Hmmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MATTERS OF THE HEART AND SOUL
Good day Stella. Your blog saves lives and relationships. May God enlarge your coast. Please hide my ID. I have some issues that are bothering me concerning my relationship of 6yrs and the decisions I am about to make.
Good day Stella. Your blog saves lives and relationships. May God enlarge your coast. Please hide my ID. I have some issues that are bothering me concerning my relationship of 6yrs and the decisions I am about to make.
Lemme start like this, my girl will be 24 yrs by next month (I am 29 yrs, I stay in a 3 bedroom flat and I have a car I am managing) and she told me that the AGE she gave to herself is about to elapse. I understand her plight cos it is every girl's desire to marry on time especially when such fellow is the first daughter. My monthly salary is less than 110k ,though it will be 140k in few months to come.
I have decided to borrow 3m from bank to offset my financial challenges. I want to give my Dad 2m to finish his house project and 1m(+my savings now) for my wedding. So, I want to know if it is a wise decision to borrow from bank. I have heard some scary stories how these banks used to mess things up for u when one fails to meet up with their conditions in the long run.
Also, I just discovered that my girl has been chatting with guys on Facebook and WhatsApp and they have been exchanging pictures(not nude). She normally deletes such chats. I confronted her and she told me the truth and apologised. She said that my misbehaviour over the years pushed her into such acts. The thing is that I have repented of my ill attitudes and gave her my words which I am sincere about.
She used those past events as excuse for her misbehaviour. Though she has apologised. I am confused right now. Should I go ahead and borrow the 3m or should I wait till when my monthly salary will be OK to start up a family (I know it will be difficult for her to wait more)? Will she disappoint me in the future? Please I need proper advice on this issue cos this present scene is an integral part of my future. Thanks as I await for the comments.
Whatever you do,DO NOT BORROW Money from the Bank to get married!
I think what you need to do is borrow money (like 100k) from LAPO to buy sense because you don't have sense
ReplyDeletelol. poster I'm sorry I lol'ed
DeleteYou are not too wise, what young men do in order to save be it for wedding or whatever is to join a thrift (locally called adashe) which helps you to save, if you started immediately you got the job, getting married wunt have been a problem. Marriage plans doesn't take place immediately so you can start saving now, first of all engaged her, after a year you see her people, just take everything slowly, about her attitude you can't blame her much, if she was your sister you will not want her putting all her eggs in one basket and it's not like she had anything sexual with these men, so forgive after all she has forgiven you for your past so why can't you to same, this tells me you are a selfish man, you have a good girl who really wants to settle down. Why are you living in a three bed room house with a 110k salary you are being penny wise pound foolish, hope she's also doing something though
Delete👊... 😂
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteMy brother, don't borrow money for wedding or completion of your father's house. It is not a wise thing to do. Don't lay the foundation of your marriage on debts. It will affect you for life. When your salary increases, start saving a bulk of it and cut down on frivolous spending.
Deleteyou can only borrow money for business investment. Something that will yield profit and benefit your life. You can even borrow money to build a house for yourself, a house you can sublet to tenants and make money for life and even pass on to your children. I can help with such real estate investment. Pls let her go if she can't wait. Explain things to her and let her know your plans.
6 years no marriage will make d girl scared, worried and doubtful if it will ever lead anywhere thats why she is chatting other guys so she doesnt loose on d end. Try to save up and do even if its introduction abeg if not u will loose dat babe
DeleteLol. Borrow money from LAPO and you will surely get sense.
DeletePlease don't borrow money to wed. You can't a new life with debts running through your mind. If she is not patient with you please let her go because she will still be the same person to tell you that she didn't bargain for this management life.
Do not borrow money. Instead, engage your girl. Go see her people but make her understand the wedding won't be right away, that you need time to stabilize in your finances. But be specific. She should also work to bring money to the table. If she's not ready to wait, then let her go.
DeleteGood luck.
Let me tell you my story:
DeleteMy wife and I married straight from school.
No jobs, no house or flat, nothing.
We had our "wedding/marriage" in her dad's sitting room,
We were well dressed in simple traditional attires,
Next was a registry wedding where she wore white skirt suit
I designed this skirt suit and her tailor made it; she loved it.
