Hmmmmmm
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED ABOUT WHOM TO CHOOSE....
While I was in uni I dated a guy who was working , we dated for two years , within that two years it was one thing or the other , we broke up after two years of dating that was 2012 , but we were still friends , I dated some other guys , he dated some other girls and he even had sex with 2 girls in my school and he is always telling them we dated but things never worked out between us , but we were still friends , in 2015 after I graduated from university we had sex , this year he relocated to my base because of his business .
While I was in uni I dated a guy who was working , we dated for two years , within that two years it was one thing or the other , we broke up after two years of dating that was 2012 , but we were still friends , I dated some other guys , he dated some other girls and he even had sex with 2 girls in my school and he is always telling them we dated but things never worked out between us , but we were still friends , in 2015 after I graduated from university we had sex , this year he relocated to my base because of his business .
we started getting closer again , I went to visit him we had sex , March this year I started dating someone who is so caring , respectful and all, I love him and I am 100% sure he loves me too , but the problem is that his salary is 40k at age 45, he stays in one bed room flat , without anything in the house except for bed and gas , and he is talking marriage like next year ending mean while my salary is 40k too, but the truth is that I love him , but the problem is that our salary is too small.
how do we cope when we start having children , paying bills and all , the other guy I dated why in school want me to get pregnant for him and he will do the necessary things so he said and he will send me out of the country to go birth the baby, I still told him last week that we should at least do introduction , he kept saying even if it 3 weeks pregnancy he will do all the necessary things , he has money , even built a house for himself , I love him too , but the problem now is I don't know who to choose .
I truly need an advice , please I am confuse, I don't want to suffer the way my mom is suffering , I just need a good life and to make her happy .
Your red pen is really needed and I need an advice from my fellow bv's . Thank you and God bless.
Your red pen is really needed and I need an advice from my fellow bv's . Thank you and God bless.
*If it is a man confused about two women now he will be called all sorts of names,you are gbenshing two men and looking for the easy way out...
It is good you are truthful that you dont want to suffer like your mum...
I dont think you should marry the guy with the 40k salary because you will not be happy with him if he takes you down the road you are trying to run away from...
You are left with the option of choosing the guy who wants you to get pregnant first before Marriage,he might probably have his reasons but note that his conditions might also turn you into a baby mama.
Choice is yours!
I'm thinking, maybe, just maybe, u are omitting the fact that the second guy, I'm mean the gbensh and off guy that wants pregnancy is a yahoo guy.
ReplyDeleteAs per the first guy, 80k may or may not sustain you all monthly, especially when u start having kids but there's always a chance that ur financial situation may improve. The decision lies entirely with u.
Keep on gbenshing until your eye is clear.
DeleteYou wrote "we had sex" like it was nothing....
Poster didnt mention that she has aborted b4 and guy man is aware thats why he needs proof.
DeleteBabe please do Tumbo Tumbo like a comment I read here some days back.....
DeleteYou never see husband. Keep searching
DeleteMake I follow stella and say go with her advice. 40k salary is a no go area.
ReplyDeleteKeep trying to convince Oga that wants you to get pregnant. Tell him you can't cos you might end up like a lot of people you know who were left with the pregnancy. Tell him instead he should take you to a clinic where they will test you to sew if everything is OK with you.
I don talk my own. No marry Oga 40k. And don't get pregnant before marriage.
Premarital sex is not good!
DeleteAll these folks talking about 40k salary "being nothing"
DeleteIf your only brother is earning 20k
won't you join the bandwagon looking for wife for him?
And promising the woman that "all will be well??"
OK we have heard you.
DeleteThat is what you earn.
If she be your sister u go ask her to marry 40k man?
And again poster money isn't everything sha.
If you think Mr 40k would have a bright future keep to him
Money is important in marriage that I am certain about. But marrying because one is richer is a different thing.
