STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHEN ONE SPOUSE DRIVES THE OTHER CRAZY
See Henn, my husband is driving me crazy. I think I am too much into him and I want to give him space. Most times he calls me abokoku simply 'husband wrapper' Loll.
See Henn, my husband is driving me crazy. I think I am too much into him and I want to give him space. Most times he calls me abokoku simply 'husband wrapper' Loll.
This is the guy that would not let me rest before we got married. He didn't even give me breathing space. He calls (called) me his gist buddy now, he says 'can't I stay on my own without being close to him'! (you see my life!). Sometimes when he says this, he is on the phone chatting with one girl like that so he wont want me to see his chat (although,this girl matter isn't even the problem, he says it before girl matter but when I am done dealing with him, he will deal with whoever the girl is)
Before marriage, I was a bit outgoing although I can be quiet if I don't connect with someone. I am myself's bestfriend. I love my own company a lot so much even now, when I am enjoying myself or having good time with friends, I can forget I am married. I can't survive long distance relationship because out of sight is out of mind for me.
This is why I always try to close up with him so I won't be too far. Now, he uses it against me.
Bvs, what do I do? I want to give him space while I try to go back to 'myself' and equally make him jealous and long for that 'gistbuddy' Let him go and do whatever he wants, go wherever he wants without needing to even tell me while i do my own thing.
Right now, I don't have friends around me again.. Please advise me on what to do, places to go.
*Its not a matter of trying to undo yourself from him,something is wrong and you need to search for the root problem and deal with it..
If he is busy with another relationship and wants you to stop hanging around him and you comply,hmmmm,you might end up losing him or sharing him officially with someone else....
What do you really want? ask yourself...
Hmm let me wait for comments
ReplyDeleteThis looks like a made up story by a freelancer who works for this blog.
DeleteReading mode in progress.
ReplyDeleteWill be back
To be honest,I don't understand this chronicle
ReplyDeleteThose that understand should give advice biko,lemme move over to another post 🏃🏃
I thought i was the only one oooo.
DeleteBiko what is the chronicle about?
😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐
ReplyDeleteLater when we yab some of you, you call us side chics. As if 😂😂😂😂 (let me reserve the last part of this sentence)
Warris dis? You didn't think dating and marriage could be have slight differences? Or you didn't know that you have to study a man and know the quantity of attention to give to him at various points in time?
I will pass....
Some girls can't differentiate between marriage and mere relationship. When you are in somebody's face every minute what do you expect?
DeleteThank u. That was just dating and this is marriage. So for 100 years U want to be inside his balls??? I beg this poster I'm sure u married at 15.
DeleteThe two of you are not mature for marraige. You are still 'posing' for yourselves. My advice is that you divorce yourselves and try 'marraige' again in ten years time. By then you would both have grown white hair 'down under' and hopefully you both will be wiser. Awon eleregbe meji. Lol
ReplyDeleteAs in..... I can't even imagine
DeleteAfi Eleregbe naa LMAO
DeleteLobatan!
DeleteHe has another chatting buddy? This one is infidelity uploading. Give him space at your own risk. Be close to him but don't be clingy, men hates that. You are his wife, you know what he likes. You guys can even plan a vacation together to reunite the spark or you can just travel for a while so that he will miss you. Don't go too long, a week or two is not bad. What did I know, I'm still single.
ReplyDeleteI will read comments mbok.
ReplyDeleteI actually believe that you are closing in on him too much which he doesn't like and sees it that you are infringing on his right of being the 'MAN' . I understand your pains dear,but may b you should always give him space sometimes to do his stuffs ... Men likes space.
ReplyDeleteSorry oh Ed... isn't this basic stuff a lady should know before they marry? That men get bored of clingy women? Or that attention can switch?
DeleteChi babe,not everyone knows oh... Depends on how their rship started
DeleteGo and get a book "why men love bitches" or "why men marry bitches". After reading it,come back and give your testimony. Simple as ABC.