And I wore the "regular black suit"
We were beautiful and different and we had every peace that Jesus gives.
We took our guests (about thirty) to an exotic eatery and they were well fed
and had takeaways.
(We used the money we gathered during the "marriage ceremony" in her dad's house
to pay deposit for a one room self contained apartment. Dad helped a little with
the foods and drink that was eaten that day)
We've been happy, joyful and blessed for years together
Attained landmarks in our professions and moved to better apartments
We are not in debt and never indebted to anyone.
Advice:
It depends on the girl you want to marry
And on yourself
Marriage is a blessing and an investment
But WEDDING is not an investment
cut your coat according to your size
Proverbs 22:7 (NIV), “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.
Women will never take responsibility for their actions always putting blame just like APC,abi APC na woman?
DeleteMy guy na talk she they. I bet you if one of those guys she is chatting up with ask her to marry him,she go so leave you. She is with you now cos she has no choice. See her yeye excuse for .
DeleteOga you will be paid N140 in 3 months time, why do you want to borrow. I pity people wey dey borrow monies from banks. I dont advice my enemies to borrow from them self.
ReplyDeleteIf your girlfriend is eager to get marry, free her na. six years and you still dey shift legs.
Tell her you are not ready yet and let her go since marraige is an achievement after her degrees. Tell me is she working? If she is, the two of you should help each other out.
Na wa. It is well with una two
Poster please listen o
DeleteWicked someborrii, after 6 years of sucking ur smelly brokos.
DeleteHian
ReplyDelete@ 24 she's desperate for marriage.
Delete@27 You will be calling her gwegs.
DeletePoster, u want to borrow money from bank to do ur wedding? Pls don't! Have a heart to heart talk with ur girl to be patience with u for a little while. The both of u shld save for the wedding. And don't over do things.
ReplyDeleteIt's not just the girl who is at fault, this guy is a slow guy, it's now that he is 29 he wants to start looking for money for wedding like marriage was never in his plan... nawa o,
DeleteOga please don't borrow any money from the bank oh cos you wanna get married, if you savings can't do it then forget about marriage for now.
ReplyDelete1)Sir do not borrow money from the bank
Delete2) you have misplaced priorities, how can you live as a bachelor in a three bedroom flat and say that you are managing
3)why should you borrow money to build your dad a house, if you have a good father he'll never let you be indebted
4) you can do a small wedding, it must not be on Bella naija
5) your salary is enough to start a family, if you're not ready just say so and stop wasting that girl's time
Please do not borrow for anything,youright father's house project can wait,babe can wait if she can't she isn't yours ,tell her girl bye,lv within your means,why do u need a 3 bedroom as a single guy that is a waste of ur limited resources,cut down on all d extras and save.
ReplyDeleteDont borrow from bank, but dont say babe can wait, has she not waited enough for 6years. If he doesnt want to loose the babe he shud better do introduction and start saving for wedding
DeleteDon't borrow money wait till you're financially ok. Thanks to my hubby ex who couldn't wait anymore for him to be ok before they walk down the aisle 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteif one person own no spoil another person own no go better. I join u to laugh at dh ex 😀😅😉😃
DeleteGuy!!!* Dont ever try it *.
ReplyDeleteNever n forever ...if she's in hurry let her go with her stinky pussy.
Never worth it,marry her now and she seek divorce in few months!! You wan enter gbese for woman right?? 😂😂😂
Very dangerous !!! DO NOT TRY EVER.
Stinky pussy? Annon,really
DeleteAnon, na your type dey bring their mothers out to be insulted. Your mother's p***y is stinky and you lick am come out. Oshi.
DeleteStella pls post for anonymous 15:10.
Brother, biko don borrow to marry.
ReplyDeleteIf any woman wants to be with you, let the person be with for who you are and maybe what you have, so there won't be any, 'I thought you have money' in the future.
Then again, your girl is practicing linda's gospel. She's not putting her eggs in one basket, she's actually looking for other guys to fall on in case g'awuo n'ala (fall hand). She's desperate. 24 is not enough to be desperate but I guess people are different.
Brother don't borrow please, give it time to see where this goes. Meanwhile don't cheat oo. OK take care
My Brother , a word is enough for the wise.
