STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
GOSSIP
Good day Stella. I have been a silent BV. I so much love your blog though I could not comment for 4 years now, not until 2 days ago. Please, I am so broken and hurt. I need advice from your blog.
I met this lady through my neighbour. She was pregnant and scared because she didn't want to have another Cesarean Section. She invited me to her fellowship and I followed her because I just got married and I needed where to go for prayers. From there, we clicked and I took her as a sister I never had .
She comes to my house, we workout around my estate together. At a point, my husband said I don't have time for myself. I do not pray for myself but for someone I just met.
She delivered and I went to see her with my hubby. He brought some stuff for her and she was happy. I taught her few things about makeup, even her hubby said she has changed a lot since she met me.
In April, I started having problems from nowhere in my home. My mother-in-law came and it worsened. I was a shadow of myself. I went to that fellowship to pray over my problems. It didn't even cross my mind to greet anyone. 'God sees my heart that I was so depressed and, all i wanted to do was to pray.
The next day, I saw my friend in my neighbour's shop. I was happy to see her and greeted her, she didn't respond. My neighbour told her "your friend is greeting you". She replied "why didn't I greet her yesterday and why am I greeting her now that she wants to be on her own". He asked her if i gossiped, fought or offended her? He even asked her if she knows what I am passing through, all her answers were NO.
I stopped talking to her but continued greeting her. Then she came and beg me and I forgave her. On Sunday, she invited me to her baby's birthday and because she attended mine, I went there with my son. Before the D-day, she called my neighbour to say it was cancelled. Later, she called back that it will be a parlour party, I still attended out of love.
I ate at home in case the refreshments there weren't enough for the guests. I got there and I was open minded happy with her. I was served and since my tummy was still filled up, I asked her cousin to reduce the portion. She did and it was still much. I ate the salad but left the meat and rice. Her aunt even joked about my big tummy and we laughed over it. I drank some malt and wine too.
Now, this neighbour of mine who has been married for 32years without a child is a caterer (she baked the cake for the party) and loves eating party food asked me to bring some for her and since it was a child 's birthday, I decided to tell my friend about my neighbour's request and she gave me the food.
I got back, gave her the food and she was happy. My friend never thanked me for showing up. Instead, the "thank you" I got was a call to my neighbour to verify if she asked me to bring food for her and that she shouldn't cover up for me. When I heard this, I was broken. Her kids attended my baby's birthday and I packed lot for them to take home.
Hubby travelled and have been eating whatsoever I like. I cook rice with loads of meat bigger than the meat served at the birthday party, what do I need rice in a takeaway pack for when I have more than enough?
Please, I am sorry for my long write-up. I am crying as i type this..I wish I had even one sibling alive for me to confide in. I can't tell my hubby. Please, I need BVs to advise me, I beg you.
Good day Stella. I have been a silent BV. I so much love your blog though I could not comment for 4 years now, not until 2 days ago. Please, I am so broken and hurt. I need advice from your blog.
I met this lady through my neighbour. She was pregnant and scared because she didn't want to have another Cesarean Section. She invited me to her fellowship and I followed her because I just got married and I needed where to go for prayers. From there, we clicked and I took her as a sister I never had .
She comes to my house, we workout around my estate together. At a point, my husband said I don't have time for myself. I do not pray for myself but for someone I just met.
She delivered and I went to see her with my hubby. He brought some stuff for her and she was happy. I taught her few things about makeup, even her hubby said she has changed a lot since she met me.
In April, I started having problems from nowhere in my home. My mother-in-law came and it worsened. I was a shadow of myself. I went to that fellowship to pray over my problems. It didn't even cross my mind to greet anyone. 'God sees my heart that I was so depressed and, all i wanted to do was to pray.
The next day, I saw my friend in my neighbour's shop. I was happy to see her and greeted her, she didn't respond. My neighbour told her "your friend is greeting you". She replied "why didn't I greet her yesterday and why am I greeting her now that she wants to be on her own". He asked her if i gossiped, fought or offended her? He even asked her if she knows what I am passing through, all her answers were NO.
