jesus been dey here una go reject am
Im na Carpenter.
Anon 19:14.... All of you calling Bill gates, Mark Zukenberg etc university drop outs should stop this nonsense comments. They dropped out of Harvard. Meaning they have the financial resources. They are brilliant and they have the opportunity to go places. Abeg stop encouraging Nigerians to be lazy, laid back and clueless about their lives. Harvard dropout is already successful cause he already identified his professional calling in life not a poverty motivated dropout.
DeleteMark went back and has finished his degree.
Delete@19:14
DeleteDropout is dropout.
There is nothing like "Harvard dropouts"
So why is the Nigerian drop out "poverty dropout?"
Did the poster tell you where he dropped out from?
You are trying hard to find the excuse to justify your greedy low self-esteem?
Anon @21:23, poverty stricken guys like your self just don't get it. Drop outs get levels okay?.
DeleteStop mentioning all those people, go read again about their lives. For someone to drop out of an ivy- league school, you think it's beans.
Let this stuck, you cant compare a drop out here with a drop out in nigeria. The gap is huge.
Nigerian girls, this that, anything else?. All that applies if the lady isn't up to par and then she wants something she can't offer. It is Not too much for her to want someone in her level So don't put them all in the same category.This lady deserves what she desires because she is also liable to such standard. She has achieved a lot so no one should try to make her feel guilty. Except you are a hypocrite which is understandable.
You are 24, pls put your focus first on getting a job.
ReplyDeleteLive your life, you are too young to be carrying all this burden your boo seems to have biko.
I see no reason why he had to drop out to do pastoral work, I sense him being lazy.
Baby girl do not carry a mans load for him. Let him carry he`s and you carry yours.
Marry this guy and you will be the sole provider. choice is yours. Even he should be working towards making smthn of himself, maybe going back to school etc. Relationship shouldn't be his concern right now.
I don't understand why someone will drop out of school because they got a calling.
ReplyDeleteAll the top men of God today are litrate.
Adeboye
Oyedepo
Abiome
Chris
Just name it,my dear that guy should put his hands to work even the bible said i will bless the works of your hand, some people can build the whole word with their mouth,I will do this and that without any move.
Please think well
But you understand why Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zukenberg etc. will drop out of school to establish companies and make millions of dollars. Today, every graduate wants to work for Microsoft, Apple or Facebook whereas the founders are not graduates.
DeleteYou see, you have to choose whom you serve, you cannot serve God and money
The things of the Spirit are spiritually discerned
It is not for worldly people!
Please stop saying this. Get your facts straight first, yes they dropped out but they weren't broke like him. They were in money and had a good financial background.
DeleteI don't know about bill and Steve but hope you know mark went back to school and a degree.
DeleteBesides this people put their hands and head to work.
All those names above have one business or the other.
What I am saying is,he can still serve God at the same time make something out of himself.
Steve Jobs didn't have a rich background or money
Delete@Shirley
DeleteHe "went back to school and got a degree" does not mean that he was not a "DROPOUT"
Make "something out of himself" is simply put "make money"
That's the only language a Nigerian girl understands; including the poster.
His pastor-friend is only 26 and you think he can't get back to school and
Make something out of himself?
How many graduates in Nigeria has got job talk-less of money?
GREED; that is why so many Nigerian ladies aren't married by forty!
Shirley is very right. Those men you refer to as drop outs had very viable ideas and worked hard for what they have and who they are today. Mark has completed his degree even though he didn't have to. These men are the sort who merit honorary degrees, because they can school you in their areas of expertise. What I am saying is that such people should be used as sources of inspiration and not excuses not to go to school and be educated. That's just lame. Of course one can be well off without college, but that shouldn't be an excuse for not going to college. One can go to polytechnics, vocational schools or even be self taught, but please be educated.
DeleteThanks @Chikito for telling those greedy girls who are too lazy to
Deletego to Wikipedia to find out things for themselves.
Some are so daft to classify "Harvard dropouts' as rich?
simply showing that they have never left Nigeria!
