Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

Ohmygoodness..oh dear!!!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

WHEN THE ABUSER TAGS ALONG

 I was s§xually abused at 13. He was an older guy, should be around in his late 30s or early 40s then. He said he was in love with me and I believed him wholeheartedly. I met him at my mom’s store during one of my high school holidays. 

He gave me so much attention I couldn’t resist his charm. I started sneaking out to see him in his house. He will kiss me and touch me and that was the only thing I could think about all night. My mum started suspecting my strange movements and cautioned me about it. She also noticed he kept coming to the store frequently to buy things. I remember one day I sneaked out of the store to go and see him and my mom noticed I had gone somewhere, she beat me that night and I could tell she was disappointed in me.

 However, I was never sure if she knew who I really went to see. Shortly after this, he told me he has been transferred to another state. It was too much for me to handle as my lover would be gone. He promised to come around sometime to check on me.

The holiday was coming to an end and my parents decided to enrol me in a holiday lesson program to prepare me for the next academic session. One day, he called me to say he misses me and will love to come and see me and have s§x with me for the first time. I knew I wasn’t ready for s§x but I felt I had to do it for him because I loved him. So I agreed to have s§x with him. He lodged in a hotel and I went to see him during the lesson time.. 

He tried having s§x with me but the pain was unbearable and I had to go home so he stopped and gave me the phone he bought for me so we can communicate better.

Of course we both knew it was inappropriate for both of us to walk out of the hotel together. So I went out ahead of him. On my way out, I saw my mum sitting in the hotel pavement waiting for me. She made sure we made eye contact before she left the place. I followed behind her. She went back to her store like nothing happened. I went to the kitchen and picked up a knife to stab myself. I tried to do it three times but could not. I went into the bedroom and slept off. Suddenly, I felt a hard wood on my body, it was my mum waking me up with a cane. She was crying and beating me at the same time and expressing her disappointment. I kept apologising and swearing that I did not have s§x. 

She said she had to tell my dad.

The next few days were very quiet in the house. My mum found the phone he got for me and seized it. After thinking about the whole thing, I decided to stop seeing him. I reconciled with God and went back to school. I was worried if my mum had told my dad about it so I called my dad and he confirmed she told him. I still remember his words” I am very disappointed in you” I apologised as much as I could and that was it. My parents never mentioned it again. I was glad about that, I was only thirteen but now I wonder why they did not say or do anything about it.

I could not stop seeing him. I missed him. He promised to come see me again but this time in a discreet place. I took a pass from school and went to see him that Saturday. It was his friend’s house and I was determined to have s§x this time. I bear the pain. I was fourteen. He gave me a drug(mestrogen) so I don’t get pregnant.

The distance did not make it easy for us to see as often as I would have wanted and several times we just stopped talking for a long time. I knew it was wrong to keep having s§x with him. I never liked the s§x. It was always too painful. Several times, I rededicate my life to God or so I thought but always relapsed and went back to my abuser.

I decided to spend holiday in his state(with my dad) just so I can be closer to him. He finally told me he was married. I was hurt. I thought we would get married at some point. However, I did not stop seeing him. I could not let go.

I got into university and dated other people and almost forgot about him until time for my internship. He found a place for me.. We started having s§x regularly. The pain had stopped. He took me to his house and we would have s§x while his wife was at work. I met his children and I was just fine with having s§x with their father.

He started becoming jealous of younger guys around me. He would say he can’t see me if I hang around young guys. He said I should stay with only him until I was ready to get married. I was 20 years old.

I couldn’t cope with seeing him. I always felt angry, dirty, jealous after seeing him. I decided again to stop seeing him. He eventually traveled abroad. Said hello to me once in a while. One day, he asked me if I am bitter towards him. I said no. However, I asked him why he would want to have s§x with a thirteen years old girl. He swore he was in love with me and meant no harm.

I also traveled out of the country eventually. He was one of the first people I called. I was already planning to see him again. I’ve not seen him yet because I keep having moments of highs and lows. I need help. I am 24 years old.

*He was in love with a 13 year old girl?OMG,what kind of sickness is this?And you need help fast.....WHAT!!!!

Cut off all contact and stop encouraging him...You need to do this for yourself NOW!!!.....