DeleteHoe story
ReplyDeleteHello Jennah are you the old Jennah or a fresh one? If you are the old one how have you been? It has been a while. Hope you are good? If a new one don't mind me, I say welcome to you to SDK blog.
DeleteAre these the only men toasting you, the second guy sounds better but getting pregnant for him first is very risky, do what you want
Delete@Push up: Hope you know that this word "toasting"
Deleteis wrong usage like you did here?
Is it possible to love 2 people at once? Id like to know cos u said u love both and i keep hearing people saying such.
ReplyDeleteAnyways leave the 45year old man pls. Leave the one that wants pregnancy too. How do u know he won't abandon u later? Find another
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMarry the one that love you most.
ReplyDeleteYou're a baby mama in making for your on and off BF
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
I'd rather the 1st guy babe. What sort of broke ass is that at 45? He shouldn't even be an option tufia!
ReplyDeleteMake una fear God ooo... Diaris God ooo...Una nor be God ooo... May things turn around for them 45 yr old man, amen.
DeleteNa lie O! Dat one na better one chance! At 45 someone will still be saying e go beta. If he was 30 I would even reason. Abet make hay while the sun shines
DeleteAnother baby mama loading..
ReplyDeleteLet him go and do the needful since he has the money why is he making things difficult for you.
Let God lead you to the right man.
Sorry off topic,pls anyone chatting with a guy called greg T on snm?
ReplyDeleteBaby mama loading.
ReplyDeleteThe way u emphasized on d 40k, 1room with bed nd gas is just funny.. Well at 45 he should be better than that.
ReplyDeleteThe other guy is not serious, not like he doesn't have d money but he just wants u to be at least 3 weeks pregnant. Nne biko run from d 2 nd pray God to give u the man destined fr u. Don't go nd do mumu love nd start suffering or get pregnant nd he will leave u nd run
I don't like a marriage offer that comes with a pre-marriage pregnancy condition. I also don't trust the love of poor and struggling guys. You know a man loves you when he is already rich before falling in love with you. Poor guy's love could be real or fake , when he becomes rich, then you know if he really loves you or not.
ReplyDeleteYou are finding it hard to choose between
ReplyDelete1. 100% genuine love with zero comfort and
2. 50% love with good comfort.
Choose 2 as love is not enough BUT with a condition
Which is- let him do the needful before you get pregnant maka 1 chance. Convince him to do the right thing. He should commit before you get preggy.
What he is offering now is just promises which you are not sure of.
Never get pregnant because a man wants you to do so. Getting pregnant his not a guarantee that he will marry you.
ReplyDeleteI think your mind is made up already. You want to get pregnant because of the good life the guy promised you. My dear you will regret it if you do.
Don't mind her, she thinks she is the only one the guy is asking for pregnancy?. May the first babymama win
DeleteBetween d devil n d deep sea.
ReplyDeleteNo guarantee he'll send u out to birth d baby.
👍 @ BB (I love your person on this blog btw). Is that a reason to marry? You people will be playing with the concept of marriage. Then later come and cry foul. Na una sabi.
DeleteYou are already having negative thoughts before entering this thing. Why dont you see both of you in the next few years what God can be able to do for you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear.... one of my church lady too had this type of thought because the man she wanted was not what God wanted for her. The man God wanted for her was just like this your guy but today if you see both of them you wont believe that this church rat is now making millions less than 5 years.
Just pray if it is God's will for you to marry him. Pray first and stop looking at what you are seeing now if it is God's will but if not, my dear BEN JOHNSON THE GUY OOO
From her write up she wants a quick fix not prayer things.
Deletehmmmm na wa for you sister, so you dey gbensh two men at the same time, for me ooo, I think the second man is too old but no too broke since you are working too but that your university guy na fuckhaholic oo... the guy go gbensh for outside tire if you end up with him... the choice is yours ooo... choose inside a cheating but well to do guy or an old man who is broke... for me ooo, I will advice you go for the university guy but be ready for the unseen cause that guy too like to chop different kind of pomo(cow skin)
ReplyDelete***that barrack boy (bb)***
Both men are not worth considering. Free yourself from unhappiness...... find a new man. And, can you just stop opening your kittykat upandan?