Steve jobs is simply what we call an outlier in statistics.I vividly recall Steve wasn't the only one mentioned,what about the rest they were from a poor home too ABI? So please receive sense before you call people daft. expensive maggot
DeletePoster Oga pastor isn't yours, look elsewhere,he helped you when he did,move on,u cannot fight nor stay with him with all these obstacles around your relationship with him, b4 u know it your parents would have presented/arranged a suitor for you self. Pastor needs a neutral ground to grow,dis time isn't time for him to be providing for any woman
ReplyDeletePoster, your heart & head are in conflict. Heart says Yes but Head says No. Sometimes your heart needs more time, to accept what your mind/head already knows...
ReplyDelete👍
DeleteEvery woman has her own calling as regards to whose wife they are supposed to be. Some woman are called to to wives to businessmen, career men, pastors, etc you have to understand your mind set so as to peas him astray cos the calling to be a pastors wife is a calling to chastity and poverty or else he has his own hustle. It's feeding from hand to mouth and with your own salary. As for your parents you are not marrying for them the earlier you detach yourself from them the better oh. Toddles and good luck
ReplyDeleteMy dear, you have to pray and ask God for direction whether the guy is rich or poor because marriage is not what you rush in and rush out. If you are convinced , assured and satisfied that he is the one God wants for you then you can also assist him. There are many reasons why God brings people together - its to affect each other positively. The pastor stopped school out of ignorance because education is important in every sphere of life. That said, if you truly love this guy you should know that good things does not come easy and you can also help him pursue his vision to help him grow. Such guys always make it in life especially the focused , God fearing and ambitious ones. Tell your mother about him and your family can help since they are financially stable. Do not leave him because he does not have money except he is a bad guy. You don't know tomorrow and don't conclude yet that he cant make him. You are not God. All the same it's your decision to make.
ReplyDeleteI like the part about advising him
DeleteIf she was convinced she wouldn’t put this up for us to read that’s 1.
Delete2. Is it until Gods wisphers in her ears that she would understand that the reason why she’s not at peace is God giving her signs that this is a no go. Ha!
Continue talking to God o poster you hear, you will receive his red pen in the bathroom, just look in the mirror while bathing , sigh!
That is how they behave when they re broke poster leave him alone focus on yourself and think of what u want for urself leave man alone especially the broke ones..
ReplyDeletePoster you need to pray hard about this young pastor to be sure he is the one for you....
ReplyDeleteAt 26 he can still go back to school, he can do part time courses even if he is a full time pastor...
Ending up with him the way he his now is going to affect you later in life.
I don't see how the calling to be a pastor stop him from graduating, all my pastors are working and earning well because they too family to carter for. Just know what you are getting yourself into
That part about notcompleting his education because of God calling doesn't sell.lame excuse.
ReplyDeleteFinance is a major determinant of a good marriage,don't let a guy foolyou with prospect and hopes.if you don't get it right now ,you will end up regretting.
MAKE I SIDON LOOK
ReplyDeleteIt's well with you!!!by His grace I'm a Full Time Pastor. I resigned from office were I was working, I was financially okay when I was working until God called me into the ministry in 2013. I knew I was called right from a little boy. I was posted to a church by my spiritual Leader, go proof your Ministry were I started it alone. No help from family members or friends, but God Almighty proof Himself that He His God. Today I'm blessed and fulfilled through the grace of God. I mate my beautiful God given wife in June 2015, well Educated. A lawyer by Profession, working in a good company, when I was been paid 7k as my Pastoral Allowance. I was paying my house rent, feeding, Transporting from that 7k. During my wedding in 2016. I did not have 5 naira in my bank account. But that wedding cost me over 1.7 Million. My did not help financially but she did her part. God used men and women to favour us. NOTE!!! She resigned from office work a month before our wedding without telling me. I was shocked when she told me she's resigned. I was not really happy. But God spoke to me that I will see you through. Thank God for the calling the greatest achievement of my life today!!! We are happily married, with baby boy etc. Pls my sister don't give up on Him, look at the future is bright. Marry him and if you have the power to help him financially you can do. Our both parents are happy with us. God bless you
ReplyDelete@Pastor Chuks
DeleteIf you left all to follow the Lord
That puts you in same shoes as the Levites
who "have no inheritance in Israel"
Just like the apostles of the New Testament
In that case, the church suppose to take care of you from the sacred portion
Same way the widows, orphans and strangers are taken care of in the church.