ReplyDeleteplease don't take money from the Bank now,u can join cooperative Society for financial assistance after joining by taking loan at low interest.
please watch the babe for a while before you conclude on her.
All the Best.
Follow Stella advice. She should wait ooo. If she can't then she should follow her face book love them ooo.
ReplyDeleteJoin Issusu and save up money for ya father's house.
Oga listen and listen good... Don't borrow any shi shi to get married!
ReplyDeleteYes I'm a young married man!
Secondly, don't allow any lady to push you in to marrying her sharply sharply! Do that when you are ready.
On your girlfriend charting with guys and giving excuses,I think its high time you gave her ultimatum to either stop the silly acts or you call it quit.watch her afterwards and see how it goes!
I wish you luck in making the right choice in life!
Watch her for how long? They've been together for 6 freaking years.
DeleteHa. Awon time wasters
Chai poster. You 've been gbensing that babe when she was 17. What is the difference between you and Tyga.
ReplyDeleteCut your coat according to your size, don't go borrowing money from the bank if you don't want a HBP.....
ReplyDeleteYou will most likely not be able to borrow 3m on your salary because your repayment cannot exceed a particular percentage of your salary. So if you are paying 30k monthly, how many years will it take you to finish. Banks do not give that long.
ReplyDeleteIt is not a good idea to borrow to complete your dads house or your wedding. The money will finish and you will be repaying from that salary you are trying to manage.
Your dads house can wait till you have the money. Keep your wedding under a tight budget.
Don't live above your means. Borrowing that money will make you live above your means.
Imagine that you are staying in a 3bedroom and driving a car with that salary. That is already reaching roo high except that house is in a low rent area and the car is low maintenance. If not, you are not planning well.
Never borrow money to eat or for trivail things. Only borrow money to invest. Don't push it if she is meant for you or believes in you she will wait. Sometimes we try to hard keeping things or relationships that are not suppose to be part of our destinies
ReplyDeleteGod bless you
DeleteReasonable talk.
DeleteSo true
DeleteListen to yourself Sir..How can you borrow money from the bank to start a life journey..You better reason well and stop being childish about this..
ReplyDeleteHmmmm... Don't borrow any money. Explain things to her and if she can't understand let her be. take your time to hustle,if she is yours she will stick and wait..okay...
ReplyDelete3million for marriage or business?
ReplyDeleteIs she working? Any skill?. Uncle I'm not in the mood Biko. Don't you dare borrow. !
Borrow to wed????
ReplyDeleteOriegwuuuu
More like borrow to complete his father's house.
DeletePoster I am with Stella on this one. Don't borrow! At 24 she is acting desperate...
ReplyDeleteWhy won't she be desperate, you don chop her for 6 years. Wetin come remain.
DeleteBorrow from a bank ke? Just to wed a girl you are not sure off?
ReplyDeleteOP, please, the sun is very hot today. The last thing we need here is too over heat our brains.
Give your father money to finish his building project and face your work. Your girl friend will be alright, besides she's 24 whats the hurry?
*of
DeleteLet me advice you friend, Never borrow any money from the bank... and if you are bench on borrowing, borrow from Paylater. But borrowing money to offset a debt or to compete a project or to get married is not wise because you may never recover from it.
ReplyDeleteAside of that, if you are unable to payback, the bank will mess you up big time. For that your girl that chat randomly with guys on FB and Whatsapp, I don't think she'll stop ooo. but you can install WhatsApp Clone to monitor all her activities on Whatsapp.
In all, do not borrow. Live and Plan within your means.
But the money you want to borrow is to complete your father's hoeuse now,how is that her fault? You already have 1 million savings for wedding,go ahead with the wedding plans if you love her. I font understand how giving your dad 2 million to complete his house part of your wedding plans.
ReplyDeleteDon't borrow money from anywhere to do wedding. Plan your wedding according to your pocket. You can just do traditional marriage within the family if you are Igbo and just do the court marriage, it's cheaper. You must not do a big reception. Just have a get together with family and close friends. You can now do big reception when you have money later in the future. Just ask your pastor or reverend to do marriage blessing for u.
