STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED ABOUT TWO MARRIAGE PROPOSALS
Dear Stella.
Compliments.
Firstly I want to thank you very much for the wonderful job you are doing with your blog,m. I raise Beyonce Hand for you and all Beevees.
Now to my chronicle that needs urgent advice.
I am a girl of 26 and a lawyer with a booming business, a car and my own apartment.
I have 2 men who are on my neck for marriage and before the beevees crucify me, please hear the story first.
Let's call them Mr T and Mr O.
Mr T is a great person with a good heart.
He is 40 and a divorcee, he also has 3 kids.
He is everything I want in a man and I love him dearly.
We have been dating for 6 years now and though it was on and off for a while and the relationship has been turbulent, we always find a way to sort the issues and come back together.
Now my problem is that he asked me to marry him and I told him i will think about it not because I couldn't say yes immediately but because my family will reject him because of his marital status and baggage and drama of kids so now I am scared of accepting his proposal coz I think my people and friends will think low of me and won't be proud of me for accepting to marry someone who has been married before and who has kids.
He wants his kids birthed abroad coz he wants them to be citizens but I am not really taking in the idea coz I want to have a baby where my family will be around me. And a lot of other things he wants that I want the opposite of.
Then to Mr O, he is an ex I dated 7 years ago but during the times of turbulence with Mr T, i was with Mr O and he proposed and I also told him i will think about it.
Mr O is 30 and still struggling but I don't mind because we can grow together , no good job yet but he loves me dearly and he is loyal and faithful to the core. His family loves and respect me.
He let's me do whatever I want and doesn't have issues unlike Mr T who has issues with everything from dressing to fixing nails n not liking coloured hair and anyone that calls your phone, he must interrogate you on
But I know I don't love him as much as I love Mr T even though he seems to be the one that fits my image of a single man without baggage being my husband.
Please fellow beevees help a sister out...
I have prayed but no sign yet to help me decide which one to say yes to.
Stella biko use your red pen today.
Thank you and God bless you all in advance for both the advice and the curses.
Dear Stella.
Compliments.
Firstly I want to thank you very much for the wonderful job you are doing with your blog,m. I raise Beyonce Hand for you and all Beevees.
Now to my chronicle that needs urgent advice.
I am a girl of 26 and a lawyer with a booming business, a car and my own apartment.
I have 2 men who are on my neck for marriage and before the beevees crucify me, please hear the story first.
Let's call them Mr T and Mr O.
Mr T is a great person with a good heart.
He is 40 and a divorcee, he also has 3 kids.
He is everything I want in a man and I love him dearly.
We have been dating for 6 years now and though it was on and off for a while and the relationship has been turbulent, we always find a way to sort the issues and come back together.
Now my problem is that he asked me to marry him and I told him i will think about it not because I couldn't say yes immediately but because my family will reject him because of his marital status and baggage and drama of kids so now I am scared of accepting his proposal coz I think my people and friends will think low of me and won't be proud of me for accepting to marry someone who has been married before and who has kids.
He wants his kids birthed abroad coz he wants them to be citizens but I am not really taking in the idea coz I want to have a baby where my family will be around me. And a lot of other things he wants that I want the opposite of.
Then to Mr O, he is an ex I dated 7 years ago but during the times of turbulence with Mr T, i was with Mr O and he proposed and I also told him i will think about it.
Mr O is 30 and still struggling but I don't mind because we can grow together , no good job yet but he loves me dearly and he is loyal and faithful to the core. His family loves and respect me.
He let's me do whatever I want and doesn't have issues unlike Mr T who has issues with everything from dressing to fixing nails n not liking coloured hair and anyone that calls your phone, he must interrogate you on
But I know I don't love him as much as I love Mr T even though he seems to be the one that fits my image of a single man without baggage being my husband.
Please fellow beevees help a sister out...
I have prayed but no sign yet to help me decide which one to say yes to.
Stella biko use your red pen today.
Thank you and God bless you all in advance for both the advice and the curses.
*Red pen mi ti tan..Mo fe lo ra wa!
Some people are lucky
ReplyDeleteThe poster is so stupid..
DeleteI have always said it, don't be nice to ladies cos they won't appreciate your niceness. They like people who control their lives.