I stopped talking to her but continued greeting her. Then she came and beg me and I forgave her. On Sunday, she invited me to her baby's birthday and because she attended mine, I went there with my son. Before the D-day, she called my neighbour to say it was cancelled. Later, she called back that it will be a parlour party, I still attended out of love.
I ate at home in case the refreshments there weren't enough for the guests. I got there and I was open minded happy with her. I was served and since my tummy was still filled up, I asked her cousin to reduce the portion. She did and it was still much. I ate the salad but left the meat and rice. Her aunt even joked about my big tummy and we laughed over it. I drank some malt and wine too.
Now, this neighbour of mine who has been married for 32years without a child is a caterer (she baked the cake for the party) and loves eating party food asked me to bring some for her and since it was a child 's birthday, I decided to tell my friend about my neighbour's request and she gave me the food.
I got back, gave her the food and she was happy. My friend never thanked me for showing up. Instead, the "thank you" I got was a call to my neighbour to verify if she asked me to bring food for her and that she shouldn't cover up for me. When I heard this, I was broken. Her kids attended my baby's birthday and I packed lot for them to take home.
Hubby travelled and have been eating whatsoever I like. I cook rice with loads of meat bigger than the meat served at the birthday party, what do I need rice in a takeaway pack for when I have more than enough?
Please, I am sorry for my long write-up. I am crying as i type this..I wish I had even one sibling alive for me to confide in. I can't tell my hubby. Please, I need BVs to advise me, I beg you.
*This is normal neighbourhood gossip nau....When the going was good between the two of you,you wanna tell me you guys didn't gossip anyone?
What is the big deal in this?sweep your shoulders and keep it moving darling cos even the person that came back to tell you that she called to ask must also be guilty.
I advise that you call her and have a heart to heart and I am sure you both will find out that another neighbour will be responsible for poisoning the relationship.
Chronicles of housewives association
ReplyDeleteLet your heart not be troubled my dear.you won't be the first neither the last.Be strong if your happiness matters to you.
DeleteDo not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you--
DeleteEccl. 7:21
REASON I DONT DO TRIANGLE FRIENDSHIP......
DeleteTHERES ALWAYS A SNITCH.
ME AND YOU IS FINE. LOL
NOT ME, YOU AND HER. hehehehe
Awwwwn I love this chronicler..so mushy. At least not all those deep wicked things we read daily. Oya Aunty ohhh SNAP OUT of it and I mean NOWM What arrant nonsense. Ignore her, say hi when u meet. Set new goals for yourself with your wellbeing been your top priority. Make new friends. Contact someone from yons ago. Live Abeh
DeleteYou are too sensitive poster, must you have friends? Me I will cut you off and keep it moving. No time.
DeleteWhy are u hiding it from ur hubby, madam mind ur business, friendship is not by force hian.
ReplyDeleteExactly i don't see any chronicles here. U are taking it too serious poster
DeleteHave a heart to heart talk with her and a
ReplyDeleteAunty you get hurt easily o, you remind me of how I used to be, carrying friendship on my head like gala, it's not that serious if she doesn't want to be your friend ngwanu it's not by force, you were living just fine before she came to your life. You were born alone and would die alone so do not make anyone make you unhappy for a min, or take out of the hours of happiness you could have had especially when they can't give you the hours back. If want to discuss it with her do so, cus it's always better to talk over things but if not ku pasa
DeleteNawa
ReplyDeleteHonestly I know how you feel,just forgive her for your own happiness,some times we love the wrong person,ignore that part and look for the good part of her.
DeleteSee person wet no get work.
ReplyDeletemtweeeee
Na wa o, how do you pple do it? Pining and whining over nothing?
ReplyDeleteIf someone spreads gossip, dust ur shoulders and ignore the damn gossip, carry on wit ya life. Na dem go tire.
She is jobless
Deletehahahahaha that is friend for you. Is that why you are crying?
ReplyDeleteanyway na women gossip. enjoy the show small then you will know how to place your boundaries.
Sorry oooo you get plenty tears for eyes. kwontinu
Wetin Jollof rice go cause enh?
