STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
OVERWHELMING CHRONICLE
My dearest Stella, God bless and increase you, in all you do,i have been a silent bv from 2011 till eternity by God's grace, I love you and your blog has saved me lots of times from committing suicide.
I need advice biko awon blog visitors, it's not time for insults but give advice, nor be everybody dey know finish na him make person dey come seek advice, pardon my digression my story goes thus, it's going to be a long read, pls I need your patience.
I have gone to church to seek help, changed my lifestyle begged for mercy and all regarding this issue yet nothing don come out, I've lost hope and I feel like killing myself,you see i'm the first of 13 kids my mum has 8 girls in bid to have a boy child popsy go village go born extra girls come make us 13 girls, I was given the opportunity to go to the university but severe case of sexual harassment nor allow me graduate even after my extra year(story for another day).
My dad later fell sick and died in my final year, I too fell sick and almost died, I had a mysterious health challenge that I became paralysed if not that God was just faithful, my sickness cost a fortune that my mum went broke upon my discharge, they had sold everything to save my life; from medical treatment, to native treatment, to different prayer groups and the lord prevailed in my case.
When I recovered fully after 6months of intensive treatment,I hit the streets with my immediate younger sister to become runs girls, because truth be told life hard small for warri, we were in serious debt and my mum had become hypertensive all 13 girls lives with my mum, my step mum ran away without her kids, I had to grow up immediately and became the burden bearer, we started doing runs just to pay up all the debts from one cooperative to another and at least feed the house and train the younger ones.
My mum is always sick, sometimes I run away from home for weeks to hide from responsibilities but I pity my younger sister and my mum and come back home, I wanted to learn a skill but it's either the money will not be available or when I get it problem go carry am go, I have two really successful men on my case asking me to give birth for them before they will assist me financially, but I can't because I doubt if marriage will come out of it, besides these guys are well over 20 years my senior, I know say suffer dey but e never reach for me to born for my papa age grade and both men are divorced with kids.
My life looks stagnant no forward no backward the younger guys are always trying to use and dump me, make me cook clean sleep with me and marry someone else in the end, it got to a point i denied my younger ones for a guy because i looked like a liability, he still didn't marry me, I and my sis decided to go back to God and become celibate, we started serving God fully the days of severe hunger we go force the kids say na fasting, we did menial jobs i even come to in house news everyday just to check for job opening everyday but it's mostly graduate qualification.
Currently I relocated everyone to my village before warri boys go take take advantage of my siblings, I decided to stay with my former course mate as her help, she pays me 20k every month, which I don't mind but her husband is on my case to sleep with me, he says I'm too old to live with them, the matter tire me my brain don full, I don't know where to start from, I'm confused my mum is sick again I don't pick their calls anymore as I have no stories to tell:
Stella what do you advice I'm almost 30, no suitor, no reasonable job ,no home, no nothing, no achievement, pls my fellow bvs this post is not written to inspire pity but to ask for advice make una tell me wetin to do,I feel like I should die, so I'll feel better. Thanks and God bless you all, make una forgive my typos.
*So overwhelmed by this Chronicle and I dont even know what to say...What da........
Queen and Boss aka CHIEF
ReplyDeleteOke mmuo na eti onwe ya
Ijele Nwanyi
Dike
Okwulu oka
Nwa ka Nwa
Otu onye Ana asi unu abia na
Odi nfe anyi alu
Ofu mba ji Ana eme offload
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
I know you will be here
Welcome back.
What design of pigeon did you import?
This comment so cracked me up😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteLmaoooo @ what design of pigeon did you import?😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteThis CHIKE na gbaa naaa
😂😂😂😂@ ofu mbaji
DeleteJisos! Chike ooo lol@ofu mba ji Ana eme offload....what design of pigeon did you import😁😁😁
DeleteMba nu, I must comment on this one: Chike ibukwa agbara n'asusu Igbo o. Well done, I go like give you award
DeleteOp how come you keep attracting sexual harassment? You left school because you were sexually harassed. Your friend's husband wants to sleep with you. Everywhere you go is someone trying to sleep with. Is there a vibe around you the shouts "sex" or is it your dressing or the way you carry or present yourself. You need to deal with that first before moving forward.
DeleteOp how come you keep attracting sexual harassment? You left school because you were sexually harassed. Your friend's husband wants to sleep with you. Everywhere you go is someone trying to sleep with. Is there a vibe around you the shouts "sex" or is it your dressing or the way you carry or present yourself. You need to deal with that first before moving forward.
