So sad!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIAGE BY FORCE LOADING...
I'm ***** and I also comment with the same name on the blog, Pls cut this part or asterisk my name.
My aunty has become the source of my weeping and sadness. As I type this, I just came back from work about one hour ago. I greeted her, no answer. My life story
I'm a 29 years old single lady. My mum died when I was 13 and dad died when I was 18. I had just gained admission then, I had to drop out and re apply again after three years for a part time programme which I managed to finish. All this while, me and my two younger siblings had been distributed to different relatives. I was handed over to my aunt, my late mum's immediate younger sister and abandoned there by my uncles.
All the while, I'm living with them, I am their house girl in return. I do all the house work including washing all the clothes of the family of seven. I also hawked plantain for my aunt in the mornings. did this for two years before I started doing waitress in evening at a bar and saved money to go back to school. l paid all my school fees from beginning till the end by myself installmentally because my guardian said no money.
Thank God for the little tips I get at work aside salary.
After I finished school, two years, I couldn't get a better job, I then enrolled for tailoring training while still working in the evenings. By now, it was hell at home, my aunt said I was a burden to her, I should get married and leave her house since I can't find a good job or rich boyfriend to support her well. That I suppose to be paying their house rent by now, mind you, I was already giving her more than half of my 20k for home keeping before month end.
The rest I used to survive for the rest of the month. I forgot to add that she divorce her husband when i,was in final year.
All through my life, I did not have serious boyfriend. If they want to get serious they will just stop communicating and end it. Till last two days I still dream of my self eating and seeing myself in my primary school.
All through my life, I did not have serious boyfriend. If they want to get serious they will just stop communicating and end it. Till last two days I still dream of my self eating and seeing myself in my primary school.
Since beginning of this year, she have been telling me to get pregnant for any man that show interest in me and move in with him. I have been lying to her that pregnancy refused to enter. She now introduce one of her ex husband's friend to me and said he likes me. He said I should date him and get pregnant for him that he is fertile and has two wives with 7 kids. The man too said he will rent apartment for me and establish a tailor shop for me if I get pregnant for him, a man of 57 years old.
I told her I have never dated a married man all my life and can't do it. Now she has warned me since Thursday to leave her house this weekend or else she will throw my things outside. I have been begging her to give me some time but she did not agree. She doesn't go to church, I would have begged her pastor to beg her. Her only friend is just like her. She too was telling me to agree.
Stella, right now I don't have any boyfriend, no friends to run to. My younger ones too are struggling to survive where they are.
I had to delete my Facebook account when I was seeing my mates doing well in their jobs, getting married and having babies, invitation here and there. I finished my tailoring training, no money to buy tools even small sewing machine. I normally beg a neighbour to allow me use her own when I get clothes to sew My aunt demands money from me almost everyday and I try my best for peace to reign since I don't have where to go.
I need bvs advise, should I agree to their arrangement and get pregnant for the man, after he give me money for business and house rent I should dump him and run and go and sort myself in another state.
Or should I allow my aunt to throw me out and believe God for a miracle .
I'm just confused Stella. Here is my picture for your eyes only so you will see I'm not bad looking. Is this how life is? Please I need your advice urgently, Sunday is the deadline she gave me. I have been sad and confused since Thursday.
Thanks all.
*Ewwwww you are so pretty...
Please DO NOT AGREE TO WHAT YOUR AUNT WANTS,I am sure she has sold you to the man and collected money.
Call her bluff and leave but i hope she does not go to poison the minds of the other relatives where your other siblings live?
Why dont you have friends?
Na wah
Please anyone who thinks they can help should please mail me for her contact...She lives in Lagos.
Don't listen to your aunt, if you have a friend you can squat with for a bit, please move. I hope you find the help that you need.
ReplyDeleteDoppelgänger please if you see this, check your mail. X.
Chikito asked you a question about cv under anon but guess you didn't see it. It has passed but bc of next time, lemme still ask. If you make a mistake in your cv, should you follow up with an updated copy or just apply again?
I have responded to all emails.
DeleteYou said you earn 20k a month, I know peeps who survive on that. They rent small rooms etc and this is your lobster moment as they say.