ReplyDeleteThat's all I see.. Lol
DeleteHmm... I dont know the advice you need oo... Just stay in your lane and mind your business.
ReplyDeleteShe is a spiteful person..Simple. You are very sensitive so you should do away with friends like that. They prey on your weakness
ReplyDeleteNeighbours count me out I love my sanity everything is a competition for them you show them love and when it please them they spite you because you are going through one stuff or the other, my darling please stay in your lane you can never please anyone and no one can show you love like you want except yourself so shut your doors and pray your prayers while taking care of your husband and baby is it by force to have friends?
ReplyDeleteThat is why is not advisable to keep a close friend in the neighborhood. .. Just be friends from a long distance with ur neighbors, greet them and pass.. .
ReplyDeleteMy dear is not a big deal that will make you to be crying
Ah na wah o. Is there a big deal in going home with take away from a friend's party? Me i do sometimes especially if i don't want to cook when i get home(only with trusted friends though) we do it amongst ourselves. Poster just cut that lady off because she is not really your friend and NEVER DISCUSS YOUR FAMILY ISSUES WITH HER OR SO CALLED FELLOWSHIP MEMBERS. You can't just go about telling people your issues, you will hate yourself when the whole neighbourhood starts talking about you. Talk to God instead, He hears. He helps.
ReplyDeleteSo in essence you're one of those who cant survive without friends? And who don't know how to snub people snubbing them?
ReplyDeleteNext time you greet someone and they don't answer you ignore them henceforth. I don't know why some of you feel the need to have people in your life. Are they God??!! Na them create you?? Na them born you?? Na them give you air breathe??! No be say na bosom friend sef oh na person you just meet for Lagos. Abeg abeg.... madam just grow up.
Why are you even all chitty chatty with neighbours? Better learn to love people from a distance around your place of residence. Apart from my next door neighbour who is a young wife my mum counsels, prays with and did small omugwo for, we don't know any neighbours name. My mum jogs and does aerobics with them when she finishes she waves and returns to her home. Never seen anyone knock on her gate to say she's looking for xx. The woman has her own friends but I mean I grew up understanding that relationship with neighbours should be handled with wisdom. Better close all that information stream and keep your business private.
P.S: I used my mum as an example before you will anonymously tell me that I'm not married and I won't understand and marriage isn't easy. Yet na una use hand find drama
Looool @ your last paragraph. She's just worried for nothing.
DeleteShe no get wahala she is just taking it so seriously
DeleteHonestly I don't see a Chronicle here cause just like Stella said, this is just a normal thing among neighbours. Perhaps it's because you're going through some difficult times that's why you're overreacting. It is well with you poster.
ReplyDeleteNo chronicles oh Aburo Adele. She is just overreacting and taking things too serious
DeleteBabe Stop crying...just gather thick skin and send nobody.
ReplyDeleteIf you must have friends, go out of your Estate/Neighborhood/Compound.
Cheer up 😘 #Amebonawork
I don't know why you women will not stay on your own!
ReplyDeleteShe tell me,I told her!
Madam be your self.If you are less busy read your bible or watch movies in your house!
Idleness causes gossips. Find something and start doing to keep yourself busy nomater how small.
I warned my wife not to have anything to do with all these neighborhood friendships,and she is keeping to that.One man mopol.
We don't have muscles to fight or skills for dramas!
Madam try and get busy inugo?
Women matter, na so e dey be. Osikwa, osi ya, Asili gaba.
ReplyDeleteUna go dey alright last last.
No be small jollof rice matter hahahahaha. Jollof rice don cause plenty gbege
ReplyDeleteDon't mind them jollof rice jobless friends
Delete😂😂😂😂Stella dis your red pen na wa o...Though you told her the truth...Poster learn from this and Starr minding your business....stop neighboring up and down mbok,so that your respect will remain.. She will still come back later and apologize...forgive but keep your distance...
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha Poster, please i refuse to laugh @ your situation. I read this post hoping to see where you will mention that you were heart broken, abused by hubby or you lost your job,you are hungry or just the general bad news.....Whambam!!!!! You are just sulking over a non issue.