DeleteNice one tilly....my thoughts as well. God will deliver her. Me Sef get my own
DeleteHave you tried changing your location?
ReplyDeleteIf you live in Warri all your life and no possible head way, why not try moving to another state to start off to see if you'll get better opportunities?
Sometimes where you grow up, a lot of people would have known about your family, history and all...which may work to your advantage of disadvantage. Moreso, Warri is a small town where it's almost like everyone knows the other.
This may just be the spoiler.
I wish you all the best.
Poster I agree with bloggie
DeleteI also agree with Bloggie. Secondly,don't ever get pregnant for anyone no matter what cos it would be very worse for you...please avoid anything pregnancy for now til d right hubby comes biko.
Delete*of❌
Delete*or✔
I blame your mum for having 8 kids in the name of looking for a male child, u better don't fuck your friends husband oh,better for u to leave her house before u destroy her home, i don't trust desperate girls like u,let other's advice u cos ur matter big pass me.
ReplyDeleteSMH for u. Ur comment is the most unreasonable thing I have read today. She's is desperate for advice and not desperate to sleep with her course mate husband. If u don't have advice keep ur shallow thinking to ur fucking self. U irritant.
DeleteWat makes u think u re better than?? Frm ur comment...it shows ur up bringing
DeletePoverty dey this land, your papa just born run away, nawa o. So sorry but I think you can get a sales girl work, i don't even know what to say or you girls should go into farming with 10k you will buy grains and start
DeleteOga Angel awfa you na, the post no even shake you, you rather interpreted everything another way. Please have a heart and if you don't, hide it abeg rather than washing ur dirty linen in the public
DeleteBe still and know that there is God. The path you have chosen to be celibate is a right one and God us about to do something great in your life. It may not look like it but trust me he is working on something great, do not give in to your friends husband.
ReplyDeleteI'd ask that you flee from that house peacefully before he'd try to implicate you and spoil your friendship with your friend because of your refusal. At least, by leaving peacefully she can help you from afar but a broken friendship yields no fruit. Since you haven't learnt a skill why not look for another househelp work with elderly people whose kids are grown and away from home? Or a job that will need you to live with the job owner. Continue to pray and trust God for the best. I'd also advise that once you can get something doing and can do it then go back to school and finish up. You can also use your school cert to get something decent to do and earn a living. Living off men doesn't pay. All the best.
13 girls...
ReplyDeleteThe oldest is almost 30. The last should be 8 or 10.
Those that are of age should do menial jobs..
The Good Lord will help you guys.
Tell your younger ones to look for job no matter how small.
ReplyDeleteNo go kill yourself. Help your mum, if you have excess then you can give your siblings.
No go sleep with you gf husband. Start looking for another job.
It is well with you my sister.
ReplyDeleteFirst go for deliverance and save to learn a skill like hair making or nail artistry/eyelash fixing, something that will fetch you quick cash, no think of makeup sef, cos the market de too populated.
All the best.
Hmmmmm am just short of word poster may help come ur way in Jesus name
ReplyDeleteLord fix it
DeleteLord let her helpers locate her
DeleteStay totally away from sin. Soon, Your story will change.
ReplyDeleteVera sidika, hudah Monroe, jyoti and kiryan matharoo, INI Edo, ebube nwagbo, rukky Sanda...somebody pls tell this poster what these beautiful ladies have in common. dazall
ReplyDeleteYou are making vain insinuations and encouraging promiscuity.
DeleteThe poster says she has decided to follow God, if you don't have any
piece of advice, why not shut it?
Psalm 16: 4Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after another god: their drink offerings of blood will I not offer, nor take up their names into my lips.
Poster, you're earning twenty thousand naira, from that money you can rent a single room apartment, so that you can avoid your helper husband.
ReplyDeleteDon't help in destroying you helper happiness and home.
You can also work as a maid. Some maids earns good money, at least you will have somewhere to stay for free, eat for free and save your monthly salary.
As for your siblings, since they're in the village, they can start farming and also they can learn hand work. Every body must not have degree, basic education is most important. If they learn some trades or hand work, in the future after they have been able to save enough money, they can further their education.
Try your best in helping your mum with the little that you can and leave the rest to God.
Do not go back into the world of runs or prostitution, there might not be a second chance for you. The men or women you people have sexual intercourse with, most of them are into different diabolical and fetish things. They look for people destiny to destroy and light to turn off.