DeleteShe gives her aunt the bulk of th 20k so that she can like her. Poster you effed up. And you say you live in Lagos? Your head is still in your village
DeleteI really pray u get help sis 😢
Delete#it is well
Don't try it.
ReplyDeleteYour life will move from bad to perpetual misery
Call her bluff.
Don't leave her house on your own. Allow her throw your things out and nake sure you cry and beg that it will attract neighbours so that it will be on the record that she did push you out.
Otherwise, she will lie to relations when they ask that you ran away from home she she was trying to help you.
I just wish, I hope you get help as to where to go if she eventually does that.
This is really sad. People are indeed wicked. And to think this is your mum's sister? Tsk tsk tsk! Too bad
Another very good point by Bloglord!
DeleteMake sure your other family members and neighbours are aware that she's asking you to leave her house.
...and then again, why did you have to delete your Facebook account? Shutting down avenues where you could get help(???).
DeleteYour friend's are doing well and you have their contacts via Facebook, you reckon which could possibly be of help and you reach out to them rather than confine yourself to the state you find yourself and swelling in self pity. You can never know except you try right? Someone may have just hooked you with a job or something even bigger.
Open up to those around you so you can get help ok? Stop limiting your options cos this your aunt? Forget it. She no get head.
It is well with you
Bloglord, some Aunts are the Devil himself. My story is similar only that my own parents were still alive I I village.
DeleteI would turn a big pot of fufu every morning before going to work, fetch water and clean. When I come back I will cook. Later she start saying I should go and marry becos the house is too small(room andparlour). If I sleep over in a man's house she won't complain instead when I m back she will ask 'why don't you move in with him?'
And she was collecting money for foodstuff and weekends soup from me every weekend while still complaining that I'm stingy. My mum's younger sister o.
I later got a job far from hom and moved in with another relative closer to work. She started by mouthing me everywhere include village. To be continued...
Bloglord is just right, make a seen the day of your eviction for a proof of her cruelty towards you. If you are committed in your church talk to your pastor as soon as possible so that if she carry out her threat you can be able to stay in the church till you can raise enough for your accommodation. Stop giving her your salary, if you can train yourself through school without her help you definitely survive outside her home.
DeleteSo she was bad mouthing me up up to the village. My mum wept when she heard the things this woman said about me. That I was a prostitute, I used to steal in her house, I'm stingy, I am wicked bla bla bla
DeleteI ignored her and her kids. I was enjoying my new place but always seeing myself in my wicked aunt house In my dreams. Her kids will be mocking me In the dream. It's a long story. I later married after series of prayers and deliverance. Years later till today, we don't see talk less of talk. I once asked in the comment section one day when Stella was Preaching restitution and forgiveness if i should reach out to her as i heard she is in a bad shape, majority said I should stay on my lane. So I'm still on my Lane even though we are in the same state. but she communicates with her sister who Is my mum. Mum too have been begging me to call her and just greet her. I refused.
My dear remain in your lane. Wicked relatives. Poster should let her aunt throw her things out herself before they will accuse her of stealing
DeleteAnnonymous, truth be told,if U die in this state of heart it is hell. Pls reach out to her give her wat U hav that can help her and let God fight ur battle.
DeleteWow Anon,
DeleteGod fought for you. HE prepared a table for you in the presence of your enemy.
You know, I do not belong to the category that prays for "my enemies" to die straight up, I prefer them to live and see the goodness of God in my life. That in itself is a killer. When they think you'd amount to nothing and before their very eyes, you become all of what they least expected you to be and more..., that shows them they have no power over you and God is God.
Dear Anon, pls reach out to her, but pray before you do. If you have some cash, pray on it, take the cash to your pastor, tell him what transpired and let him pray with you and the money.
Pay your aunt a short visit, tell her you've forgiven her, give her the cash for her treatment and leave. Dont eat nor drink anything she offers you. Your purpose of visit is to let her know youve got nothing against her anymore.
After that, maintain your distance. Don't get close to her or her children. Always be diplomatic whenever they come seeking.
All the best.
Please do not reach out to her for anything.