ReplyDeleteHold your ears and repeat after me......... I did not come into this life to please everybody.
The less you fraternize with potential evil neighbors the better for you.
You wont have them as neighbors for ever, make friends outside the estate.
I am sure BV's will advice you on the steps to take to cure your lonely heart.
All the best
Eya na so all this neighbor thing dey dey. Just mind your business and keep greeting her. Sefini.
ReplyDeletePoster biko stay away from this kind of neighbour/friend. The next one she say may bring misunderstanding between you and hubby. I repeat stay on your own. Choose your friends wisely if you must have them,or better still be "FRIENDLESS" This life is complicated enough, don't allow your "so called friend make it worse. MAKE JESUS YOUR ONLY FRIEND HE DOESN'T GOSSIP.
ReplyDeleteThis why I dont have friends. I'm lonely most times,but it's for the best. No time for he said she said abeg.
DeleteI just think this is women and their pettiness I beg stay on ur own friendship is not by force. Ur friend is a busy body and so are u too. Lock up and ignore her instead of written chronicles yourself u no get mind cos of rice u dey cry better stay away from her she is not ur friend.
ReplyDeleteI like taking the bull by the horn. Call her and get an invite to see her. Politely tell her you don't understand why her attitude has changed and you're ok with it but that if she has any issues with you, she should let you know. If she doesn't open up, please leave her alone. You say she's been married for 32 years. That means she's not a child, so please be friends from afar. See the way you're beating yourself up over a non-issue. Don't you have other people you relate with? Please leave that kind of toxic friendship cos it isn't healthy
ReplyDeleteThis your comment to her Doesn't put her in a position of control rather a position of weakness. My thoughts though.
DeleteThis one too na chronicle? Don't concernstrate on your marriage . Be going round the estate looking for friends.
ReplyDeleteIs that why you are crying, please you need to toughen up. Women actually do worst to each other.
ReplyDeleteIf you still want the friendship call her and have a heart to heart talk. But remember this incident so that you dont get too close to her.
I can be your friend ooo...lol. you don't have to give yourself headache over this small brouhaha, is normal for people to gossip about you, helloooo, everybody does it expect for me sha 😊 just talk to her and ask her what is going on and if she still the same mbok MOVE ON! Initially i don't even like all this neighbour friendship, believe me, it doesn't last long instead it breeds jealosy, anger, greed etc. So madam please forgive and forget, just see it as one of those things that happen in life...take care
ReplyDeleteU need to stop taking gossips to heart. One thing about life is that,"you will talk about someone,"someone will talk about you too". No big deal. No need fighting her,just know ur limit henceforth.
ReplyDeletei find this really really petty, and why the hell are you even crying? dont you have issues to worry your pretty head over rather than this? you dont need to be in the good books of people to be happy? sometimes i forget i am Lucifer and i get emotional and begin to dish out good advice. madam face your front and leave her to wallow in her pool of gossip and whatever, i have a BQ for her in my abode.
ReplyDeletePoster sorry oh, i feel your pain but please be wise when choosing a friend, mostly neigbours up and down, forget that friend of yours, she is not your friend, if not why must she call to ask about party rice, na wa oh, humans and something else, abeg dust your shoulder, make her feel less important and focus on your family, if you must talk, tell it to God, and save yourself from heart breaks, most times it is jealous that causes all this wahala
ReplyDeleteMadam stop crying and move on without her, just greet her and go your own way since you are Neighbors.
ReplyDeletePlease this is Too petty. U hold little things to heart
ReplyDeleteMadam,you dont have a problem at all...Just stay in your lane.When i was single i didnt even know all of my neighbours in the compound back then and i was fine allthrough,no gossip wahala no issue at all.When i got married my husband is always complaining am not friendly so i had to be talking to the elderly woman staying in my compound and for 5 years no issue,not because she doesnt annoy us but because we try not to complain about what she does,now this year that hubby complained once ,she started keeping malice and abusing us sef,i was so happy,atleast they've showed hubby pepper so he understands now.As for me i no send,i dont like talking to people that much so i dey gidigba...ok..bye
ReplyDeleteMadam I would advice you call her and have a heart to heart talk with her since you obviously love her company so much. This your friend is a bad person, if she was a good friend instead of keeping malice or giving you an attitude She should have told you whatever it is she heard or saw and you guys would resolve the issue amicably.