ReplyDeletemy sister you never see husband. 40k salary at 40? he will just transfer his poverty to you and the children you will both have. The other guy giving you condition is not serious..abeg waka go front before you impregnated and abandoned. and close your legs sister. hian!
ReplyDeleteKikikikikikiki, it is a crime and a sin to be poor in Nigeria.
DeletePoster, you can't marry the guy of 45 years with a salary of 40k. Do you want to bring kids into this world to suffer? Or you think he'll want to waste time before having children?
ReplyDeleteSince you know what you're trying to avoid, do well to leave that guy.
As for the one who is giving you conditions, save yourself from future abuse and ridicule by not marrying him. He doesn't love you UNCONDITIONALLY.
May God guide you.
I second Stella on this one. Don't marry man with 40k,if you really love him, you have to wait for his income to improve.
ReplyDeleteBut wait O! 40k at 45 years, the number of his years is higher than his take home. Is it spiritual problem or he is trying to set you up to check if you are materialistic. When it comes to marriage, it takes more than love to keep it together O!
As for the other guy, are you sure he really loves you? Because it doesn't sound like it O. He acts like someone looking for a homemaker to sire children to continue his lineage.
You have a lot of doubts in your heart, Sis please take it to God and try n talk to a marriage counsellor.
You can find them in your church,if you are a believer plus there are online renowned relationship counsellors that you can talk to.
The second guy na player oooo. No gree. I dont like you to be one of the baby mamas ooo. It is not a thing of joy for a lady to become a baby mama. That man will just give you belle and disappear. Like i said go and do your prayers and table both names before God.
ReplyDeleteDo 5 days midnight prayers and see how it goes
5 days midnight prayers while committing fornication? God cannot be mocked. Dear poster, I am not judging you but truth be told, my dear FLEE FORNICATION, then go to God in prayers. Only God knows what is good for you.
DeletePoster honestly you already made your choice but the fear is also understandable....how about you trick the rich one to get you some money to start a biz and when the biz start yielding profits you pay him and then money wont affect you choosing mr B... Just my 2 cents
ReplyDeleteAah, mogbe! Poster swerve O! Dis his idea na correct bullet. It can never end in praise. Dat is core DECEPTION. if Na u nko
DeletePoster in your mind you are choosing between true love and money, but on both counts you may be wrong because from your write up you are not sounding objective. Things are not always what they seem. Since I do not know the people involved I cannot choose for you. However all I will say is both of your choices are flawed, so if you must pick, pick the one that you are least likely to regret, and be prepared to take responsibility for your choice if things turn sour. Maybe you should go and consult Ifa or maybe the Mamalawo of SDK blog will help you.✌
ReplyDeletePoster follow ur heart but i would advice u to marry d rich guy.. I married a poor guy that is 42 yrs old all in d name of luv but he is now a beast. I'm a very cool headed girl. My husband is very hot tempered..he doesn't have a single luv for me again, always frustrated. Two yrs of marriage with a 6 month old son. Thinking of quitting d marriage but dont know how to go about it.. He beats me and womanizes like his life depends on it. He doesn't have regards for my family and always aggressive.i doubt if he will even allow me to leave with my baby.. I'm just stock here, dont know how to go about it. I'm indirectly waiting for my son to clock one so that i can leave his sorry ass.. So so sad i need advice oooo
ReplyDeleteSorry @ Uju.
DeleteIf you need advice send your story to Stella as a Stand alone Chronicle..
May God fix your marriage..
It is well.
Love is not enough to sustain a marriage. Mony is very very important
ReplyDeleteIn everything you do, do not marry a 40k guy, except you are ready to hustle and earn more. You think you are the first girl he has loved? Lol. They all had sense to run away, cos a fool at 40is a fool forever. Nb. Broke guys are the most romantic ever. Watch him change in u face when y'all marry.