DeleteForgive in your heart and move on.
Even the Bible says give with wisdom. Be wise as serpents and calm as doves.
Be wise.
You're on a different track now, don't look back. It's a trap.
If you must look back,only to see how far you've come.
I'm the kind of person once I cross some certain bridges, I burn the bridges.
Not only the bridges, the clothes I wear to burn the bridges. I have no time to wallow in the past.
As long as your heart bears no evil towards her, you are good to go.
All this time knowing who your aunt is you should have started making arrangements to leave. You don't have to rent a place but see the problem with youths these days is that you people don't know how to network. You bottle up your problems and act like all is well meanwhile fire is burning your ass. I'm not saying you should sing your problems to the first person you meet but you went to school and tailoring school yet you don't know anyone that you can put up with for a while till you sort yourself out? I'm even upset you're asking if you should go ahead and do what your aunt said. So if anyone tells you to do so, you'd do it? As in spread your legs and sleep with a married man for empty promises? So if he sleeps with you and does nothing what will you do? Take his dick print to the police to hold him accountable to his words? My dear, tailoring is a very profitable venture and the sooner you go looking for places where you are needed you'd keep complaining. Not having tools is not an excuse, you can get someone who is already established to work with and get paid. Many of you just want to learn work then rush to open shop to become madam shop owner, sometimes nurture that skill more because it's possible you weren't taught everything when you were in training. I pray a helper locates you or that your aunt changes her kind. Tell her to give you time, pray before you do and God will come through
ReplyDelete*mind
DeleteYou even lay more emphasis on it!
DeletePoster, I hope you are reading reasonable comments from reasonable BVs, not those ones that will advice you to indulge your aunt's evil plans.
Everyone is so desperate to be a boss without knowing the boss's rules.
I tell you Doppelganger
DeleteThe man will just be using her an can even impregnate her and then abandon her. What is the proof that he promised her things? Which court will judge their case?
Poster read the advice above. Unless you are not a good person if not then you should be able to get somewhere stay for some time. If you dear follow your aunts advice it might not end well, because you have two wives and 7 step children to contend with. Make new friends
DeleteUsing pregnancy to get to a married man with be a bigger mistake.
DeleteSay a big NO to the man and make arrangements to leave your Aunts house... Please don't forget to network and make new friends.
Be strong and steadfast... This too shall pass!!!
Poster, do get pregnant and mother a child in your condition is jumping from frying pan to fire. Don't try it. Look for someone's house and move in. I hope at least one bv will help you
DeleteSo sad. Do not give in.
ReplyDeleteHold in to God
Ask for help in church too.
Do not, I repeat do not follow any man, since you know how to go, you can go to a crowded place we're tailors are found, they rent machines and can also link you up to people who are looking for tailors for their own business. You don't need a machine or have a shop if you were in Abuja I would have directed you to a place but my dear check around you and please make friends that's very important
DeleteDifferent people, different problems
ReplyDeleteMay God help you poster. Some Aunts are from hell
Poster anybody can make promises but to keep them is a big problem, that man won't do the things he promised and you would be left stranded. You should not have dealings with a married man of two wives nd 7 kids. He is saying those things so he can sleep with u and take advantage of you. You should have tried to confide in those friends of yours making it, maybe by now u would have an idea of where u would squat for some time
DeleteDon't get pregnant for that man.
ReplyDeletePolygamists are worse philanderers.
Stop giving her ur money n save it for urself, or play for time, agree to see d man, play him,no fuckery o, play them all.
This is really so sad. Why are people so wicked??? What does it take to be nice to a fellow human talk more of your own relative.
ReplyDeleteIs it that these people don't have conscience???
My dear, for ur sanity, find small change and even if it's a face me I slap u accommodation u can get, move into that.
Watch how doors will open for u once u leave such toxic environment.
Stella do a post on JAZZ. A lot of people are suffering from eating,sex in the dream etc and it's affecting them all around. Pls do and let's learn afterall it won't kill anyone biko.
ReplyDeleteDo not succumb to this woman's greed and cruelty.