ReplyDeleteGod works in mysterious ways maybe He doesn't want the friendship anymore or maybe you are guilty of saying or doing something against your friend.
Talk to God always,He is the best friend. He will never keep malice or give you an attitude.
This is how you know people who don't have work. Madam pls get busy with your life.
ReplyDeleteI was expecting to see where your friend snatched your hubby or lied to him about you.
ReplyDeleteMadam, na boredom dey worry you. Get yourself busy please.
The only thing you owe your neighbours is greeting.
My late father had 4 of us 2boys and 2girls, we the girls came first, on the day my father properly was shared my younger brother's name was always mentioned first before my elder sister before I and the last boy during the property sharing, no fight all went well till date. Emmy is a foolish and greedy man. Papa Emmy continue to rest in peace, do not allow Emmy fake cry to disturb you.
ReplyDeleteMove on and cut that frenemy off dear, its not worth it.
ReplyDeleteThat was how I treated one of my neighbours, she used to plait my hair my hubby complained about her behaviour when we got married newly I did not take him serious. 3 weeks after plaiting my hair her character will towards me cos she is a full house wife and I'm a a working class. If I greet her attimes she will not return my greeting, she will be staring at me as if I ate her portion of food. The one that got me annoyed was one morning I greeted her she didn't return my greeting and from that day I stopped every relationship I had with her even the hair plaiting sef. So poster better mind your biz and face your family shikina
ReplyDeleteThat was how I treated one of my neighbours, she used to plait my hair my hubby complained about her behaviour when we got married newly I did not take him serious. 3 weeks after plaiting my hair her character will towards me cos she is a full house wife and I'm a a working class. If I greet her attimes she will not return my greeting, she will be staring at me as if I ate her portion of food. The one that got me annoyed was one morning I greeted her she didn't return my greeting and from that day I stopped every relationship I had with her even the hair plaiting sef. So poster better mind your biz and face your family shikina
ReplyDeleteSee madam ...stay away from neighbors #draggingmyears..they are the ones that will tell people when u dont have food at home,when u are drinking garri,using icefish to cook..when i got married newly,my hubby was begging me to make friends cos am always alone at home i refused.when things got rough,i was fixing my expensive hair,rub my makeup and put a big smile on my face..no one knew we were going tru hell..if i had neighbors,they would have helped me to braodcast my situation..my dear,urs is even good u have a child what about people who dony have children to keep them company at home??abeg be a friend to urself
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteWipe your tears, nothing to cry about, rather you should be jubilating.
This God's way of warning you of what is to come. Based on my own personal experience, I would advise that you do not pursue this friendship. She has already revealed her real self and what is to come if you dont back out now.
When people tell and show you who they are, please take them seriously and accept them for what they are.
The worst mistake one can ever make is to start making excuses for such behaviour.
My dear if you persist witht this friendship, she wll damage (including your reputation) you in the long run. You may have considered her a sister but have you ever stopped to think that she may not necessarily feel the same way about you.
Please! Please! run a mile. Exchange pleasantries when you see her but keep her at a dstance.
LMAO@ I am crying while typing this😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😄😁😁😆😁😁🤣😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteAshiri from all angles. Provision seller knows what you are going through.. You went to the fellowship to pray.. You ate salad and asked for takeaway for another person.
Headacheeeee!!!!🤕🤕🤕🤕
If this is why you are crying..
I honestly and seriously advise that you:
CONTINUE.😁
@Iphie dearie see me oh? 💁 I was weak at the provision seller knowing what she was going through. The one that asked you to bring food, she couldnt send the celebrant a direct request? Anyway, as you take place yourself na it people go match you. Gosh.....
DeleteYou are giving your self unnecessary head ache, it's not compulsory to have friends. No need for heart to heart talk abeg who has time just let it go and stop neigbour friendship it's not need mind your business and stay in your house shikena.