ReplyDeleteLive by our life. Not to show him Out but because you only have one life
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand this chronicle
ReplyDeleteGive him the space he's craving for.. I am sure one gal out there is plaiting the dada on his head.. Men and complaints.. he should be happy u still clingy sef..
ReplyDeleteYou are now his wife . So he wan to cast his net even wider
ReplyDeleteMy dear take stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what am experiencing now o....except that we aint married yet. Dude bin dey gimme u are choking me kinda attitude cos of my constant nagging bout his calls to women n all. The best thing to do just as you suggested is selflove...let him yearn for you n not d oda way round. Let him do d clinging et al. I cannot come n kee myself jare. If only my parents will allow me marry the Ibo I truly love jeje...smh. Will sum up courage n send my chronicles soon Stella....
ReplyDeleteCalls with women and you are calling him your guy. If they won't let you marry the Igbo you want, you should look and marry a man who respects you. It is not true that all men cheat. Please have some respect for yourself.
DeleteIs well
DeletePoster try and withdraw that much attention you are giving to him but have one of your eyes open, you need to be a sharp woman, snoop, get his password to snoop, start going out, dress sexy, hangout with friends, take pictures where you are always laughing, take good care of yourself. Do not give him space for gisting, do not even ask him where is he going to, who he is chatting with, when he start charting you too pick up your phone and chat with people.
ReplyDeleteMake sure you are snooping to see what is behind his new attitude.
Yes. If you have good friends, hang out with them. Pick up a hubby or side hustle or concentrate more on your job if you have one. Be a church worker, involve yourself with charity, go for further education, anything, just do other things you enjoy and improve yourself. You will be shocked that he will be the one that will turn monitoring spirit on your case when you are not so readily available. Doing something worthwhile will also improve your self esteem. But don't go overboard ooo... I don warn you.
DeleteToo much of everything is bad.. He's probably not seeing anyone.
ReplyDeleteYou should give him a little space. Try making him jealous.. Hang out more.. Flaunt another 'gistbuddy' and see what happens.
If it doesn't work then I'm sorry.. You have cause to worry.
Most men don't like clingy women! It can be very irritating you know, so give him space biko
ReplyDeletemy dear dnt even try that.use ur discretion. if u giv him space u might end up losing ur husband jus like Stella said.ur oga is currently giving his attention to another woman, dnt ignore him rather u nid catch his attention again...b wise
ReplyDeleteYour husband is cheating on you and you say that is not your problem. *smiles* women! If my wife is gisting with any man and shunning me, she will not be around long to shun me. Why do you all not respect yourselves?
ReplyDeleteSista, you do not mind his ways no problem. How about you now get a life (not being rude). Do you work? Have hobbies? Never had any friends? Relatives that are sensible? Start forming your OWN life. Your husband's own life is centered around breaking your marital vows. I would suggest that you start shoring up your own life. You might stay with him forever but you are surely going to be sharing him and it will hurt if you do not have anything going for yourself. Instead of trying to make him jealous. GET BUSY! Do you have any dreams outside of being married? Now is the time to pursue them. Try not to use kids as a time filler either. It is selfish. If you already have children, stop for now cause your man is not ready to be a husband in the real sense of it. Focus on you and build you up. Nothing pinches us men like a woman who is about herself and is driven.
This woman is not asking for advice. She has made up her mind like a rock on what to do. The things she wrote up there reels with arrogance and selfishness. She is simply scattering her own home with her hands. If you love yourself and are yourself's best friend why did you attempt marriage in the first place?
ReplyDeleteThis route you are following is a thick bush!
If not that my wife is not a social media kinda person, i would have vowed she is this poster. My dear i personally i hate clingy thing.