ReplyDeleteI went to tea again. Haba! The whole money you are borrowing is for your dad na,it is your 1 million savings you wan to use for wedding. Free he babe if you don't want her. She believes you're comfortable enough to get hitched and is scared you do t want to commit to her which is why she wants to keep her options open. You have a car and a furnished apartment and earn above 100k,you will be fine.
ReplyDelete*to read
DeleteU want to borrow money to do a wedding n strt up a family? Think twice bro!
ReplyDeleteI think u should relax for now,save up a little more n strt from there, your girl is just 24,why's she rushing? If she feels she can't chill den free her but dont go n borrow to marry her and give ursef HBP latr in the future. Try n save a lil, strt doing it gradually, don't wait till u gather all the money coz u go wait tire!
Nigera is fucked up mehn.. those dat are receiving 60k -70k monthly, how long will it take for them to start up a family? sadly that's d kinda job u see here . Mtcheww
The only reason why you should borrow money is for an investment that will yield profit pls.
ReplyDeleteDon't even try it for any other reason!
Borrowing from Nigerian banks is a terrible idea, even when it's for an ongoing business that has prospects. And this man is considering borrowing to get married? You're batshit crazy if you do so.
ReplyDeleteDo you really want to get married to somebody who just wants to get married??? Who wants to use you as a means to an end? You don't love yourself honestly. Look at what you are already thinking of doing before getting married to her. please you are 29, stabilize first! Honestly I don't know why a 24 year old is so in hurry to get married. Anyway, please DO NOT BORROW money to get married. If she wants to go and marry those guys that she's chatting with let her, you should get somebody that understands your situation.
ReplyDeleteEarning 100k per month can sustain a couple provided that she is working, and cut down all you excess expensive such as 3bedroom flat, leaving a fake life, etc, and save for the future.
ReplyDelete"Leaving?"
DeleteHow about LIVING a righteous life?
Don't borrow money from the bank but you can do a small introduction and court wedding for now pending when you save enough for traditional marriage.
ReplyDeleteDon't be in a rush for anything. What is yours would be yours. Why take a loan to finish your father's house and marry, it is not making sense. Marry within your means, and later God will bless you with money to complete your father's house. God bless you.
ReplyDeletePoster wt that salary, u can start up a family.
ReplyDeleteYes. I hv colleagues on same level wt me(some even lower) married wt wife and kidS. Wife either not working or managing some where.
I know we hope and trust on becoming better but u can start up something if u both love urself and feel the time is right.
Whatever u want to do with regards to starting up a fam, DO NOT BORROW money.
U can hv a small wedding. Maybe just tradition for now. If u so wish for a grand wedding wt all the paparazzi, u can do that maybe during ur 10th, 15th or 20th anniversary and ur kids can spice it off by being ur train.
U actually know what, by then, it will be a long lasting honeymoon bcx u won't be thinking of babies coming again. It will just be enjoyment all d way
😁
Don't borrow to marry or to support your father's building project.You are setting yourself up for frustration and failure if you borrow. If you want to borrow to do anything it should be business that will generate funds for you to pay back.
ReplyDeleteAccept your current situation and limitations and live within your means. Accept you are not financially ready to marry now and be honest about it with your girl. Leave her with the option to wait or move on to someone who is ready financially. There will definitely be someone for you to marry when you have saved enough and is financially ready to raise a family. Don't pressure yourself or give into pressure from anyone.
Don't complicate your life to please people.
@Poster,don't listen to all this yeye BV's suggesting you that you leave her. Most of them are not worthy Of gibing theirselves advice, let alone someoneelse.They will just been spilling rubbish because they have free MB.
ReplyDeleteMy two cents for you:we all feel insecure in our lives at some point or the other. To dedicate/invest six years of your life to someone doesn't come easy. One or two wrong relationships in a ladies'prime can land her into singleness at old age. All she might want is to know if there is any light at the end of the tunnel.
You have a source of income,truth be told everyone in Nigeria is managing,what you see is just external packaging. I don't think you need a societal wedding to be married, all you need is minimum 3 witnesses,shikena!
For all those saying at 24,she is too desperate.Are you her God? If she feels she is emotionally ready,why shouldn't she do what makes her happy. It is still the same people that would be calling someone Aunty Gwegs. Mtsheeeeew!World-people!