ReplyDeleteThink about if you were one of the wives of this man, will you like another girl to get pregnant for your husband? Do not block your way with thorns. God who watches over the affairs of mankind will give you your own home. Though the suffering may be for a while, you'd triumph.
Go and squat with a friend for the mean time, don't go and run your mouth and tell her that you are leaving o, just pack your things and tell her you are leaving that very moment. Then look for a cheap one room and stay, atleast you will have rest of mind. My orphan cousin left her abusive husband at age 20 with few months baby without telling any1 even us her family, sold her phone and was washing plate in a restaurant for over 6 months. If she can do it with a little baby, then it won't be too difficult for you
ReplyDeleteU see why is good to make friend's, no man is an Ireland, don't know what to say.
ReplyDeleteIreland ko, Spain ni.
DeleteLol
DeleteAngel ray, it is spelt 'Island'
DeleteDon't mind all those mocking you, we learn everyday but next time, always look up words bigger than you on google before you type them here.
Thank you Doppelganger
ReplyDeleteThe old man may sleep with her, get her pregnant and she will still remains in her aunts house. The man may not fulfill any promise. What will she do with a baby at hand? He may end up paying for a one room apartment for her and then abandon her and the baby there. I have seen such cases many times.
This is sad. Poster call her bluff.
ReplyDeleteBut please fellow bvs am I just the one seeing here that every poster thinks their problem is spiritual?
Exhibit a: they always have bf that 'suddenly' disappear. ( they won't tell us whether they were side chick oh, or whether the guy was a player)
Exhibit b: they always eat in dreams. (Please really and trully what does food have to do with anything)
All in all the problems are always glaringly obvious, poverty, previous post mother had too many children, this one now no support.
The real problem is NIGERIA!!!!! Poverty everywhere, no support for the poor, no job, no lnfrastructure etc
The problem is external not internal.
P.s let's not forget to apportion blame to pastors on a money making mission who are fuelling the paranoia.
Jesus fix Nigeria!!!!!
Anon 15:23 na their way for Nigeria, it's so annoying. Not saying spiritual problems don't occur but, to attribute everything to'spiritual'is just 😴 tiring. A bird crows in the morning, it is spiritual, a Dog poos on your doorstep,it is spiritual, men I just 😴 tire jare.
DeleteGbam!!!
DeleteYou have said it all except that your last sentence which I know is a joke which a lot of people may not get. WE have to fix Nigeria. Everybody start by fixing yourself.
But as regards the chronicle of the other day, why will any sane woman (whose 1st child is in her 20s oh and should definitely know better) have 8 children all in the name of looking for a boy? This is what we call afowo fa. Then we run around calling Jesus for what he didn't send is to do.
I digress I know.
lol I just tire for the woman oh. Wet in boy go do wet girl nor fit do?
DeletePoster please, don't accept their offer! Your aunt is a wicked woman, how can she sell you out to a man with two wives and multiple children.
ReplyDeleteSomeone that is supposed to be there for you until things falls in place.
Why don't you have friends? How do you people survive without friends
Why don't you go to any Catholic church around you to seek for refuge since she has given you Sunday as deadline. The Catholic church can be very helpful in a case like this.
You said your aunt doesn't go to church, but did she also stopped you from going? In situation like this, the leaders and members of your denomination are supposed to come to your aid and rescue.
I'm really short of words, I know firsthand how it feels to be threatened to be thrown out especially when it's coming from a family member.
I pray you find the help you need and deserve soon.
Please, don't give in to your aunts plans.
Darling, it's possible for people not to have friends if they have a bad character. When they say freinds, it doesn't mean gossip Mates and people you only hang out with. I can count my friends with my ten fingers but if I need anything that I or my family can't do for me I know that before I finish talking to 5 out of my 10 friends
DeleteShit,I clicked published before I finished typing.
Delete... 10 friends solution would come out. Most people keep bad company then when they have issues they can't go to these people because those kind of friends are the one's to spread your gist or shame them and probably that's because they are also not truthful in their dealings. Anyway, I pray she finds help it's probably my privilege talking but please mind the company you keep and ensure to keep your circle small and useful
Some people don't have friends because of low self esteem. This poster seem like one.