May the Lord send you more helpers and grant grace to stand firm in this trying times.
Mrs R, A 30 year old maid? Nebuchadnezzar! She should save up, get a cheap one room, acquire a skill and live life!
DeleteYes Sugar! What is wrong with a thirty years old lady being a maid?
DeletePeople work as maid and still have a fulfilled life.
Many of us outside Nigeria have worked in the past as maid, cleaners etc... Just that it comes with a written agreement.
What are u saying...13fucking kids...u think it's easy to shoulder responsibility...what are u really saying???...like Am trying to understand and comprehend what u are say...save from 20k...this poster has a good mind...if na some girls dem go turn their backs from house enter street and no go look back...u don what it is to shoulder responsibilities that's y u are saying all these
DeleteMrs R , you sit down in the comfort of your home without worries and type nonsense. How can you ask someone who has so much responsibilities with 20k as a MONTHLY salary to look for house to rent? How will she save that kind of money? Be wise in dishing out advice to people who really asked for it or needs it. Poster IMO, you should look out in your nearest neighborhood where you can learn skills, hair making is good and requires little capital. You are in the right path and God will definitely send you help soon. It is well with you
DeleteAnonymous you are so unreasonable, of course I sit at the comfort of my home to dish out reasonable and helpful advice!
DeleteDidn't you read where she said her helper husband is trying his best to frustrate her, he's trying to take advantage of her by pestering her for sex. So, you want her to remain in the same house with that man?
There are single room apartments as low as 3000 naira that she can rent so she will have her peace of mind.
I believe you read half of the chronicle post hence, your attacking my comment.
Please, borrow yourself a brain and learn to comprehend.
P.S. Next time you want to write rubbish under my comment, use your ID.
Saying
DeleteBack
DeleteMrs R,you live abroad abi and you know there are 3,000 houses here? SMH for you o. Why can't you stop the lies? Please don't say use your id, it's so silly to ask someone to open a blog id just so you can know who is replying you. By the way is Mrs your name and R your surname? So if someone with a blog 'basketball' replied you, what difference will it make
DeleteVery serious isshh
ReplyDeletePoster, thank God say Queen and boss don show. She will advice u.
ReplyDeleteLet me sit down to read her comment.
Only Jesus can fix you,let me read comments.
ReplyDeleteYour story is really touching gaskiya!
ReplyDeleteWhy not try to learn handwork poster? Its not easy but you need to earn to be able to assist your siblings even the ones that are old enough too can learn something. May God give you direction.
U are in warri,go and look for Aboso apostolic church its somewhere at ehnereh road dont know if i spelt it correct, they have a Facebook page too.you need serious prayer.
ReplyDeletePlease don't sleep with that woman's husband, she only tried to help you.
ReplyDeleteMay Jesus fix it for you
Reading this, felt like I wrote it subconsciously.. But in my case my mom never falls sick, she keeps praying for her children to be progressive. I'm at the verge of committing suicide myself. Been stagnated for as long as I can remember. Jobs aren't forthcoming, my course mates graduated earlier in the year but I'm still battling with my results,I find one result and 2 more go missing mysteriously. All the job openings here on SDK are for graduates. I'm smart, goal oriented, responsible and very presentable but nothing is working in my favor. Life hasn't been fair to me.
ReplyDeleteGo search for Humans of Abuja and read the latest story there about one ogechi..
DeleteWhatever be the case, even when you are broken, Don't give up. You have to go through hell to appreciate Paradise.
Please tell all your siblings to join you in seeking God. As a family, he will surely hear your cry for he said; "if my people called by my name shall humble themselves and seek me and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sins and heal their land" 2 Chron. 7:14
ReplyDeleteTell them that you have decided to follow the Lord Jesus and ask them to join you.
My dear I no get advice oh, I sha laughed when I read the 8 girls and in the bid for a boy gets an additional 5, wow typical of delta men, they can born. I just wish he is still alive to bear the burden not you.
ReplyDeleteSad
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, runz no dey pay sometimes. If u born for those men u will suffer more cos I'm sure they won't buy u a house and give u car, na petty petty money dem go give u, life is hard mehn, but that doesn't mean you have to make wrong choices or follow a wrong path.
ReplyDeleteStella why are you "crying out loud?"
ReplyDeleteIs there anything that is that has not been before?
Poster, please while you do those domestic work, and seek God like you have decided which is good. Please, ask yourself if there is any kind of skill you are passionate about for which you can learn. Knowledge of this is important for anyone that wants to help you. Everyone must not be a graduate.