You guys need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk. Let her no her stand.You cannot keep floating her. If you are planning in the nearest future, WHEN?
The grass isn't greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it.
My dear I agree with you. She isn't desperate at all, just insecure... Six years is too long to date abeg. And poster...
Delete1. Do not borrow. 110/month is more than enough to start a family especially if your woman is working too.
2. You better move to a two bedroom flat or one room self contain. Seems like you don't know how to be prudent with money. Inukwa 3 bedroom flat.
3. Do not borrow for any of those two ventures... Building father's house or doing wedding.
God bless u.
DeleteAfter six solid years!!!
Why is a bachelor staying in a 3 bedroom apartment when u know u r a salary earner?
Isn't that stupidity?
Whos this one again?
ReplyDeleteOk.. Let's assume, you borrow money from the bank. How will you cope when babies start coming? Borrow again? My brother pls be wise! If she is working you guys can contribute for the marriage, if not wait till you have save enough.
ReplyDeleteIf you like your peace, don't borrow money from the bank for anything not even your dad project!
ReplyDeleteGuy, i am not here to criticize you. I have a few points to make.
ReplyDeleteFirst of, i think you should move out of the 3 bedroom apartment and move in to a 2 bedroom apartment to cut down your rent and save up more money. Unless you are getting a great deal for the 3 bedroom apartment.
Second, it isn't wise to borrow that amount of money from a bank for either your dad's house or your wedding. The banks put a very high interest rate and i bet you, you'll be repaying that loan for years. Do the simple maths if you pay 50k a month -which is a huge amount from your monthly salary- it will take you 5 years to pay up 3M that doesn't include the interest. This is crazy.
Next, you'll need to have a sincere conversation with your girl telling her you income and your plans for her to see if she is in with you. Ask for her sincere opinion. If doesn't sit well with her, then let her go and you focus on your career and life. A lady who will love you and partner with you will definitely come.
Let her go after her wifely duties of six years?
DeleteWeldone sir
Uncle uncle please, Do not borrow from the bank to avoid stories that touch the heart🙏🙏🙏,
ReplyDeleteSecondly that girl doesn't love you. Case closed.
your girl is 23 going on 24 and you say she can't wait for long... mumu!!.. you sound like dopemu of life... as for the guy she is chatting with, no fear Jor.. she is acting her age na.. wentin you expect na, she is 23 guy go chase and she must give attention as the child she is..borrow the money for your father sake not hers plsssss... that is if your dad is not like some stupid dad some of us have
ReplyDelete**that barrack boy**
bro calm down,why the rush,you want to borrow money for your wedding with a girl that has a question mark already,your salary aint bad, save some more, work a lil harder and make some some real 💰,if she can't wait she should pack well.
ReplyDeletePoster, I beg you in the name of God DO NOT BORROW to get wedded nor finish your parent's house. For u to even think about this in the first place means you are a very compassionate person.I am a 34 yr old woman got married at 25 in 2008. I work in an MFB and I borrowed 500k as at then to support hubby for our wedding. Bros, if I tell u am still using one to rub off another since then,would u believe that? And hubby no send me o,he will even ask me why am always broke and would not even do his responsibilities at home. Every year,to the glory of God,I always get increment 2ce in a year,but what can I use to show for all my hard labor,Bros, na Igbese. Have a mini wedding,and start building your life, for your parents if u have siblings,you all should come together and contribute towards it, Do not do it ALONE, Igba kolobi orere o
ReplyDeleteLess than 150k salary and you are living in a 3 bedroom flat!!! My fiancé earns 250k but lives in a one room face me and I slap you apartment says he will move to a 2 bedroom apartment after our marriage. He does not have a car and do not want it now but later. Bros you are really living beyond your means walai!
ReplyDeleteWhy won't she want marriage? When She sees a car and 3 bed room flat. Don't borrow because there is no sense in doing that.