Look at the scriptures in Deuteronomy 14:28-29, 26:12-15, Acts 6:1-6, 1 Tim. 5:2-9
Hope you've got "a list of widows" in your church who receive regular upkeep.
I do not feel that there is love here. You do not sound like a woman in love so why go through all that for someone you don't even love. Neither do you sound religious.
ReplyDeleteStella nailed this one with her comment. Leave him to his life and go seek that which you desire.
This is really dicey.
ReplyDeletehmmmmmm! if i should say my mind, i would suggest you help and establish him to your since there is money but that will be only when you are 100% sure he is for you if not my dear run as fast as you can bcos broke guys can love for Africa.
ReplyDeleteThere is a huge red flag here: truncating a university education to answer "God's Calling". God would never require anyone to stop getting him or herself educated because of a calling. I am sorry if I believe wrongly but it seems your guys sees being a Pastor as an easier route to having riches than education.
ReplyDeleteIf you are truly sure and convinced in your heart his your husband and his calling is true. Go ahead with your plans. Go and discover the early life of Pastor E A Adeboye him and his wife will eat without meat but he kept confessing it is well, telling his wife their tomorrow will be better than their today. Bishop David Oyedepo also once was looking for money to pay rent. His children were taking pap and asked him what the will take it with he said spoon while the were referring to sugar. There was no sugar in the pap. He once went to church without an offering, he cleaned the church and told God that's his offering. When David Ibiyome of Salvation Ministry Ph got married he was poor he only had a fan that makes noise and a bed in his room. This to mention a few whose calling are genuine. So if you are sure his calling is genuine and you are ready to stand by him to the top you better do if not leave him so the person that will stand by him will walk into his life. I don't want to tell you my own testimony is been from glory to glory all the way. But before you start this journey with him you need to sit down and tell yourself the hard truth. And answer some questions about your relationship with him nobody in this blog knows you better than yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou are giving history on nigerian pastors. Wake up from your waterlogged slumber, you are sinking
DeleteLet me just give you my humble advice. You didn't tell us his reasons for not going to school and getting proper education. And there is nothing or work like" Full time pastor". It's a profession created by lazy men. Even the 12 disciples has jobs. So what did he do all these years. He didn't go to school and didn't learn a trade. I have issues with that. Again he is thinking of farming. He sounds like a dreamer to me. He is only good and loving now cause he feels you will sort him out. I also have issues with the way you met and started your relationship. It's wrong to start dating someone you seek spiritual comfort and assurance from when one is going through challenges. You would and might have said things that he is trying to take advantage of. Am a man who is an advocate of young couple starting from scratch and growing together in love,spirit,finance and having a common dream and goals.But the basic structure has to be the foundation of the relationship. Education,skills, focus and similarities. The two of you are clearly apart in the sense that he is not educate, you are an only child, even if your parents decide to get him a job he has no qualification. Even the farming he wants to embark on he has no skills or knowledge or has not been doing it. My advice is let him sort himself out and do the same also. Get a job and advice him to learn how to farm. Since he is interested in farming. Keep him at arms length... Tell him you don't want to have any serious relationship for now but try and see other guys and see how he handles it. Then you might just see another side of him. Cause even if he has a job he might have a lot of inferiority complex with the kind of friends you keep and even you might start seeing some of his flaws by the time you start introducing him to your friends. You are still young and have a lot of potentials. Explore your opportunities now rather than cage yourself all in the name of having a relationship.
ReplyDelete#come back and thank me later.
I want to send hot puff puff to you right now. The guy took advantage of you when you were vulnerable and you call that love. Lmao. Let me tell you something, money is the number one reason people divorce, tread carefully. FYI, broke people sure know how to show love.
DeleteGod bless you annonymous.
Delete👏👏👏... poster comman thank anon 17:26 now. Plenty wise BVs dey for this blog. Kudos Stella, even your advice today set.
DeleteWow! Thanks for this comment. It's the best so far.