ReplyDeletePoster, don't marry that uncle gwenz!
ReplyDeleteAge is no longer on his side. After getting married to him he might turn his life frustration on you..Accusing you of the one that has made to marry at his age.
For the first guy,you can pretend and tell him you are pregnant and see his reactions.
Please stop sleeping with the 45 year old man.Just be friends with him.
I wish you well.
BTW, that rich guy does not trust your womb. Wetin both of you carry am do when y'all were dating?
ReplyDeleteall I see is...."we had sex, we had sex,they had sex, we had sex twice".
ReplyDeletewelcome to the Nigerian dating scene, where sex is a detail one shouldn't miss when talking about a relationship.
oh and by the way..remember.....they had sex.
My dear,the 40k salaray option is a NO NO NO for me.In this recession?even me wey be sey both hubby and myself income is about 1M sef,its not enough....Na complain i dey everyday..Pls dont and also be careful with the guy pressuring you to get pregant before marriage...Infact just leave the 2 of them and pray for a better guy jare...Poverty is bad biko.
ReplyDeleteNo no with the first guy @45 earning 40k and I don't agree with ur uni guy,getting pregnant before marriage could lead you to baby mama since you don't want to suffer like your mum, watch out babe
ReplyDeleteThis is all I read up there;
ReplyDelete"He told me to come, we had sex . .."
"I went to his house, we had sex . . ."
"He gave me a side eye, we had sex . . ."
"He took me to the stream, we had sex . .."
"We entered his car, we had sex . . ."
"He slapped me .. . we had sex . . ."
"After having sex, he wants me to get pregnant . . ."
So where are all the babies from all the sex, contraception all through or abortions?
Don't you see that you have tarnished your dignity and that is affecting the way you reason?
If you were not "having sex" with every breath he takes, will he be telling you to "get pregnant?"
Don't you see that this man that wants you to get pregnant is desperate for babies and not you?
As soon as you get pregnant, he will postpone anything called wedding indefinitely!
Are you sure this version of the gist is not from your own experience? Look at the way you garnished the story.
Delete@Kwikwi
DeleteYou probably read differently because you "have sex" with every bat of an eyelid.
No wonder you are "Kwikwi"
That's the noise you make when you offer those "cheap candies"
Kwikwi, it is called hyperbole
DeleteThe point is noted
😂😂😂😂😂
DeletePlease say only what you know, a man doesn't need to sleep with you countless times before asking you to get pregnant for him before marriage. Some ask you to even before the first kiss/touch.
DeleteI aptly understand what hyperbole means and if you had read carefully the gist of the matter was focused on ambivalence and marriage choice . Sex was hardly a focus for your lovely hyperbole
DeleteMeeeen,
ReplyDeleteThese girls offer sex like cheap candies!
"We had sex, we had sex, we had sex . . ."
As if she was breathing in and out?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Deleteposter go for the 40k guy if you are sure you are not patching it up for him or he doesn't have any job but if he has a job and is a graduate, marry him. he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord, marrying you will open doors for him. As for the rich guy, when you finally get pregnant that you will know how many baby mamas he has, can you deal with that? if he's rich as you claim,let him find a better job for you first. I warn you desist from having sex with two men,zip up. STIs is real!!!
ReplyDeleteDump both of them and find correct guys!! and Hey Lady!! where is your dignity and pride?? Why are you engaged in a web...Upgrade your level and realize that you deserve better..Why would u allow men to treat you like doormat..Am tired of advising ladies that can trade their happiness for men that are not worth it...Abeg advice yourself jor..
ReplyDeleteSee tori for town...hope that guy is not a yahoo boy like eka said?
ReplyDeleteBoth are not even up to standard,but if you must choose,you better choose the one with 40k,if you dare get pregnant for the uni guy,Oyo would be ur case...