She is 26 years, yet she calls her self a girl...
Confused and brainless
My dear non look like a husband material jooor. If u were d one with 3kids will dat man want u.
DeleteAnd the second one, Odiegwu d family will like u cos they know ur worth Biko. Madam on ur Bluetooth u will still get nice eligible bachelors.. Don't be in a hurry and sorry
Over to the mamalawos and babalawos of SDK blog. Or maybe the prophets and prophetesses...
Delete@Anon. 16:00
DeleteWao! The thing pain you eh?
Take it easy, you will get your own proposals.
Poster: 6 and 7 years of "dating" respectively and you are not convinced without reasonable doubts,
You will never be convinced even if you marry any.
If you are praying and God is "silent", keep praying (assuming that your legs are closed, do not deceive yourself by praying and sharing cookies).
Again, as a lady, you will not like "another woman" to raise your kids; will you?
Also, the "struggling man" who "allows you to do anything" isn't the sound of "LOVE",
Someone that loves you will correct you and advice you objectively. Have you set the test
to know if he is craving for a "ticket to comfort zone?"
You must not marry one of them.
So you have been cheating on both of them for years, you have prayed about it indeed!
DeleteMy dear non of then befits your status allow them go..
DeleteDon't accept any marriage proposal from either of them take this from me cos i was once in your situation.
Mr T has loads of barrages This man has 3kids at the moment, at your age you want to be the one babysitting 3kids? Not 2 but 3kids
Haba
Then tell me how will you look like when you birth yours and then clock 40 with over 4kids.
What experience do you have to train those kids? Except he will take them to stay with his parent, which is not ideal cos, he's people might begin to raise eyebrow.
Secondly can you handle his level of insecurity?
Do you have to always step out to receive your calls?
For how long can you endure this?
Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not endured, you are still a young girl don't rush into any marriage you might regret else you might rush out.
Mr O is broke that's why he and his people are this loyal to you.
Take this from me.
Allow him handle some cool cash then you will see his true colour and run 4-40.
You are still a young girl don't allow desperation becloud your sense of reasoning to stick to any of them cos trust me you might end up regretting it.
Avoid family and societal pressure. Another marriage proposal will come.
Marriage is not all about I love you I love you. It goes way beyond that.
You have to consider their pros and cons.
A word is enough for the wise..
Pardon my typo
#drops mic
Lol @ goddess you nailed it. Nice one
DeleteThe goddess, great words. Post follow this advice
DeleteApt!
DeleteHummmmmm
ReplyDeletePoster,don't marry any of them abeg...
ReplyDeleteI would have advised you go for the divorcee but his baggage is too much!...
Don't say I didn't warn you oh!...
BVs will tell you to go for the broke ass nigga but marriage without money is hell fire on earth!...
*to...
DeleteYou allowed him access to your nakedness for 6 years. you knew about his kids and marital status, your friends knew he is a divorcee. Women and their fish brain. The 30 year old is probably pounding you better and you think sex will provide your needs.
DeleteQueen biko have you experienced it before?...lolz
DeleteQueen I agree. None do it for me. As in none!
DeleteBut if you have gwegweliphobia (the fear of being called a budding gwegs) then make a choice fast and send us asoebi Biko.
Dear poster better remain single than get yourself married to any of this men. No choice to make here
DeleteMarry the young and no baggage man. That's what you want us to write
ReplyDeletePoster, I think you can manage the young guy with no baggage,that's if he is loyal!
ReplyDeleteThe older man is a bag of problems on his own already...
On a second thought, you can discard the two and look out for a neutral employed young man with prospects like you..
Wishing you the best!
Lol marriage no be manage
DeleteU hv prayed
ReplyDeleteNo sign???
Btw what sign are u expecting wen ur punani is signed unto d stronghold of two Dicks....... mschewwwwwww Poster receive in Jesus name
Savage!🙌🏽🙌🏽
DeleteHahahahahaha! Beevees won't kill me oh
DeleteOver to adviser🚶🚶🚶
ReplyDeleteYou must learn yo live for yourself first, before others: especially in marriage. You must decide to choose someone only YOU can spend the rest of your life with, not fitting or meeting the expectations of people. Cos in 'the marriage', you are on your own.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, are you sure you are ready to give up your kind/choice of dressing, hairs, nails forever, just to be w Mr T? Will you be able yo cope w nursing 3 kids aside yours at ur age? At 40, there are Tins Mr T has outgrown. Will u drop yours for him and d sake of d Love?