DeleteYou just need to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit about this Pastor. You need to be certain He is God chosen one for you. If he is, then go ahead, make set plans with him and God will prosper the both of you.
ReplyDeleteI say the above from experience, when I got married to my husband he had just $3 left in his account, but by our one year anniversary he bought me a brand new car, he got an international well paying job, and God has really prospered us, although he is not a full time Pastor.
In summary, if God chooses him for you, he will prosper you both. Let him keep taking you on dates he can afford, and let him do the little that he can for you.
Let me tell you something about life (Yes i can, can't I?)... When you make up your mind about something, you should shut all negative voices in your head and go for it. That in its own is faith. I don't think you are spiritually stable enough to support his calling.
ReplyDeleteI don't like that you are self-doubting your decision, his zeal to make it in pastoral work and determination to go through life together, your parents, other guys doing xx for their spouses. I don't like that you are questioning your faith and God's plan for your lives. That is not the spirit of a Pastor's wife and on that note, i advise you to free the gentleman. He doesn't have it all, and he has told you. Make e lie or borrow? However, he also needs someone who can be a cheerleader and encourage him and support him in faith. listen, IT TAKES A WOMAN OF STRONG FAITH TO MARRY A PASTOR. You, my dear, don't have 'it' in you, so please excuse him politely.
In your spare time, google late pastor paul irabor. When he passed, his burial had over 2000 attendees, with police helicopters flying above the ceremony. It was like a statesman's burial in the US. Pastor Paul, unfortunately, lost the battle to cancer. If he was alive in these social media days, I am sure i wont need to intrduce him twice. When he married his wife, he had NOTHING. Not a degree, not a solid background. But he was highly anointed, when he sings only one song people will be falling and weeping - no be by laying of hands by force. By the time his ministry picked up in the US (let me not give you the testimony of how he got to US legally oh) it was a wave. He was ministering with Ron Kenoly, his mentor he used to look up to as a younger man. And he married a very beautiful girl at the time. He became so blessed that... infact let me not say more.
I can give you numerous examples of such people my parents have mentored, and how they went ahead with God and their ministries have exploded today (if i call names you will still join them to call me a liar). No be say hear say, some did honeymoon in my BQ because they couldn't even pay hotel. yup, that broke! Today, if you no line up you no fit see them. My dad used to dash some of them his used suits to wear as younger men in church and they will be so grateful. Today, they buy him suits that leave his mouth open. And there were women of faith who married them like that oh. One of them like that, the babe who felt he was too small for her, left. She was posh, had a car, her parents kicked against it. Today, he is one of the biggest pastors in Nigeria, married a not-so-rich, OND holder, who is now a mummy GO. Should i give you pastor Matthew A's gist? How his wife (correct babe) closed eyes and married a young pastor with faith and today they are doing well?
I am not trying to convince you oh. All i am saying is that your fiance's case isn't the worst. He even has car sef and family giving him house. So my dear, if your faith is wavering amidst his 'wisdom' you are not THE ONE. Don't be his distraction abeg. Na beg i dey beg. Find your type of guy let him find his mummy GO. Thats my own story for today.
God bless you. I'm sure this piece has inspired someone.
DeleteThis is so inspirational! Chike abeg give her ice cream on my behalf. Poster the summary of this is that your faith as a christian cannot qualify you as a pastor's wife. Look for someone else and this time, don't give crap about your virginity cause it's obvious abstinence is not actually your problem but money.
DeleteDontQuoteMe™
👏👏👏...this is another side of the coin. You see poster, we are not soothsayers on this blog. My dear, the decision lies with you.
DeleteMANY SUCCESFUL PASTORS NOW STARTED FROM SOMEWHERE. IF YOU CAN WAIT TILL THE NEXT 2 YEARS, HE COULD BE ON HIS FEET THEN. KEEP AN OPEN MIND BUT DONT BREAK UP WITH HIM. YOU CAN END UP CRYING TOMORROW IN A RICH MAN'S HOUSE OR FILING FOR A DIVORCE. YOU ARE JUST 24. HAVE A LITTLE PATIENCE AND THINK OF A BUSINESS IDEA WHICH 2 OF YOU CAN START TOGETHER. WHEN YOU HAMMER, TAKE HIM TO MAMA. PRAY AND FAST ABOUT IT TOO. GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.