Please do not give up.
ReplyDeleteWith God all things are possible.
Proverbs 23:17 17Do not let your heart envy sinners,
but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord.
18There is surely a future hope for you,
and your hope will not be cut off.
do not sleep with your friends husband it will backfire. you guys be patient and let everyone learn a skill. this struggle will pass just be patient
ReplyDeleteI think one mistake you made is sending ALL your younger ones to the village. There are some of them that can do menial jobs too, isn't it? It cant be just you and your immediate younger sister carrying the burden, thats why you feel overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteAs a first child the tendency is for you to want to carry the burden and shield them but rememeber all of you are a product of your father's bad decision and insensitivity. So you are in it together.
I think you should get a place. Even if na one room and parlour face me I slap you. As many as can work (15 upwards) should come to the city and do menial jobs. All of you go out everyday and do menial jobs. When uou return in the evening, you cook and eat from a common pot.
Also, all of you should join a bible believing church. You see, help comes from the church but sometimes we don't make ourselves useful in God's vineyard for us to be assisted. Most of us go to church to collect and not to give. Start by being a church worker, identify with your local assembly and work in the church. I tell you, you will get welfare assistance either from the pastor or a concerned member. Yes we should naturally be charitable, but as soemone who grew up in the house of 'annoyingly' charitable people I can tell you that reaching out to anyone who shows up in church has caused people not harm than good. Identify with your local assembly, I repeat identify with your local assembly. And see if soemone wont reach out to you. Reach out may not be moneytary. It could be admission and fees, a room in a bq or even a job somewhere.
Lastly, ignore marriage matter for now. I'm not saying you wont marry or marriage won't come. What I'm saying is, right now let that be the last thing on your mind. The major thing on your mind now should be charting a new course for yourself and your family. Build a team around yourself, with your siblings and all of you should Stay prayerful. Don't ever deny them, Why should you? Don't you know God can send you a husband that will train all those younger ones for you and it won't even touch his account? I have seen it happen more than once, so please ignore relationship matter for now. As in, BLANK am. Let your younger ones do anything... fast food attendant, cleaner in a bank, security personnel, all of you should get busy.
If you can move to a bigger city like Port Harcourt which isnf too far from warri and rent that face me I slap you. Your case isn't the worst oh. I have seen worse. Just don't sink into it. Put the past behind you and move forward. I am willing to contribute towards the accommodation move.
*caused people more harm than good
DeleteChikito nailed it.👌👌👌👊👊👊
DeleteGod bless your good heart Chikito.I'm liking you already
DeleteBest advice ever, pls study and heed Chikito's advice.
DeleteWe all sha know chikito has sense
DeleteDo not sleep with that man.
ReplyDeleteDo not return to prostitution for that is Satan's plan to ruin you.
This is a trial, a test that you must pass to enter God's promise like Joseph did;
James 1:2Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,a whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Babe upgrade.... All you need is to upgrade, 13 girls babe u gurls can be the Kardashians of Nigeria. @30? Bikonu change city and upgrade...... don't forget to wash your head and do jazz that will make rich men locate you excluding my husband though 😂😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteFunny you 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
DeleteHonestly she needs to upgrade...and bring her sisters from d village..life is tough
DeletePoster oya read this!
Delete💣😱
DeleteKiller advise
this one is strong o! frickity frack!
ReplyDeleteanyway, whats doing me is i want amala and gbegiri and ewedu with meat, shaki and pomo kika.
chai! if i see a bowl of this, i will be ok
oya let m advise you small, start doing menial jobs on top the one u are doing with your friend, clean houses, wash clothes etc when you get small money go and learn how to use computer maybe you can get clerk work later, be like say i dey yarn off point sef
Wo God go help you
Wow I really feel for you..What can I do now..I think you need to first relocate out of that place but you need to pray to God for his direction on whether to relocate..Cause even when there was famine in the land, Isaac still prospered in 100 folds in that land..Please BVS help her with any job available for her, all she needs is our support..Beloved Stella please help her in anyway abeg..
ReplyDeleteIt's never too late to learn a skill, are there trusted relatives who can help out with the younger ones? God has used me to train young girls brought as domestic helps.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm...ur situation is so critical and what you need is more than help from human..you need God to direct you.
ReplyDeleteAnyways,,to me,would have asked you to change location and prepare your mind towards any challenge you gonna face due to change of location.