ReplyDeleteImagined in my sitting room that i have like 4 sets of sofas and it must be the one am sitting she must sit every now and then. If am hanging out with my friends she will insist she go with me (and if i refused, for like 3 days it is malice)in some occassions i take her along mostly clubs. It is not as if i love her less but i should have my freedom at times. If we are sleeping on the bed, i must lie with my back on bed while facing the roof so she can alqays be on me (failure to do this, malice starts).
We've been married for 5 years with 2 beautiful children. So in my own case what will you suggest i do?
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DeleteWhat I suggest you do is hit Stella 👆 up with your chronicles and we the SDK BVN'S will hit you up with some good advice.
DeleteHahahahaah...she loves u now...am very sure u stopped her from having friends..
Deletefix it lord
DeleteWowwww....
DeleteI've been married 10 years and hubby won't have it any other way if we're sitting on the sofa to watch TV (our bodies must be touching somehow while we gist) and we always cuddle in bed at night. He says it makes him feel like my protector
So oga, the ones above don't seem like clingy to me oh
Like today, I went out with a couple of friends, sat out, drank and eat spicy pepersoup, came back at about 10pm. Sometimes hubby too goes out with the guys. Sometimes we go out together. There must be balance
Pardon me but you sound like the jealous and possessive type. Cut him some slack babe, work on yourself. Make new friends, travel, learn something new, take care of yourself and Slay. Watch him change.
ReplyDeleteI totally support you treating yourself good and making yourself happy. But i think you should dialogue, since this is a marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf you like follow him to the toilet. In fact help him hold up his dick while he takes a piss. All in the name of he is my gist partner or my husband is my best friend.
ReplyDeletePeople need their personal space even in marriage and I suspect you have made away with your friends, hobbies and now absorbing whatever he has to give.
He too isn't communicating whatever he feels properly to you .
The main problem here is maturity and the ability to have your own life which is entirely possible in marriage. Clinging to someone like a ravenous isn't a guarantee to make you closer to someone.
What's my own sef... I'm not even married lol.
#You cannot go back in time and fix your mistakes, but you can learn from them and forgive yourself for not knowing better*
ReplyDeleteAbokoku, when he calls you by that name why not laugh about it, kiss him and flatter him with words like, nobody gives it to me like you do or you're my buddy for life....sweet nothings that convey how you feel.
ReplyDeleteCasually remind him one day that you won't ALWAYS be around to give him attention so he should enjoy it while it lasts. When he asks what you mean, just smile and walk away. Believe me he'll get a brain reset.
If you're lonely, read some blogs. If you need a chat buddy, reconnect with an old friend or send me your number. I am newly married an introvert like you too. Sometimes I get bored of myself and crave my hubbys attention but I don't get it..It's tough but I don't let it get to me all the time.
The first sentence make whole lotta sense. And your advice, 👌🏽 c'est magnifique 😘
DeleteLol, stop being clingy my dear, give him space, 100yrds. Get ur own life n let him wonder what's up ur sleeve.
ReplyDeleteAfter driving all ur girlfriends with that "I'm now married attitude" now u don dey tire ur husband small small. Deal with it! Some friends will just get married and they'll start treating their friends like shit. Insult me all u want but make sure u get a life first.
ReplyDeleteAs in eeeh.
DeleteDon't mind them. 😒😒😒
DeleteLook for good friends and start forcing your self to be sociable. Watch movies, read books, learn a skill .
ReplyDeleteGo watch a movie. Attend parties.
Don't fall out of love with your husband and pray for him.
Dear Poster get busy, don't give him space and also don't cling to him. Discuss topics with your husband that interest him, watch TV with him, Also make friends and hang out with them.
ReplyDeletePoster......I believe its because you don't have kids yet that you are all over your hubby always. I pity you, you see my dear in marriage, you have to give your hubby a little space to have his own me time and you time with your girlfriends or church activities. Don't worry when kids comes you will have your hands full.
ReplyDeleteDon't do anything funny, just give him some space to breathe. Don't let him get bore of you cause that could make him seek fun outside......
You will be fine dear