ReplyDeleteMOST RICH GUYS HAVE MANY LADIES DISTURBING THEM SO THEY DONT RESPECT WOMEN AND TREAT THEIR WIVES LIKE A DISPOSABLE ITEM. BE CAUTIOUS
Hmmmm...it reach to shout ooo...
DeleteDear Poster I will not advise you to break up with him but maintain a platonic relationship which both of you will learn something from each other..Meet other men as well..Try and get a job first, find a purpose and be independent..Stop waiting for him to dash you money..As our people say ''When you meet a frog, you cant ask him for a chair when you can obviously see that it is squatting''..Also him grow cause he obviously needs that..Who knows you may actually marry him...Please shut out every negativity in him..But you must be attracted to him both Physically, spiritually and emotionally..Pray!! Pray!!! and fast very well..
ReplyDeleteMy pastor always preaches to us to find our purpose before marriage.
DeleteHave u heard of the story of Pst David ibiyomie? He had a foam a standing fan and I believe a cd player only when they got married , he also was from a poor home his wife's family were well to do but she choose him , he is a multi millionaire now and her place no one can take..now weigh him well if he is going somewhere then stay but u have 2 be ready to go thru the ups and downs of life with him with love and understanding if u can't then leave him alone for someone who can
ReplyDeletePlease don't stay with him cos of money or e go better ideology stay with him is you love because it might not be better just trust good money is not a sign of faith
ReplyDeleteSorry, but I disagree @it might not be better. It SHOULD be better. Your Christianity should be evident in certain things, and one of those things is financial growth.
DeleteAs a Christian, poverty isn't our portion. We should reject it everyday and everytime. Yes, he may not have private jet tommorow, but it would definitely not be like this - no money for hair, no house, no savings. NO! When you serve God there are all types of rewards (cc: blessings on every side) and if there aren't then it's time to check certain things.
Exactly Ezewanyi. It is obvious poster is already doubting. Another example is that of those Pastors who started Mount Zion Ministries. Poster when in doubt don't. You might kill his ego and his calling when he doesn't live up to your expectations. Be honest and be with your type. But don't feel bad if in future he becomes a mega pastor. Once you make your decision, face your life without regrets. The heavenly race is not all about money, or eating and drinking, but doing the will of God.
DeleteMy own is why did he drop out of school?He can work for God and still get his degree.I have a friend looking for wife ,he's based in America,Green card and he prefers a girl who has traveled before not all those Mary amaka that will be taken there now and tear eyes.Holla if you are interested
ReplyDeleteI am interested.
DeleteAbeg I dey interested oh, coral_reefs@yahoo.com
DeleteThanks!
Alarm bells ringing:
ReplyDelete1. Dropped out of uni to follow God's work. Find out about the true pic of his education
2. Orphan. Do ur homework
👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌
DeleteThere's a conflict of interest here, he dropped out of school because of calling, to be a full time pastor, I suppose. What is he doing thinking of businesses to do. Won't the business distract his calling? Just be careful poster.
ReplyDeleteYou are right ooooo🙌. Is he not doing full time again???
Deleteposter.... don't confuse this man of God, you can't ask man if your faith will save you. Is only God that makes things possible.... if you are praying for God's will allow him to answer you but if you are doing the persaucive will of God what you want goes, so go listen to the word of God and widen your faith because faith commeth by hearing the word of God
ReplyDeleteOP from ur writeup, u are a confused person with a lot of ego. U started by letting us know ur a virgin but failed to update us ur current status. First and foremost women shld learn to be independent bcos that is why men rubbish most of them in relationship bcos of too much expectation and over demand. So u cannot afford to make ur hair expecting ur boo to provide the money and now ur calling him broke ass. I'm sorry to say that as a master degree holder u shld ve referred him as a drop out rather than using not university educated, what a grammar. I advice u to first focus and get a small job just forget the masters bcos u might be seeking a well paid job without considering the situation of things in Nigeria. Once u get a job the next thing is to wait on God, surely the right man will come. Pls stay away from the pastor bcos calling a pastor ur boyfriend is something I failed to understand. What moral lesson will he teach and u guys might be committing fornication bcos I believe u filtered that part in this chronicle. A word is enough for the wise. Thanks
ReplyDeleteStop going on please....he is just not the guy for you Biko..you sound like a nice little naive somebody please take this from me you are still very young your right kind of guy will eventually show up....this young pastor sef shu I think he is just wicked not to have gone to school for him own self haba in this era
ReplyDeleteIs I God that truly calls him he will make a way for him, if he is a true pastor in a short time he will explode, but for a start he must suffer, you will have to suffer with him, before you can start enjoying.