How mature is Mr O? Is he being nice and caring cis he's a broke ass? How genuine is his love? Are you footing his bills in anyway?
He seems to have no baggages. Check him out properly, and if you are not in a haste, date him a little while more, to know him better.
Very wise write up 👌🏽👌🏽
DeleteUr comment is so on point....
Delete💋💋
DeleteYou knew s divorcee man had baggage and issues yet you dated for 6 years...poster,take severally seats
ReplyDeleteWho knows maybe shes the cause of his broken marriage, imagine dating a Married man since the age of 18yrs..
DeleteOf course she is.
DeleteStupid girl with fish brain.
Una no go allow person rest! Poster Abeg folo ur heart.
ReplyDeleteOur Red pen is currently unavailable. Please try again later.🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteOkay POSTER, just know that whatever will be, will be. You might even end up not marrying either of them.
So Follow your heart with brain. Cheers 😜
Poster is like you started dating Mr T when he was still married to his ex wife (judging With age difference and relationship duration)
ReplyDeleteWell to me Mr O sounds better.
It is not as if Mr T is not showing you signs to say no but you have pressed ignore button.
If you want to send in another Chronicle, marry Mr T, we will be glad to advise you again. After all, what are we BVs for?
What other advice are you seeking my dear, I guess the older man has these charm that still drugs u...beside most older divorced men do the know the right thing to say and the right way to do it. Pls think of this young loyal guy who appreciates you and doesn't hide it, what does he do that the older man doesn't? stay with someone that intends to make you happy,don't finish up a marriage someone has started, start yours with a fresh thick skin!
ReplyDeleteNone is good abeg. Broke ass niggas are always so lovey dovey. Wait till he makes money, all those freedom he gives you will be taken away. As for mr T, no go area.
ReplyDeleteNot making money 💰 set... Their insecurities too much
DeletePoster just follow ur heart...
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I won't marry the divorcee. But the other man, one can't really tell if he is loyal bcos of his current financial status.
ReplyDeleteMr T has alot of baggages, the marriage will not last so forget Mr T..no go area.
ReplyDeleteMr O is loyal because he's broke.
Close your legs and enter into fasting and prayer,i believe God will speak to you concerning Mr O. Or you follow your heart and endure whatever that comes out of it.
Good luck.
You are ashamed of Mr T, but the truth is you love him. Just to remind you that when you drop him another woman will take your place. The baggage you are complaining about is what another will handle well. So if you move on don't continue catching feelings for Mr T and regretting ooo. Why am I saying this? Your type may not appreciate a good man without baggage, because the love you feel for Mr T is still doing you skoin skoin. My dear pick the one you really want or wait for Mr Perfect, who knows, he may be right around the corner...
DeleteIt's obvious you love the divorcee only bcoz of his money cos all the things you don't like about him is supposed to show you he's not your kind of husband but your throat still dey there
ReplyDeletePoster can u cope with mr T's kids ND his baggage, can u stand his family wahala? If not go settle with the guy that is just starting his life for u to hv peace of mind
ReplyDeleteSmh... When pple like us are looking 4 just one
ReplyDeletei think since u haue issues with both maybe they are not the 'one'
What of Mr x, Mr y and Mr z? You're collecting dick from 3 of them, you collect money from 2 and give to the struggling guy and you're asking us what to do. You never ready to marry.
ReplyDeleteOn one hand is a load full of baggage and on other is an alakuba fellow with neither a job nor income.
ReplyDeletePlease enter street and find a better deal. There is still time
i have a feeling that you have been dating this divorcee man when he was still married... see ehnnn, I will be Frank with you.go for Mr O. at least he is a brand new husband unlike Mr T who is tokubo (second hand)..