ReplyDeleteAs grown as you are, you still think like atinku. Sometimes I read your comments and I just SMH. Is it only air that is ur brain. You musnt comment. Your comments most times are senseless. We already noticed you with ur numerous pics including the last one so stop trying hard to get noticed. I wish you read your comments before you post them like this one up there and ask ur self if they make any single sense. Either your comments don't make a single meaning or they are in a single column wasting space.
DeleteI am not a hater, won't be. Just telling you what you should take note of. Ciao
Stupid comment
Delete😂😂😂Ralia u are so angry
DeleteRalia you must be a very stupid person...I am the last person that seeks for notice...av noticed you now...just stay clear ma name if you don't want me to come for you. ITK...idiot!
DeleteLemme just leave this here.
ReplyDeleteMy girl left me at some point last year, when I was at my lowest.
I tried to reason with her, even beg all to no avail.
Moved on, things started looking up for me and aunty suddenly came back.
The other side suddenly wasn't greener grass anymore.
Me I'm just forming lover boy, fiance, husband to be and all.
I'm just going to continue lashing her and when I'm done with her, I will take my leave too.
When you are done with her? Don't you know your revenge can backfire? As God has favoured you, why don't you have a clean break with her and go find you your own woman, your own wife? Hope you begin to see things more clearly and help yourself.
DeleteIf you want to have a baby, do so because you want to and ensure you have sufficient income to cater for it so Mr University is a no no.
ReplyDeleteThe other guy needs to get his act together before thinking marriage and he hasn't done that at 45, abeg waka go front, you never see husband yet!!!
Why would your rich boy friend give you a condition? Truth is he doesnt love you. He just wants a baby. I bet he is a yahoo guy. Dont open ur eyes and become a baby mama.
ReplyDeleteD other man seems sincere. To be realistic 40k salary is rly small. Even fresh graduates run away from such salary. Buh it is what he earns. We can't blame him. Being poor is not a crime. I think u should ask him more about why he is still single at 45. You are also working. With time things will get better. Money is good. But it is not everything.
Love is not the most important in marriage. That 40k-man is a NO NO, don't marry him
ReplyDeleteYou did not tell us the kind of issues you had with the first guy. DV, serial cheat, chronic liar or what? Cos as much as you want a good life and just love is not enough, you need to look before you leap. Except of course you are one of the team "cry inside G-Wagon than laugh inside Keke".
ReplyDeleteBut whatever you do "DO NOT GET PREGNANT BEFORE MARRIAGE" If he loves you enough, he should be able to walk that Lane with you.
My opinion.
40k @ 45 years dammit! Unless he wins the lottery or miraculously finds gold buried in his backyard( i.e. If he has backyard sef) then oyo is your case.
ReplyDeleteThe second one just wants to be sure you are not barren .
However the conclusion of the entire matter is that you don't really love any of them but trying to make a good bed to lay on,which is entirely reasonable in this bad economy.
Pls how can a 45yr old man be earning 40k, what has he been doing all his life? My dear Pls don't bring in kids into this world to suffer them.
ReplyDeleteNice artwork, for those who honour and respect heritage, great attempt. For the art professionals, this kind of initiatives should encouragement growth in your industry. My only concerns are that the statue in that picture doesn't bare sufficient resemblance to Awo, and I wonder how much this project cost.
ReplyDeleteTo those who say it is a misplaced priority, I'd say I understand your sentiment. It can sometimes be hard to see the value of projecting who we are/or who we can be by remembering our past heroes when we are in the face of difficulty. I just wish to remind us all, when we lose sight of who we are and define ourselves by what we own, then there is no hope indeed for us.
Poster Abeg Go 4 D Guy Wey Get Money. Nobody Like Poverty Ooo.
ReplyDeleteHow about you ask the rich bobo to rent a very comfortable apartment for you and your mum and give you 5 million naira as down Payment to carry belle since we are now treating the marriage like a transaction?