Gbam
DeletePlease you people should leave him na. Let him borrow Biko. The more the wedding budget the more money for us Event planners na 😝
ReplyDeleteOk to be serious, uncle please you can actually do a wedding with any budget ( as an event planner I would make sure of that) but the question is do you have enough savings to sustain your marriage/home afterwards?? Have a plan, have a strategy , don't depend on salary Biko
Adam was only seven days old when he married eve,poster you want to sap all d nectar from her and discard d shaft away abi? If you really know,that you know in your heart that this lady does not belong in your future,please kindly let her know now. N if she does,gv her specifics, "by so n so time God willing,we would be man n wife". Please don't lie to her. God is watching.
ReplyDeleteLmfaooooo @Adam was seven days old when he married Eve....
DeleteLet me say if you don't want to die young and early DONT borrow. Do you know why most marriages fail in the first year. It's mainly due to Financial,emotional and induced stress from trying to meet financial obligations....Food, rent,upkeep. Empty you bank account and you empty your happiness bank. Again why do you want to live you parents life for them. If your parents could not afford to build a house in their active years why should you stress yourself at the early stage of your life. Don't get me wrong...if you can afford it why NOT but it clearly shows you can't. Again why is your girlfriend so desperate and is she working? How much is she earning and willing to bring into the partnership. From what you said she is 24, the first born and desperate to marry. That is a disaster waiting to happen. She sounds like her family is looking for someone to start paying their bills and an ATM husband for not just their daughter but the family.
ReplyDeleteDon't start your new journey in life on any loan. Marry with whatever you have and can raise financially and not a dream wedding. We all want a dream wedding but if you don't have the money do a realistic wedding. It requires 2 or 3 people from each family side to sign and act as witnesses. Any number above that is bonus that you can determine and control.
If your girlfriend is already working what's her contribution and how is her family ready to support the ceremony. Marriage is a partnership that once you get it wrong from the start then it will wobble,wobble until it crumbles.
#come back and thank me later.
Like Stella said, don't borrow to marry. Borrowing to assist your folks with their house completion is even excusable ( cos you wanna take the bullet for them). But neither of your reasons for borrowing are tenable.
ReplyDelete1. Let's say you borrow for wedding, your expenses are gonna go up after you marry. I don't expect you to live off your wife so you will have to include her in your spending budget. How would you make her comfortable when you have a debt to offset? It's not reasonable.
2. You can have a small nice cute (kweeet 🤣) wedding within your means. You can give it a year. Do the introduction and set the stage. So that when your income increases in few months, you will be more financiallly balanced to prepare for a wedding. Cut down on lifestyle and keep the focus in mind. You go dey alright.
3. You guys ain't to young to marry. Trust me, if you're focused and your babe isn't as vain as me (lol) you can pull through. Just FOCUS.
4. Bros, Abeg commot for that house sharperly! Ahn Ahn! Even 2 bedroom is okay. But 3??!! No no no. Move out please. Move to a smaller apartment you don't need that much space and we both know extra room is for your boys to come and gbensh side chics. I would have even said 1 bed room but since you're getting married two is okay for now. I think you might have blown things out of proportion at the initial stage of being employed (like most young men in Lagos) and reality is just setting in for you. You're 29 and you're still young for a guy, so it's not too late to amend your spending habits.
5. Make a mental note to make better financial decisions henceforth. You will keep getting to this point if you don't see lack of planning as a problem. Learn to plan and save and don't spend emotionally. Also, your babe should get something doing so that her human hair and pancake money is off you until you balance financially. Marriage no be beans oh! Not to scare you but.... think pampers and baby food. If you can start the process and give yourselves a timeframe for the wedding to hold I think that would put things in perspective and chase the 'flies' around her.
Good luck on your journey to becoming a man 😁 Not just by carrying big 'jomo' upandan 😂
Eyaa.. I feel your pain bro. Lemme advise you: have hrt to hrt talk with your girl. Let her know the conditions of things. U guys can fix the wedding by December next year. Start saving towards that. Believe me, it will work out if u plan seriously. I know u r a good guy that's y u are planning to murder yourself financially by borrowing. If she has sense, she supposed to know that u r the right guy for her. Forgive her misbehaviors, but warn her seriously cos of future occurrence. Don't you have siblings, contribute with your siblings towards your dad's house project. It shall be well with u and your babe. Bye............,...................