ReplyDelete***that barrack boy***
The single man is loyal because he is poor now ,make him get money first u go see gobe side of him
ReplyDeleteI would have advised u to marry Mr T but his baggage is too much
ReplyDeleteMr O is loyal because he's broke, that's how broke niggas behave
Let go of the two of them, u are still very young.
Follow your heart . What is it with asking for peoples opinion with matters if the heart ? Search inward you will get your answer
ReplyDeleteSister poster please go for none of them.
ReplyDeleteLook for a Mr A or D,because you have T and O already#TOAD.
Take your time and search for the right partner,you still hv age on your side.never settle for less and do whats going to give you lifetime happiness.
Don't allow the opinions of people direct your life becos WORDS AND PEOPLE DIDN'T MAKE YOU SO WORDS AND PEOPLE CANT BREAK YOU.
Good luck sis with whatever decision you make😘
My dear all this problems from Mr. T will not disappear after marriage so i suggest you let him go especially after three kids. There younger one isn't better either, you see you need finance especially when the kids start coming. Don't think you can do it on your own. cos very soon you may resent mr. O if anything happens to your job or career. You may think 26 is old but my dear let them go and keep looking. Its better to marry well. Read alot of books about manipulative spouse especially Mr T he seems he will make you unhappy. Be patient. Never marry a man without a job, he has all the time in the world to ruin your own life
ReplyDeleteContinue to pray God will reveal your man to you or till meet your Pastor for spiritual Advice. Thank you
ReplyDeleteI will advice you to take mr O serious, still court him for sometimes and see if you can cope with him
ReplyDeleteYou know a man who is loyal when he has money.. But all the same happiness matters most in life.. Do what makes you happy and what you will never regret.. Thanks
ReplyDeletePoster........If the single guy has something he's doing at present, then go for him. And you can help him give his CV out.
ReplyDeletePlease, don't give the other man with the baggage any thought at all because his children will grow up to hate you for displacing their mum
And you better make your choice now before you loose them both, inugo
Go for the younger man my sister
ReplyDeleteFirstly,its only Mr T that is asking to marry you and not Mr O
ReplyDeleteUnless u want to tell us that this man got divorced at 34 yrs which is not true.
You were datimg him while nhe was still married and you offered yourself as a comfort instead of allowing him to settle whatever issues he had with his wife. You will definitely reap what you sowed. You think marriage is easy? Abeg I no get any advice to give for your Mr T
And for the second guy,broke guys are always loyal. I don't know how God is supposed to show you a sign when u are dating a married man and an innocent guy.
Let me stop being angry sef but I would go say you go for the second guy
In my humble opinion I will tell you to marry Mr O but not immediately. Your problem is what I call "Sugar Daddy syndrome". Mr T is a Sugar daddy figure who wants you to satisfy his emotional and romantic needs and the moment you cross the line and become his wife he will totally lose interest in you and look for a younger babe outside. He is concerned about your looks, appearance and the fact that he only tells you things he wants you to hear and know and not act as someone who is a partner. With 3 kids he won't be interested in you any more by the time you get pregnant. And by the way I noticed he already has planned everything that will sooth him. ...Having your baby abroad,relocating etc without considering your career and input in the matter.
ReplyDeleteI advice you consider Mr O and get to know him.more, and in the process cut all ties with Mr T and don't ever compare them. You claim you are willing to grow with him then I suggest you give it a try and be involved in his life more. Talk about his career,plans and support him in every way you can and see if he is someone truly ready to grow if he has the right partner.
Some ladies can die for the sugar daddy type. Money is their logo.
DeleteMarry the one that gives you peace of mind, the one that turns you on without gbenshing, Marry your choice, do not think of what people and family members will think. Just marry who makes you happy, cos marriage is a long journey that has no end, once you enter till the Lord comes, so make your choice wisely.
ReplyDeleteI like this 👍
DeleteI will advice you to take mr O serious, still court him for sometimes and see if you can cope with him
ReplyDeleteThe two of them no follow at all, but poster is not confused at all because she don choose her partner even before she send this chronicle to stella. madame I wish yu the best.
ReplyDeletePersonally I don't see problem here because u have stated the obvious. First I will tell u that u go with Mr. O reason been that from ur post here is the obvious in tells of idea man for u, a man who will not turn u to a punching bag later.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, the bible is seriously against you marrying a divorcee so he shouldn't be an option for you
Lastly, who says he won't divorce you like he did to the wife?