ReplyDeleteThe questions you are asking us who don't you channel your questions to God? For your boo to be doing business that means he is a part time pastor, most pastors that has not made it their wife are the bread winner. You need to be sure of what you want, do not date out of pity, if you cannot cope with him just walk away and give him some cash to do more business.
Poster like you I am learning a lot from this post.
ReplyDeleteNever marry " potential ". If you marry potential, 30 years down the line you will still be looking at the "potential ". When you want to marry a man, what you see in courtship is what you get. Don't deceive yourself. Take a good look at him now. Thats what you are getting. I made the same mistake. I married a man I saw potential in. He was wise! Today, I am the one paying school fees, buying the house cars and taking the decisions in my home. Twenty five years after! So don't deceive yourself. What you are seeing right now with your pastor boyfriend is what you are getting. The rest will, as it is now, remain forever in your dreams. Trust me.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all...he is 26. Isn't he too young to be getting married. As for poster..You're a lady at 24. It's ok for you to start thinking about the future at this age (though you're still very young too) but not him at 26 cos he's still too young to me.
ReplyDeleteMost pastors that i know have other jobs too. Why did he ask you out when he knows that he's not in your financial league based on what you wrote here. He's greedy. Poster...forget all this Cinderella story and get back to reality pls. Why do you that the reach marry the rich only? Because they meet and only allow people in their circles. No one wants to suffer. Besides if you keep supporting him now you will regret it in future. Personally I have noticed that the guys that i don't have make a single contribution to their lives (monetary ) are the ones that want to cross River Jordan for me to keep me. I've dated at least 2 guys in the past that i tried to support in my own little way but I ended up regretting it. At the end of the day some one like me can never EVER date a broke man again and I understand why so many women think the same way. I don't need a man money because I make my own, however I don't want a man to add to my already many responsibilities. Broke men should look for women within their league and grow with them. Your pastor guy is a very lazy man sorry to say. Jesus Christ will not come down from paradise and pay your bills. You both need to make that happen and then pray to God for favour and blessing while at it. Him not being a graduate isn't the issue here at all. Question should be is he working? Then is he hard-working? Does he have a business sense? Do you mind depending only on your own money to sustain you two and his salary from church? Would you be able to maintain your current lifestyle for your self and your kids? If it's no to these questions then my dear pick your bags and wakanow!
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeletePLEASE DO NOT GO INTO THIS IF YOU CANNOT BE PATIENT. I AM IN IT AND I WAS THE BREADWINNER FOR ABOUT 5YEARS, IT WAS TOUGH, I WAS GROUCHY BUT MY HUSBAND IS THE SWEETEST MAN ON EARTH, COOKED AND TOOK CARE OF THE HOME. BUT I WAS STILL A BIT GROUCHY, HE IS NOT A LAZY MAN BUT HE JUST DID NOT BREAK THROUGH FOR 5 YEARS. RIGHT NOW HE IS WORKING, THE SITUATION IS BETTER, I AM STILL UNDER PRESURE BUT HE CAN GIVE ME HIS EYES.
BUT HEY.... GOING THROUGH IT IS VERY VERY TOUGH, SO IF YOU CANNOT BE PATIENT WITH HIM AND IN GOD'S CALLING OVER HIS LIFE, PLEASE MOVE ON......IT'S YOUR CALL AFTER ALL SAID.
GOD BLESS YOU