ReplyDeleteIf you carry the belle and he keeps to his promise,fine.If he doesn't,na to relocate with that cash oh!or you start a business!!!
Yes,there is nothing like unconditional love but no dull yasef!!
Pre marital sex is dangerous, forbid it until u get married. Go to God in prayer to guide u whom to marry,don't marry by money,money has wing,it can fly ,it can come.
ReplyDeleteSome aunty gwegs here telling you never marry #40k guy will gladly accept him and even give him money for their bride price, some even cloth and take good care of their husband, you are here forming confused.
ReplyDeleteyour rich boyfriend doesn't love you enough, he know you are frolicking with another man and wants to just make you a baby mama.
Stella have said it all, 80k can't run a home for one month. Weigh your options, only you can advise yourself. Whatever decision makes you happy and gives you inner peace is what you need.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmm......this Chronicle sef..mi tire but let's be sincere.
ReplyDeleteFor those of u having the idea of 40k or 45k is nothing or wetin I read..no one can predict tomorrow,change is a constant thing and he might be stinkingly rich within a year after marriage and dont use money as a basic factory wen choosing partner
Also,,am against d idea of a lady bin pregnant before marriage but if it happens as a result of carelessness during the courship then u take it up from dia and if not,,why believe before doing iyawo? NO
Poster....follow ur heart,no one can tell u wat to do but go to God in prayer..simple
Mc pinky
Ooo and poster take this first hand from me the loyalty of a broke person can never be TRUSTED.
ReplyDeleteGo back and read your first paragraph again, therein lies the reason behind your confusion. All I see there is sex, sex, sex, ah ah!
ReplyDeleteAs for the 40k guy, I can only say 'hmmmmmmmm' because I cannot say what tomorrow holds in store for him. Perhaps marriage will open up plethora of opportunities for him.
As for the guy that has placed getting pregnant as a condition for doing the needful, you really need to probe further to uncover the true motive behind such demand.
As for the last guy, I leave you to advice yourself. You no be small pikin. Afterall you don dey do wetin adults dey do.
How old are you? I would recommend you leave both guys and focus on yourself first. A guy that gave you condition before he does the needful is sick, very sick! You will regret getting yourself involved if you dare marry him. Tufiakwa to think that you are even considering him! The 40k guy is even a better option if it's a matter of life and death, if not wait and see if a better guy comes along. But whatever you do, you not listen to the pregnant guy! He's bad news, he has no morals, that kind of guy will treat you like shit.
ReplyDeleteYou are the one wearing the shoe so pick among the both guys. Do not only look at the present, Aldi consider the future, 40k salary may become 1m salary.
ReplyDeleteDamn.. See this girl sharing pussy up and down!
ReplyDeletePoster......The choice is yours to make. You're the one that know who among the two men you truly love....
ReplyDeleteBut if its to have financial security then the first guy is okay if you're cool with getting pregnant before marriage....but I hope he doesn't renege on his words when the pregnancy show.....
Poster remember you were enjoying the 40k with the other guy then u never complain of it just because the rich dude came in to the pic u now asking for advice. Is better u think carefully its not all abt the money but the peace and happiness u get at the end that matters
ReplyDeletewhy do you sound my gf? except my salary is not 40k and i am not close to 40 talk more of been 45.
ReplyDeleteIts ok to want a rich man but you what do you have to offer? What are you bringing to the table?life happens probably why the other guy is receiving 40k at his age but you can get something doing to support if you really want to be with him. Rich guy might go broke tomorrow how wil you cope?
ReplyDeleteLife happens probably why he is receiving 40k at his age, things can change later for him. Rich guy might go broke tomorrow how wil you cope? And madam what do u have to offer, what are you bringing to the table?
ReplyDeletePostee, i advice you let go of both of them, the uni guy doesn't have any respect for woman while the 40k @ 45 can eventually use you to upgrade his financial status pray hard and wait for the best.
ReplyDelete