Thinks wisely and pray. U won't see anything due to some reasons which u know why.
26 yrs dated 40 and 30 yrs old men...you spoil oh but kidding my dear go for the single guy very important u no need advice for that...cuz that 40 and money u dey find from am talk true...waiting
ReplyDeleteWhere is doppelganger? Please Come advice the young lady
ReplyDelete*and
ReplyDeleteconfused somebori
ReplyDeletePlease leave the Mr T
you know u fuck am when he was still married ..karma na bitch o
leave O too
He loves you because you get money
They say the broom that chased away the first wife is ALWAYS hanging on the wooden rafters waiting for the second wife. Be wary of the divorcee, he has too much baggage. Btw, you are 26, now a woman,you don't need to fix colorful hair and long claws to be beautiful. Wear well fitted clothing with appropriate shoes and natural colored hair with good makeup.
ReplyDeleteAs for the second guy, I will have advised you to marry him but can you cope with and respect him for the lifestyle he can afford to give you? People with 50k salary are married and send kids to school, it all depends on the lifestyle choices.
Speak to your parents about this, you may be surprised at how well they understand what you are going through.
It means that you have been dating the man,even when he was married propriably the man divorced because of you. Meemh see you see grave
ReplyDeleteThis is a hard nut to crack. But as tough as it is, nobody but you can crack it.
ReplyDeleteYoung lady I personally have nothing against marrying a divorcee or an older man. Whoever makes us happy deserves our forever regardless of age, stature, looks and money.
The divorced man has been with you for about 7 years you say? Ask yourself what his current relationship status is with his ex wife. You've dated for that long and from what you've written you guys fight a lot. Does he live with his kids? Sit down and write out the reasons why you would like to date him and the reasons you won't. I'm also surprised that you've been dating a man for about 7 years and none of your parents have an idea of his marital status. Trust me, no one can have it hidden for that long if they are genuinely serious with him and imagined a forever with him.
To the single guy, please be extra careful. I am very wary of single guys who are broke or semitone and date made girls. The stories usually don't end up well. I also hope he doesn't know that you're double dating with a divorcee and you've not opened your big mouth to tell him that. Remember that love can't feed you. In fact love leaves you hungry that's why money must be there to sustain it. Sit down and ask yourself in all sincerity, is this man a low life and does he lack drive and ambition? When you answer these questions without sentiments, you will be able to decide if he's worth it.
The ball is in your court and please remember that it doesn't mean because you've been currently proposed to you, you would have to marry the current proposer(s). Use your head and if their cons far outweigh their pros, say no and put yourself right back on the singles market.
Good luck sister!
If you have to, Mr.O it is.
ReplyDeleteI know Mr T very well! He's not divorced so stop lying and I know you too! Remember my phone call to you??silly child.
ReplyDeleteGod has given u d answer but you are doubting Him. Your husband is waiting for you to leave those 2 and ask God for forgiveness. Started dating a married man at age 19/20yrs and still want red pen. Repent.
ReplyDeletePoster I hope this your Mr T is not olajide A. He is an IT consultant based in london.he has three kids.
ReplyDeleteMr T sounds a lot like Toju Gbenebechie. The age is the same, kids, divorced (which isn't the truth coz he was never married to the mother of his kids to start with) and the jealousy traits, having kids abroad. My dear run! You don't want to know how many of us have been involved with him before God opened our eyes.
ReplyDeletePoster. You are not ready for marriage because the reason you want to pick either men betray your immaturity. And it's fine to be immature regarding marriage, you're only 26. So why are you rushing.
ReplyDeleteFor the 40yr old man, you're out of your depths with him. He is more experienced and more savvy than you are & he's already controlling you. Do you know why his first marriage crashed? Could it be because he's abusive because I can see your relationship heading towards abuse.
To the young man on your case who has nothing tangible to offer you, but wants to marry you after 7yrs of being apart, why cement this with marriage? Can't you see that he's likely trying to settle down and be comfortable?
Young lady, I suggest leaving these two men alone and chase a passion of yours and your real husband will come as you find yourself. Best of luck.