DeleteShe bottled up and allowed herself to be in bondage under her greedy aunt.
Poster, dust yourself up and tell yourself that you can make it too. Reconnect with some of your FB friends and open up to them. Meanwhile tell your aunt that you see reasons with her, that her suggestion is good. She should give you three days to think about it. Use the three days to arrange your new place to stay. be mindful of people you open up to sha.
Na wa for some people ooo, if the lady later become great in the future that is when you will be hearing story that touches the heart eg,that is my niece, am the one that took care of her etc...i know we shall all reap what we sow. Dear i pray your helper will locate you, pls dont give in to this der evil scheme. May God help us all...stay safe dear
ReplyDeleteYou made a mistake by giving her more than half of your salary. You shouldn't have told her your actual salary, maybe you could have told her your salary is 10k...so you can be saving, by now you should have saved enough to rent one room apartment and manage till things get better. Anyway the deed is done... Try to get see talk to the pastor of your church... Maybe a church member could help you out. God bless you
ReplyDelete#Focus on what matters and let go of what doesn't*
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad
ReplyDeletePoster, why are you so fearful? What is the worst thing Life can do to you?
ReplyDeleteTo us has not been given the spirit of fear but power & Love and a sound mind
We all need a bit of bravery and courage in this world... just a little bit
A bit of faith - Believe,Just believe...cast away that heavy cloak of fear around you
Afraid of your Aunty, afraid of failure, afraid of being alone, afraid of making decisions
Even afraid of eating in dreams...
Y'all make the devil more powerful than he is with your fear when he has no power over you except that which you give him- girl, you are so intimidated by your fear
Those sob stories you carry are causing you low self esteem
Parents, teach your kids to be brave and courageous, - so that as adults they will not be so whiny and so pitiful.
Karma loading 75% for that your aunty. Please don't give in she wants you to be as miserable as herself. I repeat don't budge.
ReplyDeleteI am glad u have a skill even on this blog ads are made ppl looking for tailors to partner with or run their biz for them. Ppl wait for her to push u out and ur alarm must reach all ur neighbors bfore leaving. U could also start complaining to other relatives about the recent development to see if they can intervene and accommodate you for only 8months.
No dey give out ur Money to her again so u can rent an apartment a couple of months later.
My dear I really feel for u. May Divine rescue come.
Gush...to think that I just let in someone with accommodation issues into a free room in my apartment just three days ago.
ReplyDeletePlease DO NOT even allow the thoughts of giving-in to your aunty's demands stay in your head for a single minute.
ReplyDelete1. You need a good or supportive social circle but first of all, you need to grow up quickly - grow up in faith, in confidence, in mentality, in knowledge, in courage etc...
2. Many don't know this but knowledge increases confidence - read good books..spending time on fb monitoring people's success leads to low esteem - if you must, reach out to successful friends and see if they know of any opportunities.. this helps expand your network and removes unnecessary envy
3. You must learn to make decisions - sadly, many Nigerian young adults cannot make decisions. Decisions should be based on faith and logic, not fear. For instance giving your Aunty 20k a month should have been used in paying rent and living on your own. How do you live with someone who can obviously poison you? (I know your parents taught you to respect ya elders but boo, you're an adult now, wisdom is necessary)
4. Truth is your Aunty owes you nothing, she owes you nothing, she owes you nothing - if you have this mentality, you will go a long way in life. So don't focus on her and her negative talks
5. Don't be intimidated into marrying that man - stand up to her and say NO. Or skillfully pretend to be considering him while you make plans to leave her house
6. And please don't think any man or suitor or prince is coming to save you. Jesus has already come and gone. He is the one that saves. If you put hopes on that you will be disappointed. You need more confidence and self-discovery before marriage. With all the sad things happening in marriages, I think your getting married in this state of no money/no confidence/no degree might do more harm than good.
7. e-hugs, e-hugs, e-hugs. Breathe in. breathe out. May God give us the courage to make good decisions.
Chinny God bless u
DeletePoster read and digest this comment
My dear poster,as Angelray4sdk said,no man is an Ireland.
