Labour Room Drama 199

Laugh out loud kinda story.....

Hello Stella. You rock! As in... You rock die! Thank you for this wonderful platform. 

Now to my story... My pregnancy was really eventful. From loss of appetite to vomiting to frequent urination at the early stages i couldn't keep any food down, other than Ijebu garri without sugar. The urination was so bad that i had to start wearing sanitary pads because urine gushes out when i puke.

 It was not funny at all. My second trimester was all about spitting. I started going around with containers to spit in. I started retaining water in my third trimester. I swelled up to the point that there was no space for water to store itself anymore. Sometimes i would just start crying when i look in the mirror... Lol... 

Even my eyelids were swollen. Finally at 39 weeks I was tired of  being pregnant. Everyone thought i was carrying twins. My husband and I went to the doctor and asked to be induced, but we were told to wait for another two weeks to see what happens. Finally my due date came, but no show. 

The next day was my antenatal appointment, after the normal bp and urine check, the doctor said my bp was high and i had protein in my urine. Finally they booked me to be induced the next day which happened to be a Sunday! Hallelujah! 

When we got home that Saturday morning, I went straight to lie down, but couldn't really sleep, after about 1hour, I felt the urge to pee. As soon as i stood up from the bed, my water broke and started pouring out. I just went to sit on the wc to still urinate, but after urinating, water still was coming out, so we called the hospital and i was told to come over immediately. I was a bit reluctant because i had read somewhere that it is better that labor progresses before heading to the hospital, but my dh refused. Oga was like... Lets go now. 

During my pregnancy, i had armed myself with labor room experiences where women took off their clothes and were walking around naked, but i wasn't gonna do that, so i wore the kaftan i had arranged for myself, so that i wont have to remove my cloth... Stella! Little did i know!. 

When we got to the hospital, i was given a bed space, and we settled in. By this time, i just felt slight discomfort, not even as serious as menstrual cramps. I was just gisting with hubby. At a point i told him to go help me get corn and pear (ube), and i ate everything.

 He bought rice and I ate it too. Stella, my longer throat during the final weeks of my pregnancy was powerful. After about 4 hours of this discomfort that had progressed to painful menstrual cramps, the doctor came to check me, he said i was 2cm dilated! Ha! 2cm since! 

 While the doctor was checking me, the first real contraction hit me. That was how official labor began. Stella it wasn't funny mehn! I had read somewhere that walking around speeds things up, so i started walking around and mooing like a cow. 

Around 10pm, i was taken to the labor ward and i was the only one in there. I started singing, praying quoting the scriptures . Hubby was there with me but he was looking confused... It was after i put to bed that one of the nurses told me that he kept going outside the labour ward to cry... Lol. 

Stella, at some point, i was just talking gibberish. I didn't know when i removed my special kaftan, I stood there in all my pregnant glory and didn't care. I turned the labor ward into a church, forced the nurses to join me in singing....

 In the middle of the songs, i will start cussing out loud! Screaming f*ck, sh*t...

 The nurses would just look at themselves... I could tell they were trying their best not to laugh . After plenty drama, i begged them to go call the doctor to come check me, only for they guy to check and tell me i progressed to 3cm! 

Stella come see craze! I started speaking pidgin, me that has been speaking queens English before. I told my hubby to call our pastor as i was getting tired.

 He called and the pastor prayed with me on the phone, thirty minutes later, the doctor checked again,I had progressed to 8cm. This was around 3am. I couldn't stand again, i had to lay down and cry while my hubby and the nurse took turns to massage me. By 4am i felt an urge to push.... I told the nurse  and started pushing she was like no... Madam please don't.

 I was lifted on the bed where i would eventually birth my child. As soon as my back touched the bed, the labor pain vanished doctor checked and said 9cm, but no more contractions after waiting for sometime, they set up a line for the Oxytocin drip to induce labor... But i didn't feel anything, i was just crying and drifting in and out of consciousness.

 I needed to sleep so bad. At about 6:26 am, i heard the voice of the MD (God bless him). It was like his voice was what i needed to hear.... "madam you are doing really great! Wow.... Now all you have to do is listen to my voice... As soon as you feel the next contraction push with all your strength " I didn't even know that i was fully dilated. Since i wasn't feeling anything, i decided to push anyway. At my first push I crowned.... Like the strength came from nowhere. 

The doctor adjusted the baby and said ok push now, before i could muster the strength to give it a second go, my baby flew out! Just like that, i born pikin. I couldn't believe it. My baby came out at exactly 6:30am on Sunday morning, it was raining heavily... 

Every other thing was a blur... I heard my hubby crying really loudly and saying thank you Jesus, the doctor was birthing my placenta, i was bleeding heavily and i just needed to sleep so bad. After the nursed were able to stop the bleeding, i was cleaned up and taken to my room, my baby girl was nicely dressed and was fast asleep... I looked at her and broke down in tears. She had so much hair! So beautiful. Wow! I would never forget.

 It was a defining moment for me. She is one year and three months now, and i have eaten all the fried meat in the house and drank Pepsi today....this nasty uncontrollable urge to eat everything i come across. I guess i am in for round two!.

*Hahahahahahaha congrats on your second pregnancy.....or is that not why you are eating everything again?your husband cry finish e still climb step...bwahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahaahhaha

Two you go and see dan somewia!

Congrats...Really funny story.