ReplyDeletePoster follow stella's advice, do not borrow money to start life
ReplyDeletePoster you are funny o. You think you will go and stand in the bank and demand for N3M on that your N110K salary?
ReplyDeleteSorry o, You dont know anything about collecting loans. You cannot get more than 500k from that your salary except you want to put up that your father's land as collateral. Funny guy.
Aha!! That too ☝🏽 I didn't even think of collateral.
DeleteI'm sorry to ask, please what is your girlfriend bringing to the table? Is she working or running a business? or shes just sitting pretty waiting to be plucked? 24 is too young to be desperate, she should be investing in herself....
ReplyDeleteAnyways, take it from me. I used to be a banker, do NOT borrow money unless it's for investment purposes. Is your father renting out the house when its completed? If no, please let Papa be managing until you can afford it. N140k isnt bad, i know a lot of people who earn less and are married. You can quietly go to court and get married now, the celebration can come later. Let sisi give you more time cos she would still leave you if you borrow to wed cos your monthly repayments will leave you with very little to survive on. Frustration will set in...
Please work with what you have and also have a budget it's very necessary. Hope your girl is also imputing something into the wedding expenses? Just like Stella said 'don't borrow from the bank to marry' wedding is not an investment. You can opt for traditional wedding + court marriage.
ReplyDeleteDon't even borrow to complete your father's building, you can save towards that or better still wish is important to you, getting married or building your father's house? Priorities
Don't borrow any money, talk to your girl because 6yr is not 6month. 3 bedroom is too much for both of you, marriage of a thing is not a joke. If you are sure she is the type of woman you want(you should kw that already) go ahead and marry her. You can actually do the traditional marriage and wedding the same day
ReplyDeletePoster you funny oh.. Don't borrow money please, don't do what you will regret oh. There is life after wedding!!
ReplyDeleteU know what, my husband received 20k as salary, I receive 30k as salary and we are very much fine, no one will ever believe we receive less than 100k. Guy na sense u need money to buy.
ReplyDeleteWhy will you borrow money to do wedding that is only a day ceremony
ReplyDeleteSo after wedding ,you will still borrow money to feed and take care of the house and babies when they start coming
Don't start what you cannot end
Bottom line don't borrow for wedding oo
Tiwa
Marry the girl in court. No need for big wedding. Do small introduction in the house. Don't borrow money for your father's house. If you can't pay they will collect the house
ReplyDeleteI got married really early this year in Nigeria. My husband is a doctor that makes 100k a month. I make more than 3 times his salary in a month. So his salary was small compared to mine. We worked with what we had. He paid for his own outfits, cake, and half of photography. I covered my clothes, food, half of photography. Instead of spending thousands of naira on reception venue, we used a guest house. It was where we were going to stay for honeymoon and they let us use the living room during the day for the reception. It did not cost us anything extra to do. We did not give souvenirs. We decorated the space ourselves, with the help of a friend. I also bought the drinks. My husband wanted to pay for my outfits but I refused because I like big things that I know he could not afford at the moment. Our wedding cost 1.3 million in total and that is because my clothes, make up and hair was 400k (still inside the 1.3m). I am sharing this with you because with 600k, you can plan a wedding. Even if you do church, you do not need to rent reception hall for 1 million naira. You can use a friends house that has big space as your reception. You can designate the cooking to trusted friends. My friends sister made mine but she took 100k for what should have been around 180k. It will be foolish to borrow money to feed a large crowd, and go home to hunger. Invite few people. Tell your mama and papa that their old school association cannot come, or if they want to come, tell your parents to arrange cooler of rice for them, while you supply their drinks. You can spend 10 to 15k on their friends drink, if they supply the food. There are many ways to work around this. Do not go and entangle yourself with debt. There are many more things to do with money after marriage.
ReplyDeleteEleyii ti mad ooo you wanna borrow money for wedding?? I dont just understand why people do that shit, See wedding is a one day thing but Marriage is a lifetime thing. Can't you invest the money then do wedding later?? People keep making the same mistake they will now be broke after wedding
ReplyDeletePoster....don't borrow money because of a wedding. You shouldn't even think of putting your father's house on the line.