ReplyDeleteI guess all men are Greece-y.You really can't hold on to promises from a Philistine.
I hope your aunty gets what's coming for her.After all 'what is good for the Jews is also good for Uganda.
Lmao!
We've been getting chronicles like this lately.
Hmmm....
😂😂😂😂
DeleteSavagery
DeleteIdi mean
Looool !
Nne you not having a friend dikwa some how.
ReplyDeleteDon't get pregnant for any man.
Search well. You must see someone to stay with ATM.
God is your strength
Your aunt is as mean as they come. Despite all your contributions she still issued this insensitive ultimatum.smh
ReplyDeleteThe other worrying thing is that you do not have friends. It's difficult to imagine that throughout your part time program and your sewing lessons or even before that you did make any friends. Even bad people have friends who never help them.
Do not give in to your aunt . Try a Catholic Church and see if you can be accommodated temporarily. You have learnt a very lucrative skill , put it to work.
Enough with the regrets and self pity as these will in no way be a positive influence which is what you need right now.
How can a 29 years old lady still be living with her aunty and u live in Lagos? Babe use wat u have to get way you want. Wise up babe
ReplyDeleteWhy do alot of people connote bad situations with bad dreams... Dreams are only but ones state of mind at a particular point.
ReplyDeleteHave you asked yourself why you usually have bad dreams when you're in difficult positions.😴
Please let's try and stop looking for problem when there's none.
Poster......I pity the situation you are in......seriously, I'm surprised your Aunt could do that to you. If you were her daughter, will she still give you the same advice......
ReplyDeleteHold on to your conviction oh and let her send you packing and let there be many witnesses. Infact, explain what happened and let them shook mouth and shame her if possible.
If you are a regular at your church, explain to the women leaders, they should be able to help you with accommodation. God is your strength
Poster don't try ur wicked aunt's plan oooo u heading to hell on earth oooo is better u allow her push u first before u go but u really need to leave that house cos no good thing will come out of it but still follow ur hrt
ReplyDeletePoster please do not agree to your aunt's plan else the kind of suffering you will go through will be times ten. Allow her to throw you out and see how God will show up on your matter.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, don't think of getting pregnant for anyone cos your situation might move from bad to worse. What if the supposed father of your child rejects you or even dies...you have not finished taking care of yourself, don't bring an innocent child into this world to suffer. As for the dreams, don't take it lightly its a sign of stagnation and demotion, you need to pray and break loose from every evil hold over your life. As long as you keep having the dreams it means you won't make progress...my 2cents sha..all the best
ReplyDeleteThose of you claiming you don't make friends, all friends cannot be bad. You make friends for times like this so you can have a shoulder to lean on. If a friend let you down, another can raise you up. Poster pls work with doppelganger's advice. She said it all. If you have been washing plates and clothes for your aunt then you can also work under somebody else while you earn. Why should somebody threaten your accommodation at such an age when children of 18 years are already living on their own. Allow her to kick you out tmrw. Go to any church and speak with the pastor you might get help. Wetin
ReplyDeletePoster please do not allow that moron of a man touch you
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what nigerians r skilled in 100%
ReplyDeleteFrustrating & damaging their vulnerable family members! Rejecting & throwing them away into fire.
And surely if u survive, those same people who have rejected in ur desperate time & most vulnerable situation in life, will quickly run to u and pursue u if u become a success in the future.
Shameless & very pathetic, cruel evil people.
so true 👏👏👏👏
DeleteYou said it all. Naijas wicked no be small both at home and abroad; educated or illiterates; male or female; tribe or no tribe; religious or non religious it doesn't matter. It's beyond pathetic just how inhumane and evil these set of homo sapiens can get. Yeye pipo.
DeleteYou said it all. Naijas wicked no be small both at home and abroad; educated or illiterates; male or female; tribe or no tribe; religious or non religious it doesn't matter. It's beyond pathetic just how inhumane and evil these set of homo sapiens can get. Yeye pipo.
DeletePoster, do you know there are single rooms of 1,500, 2k per month in Lagos, and not in far areas sef, if na to borrow, rent and be sleeping on the floor till you can be more comfortable, pls do.
ReplyDelete