You can get a nanny job which will feth u more than what your frnd is paying u...if possible you are able to gather littl then u can start a small business
Mc pinky
Poster. I am so sorry for all you're going through.
ReplyDeletePlease believe that there's hope for tomorrow. Things will get better I promise you, with our Almighty God by your side. He has seen your struggles and your efforts and will surely make a way for you.
Please find good christian homes where some of the younger ones can serve as helps. There are many families in need of that. Before you ship anyone of them off, put it in prayers and ask God to lead them to the best places where they won't be abused nor maltreated. Let the condition of service be for the family to put them through school. It'll be more beneficial to them in the long run than collecting peanuts.
As for you, if you can go around and ask for vacancies at supermarkets, fast food outlets, petrol stations, banks, salons, etc just a job that can help you save up some pennies at the end of the month. Then with that, register either for tailoring classes or sth like that and start your own business. With these efforts and with God's favour leading you, you'll all be on your way out of poverty and lack. Please remain on the righteous path for God blesses and rewards those who honour him. It is well with you Sister.
Poster I really feel for you, my heart is really bitter immediately I read this, dont worry God will fix things,just hold on to him
ReplyDeleteBabe, I don't think you have a problem. The only ish you have is your thinking and mentlity.
ReplyDeleteSee ehn, with that N20k you are earning get a one room and then learn a skill. choose to learn either tailoring, hairmaking or shoemaking. Once you acquire the skill, head into the city and get customers. simple!!!
Also, attend church. Correct big man church O. Na for church you go see your first customers for your learned skill.
God holds nothing against u anymore.
ReplyDeleteLive DAT house before big problem come out of it.
Learn a trade, try to succeed, before tagging siblings along.
Each sibling for now, depending on their age. If dey r done w sec sch, shld learn a trade, do sales girl job.
Hold on, keep trusting God. Ur miracle is almost here.
Just hold on to God, and don't break, no matter wat.
Bring ur sisters back from d village...I know what it is to shoulder responsibilities...no mind anybody wey dey tell u to go for deliverance...but pls don't sleep with ur frnds husband...I don't support that...upgrade and enter street back...if ur luck no shine ur sisters luck go shine...sorry it is well
ReplyDeletePoster you can strengthen things out for yourself firstly by living your friends house and so also change location, go to another city and start allover. Your house is full up now...get some of your sisters that are grown up to learn skills and be useful too, with these i believe the bandage on you will reduce.
ReplyDeletePoster......Jesus is the only solution I can recommend for you. Then you also need to make efforts to equip yourself with a skill. Since you don't have a good certificate to secure a good job, then learning a skill is your next option.....so that you will be able to argument what you are earning now....
ReplyDeleteHold on your miracle is on the way
What woman brings a 30year old maid some people really lack sense.Why not set you up than being a live in maid.Foolish woman.God will see you through.
ReplyDeleteI suggest four things:
ReplyDelete1. Pray seriously about your future and those of your siblings.
2. Assess and determine what lucrative skill you could get interested in and get trained for. Consider the skill that you could learn easily and easily transfer to your other siblings.
3. Determine how long and how much the training might take for you.
4. Put together a concrete proposal and resubmit to this forum. You never know.
I have found out that the way we present a problem can make it appear overwhelming even for those who might want to help. However breaking it down into doable/achievable goal can create opportunities that one never imagined. GOD IS ABLE.
Best wishes.
Poster do not give up cos is not over, God will show up when you least expect, he will make away for you, trust in God, all shall be well in no time.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many families that are willing to take in any of your siblings,will treat them well,send them to school in exchange for helping around the house but fingers have been burnt too many times.
ReplyDeleteYou can try an agent sha
Really short of words Lady but all I can say is this:
ReplyDelete1.You can't bite the finger that feeds you, so stay away from ur Friend's husband as much as possible
2. Pray like life doesn't exist as well as be an active member of a living Church and like Chikito said, you'll receive help no how now, bad as e bad
3. Look while working as a maid, search for alternative job around so that even as you're trying to stay away from the threatening assault of the (man), you have something to fall back to. That's an addition to 1.
4. You should allow ur siblings to work, the ones of age o. But first emphasize the family's situation to them: let it ring in their ears and ring a continuous bell, again let them know in the importance of protecting dignity_let them see reasons with you so that they can work with all integrity.
I think that's all I have. I feel ur pain dear and I sincerely wish you God's help
I have a job for you if you can come to ph. I can also take in one of your younger one as a help and train her in school or in a trade
ReplyDelete