ReplyDeletePlease ma, wipe your tears, she isn't worth it. If you do decide to take the high road and confront her like Stella said, please RECORD your conversation for posterity sake. I have told you this from experience..This will prevent more gossip.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile,please dry your tears. I understand your pain, but stop crying, PLEASE!
Poster nawa o so ur bane of exiaexist is tied to d umbliblical cord of dat ur friend???
ReplyDeleteMschew u must be low self esteemed
Poster are u a child? If no stop behaving like one haha Na by force to make frd abegi waka pass Dem both. Don't tell ur hubby he is gonna blame u for everything ooo
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing I will not read on this blog
ReplyDeleteEeeeeeeeeeeeeee my neighbour did this and I packed food that.
The last time I spoke with my handsome single neighbour was in 1217 when I mumured something that looks like a greeting and he murmured back...Lmao.
You people are so hilarious on this blog. Even me that is a softie does not have time for irrelevant things. I am very selective of who and where to spend my energy on.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
I read everything but the only think I remember is jollof rice... Lol
ReplyDeletePls fashi her side and make it look like she doesnt exist. if she was a good person when u went to fellowship and didnt greet her, she should have called or asked you what happened to you or something instead of carrying face and snubbing u when u greeted her d next day. u have lots on ur mind and its not her own matter u should carry for head.just move on jawe. some wo
ReplyDeleteMadam,it seems you share your problems with every one around you cos the shop owner was asking your friend if she knew what you are going through?My dear,it's better to stay in your house and mind your business.Recharge your phone and surf the internet if you are bored.Watch series,read blogs.I live in a mini estate and I have never entered anybody's house,we wave each other when driving out,one of my neighbors came with familiarity but since i didn't give green light,she stopped coming.Stop giving room for disrespect,mind your business and stay in your house.If you need someone to talk,talk to Stella or come let's be online friends
ReplyDeleteDiaris nothing to cry over..if u feel ur friendship wt her HV nothing to offer then cut it off dear.
ReplyDeleteSee me reading line after line waiting for the chronicle proper to start, for the chronicle to go south like during prayers it was revealed that your new friend is a witch and behind the issues with your mother Inlaw and she comes at night to suck your son's blood etc! Sorry don't mind me o! Beer parlour chronicle is still a chronicle sha, I think you're lonely and you and hubby aren't very close. Work on that, and on your son, on your home in general. You'll be fine!
ReplyDeleteNext...!
House wife chronicles, such is life.
ReplyDeletePoster...please stop crying over this small issue. It's normal women talk....move past this bikonu and do as if you didn't hear anything
ReplyDeleteBabe, unfriend her. Life is too short to fill it up with people who give you headache Biko.
ReplyDeleteMadame You have a valid problem.
ReplyDeleteYour cry is that of loyalty in friendship. You can only find that in Jesus Christ. Trust me society has build our mindset that gossiping is normal.we can only be valued if we fit in.
It's time to love yourself, you've got low self-esteem like your friend. True.
Gossiping doesn't end well and some people don't learn. I see the drama everyday and Chanel m'y energy else where
You better stay far away from her.
ReplyDeleteMy Story: When I just moved back to Nigeria, our neighbour who is much older than me, took me under her wings. I went to fellowship with her, parties, everywhere. I later discovered that she and her bunch of useless friends were all chronic lesbians and she tried to initiate me, but I vehemently refused. Hubby warned me to stay away from her, but I did not listen.
Fast forward a year or so later, my hubby started misbehaving and became very mean to me. I told this my older friend. Her advise was that I should also preoccupy myself with someone else, that people do it a lot and no one has to know.
I was very stressed, stupid and foolish. In my confused state, I heeded to her advice and that became my biggest mistake! Hubby found out and threw me out!
This guy I am seeing felt really guilty and moved me into his house, pending the time I get my own place and also told me he wants to marry me. I don't love him. I miss my hubby but he won't have me back. Moreover, my mum really hates this guy with a passion and she says over her dead body will I marry him.