ReplyDeleteYou can do the introduction and engagement and then go for a court wedding. Discuss this with your girl and reach a conclusion because it's the end that will justify the means . And remember that house keeping allowance is still there for you to be giving your wife every month
Let me tell you my story:
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I married straight from school.
No jobs, no house or flat, nothing.
We had our "wedding/marriage" in her dad's sitting room,
We were well dressed in simple traditional attires,
Next was a registry wedding where she wore white skirt suit
I designed this skirt suit and her tailor made it; she loved it.
And I wore the "regular black suit"
We were beautiful and different and we had every peace that Jesus gives.
We took our guests (about thirty) to an exotic eatery and they were well fed
and had takeaways.
(We used the money we gathered during the "marriage ceremony" in her dad's house
to pay deposit for a one room self contained apartment. Dad helped a little with
the foods and drink that was eaten that day)
We've been happy, joyful and blessed for years together
Attained landmarks in our professions and moved to better apartments
We are not in debt and never indebted to anyone.
Advice:
It depends on the girl you want to marry
And on yourself
Marriage is a blessing and an investment
But WEDDING is not an investment
cut your coat according to your size
Proverbs 22:7 (NIV), “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.
Dear Poster, Please never borrow money from the bank if you don't have a tangible business action or a desperate personal need to sort out, I am worried at the loan offer you have got, Considering your salary proposed N140K, your debt capacity in year should not exceed N560K. So any institution that intends to borrow you N3.0M maybe for 5 years is not helping you as you will technically mortgage your next 5yrs servicing loan utilized for consumption. Borrowing for your Daddy's house project is not a bad investment,however at your age personal asset acquisition and development should be your prime focus. On the wedding, Pls dont try borrow for any wedding or any activity that it is consumption in nature.
ReplyDeletePoster, ur girl isn't desperate 6 yrs is no joke. Her age doesn't matter but the duration of the relationship and moreover She is giving you that ultimatum Becos She sees you living the big life and not mentioning marriage. With 110k salary a month if you had marriage in the picture then your wedding money should be ready by now. Do not borrow for your wedding please if you truly love your girl cut down on your expenses if possible start doing contributions but do not let this year end without taking your relationship to the next level. You can always build your father's house after your wedding Becos I don't understand what you were using your salary for all this while ooo
ReplyDeleteIf you have the mentality to borrow money from a bank to sponsor your wedding, I don't think you are matured enough to get married.
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster, please do not take that loan. Join a contribution association at work. With 50k monthly and 10persons in the group you can raise a million in a year and a half.
ReplyDeleteThat girl is a good girl..don't mess up her life. Go and introduce yourself to her parents in march, engage her in june. Wed her traditionally and in court in September. Then white wedding in December...lol.
Poster you said you are 29 years and yet you sound like 15 years old boy, why will you borrow money from bank to get married? You want to die before your time abi? Do not borrow money to marry for any reason, if you want to marry focus on who instituted marriage in the first place, talk to him to make your marriage for you. Any money you spend is gone it will never come back again. Do a simple wedding, and start your life after wedding, what matters is after wedding and not the wedding day. Do a small wedding, forget about showing up or to impress people, Am talking from experience, never you collect loan from a bank for wedding or to build a house. You can collect loan from the bank to run a business that will always bring returns all the time. Be smart.
ReplyDeleteMy problem is not even the girl. My problem is the 2 million that you want to give your father. How na. Shouldn't you think of investment. Shouldn't you invest that money so to raise more that can help your marriage and father's building.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, please don't borrow that money. You will forever be indebted to d bank. Discuss with your girl, at this stage now, it all depends on the girl.it is true she has spent most of her youthful age with u buh she still needs to give u another grace of a year. Believe me,u can have a successful wedding by late next yr if u start now to plan towards it. I can see that both of you are good to each other that's y u guys are still close after six yrs( u have lasted more than some marriages, lol). Talk to your dad, help him to build d huz after your wedding. Buh please don't borrow cos u will regret it...
ReplyDeleteI'm just laughing.
ReplyDeleteThis poster thinks bank will give him loan just like that.
You think any Tom dick and HArry come to ask for loan and they give them.
What will be your reason for the loan
.You want to tell them for wedding and dad's house they will give you.
What collateral are you dropping for such a loan ?